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Sun September 21, 2014
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Here's how we can finally get rid of the American penny once and for all
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Twenty-one-year-old Canadian with 114 warrants out for her arrest dubbed the new 'World's Sexiest Criminal' (mug shots, etc)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these stage actors in their finery
source: teatr-planet.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Within five years we could all have a digital twin who is capable of making decisions, filling out forms, talking to your family and friends, satisfying your wife, letting friends know when you die, taking over your life and raising your children
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
A new app called Cuddlr allows strangers to meet up for random hugs in public, or private. What could possibly go wrong?
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Letting your child play outside? Yeah that's a visit from the police
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Morris dancers barred from Hyde Park pub due to their fancy dress. "We are a group of Morris dancers - it's not like we were going to cause trouble"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced Secret Service agents with Border Patrol agents at the White House. Let's see what happens
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
ISIS' new video "isn't that horrific or extreme, but it is bizarre. It's three and a half minutes of Grand Theft Auto 5, cut and edited in a way to try and recruit new, young members into the extremist organization"
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-quality latex mask
source: swag-inc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Like buying energy efficient houses? Have an extra $1.05 million burning a hole in your pocket? Well now is your chance to buy this 'Net zero' home which produces as much energy as it uses (with pictures)
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Um...what was that you said?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The last weekend of summer saw things wind down in Chicagostan, with only thirteen shootings and one murder. You can tell fall is here when the gangs start to spend more time inside
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Are you single and unmarried? Congratulations, you are responsible for the decline in available Social Security funds
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police conduct a no-knock raid; homeowner kills an officers; charges dropped because it was self defense. Same thing happens six months later, but this time prosectors want the death penalty. What do you think the difference is between the two shooters?
source: thefreethoughtproject.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is what online news has come to: one of the most popular stories on one the most popular "news" sites in the world today is about a girl. A girl riding a zebra. That's it. Weep for humanity
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
There's no need to soft pedal this, when you steal a cop's bike, don't getaway down a dead end alley
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til you try to steal whiskey from the cabin crew area of the plane you're on and break through four sets of plastic handcuffs while yelling obscenities to the stewardess' and stewards
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Australian)
 
 
 
Man suffered with insomnia and depression following the death of his wife. Then, late one strange and divine night as he lay awake, lost in the depths of despair, he was struck by a profound compulsion to make marmalade, and then everything changed
source: theaustralian.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Magazine)
 
 
 
Why is Massachusetts switching to all electronic tolling with no cash option? Because any glitch could mean a jackpot for the state and a five figure bill for you
source: bostonmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
We're going to need a bigger shelter (because this one is way too dusty)
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Florida, where bundt cakes became cool again
source: malled.blog.palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
Marijuana users turn to dating sites that cater exclusively to pot smokers. Not surprisingly, all profile pictures suffer from red eye
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Safety experts want to kick distracted pedestrians to the curb
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
What's the surprise? Surgical billing surprise
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Caption this Mediterranean Mantis saluting the sun
source: photography.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Are you behind the ape ball? Do you feel your life is nothing more than a vicious circus? Well, welcome to the world of malapropisms and mangulation of the English language
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this emphatic tennis shot
source: l2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Multi-millionaire who was so happy that his wife recovered from cancer that he gave away his £16m fortune and sold all his belongings and sold their home. Unfortunately that led to his wife leaving him
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Champlain Valley)
 
 
 
If you're looking to break into a building to find a warm place to stay, a police station works as well as anywhere else I guess
source: mychamplainvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Want your kids to eat their vegetables? Go to college
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dispatch)
 
 
 
The cruel inhumane ingenious bastard who invented the sweet savory brain-freezing torment of our childhoods, has passed away at the way too young age of 74
source: cdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Australia pays man to go undercover and have sex at brothels. "I was given three jobs to complete, for the same council, in the same week and I'm not as young as I used to be"
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
Time to fix the windows: Cop runs into Dunkin Donuts
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Uh oh, the Germans just found out about Hipster Hitler, and they are a little pissed off
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Jet with more than 100 tons of supplies for Ebola victims en route to Africa. HURRY BOY THEY'RE WAITING THERE FOR YOU
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
Weed pizza sauce kills two birds to get one stoned
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ustream)
 
 
 
SpaceX Falcon 9 launch tonight at 1:52 am EDT. Link goes to live feed
source: ustream.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 20, 2014
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
IKEA evacuated at news of guy with a gun; hundreds of individuals successfully assemble themselves outside
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Los Angeles denies permit for thousand foot long water slide after 11,000 people point out there's a drought
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is if someone takes you to a residence with a sign out front that says "Pimp Plaza" you should probably run because nothing good will happen in that house
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Scuba diver breaks record, staying underwater for 51 hours. He also broke the world record for significant shrinkage
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You now need photo ID to buy hair dye in Europe as latest anti-terror laws kick in
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
What's worse than sushi? Horse meat sushi
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these exercise enthusiasts
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
CIA pinkie swears it is no longer spying on the governments of our friends in Western Europe, and hasn't been for the past two months
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bellingham Herald)
 
 
 
Little Shop of Horrors' at Mount Baker Theatre a dream job for costume and wig designer Jessica Carr. No real reason to submit this other than to complete the ever rare LSOH trifecta, confuse the Bellingham Herald newspaper webmaster
source: bellinghamherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
"In a land of melting ice-creams, sandy feet and fluffy bears, how could anyone be fearful of terrorism?" 'Terror doodles' prompt removal of Australian man from commercial airline flight
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
San Francisco food nazis drive a Chinese restaurant cook insane. "Yes we use MSG, No, we don't care about organic food and we don't give a shiat about gluten-free"
source: sf.eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Is it OK to hate hipsters? "They can be crass, attitudinal, have offbeat ideas about the rights of way a fixed-gear bike is afforded in traffic. But they're just as often culturally engaged, self-reflective. I mean, come on, we were all young once"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Elitist residents of Machester-by-the-sea regret changing the name of their pretentious village of snobs from simple Manchester
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mayor of Munich officially opens this year's Oktoberfest, when you can drink as much as you do on Fark normally and you don't look bad doing it. So, yeah, PROST
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these vista viewers
source: ww4.hdnux.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
100 pound tortoise found roaming the streets of Sarasota. No word if he said 'Hello' to the DEA along his journey
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
No matter how persuasive he is, if a guy asks to kill you so that he can bring you back to life, don't let him
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Survivalist who killed police officer in Pennsylvania has "nowhere to go," says police chief who doesn't know where he is
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
100-year-old woman jumps out of cake v...e...r...y s...l...o...w...l...y
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Priceonomics)
 
 
 
How Nixon, Joyce Nalepka, and The War On Drugs™ saved us all from the insidious menace of the McCoke spoon
source: priceonomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
"Utah police investigating a home invasion, in which two polygamist women dressed in ninja costumes came armed with knives and a stun gun and attacked two adults"
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Residents in beach town complain about girls standing around in bikinis
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mic)
 
 
 
So, like, it turns out that, like, filler words are like, not as much of a, like, problem as everyone, like, thinks they are, you know
source: mic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connect MidMissouri)
 
 
 
Judge comes up with novel punishment idea: go stand in the corner
source: connectmidmissouri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Man slashes 10-year-old girl's bicycle tire after she allegedly ran over his foot twice. So, of course, he's the bad guy
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Two Russian fighter jets were stopped by U.S. F-22s near Alaska. This is not a repeat from the Cold War (though it might be getting a wee bit chillier these days)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
"I was literally in class like right before the lunch bell rang and they had said stuff about the rats being in the kitchen and said like 'Have a nice lunch' and I was like 'Oh. Ewwww.'"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 1130)
 
 
 
"Wallet inspector." Whoah, I can't believe that worked
source: news1130.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
10% of U.S. workers have gone to work high on pot. Other 90% lost their job after forgetting to show up
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is that you should never run a business on the honor system. And that you shouldn't start selling pumpkins until October even if the money is going to a good cause
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Brothers fight each other with sticks over stolen okra, landing them in deep gumbo. Okra, serious business
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dashing man of the sea
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
While other countries decriminalize possession of small amounts of even hard drugs for personal use, the draconian police state of Hawaii continues to throw young men in jail for having as little as 18 pounds of crystal meth in their backpack
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRCR TV Redding)
 
 
 
I will not share my lunch at school. I will not share my lunch at school. I will not share my lunch at school
source: krcrtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Felines invited, Jellicle ball, Fur all matted, Shave off it all. Catur-shave
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRDO Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Poll: More than half of Colorado voters disapprove of recreational pot, Cheetos, Mountain Dew
source: krdo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Finally, an alternative for all those kids with too much cancer to go to Space Camp
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Goose hunter attacked by croc and manages to shake it off by poking it in the eyes. Then he has a "few" beers to numb the pain - it's the Australian way
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
And so the rioting starts in Scotland
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Police in Juneau, Alaska are on the lookout for the person who stole $40,000 in jewelry from Costco. In other news some Costco stores carry $40,000 worth of jewelry
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Pearl-clutching parents petition Ben & Jerrry's over 'Hazed & Confused'" ice-cream name, and not for the reasons you're thinking
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 19, 2014
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
Sierra Leone really and truly is shutting down everything. Three day lockdown to halt Ebola
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
A note to parents: don't let your children drink the delicious juice inside E-Cigarettes
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Hey my car is right where I left it... 40 years ago"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Seven pumpkin flavored liquors that will test the limits of your tastebuds, sanity
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Guy pulls the "just kidding" card after attempting armed hold up of the bar at the local country club. Again
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
White House evacuated. Update: Intruder has been apprehended
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
This futuristic World's Fair concourse needs some futuristic Photoshop help
source: img.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Food and Drug Administration)
 
 
 
If you've been struggling to find one very good reason not to eat an uneviscerated dried roach, you're in luck
source: fda.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Ever wonder why Hollywood is out of ideas? Apparently, they shipped all the weird ideas off to Bollywood
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Never forget to take the commemorative 9/11 shell casing out of your pocket. Here's why
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man dies performing CPR on his wife. You're doing it wrong
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Woman left brain-dead after colliding with a brain dead moron who was barreling through Central Park on his $4,000 racing bike
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Ma'am I'm sorry that your 12-year-old daughter is suffering a seizure, but this damn bus has a schedule to keep
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
If you're a cyclist and encounter a wedding limo parked in the bike lane, you could just ride around it. Or you could create a scene that ends with you getting your ass kicked by the wedding party
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Some Islamic asshats beheaded a few people recently, so clearly you can see why people were outraged that Busch Gardens had the unmitigated gall to include severed heads in its Halloween display
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
And in Canada, the current score is Black Bears 1, Hunters 0
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
When you're caught with a shrimp wheel and a pork loin in your jacket and the cop chasing you had to dodge the hotdogs being ejected from your pants, there is a good bet your appeal for lack of evidence to convict will get chuckled out of a courtroom
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not News: Unpopular girl subjected to cruel "homecoming queen prank." Amazing: The real homecoming queen gives her crown away to the girl in front of everyone. Damn dusty here
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
100-year-old woman training for her first, last 5k walk
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Taco Bell's parent company just opened a Vietnamese restaurant with a communist star logo. Well, five points for effort
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
In Russia, cats become fire-breathing dragons and dogs turn into cute four-legged bumblebees
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Daily Press (UK))
 
 
 
Man dubbed "Britain's most prolific shoplifter" jailed for 341st time. Note that he was not called "Britain's most proficient shoplifter" (pic)
source: westerndailypress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Great news: Obamacare website now mostly secure
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The Archbishop of Canterbury has doubts about the existence of God
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cliff path
source: osiny.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you are a town official and are going to be filmed somewhere, make sure it is not a room full of Nazi stuff
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
This year: 'Save the cougars of L.A." Next year: 'Kill the murdering, mountain lions that ate my baby'
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My High Plains)
 
 
 
Man takes 1d8 damage from short spear while attempting to burgle the home of a medieval weapons enthusiast
source: myhighplains.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Queens man posts pornographic photos in his windows, insists "I'm drying them out, they got damp last night"
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMC 5 Memphis)
 
 
 
For some odd reason, parents want to know how a woman wielding a baseball bat got into their children's school unnoticed. The fact that she was wearing only underwear notwithstanding
source: wmcactionnews5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
Suspect in PA state trooper shooting makes FBI most wanted list, claimed to have fought with Serbians in Africa. You remember when Serbia was at war in Africa, right?
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
France fires the first shots in war. This is not a repeat from Waterloo or Dien Bien Phu
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sharon Herald)
 
 
 
Domestic dispute results in a bull getting kicked over a fence by an angry, pregnant buffalo
source: sharonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Want to attend a public university? You may be forced to do a sex quiz, which is not nearly as fun as a Fark Quiz but is also less likely to result in a social disease
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Sometimes you just want to get away from it all when you want to have your drink... like way up on a giant ferris wheel
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Smoke-filled passenger jet just barely escapes being the latest obsession of the Missing Plane Network
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian Navy announces plans to retire four aging and obsolete ships, bringing the size of its navy down to -4
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Here are the fifteen toys your children will demand from Santa Claus or Hanukkah Harry this Christmas because the media tells them so
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MK Web)
 
 
 
Parents persuaded by council not to name their newborn baby after a transport company
source: mkweb.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you're going to start a family business and expand to eight locations, try to not have them all be in New Jersey. Also, try to not have them all be brothels. Just saying
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Six Iranians sentenced to one year in prison and 91 lashes for dancing to Pharrell Williams' song Happy. I don't know about you but that sounds right to me
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Looks like citizens of Washington DC have been listening to a lot of Cypress Hill lately
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering the Bar)
 
 
 
Kansas lawyer incompetently tries to convince Kansas Supreme Court that he is incompetent, succeeds anyway
source: loweringthebar.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Average American waistline is now 39 inches, or more than a yard. Rear ends still as big as a house
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you have already lost one leg, why not just lop off the other one so you can run faster?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
How State Police detect drugged drivers: Weaving. Stupid human tricks. Cheek swabs
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mary_and ma_h _eacher _ins one mi_ _ion do_ _ars on _hee_ of For_une
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
TV news anchor who was fired after referring to Chinese President Xi Jinping as 'Eleven' Jinping, is told to reapply for his job in VIII years
source: af.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
If the police are willing to cut you some slack and call your mom to come pick up your drunk, sorry ass, just get in the car
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Because it's Friday, you're bored, and nobody is responding to that damn email you sent two hours ago: The Fark Weird News Quiz. The quiz more doctors recommend for their patients with unusual swelling
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
A LA attorney faces a possible six-month suspension for posting more than 50 photoshopped pics on her firm's website that portray her mingling with big-time celebrities. Subby's seen quite a few shops. I can tell by the pixels that they're fake
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Reasons to conduct a SWAT raid: 1) Hostage situation with armed, delusional man, 2) Drug processing warehouse filled with armed criminals, 3) To make sure the local barbers all have their licenses up-to-date
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cryptozoology News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Bigfoot caught on camera. New hotness: Dwarf Bigfoot with Predator's cloaking-like ability caught on camera (w/video)
source: cryptozoologynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Are older women really better in bed? Smoking hot Sexpert Tracey Cox says YES, YES, YES
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Former babysitter of the year candidate who was sentenced to 15 years in prison for leaving a 9-month-old boy in the bathtub unsupervised for an hour while she checked Facebook is demanding a new trial because she's deaf
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Men fear to tread the Korean Demilitarized Zone, which makes it one of the safest locations for wildlife anywhere in the world
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Because sex
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man's stolen Jaguar miraculously found ... after 46 years
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
So apparently it's illegal to spank Miley Cyrus with a Mexican flag
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
People who were spanked as children say the punishment made them better people in a vain attempt to justify being abusive assholes
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
When your son comes to you to talk about having suicidal thoughts there are many ways to handle it. Handing him your .45 caliber gun and telling him "Do it. Kill yourself. I don't really care" is not one of those ways
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Once again, it's time to practice your "Arrr"s
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this steak-lover
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un in poor health as his weight has ballooned thanks to an obsession with cheese
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Back in the day when a father caught their son smoking cigarettes they would force them to smoke the whole pack to teach them a lesson. Apparently that is frowned upon now, especially if it's vodka instead of cigarettes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9News (Australia))
 
 
 
The first Australian in Perth to buy an iPhone 6 promptly becomes the first person in Perth to drop the iPhone 6. Bonus: On live TV
source: 9news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
'Three Cups of Tea' guy plans 'reluctant' return to public speaking circuit, hopes people have gotten over the whole 'Your books on Afghanistan were a complete lie and you stole from the charity you set up" stuff by now
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Crossing guard fails to look both ways before running across the street. If only there was a crossing guard for the crossing guard. (W/video)
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British Airways: Where our pilots are barely old enough to get a drink at the lounge when they land at JFK
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
DC Farkers: Let's get everyone's favorite penguin scientist drunk before we have to dump him on his flight home. 3:30PM this Friday, 9/19 @ Gordon Biersch on F St
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
World's biggest onion brings tears of joy to its gardener
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(7 Deadly)
 
 
 
Bartender writes an epic rant in response to hedge-fund douchebag who groped her
source: 7deadlymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Thai prime minister apologizes for implying that criminals do not murder ugly women
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
First Scottish Referendum results are coming out. UPDATE: It's official. Scotland votes NAE
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
School administrators use 14 year old girl as rape bait in sting. Then forget to show up to stop the crime
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 18, 2014
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
If you're confused about the Scottish independence referendum, let Fark's favorite animators explain it to you. Even if it doesn't clear the issues up for you, it will make you giggle
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Villagers attack and kidnap Guinea's Ebola health team. You are not helping
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Tired of its image as a store full of shirtless, unshaven, butt-cracked, back-titted, mullet-topped shoppers, Walmart looks to boost its image by hosting cockfighting in the store
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Apparently falling off a 100ft cliff can really make you hungry
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Detroit)
 
 
 
He who lives by the flamethrower shall . . . crap, I'm on fire
source: myfoxdetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Botto Bistro has one goal: To become the most hated restaurant on Yelp
source: insidescoopsf.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Proving that not all teens are beer-drinking hellraisers, a high school senior is raising funds for protective K9 vests
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Sky Harbor Airport closed as gunman is on the loose. What a pisser
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Time to reset the mass shooting clock again
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Grey Is The New Orange: elderly prison population confused by modern world upon parole
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Thousands respond after car thief in L.A. police chase runs down Gordo The Dog on live tv
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gazette)
 
 
 
Archeologists discover 14 beer caves outside of Cedar Rapids described as "impossibly dangerous" to explore
source: thegazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these children at a water fountain
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OC Weekly)
 
 
 
The 10 most important tacos in the history of tacos
source: blogs.ocweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Father of mass murderer Anders Breivik wrote book about how extreme and dangerous his son is. Gee, thanks for the warning
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Spanking is something you should only do to your consensual sex partner or the prostitute to whom you've paid extra
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Detroit)
 
 
 
Free Cat
source: myfoxdetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News9 Oklahoma)
 
 
 
Fringed surrey sales soar as Oklahoma IDs will no longer be valid for air travel in '16
source: news9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Nebraska jail guard caught stealing Lego told to hit the bricks
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In the name of great justice, US military ready to launch all Zig
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Rugged individualist Cliven Bundy, who is being sued by a woman whose car collided with one of his cows that wandered onto the interstate, says it's the STATE'S job to keep the fences repaired on the land he illegally grazes his cows on
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
You Catholic school kids who had nothing to do with the gay hate crime beating in Philly can leave now. Not so fast, "coach"
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Aspiring chef arrested after she posted her one-pot cooking method to Facebook
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Descrier)
 
 
 
New Islamic State propaganda video showing British journalist John Cantlie released. No, just the video was released. He's still screwed
source: descrier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Epicurious)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: When it's time to put a special breakfast on the table, what do you put together? French omelet? Homemade biscuits and gravy? From comfort food to showing off, breakfast is a meal we can all do well if you'll chip in some good ideas
source: epicurious.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Everybody get out your sad trombones: America's Toughest Sheriff, Joe Arpaio, is being forced to return all the military-grade hardware, including guns, tanks, and helicopters, that he received through the Defense Department's Excess Property Program
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
Firefighter under fire from firefighters' union for fighting fires for free
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Just so we're all on the same page, if you're the school bus driver and a sick student asks you to pull over so he can get out and vomit, don't leave him in a stranger's driveway while he's vomiting
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Czechoslovak depeniser back in California to stand trial after burglary scheme goes off half-cocked
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Farmers in Arizona are confused but happy over these strange orbs of liquid falling from the sky in large quantities
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Know Your Meme)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: What internet memes do while on vacation
source: knowyourmeme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Deputy fire chief places his bid to be drafted into the NFL. FARK: His home also houses Imagination Station, a child care center. Police said they removed several firearms from the home, including rifles, shotguns and handguns
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Kentucky white supremacist who's running for Senate is betting heavily that voters like slogans that rhyme: 'With Jews We Lose'
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVEC)
 
 
 
Please note: the US Army does not allow 'elfing' your ears
source: wvec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Texas School Board votes to screw over all TX HS school students taking AP US History or Government by refusing to let teachers teach the test-based curriculum and instead insisting they use TX's new "America, fark yeah" history standards
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Two Siberian women killed when two tons of root vegetables fall on them in most Russian death imaginable
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Swiss News)
 
 
 
"EU disappointed in Iran." Hey man, we all thought Flock of Seagulls had more in them but sometimes you just get that one hit and that's it
source: swissinfo.ch   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
In one broad stroke, criminal mastermind tries to use his hoodie to steal artwork from gallery. This man is no Thomas Crown
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Missing American bachelorette party caught in Cabo during hurricane turns up in California. Hangover 4 just wrote itself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Salt, the mineral most responsible for civilization, was good for you, then bad, then not so bad, then bad again, is now...not as bad as it was. For now
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
National leader makes statement all of us can agree with whole heartedly. Difficulty: It's the leader of Iran
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Rural Hawaii residents breathe sigh of relief as lava flow misses their neighborhood on the outskirts of the town... that it's heading straight for the middle of. Dammit
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
And the next king of Scotland is? WAT, the Duke of Bavaria?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Oklahoma City man arrested for washing himself in public fountain with mayonnaise. Well, they hope it was mayonnaise
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If I'm reading this correctly, and I believe that I am, then Woody Harrelson is a monkey
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Let's get wasted while we're taking care of a busload of schoolkids What could possibly go wrong?
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Insurance industry kept awake nights during hurricane season due to the increasing likelihood of their worst nightmare: a $100 billion superstorm that could blow in any day EVERYBODY PANIC
source: dotearth.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSPR Springfield)
 
 
 
Student suspended until January after school officials found a notebook with details about a hit list and mass shootings. Did I say 'hit list' and 'mass shootings'? I meant cannibis
source: kspr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
How to tell it might be a redneck wedding? It takes seven police departments to break up the brawl that ensues
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dogs found to have mental abilities of five-month-old babies, although they think more about steak
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Bipartisan group of senators call for resignation of NFL pro football player; wait did I say 'NFL pro football player'? I meant federal judge accused of beating his wife in an Atlanta hotel room last month
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Police say a man used a banana to rob a store. This never would have happened if the cashier had a pointed stick or a 16-ton weight
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Poverty rate in the U.S. falls to 14.5%. The other 85.5% of Americans are still just a paycheck away
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
ISIS captures sixteen villages. Duchies, Hamlets on high alert
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Dear Prudence: My eleven year-old daughter has discovered what I will euphemistically refer to as my 'back massager' and has gone...exploring. Is that wrong? Should I stop this? Do you still believe these questions are real?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flaming horseback rider
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Will Scotland do what William Wallace couldn't? Will Britain shuffle off this mortal coil and cease to be? Will the Scots save Scotland from the Scots because the Scots f*cked it bloody well up? This is your Scottish Independence Referendum Thread
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You can now buy Ebola blood on the black market
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Irish paper covers Scotland's vote for independence from England live from the intertubes. Wales
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Would you like to know what foods are popular in which states, and only those states? I thought you would
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Despite what Fox News is always telling you, the United States is not even close to being the happiest country on the planet
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
This three-eyed calf is an incarnation of Shiva? HOLY COW
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
There are now over a billion websites on the internet, some of which aren't porn
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
First thing to do after buying a new car? A) call your friends, B) proudly take a short drive, or C) take off that dealer license plate frame
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Six middle school children hospitalized after a classmate brings pills to show and tell
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Death and Taxes Magazine)
 
 
 
Today's Mad Libs Headline: Couple's threesome with homeless man turns violent with hamburger meat
source: deathandtaxesmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
I've topped the wind-swept heights with easy grace where never lark nor even eagle flew-and, while with silent lifting mind I've trod the high untrespassed sanctity of space, put out my hand, and touched the face of
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
The only problem using drum circles to treat troubled teenagers, is that they sound a lot cooler when you're high
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 489: "Challenge Accepted". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 17, 2014
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Live rundown of anti-terror operation in Sydney, 800 police officers involved. Plot to behead member of the public revealed
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Why waste valuable time while waiting to pick the schoolchildren up in your coach, just perform a sex act on yourself
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
It's not a tum...wait a moment. I'm being told by my producer that it is, in fact, a tumor
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scotland could end up becoming England's Mexico. Or Canada, not sure
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
"First rule: Don't burn the driver's armpit hair, especially when the vehicle's moving"
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
So...who gets Scotland's nuclear arsenal? Or will they just sell it to the highest bidder in order to have some kind of capital to fall back on?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
Woman successfully boards plane to NYC, despite having a boarding pass with another person's name on it. A man's name, no less
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Michigan teenager describes her relationship with her parents as "better...we actually have a stronger relationship, now." That's after trying to burn her house down after her arranged engagement to a dude overseas
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Picture)
 
 
 
Photoshop this disapproving baby
source: bigpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Mobile Fark has a new look - come check it out and let us know what you think
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The Parent Television Council has watched hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of naked people on television in order to come up with the conclusion that there are way too many naked people on television
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Meet the woman who is the last surviving food taster for Adolf Hitler
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
From the "Seriously, what the fark is wrong with people?" File: women increasingly undergoing plastic surgery to remove their "boot bulge" which is basically any suggestion that the human calf is rounded in any way
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Moving a child from southern Sudan to a wealthy L.A. school reduces their measles and pertussis risk. Wait. Reverse that
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There is evil, and then there is "Hell is building a whole new wing just for you": 15 children have reportedly died in rebel-held areas of Syria after receiving vaccination with a measles vaccine that was apparently tainted or deliberately poisoned
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Airline "Passenger Shaming" is now a thing
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Canada has the 'Looney.' The US has the 'Greenback.' What's a good name for an independent Scotland's new currency?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Worker falls through roof during London fashion show. Models all remain expressionless
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
$68 million in meth and heroin smuggled in fish shipment. Customs officials reportedly became suspicious as the frozen fillets were still twitching
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Elite Daily)
 
 
 
You can tell by the pixels, Beyoncé
source: elitedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You may have taken your metal detecting hobby too far when the bomb disposal robot turns up at the door (with awesome Man Cave pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Health officials concerned that kids are getting too much physical activity outside
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Sean Hannity: "My dad hit me with a strap and I'm okay"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Hospital admits patient even though she drove through the wall instead of paying for an ambulance ride like she was supposed to
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark Coloring Challenge: Master Level
source: 9coloringpages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Caption Challenge: How many home hazards can YOU find in this picture
source: farm6.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man claims he woke up in a field full of donkeys near Roswell with his memory wiped, which probably had nothing to do with heavy drinking the night before
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Austrian traffic cop covered in manure by poop bomb planted at speed trap, "crappy day" puns likely to follow
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ebola cases could double every three weeks... at least until West Africa is devoid of human life
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when a human head falls out of the garbage bag you are carrying? Don't get mad, get Glad
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Now, once more, I must ride with my knights to defend what was, and the dream of what could be.' Arthur Uther Pendragon joins the fight to save the Union
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Occupy Wall Street finally does something useful
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Bertha is stuck in the mud. BORING
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Man litters NYC looking for a date. Why can't he use Craigslist like the rest of the losers?
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
When your dog goes missing there are two places you need to look: one is "out back" and the other is Florida
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Nik Wallenda plans tight rope walk over the Chicago River. Locals: It's a long shot, but we'll get him
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al-Monitor)
 
 
 
Secretary of State walks into a bar in Tel Aviv and orders a beer. The bartender brings him ISIS
source: al-monitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
What to do when the local KFC burns down? Have the store manager charter a bus to a KFC in the next town over, of course
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"How we botched the first predator mission." Damn cloaking devices
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Al Qaeda's new South Asia wing almost took over a Pakistani frigate, but Pakistani Navy got lucky with a hit on A1
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Northwest)
 
 
 
Victims able to vividly describe attack weapon after being assaulted with cake
source: mynorthwest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when your beer gets skunked?
source: cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boobies)
 
 
 
If you're going to pack your bags for a "one way trip" to jihad in Syria, don't burn your passport because you may have a change of heart and someday want to go home
source: firstpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Weed be gone
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grub Street)
 
 
 
That's odd--Drew never has a second cup of coffee at home
source: grubstreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
In Russia, the head of the Orthodox church gets a fighter jet
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Pornhub, YouPorn, and Redtube team up to fight for Net Neutrality. "No one wants to wait for porn to load. You're almost there and then-buffering. Moment ruined"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Good news, Washington DC -- your own local news channel, ABC 7, has new ownership who is going to turn the station conservative in an effort to shield you from the harm caused by the liberal media's propaganda
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Los Angeles Unified School District: "Okay, we'll give back the grenade launchers, but we're keeping the rifles and the MRAP"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(York Press, UK)
 
 
 
Frustrated baker ends up in court for head-butting sausage roll machine
source: yorkpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Corinthian Colleges accused of victimizing students, forcing them to manufacture soft leather products for Chrysler Cordobas
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
First date ends with man dead, woman hospitalized, pick-up truck crashed. Mama and dog inconsolable
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
A look at how prisons got taken over by gangs
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Schools are shut down and residents on edge as multiple agencies search for the "survivalist" shooter of the PA state trooper barracks. Bonus -4,600 link with factual and grammatical errors
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
If police have video of you right before you assaulted two gay men, you might want to delete homophobic slurs from your Facebook wall, along with check-ins and photos of you at a nearby restaurant in the same clothes from the video
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big blue marble
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
If a monologue from Glenn Beck about Ebola includes the phrase "Call me crazy," you can bet that it will be
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Texas judge cited Walter Sobchak in a legal decision, also adding, mark it zero
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
There's a new crime fighter in Oakland, and his name is Buddha
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Frederick News Post)
 
 
 
When you break into a tattoo parlor, cover the piece the owner did last month
source: fredericknewspost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
What better way to save dogs than to erect a giant billboard with a picture of a golden retriever that says "KILLTHISDOG.COM"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Grab your pitchfork, the American Gothic house up for rent again
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is over as the ceremonial key to Wellington, New Zealand has been returned after being stolen
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
In 1964 grocery store managers received a message that this Pop-Tart thingy should in no way be thought of as a breakfast cereal. Now it turns fifty
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Headline: Global warming likely to cause colder and snowier winters. Come on, you're just screwing with us now, right?
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Formerly cute young French lady loses fight with high-pressure hydraulic line, it would seem based on the first photo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 16, 2014
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Stop when flashing red
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
In a slight variation on the theme, man chokes wife over chicken
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Yesterday the newly-built USS AMERICA arrived at her new homeport. A year ago today the man who designed her set sail for his own
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Man repeatedly calls 911 to complain that he doesn't have a refrigerator. DUDE, CHILL
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Scottish things that really aren't fecking Scottish at all
source: i100.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
"Vultures have the common courtesy to fly off when the bones are cleaned, unlike Duke," said FL State Rep. Dudley. Duke still sucks
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Dallas bar threatens to boycott NFL games in response to domestic abuse scandal
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
There is a fine line between "devoutly religious" and "unmedicated." Claiming that NASA's Voyager space probe proved that homosexuality was an abomination before God probably crosses that line
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Orange is the New Black Eye
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this war-weary military man
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Women open up about vaginismus
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
New book on Jon Stewart reveals "Bad Jon" side who yells at staff, throws newspapers, and berates Seth MacFarlane over the phone. That's why "The Daily Show" staff have a supply of Snickers on hand
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Texas Board of Education holds public meeting on new proposed social studies textbooks. This should end well
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Study finds "direct link" between fracking activities and recent earthquakes. Fracking industry quickly issues rebuttal, "The Earth always has earthquakes"
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
New border check between England and Scotland confiscates all your whisky ... waaaaaaaaaaait just a minute here, this isn't really a border check, is it?
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
A lit cigarette, a spatula and a buttock. What could possibly go wrong here?
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEPR TV Pasco)
 
 
 
Funeral home in Michigan to offer a drive through mourning window, for when you want to pay your respects, but you're too fat and lazy to get out of the car
source: keprtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
How me-centered Millennials and "the customer is always right" idiocy have merged to make Chipotlification the new standard in fine dining
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A customer goes to McDonald's and orders a chicken sandwich and sees a white substance and when customer questions the staff they laughed and said it was tartar sauce. The only problem is the chicken sandwich does not come with tartar sauce
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Deathstar tries to change the goal post and prevent total defeat at the hands of the rebellion
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you're a dumb tourist, your scuba divemaster's hope that you die in a horrible way on his watch are only tempered by the paperwork involved
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
While Ebola gets a load of attention, another virus is enjoying the lack of attention and having a joy ride
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Polls show that most Americans want teachers to pass a "bar exam" -type qualification test before being allowed to teach. Teachers respond that if you start paying them like lawyers they will get right on that
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
City halves downtown speed limit after slick new paving stones prove to be slick new paving stones
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(elLf houSE)
 
 
 
Photoshop this nighttime skyline
source: ellf.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
How dry is California? So dry a wildfire was caused by sunlight reflecting off sheet metal
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Estonian online store sells $11.50 beard combs made from scrap vinyl records, which some customers will undoubtedly claim they've already listened to
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida's new, Marvel-drawn orange juice mascot, Captain Citrus, will Vitamin C you in hell
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Scottish hospital staff 'exhausted,' warns surgeon. But don't worry - the billing and collections departments are as chipper and fully staffed as can be
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Fast food worker busted after rubbing his junk on customer's pineapple pizza. That's disgusting, pineapple on pizza
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
This week's entry in Badass Suicides is the Thai woman that leapt to her end in a pit full of hundreds of crocodiles
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Answer: Your spouse. Unless that's your thing, of course
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Next they'll be looking for the Hugo particle
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Usually when you read about a man walking in to traffic and getting hit by a truck it doesn't end with the man setting himself on fire. Usually
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Scientist get rare glimpse of Kim Jong-Un's secret volcanic lair
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
News article about teacher contract negotiations mistakenly accompanied by picture of hatchet smashing windshield. All 17 of the teachers who "Liked" the post are therefore being investigated by the school district
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
In defiance of Catholic Church tradition, a rebel priest marries 20 couples, some of who were already living together or had previously been married. And by "rebel priest", I mean "Pope Francis"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Domestic violence order issued against chief of police. The 49ers immediately sing him up
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Your car almost out of gas? No problem, just steal one with a full tank. But for the love of FSM don't be an idiot and park on the side of the highway with your stolen car and use a call box to report that your family has been killed
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Weed goes up in smoke
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
The police sketch artist who deduced the identity of the unknown kissing sailor in that famous World War II picture is now working feverishly around the clock in hopes of solving the mystery of the Billy the Kid photograph
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
I was told there would be no porn
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
When your girlfriend... and your girlfriend... and your girlfriend are waiting to 'greet' you at the airport to call you out on your cheating ways you'd better watch out
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
It's not surprising that there are UFO-based religious orders out there. It's not even that surprising that there are, in fact, quite a decent number of them. What may be surprising is that several of them are flourishing and gaining new members
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
The rise of ISIS explained in 24 maps and a few graphs
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: Gym sets up soccer games. Fark: inside a small exercise room. Ultra fark: everyone is encased in inflatable balls and it turns into bumper cars
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I was a Muslim extremist for the CIA
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Now that everybody's drinking coffee made from the poop of civets, all the cool kids only drink coffee made from the poop of elephants
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
"Did you order the Rubber Chicken?" "YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID"
source: news.theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
A female grizzly bear in Alaska's Katmai National Park adopts an abandoned cub and raises him as if he was her own. Disney lawyers sue for copyright infringement
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Today's FARK-ready headline with multiple interpretations: "Men warned to quit bush sex"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Science Festival)
 
 
 
Still think the best witness is an eyewitness? Well, we've got some bad news for you, especially if you ever get accused of a crime you didn't commit
source: worldsciencefestival.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Bible-pushing Christians open the door for Satanic activity books in Florida schools. Wow...Dick and Jane sure have changed since subby was a kid, and OH MY GOD WHAT ARE THEY DOING?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Portuguese academic slams Brits as pathologically violent, filthy, constantly drunk and little better than wild animals: "In England real men have to drink like sponges, eat like skeletons and throw up everything at the end of the evening"
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
Airport federal agents seize 66 bars of soapium
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook