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Sun May 25, 2014
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Those TSA full-body scanners designed to protect airports that were pulled out because people were too sensitive? They're now being used in prisons to ensure prisoners aren't possessing contraband
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Man dies after coffee machine fell on top of him. Friends described him as always being good 'til the last drop
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Do you believe that Jesus, Buddha, Krishna and Confucius were all from outer space? Do you follow a man named George King, a cabbie who was told to climb 19 holy mountains by "cosmos intelligence"? Then this is for you (Not safe for work images at bottom of page)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ukraine is now Chocolate Nation
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
A short but sweet look at miniskirts. It's BBC so it must be cultural
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
Ten restaurants Fark foodies love to hate. Deslided for your questionable viewing pleasure
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Going above and beyond at your job is irrelevant and actually impresses no one that matters
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
End Mass Incarceration Now
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radikal Foto)
 
 
 
Photoshop this homework hating kid
source: i024.radikal.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Kim we wish was ruling North Korea is living it up and thumbing his nose at his little brother as he dodges his assassination attempts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Pic of Japanese schoolchildren sitting on dirty floor of crowded commuter train causes uproar. "You never know what's going to cause a mini Twitter storm in this day and age"
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Mother Nature Network: "Make your own natural body lotion" FARK: "Thanks, already on it"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Secondary school staff in England are shocked, SHOCKED that students would write inappropriate things in their yearbook responses and are even driving students to their homes during exams to retrieve the yearbooks to burn them
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Missing kayaker loved the water. Perhaps a little too much
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Success story: Cuban immigrant receives US citizenship. Fark: 50 years after he immigrated, served in the US military, held two state and two federal jobs and voted in every election since 1976
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these polite presidents
source: s.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Orlando Sentinel links to Breaking News that Six Flags is coming to Florida. Makes it lead story. Fails to read the linked article or the comments. Hey, at least they didn't quote The Onion. (but close)
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Dating Specialist)
 
 
 
In this online edition of Cosmo for Men: "10 Playful Teases That Women Secretly Love". Yeah... not so much
source: thedatingspecialist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Three dead, one injured in Myrtle Beach SC shooting. Another day, another mass shooting...so it goes. FARK: There were only two homicides there in all of 2013
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Say what you will about the Russians, but all they need for the perfect party is some good friends, cold drinks, and an ice floe
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Let Foo Foo eat cake. (Possibly not safe for work, if your work doesn't like a topless, pixelated Thai princess kissing a poodle while listening to George Michael)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man arrested for having a large amount of pot and LSD in his car. "It would have been a heck of a Memorial Day party"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Somebody left baby raccoons at a health department building in upstate New York. The center said that person should check themselves for rabies and besides that, who wants one of these fine raccoons?
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Complex)
 
 
 
This Fall: California to allow self-driving cars on the road. This Winter: The Conquest of the Decepticons to be complete
source: complex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
92-year-old WWII veteran of elite joint American-Canadian paratrooper unit finally deployed, terrifies German tourists at Niagara Falls
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Who wants a propeller from the SS United States?
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
You might be a hippie if you try to argue that an invasive species of plant that clogs waterways and squeezes out native plants for nutrients is misunderstand and its self-esteem is being harmed by classifying it as 'invasive'
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
In the US, white collar criminals who get caught scamming billions from innocents spend a few years in elegant Federal prisons that are like country clubs. In Iran, those types of criminals get executed
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CarBuzz)
 
 
 
South Korea: Are you female? Well, park it over there
source: carbuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Westminster Dog Show. New creepiness: British Tarantula Society Annual Exhibition. "All eight legs should be upright and perfectly poised"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
In general it's considered bad form to remove a 25-foot-tall elaborate burial totem pole from an abandoned village in Alaska and use it as a decoration in the front of your Beverly Hills mansion
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Old school cell phones like Nokias, Ericssons and Motorolas are making a comeback because they fit cleanly in your pocket, their batteries last for a week, and they're not as fragile as an egg or a smart phone
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smithsonian)
 
 
 
Photoshop this close encounter of the aquatic kind
source: newsdesk.si.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hoopy Frood)
 
 
 
Today is towel day. Don't Panic if you forgot. There's still time to get to one of the linked celebrations. So long, Douglas, and thanks for all the fish
source: towelday.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Pole Station)
 
 
 
MacGyver: stops terrorists with gum and bailing wire. McMurdo: only physician on base performs appendectomy on himself with a mirror and electrical wire. Flight back required extra fuel due to two giant stones on that guy (graphic photo)
source: southpolestation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTUU Alaska)
 
 
 
When you ride the slingshot ride that is set up in the parking lot of the Crazy Horse Saloon you almost expect to be stuck up in midair with snapped cables, severe facial injuries and having to be extricated from the ride using a bucket lift
source: ktuu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
UK judges: The remains of Richard III? It's time to give it a rest
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Deadly attack shakes Djibouti
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Postal Service wants to remind citizens it won't email them and request credit card data; they would simply send you a form you would have to fill out and return in the enclosed self-addressed stamped envelope
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"I started scraping off the meat, I took a little piece and though 'why not do it?' It's not every day I will have a piece of human flesh which is mine and which it is possible to eat. So I had a little taste and then I thought that's really nice"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
A pope, a rabbi and a Muslim are flying to the Middle East
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Awesome: Last week was the first time an amputee, a Pakistani woman and a Saudi Arabian woman scaled Mount Everest. Don't Wanna Live on This Planet Anymore: Also the first time someone did the Harlem Shake on the summit
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Violin offender arrested for missing G string
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man is selling a piece of scrap paper with the word 'the' written on it on eBay and the bids have already reached $100. In other news, people will buy pretty much anything for ridiculous amounts of money these days
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Live from Juneau, Alaska, it's once again time for Livingston Stapler Company Presents. 2 hours of music hosted by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Attacked by a flying deer when exiting a city bus? Well, ain't that a kick in the head
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 24, 2014
(CBS News)
 
 
 
84-year-old Alzheimer's patient goes wandering. Police find him and...hey, whaddya know, just this once they didn't give him a fatal beatdown or pump him full of lead claiming he was a heavily armed meth dealer. Nice restraint, fellas
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The case for reparations: "In America there is a strange and powerful belief that if you stab a black person 10 times, the bleeding stops and the healing begins the moment the assailant drops the knife"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Most neighbors wouldn't even bat an eye if they saw a strange car in your driveway let alone follow them and take down their information in a hunch that they just robbed your house, but Maxie Hunter is not one of those neighbors
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
It's like the old saying: You can give a kid a healthy school lunch, but you can't make him eat
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Despite what you may have read on the internet, the delays behind the grand opening of the world's tallest water slide have nothing to do with riders going airborne while testing it out
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Patrons of trendy Brooklyn bar pleased that owner has banned yuppie stroller moms who attempted to take over place with their rowdy rugrats. "Kids shouldn't be running around where people are trying to drink and hook up"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
3 more dead bodies removed from UCSB shooter's apartment and 140-page manifesto sent to local TV station. Well, some Nice Guys need A LOT of attention
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this armed and un-dangerous man
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
"I woke up at 4 AM, with my face caked with blood from my nose" writes the Vice magazine journalist who experimented with snorting homemade alcohol powder
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle of Higher Education)
 
 
 
Hey buddy, want to buy a college campus?
source: chronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Ben Bernanke takes six-figure speaking fee from the very banks and hedge funds he was in charge of regulating as Chairman of the Federal Reserve. "Say it ain't so" trifetca in play
source: dealbook.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Beer brewers are using unfinished Louisville slugger bats to make their beer, and the proceeds will help military families
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 10 New England)
 
 
 
I like my college towns like I like my women. Covered in bees
source: turnto10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
A cute cuddly black bear has been invading a Philadelphia suburb, with a helpful photo of what the creature might look like
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It wouldn't be Memorial Day weekend without ... a BEST BBQ JOINT IN THE U.S. THROWDOWN
source: travel.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this peek-a-boo moment
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Trentonian)
 
 
 
Just ignore that gaping hole the city left in your building. Move along, nothing to see here
source: trentonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Wait, so this whole time the NSA has been deliberately sabotaging cryptography standards? Say it ain't so
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Scotland needs a half-million foreign workers to offset low birth rate and aging population, says immigrants will get free language lessons by interpreting racist graffiti sprayed on their cars and houses by angry, drunken, unemployed Scots
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Fitzgeorge-Parker was a louche, somewhat rackety character who confessed to 'questionable morals'. He also appeared to struggle to distinguish truth from fiction, and at one point was even sued by his own father." Yes, it's another Telegraph obit
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Nobody was shot last night in Chicago (this is huge news for Chicagoans)
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Gozer the Gozerian, good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or the nearest convenient parallel dimension
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
And for the world's latest (alleged) hate crime... Jewish Museum shooting in Brussels leaves 3 dead and 1 injured
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
And so it begins
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
Weeners
 
NOPE
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN compares 'Game of Thrones' to contemporary America. Spoiler alert: Arya is Miley Cyrus
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Prom cancelled due to a) Bomb Threat, b) Flooding, or c) Two kids with alcohol
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Porn stars say mandatory condom use violates free speech, as long as you count grunting and moaning as free speech
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Caption this couple equipped for suspension
source: l3.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
NASA forced to explain why the promised exciting meteor shower was so boring
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEYT Santa Barbara)
 
 
 
Shootings near UC Santa Barbara at 9 separate crime scenes; 6 people murdered, 7 others hospitalized, 1 with life-threatening injuries. The apparently mentally ill gunman is dead as well
source: keyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
With the statute of limitations long past, man who bombed the Trans-Alaska Pipeline in 1978 brags about it. Feds happily point out that, although they can't put him in prison for the bombing, they can still charge him with lying to investigators
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
whO or what is Behind the nAtional aMmo shortAge?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Diplomat)
 
 
 
Japan declares new national holiday in latest attempt to prevent Japanese employees from working themselves to death. Seriously
source: thediplomat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Because nothing says summer like massive amounts of ground beef sandwiched between glazed donuts
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
An artist who can't hear your compliments over the sound of his own smugness just built tiny homeless shelters for homeless people out of trash
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Good news everyone In Georgia, no more pesky questions on your job application if you committed a felony or not
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police launch hate-crime investigation against church that put up poster saying non-Christians will go to hell when they die, even though it's true
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Kale is one of the most popular boys names in California, although some parents still name the little rascal Alfalfa
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop McDonald's new Happy Meal mascot
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"You see officer, I wasn't exposing myself. I just got a 'manzilian' which is a Brazilian wax for men and when I put my jeans on it really started to get uncomfortable so I figured I would just drive around in my underwear. Can I go now?"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ain't no meow-tain high enough: Adorable rock-climbing cat, Millie, loves scrambling up mountains and boulders in her native Utah, her highest summit consisted of five stages of climbing totaling 1000 feet (w/amazing pics, just in time for Caturday)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
No, I wanted curly FRIES
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Veteran tired of waiting so long to get in to the Boston VA hospital uses the drive-thru
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Weird News Quiz: the last thing you need to complete before you leave the office today, you big slacker
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Texas gun nuts realize that terrorizing children in fast food restaurants with rifles isn't the best way to win public support, tell their members to "immediately cease taking long guns into corporate businesses"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
We have officially come full circle with offensive receipt stories
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not News: Mexican cartel threatens law enforcement. News: In Texas. Fark: They used a billboard
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you're a resident of Duluth, Minnesota, you will be able to watch an interrupted thirteen hour video of an Arby's executive slow-roasting a brisket to prove his company's new sandwich is completely legitimate
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
TGI Friday's now has a food truck. In other news, TGI Friday's doesn't understand what food trucks are all about
source: blogs.citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
If you're a judge presiding over a murder trial, it's best not to fall asleep during videotaped testimony. Neither party will like that
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ATK Feed)
 
 
 
Time for you to vote on the 2014 ATK Rice Krispie Treat competition
source: americastestkitchenfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Nanny city-state declares 4-foot-1-inch, 66-pound third-grader overweight. You better believe someone has a problem with this
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 23, 2014
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Parents accuse high school of indoctrinating their children into a cult, leading to the students becoming secretive, distant, and non-communicative. Or in other words; teenagers
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Your camera phone is making you stupid. Wait, "is making"? That might be the wrong tense
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Just when you thought things were starting to look up for Bosnia, recent flooding has reshuffled up to 120,000 land mines
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brooklyn Based)
 
 
 
Hipsters proclaim food trucks OVER, are now into the appreciation of "art trucks" that stage short plays and exhibit upcycled illustrations from back of rental truck as part of so-called "mobile art movement"
source: brooklynbased.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Drunken idiot dubbed 'Britain's stupidest man' after jumping in front of oncoming express train to get it to stop so he could get a ride home (w/ CCTV footage)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
North and South Korean navies play "I'm not touching you," except with artillery
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man exposes himself to politics
source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Garden Island)
 
 
 
18-year-old babysitter gets probation for beating up kids... oh, wait, for beating up their dad who hired her to watch them "for a little while" then didn't come back from the bar 'til after midnight. Better make that tag a double, bartender
source: thegardenisland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The average Thai citizen was apparently totally cool with a military Junta seizing control of all media outlets, deposing their elected government, and instituting curfews and martial law. But the Junta's taste in music? Now THAT was an outrage
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop these mismatched ice dancers
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
I can haz sea lion cuddle? Awwwwwww
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Having covered all the breaking news in New Hampshire, one news team tackles the hard hitting question: Who makes the best lobster roll? Not a chain restaurant in the bunch
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Before you begin your Memorial day festivities this weekend, why not grab a lawn chair, a couple of cold ones and check out the meteor shower tonight? NASA says it's going to be AWESOME
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
You know, you might want to consider losing some weight if you fall on an adult crocodile and he's left throwing up for several hours
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Fashion designer creates t-shirt that gives you instant set of double D's. Also for men
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Your pee isn't sterile after all. It's full of the DNAs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Professor's phony degree spelled trouble: For starters, "Board" is misspelled "Baord"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
French mayor loses his oui oui
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Book of Hammer, chapter one, verse one: "And the Lord did say, give that skateboarding kid a beatdown"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Prosecutor is sorry if any crack hoes were offended by his fully intended comment
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
Appropriate communications between sheriff and comptroller: A) How's the 2nd quarter budget review coming? B) I want the payroll numbers stat, C) I think often about touching kissing and licking every inch of your amazing body. BONUS - Nude selfie
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
Don't try to storm the beaches of Lake Ballard. Or you'll be greeted by 51 freaky alien-like sculptures scattered around it
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fred Phelps was excommunicated from Westboro Baptist Church because he committed blasphemy
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Latest evidence that our society is doomed: "With the rise in 'belfies' (where people take photographs of their asses and post them on social media), one New York spa is now offering 'bum facials' to get that rear looking picture perfect"
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maxim Magazine)
 
 
 
A look at what goes into the world's only $5,000 hamburger. About $3,000 worth of ingredients for one
source: maxim.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Speeding tickets can cost you what the fine says, or you can just give the judge some XXX films and lobster bisque
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diligent Secret Service agent
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
NewsFlash
 
Portland officials tell residents to boil water to remove its taint
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Houston)
 
 
 
Two United flights attempt to live up to their name
source: houston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Okay, who here has NOT played a prank at their high school? *crickets*
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Officer, please rescue me--I've locked myself in the women's prison"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Banter)
 
 
 
The competition has been fierce, but Daily Banter may well have discovered the biggest asshat in America
source: thedailybanter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
You know you've officially broken your babysitter when she points a knife at you and says, "Have fun and do whatever you want in the house," before leaving
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Virginia county board says that no "pre-Christian" prayers are allowed at its meetings. So you Muslims are golden. Jews... not so much
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Los Angeles dubbed "the staged auto accident capital of the U.S." and it's gotten so bad that insurance companies have made a video showing the four most prevalent scams targeting drivers
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
South Carolina police are looking for a man who used a fudge bar to attack an ice cream truck driver, hope that he hasn't yet gained access to a brown mule and fled the state
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Oxford-trained lawyer gives up his six-figure salary to follow his dreams of becoming a human cannonball. Rob Schneider last seen trying to buy the movie rights
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
Technician who wore mariachi outfit to work claims CNN fired him 'for being gay'
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
BAC of .289 is pretty lightweight for an article around here...unless you're 13 months old
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Review)
 
 
 
As Ukraine gets set for the presidential elections on the 25th, other former Soviet states - especially the Balkans and Kazakhstan - wonder whether Putin will come and 'defend' Russian-speaking minorities there as well
source: worldreview.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman promises to give up her baby to a couple that agree to pay her expenses, then proceeds to: A) keep the baby; B) request more money; C) cut off contact with the couple; or D) all of the above
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Want to know what your cows are eating? Why not fit them with portholes?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Some parents are hiring 'professional organizers' to pack their children's bags for summer camp proving that some people have too much money
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Before sending anonymous naked pictures of yourself on Facebook, choose the background carefully
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
"Give me the money or I'll kill your wife and children in Egypt," police said. When the victim didn't budge, the robber then told him, "I'll cut myself, and you'll go to prison for it"
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
A 2012 survey found that three-fourths of the 1,000 people surveyed have used their smartphone while on the toilet prompting the New Zealand Herald to ask 'Texting on the toilet - why not?'
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Why fat fashion models are here to stay, and not just because someone left a box of Dunkin' Donuts at the photo shoot. "'Plus-size' is an unfortunate term. The correct term is 'curve'"
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Lots of people have failed their driving test the first time they took it, but it takes a special kind of stupid to flunk it by savagely beating their instructor halfway through the road test and then stealing his car. Meet that kind of stupid
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Security guard pulls the one-armed bandit's lever with mistaken viral email, hits the jackpot
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Show those neighbors of yours with those cutesy garden gnomes what garden gnoming should be
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
It's official: South Carolina believes in mammoths
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drinks Business)
 
 
 
Jesus 'would have drunk beer', says priest
source: thedrinksbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Paris Review)
 
 
 
Doing verbal battle at the O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships
source: theparisreview.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bon Appetit)
 
 
 
"How could one possibly be anti-Nutella? I honestly cannot wrap my mind around this. I get that there are people who are not obsessed like I am, but you must lead a sad existence, brother"
source: bonappetit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Restaurant puts up "No Concealed Firearms Allowed" sign in front window. Guess what happens next?
source: patdollard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HR Grapevine)
 
 
 
The world's best job? Panda cuddler. You have until July 15 to apply and job description notes, "Your work has only one mission, spending 365 days with the pandas and sharing in their joys and sorrows"
source: hrgrapevine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
What better way to thank a former teacher than to save their life? Beats the hell out of a card (w/video)
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Challenge: Fix up this broken-down neighborhood
source: iskra-kprf.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
LotR true meaning revealed. Well not today. Certainly not in this long-winded article
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pro-wine scientists double down and say it's also good for your teeth
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Not news: Man trims hedge. FARK: Into a 150 foot dragon
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fresno Bee)
 
 
 
Unable to find a tornado, man uses stolen backhoe to destroy mobile home
source: fresnobee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Fruit flies are smarter than you think. When making the tough decisions in life, they too sit back, light a cigar and have a Scotch whisky before making that decision
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Tennessee bringing ole Sparky out of retirement
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Priorities, priorities. Should I find someone to watch my two and three-year-old sons or just leave them in the car with crushed up pills and drug paraphernalia while I go to the beauty salon to get a Brazilian wax?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Most people find work to be less stressful than home life
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ahh, the Caribbean. Come for the fine beaches and warm surf, stay for the emerging virus whose name means "contorted with pain"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Thirty-one regional sodas with cult followings
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you are ever a Chinese baby and you fall out off a second-story window, just go real limp, because maybe people will try to catch you because, hey, free baby
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 22, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boyfriend spends four years in 26 countries to film the most epic lip-syncing marriage proposal ever. Of course she said yes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
To do list: April 29th - break into restaurant, steal vodka. April 30th - break into same restaurant, steal vodka. May 11th - break into same restaurant, steal vodka. May 13th - break into same restaurant, steal vodka. May 16th - hire lawyer
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pottstown Mercury)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania cops may soon be able to search your car without a warrant. That's not all though, they may also have the authority to arrest you if you have a secret compartment in your car, even though nothing is in it
source: pottsmerc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Stanford professor predicts we'll soon be eating the dead. Shhhh. We won't tell him the truth
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Montreal Gazette)
 
 
 
Worth it
source: montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Scientists track sharks in Gulf of Mexico to look for another Sharknado. Possibly even a Category 8 Sharkicane
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Behance)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handyman
source: m1.behance.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Coast to Coast will need something new to HAARP about
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You should never let your new friend you met in rehab borrow your SUV. Even if you're Rob Ford
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Sweet: Daughter collecting her father's pension from the war. Fark: The Civil war
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
What happens when you are disorderly on the train? They kick you off in the middle of goddamn nowhere of course
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitchen Daily)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Bell peppers are versatile and can be used in many ways. What are some of your favorite concoctions with these colorful veggies? Pics and recipes, you know the drill
source: kitchendaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The "You Got A Purty Mouth" rollercoaster and the "Paddle Faster, I Still Hear Banjos" log flume were apparently not enough to keep this theme park open
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Custody battles over a child are always emotional, brutal, soul-destroying ordeals. It's even worse when it's a custody battle over a child's ashes
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Behold, gentlemen, the dizzying future, where we can choose to become scientists, astronauts, or mealworm ranchers
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Experiment shows that sense of taste impacts lifespan, as sweet tastes have positive effects and bitter tastes have negative effects, proving that brewers cramming all those goddamn hops into everything really ARE committing a crime against humanity
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
If boredom doesn't kill you a work, your office chair will
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Get over by your fainting couch -- it turns out that teenagers often lie on school questionnaires
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this fleeing moment
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Feng Shui: serious business
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Stripper gets arrested, masturbates in cell to the enterta...err...horror of the officers
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Rasmussen determines Russian troops may be preparing to withdraw from the Ukrainian border with a margin of error of +/- 15
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
How to turn your moobs into muscle, or if you're a woman, how to look really weird
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Do you actually understand how a toilet flushes? This might explain why your political views are all wrong. Trust me, I'm right
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
Isn't it funny how the government sold all of its GM shares right before GM started its massive recalls? I'm sure the SEC will get right on that
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
15-year girl who went missing 10 years ago is found alive after escaping from her captor who apparently held her as a sex slave for the last 10 years. Awkward Thanksgiving Alert: Her captor was her mom's former boyfriend
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Florida named the most dangerous state for pedestrians. Confused Southern California residents ask "What's a pedestrian?"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
On May 20, 1899, the first speeding arrest happened - for traveling at 12mph
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Science)
 
 
 
Scientist who wrote "The Cooling World" article for Newsweek in 1975 would like to take it all back
source: insidescience.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
As May Sweeps comes to an end, investigative television news team reveals that some people on Craigslist are offering free rent in exchange for regular sex. "'Go for a roll in the hay,' the man said"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Ever been so thirsty that you would drink water from a vase? Jimmy Kimmel finds this to be humorous
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 96.5 Florida)
 
 
 
Video shows the moment three children are shocked by poorly wired swimming pool. Because Florida (warning: may be disturbing)
source: news965.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Mattel conducts in-home study to show how girls play with Barbie dolls, claims it's just a toy and not a tool of the patriarchy. "There's less hair / makeup / boyfriends than you'd expect, and more superheroes / gymnasts / veterinarians"
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man has 60 days to live, fiancée sets out to save his life. It's a love story made for the Internets
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Hospital confirms patient has necrotizing fasciitis but still expect to see less of him over time
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Virginia governor Terry McAuliffe and his wife proposition Bo Derek
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Sandwich delivery guy gets his bike stolen, goes to Craigslist not only to have others help him find it but sarcastically thanked the thief for stealing it
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Researchers discover how the biggest, brightest stars die. I thought it was usually booze or drugs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
After dozens of victims thank EMT for saving their lives in a high school knife attack, EMT is told, "You're nuts. You didn't help anyone. No more work for you"
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thai fighters take over the government. Death Star construction still behind schedule
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
From the "how could this possibly be true"? File: American Red Cross says nearly half of all Americans and two-thirds of African Americans don't know how to swim. FFS people, even DOGS manage to figure this out without much trouble
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
It only took 4 days, but the bee trifecta is now complete --- 50,000 bees are removed from a wall in a house
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Not News: Man steals an NYC bread delivery truck. News: Said thief then proceeds to make every single scheduled delivery. Fark: In his underpants
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Chaperone: Slutty McSkankson wasn't booted from her prom because pervert dads were ogling her, but rather because she's a hussy whose skirt *forced* good, God-fearing men to stare at her with their mouths open
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YLE (Finland))
 
 
 
Next up on Putin's "let's see who we can fark with next" list - Finland
source: yle.fi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Today's FARK ready headline: Head-bomb man strips naked, then surrenders
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you're going to crash your car while drunk, might as well crash into a medical school so they can take care of your injuries
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Here's a phrase you don't often hear: 'Four deadly pythons will help you relax'
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Remember how martial law was declared in Thailand a few days ago? Well, that has moved on to their national pastime: coup d'etat
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Ecards)
 
 
 
This guy's wife leaves adorable drawings for him all over the house ... featuring a tiny vulgar unicorn (Some images Not safe for work)
source: happyplace.someecards.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Japan's Kinki University to finally change its English name after dean gets "tired of the giggles he gets abroad when he tells people where he works"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
House approves bill to streamline the USPS by changing name to USP
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Si senor. Sometimes the bulls win" (warning: some graphic images)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
JUST IN: England creates a burger even crazier than America
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
J. J Abrams announces Star Wars cameo contest. Winner gets to cockpunch Jar Jar Binks
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Bottles of single-malt whiskey set to go on sale expected to fetch prices of $30,000 and up per bottle, even though they have been on a shelf for more than 50 years. Don't people think that customers can read the labels on these bottles?
source: scotlandnow.dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Pssst.. let's look into the life of an NYU college student by going through the HUGE pile of luxurious garbage they leave behind when classes are out
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
How many times have I told you to wash up after weekly cross burning?
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Sick worker at Red Robin in Missouri has exposed thousands to Hepatitis A
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fox News anchor Gregg Jarrett arrested at airport bar after refusing to cooperate with police. Boy his beard does not match his hair
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Gee, who could have thought an online romance that blossomed on Vine could have descended into a frothing mess of insanity and hatred?
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this impression
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Hidden elevator leads police to a batcave full of child pornography. Now those short green pants make sense
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cute teen eats nothing but chicken escalopes, suffers no health complications: "Just the thought of putting other foods in my mouth and not liking the taste makes me feel anxious" (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Organic food. New hotness: Biodynamic food
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Do you have bushy eyebrows? You're sex-obsessed
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Socialist healthcare is all well and good until your stomach bursts into flames during surgery
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Xinjiangkaboom (Warning: Graphic images)
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You're a top NFL draft prospect. How do you blow off steam in the tense days before the draft? Do you: C) Hang out with the handicapped Little League players you've mentored since your sophomore year in high school
source: autismmovesout.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man killed his girlfriend's mother's boyfriend and shot her 7-year-old son because he got the wrong Burger King order. He then planned to kill his girlfriend's brother and turn the gun on himself, but he couldn't have it his way
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
Buy "fair trade" coffee? How dare you, you monster. Oppressing poor people in foreign countries with lower wages and poorer working conditions for bad coffee
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Good news: Americans are eating more and more vegetables. Bad news: they're drowning in salt and fat
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 472: "One is Still the Loneliest Number". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 21, 2014
(White House)
 
 
 
Can't afford trip to Washington, DC to see the White House? Here's your chance to take interactive tour where Obama rules America with dictorial proclamations, unconstitutional orders
source: whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're a substitute teacher, don't ask fourth graders for booty call advice
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Hotel sues anonymous Internet user for $74,500 over TripAdvisor review that included "the owner smokes weed" & "Jen at the front desk had phone sex with someone"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man admits to taking a laser pointer and shining it inside the cockpit of a landing airplane because "he just wanted to see what would happen"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WebMD)
 
 
 
"Advantame and spice and everything nice," just doesn't have the same ring to it
source: webmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
The speed bumps in your parking lot might be working a little too well if they cause a car to come to a complete stop before ripping off the gas line
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Newspaper reporter allergic to newspaper ink
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Acknowledging the higher quality food and absolute supremacy of their pizza, the James Beard awards ceremony will move from New York to Chicago
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Most Canadian story ever: Man finds baby moose, takes it to Tim Hortons
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Mario Batali pens cocktail recipe for the New York Times that calls for Havana Club rum, which just happens to be contraband in the U.S
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seventh DUI conviction? ✓ A police pursuit that resulted in you wrecking your Ferrari when you crashed into a house and parked car? ✓ Judge: That's a year of work release. You better believe some people have a problem with that
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
People who don't go to college may have more sex, but those who do are kinkier
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad: Your car is stolen. Good: It is recovered shortly after. FARK: The thief drove so well it helped to bring down the insurance costs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pallet pair
source: media.npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Dude fuels up on alcohol, goes to his parents' house, beats them up and takes off with their money and their car. He comes back to the scene and picks a fight with firefighters, one of them being a mixed martial arts fighter. Oops
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
From the state that brought you Hiccup Girl, Florida is proud to present ... Burp Guy
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If you take a taxi in London, it is frowned upon to leave your baby behind in lieu of a tip
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
School that banned Honors Night decides not to become national laughingstock
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FastCo Design)
 
 
 
You mean rain on my wedding day isn't ironic?
source: fastcodesign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Your attention span is shrin
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Thanks Obama, for interrupting our 'Price Is Right' show for your speech about the Veterans Affairs scandal
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Bay Area)
 
 
 
Man caught stealing ice cream reacts by A) brandishing a firearm B) running away C) messing his pants and threatening store workers with his hepatitis
source: insidebayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
6'3", overweight ginger pushes cute friend out of the way of a drunk driver, gets hit instead."He's going to be my best friend for the rest of my life." Welcome to the friendzone, buddy
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"So that's when it kind of sparked in my head - 'Why don't underwear come with pockets?'"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
21 tonne steam engine falls off lorry loader. That's "Train falls off a truck" in English
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 4 Charleston)
 
 
 
Man hired to kill nuisance wildlife fired for killing nuisance alligator on beach
source: abcnews4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Obama finally offers military response to Bush v. Gore: US troops deployed to Chad
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
First, they came for my bacon and I said...whoa, whoa, whoa let's not be so hasty
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Galveston Daily News)
 
 
 
When robbing a place, make sure you don't leave your cellphone behind. The police will use it as evidence and like it even more if your face is the screensaver for it
source: galvestondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
The assistant state attorney probably thought he was just calling 'em as he sees 'em in his Mother's Day Facebook post to 'crack hoes.'
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Do you live in A) Washington D.C., B) the VA counties of Fairfax, Loudoun, or Arlington, or C) Montgomery County, MD? Well, you've probably been exposed to the measles
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
So... We have no idea where the M-16 rifle went, maybe it was just misplaced. There's no need to panic and I'm sure it will turn up here at the department and we'll all have a good laugh over it. I mean rifles don't just grow legs and walk away
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Say yes to the Forever Alone dress
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Today's vehicular based lasagna disaster is brought to you by Gaffney, South Carolina
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Protip: if you kidnap a hooker, tie her up and stash her in your closet over a fee dispute, make sure the number she gives you so you can call and demand money for her safe return is the one for her pimp and not, say, a cop she works as a CI for
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Never get between a momma bear and her cub, even you B.C. highway, even you
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bold birdman
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
30% chance of a sharknadoes in Washington DC today (with official National Weather Service pic)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I left entire unopened bag of frozen chicken thighs on the table last night. They are completely thawed but still cool to the touch. Cook them immediately or throw them out? Creative alternate suggestions welcome
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Planningmoon? Here's a guide to the latest wedding buzz terms
source: destinationweddingmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albuquerque Journal)
 
 
 
Remember that whole "if pot is medicine then do insurance companies have to pay for it?" question? Well, in New Mexico at least, the answer to it is "Yes, yes they do"
source: abqjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Who's worse at math, students in southern US states or students in third world countries? Hah, trick question, they all suck
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
A cop, a rabbi, and a Boy Scout leader walk into police custody after being busted as part of a 71-person kiddie porn bust
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Rob Ford's broad support suddenly becomes clear
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There's rich and then there's "I'm so rich, I forgot that I owned a $100,000 yacht for two years" rich
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
It just goes to show you when you put on an inflatable sumo suit and launch yourself at your colleague always beware that you are your worst enemy
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
EBay user info stolen: A++++ Security, would hack again
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Researchers discover what everyone else is doing instead of researching
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Grade inflation has now become "grade hyperinflation" as Valedictorian at a FL high school graduates with a 10.3 GPA, hope all you kids with your piddly 4.0's like saying "you want fries with that"?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"If Americans in prison, on parole or on probation counted as a city of their own, they would form the largest city in the United States after New York and they exceed the populations of Los Angeles and Chicago combined"
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Drew, in the interest of open-book management, we demand to see the Fark booze and blow expenditures for the past quarter
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Mommy, this lite bright Uncle Luis brought me doesn't work and is leaking some white powder out of the bottom, just like the DVD player he brought me for my birthday this year." "You better enjoy them Gabriela, he wont be sending you any more"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
What's worse than being told your chemotherapy isn't working? Being told your chemotherapy isn't working and your house is on fire
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
Leduc RCMP looking for missing family member with reputation as something of an ass
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Man drowns after being pepper-sprayed by police, who must have used a lot more than the recommended amount
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
They said I was daft to put a bell in a tower, but I did it all the same. It burned down. I put it on the lawn. It was stolen. I welded the bell to a metal stand, attached it to a concrete pad buried under the ground. That, too was stolen
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Cleric convicted on all of 11 terror charges; red wizard needs food badly
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Israel National News)
 
 
 
Today is 'Draw A Picture of the Prophet Mohammed Day' in Toronto, so grab your scimitar and your Semtex and get there early to beat the crowds
source: israelnationalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If you live in Texas don't request a personalized license plate that reads, "Rump," "Hitman," or "Bite Me"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 15 Mobile)
 
 
 
Here's a story with a little bit of everything from a 18-year-old escort who goes by the name 'Chocolate Bunny', a meeting at a Econo Lodge that ended up with her client shot dead to the 'Bunny' using her actual info to check in to the motel
source: local15tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
#OMIGAWD #youwantmetoactuallywork #THISSUCKS #mybossissuchaloser #LIKETOTALLY #iquit #KTHXBYE
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
University of Chicago neurologist arrested for public indecency. The nerve
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Some people create holy pieces of art to express themselves and their religions, then there's this forked-tongued guy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If anyone could invent a marijuana breathalyzer test, they could make millions by selling it to states that have legalized the narcotic and, as a bonus, save lives by preventing people from driving while dangerously high
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Small mistakes can be costly sometimes. In France the engineers at a railway network forgot to go and measure the actual distance between lines and platforms, and it will cost 50 million euros ($68 million) to fix the problem
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
MMA fighters go 2-0 against nightclub bouncer
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Hours after hitting pregnant elk with his Volvo, Swede finds ugly-ass newborn elk on back seat. Bonus quote: "I was completely covered in glass and the elk's innards" (pic)
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Company unveils robot comic that possesses more self-awareness than Dane Cook
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The biggest conflict currently rocking Washington, D. C. involves A) Republicans B) Democrats C) Trash cans
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
"The truth is something we discern after a long, vigorous process" and "threats of inserting fingers in the anus" are things you hear when locker room horseplay turns into a police matter
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Old school journalist angered by AP and Reuters 500 word limits for articles, bemoans state of journalism in the age of the 140 character li
source: articles.chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Two New York City fourth-graders, age 9 and 12, were arrested Tuesday after allegedly putting poison in a teacher's water bottle. A 12 year old fourth grader? Good job parents. Good job
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the pensioner who has been dubbed 'The Most British Man Ever.' And your life looks pretty pathetic compared to what he's done with his
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Town in North Carolina wants to end graffiti that says words like "booger" because it's snot funny
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
The best mugshots of an intoxicated mom charged with child endangerment you will ever see
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Norwich Bulletin)
 
 
 
"Killingly man accused of killing wife." The kill was most killish in a most killingly way
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hottest vacation destination in eastern Europe is Budapest, where tourists pay to be locked in basements with random collections of stuff to see if they can MacGyver their way out before they run out of time
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Flying somewhere? Well just so you know, deadly germs can live in aircraft cabins for a week. Have a nice flight
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Bulletproof backpack can't stop round from an AR-15, but backpack full of school books can
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
Woman gets 2nd DUI in one month. *yawn* Fark: With a BAC of .404
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Ahh, Spring. The sun is out, the birds are singing, and naked guys are diving through the sunroof of your car to attack you
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Former CTA train operator who dozed off while driving and crashed into an escalator at O'Hare two months ago fell asleep on the job a year ago but only missed a stop or two instead of causing millions in damages
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sky view in Hong Kong
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Christians start religious Pinterest site, 1981 years after Pontius Pilate's offline version
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Six Iranians aren't, after being caught dancing to song 'Happy' by religious police and forced to apologize for it on state TV
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
US Marine Core soldiers are basically a bunch of commies
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man found drug dealers in neighborhood too much to Handel, so he finally baroque down and began blasting classical music from his balcony to drive them away. He hopes they're Haydn it so much they won't come Bach
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
House Apatzingan: The. Limes. Must. Flow
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
"This is a photo of Arielle Lipsen (a good friend of mine) who was thrown to the ground and hit with the butt of a DEA agent's rifle. She is now wrongfully being charged with assaulting a federal agent during a DEA raid"
source: wilwheaton.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What's better than having a celebrity respond to your invitation to the prom? Getting invited to wash America's Most Biatchin' Firebird in the White House driveway with Uncle Joe
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Being a cop is really hard work, and sometimes you just have to relieve some of that tension in a Starbucks bathroom
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Don't wash your jeans, says A) tree hugging hippie environmentalist terrorists B)... Oh Fark it - the CEO of Levi's
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HSH.com)
 
 
 
How much salary do you need to earn to afford the principal, interest, taxes and insurance payments on a median-priced home in your metro area? Click the link to find out. And also, why homes are so cheap in Cleveland?
source: hsh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
For those of you who don't believe that evil exists in the world, imagine this: An all-you-can-eat bacon festival that you pay $125 to attend ... and all you can get is a couple of strips
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reader's Digest)
 
 
 
Could a 5th grade teacher have discovered the key to preventing the next Columbine?
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
You want to feed the homeless? That's great thank -- wait, not in that park. How dare you
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Must be time to dust off the old Threat Level Color Chart
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: 16-year-old is arrested for robbery. News: After his mom drove him to the police station and turned him in. FARK: Grandma also shows up and the two furious women take turns yelling at the him
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Niger pleas for aid after two car bombs kill 100, injure dozens more
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
In today's overturned truck news we have... BEES
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter