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| Sun December 14, 2014 |
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Cow jumps six-foot fence, damages three vehicles as it leads police on chase through town after escaping from butcher, offered athletic scholarship to Bovine University
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For-profit "college" ITT Tech wants to build for-profit charter "high schools" across the U.S. But, fortunately, lots of people have a problem with this
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Congress shuts down the government, and we scoff and complain. But what would happen if Congress shut down the Super Bowl?
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Photoshop Challenge: Replace the basketball with something more interesting
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Vending machines of the future will be more like your mom, less like your unemployed cousin who doesn't work
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ISIS Down Under (Live Feed)
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Hipster vandal only vandalizes the hood emblem of BMWs to express anti-affluence class resistance
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Transatlantic 747 makes emergency landing due to super-hot chili peppers burning its gut, triggering fire alarm. "It was the third time this year that vegetables and flowers forced flights to divert to Shannon"
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IRS considers returning $33k seized from woman who acted like a terrorist drug dealer by making bank deposits of less than $10k. IRS insists if the $22k is returned, she's still not declared innocent. Also, legal costs to be deducted from the $11k
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Finally, a hard-hitting NPR piece that will answer a question plaguing nearly everyone in the world: How can you tell if your kid is happy?
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Pot-dining in Colorado is currently illegal, but have hope: Foodies interested in marijuana dining insist the law eventually will change. "The drug pairs well with food and acceptance will grow once people stop associating pot dining with brownies"
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State that refuses to recognize same sex marriage forces same sex couple to remain married to avoid endorsing same sex marriage
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Photoshop what really should be seen through the door
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Today marks the 378th birthday of the U.S. National Guard. Yes, it's older than the U.S. itself
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Two murderers escape Alabama jail after executing their daring ingenious plan of walking outside without anyone noticing
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You know it's a major storm when it can turn Lake Tahoe into a surfer's paradise
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Can you as a Farker get through the twelve pubs of Christmas?
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Woman caught with 12 pounds of cocaine in her spare tire. Border patrol assures her it's not going to be a very good year
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Burglar caught by the hair on his chinny chin chin
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London Bridge damaged after a car accident. Inspectors making repairs to stop it from falling down, falling down, falling down
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Old and busted: Expensive oil is bad for the economy. New Hotness: Cheap oil bad for the economy
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Meet the New York high school student who made $72 million trading stocks during his lunch breaks and now treats his friends to $400 caviar lunches
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Mother left her kids home all night to go out drinking and get a tattoo. Apparently some people have a problem with this
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Roses are red, violets are blue, steal my parking space, and you'll be covered with glue
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Tourists decide that instead of walking to campground toilets in heavy rain they'd drive their van... off a small cliff into a river
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Power outage caused by copper theft. Police suspect kleptomaniac Claude Cooper from Cleveland may have copped the copper
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Study finds that 25% of Wisconsonites are binge drinkers, a rate second only to North Dakota. Experts cite a myriad of complex sociological reasons for this, most predominately, what is known as the "what the fark else is there to do here?" Factor
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"God save thee, little teenager, from the fiends that plague thee thus. Why look'st thou so?" With my crossbow I shot my father cross
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Hey, China, what's up with all your strange buildings and your people always cutting in line?
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CSB Sunday Morning: Memories for the price of a ticket
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Photoshop these civil servants
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Someday the mushrooms that we eat might be grown in special labs and thrive on plastic waste, making you long for the good old days when they only grew in cow poop
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What are you most talented at?
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"I'm telling you, putting out Leon's toilet paper is no different than putting out T-bone steaks"
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| Sat December 13, 2014 |
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If you are going to celebrate your 21st birthday with a racist birthday cake, don't post it on Instagram, University of Maryland sorority
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Photoshop this ginormous system error
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France: One small step for euthanasia or one giant step toward "Logan's Run"?
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News: Minnesota county rejects atheist group's application to perform civil marriage ceremonies. Fark: Accepts Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Church of the Latter Day Dude
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On second thought, all dogs do not go to heaven. Sorry, Fido
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Your young son wets himself. Do you: A) Threaten to put him in diapers; B) Sooth him and tell him it's okay; C) Dress him up in girls clothing, mock him, take pictures of him, and post those pictures to Facebook so everyone can laugh?
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People ask me how I do it / and I say there's nothing to it / You just stand there looking cute / and when something moves, you shoot
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Farker Needs a hobby. Difficulty: No work shop space or garage. Suggestions?
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An anonymous "layaway angel" spent $20,000 paying off every single layaway account at a Toys R Us store in Bellingham, Mass
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Photoshop this roaring weather
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71 year old man wakes up to 33 year old woman getting into bed with him. Unfortunately, she was still in her car
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Grocery stores reportedly running out of tinfoil across the Phoenix metro area
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Soldier stationed in Missouri travels to South Carolina to visit his newborn child and wife. What could ruin this? Oh yes, a landlord who wants to evict the wife and child because the soldier has "overstayed as a visitor"
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Icelandic Naming Committee approves new human names Súlamít, Bláklukka, Hrafnfjörð, and Lýra, also issues warning for non-native speakers about potential to swallow their own tongue while greeting someone
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Guy looking for a house to flip stumbles upon home of Wild Bill from Band of Brothers. A dusty, dusty home
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Should you be concerned about a cheese preservative banned at Whole Foods? What the hell do food hipsters know about preservatives? Or the entire country of Lebanon. It's just cheese
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Bad: rear-ending an off-duty cop with your car. Worse: Punching him and fleeing the scene after he identifies himself. Epic Fail: Forgetting to ditch your cocaine and grabbing a cop by the throat during your arrest
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"A man's elaborate attempt to propose to his girlfriend ended in disaster when a crane destroyed a house" (with video)
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A murder in Ohio
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Should Los Angeles pave over its freeways?
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Tired of scorching hot bacon fat spitting all over your family jewels? You need naked bacon cooking armor
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Defense attorney says police officers should only go to prison for 1/100 as long as others convicted of the same crime. Surprisingly, the judge doesn't agree
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If somoene calls you from an unknown number and tells you they are a family member that needs $2000 so they can come home without a criminal record, chances are they already have one
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Sad: wild African dog pups abandoned by mother at OKC Zoo. Good: adopted by surrogate golden retriever. With dawwww pics of the "wild" pups
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In the mad rush of Christmas shopping, don't forget the little guy
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Good Samaritan comes to defense of woman after perv grabs her ass. Perv arrested and charged with felony. Now perv suing Samaritan for public embarrassment
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Judges orders Arizona woman released after 22 years on death row for killing her 4 year old son, because prosecutors didn't turn over evidence against a lying POS detective with a history of being a lying liar
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Smacking a middle school student with a hubcap, then walking into a nearby business naked is a quick way to get a psych evaluation
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Supreme Court to review case about Spider-Man toy. Legal experts expect the landmark decision in Finders v. Keepers will surely come into play
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"Here's some of the stolen Lindt chocolate we've recovered," the police said cordially
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Man who pleads guilty to 10th DWI, who also has 10 previous convictions for driving on a suspended license gets prison time. Just kidding, he gets probation again
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Well, Drew's weekend is shot
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It's that time of again where politicians start sending out holiday cards. Photoshop Merry Christmas / Happy Hanukah / Krazy Kwanzaa / Festive Festivus cards that you'd like to see them mail out. LGT inspiration
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Remember the girl labeled a "spoiled brat" after successfully suing her estranged parents for $19,000 in college fees? Now she's back in court because they refuse to pay
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Since Christmas is fast approaching, here are a couple of dozen felines getting into the holiday spirit on Caturday
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Worst Christmas Gifts ever #3 made subby chuckle. #19 made subby cringe and go WTF?
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Sometimes the Internet does create a Christmas miracle
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Cool: Dad helps you spruce up your new apartment. Holy fark: Dad helps you spruce up your 80-year-old abandoned grocery store with period-accurate everything, top to bottom
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South Dakota pulls 'Don't Jerk and Drive' campaign. Actual alternative slogans? "Jerking isn't a joke" and "Think before you jerk"
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Ugly-ass baby siamang debuts at Virginia Zoo, immediately gets picked on by older sister
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| Fri December 12, 2014 |
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Tamir Rice shooting declared a homicide... which isn't surprising to anyone who knows the definition of "homicide"
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Magic mushrooms growing in Buckingham Palace gives a new meaning to your Royal Highness
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"Sir, is that a dead fetus in your car?" "It's okay, officer, I have a permit." "Move along"
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If you're the owner of the $1 million in cash found in the back of a burning truck in East Texas, the Harrison County Sheriff's Office would like to speak with you
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The Snuggie is back and worse than ever before
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Facebook post costs Airbus $5 billion. Like • Comment • Share
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Photoshop this innovative invention
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Ever wonder what music your surgeon is listening to while he cuts you open?
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Gay South African model finds out his pictures is up on an antigay billboard in Richmond, Virginia
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In the race to win most evil organization, ISIS is turning on the gas over the last furlong
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Alleged 9/11 conspirator says he "holds no grudge" against CIA for torturing him. Then adds "that's what you wanted to hear, right? Please, don't hurt me"
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Woman crashes into store, backs up, blasts through intersection, fishtails, crashes into oncoming cars, bodies flying in the air. Normally one has to go to a farmer's market to get action like that
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Nude woman casually lies down on interstate road. In Fargo. During winter. Police say she was "obviously cold"
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Middle school student spikes teachers' coffee pot with alcohol. Here's the rub: it was rubbing alcohol
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Woman whose son emerged from a brutal car crash unharmed pens open letter thanking the one true savior: Honda
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Looking for new home for pet Koala. On the plus side he is almost housebroken and eats spiders. On the debit side he kills cats and sticks shiny objects up dogs butts. Please Call
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Glasgow battered by 'thundersnow' as hundreds of people, including those who didn't start drinking at breakfast, report eerie booms during snowstorm
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Photoshop theme: Al Pacino had a meeting with Marvel Studios, photoshop what Marvel character he should portray
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Notorious "AIDS free" pastor now tricks holocaust survivors into appearing in anti Semitic film. Asshole tag not available
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Again, you ran out of your house for Christmas supplies and still forgot to grab the one thing you really needed: correct answers. It's the Fark Weird News Quiz
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Police officer disciplined for spanking German army soldier
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Japanese restaurant bans couples on Christmas Eve to stop single customers feeling lonely
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Citizen, good job of recording abuse by the Denver Police. Say, it would be a shame if the incident was erased off your tablet and we found a couple of traffic tickets that we're not going to let you bond out on
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Audit: NYC CitiBikes are poorly maintained, over budget, malfunctioning, unsafe, operated by idiots and covered in multiple layers of unidentifiable virulent filth...in other words, they fit right in
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Please note: a self-defense plea in your murder trial would be more believable if you do not collect books on 'how to murder people and get away with it'
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Not news: Doctor prescribing medical marijuana to men. News: Gynecologist prescribing medical marijuana to men
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Machine Gun America, newest tourist attaction in Orlando area, offers10 firing lanes, 50 different weapons to go full automatic on. Free instructors for kids under 10
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O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, 300 beer kegs make up thee
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British police seek violent clown in string of nightclub attacks
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Once you get over the urge to slap these parents for giving their kids stupid names you'll find a very touching story that will restore some of your faith in humanity
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How many Polish teachers does it take to strangle an epileptic student? Only one, but that's a shaky answer at best
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A stray cat got its paws on a gourmet feast courtesy of an airport delicatessen, after managing to get inside the fish counter: "The tabby was filmed by staff at Vladivostok airport helping itself to marine delicacies including squid and dried octopus"
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Man claims to work at Victoria's Secret to get women to send him pics of them in their underwear. Why didn't I think of that?
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Young girl battling cancer excited to meet bald Cinderella. Prince Charming wonders just how bald Cinderella is
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The original smart home was the Algonquin wigwam
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Third world fights the biggest pertussis outbreak in modern history and by third world we mean California
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In a study entitled "The Darwin Awards: Sex Differences in Idiotic Behaviour," researchers examined the winners of Darwin Awards over the last 20 years to determine whether men or women were more likely to perform idiotic risk taking behaviour
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Two men play a game where they point loaded guns at each other. Well clearly there's only one way to win
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Half of all children experience a traumatic event. The other half are never really let out of the house by their helicopter parents
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Ever seen the Grand Canyon filled with clouds before? Now you have
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"His bondage kit held rolls of duct tape, four pairs of handcuffs, parachute cord, nylon rope, 107 zip ties, a set of rubber gloves, two lengths of 18-inch chain and a padlock." Wow, he's prepared for anything, isn't he
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People who live in Alberta complaining about being portrayed as hillbillies, even though they totally are
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Man who lacks the ability to express emotion ponders new ways to express emotion
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Bionic arms give a man a helping hand. I love happy endings
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Put a coin on the tracks, break your body's back
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A Sunday at Atheist Church: "I'm introduced to 'Gavin,' who tells me how he went from 'extreme atheist' to agnostic with the aid of mathematical formulae"
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The wave of storms battering California might be the beginning of a rain event not seen since 1861, when it rained for 43 days. In a row. Scary tag seen building an ark
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Latest from Pope Francis: All dogs do go to heaven
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If you had "eh, a few weeks" in your "how long will it take the new 1 World Trade Center to be colonized by rats?" pool, step up and...whoa, there goes one now...claim your prize
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Photoshop this holy lighting
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Woman wakes from seizure to discover she's given birth to a tiny 1lb baby boy while just 24 weeks pregnant. Doctors give him a one in ten chance of survival. He survives (w/pics)
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This is your captain speaking, we are preparing for a selfie
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Four-year-old boy puts quarter in toy machine, receives Nazi ring. Naturally, this creates quite a fuhrer
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If you're here illegally smuggling 49 pounds of marijuana into the states, you really shouldn't be allowed to sue Border Patrol over bites you received from a K-9
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Best Buy finally gets some attention on Twitter and in the press. Just not the kind they'd hoped for
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Problem: Mom says no watching pr0n and masturbating inside the house. Solution: Masturbate outside, naked
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Cyber attack caused an oil pipeline to explode in Turkey. It's a good thing we don't have any plans for giant long pipeline of combustible fluid through a swath of the US, and no enemies that would ever try to attack us through the internet
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Tree limb used as weapon in robbery attempt. No word if the perp said "This is a stick up"
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Man claims to have killed 42 Brazilian people. Man, that's a lot murdered people
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Study finds people feel better about pornography when it's educational. GO AWAY, I'M LEARNING
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| Thu December 11, 2014 |
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Researchers say scorpion venom may help treat cancer, hope to convince other Spider-Man villains to pitch in, as well
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This might shock you, but the guy behind ISIS's Twitter account is an executive who does not want to leave his family
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Time capsule buried by Paul Revere and Sam Adams discovered in Boston. Contents include rare coins, quart of beer, wiffleball bat
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Give me a C...Give me a P ... Give me an R
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CHP cops in plain clothes try to infiltrate Oakland protests with predictable results
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Losing 50 lbs isn't really newsworthy, unless it's your wiener that loses the weight
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Family plagued by robocalls by Bank of America will receive $1 million for the inconvenience
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Doll famous for outraging feminists has finally managed to tick off black people, too
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A lot of parents are resigned to the fact that their kids are going to wind up getting extremely drunk while at college. Few however expect it to happen while they're still in nursery school
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Miss Custard in the airport with the suitcase
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Cockroach pieces found in Japanese ramen noodles. Not sure if bug or feature
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South Dakota would like to remind you to please not jerk and drive this winter
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Iron Photoshop ingredient. Photoshop this very annoying holiday visitor into a bizarre situation. LGT ingredient, but feel free to use any picture of him
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What could happen if the dog really did eat your homework? Let's ask Roscoe
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Mormons... IN SPAAAAACE
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Do not Google the insanity defense before you plead insanity. It's like using the ironic tag on a non-ironic headline. But, that would automatically make it ironic. So it could work. Insanity
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Police officer who bought a carton of eggs for a shoplifter showed up at her door with two truckloads of food, because apparently police believe even good things should be done excessively
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Headline: "21-year-old high school student jailed for gun on campus." With pic of what a 21-year-old high school student looks like, you know, because he's not a minor, because he's a 21-YEAR-OLD HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT
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Guy who invented the World Wide Web thinks access should be considered a human right. No, not that guy... the other guy who invented the internet
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Fark Food Thread: What kinds of breaded foods do you like to make? How much do your breading recipes vary depending on the meal? This ain't a ShakeNBake thread.. Show us the good stuff
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Man with 14 DUIs doesn't get out of prison in time for his 15th
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Southern California braces for severe storm and water spouts. Structures, itsy bitsy spiders, threatened
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From the "This used to be much bigger news" desk: The FBI arrests Boss of the Gambino crime family in NY in connection with the attempted extortion of an Italian businessman of the actual, legitimate, variety
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"Hey, Junior? Dad here. I'll give you Mommy's ashes if you and the rest of the family support me during this whole murder-investigation thing. Sound good?"
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Man acquitted of assault charges over bad haircut. Apparently, the judge saw the haircut and just nodded
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Here are some photos of pets in Christmas costumes because it's never too early for this shiat
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Photoshop this lazy bastard
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Autopsy finds waitress managed to accidentally kill herself by sticking her head in a dumbwaiter, as opposed to the safer option where the dumb waiter sticks his head in the waitress
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Man achieves rare 'Beaten by Steve Mason' trifecta all at one go
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In other news, hanging a dead coyote from a tree on your property is legal
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Please note: if you'd like to dispose of the idea that your small town has the most hate groups in America, you should probably get rid of the "welcome to racismland" sign
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Yes, Virginia, the Elf on the Shelf is real. And your little friends are precocious twerps
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Amboy, CA, the dead city on Route 66, is not dead
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Cat Fancy being put to sleep
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Inhaling nitrous oxide while driving? That's no laughing matter
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With jewelry, sometimes it's a very fine line between "eternal symbol of our Lord and Savior" and "dangling penis with balls"
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A cunning plan not thought all the way through: Spain passes a law allowing Spanish news outlets to charge Google a service fee anytime their publications show up on Google News results. In response Google shuts down Google News in Spain
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Police break into home and shoot woman's husband to death in drug raid. But the good news is no drugs were found. So, no harm, no foul
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Recession continues to slow U.S. birth rate, striking fear in the hearts of all of those afraid that the planet is going to run out of people
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Not brave enough to try the $1 steak sold by Dollar Tree? Don't worry, these guys did it for you
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"He died doing what he loved" ...which apparently was running from the police
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Deathbed confession sends New York family on $4.5m treasure hunt. The aristocrats
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Poultry farmer facing retaliation for exposing the secrets of "Big Poultry." It's almost as if that entire industry was afraid of their secrets being released...if only there were some sort of avian synonym we could use to describe them
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British man so desperate to get out of his backwards English village that he steals a car, a truck and a milk van in one night while desperately trying to get to London. Didn't get there
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Retirees are being fed Viagra to see if it expands, enhances, and enlarges their memories
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1. You want to go from city A to city B but there is a cheaper airfare from city A to C, with a stopover in B. 2. You book the second (cheaper) flight that has the layover of your intended destination and simply forgo the connection. 3. Profit 4. Lawsuit
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Poppies fade from Flanders fields as Europe's plant life changes. Stupid Flanders
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"Why do flamingos fly to Siberia for the winter?"
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Bottle-throwing NYC protestors can't tell the difference between a cop and a West Point cadet in his dress grays
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Dog playing with matches sets home on fire. Your dog wants a six-burner Garland and a vented range hood for Christmas
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♫ Chickity China, the Chinese chickened. You have a drum circle but the police ain't killin', build a tent village but it's all gone, with arrests on, I hope I get to make it out this one ♫
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"A woman shocked onlookers in the Afghan capital of Kabul after walking through the ultra-conservative Muslim city with her bare legs on full show" (pics)
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Fat acceptance activist with upcoming TLC show remarks, "I hate people thinking I'm lazy." Living with the parents at the age of 30 probably not helping
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"Yeah that 14 pound baby in Colorado is impressive but check out this 15 pounder here in Washington state"
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Kentucky refuses to grant tax incentives to Ken Ham's Ark Encounter because the project has evolved from a tourist attraction to a ministry
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"Grand Traverse County has one of Michigan's highest rates of schoolchildren opting out of vaccines....six times the national rate for kindergartners in 2013-14." So guess what happened next
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It's that time of year when we look back at the Internet trends of 2014 and wonder how we wasted so much time with them
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Two police officers will face no charges for deleting Internal Affairs files, because "sometimes it just happens"
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Retailers keep sending Americans catalogs because no one has said "Enough" and set up a van outside the post office, protesting junk mail and putting a bucket on the head of a mailman dummy to show how blind we are to their tyranny
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Selling your breast milk for Christmas may not be a good idea, especially to people who want to drink it straight from the container
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"Greenpeace issued an unreserved apology and shipped its director to Peru to make amends in person to the local government after its activists allegedly damaged the Nazca Lines during a publicity stunt" (pics)
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Bankers at all major banks in the U.S. to now be equipped with fanny-packs that contain emergency food rations, solar blanks, water purification tablets and flashlights with a built-in radio
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Photoshop this charging owl
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Pacific Ocean washes away two houses built at Washaway Beach. Maybe owners should have built them at Notgoinganywhere Valley instead
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British television shows to be prominently labelled 'Make Me Laugh' or 'Make Me Think' to guide viewers to their content. Design a slogan you think should be broadcast categorizing American shows
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For the first time since the last time a Clinton ran for President, Americans poll in favor of gun rights
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Convicted sex offender wins $3 million lottery prize, and you already know what state he's from, don't you?
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Man with prosthetic right hand has it stolen from his truck, now has only one left
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The next time grandpa tells you that he walked 15 miles uphill in the snow to get to school, tell him about this village in China
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"Science hacking" in Madagascar. Sure, it's cool now, until they invent a device that can detect a man coughing in Brazil
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 501: "Goin' to the Dogs" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed December 10, 2014 |
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Six ridiculous things people used to believe about vaginas
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Turns out, there is one universal language. No, it's not Esperanto, it's coffee. Coffee. Is there anything it can't do?
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A list of the 20 best new beers of 2014. Or a list of 10 new hops bombs and 10 other beers
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The U.S. patent office says "Comfyballs" is too vulgar a name for underwear, meanwhile a store called "Dick's" is allowed to continue selling balls of all sizes
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If scientists found a way to clone Jesus how would you react to the Carbon Copy Messiah?
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Woman tries to shoot neighborhood dog for chasing her cat, karma has a hand in the result
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Photoshop this flying dog
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Four out of five Americans are delusional
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"Ok, everyone, remember where we parked"
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"Oh, brains"
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Cracker Barrel waitress gets her old beater replaced with a newer beater
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Photoshop this subdued expression
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Beware the sheep in dog's clothing. Or laugh at it. Your call
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Montana legislature to female members: Calm your tits
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Before robbing a store, check your zippers. All of them
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Today's hot tip: "It's time to end inaccurate criticisms of male circumcision"
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How to turn an $82,000 mobile home into a $1.8 million mobile home
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Just in time for the holiday season, Saruman sings heavy metal Christmas carols
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Much like Congress, UPS drivers won't turn left
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Woman in English courtroom gives evidence for an hour before anyone figures out she doesn't speak a word of it
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Woman reveals she's compelled to eat a roll of toilet paper a day, even though it wipes her out
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| (Some Guy) |
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Shocking new study finds majority of children don't know that Christmas was when the Easter Bunny was nailed to a tree to tell us it was not OK to eat fish on Friday
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Neighborhood residents claim flood of raw sewage evolved from runoff from wastewater treatment facility, although facility spokespeople dispute the origin of the feces
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Queen Fabiola, Belgium's fifth queen dies at age 86. She is survived by her husband, King Fantastico and her children Prince Superbo, Princess Marvelina
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How one well intentioned law is turning the friendly skies into a petting zoo with the pigs and the peacocks and such
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The hater's guide to the 2014 Williams-Sonoma catalog. "$40 croissants? I have to fry them myself? FARK YOU, WILLIAMS-SONOMA"
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Today's story on millennials demonstrating just how self-absorbed their precious snowflake upbringing has made them courtesy of Harvard, Columbia and Georgetown law schools
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Dog figures out how to get into refrigerator. He told you he wanted steak, you should have listened
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Magician performs his greatest trick - using a Rubik's cube to get out of a speeding ticket
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Police are combing the tired, poor, and huddled masses for the man who robbed Ellis Island Casino and Brewery
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Who knew the world's most insane dictators were pickier eaters than a toddler in a bad mood?
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Missouri man executed for listening to "Maxwell's Silver Hammer" too much
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Northern Ireland outlaws dating
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"Porn lovers are pissed off at the UK's attempt to ban certain types of porn, so 500 people will simulate sex outside Parliament this Friday, hoping to break the Sexual Freedom World Record for the most people face-sitting at one time"
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Detroit emergency manager determines financial emergency will end when city exits bankruptcy. (No need to click, that's the entire article)
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US got fatter, more slothful in 2013, would try to break that record in 2014, but that's too much like work
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He didn't assault or verbally abuse anyone. But he did something so gross he's been banned from Queensland Rail for life
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Actual headline: "County: Van down by the river tethered to stump"
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USPS worker steals cash and gift cards from 2000 pieces of mail. "I was bored"
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Quantum teleportation sets new lab record of 15 miles
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Well, what ELSE would you expect at a place called Yeehaw Junction?
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Photographers are angry that Yahoo is making money off photos they put under a creative commons license allowing commercial use. With picture of what an angry photographer might look like
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Photoshop these friends out and about
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The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy, but these are new. They look human
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Orange County Public Schools is getting its own police force. Law and Order: Recess. Dun Dun
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Caption this image of a dude abiden'
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Toys are more divided by gender than they were fifty years ago, when social gender lines were much more rigid
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I'm not saying it was Greenpeace, but it was Greenpeace
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CNN has just discovered that anyone with a valid driver's license and the ability to pass a drug test can be hired as armed security guards
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| Tue December 09, 2014 |
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New study shows the most annoying airplane passenger is...you. Yes, you. In seat 34-B. STOP KICKING MY F*CKING SEAT YOU JACKBAG
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New Jersey police on the hunt for the Garden State Breast Pump Thief
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There are good ways to improve your Christmas light display, and there's the Australian way
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Folks, this is your Captain speaking. We're going to have to divert the plane, as it has come to our attention that there are more passengers on the plane than listed on the manifest
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$2 gas is the worst thing to happen to America
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Arizona man hires scuba diver to find expensive fishing lure lost in Arizona lake. Not only did he find the lure, he also found a digital camera lost in 2013, and was able to locate the camera's owner. Story still developing
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Man suspected of 10th DUI blames it on beer battered fish. What a crappie excuse
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Photoshop this bench and its occupant
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Arrests made after twin sisters got into a fight over a vibrator
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Normal person, when overcharged $4 for $50 of Chinese food: "that sucks." Harvard Business School professor and lawyer: "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD"
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Delta announces new 5-tier seat pricing because after First-class, No-class, Economy and Sit-on-the-wing classes they would like to offer - "Hobo-in-luggage class"
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I was sad because I had no shoes until I met Kevin Durant and he gave me a signed pair
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"This is what can happen when you shoot smokeless powder out of a muzzleloader designed for black powder"
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Photoshop this Official Bottle Buggy
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Some easily discredited, poorly researched schmucks claim that California's drought is not caused by global warming. And by schmucks, I mean the NOAA
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Teacher resigns after parents get upset by a creative writing story about a creative writing story
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50,000 gamers sign petition for Target to withdraw The Holy Bible from stores in response to their removal of Grand Theft Auto V. Target: Sure, but you know we don't even sell the Bible, right?
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Two people go for same parking spot. One was faster, the other "was a police officer with the power to arrest"
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Donations for little boy needing surgery after pit bull mauling equal the cost of webcam installed so dog's supporters could see him 24/7 in Sheriff Joe's jail
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Near naked woman, arrested for DUI, released on electronic home monitoring in the hopes that an ankle bracelet will be at least one piece of clothing she keeps on
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| (LBEH) |
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This holiday season Fark encourages you to help fund the invasion of America - Let's Bring Em Home
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Of all places, I did not expect to see a story (w/ pic) about great tits in The Economist
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MIT physicist intelligently designs a formula that explains the origins of life
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How to stop those annoying nuisance phone calls? Whisper into the phone quietly and say "It's done, but there's blood everywhere," give it a few seconds then hang up
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Don't worry folks, the health data collected per Obamacare will be kept private. The collection and sharing of it will be limited to only 35 federal agencies. Thirty-five. 35. Like the FTC and NASA
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Doctor who sent Ebola patient home says care was "appropriate." He probably just waved his sonic screwdriver around and hoped for a deus ex machina to solve everything
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Surprisingly, a terrorist may not admit to being a terrorist on an immigration form. Who would have guessed?
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Still no life on Mars, but there is evidence of a lake. Emerson and Palmer unavailable for comment
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The best ranked crop circles for 2014 that were made by aliens
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From asking if they wouldn't mind providing armored cars to how do you get a polecat off of your roof, the 20 strangest/stupidest requests Aussies make of their embassies while travelling abroad
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TGI Friday's Mobile Mistletoe drones draw first blood
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The CIA under Bush tortured some folks. A lot of folks
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The reason nobody ever finds discarded reindeer antlers lying about the place is because the mice always eat them up
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Days without a racially-questionable police shooting in the United States: 0
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Climate change is evolving winter in different ways in different places
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Are you an adrenaline junkie? Then you'll love a 2,000 sq. ft. pentagon-shaped hammock suspended 400 feet above the Moab Desert
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"The good news is that we've determined the cause of your mysterious stomach cramps. The other good news is that you're 39 weeks pregnant and it's a baby girl"
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True, robots could one day gain self-awareness and try to eradicate all humanity as we know it. Or they could become machines with benefits
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Scientists discover way to let you eat like a teenager again. You know, for all those Gen-Xers that want to ignore their family while texting at the dinner table
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Bar offers special "Michael Brown Shot" special. No word on whether it's served in a Hulk Hogan glass
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Marketing aside, a real steampunk condo would have no parking, be cooled by ice, and have farms on the roof
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What can brown do for you? How about give you CPR when two UPS drivers find you in cardiac arrest in a church while making a delivery
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"The F-35 has a fuel temperature threshold and may not function properly if the fuel temperature is too high, so after collaborating with other bases... we painted the {fuel} tanks white." Good thing we haven't fought any wars in deserts recently
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Subby lives within just a few houses of where this happened. Never seen so many emergency vehicles outside of a movie or a parade
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| (Some Guy) |
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What seemingly inane things make you inordinately happy?
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Photoshop this sleepy snowbird
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| (Some Guy) |
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Illinois legislature tackles the real problem with police brutality: people filming it
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I certainly didn't post that.... A child must have stolen my iPad and posted it... while I was teaching Sunday school. Uh yeah, that's the ticket
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When done correctly, lane splitting can cut down on traffic congestion. This was not one of those times
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You might want to get your eyes rechecked if a man in a canoe looks like a trophy deer
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Argument over diced onions on a breakfast sandwich at a Tim Horton's ended when the angry customer threw a snake at the cashier
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Woman divorces man in 1992. Man starts a company in 1995 that is now worth over £100 million. Woman decides to sue man for some of that money
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| Mon December 08, 2014 |
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Two criminal masterminds decide the best place to discuss their alibi is the backseat of a patrol car with a camera inside it
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Police investigating photo of cop snoozing in patrol car. No word on whether they are investigating the cop or the person who posted the picture on Facebook
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A wing and a prayer
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The next big breakthrough in airplane cabin technology is: A) High Definition Video B) Full spectrum audio or C) The Soarigami armrest divider
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Doe, a deer. A female deer. That robocopped her way through the front door and trashed the bathroom
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Volunteer turned away from Children's Hospital fundraiser for not not wearing pants
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Photoshop this artistic licker
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Private jet attempting to land at a small suburban MD airport makes a housecall instead
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Fark NotNewsletter #16: The gift that keeps on giving
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"If you commit a crime in Russia, you can expect to be chased by Dancer or Prancer or even Rudolph: Police have been asking for a fleet of reindeer since 2012, and it looks like they are finally getting their wish"
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PIR, 99, NIFOC, TDTM, GYPO, Oh crap, PIR, 9, POS, gotta go bye
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"We were a bit afraid, but we sucked it up and did it because of the drought," says farmer whose fun new side job is collecting tarantulas
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Walgreens pulls Hannukah wrapping paper because SURPRISE SWASTIKAS
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Daughter of Korean Air boss kicks chief flight attendant off plane for mishandling his nuts
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New York's attorney general has asked the governor for the power to investigate and prosecute all killings of unarmed civilians at the hands of the police, so HIS office can fail to indict rather than the local DA's
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The failed rescue of US hostage may have been because the SEAL team forgot to bring some steaks for the ISIS guard dogs
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| (Some Guy) |
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CDC recommends everyone still get a mind control shot even though it won't protect against the flu this year
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Your move, Godzilla
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Study proves that high heels make women, and men, weak in the knees
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Drop your socks and grab your 'shops; it's this week's Mugshot Roundup
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Egyptian police arrest 25 for Muslim brotherhood
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Photoshop this open gesture
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Time magazine's "Person of the Year" to be Ferguson protestors, or Taylor Swift
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Passive aggressive gifts for kids whose parents you hate. Heh heh heh. Oops, I mean Ho ho ho
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Saying Pluto isn't a planet is pretty much the same as telling dinosaur experts that Jurassic Park could happen
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Ah, the old: "No your honor, I had sex with her corpse *after* I killed her" defense to avoid the death penalty... Wait, that worked?
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Clemson frat dismayed its 'Cripmas' party, with white students in bandanas and fake thug tattoos throwing gang signs, was not seen as the inclusive effort to understand the experience of modern young black urban males that it was meant to be
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Risk of nuclear war is rising due to "insecure stockpiles." Great, we've reached the teenage years of the nuclear era
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Eight critically injured and three dead after someone crashed into a bear
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A former St. Louis cop speaks about the dysfunction he encountered
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This is your captain speaking, we're just about to touchdown in London. If you look to your right you can see Parliament and if you look to your left you'll see an OMFG DRONE
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Did you hear the one about the quadruple amputee who became a double amputee?
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Yes, your new $1.2 million McLaren P1 will depreciate as soon as you drive it off the lot. Even more so if you crash it on the same day
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New research on Vikings finds that they didn't do much actual raping and pillaging and when they did get in their longboats to go to another country, it was for a family vacation with the wives and kids
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Catholic school must turn to Satan in order to stay open. Wait, I'm sorry. Santa. But either way, they've had to turn to a pagan figure in order to obtain hope
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Three bears find an accident that's just right, living in fear of the Dipping Dots mafia, and why your mom beats you in video games: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/30 - 12/6
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LA fire closes parts of two freeways. Garner protests closed down the rest and most of Oakland
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"Scientists have taken an important step towards the possibility of creating synthetic life with the development of a form of artificial evolution in a simple chemistry set - without the use of DNA"
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