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Sun August 03, 2014
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Not news: Two girls from Kansas hold a bake sale. News: With half the proceeds going to an animal shelter. Fark: And the other half going in to a fund to have a wedding for their dogs. And they do. Bonus: Their babysitter was the minister
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Honey, would you see who's at the front door? OH CRAP
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
You like that pasta? Good. How about that yummy cake? Great. Here, try this bread. Like it? Cool. Guess what, they're all made with crickets. Here, use this
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Scientists determine that to look fashionable, you must dress like a hipster
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this humble guy
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(12 News Now)
 
 
 
News: Newton County, Texas Sheriff Eddie Shannon turns himself in after a warrant for his arrest was issued. Fark: After threatening to shoot all the officials at a commissioners court meeting and saying he wouldn't investigate the shootings
source: 12newsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til you get charged with second-degree disorderly conduct and first-degree criminal trespass
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: When breaking into a house, do not make pot-laced brownies at said house
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Woman is shocked, SHOCKED that a limo company that she booked a deal with using a coupon would cancel her ride and take a full paying customer instead
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
SeaWorld forced to become "whale truthers" in light of increased public and PETA scrutiny
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
The NYPD gets caught on video choking someone to death. Do you A) conduct a thorough internal investigation, B) fire the police officers involved or C) arrest the guy who recorded the whole thing?
source: 7online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Finally, a landlord who understands you
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The terrorists have discovered eggnog
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WECT Wilmington)
 
 
 
The day will come when you find yourself standing naked under the midday sun on a road near Monkey Junction. When that day comes, and it most definitely will, don't spit blood at the police
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
The first weekend of August is here, and Chicago only had nineteen people wounded by gunshots and only two dead in gun violence. Looks like gun progress has come to Chiraq
source: voices.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
This just in: Children don't want to eat their vegetables while at school, just like they don't want to eat them at the dinner table
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this drill crew
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
An Amtrak train leaves New York City at 9AM, headed for Washington DC without its passengers. How long does it take before the conductor is fired?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Death toll in powerful Chinese earthquake rises to 0.0000109974% of its population
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Somebody had British people fill in all of their American stereotypes on maps of the US. Come for MS: "Named by a cat walking across a keyboard", stay for RI: "Tiny; Stoned Students; Not a real place; Not in Rhodes; Not an Island"
source: liberalamerica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Scottish pioneer creates haggis nachos to transform national food into symbol of both tradition and change. "Scotland is not about old white men in kilts stirring pots to make haggis. My team is multicultural. We use state-of-the-art equipment"
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Israel National News)
 
 
 
Jewish visitors arrested at Auschwitz for singing "the song of hope" that Jews in the camps sung to defy the Nazis. Is it 1943 again?
source: israelnationalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo News Now)
 
 
 
Toledo water crisis, day two bugaloo: still can't consume city water, but healthy adults can shower provided they have a healthy liver. Whew, that was a close one. LGT water distribution information
source: toledonewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Humpback Whales appear in Monterey Bay, ask passersby if the nuclear wessels are still in Alameda
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this passel o' possums
source: pixdaus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Married couple finds photo of themselves playing on the beach as children ... 11 years before they met
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"A man's desire to take ever more impressive selfies and other snaps of himself to post on social media caused his death when he tried to pose with a live gun - and shot himself in the head"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ginny Weasley arrested for vandalizing a car with $3,000 worth of mascara damage. Somehow she could afford a little extra mascara for her tear stained cheeks. Surprising for a Weasley
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKOW Madison)
 
 
 
Duck Hunt
source: wkow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
European gardeners forced to buy collision insurance before they are allowed to use ride-on lawnmowers on their own property
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cryptozoology News)
 
 
 
Video shows mystery beast roaming the streets of Los Angeles suburb: "And I heard about it and I was like...what? And I've been thinking about it...I was afraid to go outside. It looks like a dog, but has pointy ears that lions have...I don't know"
source: cryptozoologynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You can now be buried in a custom-made Jack Daniels bottle (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
The moral of this story is never be nice to anyone, ever
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Just when police thought they had finally loosened the Mafia's historical stranglehold over Sicily, a new generation of brash mobsters is reclaiming the streets of Palermo - and bragging about it on Facebook" (pics)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this subtle message
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Bernardino Sun)
 
 
 
I saw a 150 pound turtle
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Woman who fled to Mexico because she thought she would be "untouchable" there after she took part in the murder of a 14-year-old boy is deported back to California after being caught by police in Tijuana
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
My Petting Zoo in Scottsdale, Arizona welcomes an ugly-ass baby Geep (offspring of a female sheep and a goat) named Butterfly
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til you eat your roommate's last Chips Ahoy
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Local government taking too long to repair damaged road? Just rent a farmer's field and build your own toll road
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CityLab)
 
 
 
Free parking is actually quite costly
source: citylab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
A group of 11 black men drove a truck through the front door of KY Fashions and stole dozens of hair extensions before fleeing the scene. Police said to be on the lookout for 11 black men with beautiful hair
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Another reason to lose weight: "The more a man's fattening belly grows outward, 'the more it eats their penis.'" Subby hasn't seen his own penis in five years, but he's got a really confused boner right now
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Here are a list of states that will allow one to practice law without a law degree
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Lose your cellphone in the lake while on a fishing trip with friends? Why not drain the pond to try and recover it?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
The Juneau Police Department is looking for a group of five or six kids, ranging from 7 to 13 years old that made a bomb out of a backpack, two bottles of Axe body spray and a can of Old Spice to set off an explosion behind a middle school
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man shot several times while filming a rap video because the group couldn't agree as to which one of them was the star
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents. 2 hours of amazing music hosted live by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's not news when two boxers get into a fight with one another, but it is when it happens at an Italian restaurant over a plate of spaghetti
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
In America, most of us love our Jesus but we're also thankful he wasn't born here cause the headline woulda' certainly read, "Woman arrested for leaving newborn baby in trash can of business," and that woulda been awkward
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
The Book of Love says that after calling your new girlfriend by your ex-wife's name you should promptly throw her pet raccoon against the nearest wall
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat August 02, 2014
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Marion Barry involved in wrong-way crash in DC. Ditch set him up
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Local news station runs story based on cell phone video claiming mom left kids in hot car to get her hair cut. The same video shows the mom begging strangers for help after locking her keys in the car. You'd better believe that's a lawsuit
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Waco Tribune)
 
 
 
Texas firearms instructor successfully executes plan to teach family members peril of being careless with their guns, "accidentally" shoots himself in hand during lesson
source: wacotrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Roof of the world collapses
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Confirmed case of Ebola in Atlanta
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop these medieval stoners
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smoking hot 20-year-old model who previously lived as a boy sets sights on Miss World despite death threats: "I'd love to help other confused girls and boys who are scared to be themselves. Nobody should be ashamed to be who they want to be" (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farm Futures)
 
 
 
Beef prices won't even start to come down until late 2015 and pork not until at least late this year. Your dog wants steak, but is stuck settling for chicken
source: farmfutures.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Last week: Naked blue Smurfs in Times Square. This week: Central Park Underpants Run. Slightly Not Safe For Work for those of you unfortunate to have to work on Saturday instead of running around in your underwear
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Worst. Robbery. Ever
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Uptight vegan demands to know how it is possible to "love an adult who eats like a child." Because apparently putting ketchup on hot dogs, ketchup on eggs, only wanting cheese pizza, and eating lettuce only on a salad is "childish"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Remember that three-story "she cave" closet house? Turns out on the same night the owner happened to forget to arm the security system and even lock the door, burglars arrived and spent 40 minutes stealing $800K - $1M worth of stuff
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Disney Union votes to approve minimum wage for employees
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
You know all those research studies that show how divorce screws up kids? Yeah, about that
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greeley Tribune)
 
 
 
Prize-winning goat reported missing from county fair, no information on whether it was to be used for any fraternity rituals
source: greeleytribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
We've hit peak bacon, people. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hot towel job
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Geraldo Rivera arrested for fatal hit & run in Tampa. Charges for reckless reporting still pending
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Guinness finally working on making a tolerable beer
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
Crazy 26 year old who lives with his mom and his gun collection says he is going to kill Obama even if it takes a lifetime. Police say it will take at least until he gets out of jail
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The little league barbecue is later today and I need to make a side dish. I'm feeling uninspired. What is something that the kids will love? I started looking for ideas and no kid wants a tomato and onion salad
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Old and busted: birthday cake. New hotness: $900 birthday cupcake
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this clown guy
source: i2.wp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Apartment maintenance worker enters your home and digs through your stuff? Seems legit. No crime committed here, Mr. Citizen
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWCH Wichita)
 
 
 
It may be Caturday, but that does not means dogs can get special recognition. This lab that walked 30 miles to get a new home has now been adopted
source: kwch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
300 rats removed from Ohio apartment now up for adoption by rat rescue group. In other news, there are rat rescue groups
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Book him, Dan-O
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Before the Buy Fair Trade Coffee movement, enjoying a morning cup of coffee wasn't so complicated
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Marijuana activist claims responsibility for placing white flags on top of the Brooklyn Bridge. He could have gotten away with it since most people pegged it as the work of the French
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Apartment complex residents find large rattlesnake, proceed to film a PSA on how NOT to handle a rattlesnake
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 New York)
 
 
 
Cops break into locked car, save a helpless baby... doll
source: 7online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
If you're planning public nakedness in Sweden here are some simple rules to follow. (SFW and deslided for your comfort)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Mother of five who was mocked for her stretch marks while on a public beach takes a pregnant pause and then responds to her critics
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you ever get bitten by a brown recluse spider, keep in mind that no matter how bad it hurts at that moment, in 24 hours it's going to hurt a hell of a lot more
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy who won't take Wu for an answer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo News Now)
 
 
 
Toledo area FARKers: WATER ADVISORY. Don't drink it, boil it, or even shower in it. Well, the last part is a stretch, but you never know. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: toledonewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
Make no bones about it, the "Killing Caves" of the Khmer Rouge is an emotionally powerful tourist destination
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
No don't take my bukkit
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Paul the cat scratches one off his bucket list, climbs one of Colorado's 14ers. Hey, I can see Caturday from here
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hello and welcome back to your late-summer episode of the Fark Weird News Quiz. Remember your answers, so you can do well on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me when it airs
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
If you are running for Governor, try not to be caught "getting lost" at 4:30am in an industrial park with a woman not your wife
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It's the question men have asked since the dawn of time: Should I go to the beach or build a swimming pool in my living room?
source: victoria.dailystar-uk.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cumberland Sentinel)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture cracks down on the menace of unregulated seed libraries, thus rescuing the state from going full Somalia - too late for Philadishu, however
source: cumberlink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
French hospital is planning on building a wine bar with the hope it will improve the quality of day-to-day existence of patients both terminal and short term
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til you piss off the the wrong otter
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bristol waste recycling plant would like to advise their customers that they do not currently have a Soylent Green production facility. It would appear one customer is not aware of this fact
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY 2 Greensboro)
 
 
 
When you break into a store and tell police you got "locked in the bathroom overnight" its best not to be found surrounded by empty beer bottles, cigarette butts, and open cookie boxes
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri August 01, 2014
(io9)
 
 
 
Father builds son a Apollo 13 simulator with LED readouts, rumble speaker, and a robot arm deploying satellites; USS Flagg sits in large corner as recovery ship
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evening Express)
 
 
 
Airport ground crew fix helicopter's broken wheel ... as it hovers 8ft above them
source: eveningexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Woman finds IKEA bags stuffed with 80 human skeletons. No word on if she was able to assemble them without having to call the support line
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Parents of the year hire woman as surrogate mother of twins, take healthy girl home but ditch boy that has Down syndrome and congenital heart defect in foreign country
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
"The problem with Ebola for the more sensational sections of the media is that it's too good a scare story to pass up"
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
The inventor of the cronut inches mankind closer to sugary destruction with 'ice cream sundae in a can'
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Daily running doesn't have any real health benefits
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Tribe emerges from Brazilian jungle for first time ever. Hears about Kardashians, runs back into jungle
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vox)
 
 
 
If you're gonna get shot, it's better to be naked, presumably because it makes for a better Fark headline
source: vox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Old & busted: Fighting fire with fire. New hotness: Fighting monkeys with monkey impersonators
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Herald)
 
 
 
Mayor of Calgary criticized for lacking comprehensive peace plan for Middle Eastern conflicts
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bee
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Eric Garner's Death Ruled a Homicide
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Inadvertent photobomb leads to what surely must be the most amusing wedding pictures ever
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
Nice going Chip - way to screw it up for the rest of us by becoming the new poster child for those who constantly tell us cats are smarter than dogs
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Conservative Kentucky judge says black defendant wearing Obama t-shirt is "lucky to get out of her courtroom alive"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Come on, everyone knows it isn't assault if you allow a floor to buffer your shots at a family member
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kyiv Post)
 
 
 
Ukraine takes more losses in the worst game of Capture the Flag ever
source: kyivpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Cocaine worth $1M goes missing from 'locked and sealed room' at police headquarters in Paris
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
LAPD calls shotgun
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
British town takes action against seagulls "led into a life of crime" by older birds
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
There's "drunk" driving - and then there's "drunk driving a dump truck with the box up - taking out scaffolding on a bridge and causing major structural damage that requires a major highway to be closed down for days/weeks"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Old-and-busted: 226 year old tiny town in Virginia, with ties to Thomas Jefferson and Marquis de Lafayette. New hotness: Using internet crowdfunding to save itself
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Poughkeepsie Journal)
 
 
 
102-year-old man dies. Fark: crashing his ATV
source: poughkeepsiejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Men who think outside the box asked to draw vaginas
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tackler and tacklee
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Semi-trailer crash covers interstate 465 in butter. Police looking for any witnesses who may have seen Paula Deen fleeing the scene
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Children fleeing violence in Honduras are being sent to Chicago. They'll feel right at home
source: politics.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Selfie = photo of myself. Usie = photo of us. Belfie = photo of my butt. Felfie = Fark, I really can't take much more of this
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Indiana man wins $1 million lottery twice in three months, hopes to fulfill lifelong dream of getting out of Indiana
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Are "homosexuals merely commie pawns" in an effort to destroy America? We're just asking
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The current mess in the Middle East just got a bit more confusing as Arab states line up against Hamas
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Ten things to know about the invasive fire ants currently on the march through the American southeast. 1) Get out of their way. 2) See number one
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Obvious: Grand Wizard of KKK chapter calls for the shooting of refugee children coming across the border. Fark: He's asking for black people to ally with the KKK to get this done
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sharknado 2 lasted longer than the latest cease-fire in Gaza
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
1) Cooking dinner; 2) Having sex; 3) Pooping. Which way would you rather die? It's probably going to be one of those, so you might as well go ahead and pick one now
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Winners of the 2014 National Geographic photo contest. Meet your new wallpapers
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVEC)
 
 
 
Elderly Texas woman refuses to sell her house to a new development, points a shotgun at construction workers, and gets in standoff on her porch with the police. Neighbor: "I knew she was going to be on the news eventually"
source: wvec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ebola-infected doctor gave his only dose of an experimental treatment to his Ebola-infected coworker
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
You've heard about the Human Barbie, now here's the human Ken who spent $50,000 on plastic surgery to look like his favorite toy (w/ creepy pics that will haunt your dreams)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Trendy hotel's floor-to-ceiling windows reveals patrons on toilet. Where? Come on, you get one guess
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The annual Perseid meteor shower will be its usual bust starting this weekend
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CrushPlate)
 
 
 
Thieves steal a RV trailer and find out the Texas way that the owner was fast asleep in the back
source: crushplate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Mysterious lake that suddenly appeared in a drought-stricken region of Tunisia last month is being hailed a miracle by locals. Tests now show the lake is radioactive
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
American couple calls police the day after they were overcharged for ice cream and water. If only there were a menu with the prices lis...oh wait, there was
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
For some reason if you were famous it used to be considered an honor to allow some artist to depict you with overly-exaggerated eyes and lips and hang it up in an exclusive restaurant
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Your silly octagonal red signs can't hold me back - I'm Sovereign
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 5)
 
 
 
Woman who went on 98 dates in nine months sums up: "I grew up in Minnesota and we had a state fair. The pigs, the cows, the horses would all be paraded for their blue ribbon. When I date, I feel that I am the pig, the cow or the horse" (pic)
source: channel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Ken Ham wants NASA's search for extraterrestrial life defunded so more creationist museums can be built, because Jesus wasn't a Klingon. Well, duh, Klingon Jesus was Kahless The Unforgettable, who slew the tyrant Molor with the first bat'leth
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Man provides logical explanation for why he put needles in packaged meat on at least seven occasions. It was "just for the hell of it." "It was stupidity. I didn't want to hurt nobody"
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Grumpy Cat is building an empire, plans to not fail like the Ottomans or Napoleon did
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Biloxi Sun Herald)
 
 
 
Mississippi Supreme Court disciplines judge after she sent three 15-year-olds to a juvenile home to be strip searched, drug tested, and have a three-day stay. Their alleged crime? Walking through a woman's yard (they were later found not guilty)
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Fisherman catches delicious orange and blue lobster. The odds? 1 in 50 million
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
John Kerry and Ban Ki-moon successfully negotiate a 120-minute truce in Gaza
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
If you lock your child in a car accidentally, you can easily break the windows by hitting the lower left-hand corner with a hard object. They are designed that way. This guy didn't know that, but he did have a baseball bat
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When you are flying over the Atlantic at 35,000ft, please refrain from punching the window so hard it cracks. It freaks out the other passengers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Commercial airplane passengers could soon be issued parachutes along with their boarding passes. You know, just because
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
I've never seen a man with so many chickens in his SUV. I've never seen a man with so many chickens in his SUV. I've never seen a man with so many chickens in his SUV. I've never seen a man with so many chickens in his SUV
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tech-savvy trucker
source: media.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Remember when you could borrow a baggie of sugar from your neighbors without everyone in the apartment complex assuming you were buying drugs? "It's sad you can't give people sugar or salt or baking soda because the color is white"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Glow-in-the-dark ice cream. New Hotness: Ice cream that changes colors as you eat it
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A breakdown of who's still smoking in the United States. Hmmm... confused and mostly uneducated Millennials with identity issues? *check link* Yup
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese farmer lynches Elmo doll, erects innovative scarecrow that will chase away all crows, all humans under 4
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Unable to wait patiently for ebola to make its way to the US naturally, the CDC decides to import it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman is shocked, SHOCKED that someone would dress in scrubs with a stethoscope around their neck and pretend to be a home health nurse in order to steal and pawn thousands in jewelry
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu July 31, 2014
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The London Zoo is being investigated because naked drunken guests have repeatedly tried to enter animal enclosures during lucrative after-hours parties that are putting the animals' welfare in danger
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Beer milkshakes now availble in Philadelphia. John Steinbeck would be proud
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Cop gets job back after claiming boner cream tainted his drug test. Riiiiiiight
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
A bridge's weight limit is more of a guideline than a rule. Most of the time
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
How to have Cybersex on the Internet. A useful guide from 1997. (Not safe for work)
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Women in China are banding together and showing a strong sense of solidarity. Fark: With selfies of their unshaven armpits
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
This broadcast booth is just waiting for you to photoshop something happening
source: media.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
CIA admits its agents improperly searched Senate computers. Don't worry, though, they'd never illegally monitor ordinary civilians, that would be wrong
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What's the only thing more dangerous than using a cell phone while driving? Using two
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Sideshow Bob arrested for trying to burn down his ex-girlfriend's house
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Sex offender inmate claims he's being punished for watching HBO, says he's not some filthy Lannister
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Your new global warming term: 'nuisance flooding' from high tides - which has increased 325 percent in the city of Norfolk. Surf's up in your backyard
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
You know who's not on American paper dollars? Women. Specifically, Kim Kardashian
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Father of the year candidate takes his son to the zoo and records it for memories as he lets him climb over a safety barrier to pet a tiger. Since this is Fark you know what happened next
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Somehow, the global economy is destroying the demand for electricity. Which is ironic, considering we're all reading this on a computer, tablet, or smartphone powered by said electricity
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Random act of... flamingos
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When your teacher tells you to keep your arms inside the bus, you LISTEN
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Dallas/Fort Worth ranks third on list of top tourism destinations in the U.S. Apparently, tourists are enthralled with Dealey Plaza, the Stockyards, and miles and miles and miles of homogenous urban sprawl
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Time to break out the steak prep to show off the goods. When it's time to do it up, how do you make a steak? Difficulty: Not a strip, T-bone, or ribeye
source: thesouthinmymouth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
News: Rare three-tusked walrus discovered. Alaska: and immediately eaten by locals
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this explosive reeinactment
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFAB Omaha)
 
 
 
Toothmarks gave rogue dentist away
source: kfab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nursing home resident suing police for taking her hostage during a training exercise and failing to mention it was a training exercise
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Chester Daily Local)
 
 
 
The rapist sentenced to 7 to 14 years in prison
source: dailylocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Surprising almost no one, almost every fact the federal government relies upon to argue against legalizing marijuana is completely wrong. What the hell are they smoking?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Air passenger demands parachute and cigarettes before attacking cabin crew with prosthetic leg. Yes, drink was involved officer
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBT Mishawaka)
 
 
 
Man dies after crashing his car into a bee-infested house, David Spade seen running from the scene
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
For £330, your ass can be just as pretty as your face (Some images might be Not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Judge tells world's worst pot grower to find a job he's better at than the drug trade: "I think you should seriously consider taking up another occupation because you are not very good at this one"
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Between 2009 and 2011, armed IRS agents fired their guns accidentally more often than they fired their guns on purpose
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NowGamer)
 
 
 
Sony selling so many PS4s that if you slipped XBox One sales into the figures, it would look like an accounting error
source: nowgamer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Small Wars Journal)
 
 
 
In a way, ISIS has solved Iraq's constitutional crisis
source: smallwarsjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Charlotte)
 
 
 
Liberian Official: We can't control the Ebola outbreak so....EVERYBODY PANIC
source: charlotte.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Scene)
 
 
 
♫Aruba, Jamaica oooh I wanna take you, to Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama, Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go, oooh I wanna take you down to Roofie Island♫
source: clevescene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Scientists just can't admit giant ice worms causing unexplained holes in Siberia
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Latest use for drones? Flying contraband items over prison walls
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
For the woman in your life who has everything - vibrating Kegel exerciser/game controller
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Oh look - it's a gigantic sky penis (SFW)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Sketch of man wanted for rape looks a lot like the 'sexy mug shot guy' in jail across the country
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
"The internet lost one of its most famous, influential, and important dogs yesterday. RIP Benny the boxer"
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
"Activists in South Korea have sent bundles of banned chocolate snacks across the border to the North via a series of helium balloons. Choco Pies are a South Korean chocolate snack filled with marshmallow, somewhat similar to Wagon Wheels"
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The hottest tourism destination is Ukraine, where for £50 a day, you get a tour of the war zone including an armed guard for an escort and your very own body armor
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Have we reached peak burger?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man starts sexual relationship with underage girl he met at church. Apparently, God had a problem with it
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 29 Charlottesville)
 
 
 
$200k for an aborted beer run? I'll take it
source: nbc29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYCHA is putting homeless families ahead of domestic violence victims on public housing waiting lists. It's probably too soon for another Tick reference, isn't it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Public Library)
 
 
 
Sex manual returned to library after 54 years ... too late to save patron's marriage
source: nypl.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Your winning lottery numbers are 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
When you find yourself trying to coax a barefoot burglar down from a tree, water and electronic cigarettes aren't going to work. You need beer and real cigarettes. This is a rule
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Martha's Vineyard Times)
 
 
 
Police chief orders highway department to post illegal speed limit. Again
source: mvtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Today is National Orgasm Day. Have a good one
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When the only way the cops can describe how drunk you were when they arrested you is "off the Richter scale" because your blood-alcohol level was five times the legal limit, you may have a problem (mugshot)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
We've learned some more about the American suicide bomber. Dude was basically a whiny teenager from a gated community in Florida
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence: I told my mother I was joining a dating website. She was curious and started checking it out. She is now pretending to be a 28 year-old woman and is catfishing a guy. And I'm not getting a single message. What do I do?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Diplomat)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dirty peeper
source: thediplomat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Who knew Instagram geo-tagged every selfie you uploaded? OK, apart from this Russian Buk missile technician
source: businessinsider.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Scientist who helped discover Ebola: "I would sit next to an Ebola sufferer on the subway." Once
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Southern Guy)
 
 
 
Fark y'all
source: relaxandspeak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
Not news: Man decides to commit suicide. News: And has the gun in his mouth, ready to pull the trigger when his girlfriend hits him in the head with the butt of another gun. Fark: Making him accidentally pull the trigger shooting her instead
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AATTP.org)
 
 
 
Republicans are creating difficulty in honoring a pinko Commie librul piece of scum--the Pope
source: aattp.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
This is why we cannot smoke nice things
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
37 arrests in the last 30 days, 202 arrests since January, a man driving off with a officer hanging off his truck after shoplifting and another man dressed as a woman stealing 18 flat-screen TVs. Welcome to America's most dysfunctional Walmart
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How do you like to grill your steak? a) Cast iron skillet b) charcoal grill c) liquid hot "magma"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
In case you ever wondered what 29 sumo wrestlers crammed into a tiny plane looked like
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Michigan woman gives zoo the middle finger
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Family on a flight from Beijing to Detroit encourage their child to take a dump on his chair instead of in the bathroom
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNYC)
 
 
 
Five years after giving laptops to school kids, Hoboken scraps the whole thing. Anybody want 10,000 used laptops?
source: wnyc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
The summer wouldn't be complete without another person having a barbecue grill brush wire surgically removed from their throat
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 482: "Distant Horizons". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed July 30, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Every marriage has its speed bumps, such as a drunk husband
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical News Today)
 
 
 
Subby consumes twice as many fruits and vegetables as necessary, unless beer only counts as half a fruit, in which case he's right on target
source: medicalnewstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
How's my driving? Call 1-800-HATCHET
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The top Ebola doctor in Sierra Leone is now bloody useless
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Company that produces "pink slime" beef that was banned from the market after unfavorable media coverage discovers a way to solve all their problems: Sue the bejesus out of every journalist who wrote bad things about them
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Teacher fired from Utah language school because "homophone" promotes a gay agenda and aren't aloud to be taut
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Women finally realize that male strippers are gross
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
Woman spots the wedding dress given up for lost during Hurricane Sandy in her dry cleaner's window when the store finally reopens ... in a new location
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syfy)
 
 
 
Welcome to your Sharknado 2: The Second One discussion thread. You waited a year for some more chainsaws, angry flying sharks and bad menstrual jokes. Tune in to SyFy at 9 ET/8c and you will be richly rewarded
source: syfy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this young bicycle painter
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Abe Lincoln killed in Ford's Theater, Jonathan Strack killed over a Ford Explorer. Coincidence? I think not
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"Ladies and gentlemen, as we start our descent, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are in their full upright position, also make sure that anything that might be detected by drug-sniffing dogs is flushed down the loo"
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Fomrer Va Gov. Bob McDonnell seems to be resting his legal defense on the theory that his wife was a greedy grasping biatch who shook down those wealthy businessmen all on her own and he didn't know nuthin' about it
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Three, maybe four farkers will remember P.O.P., Pacific Ocean Park, the great amusement park pier in Santa Monica that opened in 58 and closed in 67. But those farkers? They're my homies
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Wildlife "sanctuary" under fire for pimping out animals for parties, including alligators to put in your pool, so that your kids can swim with them. Owner claims nothing wrong with it, or dressing like Hulk Hogan in drag
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Dita Von Teese has debuted a maternity collection. That's pretty hot, girl I'm going to get you pregnant.. er
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
To help scientists find a cure for cancer, man pushes a sprout up a mountain with his nose
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
Protip: If you plan to rob a bank and escape on foot, be sure you have the physical ability to run more than a couple of blocks
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Online following grows around black-clad woman walking from Georgia to Ohio, with "fans" waiting to listen to her yell about the masons, the pentagon, and Jesus
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
So it turns out that Europe has been paying ransom money to Al-Qaeda for years now
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Don't text and drive, you might spill your beer
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Morning in West Virginia: birds chirping, a gentle breeze, and a woman taking her naked guy out for a walk on his leash
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"I love you more than all the world and have no hope of reward on earth or hereafter, so precious as that in your dear arms, in your thrilling lips, in your matchless breasts, signed, Warren G. Hardon
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Cop stops driver to give him a speeding ticket, settles for heart attack instead
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual statue
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PsyPost)
 
 
 
Scientists discover assholes -- excuse me, "Homo economicus" -- really exist in wealthy Tokyo suburbs
source: psypost.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Lois Lerner criticized GOP as "Crazies," "Assholes" in emails. Is it a scandal if it's true?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
Woman pulls Glock on Comcast serviceman after he tries to leave without fixing connection
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Well that's just great: Russian insurgents have planted mines all over the MH17 crash site
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(China Daily)
 
 
 
Nanjing real estate agent creates haunted-house database listing local properties that were site of murder, suicide, or unnatural death, with intent of forestalling disputes where buyer did not know they were buying a haunted house
source: usa.chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Watch a cocoa farmer try chocolate for the first time
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Global warming is bad for Alaska's economy because it negatively impacts the state's unique landscape. Global warming is good for Alaska's economy because it extends the summer cruise ship season by two weeks
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you thought British drivers sucked before, just wait 'til January
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Naked man arrested for masturbating outside an apartment complex. Residents glad the police finally hauled this jerk off
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Man trying to be the next great supervillian robs a gas station wearing plastic bags over his head and arms
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted your own military landing craft the Army is auctioning one off this week. Bidding is up to $45 (with pics of future Fark Party Barge)
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(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Online dating sites falling victims to sextortionists
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Classics scholar forced to watch Hercules says that the Rock's portrayal is neither historically or mythologically accurate, that at no time did Hercules ask if anyone could smell what he was cookin'
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Space Ghost haunts abandoned New Jersey pharmaceutical companies. No word on grumpy mantis sidekicks
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Liberia closes airports. Disease arrives in Nigeria. Sierra Leone closes airports. Liberia bans public gatherings. Guinea begins handing out face masks. You have 18 DNA points
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Heavy drinking during middle age leads to ... something something
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
No one is quite sure how these four elephants wound up addicted to heroin, but it probably started with a gateway drug like pot. Bales of pot
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
So tell me again, how many concept meetings did your baby toy company have before deciding that fake prescription bottles filled with candy was a winning idea?
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Red Robin unveils 'Monster' burger, which when combined with a 'Monster' shake and endless fries, comes in at 3540 calories, 69 grams of saturated fat, and 6280 mg of sodium. One of your arteries just closed off from reading this headline
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you've never heard of Cat island, it's off the coast of Japan, cats outnumber people and every day is Caturday (pics)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
L. Skywalker's passport application rejected. Looks like I'm going nowhere... I'm gonna finish cleaning those 'droids
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
FBI had errors in 17 death penalty cases. Ooops
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Apparently using your own property how you see fit is absolutely horrible and should be stopped at all costs. Yes, it's in San Francisco, how did you know?
source: valleywag.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Just another day in Michigan - Joggers by the lake, kids in the park, an armed man high on acid at a pizza place wearing only a towel
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(WTKR)
 
 
 
Not news: Two women decide to walk across a 80-foot-high railroad bridge. News: When a train comes they both lie down in the middle of the tracks. Fark: And somehow survive but probably needed a change of underwear (with video)
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(YouTube)
 
 
 
Sum Ting Wong, We Tu Low have a new friend. Louis Slungpue of the DWP providing expert analysis that a cherry bomb caused the 10m gallon water break at UCLA
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
While low-income families desperately waited for assistance, CHA held back millions of dollars in subsidies, all so they could write their name on the moon with a giant laser
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Jesse Ventura wins $1.8 million in defamation suit against Navy SEAL's estate, figures this win will give him the financial security to have time to bleed
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(Military.com)
 
 
 
The US military has a new contractor for shipping service member's personal vehicles when they get stationed overseas. Let's look in and see how that's going. "Unequivocally we have not lost any vehicles, they are in the system somewhere"
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(My Fox Orlando)
 
 
 
Police arrest a 16 year-old boy in the middle of a crime spree, charge him with six felony burglary counts. Way to make a case for year-round schooling, jackass
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Caption this mouthy fella
source: 38.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you're going to swap counterfeit money for real money at your job, at least make sure the fakes are good enough that Bojangles employees can't spot them immediately
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
I've squatted before and I'll squat again. By the way, thanks for the 40 Grand Kickstart suckers
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Boss of Germany's biggest soccer club can't come to US for club's summer tour because of visa system crash
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Plastic surgeon being sued by a woman whose before picture he used to highlight the unsightly presence of a "cocaine nose"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Body of an apparent stowaway found in the wheel well of a U.S. Air Force C-130. Allows your crazy uncle to merge his Ebola-spreading and border-crossing rants into one doomsday scenario
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Police officer uses his flashing lights and loudspeaker while a) pursuing bank robbers, b) escorting a pregnant woman to the hospital, or c) going drunkenly through the drive-through at White Castle late at night?
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
I'm a lesbian marrying a man. I'm not a heterosexual. I am not a bisexual. I am still a lesbian. A pregnant lesbian. And marrying the man I fell in love with. Stop oppressing me. Seriously. You're doing it again
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
We interrupt Gaza, the US border, Syria, Ukraine, Iraq, and Afghanistan to bring you North Korea
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this camel caravan
source: gibiskys.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Only in 'Merica could an attempt to serve an eviction notice lead to an intense standoff with the SWAT team
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Toys 'R' Us sells a girl doll that pees, no one cares, it's all part of the plan. Sell an anatomically correct boy doll with a penis, and everyone loses their minds (possibly not safe for work product image in article)
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Hobby Lobby fires pregnant employee who requested time off so she could give birth
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
What's the deal with the ship found under the 9/11 ruins? HERE COMES THE SCIENCE
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games 'til you get so drunk that eating potato chips off the floor of a train seems like a good idea
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Topless ✔ Drunk in public ✔ Pants around ankles ✔ Yelling slurred words at police ✔ 'Wanna party with me?' mugshot ✔ Yep, just another normal day in Fark's favorite state
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Insurance Company: "Sorry 16 year old kid with cancer, but we're not paying for your dentures because you can live without teeth. Next"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Vegan's ILVTOFU vanity plate rejected because nobody reading that would believe that someone loves tofu
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(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
"The Crying Game" meets "Fight Club"
source: southtownstar.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Online diploma mills. New hotness: Online service animal certification mills, so that you can take your pet with you anywhere, and due to regulations, nobody is allowed to question the validity
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue July 29, 2014
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when a tornado rips through your place and dumps all the stuff you stole from your neighbors onto your front lawn where they can see it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
When tipping at a restaurant, tipping 15 percent or 20 percent is just fine, But a $43,239.92 tip on an $8 meal is a little excessive
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(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Agoraphobics on disability because they can't leave the house shouldn't post photos of their beach vacations to Goa
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
With the U.S. prison population up by 430 percent from 1978 and 2009, isn't it time we start to weed out the stoners from the prisons?
source: blogs.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Last surviving Enola Gay crewman touches the face of God
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Jumped on trampoline, bruised penis
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Never go full George Costanza
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
It gets annoying after a while when the Prince of Darkness keeps sending you text messages just because you performed a failed exorcism on a teenage girl
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMZ Allentown)
 
 
 
New Jersey shows that wedding brawls aren't just for Florida anymore
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Tennis Match: Tunnel Edition. Ready... set... go
source: art-on.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Here's mud in your eye
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
It's all perfectly logical, see: coal was given to Alabama by God, thus any attempts to regulate it is a violation of God's will, say Alabama public officials
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Private lenders: Sorry your kid died, but we want our student loan money. Oh, and here's 0% interest to make it all better
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these brave divers
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Birds sunbathe to spread vital oils across their bodies and to help to drive out any parasites that may be feeding on their plumage. Just like the cast of Jersey Shore
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New letters show that, despite outward appearances, Lincoln was actually every bit as nervous a public speaker as Obama without his teleprompter
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
More than 40 percent of all British people would refuse to travel if they didn't have a smuggled jar of Marmite with them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiegogo)
 
 
 
Stone Brewing Co is selling future W00tstout production to raise money for its Berlin Germany expansion. Almost sold out looks like. Bonus Drew in the thread talking about beer
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Having kids is a challenge-- they're picky eaters, daycare is expensive, and what's a mom to do with them when she's trying to get to the threesome at her apartment building's public hot tub?
source: yourwestvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Climate Central)
 
 
 
June, 2014 was the hottest month ever recorded on Planet Earth. This is all Al Gore's fault
source: climatecentral.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Q: What happens when a beer snob is forced to drink fruit beer? A: He discovers he's not as much of a beer snob as he thought. Not as much of a man, either
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(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
George Zimmerman now working night security, because of course he is and also Florida
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC7 San Francisco)
 
 
 
Refund from local car dealership forces woman to count her pennies
source: abc7news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Scary: Woman kidnapped by her ex. Sad: Will be set free if she can get $25,000. Fark: And give the money to the police for bail
source: thefreethoughtproject.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Experiment with OKCupid profiles confirms that you can be a really beautiful person inside but that doesn't matter because nobody can see it in your profile picture and so nobody cares
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"La Fin Du Topless Sur La Plage?"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Concealed carry permit holder shoots at fleeing bank robber, forcing legitimate cop to take cover and cease pursuit
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Massive hole found in the US border, and it's not our immigration policy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The only thing spreading faster than Ebola in Africa are the conspiracy theories about why Ebola is a CIA-manufactured weapon to reduce the population of Africa
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The only thing classier than getting married in a Superman costume while your bride wears a Wonder Woman costume are the wedding photos from your special day
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man who lost his hand to fireworks says he will stay upbeat and keep grabbing life by the throat, though not with both hands as before
source: livewellnebraska.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Clowns involved in one-car auto accident. Dozens injured
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
We get it. You're trying to prove some kind of point about the Second Amendment by going into an airport carrying a rifle just to buy some coffee. But could you watch where you're pointing that thing?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Pootie Poot says Obama is making him feel bad and he may just take his polonium and go home
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Russia violated nuclear treaty. Difficulty: in 1988
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lightning strike feels like being cooked in a microwave, says man who has been struck 10 times and cooked in a microwave
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter