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Sun March 02, 2014
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It turns out that flushable wipes are not flushable after all. Well, shiat
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN Living)
 
 
 
I now pronounce you, like, husband and wife, man
source: t.living.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
How one crazy, old, unemployed Ph.D turned his rent stabilized Manhattan hovel into $17 million
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Next time your wife complains about her day, remind her that at least she didn't have a "man dressed in a Barbie costume holding you hostage in a Big Lots bathroom" kind of day
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Geez Montana, even lightning avoids you
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Sometimes carnage is best delivered on time
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic mountain. uıɐʇunoɯ ɔıʇsǝɐɯ sıɥʇ doɥsoʇoɥd
source: daypic.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Painture? Sculpting? Whatever it is, it seamlessly blends painting and sculpture and it is awesome
source: travors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Not news: Man breaks in to house. News: Woman in the home warns the man she has a gun and will shoot, and does, killing the man. FARK: This is the 8th time someone has broken in to their house
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
World's oldest person celebrates her 116th birthday, gives advice for living a long life that Subby can definitely follow
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Sorry ma'am, you can't get unemployment because you quit your job because you didn't want to drive 35 miles to work. Deal with it"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
The Oscar Pistorius murder trial goes full OJ after getting its own TV channel
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mercury (Australia))
 
 
 
Good: Old guy with pneumonia is released from hospital. Bad: Staff allowed him to sign himself out, even though he has dementia. Fark: His wife was told that he was at other hospital and wrong room, before she found him wandering with bag of pills
source: themercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Hundreds of assorted prescription pills ✔ $175k in cash ✔ 4 bags of marijuana ✔ 49 guns ✔ ... Just another normal day in Tennessee
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It is also going pear shaped: Ukraine mobilizes it troops and calls up the reserves, large crowds demonstrate in Moscow demanding Russia invade, the Ukrainian Navy Chief declares loyalty to an "independent Crimea"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
"The natural explanation of 'successful' water dowsing is that in many areas water would be hard to miss. The dowser commonly implies that the spot indicated by the rod is the only one where water could be found, but this is not necessarily true"
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today Online)
 
 
 
Man arrested for allegedly cheating at casino, faces S$150,000 fine and/or seven-year sentence for "Use or Possession of Equipment, Device or Thing that Permits or Facilitates Cheating in the Casino". Thing?
source: todayonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Marijuana decriminalization has the for profit prison industry fearing hard times
source: wealthdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man in the mirror
source: l2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Why should we study philosophy?" We shouldn't
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
College administration to faculty and staff: Yeah, I'm going to need you to go ahead and sign this paper saying you believe in fairy tales
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
The Girl Scouts are now scouts for Jihad extremists as they are controlled by a Lesbian "Girl Experience Officer" according to Rush Limbaugh and Breitbart.com
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politifact)
 
 
 
Washed-up has-been AW Ted Nugent now claims he's been a cop since 1982. Something smells about that story
source: politifact.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Official in charge of regulating amusement park rides: "The industry is very self-policing. We do like small businesses. We work with companies rather than ding them for doing bad things." Because carnies are known for their business ethics, right?
source: insurancenewsnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
That avalanche in Montana that buried three people and destroyed a house? Yeah, it was caused by a snowboarder
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
For the first time in 20 years, Boston's St. Patrick's Day parade will be significantly more FABULOUS
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Last day. Capricorn 15's. Year of the city - 2014. Carousel begins
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indulgd)
 
 
 
Have lemons, make lemonade; have potholes, make art
source: indulgd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Hey ladies, ever wonder what your chances would have been like in Salem back in 1692 if you'd been accused of being a witch? Let's just put it this way...we hope you weigh more than a duck
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Most people have no idea what it takes to be a Secret Agent Man, it involves a little more than just "shaken and stirred"
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Florida supreme court to death row inmate: "Sorry pal, you're not retarded enough to duck the death penalty. See you in hell"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Maybe this female teacher regrets bedding the teenager, but one is sure that said teenager doesn't feel the same way
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Despite their past and current problems, the New Orleans Police Department handles the massive Mardi Gras crowds with an amazing level of professionalism and pragmatism
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
French guy surrenders at 96.9% to see if it was possible to live using only French-made products for 10 months, as part of a television documentary
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Buffalo from Yellowstone National Park are now free to breed without risk of disease. First increase in herds since the last bisontennial
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
Little old lady with a big pickup truck in Las Vegas discovers this mall has everything and the now Oldsmobiles are in early this year
source: reviewjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Mother, 53, arrested for battering daughter, 25, with used diaper, complains it's a bum wrap
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gesturing jester
source: images.buycostumes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Rhineland has holiday devoted to women doing whatever they want, called "Weiberfastnacht." Common behavior includes clipping off men's ties with scissors and compensating the victim with a "Butzie"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RYOT.org)
 
 
 
When this woman's mom ordered her to find a man and have a family, she obliged. There's a twist, though: her new family members were all just mannequins
source: ryot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
International Surfing Museum founder Natalie Kotsch catches the last wave, hang-loose Natalie, hang-loose
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's Sunday morning. Here are 14 pancake recipes
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman in her 60s discovers men in their 20s will hump anything
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Russian forces have disappeared from Simferopol, huge pro-Russian crowds are no longer present, and the Crimean peninsula returns to normal. Can we stop waxing the tadpole about WWIII now?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
What one little boy did with $20 he found, and what he did after
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
President Obama told President Putin on a call that sending troops to Ukraine flouted international law, ruined his Sunday, and he'll remove any Facebook likes he gave Putin, the very next time he's on Facebook ...... unless a staffer does it sooner
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Ukraine declares general mobilization after Russia approves use of military force in Crimea
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Nothing sucks like Electrolux. So says employee who was fired for urinating into box, because supervisor wouldn't allow her to take bathroom break
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
In the late 1800s, New York City was covered in an insane web of telephone and telegraph wires
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Three women are arrested after beating, kicking, punching, slapping, choking and making a fourteen-year-old strip down to her underwear as punishment for being suspended from school. Sick tag beats Florida tag for obvious reasons
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 2 hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska hosted by a farker
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pardon sought for Texas man convicted of murder as evidence uncovered revealing prosecutor's cover up. Congratulatory cards can be sent care of Rose Hill Cemetery
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 01, 2014
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Will this winter EVER end? Will you have a snow day on Monday? Will you get drunk and lose your pants AGAIN? All these questions answered here AND MORE: It's your OFFICIAL Winter Storm Titan Discussion Thread (w/forecast and snow totals)
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Family hears sounds coming from their backyard all night and when they investigate in the morning they discover the noise is from: A) a coyote B) a bear C) a 2-year-old Native American
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Police arrested a twenty-one year-old man who stole a tip jar full of cash for Girl Scouts who were going to use the money to buy cookies for soldiers deployed overseas. You just know he's going to get slapped with a harsh jail sentence
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this refreshing moment
source: summerbitchin.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Heads up LA... Toronto Mayor Rob Ford and his Bros are coming to town for the Oscars and an appearance on Kimmel. Why? Why the hell not... This has the potential to set the script for "Hangover episode Ford"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Austin)
 
 
 
Texas Court: Alleged sexting between teacher and a minor is free speech
source: myfoxaustin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Don't drink the water, protect your fridge and beware the violent toilets. What is: advice foreigners give each other for trips to the U.S
source: travel.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Mayor Rahm Emanuel and Jimmy Fallon to join record-number of Polar Plungers in Lake Michigan on Sunday. They nuts??
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kens 5 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Criminal justice major at bus stop videos police running a speed trap and posts to Facebook: "This is where your tax dollars are going, hard police work." Yes, that's an arresting
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
TSA is now searching your luggage for Bitcoin. Shiny metal bitcoin
source: dailyanarchist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Russian troops invade the Crimean region of Ukraine. This will not end well
source: news.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Christian anti-gays create Trail Life USA as an alternative to Boy Scouts, with the cutest little loyalty salute you'll see all day
source: news.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Lamb-flavored beer. Your argument is invalid
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad: Your best friend has a rare genetic condition with little money for research. Good: You write a book and raise over $750,000 for research. FARK: You're 6-years-old
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Maybe we should eliminate the middleman and just let wealthy people rent judges directly. It works with hookers and clowns
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
"I used to grow organic rice... But I can't do it anymore because of consumers' worries over radioactive contamination, I want (Fukushima operator) TEPCO officials and bureaucrats of the central government to eat the Fukushima-made rice"
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Smoking hot 24-year-old redhead: "I've slept with 300 people, spend five hours a day having sex" (w/pics)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
What is the biggest concern for people working and attending Mardi Gras this year? A) Alcohol consumption B) Crime or C) Dirty beads
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Fireman with big brass balls has a ceiling fall on him while fighting a fire, doesn't realize he has first and second degree burns on his back and keeps fighting the fire
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this head being held
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Austin)
 
 
 
Student finds out what small town thinks of his taking of honor band for two years by making him #2
source: myfoxaustin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
DMV tells woman the 2006 Chevy Impala she bought from a dealership is stolen. Surprisingly they weren't just trying to get out of doing their job
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
NewsFlash
 
At least 29 dead and more than 100 wounded after deadly assault-knife attack in China
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Montana bar founded in 1883 has never locked its doors, is determined to keep the streak alive during the worst storm seen in decades. "We're going to be here and we're going to be open serving beer, serving food, whatever it takes"
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
How can you do a drug deal in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot and not expect police to notice?
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
I have no idea what's going on in Crimea, so here's Bruce Springsteen covering Royals
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Welcome to DiBlasio's New York, where you can now get a ticket for taking a morning jog in Central Park
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
If you are calling the FBI to report a bank robbery, please press one. Unless you got our phone number from Google Maps, then please press 5 and hold for Lamar. For a blueberry pie using Aunt Bee's best happytime recipe press 351
source: valleywag.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Tennessee State University will be implanting chips in students in order to track their whereabouts. Just kidding...they just have to wear ID badges that can track them at all times. Failure to wear badge results in disciplinary action
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you're going to steal a boat from Bass Pro Shops, make sure it is securely attached to your truck. If you can't do that, at least make goofy smiles in your mug shots (pics)
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chick)
 
 
 
Love him or hate him, Jack Chick has put out yet another Jesus comic. This one seems to be about corporate internship leading to Hell
source: chick.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Marines happy they are once again allowed to roll up their sleeves. Apparently, this is a big deal
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
100-year-old guy gets more tail on the dance floor than you could ever dream of. Warning: video includes a short twerking episode
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Get your guns, Georgians. Lost, elderly Alzheimer's patient hunting season is now open
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
TV station turns top 10 list of stores with worst customer service into worst slideshow. (Warning: 34 slides to show 10 stores)
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Brew)
 
 
 
Baltimore City Paper locks all its writers out from their own blogs over the fallout from a negative review of a Jason Aldean concert. Reason? Under Armour was protecting its house
source: baltimorebrew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
San Francisco's plan to harness the power of public urination: Deploy mobile 'pee stations' that use modular biofilters that turn urine and waste water into nutrients for plants growing in each individual unit
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
High school student gets a sexy NFL cheerleader to go the prom with him by promising her 10,000 re-tweets on Twitter. Wasn't this from an episode of 'The Brady Bunch?'
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
President Putin: "Hold my vodka, I'm going in"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Students in Venezuela are rioting because they don't want to have a extra long vacation that their president is offering them. Wait, what?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jesus Saves
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Strange wet mystery substance in L.A. called "rain" fells Big Boy statue at chain's oldest restaurant. "You maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, DAMN you! Goddamn you all to HELL!"
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
There are Goat Arousal experts?
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man working his muscles
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Smoking weed gives the munchies so just seaweed, then you'll lose weight
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
You can really tell that times are getting tough when Betty White needs gas money to come visit you. Pre-paid Visa or Green Dot card, please... in advance, you little punk
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Kitten orphans video. Sorry, I almost awwwwwed myself into oblivion. Happy Caturday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man claims he has eaten nothing but cheese pizza for 25 years, may have life expectancy of thirty minutes or less
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman jailed for selling £160,000 worth of printer cartridges bought with public money on eBay. Note: Article does not mention if the 5 cartridges were recovered
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Detroit takes top honors once again; this time it's in the winter "misery index" category. Congratulations Motor City
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Swans can swoon and sing swan songs for another day in New York for they won't be slaughtered yet... until they are instead wiped out with birth control
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When a gentleman engages in fisticuffs, he does not drop his champagne
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for felony assault after stabbing teddy bear. Radar inconsolable
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Eleven of the worst types of people you get stuck behind in line at the grocery store
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 28, 2014
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Doctors Without Borders now have one, thanks to Myanmar
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
Thief gets away with daring restaurant break-in. Just kidding, he got stuck in the dumbwaiter and called police to rescue him
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Rival Syrian rebel groups are pushing ISIS into the... DANGER ZONE
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Human Barbie stops eating and drinking, now lives off light and air... well, that and delusion
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop these players at practice
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
So of course "scientists" have done "scholarly research" about whether warm drinks get you drunk faster
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Chinese state media calls outgoing ambassador Gary Locke 'yellow on the outside, white on the inside.' That's bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You know how your whole life you've been using shampoo in your hair and then conditioner? It turns out you've been doing it wrong this whole time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Party NYC? Anybody?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you chose drugs as the reason Philip Seymour Hoffman died, come claim your prize. Oh... everyone? Looks like we need some more prizes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Caption this photo from the set of The Empire Strikes Back
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Walt Disney World cuts off funding to Boy Scouts over their anti-gay stance. When you've lost Tinkerbell, you've lost everyone
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Good news: You won your age discrimination lawsuit. Bad news: You lost $80,000 settlement by violating its confidentiality clause. Fark: Because your daughter bragged about settlement funding her European vacation on Facebook
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Iowa Republican submits bill allowing women to sue abortion providers because of "abortion regret." Remember, though, frivolous medical lawsuits are bad
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
'Sir, why were you speeding?" "I just won $50,000 from the lottery"
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fellow on a frozen formation
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Turns out that the warehouse from Indiana Jones is in Queens
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
Planned Parenthood decides they aren't performing enough abortions, comes up with new plan on how to get more women involved
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Former Ukrainian President Yanukovych does his best Baghdad Bob impression, says "Nobody deposed me"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
The best part of waking up . . . is doing it before you're embalmed
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Photos that illustrate what the FDA's new serving sizes actually look like. Enjoy your tenth of a bagel
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOLO TV Reno)
 
 
 
"Hey Dad, take a look at this new gun I bought to keep us safe from-" **BANG**
source: kolotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Geeky musician who lured underage fans to send him porn pictures predicted in an online chat with one of his victims his exact sentence, which was handed down today: "that's like 5 years in federal prison and sex offender registration"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Starting tomorrow in Oregon, rather than just saying "Nope" and signing a form, you must actually consult your family doctor or watch an hour long online video in order to get a vaccine exemption
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
And now, to separate the people who worked this week from those who didn't: it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz
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(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
News: Truck overturns and closes street. Tragedy: Beer truck. Burning question: For the love of Fark, what type of Beer?
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Special Broadcasting Service)
 
 
 
Ukraine: Hey there NATO. Say, you guys remember that wacky treaty we signed in 1994 where you promised to defend us if we were attacked in exchange for us giving up our nukes? Yeah, funny thing, never thought we actually need that, but
source: sbs.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Virginia's Dominion Power had excess profits of $280 million during the last regulatory period, which it was required to return to customers in the form of rebates. But don't worry, state lawmakers re-wrote the law to let them keep it, instead
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Spiffy: New law will let prisoners get an writ of Habeas Corpus to get a hearing to challenge convictions involving expert testimony they believe was based on "junk science". Strange: in Texas. Scary: It is the only law of its kind in the US
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Tennessee Teabagger and sometimes Birther wants all the state's sex offenders to have the words SEX OFFENDER stamped in red on their license plates. Hey, at least he's not going after the gays
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
How not to treat customs officers when they ask for your passport
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Five friends every woman should have, so they can pretend they're in a romantic comedy
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Broward/Palm Beach New Times)
 
 
 
WARNING: There is no statute of limitations on spider bite deaths
source: blogs.browardpalmbeach.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You would think any country in the world would love to have new citizens committed enough to climb 20-foot tall stacks of razor wire in order to live there, but you'd be wrong (amazing pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
The Florida woman behind the Attractive Convict meme thinks you owe her some cash, internet
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
What Chicago could look like in 2034. Hint: The pizza still sucks
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Judge tells juror having heart attack he 'can wait'
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Nasty, foot-long parasitic worms make leap from wildlife to U.S. domestic cats
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A lot of people say the Bill Nye vs. Ken Ham debate accomplished nothing. On the contrary, all the attention allowed Ken Ham to reach his $73 million donation goal to build Noah's Ark
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
According to IRS rules the CA couple who found $10 million in buried treasure on their property may end up paying almost half of it in taxes this year, meaning they'll only be FIVE million dollars richer. My tiny violin, let me play it for you
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New study claims the men have a "biological clock" that drives their need to procreate. Subbette believes that's called "the lifespan of a man"
source: thechart.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Talking and texting are still illegal, but a California court of appeals has ruled that it's perfectly okay to use a cell phone while driving ... if you use it as a map. Which is mixed news for Apple Maps users
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
SeaWorld sues OSHA investigator for daring to expose their horrifying, unsafe workplace to the public
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The New York World's Fair in 1964-65 was an age of wonder, where the country looked ahead to fantastic glittering future. Let's take a pictorial look back at the world of the future
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you're minding your own business outside your home and then you're forced to wrestle with a bear who just came out of nowhere?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Log Cabin Democrat)
 
 
 
Woman's attempt to shoplift 330 pizza rolls from Walmart doesn't pan out
source: thecabin.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(World Review)
 
 
 
China joins the US, South Korea and Australia as they circle the Antarctic like vultures, waiting for the resource-rich region to open for business. This final frontier is where the last major battle for the environment will take place
source: worldreview.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
It's never really a kindergarten play until the fists start flying
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OnMedica)
 
 
 
Is your doctor disinfecting their stethoscope between every patient? THEN THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU
source: onmedica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
City discovers it's legal for handicapped people to park in non-handicap spaces
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Court rules convenience store employee who beheaded co-worker can take unsupervised trips from mental hospital, since there can only be one
source: southtownstar.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Marriage counselors recommend couples have sex twice a week to improve intimacy. Columnist wonders why twice? "Twice is better than once and once is better than none, but how did we arrive at this idea that twice a week is a good amount of sex?"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Not saying it's been raining a bit more than normal in Southern California, but subby's neighbor just asked exactly how long a cubit was and where he could get a really large amount of lumber
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this orange ball
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
New Snowden revelations: The UK is storing millions of images taken from Yahoo users' webcams, many of them sexually explicit. Tag is for the thought of naughty UK webcam images (Not safe for work)
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
It's no coincidence that the Sexual Revolution developed at the same time the Polaroid Camera hit the market
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
90% of Americans think the internet is good for them. The other 10% recognize it for the wretched hive of scum and villainy it is
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CultureMap)
 
 
 
Bride insists on donut wedding cake "because my husband is a police officer". This should Code-4 well
source: houston.culturemap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Pants are optional. Unless you are walking down the street and passing by a school
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I have a feeling Studman69 is a plastic surgeon
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Teacher accidentally shows pornographic pictures of women with amputated limbs in class, now finds he doesn't have a leg to stand on
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
From the slow news day files: Cow, born with spot on head resembling the shape of the state, spawns lamest pun laden article ever. It's not news, it's the farm report, with less
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Crimea river
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Man is suing McDonald's for $1.5 million claiming he can't work due to the "undue mental anguish" caused when a manager refused to give him another napkin
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Bubble Boy. New hotness: Bubble Beijing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Homeowner surprised to find milk delivery is still available to his house. 6,000 gallons of it
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 27, 2014
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man has a unique hobby: witness every single execution held in Florida for the past twenty-five years
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCET Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Fracking waste is not getting into the groundwater. That's because it's being dumped into the ocean
source: kcet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Today's "OMG CHEMICALS ARE SCARY" story has everything: Dunkin Donuts, the UN and activist bloggers
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Begun, the great cereal ranking wars have
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this canine superhero
source: hdpaperwall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Settle down people, those South Park guys have it all wrong. People don't get their own planets in the afterlife
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Student with ketchup addiction leads bland life
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
The family that steals together does meth together, or something
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Army officials at Virginia's Fort Belvoir: All our base are belong to you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Writer rants about why we should stop using 'rant' to describe rantings
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Russian gold medalists will receive $120,000 and a Mercedes SUV. US gold medalists will receive $25,000 and a tax bill from the IRS. Switzerland's cross country gold medalist? He got a pig named "Sochi"
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Coolest video you'll see today of a B-1 bomber faceplanting on a dry lake bed
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Felon finds out a security system wired to call the cops maybe isn't the best idea for a marijuana grow house full of illegal guns
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Finally, something to distract us from the normal smells of South London
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Do you have meat-free versions of favorites that will wow us? Do you simply opt out of the meat in recipes or do you try to build in substitutes? You mix it up and no recipe holds you back... so show us your meat-free style
source: ohmyveggies.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Create a (de)motivational poster to explain Fark
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Farkworthy™ thought of the day: "Sometimes you just have a bad day at the dungeon"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Guy goes to a hospital claiming to be the stepbrother of a man in coma. Does the hospital C) Let him pull the plug on the life support?
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
"Hello I like your doughnut shop, I want a doughnut please." "Sorry sir, this doughnut shop does not sell doughnuts"
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Can't afford your pill habit? No problem, your neighbors will be glad to help you raise money for your dead child's funeral
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Obama has released the homo demons on the black man. Look out black woman. A white homo may take your man." Thanks, um, Obama?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
From Judd Apatow comes a new comedy where the goofy hero takes on....the Senate?....about awareness for Alzheimer's?....starring Seth Rogen?
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Alaska wants humpback whales removed from pesky endangered species list, proposes re-classifying them as "North Pacific Oil-Tanker Speedbumps"
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Turns out Canadians can't drive in the winter either. Good luck, southerners
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
It's turtles. Turtles all the way down
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Eric Holder hospitalized for breathing fast and furious
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Apparently there are men who believe dipping their penis in a jar of Nutella is a great way to get a blowjob. Also, vagina barrel
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dear Abby: Should I tell my married boss that everybody in the office knows that he is farking his secretary?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
This new app finds all the Girl Scout cookies in your areas, making it the only app you'll need today outside of Flappy Bird
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Times (Nigeria))
 
 
 
Man arrested for having sex with goat claims he asked the creature's permission, first. Good to see that chivalry isn't dead
source: dailytimes.com.ng   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Obama's hurricane machine may actually be useful for good as well as evil
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Accused drunk drivers could get licenses back after state accidentally requires breathalyzers to be accurate
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
"Just hand over the money and I won't shoot anyone with this cucumber in a sock"
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
"I thought cocaine wasn't illegal in Florida"
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
While in Scotland be sure to visit the Mary Johnston which attracts thousands of tourists every year to catch but a shadowy glimpse of this strange mythical creature
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Feminist porn directors talk about money shots and purple monkey dishwashers
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Woman racks up $972 parking charge at Denver International Airport
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Juuuuust when it looked like we might legalize pot once and for all, somebody had to go and give the naysayers something to wring their hands about: A distilled form of THC that's " like smoking 20 joints of the best grade of weed in one hit"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: a tiger walks in to a bar
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Meet the Kesh Angels, Morocco's Number One Girl-Only Bike Gang
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 23 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Man embarrassed after two teenagers steal his truck and crash it after taking it for a joyride. Wait, did I say "teenagers"? I meant to say "dogs"
source: fox23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Man unsuccessfully stands his ground against jackbooted thug trying to pull him from his vehicle without a warrant merely because it was on fire
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
We all know about North Korea's crazy fascination with dogs but putting a pack of Yorkshire Terriers in a Zoo is really a little odd
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Man to survive after 14 shots. Sounds like a Farker
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Chinese man becomes first person in the country to sue the government over smog, is now enjoying much fresher air in his basement solitary confinement cell
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(High Life)
 
 
 
Virginia may be for lovers, but Antarctica is for ... snorkelers?
source: highlife.ba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
For every ten minutes you can go without looking at your smart phone, Georgio Armani will provide water for a day for a child in need
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Structural engineers around the world tout the most advanced building material that is taking the construction industry by storm and will utterly remake city skylines ... wood
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Increasingly beligerent North Korea conducts latest round of offshore missile tests; experts say if not for gravity, the weapons wouldn't even have been able to hit the ocean
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
When you're a college kid, everything in the world can be turned into a bong. Igloo on campus? Oh yeah, that's a bong
source: us.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Colorado increases enforcement of DUIs from people driving while stoned. Chases with police and suspected pot smokers now reach speeds up to 7 mph
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Your auto repair shop "may have" substituted used parts for new. Nothing a SWAT team can't solve
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OC Weekly)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Biker gangs. New hotness: Disney gangs
source: ocweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
"A China-Japan war that seemed impossible at the turn of the century, when I was living in Tokyo, has moved past being improbable to become believable. Chinese and Japanese heavily mistrust each other and their economies have begun to delink"
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Those lithe French women, eh? With their lettuce diets, coquettish smiles, unnoticed pregnancies and babies' heads popping out to say bonjour
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
French Meatball saves 11 from house fire
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Evening Standard)
 
 
 
Captain of Concordia cruise ship returns to work for first time since running the liner onto a reef, asked to please take the bus rather than driving a car around the company parking lot
source: standard.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Thousands fleeing Boko Haram for Niger; Blind Faith
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Joey, you like schools about gladiators?
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Woman is shocked, SHOCKED that her sister who was a Hooters waitress, appeared in a adult video, has been on a talk show about questionable parenting and has numerous mug shots from previous arrests could commit murder
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
More than a dozen workers were exposed to leaking radiation at the nation's underground nuclear waste dump in New Mexico. Officials state that the danger is over although they still don't know what caused it. NO FURTHER QUESTIONS
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Christian school coach arrested on sex trafficking charges after police discovered his female sex database, which was all conveniently located on index cards
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
World's most difficult job interview: you're up against 61,000 other people
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Chicagoans prepare for another miserable 12-16 inches coming this weekend. But enough about their pizza
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop what this dog is barking at
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Aviationist)
 
 
 
British stealth fighter caught on video six feet off the ground, inverted
source: theaviationist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Body of man found in ocean last year finally identified. His name is Bob
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Russian flag raised in Crimea. This is not a repeat from 1853
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
We can now add "routine wisdom teeth extraction" to the list of things that can kill a perfectly healthy 18-year-old
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Twenty-one year old man arrested for making meth. And yes, he was even wearing a Los Pollos Hermanos t-shirt
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
It's never a good idea to masturbate in school. Especially when you're a 72-year-old substitute teacher
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WikiHow)
 
 
 
Cohabitation with your SO: are these good suggestions or just pure stupid?
source: wikihow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
Giant-ass statue of Marilyn Monroe from "The Seven-Year Itch" to leave Palm Springs, class up New Jersey. Perhaps they could replace it with a Giant Tom Ewell
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I took the Dalai Lama on a ski trip, and he told the secret of the meaning of life...to a waitress"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girl, 11, shoots a cougar that was stalking her 14-year old brother, now the brother is pissed because he was ready to lose his virginity
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to jump in one of those red London phone booths and take a trip back in time? There's an app for that
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Hideous 21-year-old, heavily pierced, leather-wearing punk rocker chick gets a makeover, is magically transformed into a 21-year-old blonde hottie, rejects wonderful new look because she "looks like her mum" (w/amazing before and after pics)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old girl is 'crazy' about snakes, has been bitten a few times, says it didn't hurt, plans to open her own reptile zoo when she's older because she wants to change perceptions about snakes. What could possibly go wrong? (w/pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Putin decides he's going to try and get Scandinavia, Northern Europe, Southern Europe, and the Middle East in the next few turns, but there's that one pesky territory he needs first
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Throwing lit fireworks from a moving car won't usually result in an assault charge, unless your car is gas soaked and contains your two children
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
35-year-old teacher avoids being sent to jail for sleeping with 16-year-old student because they both took that phrase literally
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boston Marathon bans pretty much everything. Terrorists win
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The history of the most bizarre sex tip Cosmopolitan ever printed: the infamous "Penis on the Doughnut" moment
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
You feel a former employee has betrayed you. Do you: C) try to hire a hitman to break both of his legs and cut off his penis?
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 460: "Animal Kingdom". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 26, 2014
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Delta Airlines versus the mommybloggers. One guess who won
source: bbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Somebody notices swastikas that had been carved into a building's stonework sometime before 1939 and, of course, is outraged
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Bud Light continues to show they've given up on beer, launches two new canned margarita flavors: Raz-Ber-Rita and Mang-O-Rita
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Who do you call for bail money when you pull your mom's gun on your sister's boyfriend?
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVEC)
 
 
 
Not news: Homeowner takes tenant to court to get her evicted. News: Homeowner is actually former gold medal winning boxer who squandered away millions. Fark: Tenant is his own mother
source: wvec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Luis Obispo Tribune)
 
 
 
Another isolated incident: one third of town's police department arrested in car impound scheme
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Enjoy Bill Watterson's first new cartoon since Calvin & Hobbes ended (which, incidentally, could be an old naked Calvin)
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop these blank faces
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Kia Sorento comes installed with new ejector sunroof
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Maybe you shouldn't be bragging about the food you just got from a food bank...while sitting in your limo
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVEC)
 
 
 
If National Lampoon's "Vacation" taught us anything, it's that you strap mom to the hood of the car....don't stuff her in the trunk
source: wvec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Just waiting in line for some food. Glad we got here early
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Today's media scare story: People right next to you at this very moment could be using a vaporizer to get high on marijuana and you wouldn't even notice it. "Some people use them on their break at work"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Replace Waldo
source: files-cdn.formspring.me   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The burden of boobs: "I thought that with cleavage came power. But as my cleavage amassed, I found the opposite to be true. My ample cups seemed to hint at certain unpleasant possibilities. Like, maybe I was dumb. Maybe I was slutty"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
Trying to reduce traffic congestion? Let's just ban the poor from owning cars
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Teen spends month in jail because someone with the same name was accused of rape. See, these are problems Moon Unit Zappa never has
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Have you ever wondered what it was like to actually make and eat Betty Crocker Jell-o laden recipes from the 1950s? Well, wonder no more
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Gold-coin find now called the biggest booty ever found in the United States. Kim Kardashian inconsolable
source: blogs.marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Rocket cat, that is all
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Georgia legislature contemplates bill that would make it a misdemeanor for slow drivers on the highway not to move to the right when a faster car approaches from behind
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
FBI: so did we ever mention we had a mole meet with Bin Laden in 1993?
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, it's a lion. Get out of the car
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Hiding a comic book inside a textbook while in class. New and busted: Hiding a magazine that features scantily-clad models inside an official folder while in a parliamentary session
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
When choosing between a college football career and impregnating your 14-year-old cousin, incest wins every time in Florida
source: thesent.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Thousands of gallons of leaked waste and 70 miles of contaminated river later, North Carolina decides that maybe, just maybe, it's a bad idea to have a waste pond storing toxic chemicals right next to a major waterway
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Police in England are searching for an Irish teenager who slapped a fish shop worker across the face with a large bream. The incident may have been filmed
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Animal behaviorists have confirmed what many owners of furniture, clothes, carpet, and shoes have suspected for years: Dogs feel no shame
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
City councilor says it was immoral and possibly illegal for pot dispensary to take advantage of his failure to pay attention to documents he signs
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
So a Glasshole walks into a bar
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Another victory for antidentites
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Reservation tip: When booking a room at the Hilton in Basingstoke, UK, don't mention that the pet you're bringing is the trouser snake in your pants
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Today's media fear-mongering story: glass in your home could be dangerous
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Russia massing troops on Western border for "readiness" exercise. Suuuuuure it is, Putin. Sure it is
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Ah, Aged to perfection
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Teacher comes up with stunning idea: instead of just labeling kids dyslexic and putting them in the slow-learners class, why not just teach them to read?
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
Police say it's legal to give a girl your number
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Airline etiquette tip: No matter how many times you punch the flight attendant, you won't be getting more booze
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Your dog wants steak...and Doritos...and Chips Ahoy...and Slim Jims...and Jello
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Student suspended after admitting to accidentally packing a beer for lunch, looks forward to long career as a fark moderator
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned...it's been a week since my last confession...I was checking out your wife during Mass again"
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Would you buy a $5,000 house? Granted, it's only 99 square feet, and you'd have to live in Madison, Wisconsin, but you really can't beat the price
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
SPLITTERS
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London 24)
 
 
 
British ceremonially close police station with parade of vintage cop cars, including the bizarre 1970 Morris Minor Panda Car that had suspects begging to be shot rather than be forced into what Morris engineers amusingly called 'the back seat'
source: london24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Stoned Guy)
 
 
 
Get your sex and marijuana fix all at once, thanks to the new weed-flavored condoms: "Green in colour, and smells and tastes like the real thing"
source: cannadom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
New York City tells gun buyers to wait eight months to get a permit, which doesn't include the month needed to get across town in traffic to turn in the application
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
A Maine woman's day started by waiting in line for her credit union to open so she could get money for diapers. It soon went to shiat
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
"Hey, I'm BIRTHIN' here"
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
China bans cookouts because of thick smog. Officials take action after barbecue restaurants start advertising steaks with a choice of leaded, unleaded or diesel
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TechEBlog)
 
 
 
Swiss watch found in ancient Chinese tomb. Could have just dropped off the wrist of an absent-minded archeologist, but more likely to be proof that time travel exists. With pics of watch so you can be the judge
source: techeblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
News: Armed police and trained negotiators in four-hour standoff. Fark: House they were surrounding was empty, man was out buying groceries
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Cool: Landlady only rents her apartment to people who own pets. Sappy: After a tenant's pet dies, the landlady personally takes him or her to the local pet shelter to get a replacement. Weird: If they're not ready for a replacement they get evicted
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
"The theft of the dead feline [from a freezer] became even stranger when it appeared that a frying pan was also stolen from the shed. However, various snacks in the freezer remained unwanted and untouched by the cat burglar"
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Someone is chopping down perfectly healthy cherry trees. This is not a repeat from 1738
source: edinburghnews.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
New study shows that late-night use of your smartphone saps your work productivity the next day. Which makes absolutely no sense, as subby uses his every night and *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Man dies after being hit by vehicle in Onancock. That's gotta hurt
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
DCF approved the rapist
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
You know what they say: MO money, MO executions
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
You want to drink a lot, you're going to have to accept that you'll occasionally wake up in an alley with a hobo making out with you. Like this guy did
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
The Hippy Ripper case has been solved. When a police spokesman was asked how a 14 year old boy could have committed murders that took place in 1969, he responded "He's very clever"
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you run down to the store for some lightbulbs only to have your car towed and crushed? Yeah, so does this guy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
High speed multi car chase to apprehend dangerous driver results in no charges when police realize the driver is Japanese, better driver than Danica Patrick
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Miles O'Brien recounts amputation, Setlik III massacre
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this forlorn teddy bear
source: pageresource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Driver charged with one count of speeding and two counts of cigaretting
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Navy parachute trainees get extra credit in 'dangling from trees waiting to be rescued'
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Driver recording video of accident scene becomes part of accident scene
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Knife beats paper
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Looking for a new pet that will possibly outlive you, doesn't shed, and is a great burglar deterrent and/or disposal unit?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
First course: Finger sandwiches
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Introducing the new Blackphone, an ultra-secure, super-private, highly encrypted device that will protect your every communication from every possible eavesdropper except, of course, the NSA
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Air pollution in Beijing is so bad that scientists can only compare it to a nuclear winter
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Let's all pause a moment and celebrate the 50th anniversary of one of the crowing culinary achievements of the 20th Century: the Pop-Tart
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Drama teacher practices for role in the Graduate
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Can giant walls protect the USA from tornadoes? I'm no physicist, but I'm thinking HELL NO
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If you live in Alaska, the good news is the recent federal budget cuts are working. However, the vital seismic monitors at the bases of the state's active volcanoes are not
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Bad: Season-ending knee injury. Worse: Right before the big game against your top rival high school. Awesome: Opposing team's coach tells his players to stand down so you can score one final basket for the season
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
American science fiction has inspired generations of people to embrace mind expanding concepts. Korean science fiction has inspired China to embrace fried chicken and beer
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Daily Mail discovers adorable cats and cute kids can be used in TV commercials to advertise products and services. Ric Romero beams with pride
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
OK, it's a slide show. But a slide show of HUGE MARBLE SLABS? It's like uncarving the art that is the earth
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey Herald)
 
 
 
Police officer treated for smoke inhalation after saving every single animal from a burning pet store, still can't find his bicycle
source: njherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
The Chicago Police Department is trying to make Minority Report a reality, with emphasis on the minority part
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Why did the chicken cross the road? We may never know, but it might have something to do with the disordered hyperuniformity in its eyes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KERO 23 Bakersfield)
 
 
 
♫ They give me rat scratch fever... RAT SCRATCH FEVER ♫
source: turnto23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Everything is bigger in Texas, especially when your ticket for rolling a stop sign gets upgraded to a DWI for blowing 0.00
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue February 25, 2014
(Mustang News)
 
 
 
University demands guest list of off campus parties, while banning hard alcohol and drinking games there, also plans to force students to live on campus for first two years. Back tracks after hearing about things called 1st and 4th Amendments
source: mustangnews.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter