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Sun November 09, 2014
(The Local)
 
 
 
Bed bugs would like to remind us that although they are no fancy micro-killer that makes you bleed out of all your orifices like Ebola, they can be pretty nasty and persistent as well
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
The thin bro line: Fraternity says it has no idea how the GHB got into a bowl of punch at their party
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Yes, I would like the aisle seat, please
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Those random 52 facts you know? Yeah, about those
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Your prized collectible piece of the Berlin Wall is now worth $13, less Paypal and eBay hosting fees
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spousal backing
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
More people arrested in Fort Lauderdale for the heinous crime of feeding the homeless. Reports of a guy with seven loaves and seven fishes among those arrested have been unsubstantiated
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"When I'm in the water, I'm thinking what he's thinking; he's thinking what I'm thinking. I think the alligator feels peace"
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you were busted moving large amounts of heroin in the DC area recently the FBI would like a word with you...and it's all good, seriously, no seriously, it's all good
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Austrians believe they are at the center of the new Europe. This is not a repeat from 1938
source: thelocal.at   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
25th Anniversary of the Fall of Berlin Wall. Where were you when the wall fell?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
There's a cop in Red Bank TN who will arrest you for DUI if you blow a 0.0. He don't care if he thinks you're drunk, it's an arrrestin. People in Chattanooga have learned to stay out of Red Bank for this and other reasons
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
♫ Help, I need somebody. Help, not just anybody. Help, you know I need someone. Help ♫
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Remain calm, all is well. 18,000 nurses prepare to go on strike regarding ebola preparedness
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Those thieves that broke into that columnist's car, the ones police were too busy to pursue? Of course they turned out to be on the state's most wanted list
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this triangulation
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Dallas is Ebola free. OR IS IT?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to ... me not getting delicious food"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Looking back 25 years, it wasn't nuclear tipped weapons, columns of tanks or spies but a simple trip to a Houston area grocery store that made the Soviet hierarchy realize that European style communism was a lost cause
source: blog.chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Why do some high schools have 'mean girls' and others don't? This is not clique bait
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Inventor of CorningWare has died in New York. His wake will feature lots and lots of casseroles
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Dollar store princess wand contains suicidal demon bonus image. Yeah, some people have a wee bit of a problem with that
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New Jersey cops use Donald Duck to ticket people for failure to yield. This shameful display finally ends Donald's community service for his indecent exposure conviction due to his 70-year lack of pants
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
Dish Network CEO on Turner pulling CNN: "Unless they find the plane, it's pretty much a non-issue." Subby is a Dish customer and agrees completely
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
"The upcoming cold snap is not a polar vortex. The polar vortex is something that's always been around, but it gained legs last winter as a new, scary-sounding way to describe cold weather on social media"
source: thevane.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Burrito. New Hotness: Croritto
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Because it's been recorded on an iPhone, the latest sighting of the Loch Ness Monster is for reals this time. Yeppars
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Colossal)
 
 
 
Give a hoot: Photoshop this looming owl
source: thisiscolossal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
The World Chess Championships has it all: A male model, alien encounters and the soap opera of the game's elite
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
If the question is "Can you get a divorce in Maryland in 30 days and have all the records sealed?" the answer is yes, if you are International Man of Mystery Mayo Shattuck III
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Chicago)
 
 
 
Bowling alley worker's life was not spared
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
German firefighters don gas masks and biohazard suits to rescue morbidly obese man, who for five years couldn't even wash himself with a rag on a stick
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. Two hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by a farker. Come celebrate with us
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Fire destroys MacArthur Park bookstore. With Amazon Prime, this fire is free
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photography Is Not A Crime)
 
 
 
Cop: "I want to search your car." Suspect: "Get a warrant." Cop: *smacks suspect upside the head*
source: photographyisnotacrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Friends and family are shocked, SHOCKED that a woman driving to work was hit by a train at a crossing with no crossing arms or lights. "I mean, it takes two seconds, you know, to not be looking and someone loses a life, like today"
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 08, 2014
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana Nana-nana BAT JAM
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"This is the craziest thing I've ever seen in New York, Even weirder than when Kiefer Sutherland followed me for a block in the West Village asking me if I wanted to do shots with him. Like any New Yorker, I kept walking"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police Officers of the year candidates are being praised after responding to a report of a 86-year-old woman who was robbed while grocery shopping at Target and going beyond the call of duty by doing her shopping and paying with their own money
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for eating pie and drinking wine in grocery store, not knowing what type of wine goes well with Hostess products
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Latest Completely Authentic And True™ UFO abduction footage teleported from the furthest reaches of the North Dakota galaxy
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mule in a manhole
source: cdn3.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
A US airstrike may or may not have taken out the head of ISIS along some of its other top leaders
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Colorado State student steals ambulance, goes on joy ride, crashes ambulance, gets tasered by police, masturbates in the police station. Police blame it on bad molly, but the kid was obviously just gluten intolerant
source: theconcourse.deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Veteran U.S. diplomat and Pakistan expert investigated for being a spy. Your conspiracy-theory loving uncle and congressional Republicans will love this
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
In more important news, Mikhail Gorbachev is still alive
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Seems like just the level headed kind of person you'd want as a Manhattan prosecutor. One that drunkenly flies off the handle and goes apesh*t on a woman in a bar at 2am
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is over after Kaley the service dog has been returned to her owner after being stolen from her car 3 months ago. "She's going to need a lot of care. Oh my God is a miracle"
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Speed demon who raced around Manhattan and gave the NYPD the speed finger by fleeing to Canada takes it one further with "catch me if you can" attitude
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wheat tons drop to 33.3 million metric, which is bad news for lovers of pasta and Klingon blood pie
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Unexplained earthquake "swarm" within Sheldon National Wildlife Refuge in Nevada can mean but one thing... the antelope have the Bomb
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
ISIS fighters to their camp chefs: What's for lunch today? Chefs: Death delivered to you with a side of sneaky smarts from us
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Well, a house selling for a record $195 million should have a 27-car garage. Why do you ask?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this East Side selfie
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Panama City News Herald)
 
 
 
Florida man accused of stealing fruit from tangerine trees, marmalade skies
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Casper Star-Tribune)
 
 
 
When you return from taking out the garbage in Casper, Wyoming it's not unusual to find a woman on your couch swigging whiskey and looking for a hug
source: trib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Russians, who may or may not have been drunk at the time, claim mysterious heart-shaped pothole is 'flaming heart of Jesus' and want to turn the 3ft wide road crater into a holy site and change the name of the street (pic)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The god of the lobsters gets sold to the highest bidder at auction for £60,000. Cthulhu inconsolable for friend
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Meth lab busts in the midwest have plunged, but only because tweakers have stopped making their own because it's cheaper and easier to buy the Mexican meth that the states are drowning in
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
De Beers responds to Farkers claiming to be too uppity to buy rocks at million$ per ounce that are mined by child slaves: We still have China, and your tax breaks will support us for decades where Communists won't
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Photographer captures Northern Lights, Milky Way and erupting volcano - in one photo. Yeah, landscape photography is now officially done
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Bored waiting for the collapse of society? Fapping in your survival bunker getting old? Well fear not Patriot, we have just what your paranoid, delusional insanity needs. It's the "ISIS hunting kit and it can be yours for only $470 Act NOW
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Cancer patient dies hours after her family brings the horse she raised from a foal 25 years ago to her hospital bed. This one is pretty thick from all the dust (pic)
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Remember those religious idiots who thought it would be a good idea to go to North Korea and start preaching the gospel there? Sadly, North Korea has finally given them back
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Do you pack your kid's lunch? Way to feed your offspring unhealthy swill, you child abuser
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
RAF pilot "denies" using his jet to draw a giant penis vapor trail in sky (w/ pic of what is clearly a giant penis vapor trail in sky)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pope demotes outspoken conservative American cardinal, presumably to sparrow
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
A great way to start your career in law enforcement is at a bar in Hoboken. Your very short career
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
What's behind all the exploding coffee tables, TVs and glass shower doors?
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
"Woo Woo, this is my first shower after spending all that time in the chimney. Woo Woo" (Some Not safe for work content on page)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Before you marry somebody, you need to sit down and come to an agreement over how often the bedsheets will get changed and if you're allowed to go to bed without first showering
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Facebook just made it easier to ignore friend requests from your mom
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Leave it to the bison to ruin the Grand Canyon for the rest of us
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Casey Kasem's body is currently rotting away in Norway. Now back to the countdown
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this oldtimer
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Three senior cats in good health - two are 20 years old and one is 25 - are in need of a new home after their owner gave them up because they were "too old." Sounds like a job for Caturday
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
The maker of Super Pretzels and ICEEs has reached a deal with Nabisco to make Oreo Churros. Are Triscuit funnel cakes far behind?
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
My name is Rory Gray. You killed my father. Prepare to receive my letter of apology and several thousand dollars
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Heathrow Airport installs a "Scent Globe" which gives travelers a quick blast of local smells from Brazil, China, Japan, South Africa or Thailand. Maude approves
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
British police foil plot to assassinate the Queen. Authorities are questioning Reggie Jackson as we speak
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Parents driven into a hysterical PANIC after a popular baby wipe tweaks its formula and the wipes smell different
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Grand opening of L L Bean store surprises onlookers when owl attacks hawk. Folks, you cannot imagine the planning behind this sort of viral marketing
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 07, 2014
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome back to the Fark Weird News Quiz, with 21% less nutritional value than the BBC News Quiz, but nearly double the ABV
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Finally, something to wash down those Mountain Dew flavored Doritos
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 Chicago)
 
 
 
Holy fark. Airline manages tricky high winds landing at O'Hare. With video
source: abc7chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
University releases app to calculate your BAC based on exact number and types of drinks you've had, because drunk students have no problems remembering that information
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
In some places you can get your dog fixed for free. In Florida, you can get your husband fixed for free
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Mining disaster in Thailand. No word on how many trapped
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
♫ JI-HAAAAD boat . . soon will be making another run ♪
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby sea otter rescued off shores of California, now being cared for by Shedd's Aquarium in Chicago (w/ ugly-ass pics)
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Calling the tooth fairy...we have a problem here
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this small submarine
source: dokwar.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Next time just don't bring your gravity bong to high school
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Harold Camping spent $100 million to tell people the world was going to end on May 21st, 2011. It didn't
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
While no man is an island there's nothing that says you can't build your own out of trash
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
The Nopiest Nope to ever Nope
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Cross-eyed collie having trouble finding a home, deciding which crotch to sniff
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Ah, the natural apple: delicious, nutritious, and engineered to last
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitsap Sun)
 
 
 
72-year-old woman was known to have wielded a Samurai sword in past altercations, but it was the roundhouse kick at a police officer that got her tased
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Toys 'R' Us to open at 5:00 PM on Thanksgiving day so you can go buy stuff for your kids instead of spending a holiday with them
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
How to de-jargonify health info online, from epistaxis to pyrexia. Not included: the true purpose of the machine that goes bing
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Seventy year-old man found dead inside his Mount Dora home. Police suspect a fox known as Swiper may be responsible
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Benjy the gay bull to be slaughtered after farmer finally admits Benjy is more interested in other bulls than in heifers. "The farmer thought he might have been a discreet chappie who didn't want to be doing the business in public"
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
What's worse than a boatload of West Africans with fever landing on a beach? A boatload of West Africans with fever landing on a beach covered in old, fat, naked white guys (Not safe for work)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Sheriff says he's never had any problems at the AX MURDER HOUSE before
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Man rents entire movie theater and creates 12-minute short film to precede live marriage proposal to his girlfriend, who thought she was simply going out to see Lupin III with him. Works every time
source: ajw.asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Farker Meet-Up TONIGHT - Santa Monica (TRiP, 2101 Lincoln) - Beer Tasting & Live Music
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pumpkin feeding
source: l1.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Playboy)
 
 
 
Louisville bar scores a year's worth of rare Pappy Van Winkle bourbon. Uses it all in slightly less rare Jell-O shots
source: playboy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Behold, the first man in history able to say "Yeah, my space ship exploded, but I'm all right"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
Headline: Minimum Wage Workers Earn Less Money
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You know how sometimes you pass out while driving a Porsche with a trunk full of cocaine and then your car ends up wedged behind a truck that then pulls you for six miles? This is exactly like that
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A "SEAL source" tells the Daily Fail that the guy claiming to have compromised and put to a permanent end Osama bin Laden may, get this ... be lying
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Every family has its own traditions. Death by gunfire shouldn't be one of them
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Did you ever get the sneaking suspicion that the controller for your game console was designed by a Nazi?
source: foxtrotalpha.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Texas is now certified Ebola free
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Denmark and the United States have become major suppliers of sperm to British women. Giggity
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
And the only US states to be hit by a hurricane this year will be North Carolina, Hawaii, ... Arizona and ... Alaska? Whaaa?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You may think the Islamic State is no threat to the world outside the Middle East, but now they have cyber-missiles. CYBER MISSILES
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Homeless woman builds herself a home. In a perfect world that would be a happy ending but in the real world the government seizes it and fines her $10k
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Plaintiff is ... not black, gay, Christian or HIV positive and was unaware that defendant was creating websites that focused on such traits that would include his profile, thus indicating that he was all of these things and more"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Airbag maker hid test results, presumably behind the wheel
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Parents-of-the-Year award goes to this couple, who went car shopping, bought pizza and took a nap while their young son lay dying
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Police pepper spray students during demonstration. Which makes sense when it's college students protesting, not so much when it's kindergarteners
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
With all the focus on giving marijuana candy to kids, it's nice to see a restaurant just serving kids alcohol
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Photoshop contest: Fark's Facebook and Twitter pages need new cover/header images with the updated dimensions for both. Rules in thread
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Institute of Sexology (don't laugh, it's a real place) builds an Orgasmatron. And you can try it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Some couples like to be alone on their wedding night, then there are the ones who just want a threesome with a teenager
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Latvian foreign minister proudly announces he is gay. Doom blames Richards for this
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There's a scientific reason why you look so weird in all your selfies
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMTV Omaha)
 
 
 
Dispatcher; "911, what's your emergency?" Caller: "Would you like to go out on a date? Oh, and are you into handcuffs?"
source: jrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Dictators, palaces, ebola, student debt and buying a better sports team. Oh my
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Woman finds intruder eating cookie dough, says this sort of thing can really take its toll on a house
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
After breaking into a business, two burglars had the perfect getaway vehicle ready: a boat. Firing shots from the vessel, they began their escape. One little problem. The boat was on a trailer. With bonus mugshots of The Pirates of Jefferson County
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
UFO over Reyðarfjörður? Ĭt's mØrƎ lȈĶỀĻỸ ṰḦẪƝ ỸǬỪ ŤĤÎṊǨ
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
"I am sorry to inform you that my client does not hire Irish people due to the alcoholism nature of your kind"
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
University decides that the best way to curb sexual assaults on campus is to make all fraternities co-ed
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
PUA forced to POQ
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
US Army decides to just go with "y'all"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Your car doesn't start. Do you: a) check the car battery, b) check the fuel, or c) smash it up with a pickaxe?
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leftward looking jet jock
source: airchive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Your MONTHLY L.A. FARKER MEET-UP happens FRIDAY, NOV. 7th @ TRiP SANTA MONICA, ~8:00-ish
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Add "buffalo" to the list of airplane hazards
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
News: Woman is forced into a car and abducted. Good news: She's found alive soon afterward. Fark: Because her kidnapper forgot he had a GPS tracking device in his car. "We called the dealership and within five minutes they had the location"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
The Beatles never existed and Obama can control the weather: the internet's craziest conspiracy theories (deslidefied for your convenience)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
West L.A. monthly Farker meet-up this Friday, 11/7, in Santa Monica - now with 100% more BEER TASTING added
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Some of the best photos from Bonfire Night in the UK, including a burning effigy of Vladimir Putin in a mankini. If any bonfire could spark WWIII, it's this one
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
DHS quietly announces that we're totally hosed
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Jet fuel prices are falling precipitously, just in time for holiday travelers to pay top-dollar for airfare, because fark you, that's why
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Man develops a bullet that fires without destroying a plastic 3D printed gun, proving that American ingenuity will stop at absolutely nothing to shoot things dead
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
NYC subway performers collaborate to form first "Wi-Fi Orchestra," complete with Theremin and electric saw ... and it's pretty awesome
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 06, 2014
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Wearing a shirt that says you love meth when you get busted for trafficking meth makes you look really guilty
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tired of boring holiday cruises? Increase in Muslim extremist jihadis boarding Turkey-bound cruise liners should make idle conversations on lido deck quite a bit more interesting
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Linguist claims use of metaphors like "battle" or "fight" with cancer harmful for some patients. Article doesn't say whether he prefers "playdate" or "prom-night" with cancer
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Teen claims he was pulled into a fantasy world to fight goblins, resulting in foster brother's death. David Bowie held for questioning
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
U.S. Army decides to go retro in what they call certain personnel
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ay-up blokes, hold my pint and watch this
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Intruder at large. Suspected of taking a shower and feeding children. Believed to be in Pebble Beach
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Jogging is good for your health and for the environment. Unless you jog in front of a bus, although since you stop consuming natural resources for good and the bus has to stop for a while, I guess it's still good for the environment
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Three people shot in one week by toddlers armed with guns. Clearly, we need tough new laws to deal with the toddler threat
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry whatever
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Seattle man finally finds use for all those annoying political flyers
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Future Structure)
 
 
 
Why the FCC should drop its new Net Neutrality plan. Read before Comcast/Time Warner make loading the site impossible
source: futurestructure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Roommate ate my good bread and replaced it with crap so I drank all his good beer and replaced it with Natural Light
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Convenience store employee tries to stop intoxicated man from driving, shoots him dead, saves him from a horrible death on the road
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Pot may not be legal yet in New York City, but the NYPD will no longer try to sell it to you
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Body of film executive Gavin Smith has been found in Angeles National Forest. Police sources believe foul play involved, have not yet ruled out his role in Flicka 2 as a possible motive
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Woman ends up in jail, 13-year-old daughter in juvenile court after birthday-party brawl over hot wings. Mmmmmmm, hot wings
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dover Express)
 
 
 
German drug mule Charles Imoh caught in Britain with an entire kilo of coke in his gut. That's a lot of coke, IMHO
source: dover-express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
Man who chopped up his mother in her San Diego home found sane
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mommy, where's my Rectum? Look, right there, it's right there, by your Anus
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Real Simple)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Are you ready for Thanksgiving? Working your magic on your classic favorites or trying something new? Share your recipes and help your Farkers have a gluttonous good time
source: realsimple.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Man buys foreclosure, discovers why the old lady who owned the place suddenly stopped paying her bills
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
This just in: Airports will be crowded on Thanksgiving Holiday
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Girl, seven, injured as police officer fires gun during a visit for winners of a coloring competition. Difficulty: Not the United States
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"The destructive side of 'Gangnam Style.'" We warned you that Psy was history's greatest monster, but would you listen?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Whiskey: 1. School shootings: Uhh, umm, well...Whiskey: 1. Good job whiskey
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass newborn cheetah cubs explore their new home at the San Diego Zoo
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British couple claim they are real vampires that sleep all day, drink blood, and pose for Daily Mail photos in the bright sun
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mystical cruise
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
Police called to pawn shop in downtown Buffalo to appraise value of hostages inside
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Inmate on death row sticks it to the man
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Life expectancy for Australian men rises above 80 for first time in early indication that nature in Australia is gradually losing
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
In one corner, we have a mother with an annoying, screaming toddler. In the other corner, we have an over-opinionated 20-something hipster who repeatedly confronts strangers. You've probably already guessed what happens next
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Pastor accuses Starbucks of flavoring its coffee with semen of 'sodomites'
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Amanda Knox goes from headlines to bylines
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Possibly motivated by anger left over from that time he went 0-for-5 against the Red Sox, O'Neill named as Seal Team Six member who killed bin Laden
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Coolest calendar for 2015 features a post-Apocalyptic Toronto, presumably with zombies wandering the rubble searching for brains but only if it wouldn't be any trouble, eh?
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian WWI soldier's remains identified after nine decades, thanks to a lock of his girlfriend's hair. Lest we forget
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After 70 years, a rare John Steinbeck novel related to World War II finally gets published
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Authorities in Pennsylvania are looking for a couple who allegedly stole $1,200 worth of teeth whitener from a Target store." Their smiles must be blinding by now (pics)
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Pregnant British women could face fines or a criminal record for eating cheese or sushi
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
ACME finally pays tribute to their best customer
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Why we listen to sad music when we're miserable to try and cheer ourselves up
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Wildlife official kills moose for being too friendly, posing for photographs
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Tonight on "Corvette Restoration" - The 2009 sinkhole Corvette
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The hottest shows in Cuba right now are North Korean soap operas
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Now that melting sea ice is opening up the fabled Northwest Passage, it was only a matter of time before cruise ships start touring there
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
The only people ISIS aren't bothering in the Middle East are the cannabis farmers of Lebanon, who are armed to the teeth, crazy and who aren't about to let a filthy band of fundamentalist Muslim halfwits interfere with their business
source: news.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's that time of the year when somebody comes up with ways to make Thanksgiving dinner healthier and the rest of us laugh at the recipes
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When I published a book intending to get the facts out about when we killed Bin Laden, I never meant to share any facts about the mission when we killed Bin Laden, and my lawyers should have told me not to...so I am suing them
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Extraterrestrial potato photobombs International Space Station
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Tired of the violence associated with the Baltimore Ravens, 47-year old ex-cheerleader tries to spread the love, one 15-year-old boy at a time
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Intrepid reporter interviews 40 people to find out why they spend so much time reading Fark instead of working
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
My Little Pony might soon join the ranks of the cardboard box and the stick
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Gasoline is now cheaper than milk, but not as refreshing in your morning cereal
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Who hasn't thought about living the dream and running over the jerk who stole your parking spot at Walmart?
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Well known Russian actor and outspoken critic of Putin found dead in his Moscow home from an apparent suicide of 15 gunshot wounds to the back of the head
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bears now forming themselves into basketball teams to attack groups of hunters in the deep wilderness. Uh-oh
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
One day after the midterm elections it comes out that the number of people under "Active Monitoring" for Ebola in NYC triples to 357
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
"The FCC just leaked their net neutrality proposal - and it's TERRIBLE. After nearly 4 million people spoke out demanding strong rules against censorship, throttling, and discrimination, the FCC is pushing rules that would explicitly allow that"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: For the duration of our marriage, all my husband has focused on is 'writing his screenplay.' Said screenplay has never materialized, and it's become a metaphor for our marriage. Can I divorce him without remorse?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Always be cautious when the woman you've been chatting with on the internet wants to meet you in person for the first time in an Arby's parking lot
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Photoshop smokey the smoker
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Technician Online)
 
 
 
Southerners don't have an accent. You do. And there's a very good reason that word "y'all" exists: English does not have a good non-gendered second person pronoun (note that "you guys" implies the masculine gender)
source: technicianonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Monkey weddings are a thing now
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The toys you give your children this Christmas will have more computer power than the rockets used in the first mission to the moon
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
If you're in your twenties, you should quit your job and use the job market as a laboratory
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Amazon tests taxi delivery for packages. Apparently everything is fare game
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Omaha, the Hipster capital of the Midwest, has just discovered poutine
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
The seven most bizarre things kids found in their Halloween candy this year
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
4chan murder suspect David Kalac arrested in Oregon
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Planes, Trains, and Automobiles 2
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 05, 2014
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Woman awarded $140,000 compensation after being run over by her own dog
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The secret to California's successful prison recidivism rate? A prison dairy, where inmates learn how to milk cows and pasteurize the product
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
"If those measures don't work, authorities are considering installing a urinal near the palace that rises out of the ground at night and sinks back below the sidewalk during the day"
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
You would think the world has gotten over that whole 'burn the witches at the stake' thing by now, but you'd be wrong
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The first polar vortex of the winter will be here from Canada any day now
source: thevane.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Chinese factory increasing production of Ebola suits, ensuring medical professionals remain safe until the lead poisoning kicks in
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
With all corporate fraud eliminated, feds are now applying Enron-inspired laws to fishermen, meaning you'll face 20 years in prison for throwing back an undersized fish
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Congress edits Wayne Gretzky's Wikipedia bio because there's nothing better to do
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
According to CNN, there is a plot to the Alex from Target saga
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop these beach sentinels
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Wow, that satellite image of Kowloon Harbor really tied the room together
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
"You probably shouldn't wear your Google Glasses while you drive" according to ophthalmologist who almost crashed his car while wearing them
source: wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
The son also rises as a suspect in the murders of a couple found on Heming Way
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gazette)
 
 
 
Sick of ISIS, Ebola, the new Senate? Here are some people knitting sweaters for cold trees
source: thegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Runner's World)
 
 
 
44-year-old mother of six shatters the beer mile world record. "I think learning how to get the burp out more before you get to that next beer would probably help"
source: runnersworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It turns out the reason that Iran "has no homosexuals" is because they are forced to get gender reassignment surgery
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
The least offensive thing about these tweets is the mental image of Artie Lange masturbating
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rescue effort
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What kind of house will $750K buy you? In most of middle America, a mansion; in Detroit it might buy you the whole block. In San Francisco, it would be ALMOST enough to buy this 330-square foot, 100-year-old "earthquake shack"
source: homes.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cleveland's traffic cameras join river fires and Art Modell in the land of unpleasant memories
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Ok, but I'm still not drinking it with lime and salt
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Elite Daily)
 
 
 
The internet loses its collective mind over Benedict Cumberbatch's old school engagement announcement
source: elitedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
And now, a word on getting high, brought to you by BongBong
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
"We had been coming across references to 'Facebook Murder' in the media over the past few years but there had been no research. We wanted to see whether homicides in which Facebook was involved were any different to other homicides"
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Chicago)
 
 
 
The parents of a 19-year-old boy are devastated after they say their son died unexpectedly after taking just one Marijuana
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
Not getting a flu shot? That's a firing
source: wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If Jesus were a porn star, what would be some good names for the films he'd appear in?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Portland Oregon is 150 square miles in size, and has about 4300 sex offenders. Reporters are shocked, shocked, after "investigative report" reveals that many of them live within one mile of a school bus stop. Math, how does it work?
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Don't wake up a sleeping drunk, he may attack everyone in his sight
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
So using a photo of one of the 9/11 masterminds in my advert isn't a good move then?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
People might say that 4chan is a wretched hive of scum and villainy, but at least they weren't killing people. Until now
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Tom Brokaw's "red alert" ringtone goes off on air (with video)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zenfs images)
 
 
 
Caption this pointed moment
source: media.zenfs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this microscopic mystery
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man clearly not trying to impress a date or on a low-carb diet eats 95 meals at Olive Garden in 6 weeks using $100 'Pasta Pass' "He has received $1,510 worth of food so far"
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When ordering wine at a restaurant, make sure the waiter understands you want the $37.50 bottle, not the $3,750 bottle
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Thanks to the crappy economy, you can have a roommate when you're in your 40s and nobody thinks it's odd
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
Ramen lasagna, struggle food of choice for broke food bloggers
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVUE Austin)
 
 
 
Texas teacher and part-time peace officer attacks school bullying problem by telling students that shooters are roaming the halls to hunt and kill bullies first. "If y'all have ever bullied somebody else, you're going to be the first ones to go"
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
New book describes Great Escape that never made Hollywood: Allied POWs who "after repeated failures with tunnels" jumped over the Nazi fence using ladders cleverly disguised as bookshelves
source: scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 04, 2014
(Mashable)
 
 
 
Air in China is so polluted that they recently had a fashion show featuring couture face masks
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's a dangerous hard job to do but someone has to do it. Sooooo... who wants to be a kitten cuddler in Newcastle?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Fort Lauderdale cops clean streets from dangerous criminal elements...like 90-year-old volunteer workers giving out food to homeless people
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
If you try to vote in Florida, child molesters will kidnap your kids
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Forget happy feet. This baby penguin has happy wheels. Vroom vroom
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
AP and other press outlets decide that not reporting suspected Ebola cases is the best way to keep the public infor .. uh ... calm. You can't handle the truth
source: washingtonsblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
You're already making a political statement by voting. You don't need to enhance it by bringing a gun along to the polls
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Keeper of America's master clock: "But what time really is, is a question that I can't answer for you"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Without central heating during winter, Japanese houses feature increased CPD (cat population density) in front of space heaters
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things. Their Tops are made of rubber, their bottoms are made out of OH GOD OH GOD DON'T STOP OH GOD
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
The wealthy in Maine have asked firefighters not to use that cheap, dirty water if their house catches fire
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gannett)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely cricketer
source: gannett-cdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Will the Democrats lose the Senate? Will Republicans snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? Can we finally shut up about Scott Brown? This is your 2014 Mid-Term election thread
source: nytimes.comhttp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Everybody thinks those Rob Lowe DirecTV ads are hilarious. Except for people who suffer from painfully shy bladders
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Not News: Teacher takes eleven students on a field trip. Fark: In her Honda Accord
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
For some, you still get medals in the NYC Marathon even if you don't get to cross the finish line .. maybe some from your emergency surgery or your boyfriend after he proposes to you ...yeah pass the dust collectors
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Has anyone heard from Santa lately?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Thousands of Ebola patients in Sierra Leone break quarantine to search for food, brains
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
From keg-stands and lock-ins, to whores and slips of the tongue. No, it's not the victory party at Mitch McConnell's pad, this is your "Best and Worst" awards for Election 2014. May we all weep for America
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pillar of the community
source: a57.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Alex from Target has been identified and it seems his girlfriend is none too happy with his 500,000 new female fans
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
If you love someone, you should set them free. Preferably not by throwing them off a bridge, however
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cosmopolitan)
 
 
 
The 13 funniest mugshots of people in costume is actually 12, plus an infamous huffer
source: cosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
When it comes to sexual fantasies, what's "normal"? Subby will be waiting over here with his handcuffs and a chicken outfit
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Pediatrician to parents: Vaccinate your kids - or get out of my office
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Man's drug test urine sample comes back negative for drugs, positive for pregnancy, fraud
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pro Football Mock)
 
 
 
"I will NEVER impose my religious beliefs on my children," says guy dressing baby in Chicago Bears onesie
source: profootballmock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
As you go to the polls this morning to vote Democrat and stop the Republican War on Women, heed the words of Jessica Valenti: "To fix the wage gap, let's pay men less"
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(CBS 21 Harrisburg)
 
 
 
How do you burn 20,000 chicken nuggets? All at once of course
source: local21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
There are bad breakups, and there's "my ex's mother tried to hire a hit man to feed me to alligators" bad breakups
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Tonight on "How I met your father," woman falls in love with her sperm donor
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
"This might or might not be Jonah Hill, but I will let this man touch my dog"
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
97-year-old gets US citizenship is 'honored' to vote for the first time. It's stories like this that make you proud to be part of the most democratic--wait, she voted for WHO? BURN HER
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Fake university founder sentenced to 16 years for fraud, probably would have gotten away with it if she had a football team
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Can you pass the background test to own -- I mean, live with -- a golden retriever?
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Things to worry about when buying the home of your dreams: Neighborhood, schools, avocado-green appliances, whether it used to be a meth lab
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Well the company you work for may not give you your job back because you quit after being harassed for posing for Playgirl
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Still wondering why your 2013 Hyundai never gets the estimated miles per gallon? Well, about that
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Here's a mug shot that will stick with you. Especially if you're a magnet
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War on the Rocks)
 
 
 
The ISIS pitch: Kick Crusader butt with your homies in Iraq and Syria, laugh while former Syrian soldiers dig their own graves, lop the heads off of terrified Jews, collect war booty, and relax in your free time with an endless supply of sex slaves
source: warontherocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
We put our camo ice cream down for one minute and now we can't find it anywhere
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Here are 4 steps to reducing and eliminating procrastination for you to bookmark and read later
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Extreme Tech)
 
 
 
If you purchased a Pentium 4 processor between 2000 and 2002, Intel owes you a $15 check
source: extremetech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Usually a man is humbled after he gets arrested for a DWI. Usually
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
CNBC money market reporter has his mind boggled from learning that Ireland is a separate country to the UK and uses a different currency
source: i100.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Surgeon performs life-saving operation on OB who delivered him 45 years earlier
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
"The fate of Democracy lies in the hands of a corps of poorly trained retirees. What could possibly go wrong?"
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
ABC didn't anticipate parents letting their children watch Scandal after It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown; therefore, the network opened Scandal with a sex scene and is now trying to justify their programming choice
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The director of US naval intelligence has not been able to view classified information for a year because of a pending investigation, says this newspaper article using leaked information
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
New United Nations study says humans must stop using fossil fuels by the year 2100, which is great news for all of us reading this because none of us will live that long so we don't have to worry about it
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bonsai tree planter/sculpture thingee
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
There is not a law called 'adverse possession' that allows a person to enter a home at free will after not observing anyone going in or out of it for two days, despite what the homeless man tries to tell you
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Hunter killed by combine, the most dangerous prey
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Marijuana in Halloween candy. New hotness: Meth in Halloween candy
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Just to keep up his street cred, Pope Francis sends out a squad of elite exorcist-knights classically trained to battle demons all the way back to the gates of Hell
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
U.S. Navy commander culls the SEAL who squealed about the Osama hit: You don't go and veer off course with the "ethos" in my presence, pup
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
With Uber's "Surge Pricing," both you and your bank account get taken for a ride
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Large object discovered buried 20 feet under the sand on a New Jersey beach. Difficulty: Not Jimmy Hoffa
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Boba Pedophile? Where?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon November 03, 2014
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Nasal spray vaccine shown to prevent Ebola in monkeys. Great, now we'll have a bunch of autistic monkeys running around
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Gazette (UK))
 
 
 
We've all been there... Pensioner persuaded to stay at pub to watch conker competition forewent usual tomato juice for red wine before crashing into stone pillar on the way home
source: westerngazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
I'M A POLICE CAR, GET OUT OF MY WAY. I'm a train, your call
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark NotNewsletter #11: Putting the No in November
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Get ready for USDA certified organic cannibal diseased factory farmed fish
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man struck and killed by falling tape measure. On the bright side, they know exactly how far it fell
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New Zealanders set to vote on whether to keep their existing flag or scrap it and design a new one. Help a Kiwi out with a Photoshop of what the new flag could be
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Men shorter than 5ft 9ins are 25% more likely to die from dementia, be grumpy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Too many prayers on the field. Fifteen yard penalty
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Russian monument to Steve Jobs is taken down because teh ghey
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
John Oliver shows everyone that the State Legislatures are the most powerful political bodies ever
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
"The sheriff then calls me and says 'hey, we got another one.'"
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Welcome to Obama's America: Where a white man can't threaten to massacre federal agents without being labeled a terrorist
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Clearwater, Florida has nothing on New York city when it comes to wacky cults
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Good ways a school board can spend $157,000: 1) Hire more teachers, 2) A shiatload of chalk 3) New computers. Bad ways: 1) Hiring an ex-FBI agent to monitor the social media activity of students to find reasons to expel the black ones
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newlaunches)
 
 
 
You can now go to the airport to take a flight with a set of R2D2 rolling luggage. Being pulled out of line for secondary TSA screening is a bonus with every set sold
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(The World's Best Ever)
 
 
 
Shoe collectors step back in time when they find a fully stocked Adidas shop in Buenos Aires that hasn't been disturbed since the 1970s
source: theworldsbestever.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Joran van der Sloot stabbed in prison, Nancy Grace's whereabouts unconfirmed
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police not amused by Aussie who parked plane in front of pub to grab a drink
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Tom Magliozzi of Car Talk has died of Alzheimer's complications. Actual quote FTA: "In a statement announcing his brother's death, Ray said: 'Turns out he wasn't kidding. He really couldn't remember last week's puzzler'"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
Firefighter forced to resign after shooting video of hose practice inside firehouse
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
"Yes, this is Verizon calling. You've exceeded your data plan this month. Can we charge that $3200 to your credit card?"
source: wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Whatever you do, don't mention the War of Jenkins Ear
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