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Sun April 13, 2014
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Camper stands his ground against kayaker who happened to be paddling by
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Seven babies found dead in Utah home (w/ "was that wrong?" mugshot)
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Increase tax on my $1.79 two-liter of Pepsi by 22 cents? That's a .22-caliber submachine gun to the face and a threat to kill everyone in the convenience store
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Carl Sagan Portal)
 
 
 
"Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey" episode 6 discussion thread and drinking game. 9PM Eastern on Fox
source: carlsagan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pink and blue pair
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Cops say guy who drowned in Little River wasn't lonesome loser, but Canadian tourist
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Raising taxes on the rich actually helped some people who make around $500k a year due to an obscure rule called AMT addback. This just happens to include people like the President
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
A woman that said she was attacked by five bears was in fact only attacked by one
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
If you set anything on the ground during the Boston Marathon, cameras will report it as a possible bomb. So you might want to leave small children at home if you don't want them detonated
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
There's stupid, and then there's "tweeting a terrorist threat to American Airlines" stupid
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man drives off 80ft cliff and survives, later credits Red Bull for giving him wings. No, really
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Douchebag tagger invents douchebag tagging drone so he can douchebaggedly tag hard-to-reach places from the safety of his douchebaggy douche lair
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Two marathon runners take the legend of Pheidippides' a little too literally
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
School district schedules FCAT exams, forgets all about Passover
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you ever listened to the song Kashmir and thought "Traveling there would be wonderful", you were wrong
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In order to make mail delivery profitable Canada Post will no longer deliver mail (Not safe for work image in article)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Japan introduces its largest warship since WW II, claims it's a destroyer even though it looks like a carrier. Naturally China has a problem with this
source: motherboard.vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Gunman on rampage targeting Jewish outfits in Kansas City
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time Lightbox)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mysterious man
source: timethemoment.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
A woman's sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship, according to research. Sherlock "No Shiat" Holmes, Captain Obvious, Ric Romero unavailable for comment
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How bad is the housing shortage in Manhattan?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Abdullah Abdullah leads leads early early voting voting results results in in Afghanistan Afghanistan
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
The best looking college strippers in New York come from Baruch and Brooklyn Colleges, the most rejects from Queens College and NYU. "They're not so good-looking. I don't know why. So far, none have met our standards"
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"I like my beer like I like my violence...domestic" sign gets bartender fired. FARK: the sign sports the Heineken logo
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Bought any potting soil lately? Congratulations, citizen, you're under arrest
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Prince William is just a regular guy, and he does stuff regular guys like you would do given the chance. For example, apparently he's been plowing Kate Middleton morning, noon and night
source: celebrity.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
M&Ms and Skittles will be the new 'dime bags' in our schools. Thanks, Michelle Obama
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Muslim blogger decides to wear a hijab in public to prove that people are racist. Fark: Everyone was nicer to her, and gave her respect (to be fair, this was Canada)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Jersey Tomato Press)
 
 
 
De-evolution: want to go back to living in caves? Keep driving your fat SUVs. INTL scientists release report from Berlin. UN Panel screams: wake the hell up guys. 2050 is looming - w mass extinctions
source: thejerseytomatopress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Please allow me to be amongst the first to call bullshiat on this story
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The Great Moral Dilemma of our Time: Should companies have the right to track an employee's fitness levels?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
For a brief moment in time, the Arizona Navy existed to make sure California didn't build an unauthorized dam on the Colorado River. Until the fleet got tangled up in some cables and needed to rescued by the Californians
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
True, drones do a lot of rotten things like blowing up wedding parties and spying on Americans. But they also discover ancient villages buried in New Mexico
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
After 103 movies, porn star watches herself on film for the very first time. No, she's not faking it. (w/video - SFW)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
"Crews confirmed one cow was in the swimming pool and was not distressed"
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Is Iran finally getting on board with that whole 21st century thingy?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Man arrested for numerous crimes including possessing meth, giving alcohol to minors, owning illegal firearms, and letting his family sleep in a house filled with trash and feces. Headline: "Father admits to smoking pot with young children"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Western Daily Press (UK))
 
 
 
Police determine that the missing man's body has been 40ft up a tree at a golf course for three years. Apparently someone didn't play the fair way
source: westerndailypress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
...and then there was that time the CIA and Howard Hughes tried to steal a Soviet submarine
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ledger)
 
 
 
That guy who names America's best beaches every year explains his criteria. Buried cigarette butts and dogs need not apply
source: theledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time Lightbox)
 
 
 
Photoshop this romantic moment
source: timethemoment.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The secret to happiness is to immediately stop and bask in the glow of appreciation every single time something happens to you
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medical Daily)
 
 
 
Free the Boobies
source: medicaldaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
PRO TIP: If you are standing around watching an alligator in a place called Alligator Alley you should be very aware and know that it's not just alligators that hang out there
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Highly paid female informant may soon have her identity unmasked thanks to a court order
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The ten most boring places in California. Meh
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Just in time for prom season, KFC rolls out the drumstick corsage. No word on the availability of the breast and thigh versions
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman hospitalized after meeting five bears in her garage
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Man in Superman hoodie saves baby from burning building. Clark Kent's wardrobe trifecta now weirdly in play
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Marc Klaas, child advocate and father of Polly Klaas who was kidnapped and murdered in 1993 slams Sheriff Laurie Smith, saying that she stonewalled the search for 15-year-old Sierra LaMar who was kidnapped while waiting for a school bus in 2012
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What are some good, creepy books? Not House of Leaves, I have that, just haven't read it yet
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Atlanta Farkers have lost the most upbeat, lovable traffic reporter known to mankind. RIP Captain Herb Emory
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Missouri plans to deter speeders by blasting 153 decibels of sound at them. What could go wrong?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Carol Grimaldi, 76, owner of the best Pizza in New York, passes away. Of course, everyone knows the best pizza is in Chicago
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Not news: Wedding. News: Priest sings during ceremony. Fark: It's so freakin' awesome
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 12, 2014
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Hepatitis C treatment cures over 90 percent of patients with cirrhosis. Still no cure for Pamela Anderson
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Magazine)
 
 
 
In New York City, 22 year old Measles Mary contracted measles and passed it along to four others. Difficulty: all five of these people should have been immune. Measles Mary and two of the others had actually been vaccinated
source: news.sciencemag.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Want a better sex life? Get married and go to church. SCIENCE HAS SPOKEN
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Mother of the year candidate takes her children on a vacation to Florida, kicks her 12-year-old son out of the car with no shoes on for reading the GPS incorrectly and sends her 8-year-old daughter out to look for more beer
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games till your mother is pulling you out of bed at 4am to go start car fires with her
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman within her work
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Legally purchasing marijuana from a vending machine? It's more likely than you think
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Ukraine crisis: Exchange of fire in Kramatorsk as police fend off attempted takeover of government building
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Victorian Joy of Sex: Those with sharp knees are energetic and earnest and prone to find fault with the indolence of others
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Chicago Sun-Times will not let readers comment on articles because, according to the managing editor, internet comments are a "morass of negativity, racism, and hate speech." Good thing he's never visited the Fark Politics tab
source: voices.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Instagram says its website didn't go down because of all the hipsters at Coachella; the failure was caused by "something else"
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everett Herald)
 
 
 
"Bouncing the mentally ill, homeless and/or addicted from one service to another is an expensive way to treat the symptoms, but not an effective treatment of the root cause of their problems"
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
Where's the beef? Probably at the grocery store because some people can't afford it since prices have risen to the highest level in almost three decades
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Thieves cut the power and break in to a business with the intention of stealing money out of a safe. News: They tried to pry the safe open but failed. Fark: So they stole $15,000 worth of hair-removal products
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
A Boston cop who was shot in the head during a shootout with the Boston bombers, dies a year later from a brain aneurysm while working out at the gym
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop these mopping military men
source: cdn2.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
If you're out and about in South Euclid, Ohio on Sunday don't forget to wave at the man holding the 'I'm a Bully' sign
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
People may consider Pope Francis 'old fashioned' for discussing the Devil in the 21st century, but that is not stopping his Crusades.. He warns us now of gossip being a tool of darkness, and how we must fight it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man critiques a woman's dancing abilities at a strip club. And things rapidly go downhill from there
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
American People - 1; BLM - 0
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star (UK))
 
 
 
Man chases down would-be burglar and made a citizen's arrest while wearing nothing but his Superman robe
source: thestar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Emirates 24/7)
 
 
 
When your "chiropractor" tries to help you quit smoking through acupuncture, you probably should be a bit suspicious. When his treatment includes choking people in his bathroom until they pass out, you probably should just run away
source: emirates247.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Woman charged with trespassing after approaching pregnant women and asking them their due dates making them feel "uncomfortable." No, really, that's why she was charged
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
EMF is killing you. It's UNBELIEVABLE
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Being the hottest woman on OKCupid has ruined her life
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Best 10 Jewish delis in the country. Mmmm, who wants to meet up at Katz's and stage Fark's first group fake orgasm. Well, first at a deli anyway. OK, fine. First today at a deli. Fine you win. Who wants to meet at Katz's?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vocativ)
 
 
 
Student: "Bullies are attacking me". Principal: "You're just making stuff up with no proof". Student: "I have video that I secretly recorded of them bullying me". Principal: "I'm calling the cops to have you arrested for wiretapping"
source: vocativ.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All About Beer)
 
 
 
The results are in: Beer is good. Some beers are REALLY good
source: allaboutbeer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Last weekend: "One ping, one ping only." Mid-week: "We have multiple pings." Today: "Um...anyone heard anything recently? No? Oh well...I think we're going to be out here for a long time"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Prom dresses are especially hideous this year. This is a repeat of every year since the invention of the prom, and probably even before that
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
About those breathless news reports about the NSA knowing about Heartbleed for two years and taking advantage of it? The NSA says that's not true at all, and if we can't believe the NSA, who can we believe?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Third-world nation with thriving drug manufacturing trade and long history of political corruption strongly objects to presence of UN observers during elections. Wait, did we say "third-world nation"? Sorry, we meant Tennessee
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Forget the Russian invasion of the Ukraine. They are planning to take over the moon, AND BEYOND
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Dutch prisons suffering from severe undercrowding and nation wonders where it can get more criminals
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Admiral Ackbar would like to talk to you about the juicing diet craze
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Driving in Oregon and want to flash your headlights to warn drivers of an upcoming speed trap? Judge: Not a problem
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
"When police searched his car, they found condoms, the loaded handgun and a shovel and duct tape inside." Apparently those Bingo games get pretty serious
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Kid)
 
 
 
Photoshop your mom (LGT example)
source: i.chzbgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
What, you thought parking rates at an oceanfront resort town would go DOWN?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Judge drops murder charges against 9-month-old baby for reasons
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitty Army)
 
 
 
After living on the streets for four months Dillon the blind kitty has navigated his way into a forever home, just in time for Caturday (w/photos & videos)
source: kittyarmy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
NSA monitors WiFi on U.S. domestic flights. Apparently it's considered a national security issue to collect tweets about how bad it is to fly on Delta
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Unknown vandal wrecks 84 public toilets in Tokyo park. Authorities have squat to go on
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Worst. Roommate. Ever
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"I eat 50 bananas a day"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The biggest economic struggle facing America today? Convincing youths that farming is an acceptable career choice
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What's the weirdest thing that you've seen at someone's house that they thought was completely normal?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Kindergarten teacher who felt he deserved more respect did the mature thing, tried to earn it. Either that or he urinated into other teachers' drinks. I forget
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The BMW 3-Series tow truck. Yes, it's a thing
source: truckyeah.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Sex is all fun and games until someone suffers a severe gummy bears injury
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Federal Aviation Administration)
 
 
 
No-Fly zone alert issued over Bundy Ranch
source: tfr.faa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Over sheriffs' objections, Florida House approves bill to allow concealed weapons during emergencies. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
To put it bluntly, you should not film your toddler smoking marijuana
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 11, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Twitter is so hugely popular that a full 44% of its users have never twitted. Wait, what?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cannabist)
 
 
 
Guest leaves pot in his Denver hotel room and is slapped with a doobious $200 charge
source: thecannabist.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Doctor gets five years in prison for waterboarding his daughter, which is weird because it's not even torture
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Research study finds 23% of Oklahoma high school biology students misunderstand key concepts of evolution. Excuse me, did I say "students"? I meant "teachers"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
"A spokesman for Iran's mission to the UN, Hamid Babaei, described the decision as 'regrettable' and said it contravened international law." Kinda like storming an embassy and holding the diplomats hostage, amirite?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Chipotle is just a free range Taco Bell
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Blue mustard plants on the rise finally giving foodies something to put on their waffles
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop the real joys of living the Schlitz life
source: img.fark.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Haunting images of WW II instruments of death that were swallowed up by time and a forest
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BT.com)
 
 
 
Forget boob enhancement and nose jobs. The real money in plastic surgery these days is in foot facelifts, sideburn transplants and palm line alterations
source: home.bt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Info Wars)
 
 
 
The Bureau of Land Management brought snipers to the Bundy Ranch to protect the desert tortoise. And by desert tortoise, I mean they want his land for a $5B Chinese solar farm deal
source: infowars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Is the innocence of youth being shattered by extreme porn?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Does your name affect your future? Let's ask lawyer Sue Yoo
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
Video
 
The Apes of Wrath
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Sheriff's long-awaited memorial includes highway sign with misspelling of 'sheriff'
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Things that are squirrels: squirrels. Things that are not squirrels: Lincoln Navigators
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nooga)
 
 
 
An open letter to the Nazis planning to visit Chattanooga later this month
source: nooga.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Things to not do with a $100k Mercedes. 1. Drive it through wet cement. That's it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Magazine)
 
 
 
Twitter about to roll out several new ways to annoy you
source: pcmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Dallas)
 
 
 
Snowflake's rehab for killing four people will cost $750 a day. Guess how much wealthy parents will have to pay out of pocket?
source: myfoxdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Salute, Eddie. After saving the lives of a dozen U.S. Army patrol members and countless people in an Afghan village, Eddie the IED sniffing Belgian Malinois dog will retire with full military honors
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Norwegian amnesiac may finally be allowed to Czech out
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fort Wayne Journal Gazette)
 
 
 
Squirrel causes $300,000 in damages. That explains why Drew is pimping TF
source: journalgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Create a beer label for your own personal brew
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. Currently only available to Totalfarkers
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Glenn Greenwald, who broke the Snowden story, has returned to the US. I'm impressed he could get his giant steel balls through the metal detectors
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
From the "are you sure this didn't happen in Florida?" files: Man learns baby gators are a gateway pet to big gators
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Steer breaks free from North Dakota slaughterhouse, ends up in Michigan. Your dog wants tofu
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Insta-karma: when douchebag cyclist runs stop sign, you honk at him as you slam on the brakes to save his life, and he road-rages while riding alongside you--and runs straight into a parked car
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Homeowner attempts to get a sex toy down a hole that's a bit too small, gets unexpected gushing
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huddersfield Examiner)
 
 
 
Ice-cream man has ding-a-ling stolen. Chuck Berry sought for questioning
source: examiner.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
How much fun would it be to get paid $94,000 to have fun?
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVQ Lexington)
 
 
 
Police get report of naked woman wandering around downtown, find woman having sex with a man in public. Police charge her with prostitution, indecent exposure, and after seeing her, consider tacking on making terroristic threats
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(SFGate)
 
 
 
Your résumé is impeccable, your references checked out, and you graduated at the top of your class. We've decided to go with another candidate, though, because you're a dick
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFMY 2 Greensboro)
 
 
 
Better ingredients. Better hepatitis
source: wfmynews2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
So this is what a Buffalo Ranch Doritos Locos Taco would look like, because Taco Bell says something new is coming
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincolnshire Echo)
 
 
 
You're a jerk for burgling your ex-girlfriend's flat. You're an even bigger jerk for making her stand in her underwear on her own balcony while you're doing it
source: lincolnshireecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
So, remember that Russian plane crash four years ago that wiped out the entire Polish leadership? Turns out it might've been a Put-on
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Daughter of clown car wants to be a clown car too. This is like the Arkansas version of Kamino
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Man, there is nothing worse than getting stuck on an international flight seated next to the obnoxious guy that is mumbling incoherently BECAUSE HE HAS LASSA FEVER
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Nørwegian fisherman finds big ørange vibratør inside cød's stømach
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
This murder case has EVERYTHING: a multi-millionaire who dumped his 24-year-old Czech bikini model for a bimbo four years younger, sappy YouTube videos of the breakup, a shotgun killing of the guy at his mansion and a 30-hour getaway in a gold Hummer
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
If you have ever wished to see a real-life Risk board, check out these satellite photos of the Russia-Ukraine border
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you've sent a package to a loved deployed overseas it's apparently stuck at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
That's $300 well spent
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Bronx teacher fired for refusing threesome with her boss. But that's not the real story. The real story is the raging argument in the comments section about the accepted use of "s apostrophe" vs "apostrophe s"
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Japan actually wants North Korea to lob a missile in their direction so they can shoot it out of the sky. Ronald Reagan predicted this would be possible some day
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
For over 150 years, society has attempted to remake office culture and no strides have been made. Clearly, this means everything is perfect
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Proposed watchdog group would warns students which for-profit colleges to avoid. Which would be pretty easy, as the answer is "All of them"
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Family Annihilator" added to FBI 10 Most Wanted list. *looks at pic* Alan Alda?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Walmart toe sucker gets 60 days in jail despite lack of digital evidence
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
This month there will be four 'blood moons', which is cool for stargazers but not so much for hardcore Christians, who say it marks the start of the Apocalypse. And before you dismiss the religious crazoids, there's a bit of history on their side
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Central Somerset Gazette)
 
 
 
When you're found guilty of not paying £100,000 in tax, what do you do? A Maori war dance atop Glastonbury Tor
source: centralsomersetgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
When getting an appendectomy, one would normally expect the surgeon to actually remove the appendix. Most of the time you'd be right. Most of the time
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
"Well we have lots of sewage here, think anybody will notice if we pump it into the creek?"
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Flying Spaghetti Monster religion to become official in Poland
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Badger Herald)
 
 
 
Europe, you've finally gone too far. This, this we'll fight for
source: badgerherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Derby Evening Telegraph)
 
 
 
The streakers' top-ten guide of places to strip off. Number 8 - a Salvation Army charity shop
source: derbytelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Pretty hard to say you won a jailyard fight when the followup news article includes the phrase "testicles partially detached"
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Your arson case might not be going well when your lawyer asks for 62 separate trials and permission for you to do your makeup and hair before each one
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Donald Trump soaks city on golf course for 236 million. Groundhog still elusive
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
God is suing a credit rating agency
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today thoughtfully compiles a list of places never to swipe your ATM card: 1) gas stations, 2) restaurants, 3) stores, 4) online. Phew, thank goodness whorehouses didn't make it on there
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
The great 1980s Dungeon & Dragon panic (The Beeb got a pretty good headline there so we'll go with that - old school tales of socially awkward teenagers, weekends spent in the garage/basement, & lots & lots of (liquid) Coke off to the right)
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
When you outsource your graphic design work to China, you have to expect a few surprises due to cultural differences. As this German company found when its mugs with a rose motif came back with a prominent photo of Hitler, who apparently liked roses
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Game of Thrones is such a big deal that in 2012 more babies were named 'Khaleesi' than 'Betsy'. 'Khaleesi', as in, "married to a murderous, pillaging warlord"
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
National Weather Service is forecasting three hurricanes for the 2014 season, jinxing it for everyone
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maine Morning Sentinel)
 
 
 
Hearse carrying a casket rolls over on I-95. Police find one dead
source: onlinesentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jesus not welcomed in Pennsylvania Elementary school. Well, to be fair, most unmarried, middle-aged men with long greasy hair wearing only a robe and talking about having the children "come unto him" wouldn't be allowed in school
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Since Drew is giving away TF free for the next 24, I thought I'd take this opportunity to tell you ALL too kiss my ass
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cheezburger)
 
 
 
He was as lame as a duck, Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something
source: cheezburger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you ever wanted to live in a house built to look like the Thunderbirds' Tracy Island, today is your lucky day. Bring money (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After nearly 17 years, the Bundy family is back for a new episode of Married With Children entitled "Showdown at Virgin Valley"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Cops are not amused when your idea of a prank is hiding behind a tree in a ghillie suit with an air horn
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this carpet seller
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boy Scout proves to bullies that he can indeed start a fire. Because it ended up on Fark, you know it backfired
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Chinese man named Bai Ting charged with biting police officer
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Searchers for missing plane now "confident" position of the black boxes is somewhere within the known universe
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Apocalyptic data breach at Experian credit monitoring service may have put 200 million identities at risk for identity theft
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this icepedition
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time Lightbox)
 
 
 
Photoshop le release
source: timethemoment.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Category 5 cyclone bearing down on Queensland Australia. Be safe Aussie Farkers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man running for Iowa Senate seat films campaign message full of smiles and family where he threatens to shoot the balls off the man who killed his sister
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
FedEx truck delivers 9 fatalities and 37 injuries in collision with tour bus
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Humans locked in cages while the apes run free. And so it begins
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
You may kiss the bride if you can hold your nose long enough
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
And you're getting TotalFark... and *you're* getting TotalFark... EVERYBODY'S GETTING TOTALFARK (for today only, your mileage may vary, void where prohibited, don't try this at home)
source: beesbeesbees.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 10, 2014
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Guy crashes truck. Tells cop: "Bro, I'm awake now"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wrap)
 
 
 
Remember, if you're fleeing from a knife-wielding maniac, don't run towards the police, they tend to be all shooty in those situations
source: thewrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just look at the mall rats scurrying around the decks of the deserted shopping malls of America
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Detroit)
 
 
 
Man loses wife to heart attack, wins lottery the next day. And he still has one wish left
source: myfoxdetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Your prom photo would have looked better if you would have inspected the rickety bridge first
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Mom of the Year gets busted shoplifting, does what any good person would do: blames it all on her 12-year-old daughter
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of San Diego)
 
 
 
California County Renames Easter Bunny as 'Spring Bunny' for its Parks' Egg Hunt Promotion
source: timesofsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Scientific proof that life gets better as you get older
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 3 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
Hillary gets the Bush Iraqi Press Conference treatment at Vegas Scrap Dealer's Convention
source: mynews3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Note to self: when stealing from a Home Goods store, resist the urge to immediately return items for store credit. Make sure those warrants are cleared up, too. Probably shouldn't leave the kid alone in the car, either. (w/mugshot goodness)
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Man misses court date, huffs paint thinner, punches a pit bull, and things just went downhill from there
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Free Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Create something recognizable using these fruits
source: freeimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Million Pit Bull March is organized for Washington DC. Guess what isn't allowed at the March? Pit Bulls
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sparkling wine? More like sparkling WIN
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Italy might cease to exist within five years. Well...ciao
source: thelocal.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
TSA finally starts protecting us from the real enemy: wheelchair-bound mute stroke victims
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Unfortunately now she'll never be able to tell us where she got the world's very best noise-cancelling headphones
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A simple analysis of why you shouldn't want a big tax refund each year, as told using marshmallow peeps (video)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Town declares Sriracha a 'public nuisance;' world feeling much the same way about that town
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marine Corps Times)
 
 
 
Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps explains how cutting the pay and benefits of junior troops will somehow make make the military a more disciplined, stronger organization
source: marinecorpstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Woman gets robbed on live TV while talking about how terrible her police force is
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Restaurants are out to kill you. More at noon, six pm and eleven
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Remember that DuPont heir who got sentenced to only probation and time at an inpatient treatment center for raping his three-year old daughter? Seems he never actually bothered to actually go to the treatment center either
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Sometimes, you just gotta park next to that hydrant to make it to the gym in 26 minutes. And, sometimes, karma happens
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
What wine goes with slippers and no pants? Boxed, of course
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Popcorn futures rise on news of authenticity of Jesus' wife
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Let's head out to the great outdoors. What are your tips and tricks for making the most of campfire cooking? Have some good recipes?
source: outdoorcookingchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
The search for Flight 370 has was declared "the most difficult search ever undertaken". Amelia Earhart could not be reached for comments
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Stabbing suspect's family was "like the Brady Bunch". Marcia, Marcia, Marcia
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Want to raise a bridge over a key shipping lane? First you'll need 47 permits from 19 different federal agencies, each of which is utterly essential and to remove even one from the decision chain would be total Somalia
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
In an effort to make Fark headlines more often in the future, the town of Downers Grove seeks to give an old folk's home a liquor license
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
You'd think by the time you're a teenager, you'd have learned how to use a child's swing and not have to get rescued by the fire department
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
Who would have thought a norovirus outbreak would happen at the restaurant notorious for its giant rat
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudy, will my fiance laugh at my "shame-shame" on our wedding night?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Author claims to have solved disappearance of 23-year-old heir Michael Rockefeller in 1961. (spoilers) Apparently his boat overturned off coast of New Guinea, he swam to shore, and was then immediately devoured by cannibals
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this melting mass
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
Video
 
Can you spot the subtle difference between actual McDonald's customers and TV-friendly McDonald's customers? A nuanced examination
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Certified organic pork rinds with extra stubble? Coming to a Walmart near you
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
And this is when spending $100 on a grilled cheese sandwich is actually warranted
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverfront Times)
 
 
 
News flash: Jellybean-flavored milk is the worst of both worlds
source: blogs.riverfronttimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
The 5 best video games (used as propaganda by governments)
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Woman posts a video of her beating her son with a belt on Facebook and tells viewers they are "free to call social services if they wish". They did. She's in jail now
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Why do some Eastern Ukrainisnd want to rejoin Russia? It's less about ethnic ties and more about the fact that the area is basically Ukraine's Detroit and people have forgotten just enough about the "good old days" to be nostalgic for them
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A million zebra finches randomly plucking strings on an electric guitar will eventually play the entire works of Jimi Hendrix
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Inmate's ingenious plan to get revenge on prosecutor by kidnapping her father doesn't end quite like he imagined
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Future Structure)
 
 
 
Wind farm to be constructed using only an Allen wrench and incomprehensibly vague instructions
source: futurestructure.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg View)
 
 
 
"The most segregated cities in the U.S. are above the Mason-Dixon line." Suck it, Damyankees
source: bloombergview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
You know, it was just the other day that I was saying "Boy, I wish we had a European war to fight. I miss the good ol' days" Well, the NATO chief has the same feelings
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Here's a question you probably haven't spent enough time wondering about: Do camel farts contribute to global warming? And if so, how much?
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Oklahoma entrepreneurs busted for running a combination meth by mail, hydro weed and cockfighting operation, proving yet again that over-regulation of small businesses is killing the economy
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YourTango)
 
 
 
The real winners in the continuing advance of same-sex marriage may be the divorce lawyers
source: yourtango.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
These aerial photos of Dutch tulip fields are simply stunning. Subby is happy to just get a dozen to bloom at the same time
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
"Twenty-one were stabbed in a Pennsylvania school rampage Wednesday, but all are expected to live - and one even took a selfie. Think how different the toll would have been with bullets"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
New report: Tamiflu is crap and we wasted millions of dollars on it
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Nancy Grace covered the Ultimate Warrior's death with nothing but class. Just kidding
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The latest member of Rob Ford's "the Eh-Team" has been recruited
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
No pressure, kids: that guy in the back of the auditorium watching you perform Billy Joel songs is Billy Joel
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Magazine)
 
 
 
Chicago also lowered their murder rates. By not reporting murders
source: chicagomag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Fisherman after catching 2-ton great white shark that dragged the boat 2 miles: I'm going to need a bigger chair... and maybe a bigger boat
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
Baskin Robbins worker facing jail time for selling 32nd flavor
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jamaica Gleaner)
 
 
 
Man running with scissors injures four. If only there was a well-known warning that could have prevented this tragedy
source: jamaica-gleaner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(War on the Rocks)
 
 
 
Somehow, Syrian rebels are getting their hands on advanced American anti-armor missiles. TANKS, OBAMA
source: warontherocks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
News: Man sets world record for wearing heaviest coat. Fark: It's made of more than 460,000 live bees
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
If you left your crocodile at T.J. Maxx Plaza, the police would like to speak with you. The crocodile would like to take a walk
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alvin Holmes (D-Alabama) offers to put up his house as a bet that whites do not adopt black children. Numerous families offer refrigerator boxes for the now homeless representative
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newspaper Death Watch)
 
 
 
Newspapers bet their futures on social media: "If you give readers enough top-ten lists and animated GIFs they'll do all your marketing for you. You don't even have to worry about search engine optimization because nothing ever went viral on search"
source: newspaperdeathwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Your official live hospital news conference on stabbing victims thread
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If a 'mega-preacher' sends you a friend request on Facebook, then promises $50,000 if you to wire $80 to an account in Africa, he may just be a money changer at the temple
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 29 Charlottesville)
 
 
 
Even without the streaming video, jury awards $5,001 to a man whose coffee pot was tainted with urine
source: nbc29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
An interesting look at the career arc of hitmen: "Everyone starts as a novice, whatever your job. You bumble around, make mistakes, learn by doing, then if not captured, move on to dilettante, journeyman and finally, the master"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Since you can already make boats and cars and guns with 3D printers, why not try to make a human heart?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know that bright flash of light shooting up into the Martian sky captured by the Mars rover? NASA says it's merely a shiny rock and it's certainly not an alien beacon and just forget you ever saw anything and go back to watching the Kardashians
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Official stashes meth pipe in his rectum. No word on if it damn near killed him
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Woman who tweeted "2drunk2care" before driving the wrong way on a highway at 100mph and causing a double fatality accident, will start caring now that she's being held on $600k bond. w/ yeah, you'd probably hit it in a drunken stupor mugshot
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Not to make you paranoid if you're currently growing marijuana in the privacy of your own home, but the federal government can and will legally seize your home if you growing marijuana in the privacy of your own home
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
WW2 veteran has specific instructions for knife-wielding robber: "You go to hell"
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
The IRS needs more money so you can send them more money. Please help
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Singing "Ding dong, the witch is dead" might seem appropriate when your mother-in-law passes away, but be advised it may not go over well with your husband
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Then and Now pictures from the Great War
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You can't even begin to grasp how much robot clams will someday improve your life
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
This is how America dies. Not with a bang but with one of the guys from Duck Dynasty giving public relations advice to a licentious congressman
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Polar vortex, pollen vortex, what's the diff? We're all screwed
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Coffee shop bans tablets and computers, sees an immediate uptick in sales
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Prosecutor: You killed 9 people. Suspect: Nope, try a little higher
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
More Pings raise hope that flight MH370 will be found. The Pings are cruel, cruel men
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Care home worker sacked for sharing photos of dead residents on WhatsApp group with captions such as "probably too much morphine"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you think it's ridiculous to buy bottled water, take a deep breath before you read this
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Researchers conclude that babies are the ultimate cockblockers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
If you steal a laptop, try and resist the urge to call customer service for help
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Cab driver repeatedly turns down smoking hot woman's sexual advances, so she gets him thrown in jail. Good News: He caught the whole thing on camera. Fark: Police didn't even bother looking at it until he sued (video is not safe for work)
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
For just $1,400 a month, you can share a 440-sq. foot one-bedroom apartment in New York with the saddest man in the world (pics)
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
64-year-old woman vows to complete the bucket list of the 21-year-old whose heart saved her life, says that though she doesn't know what a Justin Bieber is, she plans to blow it nonetheless
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Titanic officer may have 'played down' collision to dodge negligence claims - shocking considering the iceberg was up to 100ft high by 400ft wide, the 46,000-ton ship was speeding through an ice field at night, and the crew failed to spot it in time
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"The great part about it is, since squirrels don't have Internet access, they don't know that we're making fun of them," he said. "If they actually had access to the Internet, they would be angry"
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(Reference.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Buffoonery
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(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Miley Cyrus has filled the gaping hole in her heart after the death of her beloved dog Floyd by buying a gigantic inflatable replica of Floyd that can be rolled out in the middle of her concerts
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Men should pay more at buffets because they eat more than women
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mystery man found in a snowdrift in Norway after being tied up and drugged emerges from a coma to reveal he speaks English, is not Norwegian and has no idea who he is
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
News: Ice kills 9 blue whales near Newfoundland. Fark: 9 whales is 4% of their Atlantic population
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Kansas City, Missouri Police would like to remind you that there is, in fact, no hunting season for moving vehicles on highways
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Hide yo g-strings, hide yo grannies, cuz the Lingerie Looter is taking everybody's panties
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"More and more athletes are coming out of the closet...it seems homosexuality really is contagious." You may want to rethink that headline, Slate
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lost wallet returned missing $40, but with a heartwarming note
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Christ, maybe now Sting will shut the hell up
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Olestra speeds up removal of toxins from your body. Mind you, Olestra speeds up removal of lots of things from your body
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 466: "Tableau 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 09, 2014
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
So when you lose a bidding war for what you believe is your dream home, the most logical thing to do is pose as the buyer and request rape fantasies on craigslist
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Standing in line waiting to vote? Well, to bad; you can't use the bathroom until you're finished
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One million people are buried on this NYC island and no family members are allowed to visit their graves because it's too dangerous. To be a forgotten soul is pretty lonely
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
California is a disaster area. Moreso than usual, that is, because of 25% less snowpack
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Millions of Russians freaking out over video that shows expansionist Ukraine invading Russia and stealing territory. Story needs a tag that combines "stupid" "irony" "silly" "amusing" "dumbass" "weird" "unlikely" and "entertainment" yet not "Florida"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Do 300 year old Stradivarius violins sound better than modern knock offs? Only if you can hear pretentiousness
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Britons warned to eat fewer baked beans due to impact on global warming and proliferation of Dutch ovens
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this plea bargain
source: l.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
11 children injured after hit and run driver crashes into car, sends it into Orlando day care center
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Source claims Pennsylvania high school stabbing suspect not well-liked. Especially now
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
If you're going to impersonate a police officer, do something exciting like chase criminals or bust up drug rings. Don't direct traffic for a funeral procession
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Short-term thinking, personal irresponsibility, cynicism about playing by the rules, an aversion to socially productive labor - this is why poor people are poor. Wait, scratch that, that's why rich people are rich
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fire Rescue 1)
 
 
 
"Lighting a mattress on fire" may indeed cure your boredom, and "being a minor" might get you out of the first degree murder of a rescuer
source: firerescue1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Let's look in on how self-government is working in Iraq. Oh, dear
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Meal)
 
 
 
Let the great hot dog debate...BEGIN
source: thedailymeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
If you're going to a Lisa Marie Presley concert, don't show up dressed like either Elvis or Michael Jackson
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
"My biggest issue with the show was that we portray it as: We rescue animals. In my opinion, the animals weren't under stress until we arrived"
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(WISHTV)
 
 
 
If you're feeling chilly, do you a) turn on the space heater, b) go get a pizza, or c) fall asleep in your car while your house is burning down because you left to get a pizza without turning off the space heater?
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Not only can stem cells treat cognitive decline in the elderly, but apparently grandma can suck them directly from your children like that salt vampire on Star Trek
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Honduran illegal immigrants ask the Government of Mexico to allow safe passage, so they can sneak into the United States
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tanned hides
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Great news, everyone. We've solved bullying in schools. A guy dressed as shark told kids not to do it anymore
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBEZ Chicago)
 
 
 
Reporter asks Chicago Public Schools what is in their chicken nuggets. Well, there's chicken, and there's nugget
source: wbez.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
After Russia's Gazprom hikes natural gas prices 80% for it's Ukrainian customers, Ukraine this morning reminded Russia that its natural gas pipeline to Europe all run through Ukraine, who can shut them off if they want
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Woman forgets that Texas is farther away from Colorado than maps would have you believe
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The five things you should do about the new Heartbleed bug. Number one: PANIC
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
10-foot tree falls on Florida worker. *Face Palm*
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good news: if you sold an assault rifle in the past year then you made a nice profit. Bad news: if you bought an assault rifle in the past year then you're a sucker
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Warnings after epidemic of exploding whipped cream makers leaves users with facial fractures, neck wounds and missing eyes
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tipping thread....not like regular Fark. Grab some tissues
source: trendcup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HyperVocal)
 
 
 
Stabbing victim selfie is a new level of selfie
source: hypervocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
On Track 1, we have a Metro-North train heading into NYC. On Track 2, we have a dog in need of speed beating the train all the way in to NYC
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
For the good of the country, we need to ban the left
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Catholic cemetery's refusal to list cremated woman's death year on headstone escalates quickly. "What's next? 'I want to have a statue of Satan on the cemetery grounds. I want the Virgin Mary with a dagger in her womb"
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Briton)
 
 
 
The Wig and Penis? Bar's new advert is a bit of a cock up
source: westbriton.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Ben Johnson looking to inject a boost into Mayor Rob Ford's crack Election Campaign
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Much like the tech bubble and the housing bubble, the prom bubble has now burst. Families will only be spending an average of...$978? On a dance?
source: americasmarkets.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man convicted of murder though he was 2000 miles away, with video and photos to back him up, released after 24 years. The police withheld exculpatory evidence. How does his lawyer hope to make things right? "We're suing everybody, let's be honest"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Buying a new home in Melbourne? Be sure to ask the real estate agent about ravenous packs of house eating rats
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Reports that 20 students have been hurt after multiple stabbings at Franklin Regional High School near Pittsburgh
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Meet the handful of doctors who've managed to get filthy rich through Medicare billing
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Study proves that talking on your cell in public DOES make you an asshole. Angry counterpoints may be made to the the right, jerks
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gloucester Times)
 
 
 
If you have $3 million this morning you could own an old proto-American flag that isn't even the same on both sides
source: gloucestertimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook