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Sun February 16, 2014
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
The best picture to come out of Sochi this year: Grandma's accidental selfie
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
And the latest, soon-to-be-disproven theory on the Shroud of Turin's manufacture is that an earthquake 2,000 years ago exposed a dead body wrapped in a shroud to a vein of uranium ore, and made an ancient x-ray
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
"Look, we'd love to give you this experimental drug for your dying son because it'll probably help cure him, but we can't because his profile doesn't fit the one we made up for test cases"
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Dunce bitten, Christ lies
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this close encounter
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
Moms always like to make sure you have everything you need before leaving to go to school: Lunch, homework, and a gat
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Missoula County Attorney throws book at teen who raped 5 year old. Actually said "Boys will be boys"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Former JP Morgan manager says the business world could learn a lot from Pope Francis. Not all that being nice to poor people and economic justice crap, just about his management STYLE
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Latest dustup in Malibu has everything -- NIMBYs, Tippi Hedren and white Siberian tigers
source: la.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
I'm JUST going out on a limb here; but, maybe you should, you know, leave the storm chasing to professionals
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Everything we know about Kitty Genovese is wrong
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Just how bad are South African jails? Rescued miners refuse to come out because they MIGHT be arrested
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KKTV Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Substitute teacher throws book at student, judge throws book at him. If we could just get people in schools to read books instead of throw them
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Turns out that "Tommy's Mom" was actually "Two radio morning show hosts pulling a publicity stunt"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman lies about skipping work to stay out of trouble. By telling police she was raped
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this odd couple
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Don't Hold Your Breath News: 14 Caribbean states are demanding that Britain, France and Holland pay slavery reparations
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
I SAID, YOU HAVE CANC-- oh, fark it, transfer him to some other hospital
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Think the weather sucked where you are this week? At least you weren't onboard the Bataan Amphibious Ready Group getting resupplied in the middle of a gale in the Atlantic (slideshow)
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Bird whacking wind turbines. New hotness: Bird scorching solar farms
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Professor defends having blow up dolls in his office by claiming they are there for the students. "It kind of eases them and we start a conversation"
source: saskatoon.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(York Dispatch)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If you are going to give a false name to police, try using something more convincing other than Captain Crunch
source: yorkdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
If you really want to get off the grid you need a DIY bug farm
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Not too bad: Ants. Bad: Crazy ants. Worst: Crazy ants covered in acid
source: newswatch.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The long winter can be blamed on one thing: a changing jet stream
source: nation.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
If they pull a rock, you pull a gun. It's the Nogales way
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Can you make a great Bloody Mary? Well, come to NYC and prove it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Angry residents wave pitchforks, torches In protest of Mayor's crackdown on homelessness. Protesters seen heating tar and ripping up pillows unsubstantiated
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Let's have a dog thread. Post your pics / stories. Double internet points today only
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Dirt)
 
 
 
Ministry of Truth will soon make the internet doubleplusgood for UK citizens
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Moqtada Sadr: Cleric, revolutionary, murderer, exile, rebel, politician, conciliator, retiree
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Design Taxi)
 
 
 
You can't really call yourself a hipster until you get a wooden case that turns your iPad Mini into a 1905s television set
source: designtaxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAKE Wichita)
 
 
 
CCW holder accidentally shoots himself, drinking buddy at the Shot Time 2 Bar
source: kake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Comosexuals
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The F-35, a testament to military procurement: overbudget, behind schedule, unable to fly full throttle, within 25 miles of lightning, or with weapons. Now with sensor helmet allowing pilot to look between his legs and see the ass he can kiss goodbye
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Times)
 
 
 
FDA to tikka closer look at Indian prescription drug imports
source: techtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Unemployed? Female? Aged 18-25? Don't worry, the UK government can get you back on your feet. Or on your back
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you live in Greenland all you really need to be content is a wooden micro-shelter designed to be pulled by a dog
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this primate poking
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man calls 911 because his wife can't. A) Breathe. B) Walk. C) Get her jacket off
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Thousands of Asian men wearing only loincloths battle to grab a divine stick. Some headlines just write themselves
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
From the "life imitates art" category: a gorgeous house in Brooklyn hosts monthly orgies for 150 invited guests. Fidelio
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Between 1882 and 1930, there were 214 victims of lynchings in Tennessee. Two-hundred fifteen if you include the elephant (warning: photo)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 15, 2014
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Angry man goes medieval, deliberately shoots himself in the head with a crossbow
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
At least he managed to hold on :-/
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
Woman stabbed by stalker ex-boyfriend despite consulting police five times. Apparently their "solution" had been to order him to write statement promising that he would leave her alone forever
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Woman attacks fiance with a Dale Jr. beer bottle in attempt to get him arrested, but is tripped up by some vegetables
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
New Zealand's Prime Minister publicly denies being a lizard person. Which is just what a lizard person would say
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
This week's smoking hot Catholic school teacher - under age student tryst brought to you by the fine folks up in Calgary, Alberta. Wait, she actually is smoking hot? Dammit - need to find a different headline meme. Uh, fb- may be the father
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this person probing a problem
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Caption what Ashley Wagner is really thinking
source: static2.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kickstarter)
 
 
 
Kickstarter launched to assist hackers get your personal information. Oh, you don't support that? Um, too late
source: kickstarter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
If your erection lasts more than 20 hours, consult an engineer
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Did you hear that? It was the obvious tag exploding
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Michael, Done
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blue Ridge Now)
 
 
 
Really now? Who pulls a drive-by on a fire station?
source: blueridgenow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Headline: Pot fuels surge in drugged driving deaths. Article: Traffic fatalities have decreased in states where medical cannabis is legal
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Police and psychiatrists trying to find the source of what is causing so many violent, naked rampages
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
George Zimmerman no longer has a home to overzealously defend
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Cleveland)
 
 
 
Arrests made in case of a disabled veteran severely beaten by a racist right wing myth
source: cleveland.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The peasants are revolting. Ay Caracas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this busted door
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Where else would you connect to your long lost siblings than at Wal-Mart?
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Obvious: farm chemicals poisoning local environment. FARK: marijuana farms
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Kansas man has a new heart thanks to ObamaCare. Brain and courage transplants still not covered
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Finally something good has come from the NekNominate craze
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This sucker just does not want his picture taken
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Al Jaffee reveals the fold-in 'MAD' wouldn't run. Sorry, no "God Who Walks The Earth" tag available
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It's tough when your friend dates a dud. App lets you wager on their relationship anonymously...like what any close, caring friend would do when they don't have the balls to speak up
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Near-Earth asteroid 2000 EM26, the size of three football fields, will fly by Earth on Monday. And you can watch it via webcast
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Punk is not dead. It just has a heart attack and cancels tour
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Smithers, release the moose
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin dropped in on U.S. Olympic headquarters to chat about the Winter Games, discuss the upcoming Russia-U.S. hockey showdow, and ask if anybody wanted to challenge him in a shirtless arm wrestling contest
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New proposal would put breathalyzer-type device in all Utah bars, add to the fun of the night by letting you watch your BAC go up drink after drink
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Britain's biggest dog drinks from the kitchen sink while standing on all fours, eats four roasted chickens a week and has destroyed 14 sofas--and he's only 18 months old
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It turns out Fox News has a Constitutional right to air suicides on live television
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Shooting a drive-thru worker is never okay, even if you're using a NERF gun
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Body found on conveyor belt at recycling center. GO GREEN
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parents raise their son to be "gender-neutral" so he won't grow up to be aggressive. The bullies who will beat him up after he starts school will surely appreciate their target's lack of aggression
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Utah court defends a man's right to show his Elmo diaper to little girls
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Youth pastor/children's museum employee accused of having sex with a 15-year-old girl. And she's a woman. And there's a picture
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Denver Fark Party
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're an elderly man who falls in your storage unit and require assistance, perhaps it's best to crawl away from the stacks of child pornography you have siting around before calling the Police to help you
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If there's one good thing that can be said about being Britain's smallest teenager it's that no one else will be wearing the same dress as you at the school prom
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man spends four hours in the snow writing a giant valentine to his fiancee. No word on how many gallons of beer that required
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop who (or what) should be at this beach
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Dear old people: stop using young people's slang. Whatevs, stop hatin', yo
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Inmate climbs 12 feet of fence, crawls through razor wire, scales another wire-topped fence, and then runs for ten miles to the Gallopin' Goose Saloon & Grill just so he can meet his girlfriend for Valentine's Day dinner. Awwww, what a sweetie
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tough bulldog protects his adopted kitten siblings. "And I'll hug her, and kiss her and call her Georgie" Thereby making everyone happy on Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
One in four Americans think the sun goes around the Earth. No word how many think the Earth is actually flat and located atop four elephants which themselves are balanced upon a giant turtle
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
At Christian theme park visitors can take part in the Last Supper, pose next to a plastic, bloodied and battered Jesus, and watch the resurrection happen every 10 minutes to the hour. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
The story of the Nebraska man who created one of the most delicious, versatile condiments known to mankind, ranch dressing
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Mysterious energy ribbon found at the edge of the solar system. Captains Kirk, Picard unavailable for comment
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania motorists prove to the world they are no better at driving in snow and ice than Atlantans
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri February 14, 2014
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Anybody else feel the 4.4 temblor? Wish I could say it was me, but the earth moved for everybody else in the deep south
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Broken heart is a real condition, says medical reporter Dr. Joette Giovinco while crying and eating ice cream
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Up North Live)
 
 
 
Drunk-calling 911 and saying "come find me" may result in just that
source: upnorthlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Short Story: Man hospitalized for "Feeling Under the Weather". Long Story: Man hospitalized after being hit in the head by NHS sign that said "Feeling Under the Weather"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman buys 86 cent burrito at gas station, finds it fits like a glove
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop Les Favorites
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Olympics)
 
 
 
Men's figure skating, women's skeleton, men's Alpine skiing. Will there be TF sponsorships and BIE galore again tonight? Find out: It's the Friday Night East Coast Spoiler Free Winter Olympics Prime Time Highlight Show Discussion Thread
source: nbcolympics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Police investigating burglary: "Huh, I wonder where those footprints in the snow go"
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Banana)
 
 
 
Valentine's Candy Hearts for the Friend Zoned
source: atlbanana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Texas to potentially release 'illegitimately imprisoned' man from his three decades in prison. The reason for the delay? He didn't ask to be let out after his murder conviction was tossed decades ago
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
And the winner of this year's "Most Expensive Place in the US to Rent an Apartment" award goes to: Not so fast, New York and San Francisco... Williston, North Dakota, step up and claim your prize
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
God, what an asshole
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Talking to kids with tough words can help them talk good, too
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The Obama administration has run out of countries to use for Ambassadorship Prizes to give its highest donors, so it's having the State Department create a new "Arctic Ambassador" post
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Things)
 
 
 
Yolo, yolare, yolavi, yolatus
source: firstthings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
If you've never considered McDonald's as a Valentine's Day destination because of the crowds, your lucky day has come. Because Florida
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some astronomologer)
 
 
 
Young Americans may not be as dumb as previously supposed
source: neoacademic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Great. Not only can you not spank your kids anymore, but it's also apparently illegal to burp them too
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Solar power is becoming more affordable for everyone. Well, it was starting to anyway
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme - Trip the light fantastic
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Dubai wants to be known for being fashion sheikh
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Clear your desks everybody, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. That's right, not only do you have to deal with Valentine's Day loneliness and heartbreak, now there's a damn test, too
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
". . . and finally, one of the most important parts of any wedding is the wholesale mass slaughter of the guests"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Math majors and a 900-lb snowball are never a good combination on a college campus. "Maintenance workers had to spend 45 minutes cutting through the snowball"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HyperVocal)
 
 
 
Maybe "viral" wasn't the best choice, but Little Miss Valentine's story is choppin' onions here
source: hypervocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Remember that flushable cat litter from the dollar store? Yeah, about that
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Tesla stock continues to be on fire
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Norway mass-murderer Anders Breivik threatens hunger strike for better video games, says he can't stay at the top of his game without the latest first person shooters
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Heroic woman attempts to save brother from brink of disaster, put in jail for 8 weeks for her trouble
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Heartlifting story about a family home lost and the house flipper that didn't make any money selling it back to the family after fixing it up
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The Pope doesn't want anyone having sex this Valentine's Day
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Military nears holy grail: Pizza that lasts years
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Good news: Science may soon be able to tell if you have Maple Syrup Urine Disease by smelling your earwax. At least, that's what I got out of this
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Apparently, there are some things biology teachers are not supposed to demonstrate with their students
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
FIRST LOOK INSIDE SRIRACHA FACTORY: Sadly, no Oompa Loompas
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Let us celebrate Valentine's Day with A love story featuring spare ribs, cops, criminals, judges, hookers, Prince, Jesse "The Body" Ventura and of course Neil Diamond
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
NSA claims Snowden had help in stealing secrets from the NSA. Help from someone other than the NSA, that is
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
Chamber of Commerce CEO Tom Donohue: 'We need low-skill immigrants because Americans have no pride and are lazy.'
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Forever alone Chinese singles buy every other movie ticket so couples can't sit together on Valentine's Day
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Mexico City looking to decriminalization weed although the downside is the weed is, well... Mexican weed
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Remember: pair white wine with fish, rosemary with olive oil, and on Valentine's Day, the grape flavored condom goes best with shame and regret
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
The Duggars' 7 tips to a sexy marriage: The clown car is always open for business, unless Aunt Flo is visiting, or just dropped off another fare. "When you've missed it for seven days, you look forward to it even more," Michelle says
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Underperforming US Olympic speedskaters blame Under Armour, consider suit
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Academic experts reveal what women want out of their underwear. In related news, men want women out of their underwear, too
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Esquire)
 
 
 
And the worst Valentine's Day gift of all time is:
source: esquire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"For us, we will always regret that we buried our mother while she was still alive"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
"When we heard $1 million a bed," Sen. Claire Ayer said of the $25 million price tag for the hospital, "we sort of assumed it would include beds"
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fork)
 
 
 
Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red
source: fork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Descrier)
 
 
 
Driving instructor banned after 120 mph police chase--to the restroom
source: descrier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Piers Morgan has been questioned by British police over alleged phone hacking. Reports suggest his voicemail is full of messages saying, "you're a wanker", "you're a wanker", "you're a wanker"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mirror, smart phone and stick. *makes notes*
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Too-short times on red light cameras. New hotness: 'Overly sensitive toll sensors' run by private company in charge of running tunnel
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Teenager charged for "endangering lives" after he made a aerial film of his city using a go-pro camera attached to a drone
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Although going through your boyfriend's phone to find dirt on him is bad, it's even worse to find out he's having sex with your dog
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Bengal tiger arrested for mail bomb murder
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Class warfare hits a new level
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Top 10 sexiest works of art EVER. Sure, if you're into getting oral from an octopus while a kid with wings looks on as the Gimp waits by a ladder in the basement. And who isn't? (not safe for work, ready for critics)
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Bus-hunting season kicks off early on South Central LA freeway
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
I-Mockery's annual Valentine's Day card collection. The perfect gift for that special someone you love to hate
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
For today's edition of 'faces of meth' mugshots, we have some fresh ones...kinda
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
'Vampire facelifts' are a thing apparently. Well, kinda
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(truTV)
 
 
 
When you neglect to read the label on that deodorant-sized can of pepper spray, everyone gets burned
source: blog.trutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flareup
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Headless body found just above Miller brewery. No word if it was a little foam
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You know how proud you feel when you successfully make Mickey Mouse-eared pancakes for your kids? This guy put all parents to shame
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
A woman in Haiku City, China, was grabbed by her boyfriend and stuffed down a manhole for nearly three days. Well well well
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mancunian Matters)
 
 
 
Student gets held up by gunman. Successfully pulls the ole "Hey, look over there" *punch* trick. w/vid
source: mancunianmatters.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Don't lie. If you had a spare $70m lying around, you'd spend it on Bacon too
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
How area codes became a point of cultural pride and geographical importance
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Hacker gives parents a reason to visit a school district website
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Fine, you wanted a wheelchair ramp, here's your wheelchair ramp. Are you happy now?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
It's always funnier in the movies when fireworks explode in the trunk of your car
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're a pediatrician it's never a good career move to get convicted for waterboarding a child
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Portlandia, meet Californication
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ /// | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
World's largest solar plant opens in the Mojave Desert. The sun is there
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone, a different zoo in Denmark is now saying that they too have a baby giraffe that needs whackin'
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
California's next move in the War On Food™: Warning labels on sugary drinks. "We're talking about a public health epidemic"
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 San Diego)
 
 
 
If you scream at a Girl Scout selling cookies she "looks like a farkin' hooker"...you might have some curious peccadilloes
source: fox5sandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
76-year old guy teaches whippersnapper lifelong lesson about bringin' a taser to a gunfight: "I shot about three times before I hit him because he had me on the ground trying to tase me. And I finally got one in him"
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Money problems are killing your sex drive
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hey kids - enjoying all the snow days this year? Well, build a snowman while you can because technology's about to ruin your day
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Someone, somewhere decided dogs' faces aren't expressive enough - and could be improved with the use of fake eyelashes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
I don't always eat hamburgers, but when I do, it's Ernest Hemingway's secret recipe hamburger
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadians head to U.S. for cheap healthcare
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Goodnight, Pa
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists claim to have discovered a "gay gene" that might prove homosexuality is decided by biology, not choice. Still can't explain how that gene gets passed down
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Cyclist hit by car. Local legislator responds by telling the victim's son that: A) he will work to get more bike lanes built, B) bhere should be stiffer penalties for reckless drivers, or C) no one should ride a bike in this county ever
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu February 13, 2014
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Female driver's car is rammed repeatedly during road rage incident, as 911 records her Saab story
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Omaha cop deluged with Valentines after never having received a single one in school
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nineteen-year-old virginal gay art student announces he will have sex in front of live audience at London gallery in 2015, followed by vigorous Q&A session, to complete his project "Art School Stole My Virginity"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Apparently, road crews are too busy throwing rocks at each other, covering each other with grease, and karate chopping each other in the nuts to actually work on the roads
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this newly-hatched lady
source: l2.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Get your kleenex ready: Introducing a program wherein little kids read books to shelter cats
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Lazy 44-year old Gen X-er refused to leave his mom's... uterus?
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Looks like California is going to get a lot more polite. Or something
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Can (crack) (snap) we (hiss) save (crack) AM radio? (hiss)
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Radio Shack robbed by a young gent who is C: A current employee who wore a ski mask, pepper sprayed a co-worker, tasered himself, ran off and then returned at 4:00 to work his scheduled shift
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
A man enticed a 15-year-old girl to a hotel room through the Internet. I didn't know broadband worked that way
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
In honor of Valentine's Day, divorce attorney has a contest for couple with the best reason why they should be divorced, and the winner gets a free divorce. Awwwww
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Making a special dinner or dessert for Valentine's Day? What do you think will have a big impact? Share some last minute tips to help make for an awesome time.. And maybe even save someone from being ForeverAlone™
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Valentine's Day has become totally socialist" --some mom whose kindergartner will need therapy by age 8
source: mommyish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beach beauty
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Earth Techling)
 
 
 
In case you didn't notice, the Department of Energy announced that the cost of power from solar panels is now cheaper than grid electricity
source: earthtechling.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Cops in Kansas are now profiling people from Colorado in hopes of getting more marijuana busts
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Why child leashes should be mandatory
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Great Lakes ice coverage set to break the all-time record next week, exactly as predicted by global climate models
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
News: Discovery Channel To Mythbuster Fans: 'Abstain'... as channel yanks controversial sex episode. Fark: "Heh. Heh. He said "yank"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pew Research)
 
 
 
Rarely is the question asked: Is our husbands learning?
source: pewresearch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If there's one good thing about the lack of snow and warm temperatures in Sochi, it's that the athletes are showing off a lot more skin
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Snow is bad, traffic is bad, cars exploding in snow traffic is just insane
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
So apparently, Lobster used to be the "cockroach of the sea"
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Look, if you are going to break into a church, don't take a selfie. At the VERY least don't leave your phone at the scene of the crime. No? Well, okay then
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
If you think it is cold where you are, you haven't spent a winter here. Warning: Slideshow
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Woman visits her old high school, reunites with former classmate with some great tackling form
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Relentless jail-cell farting leads to assault, racial slur"
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
World's largest solar plant began creating electricity today. If we could harness the nuclear-grade butthurt blowout created by this development with state-of-the-art asshat beanie-propellers, the nation's entire energy needs could be met
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMTV Omaha)
 
 
 
Doctor on murder defendant: "He's insane and a psychopath." I dunno... does that look like the face of a psychopath?
source: jrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Having trouble getting your headlines greenlit? Maybe you just need Hemingway as an editor
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Comatose patient refuses to complete the paperwork to renew his visa
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
If you've ever wanted to buy a used microwave, this is the auction for you. Particularly if you prefer microwaves stolen from Bill O'Reilly's green-room by Stephen Colbert
source: ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Don't hit the police cruiser, don't hit the police cruiser, don't hit ... ah, damn it
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Ann Coulter decides she can't live in America anymore. Also, she hates soccer
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Gravest threats to the polar bear's survival include global warming, poachers, dwindling food sources, discarded coat and purse combos
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Swedish gym chain bans selfies in the locker room to protect privacy of naked Swedes in the background
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Woman says that her son, who she swears is a good kid, would have never broken a classmate's collarbones and been charged with a hate crime if there were just a few more hall monitors
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
It's like Where's Waldo, if Waldo was wearing a ghillie suit and carrying an HK417 sniper rifle
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police begin crackdown on "SNOWCOCKALYPSE" One man whose car was vandalized described the images as "big ole dicks on my car, yo" Tag is for not knowing what that word means
source: atlbanana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Good news: science is now one step closer to understanding why so many bee colonies are dying. Bad news: it's this Polish woman
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Obamacare enrollment hits 3.3 million, but only 3.3 people have actually paid
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
346,000 more South Carolinians than usual are without electricity after yesterday's winter blast
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Actual, UltraFark-ready headline: "Breaking: Watch Live Video of Snow Pummeling New York City"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The first day of tiger school went gr-r-reat
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ah, the sights and sounds of living in your nation's capital: the glamour, bustle, having it declared barely suitable for life
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Keloland)
 
 
 
OK, here's the concept: It's Admiral Ackbar, only he's a sex predator who's paid his debt to society, and he's coming to South Dakota
source: keloland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
If you: a) drive a GM compact car and b) have a lot of keys on your keyring, then don't be surprised if the engine SUDDENLY SHUTS OFF while driving
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Not news: Cop cites someone with $2500 ticket for public urination. News: Cop fired for making the citation. Fark: The offender is three years old, and was at his own backyard in the middle of nowhere
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Reason number 5 to fire someone: they're lactating
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
No, you smarmy hipster doofus, your rooftop garden does not make you a "farmer"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Your friends, the Columbia Gulf Transmission would like to remind Kentuckians that natural gas pipelines safe, and clean, and HOLY FARK, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Man attempts to steal family's boiler pipes at 2:00 AM. Fails to consider that people wake up to loud banging noises, even at 2:00 AM
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
A man, and a burglary plan. Up to the roof, down through the ventilation system. Smash and grab, and exit? Oh...the doors won't open. And the glass is bulletproof. What does one do? Have a smoke and wait to be arrested
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Turns out the Safe and Sound Senior Citizen Social Club not all it's cracked up to be
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Concord Monitor)
 
 
 
24-Year-old guy who works at the mall buys alcohol and goes drinking with 13- and 14-year old girls...and looks exactly the way you pictured he would
source: concordmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brentwood Gazette)
 
 
 
Passengers were wondering why the staff at their English railway station were walking around with smiles on their faces. They didn't have to wonder for long
source: brentwoodgazette.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman gets boyfriend's name tattooed on arm. News: She removes it, gets media attention. Fark: Self-removed with scalpel. TotalFark: She mails it to her now-ex. Fark Bonus: She now has a patch of bacon on her arm
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ten-year-old who gets pulled over after stealing his parents car and driving 68 mile to visit his grandparents: Honest officer, I'm just a dwarf who forgot his driver's license. And no that's not my 18-month-old sister, she's my wife
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salem News 2)
 
 
 
Woman catches "baby faced" man with a brown jacket peeping into her window as he fondled himself gently. He was smart enough to discard the jacket nearby when running away, but not smart enough to remove his cell phone and keys
source: salemnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Sleepwalking Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dude talking a walk in the snow
source: thatslife.gr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
While in the supermarket, stuffing lobsters and a ribeye down your pants won't necessarily get you in the news, but adding a car hijacking with an old man and teen inside, just might
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What's your baby really thinking? Odds are the same thing you are: "I want boobs, I pooped myself, OOH, SHINY"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
♫ Not a small girl after all, not a small girl after all, not a small girl after all, not a smaaaalll, small girl ♪
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas Observer)
 
 
 
One Facebook joke about shooting up a school landed this teen in jail facing 10 years in prison
source: dallasobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Someday you'll look back nostalgically on when you were in college and lived in a grain silo
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
How do you get your dog to go WOOF? Douse her with tick spray and then have her walk by an open flame
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"It was a typical weekday night at the All Around Bar - except for the casket on the dance floor"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The new hot food trend in China --- Chinese food
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Bomb threat forces Walmart evacuation, which was described as the slowest evacuation ever seen
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chikasha News)
 
 
 
I'll have a taco and two burritos. Oh, and I'll take my bottle of booze you're holding for me in your fridge
source: chickashanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Apparently, it needs to be said: This is your tongue. This is your tongue on a flagpole. Any questions?
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania man charged in Amish buggy-by shooting (with mugshot goodness)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Kroger sued for mislabeling chicken; apparently, they referred to it as "chicken" and not "mystery meat"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'I am running away because you think I farted when I didn't'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Ten things most Farkers don't know about love and sex
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Connecticut has created tens of thousands of newly minted criminals, because some residents are refusing to register guns under a new law enacted after the Sandy Hook School shooting
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"I stopped counting after I killed my 800th person; it just seemed tedious and lost its charm. The counting, not the killing," admits Mexican hit man during trial of his former employer, a drug czar
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Sexual predator Juan Carlos Chavez will never rape, murder any children again
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China likes big Buddhas and they cannot lie
source: globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"My husband went in for cancer surgery and came out a virgin"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
News: Duck Dynasty Star and CEO Willie Robertson goes to dinner with Sean Hannity, Newt Gingrich and other big-name conservatives. FARK: And drops a $5000 tip. ULTRAFARK: On a $5000 tab
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hot blonde mum sends 9-year-old daughter to £3,000-a-term junior school so she can eventually get into Oxford, find a rich man to marry, never have to work again (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're going to let a reporter use your cell phone live on air as part of a demonstration, make sure you delete your browser history, otherwise the whole world will know your porn preferences, which is what happened to this woman
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 458: "More Silent Decay". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed February 12, 2014
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Senior Class President with 4.4 GPA finds football player sexually harassing his kid sister. Said player takes a swing at president & his dad in front of witnesses at a game. School suspends president & threatens him with expulsion from the district
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
The tag is for the man that fark almost forgot to honor
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Thanks for going to Iraq, Afghanistan 10 times or more. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Narrowly survive a terrorist bombing and need to tell your loved ones that you're still alive? There's an app for that
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
On a prison work crew and get hit by a semi truck and trailer? Yep, that's a get out of jail free card
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
O.J. Simpson goes on hunger strike in order to kill himself. Authorities expect it to be a slow drawn out drama
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CEO of luxury company tells Americans to quit biatching about being poor because they're probably wealthy compared to people in India
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Someone in Mexico named their kid "Facebook". I guess it's better than naming your daughter "MySpace"
source: yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Government calendar celebrating diversity filled with diverse photos of caucasians
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fish looking at a snack
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Today's "riders get stuck in the rain at the top of a roller coaster" story brought to you by the Cheetah Hunt at Busch Gardens
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Official Guy)
 
 
 
The New Zealand Government cannot confirm that their Prime Minister isn't a shapeshifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement. Link goes to official document
source: fyi.org.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Raleigh-Durham, jealous of all the winter press Atlanta has gotten, turns interstate into parking lot
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
The classy pedophile remembers to bring a Happy Meal for his date
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CKPG TV)
 
 
 
Iceman marathon challenge cancelled because it was too cold outside
source: ckpg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pacific Standard Magazine)
 
 
 
After 75 years of unquestioning acceptance of the efficacy of Alcoholics Anonymous, addiction researchers have found that not only does it have a pretty poor success rate, it actually may be worse than having no treatment at all
source: psmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I'm not saying aliens, but... well, aliens
source: sunnyskyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin (D-idn't Say) guilty of 20 counts of corruption and receiving bribes while in office
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Judge strikes down Kentucky's magical barrier against out of state gay marriages
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Point out that telling people to not report sex abuse is a bad thing? That's a firing
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Travel & Life)
 
 
 
12 great Florida breweries (aka "the reason we're so crazy down here")
source: floridatravellife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Welsh charity finds it takes one bottle of whiskey per day, minimum, in order for people to find a reason to continue living in Wales
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
#RejectedCandyHearts is the only Valentine's hashtag you need this year
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Variety)
 
NewsFlash
 
The father of variety and comedy died at 91, All Hail Caesar
source: variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this romantic serenading
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Grey)
 
 
 
Art Bell weighs in on firing of "Coast To Coast" host who sounded just like him for exposing the truth about FreeMasons, Bilderbergs, Illuminati, Trilateral Commission & George Noory Is Boring conspiracies
source: thenewamericanmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Nineteen imaginative insults from around the world, you starveling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's tongue, you bull's pizzle, you stock-fish. O for breath to utter what is like thee, you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bowcase; you vile standing-tuck
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFYI)
 
 
 
Latino activists gift toilet to AZ lawmaker over bill making it a crime for illegal immigrants to use public restrooms
source: kfyi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The good thing about cutting off federal unemployment benefits is that economists can collect more data on the "Kramer Effect": How people with no clear means of income live
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Belgium expected to approve euthanasia for teens. Subby understands the sentiment, but thinks that might cause problems after a generation or so
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Police keeping 'open mind' after 'knife attack,' although victim has stated he 'would like to go to the hospital'
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
National Corvette Museum loses eight cars into sink hole described as "massive", but likely smaller than average
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Since giving students As, Bs, Cs, Ds, and Fs can be seen as "demoralizing," Florida is considering dropping the grading scale in favor of a radically new one which will still irritate parents when their child gets a crocodile in math
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WTVN)
 
 
 
Woman changes name to "Sexy". Last name still needs work. w/ pic
source: 610wtvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Two teenage boys charged with murder, re-enacting every heavy metal album cover of the late 1980s
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Hip urban residents recycle and reuse plastic in their living spaces. Fark: Urban bees
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Maine Governor opposes desperately needed lifesaving drug because reasons
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
VideoEdit
 
Video Edit Challenge - Parody Facebook's Lookback. Link goes to an example
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ten people charged with manslaughter after 21 die in least successful Love Parade ever
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Research into just how drunk Cooter Brown really was is being conducted by: 1) MIT scientists, 2) The Mythbusters; 3) Lush in Florida
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Going to college may be expensive, but it's not as expensive as skipping it wholesale
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Researchers: Pizza herb could prevent 'winter vomiting disease.' Also, there is something called 'winter vomiting disease.'
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Internet campaign prevents euthanasia of 'most depressed dog in world', finds it a permanent home instead. With pics that make you go, "Yeah, now THAT'S a depressed dog. Weird"
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
World may never know how many people are actually killed by American drone strikes because researchers trying to investigate them are getting mysterious phone messages theatening them with death for doing it
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
New Orleans outsources speeding tickets to Arizona company unfamiliar with the concept of a weather-related school closure
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Massive winter storm moving up eastern seaboard today called "catastrophic" by forecasters, "potentially hilarious" by everyone who doesn't live in Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, Alabama, Mississippi or Louisiana
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
John Oliver reams wealthy, entitled 'dweebs' at tech awards show: 'F*ck you, straight away'
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Psychology Today)
 
 
 
Scientists say that Friends With Benefits relationships rarely end the friendship so go ahead and relieve some stress
source: psychologytoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clarion-Ledger)
 
 
 
Northern aggression blockades Mississippi River at Vicksburg. This is not a repeat from 1863
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Let's see what happens if we ask drivers to stop for pedestrians in crosswalks
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Ancient mammoth tusk unearthed in Seattle. Residents say they liked the tusk better before it was discovered
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wire fox terrier walks away with Best in Show at Westminster. Bloodhound shutout streak continues at 138 years
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Hell hath no fury like a drunk, 24-year-old woman with a boyfriend who is not in the mood
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Pot business applicants getting impatient. If only they had something that would relax them
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Having a baby can be a stressful time, but you might want to wait until you leave the delivery room until you vaporize some marijuana in order to relax
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
You are a swimming teacher. A student is having trouble in the water. Do you: A) jump in and save him, B) jump in and save him, or C) go change out of your street clothes, then look into jumping in and saving him. Well, try to save him
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New alarm clock hopes to wake you up screaming. Best alarm clock ever
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Government study confirms that Americans love pizza. Future studies set to confirm whether the sky is blue, water is wet, and salt is salty
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
You know who else liked Picasso, Renoir & Monet?
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 1954 production still from Creature From The Black Lagoon
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
So how much is a gold medal really worth to an athlete who wins one in Sochi? Well, it turns out you would be better off being Kazakhstani than American or Canadian
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Drinks Business)
 
 
 
Obama serves Hollande 'cheap' US wine
source: thedrinksbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
US and Italian police arrest 26 legitimate businessmen from the waste management, construction, and dockworker industries
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
All points bulletin issued for missing bull semen. No particular description provided
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
9 in 10 Americans worry at the thought of riding in a driverless car. Apparently have no problem doing the same in a car where the driver is texting
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The history of Valentine's Day is a lot more bloody than Hallmark ever mentioned
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Parishoners at a small church in Southampton like to worship the Lord the way they were created. And they sure weren't born with clothing on
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
Russia: We take spray-painting fences very seriously, being an environmentalist doesn't help either
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
We should expect El Niño: Dos, which is Spanish for.......... THE NIÑO.... TWO
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The South would like you to know that they've prepared this time so you can't laugh at their expense since they...DAMMIT EARL, stop "comforting" that ewe to "stay warm". I'm trying to reason with these damn Yankees
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gloucester Citizen)
 
 
 
Man surprised to find crack cocaine in Kinder egg
source: gloucestercitizen.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Aide to Bernard Madoff calls him a psychopath. Or as a psychopath is called on Wall Street, someone not smart enough to get away with it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
London's flood barrier used more in last 10 weeks than it was from 1982 to 1998
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Uplifting messages to Minnesota hospital patients have been etched in the snow by a mystery person, presumably in a nice, bright yellow color to make them easier to see
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Finally, a reason to visit Atlantic City: New Jersey bacon festival begins this week, "stretching the bounds of good taste and cardiovascular health"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
That guy touring the country with a Bigfoot corpse cancels his stop in Phoenix for a better gig in Texas
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some carbonated Lewinsky Goo)
 
 
 
'90s nostalgia is now a 'thing': Crystal Pepsi returning to store shelves
source: wallstreetsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Running out of other ways to inflict cruelty on the poor, Florida now makes it illegal for the homeless to cover themselves in a blanket during freezing weather
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Our food is always flesh, never frozen"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In the midst of increased connectivity, are we becoming more disconnected from one another - and ourselves?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mother who accidentally smothered her child to death two