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Sun February 02, 2014
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Beer, is there anything it can't do?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
The woman who ate 363 wings in 30 minutes on Friday wrapped up her weekend by eating 59 pancakes in twenty minutes, then she won her second consecutive bacon-eating contest, followed by eating a five-pound sandwich in under five minutes
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this smoking hot model
source: 25.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
By speaking to the media about the verdict the Italian judge in the Amanda Knox trial may cause the verdict to be thrown out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
About a year and a half ago, some douchebag shut down the city of Charleston by going full potato on the Ravenel Bridge. Yesterday, he did it again
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Mormons declare war on masturbation in creepy new video: Masturbation is the enemy, and the good Mormon must be vigilant
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
AT&T files patent to control access to internet and to charge for different levels of access. And so it begins
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
How did the bicycle cross the highway? On a Hovenring, of course. I didn't get it either, until I saw the pictures... what a feat of engineering
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Mexican hipsters proclaim cerveza artesanal FINITO, are now into pulque. "They treat pulque like a fad. They don't value it as part of our culture, our traditions. They don't know their history," grouses pulqueria bartender
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
You just knew Superpope has done something in the past two days
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Doctor infects his patients with Hep-C in the US, flees back to Pakistan. Is arrested & extradited to face tri.....what? They didn't arrest him? What did they do with him? Made him Pakistan's new Health Minister? FUUUUUUUUU-
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Truck spills 6,000 pounds of glass on road. What a pane
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dog taking it all in
source: ppcdn.500px.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Apparently deciding they just haven't pissed enough people off yet, Sochi municipal officials hire a contractor to kill as many stray dogs as possible before the Olympcs
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EarthSky)
 
 
 
Sing Your Own Song: The loneliest whale in the world, the 52-Hertz whale, sings a song no other whale will answer and travels the oceans alone
source: earthsky.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
New York City Mayor Bill De Blasio curses the entire nation after dropping a groundhog on Groundhog Day. And no, that is not a euphemism
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Florida's one legal pot smoker would love some company. And some Doritos"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Are you religious but hate that mass takes up your valuable skiing time? Then this is for you
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
NewsFlash
 
Philip Seymour Hoffman found dead in his apartment
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Prescott Daily Courier)
 
 
 
Sixteen-year-old finds himself facing felony indecent exposure charges after mooning a bus full of students. Yes, a felony. Talk about "assinine," am I right?
source: dcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Voice)
 
 
 
Gotta love small town "news," where baking pies for a Super Bowl VIP tailgate gets a 300-word article. Seriously, though, it's a pretty cool story. Damn it, I fell for it
source: peekskill.dailyvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Cop-chemist steals drugs, replaces them with over-the-counter pills. Thousands of court cases could be in jeopardy. Florida tag facepalms
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
People slow to react are more likely to die prematurely. Oh. No. Here. Comes. A. Bus. Must. Get. Out. Of. Wa
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
"That's a long way for a car to travel, in reverse, on a Saturday morning"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monroe News)
 
 
 
Charity worker returns $43,000 found in donated clothing. That's a lot of Goodwill
source: monroenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Remember ASCII art? Well, it all started as "artyping" and it's been around since the 1890s. Here's a brief history with some impressive examples :D
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
A 62-year-old gray-haired lingerie model? You'd still jump those bones
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know those mysterious underwater rings that may have been made by World War II bombs, or aliens, or fairies? Leave it to Denmark to suck out all the fun and reveal that they're actually a result of poison
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Professional cuddler" charges $80 dollars an hour to spoon with you. No word on how much she charges to fork
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Inmate's execution brings an alarming literalness to the phrase "jumping the gun"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HousingWire)
 
 
 
Third prominent banker found dead in six days. Details to the left, tin foil hat adjustments to the right
source: housingwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
First they want to dictate how high your grass can be and how many cars can be parked at your house. Now HOAs want to ban your from smoking medical marijuana in your back patio even if it's legal in your state
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dear Dan: Squirrels climb onto my bird feeder, eating like limber little pigs. How might I make peace with them? Dear guy: why don't you start calling the contraption a "squirrel and bird feeder"? With this new framing, your problems should go away
source: danariely.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Australian rapper
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
One good thing about the Polar Vortex? It's decreased the murder rate in Chicago by 50% compared to January 2013, so it's got that going for it
source: homicides.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The 5 least intelligent dog breeds. Your dog wants, um uh hmm
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Mother nearly falls into a fit of apoplexy and is forced to confront her irrational fear of the color pink when her daughter asks for a pink pair or "sparkly princess tennis shoes." Because FEMINISM
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British politicians hold emergency debate on the most important crisis facing them. The Parliament canteen is putting up the price of tea. By five pence a cup
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Digital underground is behind the attack on Target. Humpty-Hump could not be reached in his normal stall for comment
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
Woman charged with possession of a hallucinogen and burglary after she looted the house of a man who had just died after falling into a trash compactor. Well damn...talk about a story that has everything
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up live at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 2 hours of live music from Juneau, Alaska, hosted by farker soosh
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chris Christie booed at Super Bowl pre-event. No word if he'll find a way to shut down roads surrounding the stadium
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat February 01, 2014
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Razor blades found inside butter purchased at NJ supermarket, which is a great deal considering how much razor blades cost
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Expert says you're not drinking enough beer
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this creepy Ford parked outside
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boy Scout leaders that like to get their rocks off charged with felony criminal mischief
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Death and Taxes Magazine)
 
 
 
Surprise Fark Party
source: deathandtaxesmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Here's what not drinking for a month taught me about Prohibition"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Earworm eradication study proves successfu.... THERE WAS A FARMER, HAD A DOG, AND BINGO WAS HIS NAME-O and now you'll be forced to RTFA and find out how you can save yourself from it
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediabistro)
 
 
 
Fox News voted most/least trusted network. Difficulty: This isn't a multiple choice question. Bonus: 14% don't trust Comedy Central
source: mediabistro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Italian teacher accidentally shows porn to a classroom full of 8 year-olds, which was on a USB stick from a child's mother labeled Girls on Film; it featured "graphic gang bang scenes" set to music from Duran Duran. Best Show & Tell EVAR
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby writing a paper for school about online forums and their sex lives. How often do you have it?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If there's one thing liberals and conservatives can agree on, it's their collective outrage over a new study that says liberals drink more. "I swear, this may be the dumbest article I have ever read"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chinese Lunar Rover may have been damaged because of the Moon's weather (yes, the Moon actually does have weather)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this SWAT squad
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas Observer)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Blood diamonds. New Hotness: Blood avocados
source: blogs.dallasobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Don't just assume she's guilty. We all know the Italian Justice system is insane
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Win-win
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashoba Publishing)
 
 
 
Massachusetts bans throwing away leftovers because don't you know there are starving children in Dorchester and will you PLEASE sit up straight and not roll your eyes while your governor is talking to you
source: nashobapublishing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Unlike your loser brother-in-law, a bald eagle that went through rehab a few years ago is doing fine, raising his family and earning an honest living
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
O RLY?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Red Shtick)
 
 
 
Creation Museum President Ken Ham and Bill Nye "The Science Guy" will hold a joint exercise in intellectual masturbation on February 4. Also, white chocolate is a lie
source: theredshtick.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Okay, so who had "Jaywalking in Vancouver" as the next thing Rob Ford was going to be busted for?
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
DUI charges are bad enough. DUI charges while driving a state snow plow are liable to make a few headlines
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
As if you needed another reason not to visit the most insane state in the country, the African Giant Snail has now taken room, devastating crops, poisoning humans, and attacking stucco
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Mother takes her 15 year-old daughter to New Jersey for the Super Bowl so she can make some quick cash by selling her teenager to visitors for sex. Things, of course, did not go as planned
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Labrador retriever voted most popular breed for 23rd straight year. Your loser dog wants a recount
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Papal Guy)
 
 
 
Caption what the Pope is saying to his posse
source: i2.cdn.turner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Snow Miser)
 
 
 
People in the South are trying to prove that snow is actually fake because it's a government conspiracy. Fark won't post this because they're in on it...or ARE they?
source: freakoutnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Buckfast is a tonic wine with 15% alcohol and as much caffeine as 8 cans of Coke. Just about everyone has a problem with that: "Between 2010 and 2012 Buckfast was mentioned in almost 6,500 crime reports." Sound delicious
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Why do we celebrate Groundhog Day? There is no way that this winter is *ever* going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be stopped
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
You know how you've always taken comfort in the fact that 'beer taster' is the one job that can't be done by a robot? I've got some bad news for you
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
For those feng shui-ing at home, this year you should avoid the Northwest sector of your house unless you have a bunch of copper and brass pans. And If you wish to avert heated argument and emotional upheavals, stay away from the Southeast sector
source: business.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Deputies in Southern California shoot a teen while on a manhunt for someone else. This is not a repeat of the story from last week or two weeks ago or three weeks ago or
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Family props up and poses with dead boxer's corpse in boxing ring "casket", proving it's never too late for a photo op. Stay classy Puerto Rico
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Good: You're a field deputy for the sheriff's department. You have no office, no phone number issued to you and you spend your days at the country club. Better: The position pays you $171,000 a year
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CultureMap)
 
 
 
Think your job is beneath your talents? At least you don't have to dress up in a Poo Fairy suit and hang out at a park looking for people cleaning up after their dogs
source: houston.culturemap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Food snatching cafeteria worker sent back to Lunch Lady Land
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this donkey delivery
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquirer Philippines)
 
 
 
Tokyo thief busted for pilfering 450 pairs of high heel shoes from area hostess clubs. "I've felt pleasure in stealing high heels. I was not interested in brand-new products"
source: newsinfo.inquirer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Thirteen words that don't mean what they used to
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
US medical board now allows gynecologists to treat men, but only if they have seen at least two Lifetime Original movies in the last six months, and really listen to what their wives have to say
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Four-year-old artist paints pictures of cats and sells them to help homeless strays, raising almost $1,000 in just one week. This kid would fit right in on Caturday
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Dead biker buried riding his Harley in gigantic transparent casket
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Babysitter ensures her charges obey her by threatening them with "the electric chair." But don't let the name fool you; she only used a stun gun on them
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Party VA/ DC/ MD Arlington, VA Update
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Party Arlington, VA/ DC/ MD
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The rest of the UK can rest easy on their couches knowing that Manchester is the laziest place in the country
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Gawker reports that much of what Gawker reports is bullshiat
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Roswell New Mexico has finally been invaded by aliens disguised as tumbleweeds
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
DO NOT FEED THE BEARS. This 81-year-old woman would tell you more but she's in jail tonight
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Secret Service arrests hatchet-wielding, rifle-toting nutjob for planning to kill ex-President George W. Bush so he could have sex with Barbara Bush. Enjoy your nightmares, folks
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Priceless Stradivarius violin stolen, $100,000 reward offered. No strings attached
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
There is a perfect way to hold a hamburger. Here comes the juicy, mouth-watering science
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Had any fresh fruits and vegetables lately? How about some almonds or walnuts? California produces a huge percentage of this stuff, and the state just cut farm water supplies to ... zero
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Consumer Product Safety)
 
 
 
A baby with a pacifier mustache is cute, but definitely not worth getting choked up about
source: cpsc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 31, 2014
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
You take a man's woman, he gives you a mug to the face. That's the Sunshine State way
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Florida Woman confronts news reporter, decides to drive away in his news vehicle (of course the reporter recorded the whole thing)
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Business Journals)
 
 
 
In the event the plane loses cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down from the panel over your seat. You should secure your own oxygen mask before taking a selfie
source: bizjournals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Woman eats 363 chicken wings in 30 minutes to win $22,000. What's her Fark handle?
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Man leaves firearms safety class, clearly didn't learn enough because the next stop was the emergency room
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
High school football coach in hot water for baptizing his players
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Boys playing a doorbell-ringing prank picked the wrong house - a really bad house
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this concrete shell sprayer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Obviously cats have the ability to teleport over long distances
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Press)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Convicted masturbator doesn't get off
source: dailypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Warning: Popping Xanax can be dangerous. So snort it instead
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday and that means it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. Bonus: This is Quiz #300
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
The latest ObamaCare scandal: regulating pizzas. THIS. IS. AN. OUTRAGE
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rail line up
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Confessions of a former TSA screener: Yes, we were laughing at your junk
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Sorry about keeping your brain-dead wife on life support against her will because of our medieval religious laws -- here's a massive hospital bill to make you feel better
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Weddings are a little different in Russia
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Six-year-old boy suspended from school for four days for breaking school lunch policy after food police search his lunchbox and find a bag of Mini Cheddars
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
тоо sоои
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Woman in Michigan charged with "Super Drunk" driving. Fark: There is actually a law in Michigan called The Super Drunk Driving law
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Wish you could get away with punching George Zimmerman in the face? Now's your chance
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the plumpest of them all?' 'Famed is thy girth, Majesty. But hold, a chunky maid I see. Rags cannot hide her heaving size. Alas, she is more fat than thee.'
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, what the hell did government goons do to this leader of the Ukrainian protests? (link replaced) (Graphic image in article)
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Does the golf rule "play it as it lies" apply to alligator heads as well? It looks angry
source: thesent.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
The government moves to block broadband internet access. Is the government in a. China, b. Iran or c. Kansas?
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Comediante populares en Univision y regularmente en Sábado Gigante Adonis Losada se enfrenta a un juicio por 66 pornografía infantil cuenta. Aye yi yi, esto no es bueno
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You never know what can happen if you call a phone number in an Old Spice ad
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
Toddler still napping with puppy 2 months later. Somebody wake that kid up
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What woman wouldn't want the world's hottest gynaecologist to examine them and examine them and examine them and examine them?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Among some cultures, waving your penis is a friendly greeting. Not so much in a cheerleader's locker room, however
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
How a single boob changed the internet. No, not Al Gore (Not safe for work)
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
China's had enough of the NYT's shiat
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you accidentally dumped a few garbage bags full of body parts alongside the highway in Michigan, the police would really, really like to talk to you
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
News: Woman comes downstairs to find a cat destroying her furniture. Fark: It's a Goddamn puma
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Stab me once, shame on you. Stab me twice... (w/ "I'll probably stab you again" mug shot)
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Will County Herald-News)
 
 
 
Security cameras catch man trying to steal security cameras catch man trying to steal security cameras catch man trying to steal security cameras
source: theherald-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Why straight men are so scared of teh gays
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Star Phoenix)
 
 
 
Woman finds ashes of her late daughter dumped in the street after two teen girls steal the urn from her car. "Disgusting, Vile, Awful wastes of Oxygen" tag not available
source: thestarphoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Bad: Your phone with naked pictures on it is stolen. Worse: you're a teacher, and the naked pictures show up online. Fark: The cops figure out the phone wasn't stolen, you sent the pictures, and now they are going to charge you
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Mr. Kubrick, as usual, got the details quite right. I'm still not loving the bomb
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Shop didn't stock beer two men were looking for. Did they: a) choose a different beer, b) go to a different store, or c) set the shop on fire?
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYC gov't: wait, when a homicidal mental patient just strolls out of Creedmoor we're supposed to alert the neighborhood? What kind of fascist Giuliani crap is that?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Turns out some of that ice that was sent to Iraq ended up having more nutrients than originally thought
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Woman charged with shoplifting over $800 worth of merchandise from Whole Foods. In other words, she shoplifted a bottle of herbal shampoo, two organic apples, and a package of frozen soy nuggets
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"My son is 11. He is not getting dirty with any female anytime soon. Not as long as I am around. So I threw out the bottle of Axe Body Wash. It just promotes sex, not cleanliness"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Knox Knox.. who's there? Raffaele Sollecito arrested at the Austrian border
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seymour Tribune)
 
 
 
Man emulates the fed and keeps printing money. Quickly learns they don't like competition
source: tribtown.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
American Psychiatric Association spins wheel, invents the next disorder that drug companies can start marketing to you: "Caffeine Use Disorder"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this small moment of victory
source: i.huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Licking County woman asks court to change her name to Sexy. The evidence does not support her motion
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Snake bite causes $89,000 hospital bill. It would have been less but the snake demanded a private room
source: healthland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Dead kangaroo found tied to a chair as if it had been tried and convicted in some sort of mock court
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
It's not truly a police chase until the stolen deep fryers start flying from the truck
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Unicorn lairs; waterproof liquid; living in the year '103' - it's the craziest ever North Korean news coverage
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japanese wives reveal oddest behaviors of their foreign husbands: "I found out my husband was secretly buying natto because he actually likes it"
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Trapped motorists from Georgia snowstorm given MREs by National Guard. Commuters immediately complain that if they wanted to be snowbound and be forced to consume inedible food, they would have gone to the Olympics in Sochi
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Want to know who's responsible for creating the dreaded font Comic Sans? I have one word for you: Elves
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Guitar player loses tips of fingers in attack - may have to give up music and become a drummer
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Comrade Ric Romero reports from Moscow: Heavy drinking is killing Russians
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman's death ruled due to cannabis toxicity. And no, TFA is not from the Onion, though it does read as if it came directly out of a 1980s DARE class
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Miami-based playboy says he only has $300,000 left from his $90 million fortune, will sponge off friends and family when he's blown it all
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Remember the 'Worst Police Sketch' ever? Well the suspect has been caught based on that drawing
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man arrested for trying to do his stupid job too well
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Scientists have created a one-way sound machine where you can hear another person but they can't hear you, or as women call them, men
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Eight-year-olds, Dude
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Football is the most dangerous thing you can let your children enjoy
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
You think you're doing a good deed when you sign for a package for the people next to you? Think again neighbor
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 30, 2014
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Brain surgery is about six miles harder than you thought it was
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Daylight Saving Time. New hotness: Florida time
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
The five Doritos ad finalists that could score a touchdown at the Super Bowl
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Woman filing lawsuit must prove that car crash has left her unable to use Facebook as much as she used to
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
Shutting off highway lights overnight to cut electricity bills actually costs more than it saves because contractors need to manually light up all the extra accident scenes. Who knew?
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
RIP Colonel Meow
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this body builder
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Beware the Fisher Price Gang
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Trentonian)
 
 
 
The guy who was jailed for marijuana but released every 20 days so he could smoke marijuana can now smoke all the marijuana he wants
source: trentonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
If you're getting chased by the police, hiding in a high school probably isn't the brightest idea
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Woman dies after her scarf becomes stuck in escalator. Authorities suggest the public take steps to avoid any recurrence
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
Proving In-N-Out's superiority over similar burger chains, Google maps reveals which locations have the longest lines, and come on...no one would wait in line for an hour at Whataburger
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Boston Bomber to be punished with going to a dozen Red Sox games, dressed as a Yankees fan
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Rand Paul fights the good fight to allow guns in post offices, which could not possibly cause anything to go wrong
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Amanda Knox found guilty of murder...again (link fixed)
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Article goes to great pains to prove that wind chill is not a real thing while simultaneously conceding that wind makes cold temperatures feel colder. Glad they cleared that up
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What interesting ways do you use avocados? Are slices on sandwiches or making the base for guacamole the best options? Show us tasty avocado recipes
source: twopeasandtheirpod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man tracks down the stranger who persuaded him not to jump six years ago, just to say "thanks, I'm in a good place now"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palmer Report)
 
 
 
The only thing more asinine than petitions to deport Justin Bieber? Petitions to let him stay
source: palmerreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Like watching Sarah Palin give a speech, watching Fox News and MSNBC makes you dumber for having done so
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cleaning Kiwi
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Australians are hoping to deport all immigrants who spit and swear which, if successful, will make the remaining 2% very happy
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Majestic snowy owl takes up residence in Washington DC, is promptly hit by Metro bus
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Your memo could really have used a ":-)"
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Son banishes Mom to sit outside for hours in the cold. In New Jersey. And she's happy
source: uk.eurosport.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
10 year old boy sees something in an open garage that doesn't look quite right, and soon becomes a life-saving hero
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
No, there's no such thing as "frost-brewed beer." But hey, you're drinking Bud Light, so it's not like you're picky
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Italian man adopts 15 cats. (awwww). So he could cook them (WTF), and serve them to friends at dinners (GAH)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Virginia woman mystified as to why other drivers got annoyed when she broke down in the middle of the road and just sat there for an hour
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
You cheat on your partner? Wow, you've got some huge balls
source: phys.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Man gets all dressed up like he's going to rob a Wal-mart or something
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Good news, everybody. It looks like there's a new immunotherapy coming that could end peanut allergies forever by feeding allergic people small doses of peanuts. Well, hell, we could probably end it now by doing that, but fine, we'll try it your way
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Heirs have it the worst. Not only did they not ask for their millions but some people make fun of them
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Engineer trainee arrested after a female passenger happened to notice him polishing his cow-catcher
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
Google now lets you build with Legos on your desktop. Well, there goes my day
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Good: Apartment complex is home to tenants. Bad: Apartment complex is home to tengazillionants
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
You have cancer? You're fired, GTFO
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington City Paper)
 
 
 
"If you are a restauranteur and you see somebody walking out of the restaurant with a giant bulge in the front of their pants... they're either having a really good date, or they're robbing you"
source: washingtoncitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Is that 40,000 piranhas in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Lansing, MI's 8th annual "Cardboard Classic" sled race featured a homemade 8' tall AT-AT walker: "The AT-AT walker's journey down a snow-covered hill lasted about 15 seconds...it crashed before reaching the finish line"
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Passengers on norwalk-hit cruise ship describe hundreds of people "vomiting into buckets" as the ship is put into port in New Jersey and left tied up there as an early tailgate desination
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Remember how in the State of the Union the President praised Costco for paying employees a higher than minimum wage? One employee would like to have a rebuttal
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Be on the lookout for Some Guy
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Grand Theft Auto: Desert City
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut manager arrested for spitting on a cop's pizza, forgetting his liter of cola
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Like this. Facebook creates a few million bots, raises user numbers and soaks Wall St for a few billion
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
While the South cries about 3 inches of snow, one Alaska city has been trapped for a week behind a 100 foot deep avalanche. Bonus: The avalanche blocked a river, creating a massive lake with its own icebergs where the highway used to be
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remember the little boy who died while saving his relatives from a fire? He was laid to rest as a firefighter. RIP littlest fireman. You did good
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dueling Outrage: Parents allowing their precious snowflake to crawl all over $10M artwork -vs- paying $10M for THAT
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Not News: car stolen from dealership. News: the accused is a paraplegic. Fark: Using his cane to hold down the gas pedal
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you're reading this then you're in the top 60%. Cungretulataions
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
News: Edward Snowden reveals telepathic contact with extraterrestrials during interview. Fark: Message is revealed only when you run the audio backwards
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent Online)
 
 
 
Teenage burglar captured by police dog despite taking off his clothes. If only he hadn't run through a tunnel, across a little see-saw and through a hoop of burning fire
source: kentonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Doctors are about to set stricter standards for defining autism, which may make it harder to decide that your child has it. Don't worry, though, there's still ADHD, celiac, Asperger's, lactose intolerance, and a few other options to choose from
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
Video
 
WTFark looks at the coming American trend of getting some coffee...and a little pussy
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Shep Proudfoot nearly loses another friend
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
China's "human flesh search engine" is ruthless and takes no prisoners
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
North Dakota man becomes the first person to be arrested, jailed and convicted with the help of a drone. Worst episode of "Cops" ever
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Here is your sandwich"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Want to see if your friends are good liars? Got five seconds? Here's a trick, honest
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Drunk man hit while walking in the road. Two bartenders charged after serving him 6 beers and 3 drinks during his night of drinking. Police apparently invoking the state's Lightweight Drinker Law
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hong Kong developer who offered $65 million to any man that wed his lesbian daughter has withdrawn his offer after an open letter from her; says he knows when he's licked
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rutland Herald)
 
 
 
"I do not have to leave. I'm an American and have a Constitutional right to be here," says restaurant patron who recently got his GED in law
source: rutlandherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man, and you thought *your* HOA was bad when you pissed them off
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Chinese graduates are trying to get their noses in front by getting plastic surgery to make their honkers look more like the Eiffel Tower
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Why is [state] so ______?" The biggest stereotype of every state in America in one map
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN, forgetting that the world extends north of II-285, analyzes what other cities might learn from Atlanta about how to handle 2" of snow
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man tries to rob somebody, instead shoots himself in the manhood area
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTW Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Middle school student disciplined after spiking opponent's Gatorade cooler with bleach. Fortunately the other team was just a load of regular whites
source: wbtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these happy hikers
source: 24.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Norway's traffic jams are becoming the cleanest and quietest in the world "
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British dating site caters to women seeking part time lovers who like to spend their free time away from each other. In other words, a husband
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Columnist calls for an end to society treating young men like sex-crazed monsters, especially since middle-aged and old men are also sex-crazed monsters
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Ensuring that he will come back as a urinal cake in his next life, thief swipes iPad from disabled student who needs it to communicate
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBZ2 Bangor)
 
 
 
A cow this cute you don't eat all at once
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
40 elementary school students in Utah get an early lesson on adult problems when their lunches are taken from them and thrown away because of an outstanding meal account debt
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
If you watch the Puppy Bowl, you're worse than Hitler
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Snakes jump from trees and glide 100 feet to attack. Sleep tight
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Cap'n Crunch's Sprinkled Donut Crunch Cereal. A million diets cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Upscale" restaurants have nearly three times the calories and over twice the fat of McDonalds. Difficulty: Applebees and Chilis now qualify as "upscale"
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
China bans smoking in K-12 schools. Look what you've done now, America, with your crazy health fads. Now their growth won't be stunted and they'll need twice as much food, clothing, room, etc
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man builds life size version of a Cozy Coupe complete with engine. Fark: At 0-60mph in 17 seconds the toy version is still faster
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 456: "Old Man Winter 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 29, 2014
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Think McDonald's fries are addictive? Try their Heroin Happy Meals
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
King of American condiments is mayonnaise. Miracle Whip suspiciously absent
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
In other news, Putin apparently has pools of blood in which to drown people. He is starting to sound like not such a nice guy
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Porn star offers a BJ to whoever can make her the coolest Lego creation. 300 submissions later, everything's going great until the lawyers get involved
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Police shoot pregnant mother's dog because, well, it's in her driveway
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Bobby Hill charged with sexual battery. That boy ain't right
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Cop: Sure, I'll take a BJ for $50. You totally look like this hot chick from Vice Squad
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Stem cell discovery could eliminate need for embryo research and usher in human cloning. Because if there's one thing this world needs, it's more people; WOTD: totipotent
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this prime minister and mascot
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nine MSN)
 
 
 
I didn't say I was nervous, I said I had butterflies in my stomach
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Entrepreneur of the year award goes to the lady pulling down $9,000 a month for simply eating in front of her web cam
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald Blog)
 
 
 
Man being chased by cops says "You'll never catch me alive", shows them he is a man of his word
source: miamiherald.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A headline with something for everyone: Barack Obama's high school cannabis dealer beaten to death by gay lover in argument over flatulence
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Dear Northern assholes, please stop laughing at our snow problems. Kindest regards, The South
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RYOT.org)
 
 
 
And the worst dad ever award goes to this guy
source: ryot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Are you frustrated in your secret yearning to be a hipster by the fact that you're too unhip to find the hip part of your city? Well, fret no longer, square boy, there's a spreadsheet just for you
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Now *this* is how you troll: Edward Snowden nominated for Nobel Peace Prize
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange Coast Magazine)
 
 
 
Heiress to In-N-Out Burger explains her low profile is due to kidnapping attempts, one at the corporate HQ. They would never pull that on 5 Guys
source: orangecoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Thought you were done paying attention to the West Virginia water crisis? Well, how 'bout some formaldehyde to top ya off?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Photoshop this albino blimp
source: static6.businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Under long-standing Virginia law, Sunday had been 'declared a rest day for all species of wild bird and wild animal life, except raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings.'"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
After posting losses yet again, Nintendo President performs seppuku on 50% of his pay
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
FL missionary sentenced for sexually abusing young, indigenous girls in the Amazon rain forest. And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for all those pictures he took and uploaded to a child porn website
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Explorer reveals how he couldn't sleep in extreme heat, during trek to South Pole
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London 24)
 
 
 
He's very rich, but not very smart: Millionaire baffled why wife became 'so aggressive' after he replaced her with younger model. The kicker: he asked her to stay on as his 'housekeeper'
source: london24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The comma is disappearing from English which is fine because it's pointless silly and dumb but while nobody really needs to use it anymore that doesn't mean grammar isn't like important
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman has sex change to avoid paying off debts, then finds he'll have to man up
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Colorado Governor Hickenlooper temporarily renames the state's 14,000-foot mountains after the Denver Broncos. Subby was going to go hiking, but refuses to climb up Peyton Manning. Ew
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Fark: You built your Italian estate well behind a boulder from an earlier landslide. TOTAL FARK: I said "EARLIER" landslide. (w/amazing pics)
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Calls for help flood social media as freak snowstorm turns Atlanta into 'frozen hellscape'
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Not news: Snow expected in forecast. News: Winter storm warning expected in forecast. Fark: In Hawaii
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford: "I had northing to do with that murder". Well, that should clear that up
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
How do you determine the pecking order among musicians when there is no drummer?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
Never date a girl who travels. She will be unimpressed with your new car and your expensive watch. She would rather climb a rock or jump out of an airplane than hear you brag about it
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Los Angeles named the best U.S. city for walking. At least you can count on not ever running into any other pedestrians
source: management.fortune.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
If you are stranded in the snow, don't call 911. Contact Atlanta Police via Facebook or Twitter. #iampinnedundermycar #cantfeelmyextremities #selfie
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Collection of photographs from Kiev shows what life in the Maidan protest zone is like
source: zyalt.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Georgia governor declares "Winter Storm Awareness" Week, days before a predicted winter storm hits, then claims it was "unexpected"
source: blogs.ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Grammy Awards show attracted 28.5 million viewers, a modern record. The last time that many people watched, the songs winning the awards were actually released on records
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maine Morning Sentinel)
 
 
 
It must be the time of the season. Zombees threaten Vermont
source: onlinesentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
US and South Korea infiltrating Coca-Cola and Choco Pies into North Korea, opening new front in the War on Obesity
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Eight hundred students down 5,000 Jagerbombs in one night. They're sure there was a reason why they did it but don't remember it
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Med school professor cuts out the middleman, has his students update Dr. Wikipedia
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Biloxi Sun Herald)
 
 
 
Southern Baptist leaders to host three day sex summit in Nashville. Apparently it will be three straight days of missionaries talking about missionary
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In what's been a long-standing battle, some scientists have always believed the Grand Canyon is very, very old. Others believe it's quite young. Now new evidence shows they both might be right. See, creationists and evolutionists? You can get along
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
New law would limit the amount of hours television could be used to babysit children
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Forget Superman. It's Superpope. "Kneel before Zod. I mean God"
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Milton Keynes Citizen)
 
 
 
Here is your child's report card, and here is your bill for picking your child up late multiple times. We aren't your babysitting service
source: miltonkeynes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newnan Times-Herald)
 
 
 
Teen charged with vehicular homicide and taking the most close-up mugshot in the history of mug shots
source: times-herald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
When does a police officer want to be recorded by the public? When he is getting arrested and is resisting and getting his ass kicked by other officers of course
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Georgia gets dusting of snow, turns into Mad Max sequel
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Meet Reverend Bob Larson, who performs exorcisms via Skype. If you thought coffee was hard on a keyboard, you should try vomiting pea soup on one
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, a bank robber
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
The Brazillian backlash has begun, with more and more women now preferring to look as though they have Bob Ross in a head scissors
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Police stop fake armed robbery during filming
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Longview News Journal)
 
 
 
Jail employee underestimates the accounting abilities of inmates as she siphons money from their commissary account. Inmates temporarily without $8 packets of Ramen and two cigarettes
source: news-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maclean's)
 
 
 
The Keystone war
source: www2.macleans.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Talk about extreme couponer: Man so mad that his wife paid $1 for a package of freezer bags that he kicks her, tries to stab her cat, then throws the bags onto the neighbor's roof
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
LA hipsters feel ordinary beach is too mainstream, propose city repurpose aging, filthy open-air water reservoir in Silver Lake as "Hipster Beach" for swimming and sunning
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Photos from inside an Iranian mental hospital. Crazy
source: lightbox.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Citizens Voice)
 
 
 
It's nice to hear stories of teenagers who are kind to their teachers, like this 16-year-old told police he decided to "make it happen" for teacher and the 17-year-old boy who she found "hot"
source: citizensvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCSH 8 Portland)
 
 
 
Mane man who once sexually assaulted a horse bit off more than he could chew with new sex charges. He'll be sent out to pasture. Neigh, probably the state pen. Saddle teach him
source: wcsh6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Armed robbers turn walk-in liquor store into personal drive-up retail outlet - tying workers then spending two hours calling friends, filling orders curbside: "They were calling friends saying, 'What you want? What you want?'"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stylish pooch
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The longest standing ovation last night went to Army Ranger Sgt. 1st Class Cory Remsburg, "Day by day, he's learned to speak again and stand again and walk again - and he's working toward the day when he can serve his country again,"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philadelphia Magazine)
 
 
 
How to make it onto FARK: 1) Crash your car. 2) Take all your clothes off when it is freezing cold out. 3) Play with yourself. (WARNING: Video Not safe for work)
source: phillymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
As if mannequins weren't creepy enough, designers are working to make them look more human than ever
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Processed food is slowly poisoning everyone," claims heart doctor with sinister agenda
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
The Girl Scouts finally unveil their first gluten-free cookie, a chocolate chip confection that tastes like the old McDonald's chocolate cookies
source: greatideas.people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boobies)
 
 
 
Think Beijing's famous smog Is bad? Delhi's is worse
source: firstpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tallahassee Democrat)
 
 
 
FARK ready headline: "Fugitive Leads Law Enforcement on Canoe Chase"
source: tallahassee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 28, 2014
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Man takes McDonald's "lovin' it" ad campaign too seriously
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Agnostic? No you're not; you're an atheist
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Study shows people who are dumped are more likely to have revenge sex than those doing the dumping
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Twenty gigapixel interactive image of Seattle. Bonus: with Easter eggs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Meet the insane people who recycle toilet paper or try to live "toilet paper free." The whole thing just sounds like a crapshoot
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Well, the traffic gridlock in Atlanta from Snowmageddon 2014 was so bad that somebody ended up having a highway baby
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCN Raleigh)
 
 
 
Today's forecast: Mostly cloudy with a 100 percent chance of Weather Channel's Jim Cantore kneeing you in the nuts
source: wncn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
It's bad enough your house gets broken into, but it's even worse to find the burglar killed your beloved family dog, hung it in a closet, and left a threatening note on the canine's corpse
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Damn can't a bigot get a job as a Catholic school principal around here?"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
"When the victim stated she didn't have any money, the suspect pulled down his pants and began hitting the woman in her face with his penis and shouted, "____ give me the money"
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these creepy little dolls
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Pregnant woman arrested for shoplifting asks the police officers if she can go ahead and shoot some heroin. Hey, if you're going to go all-in, go all-in
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Estately)
 
 
 
Bing Auto-Complete teaches geography lesson about American states. Did you know Arkansas is a $#%HOLE?
source: blog.estately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lacrosse Tribune)
 
 
 
What's a good way for a middle school teacher to pass the time while at work? Looking at porn, of course
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
"Hi there. I noticed you're trying to break into my house. Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee instead while we wait for the police together?"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Remember back in the old days, when we almost nuked North Korea? Good times, good times
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Real Life: You forget to pay your rent on time and receive a strongly worded letter. Eve-Online: You forget to pay your rent and lose $200,000 worth of spaceships
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Wheel....Of....Tortuuuuuuure
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Yeah, "organic milk" is no better for you than the regular stuff. I know, I know, you can totally taste the difference, though
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lil Brudder the Greek dog couldn't make it on his own, so they shipped him off to England for life altering surgeries
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LAist)
 
 
 
L.A. Farkers can get 6-cent Martinis today in Los Feliz, Northeastern Farkers get another round of ice & snow
source: laist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
Video
 
WTFark takes a sweaty, in-depth look at what happens when you combine exercise with sex, which is honestly not even in the top five of activities you should combine with sex
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Make that 55 bodies found in a weird-ass graveyard behind a 100-year-old reform school in North Florida
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London 24)
 
 
 
Woman given £0 parking fine, then threatened with legal action when she doesn't pay it
source: london24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this iron mask
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Apparently, the idea of threatening to blow up your school via Facebook hasn't gotten old for teens in Polk County
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Kim's a little despot short and stout, Omaha explosion traced to snap count, and the Pope confirms that Al Gore is God: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/19 - 1/25
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