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Sun May 04, 2014
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Monster quake hits Japan. These movie publicity stunts are getting out of hand
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Raiding pot farms, New Hotness: Raiding tobacco farms
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Coca Cola drops flame-retardant chemical from Powerade. Coming soon: DihydrogenMonoxide-free sports drinks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
King's son steals surfboards. Acting like proper royalty does the king: a) pay off the victim to hide the crime, b) tell the police not to prosecute, c) publicly shame his son through the media
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Hipster balloon artist and magician creates the Largest. Balloon sculpture. EVER (w/pics)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Naked Portland man doing pushups in the middle of an intersection at 4:00 a.m. is hit and killed by a car. The coroner can probably skip the toxicology report on this one
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Time-lapse of cities spanning history drawn into one huge megacity; still better than the last SimCity
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
To the traditional sounds of an English summer - the droning of lawnmowers, the smack of leather on willow - has been added a new noise: the sound of people screaming in agony as they are stung to death by killer bees
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Using a bank's restroom to shoot-up heroin, then passing out, then waking up after the bank closed, then calling the cops to get out is no way to go through life, son
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Carl Sagan Portal)
 
 
 
"Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey" episode 9 discussion thread and drinking game. 9PM Eastern on Fox
source: carlsagan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angry bird
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Starpulse)
 
 
 
John Hinckley, Jr. has been released from lockup after thirty-two years. Jodie Foster put on high alert
source: starpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Siberian child in the snow
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Miami police host a gun buy-back. 6000 guns turned in. Hang on, I'm getting a call...nevermind, make that 6 guns turned in. Yep, 6. Not 5, not 7, but 6. In 4 hours. 6
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Hipsters proclaim Montreal OVER, are now migrating to Quebec City's gritty Saint-Roch district. "We like that it's not yet too chic; the neighborhood maintains a lure of authenticity, where locals still outnumber the tourists" [for now]
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Couple decides to get married as if they were mermaids. Guests felt the whole affair floundered in the middle
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Robin Begins
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bristol Post (UK))
 
 
 
Bored on a Sunday? Why not build a massive water slide on your town's steepest hill?
source: bristolpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
It was a quiet weekend in Chicago, with only eighteen people getting shot this weekend. We call that progress
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Number of careers available to Christians "is quickly shrinking as homosexuals seek opportunities to wreck the personal business and career of any Christian who declines to support the gay lifestyle." This is bad news for florists
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Camp X -- Canada's secret training camp for spies during WW2 -- is finally recognized by Ottawa after 70 years. Now THAT is keeping a secret
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In New York City, the dedicated officers of the NYPD pursue vicious felons who are intent upon using their smartphones as weapons. By filming the dedicated officers in action. These are their stories. *doink* *doink*
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(24/7 Wall Street)
 
 
 
The most popular places to shop and eat at in America pretty much explains why we need just to nuke the entire planet and start over. It's the only way to be sure
source: 247wallst.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Come on, like you've never robbed a Waffle House with a pitchfork
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Apparently, promoting a drinking party called "cinco de drinko" with a facebook page showing people in sombreros hopping a fence while border agents look on is considered "racially insensitive" and "wrong"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Ukraine: DIAF
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bucks County Courier Times)
 
 
 
Once again, patriotic Americans celebrate the time 240-odd years ago that George Washington and his men crossed the Delaware River to bring the Hessians beer for Christmas, or something
source: buckscountycouriertimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
If you're an Iowan, the correct answer to "Do you have any idea why I pulled you over?" is "Is it about my license plate frame, officer?"
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
92-year-old given a soup bowl... by deep-sea divers who brought it up from 340 feet down, seventy years after his merchant marine tanker was torpedoed by a U-boat off Nantucket
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action A Go-Go)
 
 
 
The most influential and ripped off movie ever is not Citizen Kane, Casablanca, Star Wars, or Jaws. Hell, it was never even made
source: actionagogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Ukrainian troops
source: s.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Note saying "KABOOM Im tired of all the people here. Everyone is going down, the school will b n flames" was written by a disgruntled special education teacher who hoped her grammatical errors and misspellings would fool police
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Bad: Woman was molested by a cousin when she was 13. Good: She has gone through therapy and now helps others who are in the same situation. FARK: The molester is now suing the woman for defamation and stalking
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
9-year-old boy creates bucket list of things to look at before he loses his sight. 'I want to see so much before it all goes dark'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slightly Warped)
 
 
 
A whole bunch of reasons not to move to Australia. #25 is actually a jellyfish
source: slightlywarped.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Miami teen arrested for hacking into his school's computer system to change grades. It's a WOPR of a story
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ARL Now)
 
 
 
Man convicted of assault on roommate who drew a penis on his face. With fantastic mugshot
source: arlnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
50 best tacos in America (deslided)
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Therapist was divided over assisting man with meat cleaver
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Where the heck is that missing jet, anyway? Anybody asked Al Qaeda? Hey, let's ask Al Qaeda
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
"I quit pay a tonight because of self at son and aortic and ahour and hill e a s th", says fired PayPal exec caught sayof
source: cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Himalayan Times)
 
 
 
Four people were unable to figure out how lightning works when it finally struck them
source: thehimalayantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 03, 2014
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Yabba dabba douchebags: three teens publicly shamed for stealing stone age vehicle
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sheriff's deputy blows stop sign and t-bones woman's car, breaking her neck in 4 places. Unable to stand or function she is declared drunk and arrested. Bad cop trifecta now in play
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Nobel Prize winner
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Icelandic Phallological Museum has accepted the donation of Jonah Falcon's penis after his death. As for the reason why, ask Peter North and John Holmes why they're jealous. Not safe for work
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
U2 shuts down LAX, leaving helpless passengers Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRQE News)
 
 
 
That cop who was arrested for putting repo man in choke hold? He was already on administrative leave and under investigation to see if he was mentally competent to be a cop. Also swears he didn't try to run and cops used excessive force
source: krqe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Good: University puts up anti cheating posters. Bad: Posters include answers to exam questions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Naked Cowboy finally changes his underwear
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Don't blame Christian Mingle when your naked housekeeping fantasy goes bad and the strange woman you brought to your trailer beats you with a bat
source: tinleypark.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Delaware Deputy Attorney General asked to have a seat over there
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Old and busted: dog shaming. New hotness: llama shaming
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(D'awwwwwww)
 
 
 
Just cute baby animals
source: crankers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Descrier)
 
 
 
Football fan killed by "flying toilet bowl" in Brazil. That's just a crappy way to die
source: descrier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Journalists from CBS and Sky News detained in Ukraine. Someone from Buzzfeed was also held, but even Ukrainians won't go as far as to call anyone working there a "journalist"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this collapsing smoker
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(xoJane)
 
 
 
Some hipsters dumpster-dive for fun. Other hipsters live in dumpsters for fun. Meet Professor Dumpster, who fully committed to 24/7 dumpster living after nasty divorce: "I wanted to challenge the limits of my life in a big way"
source: xojane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You're free to do what you want, but if you put your wallet in your back pocket instead of the front one, you're a terrible person and no one will ever love you
source: explodingunicorn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Vision)
 
 
 
Muslim honcho issues fatwa against ringtones in which verses from the Quran are recited. In related news, apparently people actually had ringtones of verses from the Quran
source: newvision.co.ug   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Finally some beary good news. Boo Boo the Wash U petting zoo bear will not be put down after all
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Liberal disagrees with Seattle's attempts to raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour. No word when he will be banished to the harsh land of Olympia
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Fire flings flying frying foul fermented fish, firefighters fazed
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Food bank overwhelmed with donations after clumsy, lazy worker mistaken for burglar
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Today is World Naked Gardening Day. Wear lots of sunscreen. (w/bonus slideshow)
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
May 3 NEPA/NJ - Lehigh Valley Fark Party
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Impromptu Invite - Farkers/TFers Welcome: Sat. 5.3.14, 9:30 PM, Joxer Daly's, Culver City
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
May 3, 8pm: STL Fark Party 2: Electric Boogaloo (UPDATED)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Riverside Fark Party, May 3, Yard House (after bowling)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Couple holds out hope that their missing bouncy house will be returned to them
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A scarf that doubles as a flask? BRILLIANT
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"One of the three robbers (in black Ninja suits) found Camilo's hat, and is wearing it. In the second pic, the robber sees the video camera."
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(St. John's Telegram)
 
 
 
The Energy Department prepares for changing climate by hoarding gasoline. You think they might know something the rest of us don't?
source: thetelegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Verbatim
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flavorwire)
 
 
 
The creepiest father-daughter pictures you will ever see, courtesy of a Purity Ball photographer
source: flavorwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crazy driver
source: livedoor.blogimg.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Certain that everyone has received the news, mock shooters will swarm the new World Trade Center this morning firing "simunitions" - nonlethal paint-ball bullets. Nothing can possibly go wrong with this idea
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Cat saves its human in a mobile home fire. Josie and the Pussycats want you to have a safe Caturday
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Not news: Girl brings home made cupcakes to school to share with her class. News: Cupcakes with ingredients such as mayonnaise, barbecue sauce and soy sauce. Fark: The school calls police in to test that there is no bodily fluids in them
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
You're gonna need a bigger aquarium
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Take your phone off the hook, raid the mini-bar and remove your pants: it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Terminally ill girl can't go to graduation, so school brings graduation to her. Dang, it's awfully dusty in here
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFLA Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Squatter posts bond, returns to Florida soldier's home
source: wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Kids these days have heightened levels of anxiety because no one ever shuts up about the global warming apocalypse
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
One cop says to the other cop, "Dude, we got the wrong guy." Does this story feature: a) an apology, b) a hug, or c) The words: "Someone drop the dope in here"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
San Francisco hipster opens mini-golf course in Mission District. Besides hand-crafted holes that feature cable cars, Day of the Dead, and ironic nods to old-school mini-golf windmills, it serves microbrews, deep-dish pizza, and duck confit poutine
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Maryland police will live-Tweet arrests yielded from prostitution stings. However, some people have a problem with this
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
California's blood-sucking, money-hungry lawyers now have to take an oath to be ... nice
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
New frat is all about the par...wait, scratch that. It's about helping young men with Asperger's
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sad: family dog is lost during Hurricane Sandy. Worse: after year and a half, family gives up. Better: family visits shelter to adopt new dog. Fark: first one shown is their lost dog
source: monmouthcountyspca.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's abandoned building photos brought to you by Italy. You know you want to go there. I do
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Nearsightedness increased 66% between 1970 and 2000. Not even scientists saw this one coming
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Mother of five discovers her 23-year marriage is gay and illegal. Why? Because her birth certificate says she's male
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 02, 2014
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Helpful tips on how to tell if your tenants are running a drug lab. Random explosions surprisingly missing
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Chicago)
 
 
 
Driving drunk to a police station, beating your girlfriend in the lobby and resisting arrest is no way to go through life, birthday boy
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Woman kills boyfriend because he didn't buy her a gift when they went shopping. Let that be a lesson to men everywhere
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Every man dreams of threesomes with two babes. Some men experience such threesomes. Then there's this guy
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Are you afraid that spiders will use two of their legs to pry open your eyelids so they can inject your eyeballs with venom while you're sleeping? You should be
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
After losing a leg in Afghanistan to an IED, a soldier vows "I'll be back." Armed with a prosthetic and two giant brass balls, he is once again serving on the front lines in Afghanistan, looking for John Conner
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Have you ever wondered where all the phone booths went? Wonder no more
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
World's longest separated pair of twins hug each other for the first time since 1936
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alabama's 13)
 
 
 
Pastor vs. Pastor rivalry in Alabama ends in ketchupped robes, before the church burns down
source: alabamas13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Took a photo of your high school teacher showing you porn in class? That's a suspension
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Protip: If your bachelor party of 11 finds a dead body in the RV you just rented, be prepared to be fingerprinted and questioned by the police for several hours
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time (Images))
 
 
 
Photoshop this encounter of the whatever kind
source: timedotcom.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Ohio man sues 40 of his neighbors, totally can't understand why they're terrorizing him with horn honks
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Q: How can I stop my dog from barking at squirrels? A: She's a terrier so you'll have better luck training the squirrels
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Shut. Down. Indiana
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Feds consider taking Native American land. This not a repeat from 1830
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Tough Mudder is all right if you're a duck. Otherwise it's poop-infected farmwater seeping up your mouth and anus
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're attempting to get to court to face car theft charges, don't steal a car to get there
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Forgetting that wild animals bite, Washington University in St. Louis brings a bear cub as part of a petting zoo for the stressed-out elitist college students. After the bear acts like a bear, it's going to be euthanized
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
In today's episode of "Good Luck With That," militant moocher/racist Cliven Bundy files criminal complaint with sheriff against the Bureau of Land Management
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not to worry people of Perth, Australia, there's a huge great white shark 'patrolling' the waters right off your beaches making sure no one is leaving leftovers swimming around
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
More info on the "garage engineers" and their plan to repurpose the ISEE-3
source: thesent.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big catch
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
How a spiky 100 pound blob with a mushy interior, and an odor reminiscent of overripe fruit, packaged fruit cup, smelly feet, stinky cheese and pet food just might save the planet
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Look, what's the issue? If you only have one freezer, OF COURSE the dead dogs need to be right by the food
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man wrecks SUV on bridge, crawls out window, jumps from bridge into neighborhood to get away from cops, forgets about passenger trapped in wreckage who's probably happy to talk to cops now
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're going to manufacture crack in your home, it's best not to store the materials on the same shelf as the baby formula
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Beloved cartoon characters are going bald to help kids with cancer. Good grief
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
"Yeah I'd like a bacon wrapped corn, 2 orders of deep fried cheese puffs, and what the hell, a slice of scorpion-topped pizza to go"
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Bad: Having to sleep it off in a Dumpster. Worse: Doing it on Trash Day
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Walter Walsh, America's oldest living Olympian, oldest retired FBI agent, gangbuster, former marine sniper, and all-around badass dead at age 106
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Pootie calls for emergency UN Security Council meeting upon news Russian special forces, I mean grass roots protesters are taking higher casualties than the Ukrainian army
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I don't see why there is all this hate for Micro$oft. It only took them 11 years to release that security update for Internet Explorer, but they included XP for it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Important travel tips for Farkers going to the Emerald Isle
source: waterfordwhispersnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dumb guns' rights advocates issue death threats and force gun shop to back off on plans to sell smart guns
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
According to a web analytics company, the biggest source of Spam e-mails in Brazil is some sleazy fly-by-night company known as "Walmart"
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Standard)
 
 
 
Banning bikinis outside a Spanish beach resort? What a bunch of Mallorca
source: business-standard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Farkers rejoice: Your body odor may be sexually arousing to someone other than yourself
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cyclist thrown from bike by UFO
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Colorado lawmakers shut down "pot bank" before it even gets started, which will inevitably lead to customer withdrawals
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Post)
 
 
 
This Japanese town is populated almost entirely by creepy life-sized dolls
source: globalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Apparently, there are three types of belly buttons: innie, outie, and THAR SHE BLOWS
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
According to Pasadena Public Health Director Eric Walsh, Disney is a "dark empire" of superstition and witchcraft
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWQC Quad Cities)
 
 
 
Four middle school students try to make something edible in home economics by adding marijuana to cookie dough, then get the brilliant idea to sell the final product to their classmates and are now facing drug possession charges
source: kwqc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Over a million and a half people are being held captive in Connecticut
source: avon.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
47-year-old man sentenced to one year in prison for making a hot dog
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
The Battle of Slavyansk has begun. One helicopter pilot confirmed dead, with as many as four helicopters shot down
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
If you're a teenager and your mom's best friend asks you not to tell anyone about all the times she banged you while your mom was in the hospital, be man enough to respect her wishes. Bonus: 'Turn that frown upside down' mugshot
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
2000 year old hipster chick proves beyond doubt that gluten is bad for you, bro
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
More fallout from a bad economy? Adultery is up
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Bukkake may never be the same again (SFW)
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
170 injured on SEOUL TRAIN
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Most high school boys take a girl from anywhere between grade 9 through grade 12 to the prom. This boy takes his great-grandmother to his prom
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently, Paying $13,000 for a kitchen appliance is some people's cup of tea. Subby always thought economics abhors a vacuum
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
You will suffer great misfortune at work today
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Huh-lo zis 911? Ye'am cahhllin to report a drunk drihiiver"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
If you're going to get pulled over with 115 lbs of marijuana in your car, at least do it at mile marker 420
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Police K9 handler shows his 4-legged partner who's the boss by hanging the dog in the air and whipping it. all caught on camera by a concerned citizen
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ukraine: Screw it, let's just assault the f*ckers. Damn the derpedos, full steam ahead
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Vivid Video offering V. Stiviano twenty-four hours to film a "revenge porn sex tape" with several black porn actors for an undisclosed sum. Because every flash-in-the pan attention whore needs to make a sex tape
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark Photoshop Exquisite Corpse 2014: "All the World's A Stage" DIT and links previous corpses
source: freeversephotography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Zoo loses four animals to flooding. Two Patagonian Cavys and two baby otters. Wait--don't otters swim?
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fertility doctor is being accused of getting to know his patients up close and personal while they were under anesthesia for over a decade
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
NYC to 30,000 retired cops and firefighters: That $298 million that we deposited into your accounts last night? Yeah, about that
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Where's my suit? I need to be in the revolving hammock in 26 minutes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
MN teen and Columbine fanboy arrested a week before fulfilling elaborate plot to kill family and fellow students in mass shooting/bombing
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A pig like that, you don't eat all at once
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Florida mistakenly executes two inmates after a gas explosion levels a large section of prison intake facility
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
There are certain stage names that are just asking for trouble. This is one of them
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Having solved all crimes, cops now decide to harass wheelchair bound vets and their service dogs outside the VA, preventing them from getting care, arresting them, charging for non-crimes and more
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Scientists admit the magma within Mount St. Helens is 're-pressurizing', but tell the public, "Move along, there's nothing to see here." This is not a repeat of 1980
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The UK, once a force of world power, is now destined to be wiped out by blood-sucking bugs
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 01, 2014
(SFist)
 
 
 
San Francisco Zoo's newest family member is an incredibly ugly-assed 10-month-old red panda (w/pic of him eating a stuffed version of himself)
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Police said the 8 year-old brought the loaded gun onto the bus so he could amaze his classmates at show and tell
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Tired of sex with strangers in parked vans? Why not pay to have sex with strangers in a parked 'Hook-Up Truck'?
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Ten things that make you look like a clueless moron or complete tool while driving. Yes, YOU
source: oppositelock.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
How powerful was the Sunday night Arkansas tornado? It carried a truck from Mayflower to near Vilonia, Arkansas.... a distance of 27 miles
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
... and in this corner, vying for the title of 'Most Canadian Headline': "Mad Beaver Stops Traffic In New Brunswick"
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sure the Crips and the Bloods are dangerous but you really got to keep an eye out for gangs like the Very Crispy Gangsters and Cash Bama Bullies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drunk teen girl arrested for disorderly conduct, assault, battery, and causing a law enforcement officer to temporarily sing at a much higher register
source: texomashomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Come to the 5th Annual Bare Dare 5K at Caliente Nudist Resort. "You get a lot of mother-daughter combos"
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Caption these men and their scarves
source: l2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Do you think you'd be able to squeeze your life into a 200-square-foot home?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Crocodiles really do cry and animals really do feast upon their tears
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Yes, there is a video of the street in Baltimore collapsing. See the last 15 seconds
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this psychedelic magazine peruser
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Seriously, who spray-paints graffiti on a dead whale?
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
What's the latest thing that's going to kill you? Nail polish dryers
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Bell)
 
 
 
Hundreds of black birds fill woman's house, closely followed by hundreds of White Walkers with glowing blue eyes
source: cincinnatibell.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Bakery cooks up 852 pound, 1.8M calorie cake for soldiers just back from combat. That's only 36,000 Weight Watchers Points
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The hamburger shoe has arrived. What, weren't you waiting for it?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
People around Detroit are so desperate they're robbing Radio Shacks
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Remember that 7-foot statue of the Dark Lord Baphomet that Satanists want to place on the lawn of the Oklahoma statehouse? Well, it's nearly done
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Hey, gang - we're now batting 400 ... parts per million carbon dioxide
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Serious Eats)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: ways do you use yogurt to make your meals better? Difficulty: not just 'open container, use spoon to stuff face'
source: seriouseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Cops, Imma let you finish chasing me ... but first, Imma gonna drink these stolen beers
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time Lightbox)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fashion statement
source: timethemoment.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
TX Rape Crisis center says "Oh HELL No. Dafuq were you thinking, anyway?" after Judge decides to sentence convicted rapist to do 250 hours of community service at the center in lieu of jail time
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jamaica Observer)
 
 
 
Thumb thucking hath adverth effect on thpeech
source: jamaicaobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
Widow files a lawsuit against GM saying they tried to paint her husband and childrens' death in a car crash as a murder-suicide even though they already knew about the defect that most likely caused the crash and has now sparked a massive recall
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
OH private school has decided to do a blanket drug test of every single student starting this fall purely as a "preventative measure." That the school president's brother is the CEO of the company that makes the testing kits is pure coincidence
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Mexican authorities interdict drug cartel's ship carrying 68,000 tons of illegal ... iron ore?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're so damn high on the cocaine that you snorted and want to know what's in it, don't go to a hospital to find out
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
Chalk up divorce as another thing the Beijing smog is responsible for
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Dozens of schools, including UC Berkeley, are about to receive a federal sex probe. Giggity
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
Forced sale of the L.A. Clippers could cost Donald Sterling $200 million in taxes
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Residents, sick of Disney, Universal, and SeaWorld, rush to ride Florida's newest attraction: commuter rail
source: thesent.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
It turns out the smartest people do end up running the country. If by smart you mean came from a wealthy family that could afford to send them to expensive schools smart
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEZI Eugene)
 
 
 
Mother of man that attacked two women with a pick ax blames a) violent video games, b) the Police or c) Our country's failing mental health system
source: kezi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Kissing and hugging random strangers works well in the movies, but not so much in an Omaha Walgreens
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, a website that will make all your difficult decisions for you. And it uses math, so you know it's right. Don't worry, you can still ask TFD what to eat for lunch. We don't mind
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Social media specialist: "People go on-line to be entertained, and sometimes they see humour in things that aren't politically correct"
source: ottawa.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The armed anti-government play-warriors who built a military force around a racist redneck rancher in Nevada are turning on each other, so this might have a happy ending after all
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Seeing Jesus on toast. New Hotness: Seeing Jesus on a pancake. A Flapjesus, if you will
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Woman who spread feces inside police interview room is caught brown handed
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Senior prank gone wild after 60 students arrested for trashing, peeing on school
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Antibiotic resistant bacteria now killing 23,000 Americans every year. EVERYBODY FARKING PANIC
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pac-Man is finally welcome in a Massachusetts town after an arcade ban of 32 years was lifted
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Remember those old May Day parades the Soviet Union used to hold in Red Square? Well A) You're old, but more importantly, B) They're baaaaccccck
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Brace yourselves, America: Rob Ford, on if he loses re-election: "Once I'm done, I'm done. I'm going to California"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
From the journalist that brought you such hits as "Was I the only white guy cheering on 9/11?" and "Do Americans deserve to keep the food they grow?" comes "America has forced war in Ukraine with Fartbongo's imperialism"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Kentucky embroidery shop clarifies its policy: "We reserve the right to refuse to produce promotional products that promote homosexuality and freemasonry." Wait, freemasonry?
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ArabNews)
 
 
 
In a move that cannot possibly end badly, Saudi to let the internets complain directly to king. Link in article
source: arabnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
San Jose Sharks join the very exclusive "We've blown a 3-0 series lead" club
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Why only one banker went to jail over the financial crisis" Because we're run by the banking industry?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
It's springtime for Hitler, as he appears in lost family trip negatives found at thrift store
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Three years ago today, this guy unknowingly tweeted the U.S. raid that killed Bin Laden. Now? "People do bring it up now and then"
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
California prisoner suing Jay-Z, Beyonce, Kanye West, Chris Brown, and Rihanna for $2.4 billion because he believes they collaborated with the CIA, FBI, and Homeland security to steal lyrics from his mind
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
"Hello, 911, what's your emergency?" "There's a gopher snake fighting a squirrel in my backyard"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Going to church is about to get more bearable in Chicago
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this long distance phone call
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Chef at Japanese restaurant storms out of kitchen waving an 8-inch knife around like a madman because a customer complained about his tuna being "too fatty"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Ukraine protesters storm key buildings with baseball bats. First solid hit this year from a Curtis Granderson model
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Congress wants more control of Special Ops Iron Man suit. Don't they know this is exactly the sort of thing that caused the Armor Wars in issues 225 through 232?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Two men break into a lingerie store, bump into each other in the dark, causing one man's rifle to fire off, which spooked them both, so they both started shooting randomly, which made them think they were under fire
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
DOW closes at all time high, which is great news for the 98% of Americans who own 0.5% of the stocks
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Special needs boy has a seizure while on his school bus. News: The bus driver reacts by throwing him off the bus. Fark: And speeding away leaving the boy and his sister to seek help themselves
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Apparently the pixie and the bob are "in" as hip women's spring haircuts. "There is this unspoken sisterhood when you see another woman with short hair who has made the decision to go against the crowd and do something so bold"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
San Jose to offer 'pods' to homeless people. Don't trust them, I've seen this movie before
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jewish mobs harass Christians in Galilee. This is not a repeat from 33 AD
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when vandals break into your home and turn it into their own personal Jackson Pollock painting?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Scientists discover how ancient Egyptians moved 2.5 ton blocks to build pyramids, condos made of stone-a
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Sunglasses synch with your phone so you can't lose them, attempting to defy the immutable law of inverse relationship between the price of sunglasses and the mean time 'til you lose them
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Another week, another mass knife attack and bombing in Chinese train station that kills 3 and wounds 79
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
CSX trains can move one ton of freight 423 miles on one gallon of fuel. And then derail, spilling 15 tanker cars' worth of crude oil into the James River, and causing a fire forcing hundreds of Lynchburg residents to evacuate. CSX: How tomorrow moves
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Cop convicted for killing pedestrian while speeding... just kidding. They're not even filing charges
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
£1.3m home for sale claims to have the remains of Robin Hood buried in the back garden. Bonus: There's also a little john out back
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Portland Oregon decides not to piss away 35 million gallons of water
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 469: "Farktography Recipe Book 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 30, 2014
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Having trouble trying to figure out how to eat your placenta? Here's some help. Subby is going to try to make sausages
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
No wonder they got into Harvard--they used performance-enhancing drugs
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Toronto mayor Rob Ford caught on video smoking crack cocaine. This is not a repeat. Update: Rob Ford taking break to 'address the substance abuse problem'
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Awful Announcing)
 
 
 
KTLA sends out newscaster to cover SoCal fires, find shirtless 'bro on the street: "wow, you're super pretty, you wanna go on a date sometime?" #Bros
source: awfulannouncing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Earliest image of Jesus found, appears to be a Selfie
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MissouriNet)
 
 
 
MO state representative knocks out opponent in MMA fight, also two reps in sumo suits, with video goodness
source: missourinet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Crazy, overprotective parents demand zone in front of school be designated school zone
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"I figured something was wrong," he said, "when I woke up with my underwear in my hand"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Banter)
 
 
 
Shepard Smith calls Gawker story "Horsesh*t" in email to staff
source: thedailybanter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Women are so horrified and disgusted by man pleasuring himself with a sex toy, leather whip and clothes peg they have to look "several times as they could not believe what they were seeing"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this graceful dive
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
It's not weird that a dictator would commission a nude portrait of himself. It is weird, though, that he wouldn't encourage the artist to, ah, enhance certain parts of the painting
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What happens when a little boy pays his pocket money forward to buy biscuits for firefighters for their bravery? A VIP tour and friends for life
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Woman calling herself 'Jessica Rabbit' charged with prostitution, tells police she's not really bad, just drawn that way
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Clifford and his Big Red Dong
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Oh ya? Can't understand da in locals in Green Bays? Here's a guide to how dey talk in Wisconsin, once.. an'so
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Good Samaritan sees a young woman being accosted by two thieves, swoops in and saves the day. Instead of sticking around for praise, "after the incident occurred, he bought some candy for his children and drove away"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
In one rural community, the biggest event of the year is when locals race by grabbing the tails of two cows and making them run through mud. Surprisingly, this is not happening in America's South
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Hey Boo Boo, you want to get a haircut or something?
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Not news: Man busted in California with 1000 pounds of coke. WTFark: an 89-year-old WW II vet
source: pacifica.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
These dang teenagers today: text messaging, posting to the Instagrams, and printing up mechanical hands for crippled 9-year-olds
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Police to rape victim: Here, have a drink and some more rape
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News Insider)
 
 
 
Parents don't let your children eat chicken on the bone, it will turn them into little aggressive sh*ts that will disobey you
source: foxnewsinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
And the bar for Concern Trolling has just been raised to a new record height
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
The SCOTUS just ruled that patent trolls are more likely to get their beer money taken away for filing bullshiat lawsuits
source: yro.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mississauga News)
 
 
 
Police determine two men successfully stood their ground against each other
source: mississauga.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this knight in shining armor
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Male model doing 80mph in a 30 zone totals house and Audi. Then annoys police by only being concerned about his looks ahead of fashion shoot. Oh yeah, his name is "Storm Burger"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
How not to make friends in jail: hire a hitman to kill the children you molested
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Magic Johnson tells high school student he needs to ask more questions and find a mentor. Student takes advice immediately
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Old cold war satellite photos are finding ancient cities like Detroit
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
ATF closes Worst. Gun shop. Ever
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
1 million thermostats recalled after it is discovered they can make house way too hot
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOLO TV Reno)
 
 
 
"I know some of the guys I work with -- they have been spat at, or pushed over. They've been attacked. They've had to call for PD to back them up." Parking enforcement isn't for the faint of heart
source: kolotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
In Tennessee a pregnant woman can now be charged with criminal assault on her fetus if she sparks up a joint. Drinking a glass of chardonnay still ok though
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
My house is a bunker. Your tornado is invalid
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
Leave it to the Germans to build an igloo made out of refrigerators
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Listen pal, if you say you're worth all that money for being an escort, you'd better be worth it, you Prince Charming you
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Like a bull in a china...er, ox in a hospital
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Can you hear me Major Tom? Major Tom? Dammit, you're not even in the suit
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
New York legislator wants to end state's exemption from liability for pothole damage during pothole season
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"You are a prison guard, you are supposed to fix their drug problems, not enable them"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
83-year-old jewelry thief pleads guilty in latest case of making it too easy to pitch this film in Hollywood
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
UCLA cuts kidney research funding by $3M due to "divisive and hurtful" comments. That will totally show those researchers and patients
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bradenton Herald)
 
 
 
12 people in Sarasota, FL still haven't learned that there are no 14 year old girls on the internet who want to have sex with creepy old guys
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Donald Sterling is quickly running out of people he can screw
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Family returns to home destroyed by tornado to find their dog waiting for them wondering where they went
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Bull escapes from slaughter house, runs into butcher's shop
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
News: 4th graders kicked out of school for carrying bomb making equipment. Fark: empty magic markers are bombs?
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida Senator wants bill amended to consider "an act relating to the zombie apocalypse," which somehow isn't in every Florida bill by default
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Outdoor grills banned in Beijing. That should clean the place right up
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia takes a break from oppressing its citizens to criticise Norway's human rights record
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
England being invaded by weather balloons, mate
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
You've just missed your train to the airport. Do you: a) Wait for the next one b) Take the bus instead c) Cling desperately to the front of the train as it leaves the platform
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Newly licensed driver tells cops after chase: I didn't think I had to stop
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
You might be taking your fingernails too seriously if you start gluing dried flowers, rhinestones, LED lights, and crushed seashells to them
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Ukrainian Army on "full combat alert", also "full surrender alert", "full stomach alert", and "full of shiat alert"
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Pro tip: When trying to commit the perfect murder, don't write about how you would commit the perfect murder
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press-Enterprise (So. Cal))
 
 
 
Good samaritan pursues stabby purse snatcher & proves nothing good happens to a samaritan
source: blog.pe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
It seems a very educational site has been set up by students who want to bang their lecturers
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Walmart to offer auto insurance. That's just what I've always wanted... a policy that fixes my car with cheap Chinese parts installed by an 80-year-old man on welfare because he only makes seven bucks an hour
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Guy buys artwork at pawn shops, tries to sell it to store. Fark: Same store that it was all stolen from. Double Fark: Store owner had no idea that any of it had been stolen
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Are you afraid of spiders? How about invisible jumping spiders?
source: animals.io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Camels are now confirmed as the source of the MERS virus, emphysema, lung cancer
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Donald Sterling's girlfriend joins Daft Punk
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Retired Houston man gets tired of pothole, decides to fix it himself. By filling it with dirt. I'M HELPING
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Amanda Knox is guilty. Again
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Tennessee prosecutors indict a third man in the abduction and murder of Holly Bobo, despite giving him full immunity for his cooperation earlier. Apparently his defense forgot to demand the "no takesie backsies" clause in the immunity deal
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Journalism)
 
 
 
Quoting Winston Churchill is now a crime in England. Huxley's, Orwell's graves seen shuddering
source: westernjournalism.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman sets world record by wolfing down 12 pounds of pudding in only three minutes. What a waste of $240
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Obamacare is empowering former wage slaves to leave their jobs and become self-employed entrepreneurs. SEE, WE TOLD YOU IT WOULD DESTROY JOBS
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Russia is in recession...officially
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Public Library of Science)
 
 
 
Human FUD is toxic: why the cat still climbs into the spin dryer even when it knows the dog is a quack
source: blogs.plos.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
George Mason law professor was pepper-sprayed by classroom invader because mind control
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Note to teens: "To Kill A Mockingbird" is not the video game sequel to "Angry Birds"
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Three Beaverton women arrested for lewd behavior after twerking and exposing a ton of beaver
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"So we can't agree on a parking space, I am throwing this dog into traffic"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Meet the most spineless prosecutor in America who dropped charges despite an eyewitness and a solid DNA test
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Beef tartare with ants sounds ok but I'm trying to cut down on formic acid. I might try the sea urchin toast and edible helium balloons for dessert. Oh and and a diet coke
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Ceiling cat has nothing on the fury of an attorney who discovers a burglar tore apart his bathroom ceiling to get into the coin dealer next door
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
In some vegan circles it's okay to eat meat as long as it's roadkill
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
If you put all humans on a pile, they would take a really small space. Also, you would really not want to be on the bottom
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(When On Earth)
 
 
 
If you're traveling abroad just assume every attractive woman, rickshaw operator, and street urchin is trying to scam you out of your money
source: whenonearth.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Megachurch pastor Bob Coy not only had affairs, he also looked at internet porn, something that "fueled his appetite for sexual adventurism and lead to his fall from grace"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Not news: Man hangs out in park. News: So do his genitals. Fark: The name of the park. TotalFark: The name of the guy
source: ottawa.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his bowls
source: l2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you bring in gang members to talk about youth violence, don't hold the meeting on another gang's turf
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Two goats attack car in Maine. I bet it was a Toyota. Totes McGoats
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Den Of Geek)
 
 
 
Bob Hoskins has taken his last trip to Toontown
source: denofgeek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You may have hit rock bottom when you weigh 700 pounds and you find yourself on the local news begging the public to buy you a hospital bed so you can get a good night's sleep. "I can't go do something as simple as go to Wal-Mart"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(insidesources)
 
 
 
"American citizens aren't our customers-about 400 junk mailers are our customers. Your service hurts our ability to serve those customers."' - US Postmaster General Patrick Donahoe
source: insidesources.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Amish Mafia may be fake, but police insist Mennonite Mobsters is all too real
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A woman who claims to have had sex with a ghost on more than one occasion has admitted the experience was "really, really pleasurable" - a spirited romp you might say
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The shine is starting to come off glow-in-the-dark roads
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bad: an 81 foot blue whale carcass washes up on your beach. Worse: it will soon decompose and reek. Fark.com: or just disintegrate in a methane explosion
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Catching up with Lorena Bobbitt twenty years later, picking up the pieces and putting them back in place
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Colorado school makes kids say Pledge of Allegiance in Arabic, changes "under God" to "under Allah." You're damn right some people have a problem with this
source: gopthedailydose.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
How serious is Oklahoma about executions? As serious as a heart attack
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 29, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guy tries to take a selfie with a squirrel. Hilarity ensues
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Girl accidentally forgets a pocket knife in her purse, school hands down a totally reasonable 3-day suspension. Fark: Which the superintendent then promptly raises to a 12-month expulsion
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This just in: Dobby is actually a Japanese porn star
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian family gives up attempt to live like it's 1986, cuts off the mullets and buys a Nintendo Gamecube
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You know that discovered piece of papyrus written in Coptic that scholars were saying had Jesus referring to his "wife"? Yeah, fake. All that other stuff is real, though, no worries
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Will this untested drug combination actually kill someone? We'll find out tonight with a fresh 'guinea pig' from Oklahoma that's