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Sun January 19, 2014
(NPR)
 
 
 
Do you have what it takes to pass the driver's license test in China?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
[Sappy]: Wedding portraits of bride and groom. [Interesting]: Made out of pizzas. [FAIL]: Domino's
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smoking or drinking during pregnancy can cause your baby to: A) be born premature, B) have deformities, or C) be gay
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
A North Texas man who paid $350,000 for the right to hunt an endangered African black rhino said he's had to hire full-time security due to death threats after his name was leaked onto the Internet
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
We farked air travel because our damn carry-on luggage
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
This man built a wagon to pull behind his bicycle for his three legged blind dog. Give this man a steak (although he will probably just give it to his dog). Bonus: the dog's name
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Patents you should worry about, but the real question is who draws these diagrams? Have they even MET a human before?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Photoshop this camera ball
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Flash: Mom concerned about about daughter's cleavage display. Hot Flash: daughter born during Johnson Administration
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin promises the Winter Olympics will be bribe-free and gay-friendly. Or possibly gay-free and bribe-friendly, it's so easy to get those confused
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Maryland mom performs exorcism on her children, succeeds in releasing their trapped souls
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photobucket)
 
 
 
Photoshop these 80's dancers
source: i6.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Even zombies need to sleep. Hello walrus, we be needing your brains
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parents warned about new junior high fad: smashing and snorting Rockets (Smarties for you Brits). Sadly, unlike the stupid snap bracelet crap, this one has youtube videos
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
While in the process of repairing damage from Hurricane Sandy, village board steps in to help a local WWII Vet and grocery store owner. Just kidding, they hit him with Eminent Domain so their buddies can build a new supermarket
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey has been colluding with insurance companies to import coyotes in order to reduce the deer population. What a wily idea
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Man spots 750 birds in one year, and not by sitting on a park bench with a bag of cracked corn
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOX Biloxi)
 
 
 
"I have to say Bob the opossum is our first experience performing aftercare cremation on a opossum. Bob is very well loved throughout the coast"
source: wlox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Not to shock you before you've had your coffee, but "customer" service at the IRS is bad and getting worse. That's it, I'm taking my "business" elsewhere
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
The Polar Vortex is back and it's going to be just as much fun as you remember. Oh, and shut up, California, you'll fall into the ocean soon enough
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
"Yeah, sucks that your kid got killed three months ago, but that roadside memorial is an eyesore and needs to go"
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Chinese man inflates 4 tires. In 21 minutes. With his nose. So, what impressive feat have YOU done this weekend?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Okay fine, fer sure fer sure, for some with valley fever there is no cure
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The Road Runner wins again. Meep Meep
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Your blog still sucks, but no more than any real journalist's
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop this iced head
source: l3.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Apparently, the best model for childhood education was developed in 19th century Germany. You know what else was developed in 19th century Germany?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If some street vendor in Memphis offers you a great deal on a "real Rolex", he just might be telling you the truth today
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
California residents wonder what could be next after mudslides and fires. HINT: Can you outrun a mountain lion? I'm just asking for a friend
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dangerous Minds)
 
 
 
Hey look at these old photos of this secular enlightened country where women wore short skirts, went to co-ed universities, voted, had equal rights and...Wait, that's what Afghanistan was like before the Taliban
source: dangerousminds.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
How college is sold to poor kids, who latch onto the notion of getting a four-year degree as the way to propel them into a superior social strata
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
San Jose restaurant Flames goes up in ... well ... flames
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
I don't always steal pickup trucks and get chased by police. But when I do, I do it while 9 months pregnant
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents radio show. You'll know it's me when the jazz switches to Butthole Surfers. LGT TuneIn stream
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 18, 2014
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Nurses have to deal with every jerkoff patient that shows up on their ward
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
Shrimp. Mayonaise. Doritos
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Man crafts 1:60 scale model of 777 out of manila folders. File this one under awesome
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
What do you do when your babysitter tattoos your children without your permission? Remove the tattoos with hot razor blades, DUH
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
A murder of crows, a bite of midges, a destruction of cats, a stampede of mourners
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
China plans to ban smoking in public. Critics argue that smoking a cigarette is the only way most Chinese people can get a little fresh air
source: behindthewall.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Twentieth time's a charm
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikimedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Create an unlikely sponsorship design for this race car
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Australian women lament drought of single, eligible manly men who regularly wrestle crocodiles or catch bulls. "There are so many guys that are metro, gay or hipster"
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Alexander Graham Bell, a patron saint of hydrofoils. Wait, what?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Feeling hungry? Here are the 17 most influential burgers of all-time, with an iconic slider at number one
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Colorado looks to extend bar closing time to 7 AM. After that you'll have to have pot for breakfast
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
I said NOISE IS THE #1 QUALITY OF LIFE COMPLAINT IN NYC
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Indian minister's wife tweets about her husband's affair. She then mysteriously fell out of a window onto an exploding bomb. And was also killed in shooting accident
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
For the first time in twenty years, Chicago schools will require children to have daily physical education that doesn't include running home to escape gang violence
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YLE (Finland))
 
 
 
Feeling chilly? You otter see this
source: yle.fi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Sacramento police on the lookout for every male Farker. With bonus 7th grade level police sketch
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The most popular thing ran by The New York Times was A) an article about addictive junk food; B) the election of Pope Francis; C) a dialect quiz
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual hood ornament
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Illinois police would like to remind you that you can be pulled over for using your cell phone while driving. Something you might keep in mind while transporting $1M in cocaine
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Caption these snow scoopers
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Verge)
 
 
 
Can't find last year's tax return? Good news: You can download it directly from the IRS now
source: theverge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Thor attacks Jesus, wins
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
One of ours is home from Kuwait. It's time for an ol' fashioned welcome home party for a soldier. JANUARY 18, AUSTIN, TX
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Billy Graham is ready to move on to the place of endless chocolate bars and marshmallows
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: dozens of passengers fall ill on Caribbean cruise. News: not a Carnival ship
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Since 2006, over seventy drivers from the Buffalo, NY area have driven into buildings. "Weird" tag is also for the person who maps them all
source: maps.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Baby-faced Russian teen may be responsible for Target retail hack, said he did it just for the lulz
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet Lindsay, nudist, free spirited dancer, abandoned girlfriend of Edward Snowden. He left her all alone, penniless and heartbroken. See PNot safe for work pics and videos of her 'artistic expressions'. Whatever shall she do?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
"Officer, am I under arrest?" "No, I'm just here to swap my drugs for your sex act." "In that case, YOU'RE under arrest"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Man who conspired to build a death ray is indicted by grand jury. Could face long prison term, or possibly banishment to a remote volcano as punishment
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Well, that is one habit you should not be getting into
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Religiously conservative people preach family values, yet engage in the sweet release of divorce more often than their heathen neighbors
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
White men can jump... to idiotic conclusions
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classic kitchen
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
If you woke up today on a bed of empty tequila bottles, coughing up cigarette butts and there's a wild llama running up and down your hallway, it can only mean one thing: You stayed out too late celebrating Betty White's 92nd birthday
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man sorting through old box in grandparents' house finds never before seen pics of the Challenger disaster, blasting subby right back to his fourth-grade classroom. Where were you older Farkers that day? (with the pics)
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Somehow in recent years Americans have managed to become both fitter and fatter
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huntsville Item)
 
 
 
A 10-year-old fourth-grader in Texas, asked his family and friends to give him rather odd gifts for his birthday: dog food, cat food, treats and a few bucks to donate to the Rita B. Huff Animal Shelter. Have a happy Caturday
source: itemonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Tips for getting your children to fall asleep when the whiskey just doesn't cut it
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
21-year-old Russian hottie arrives in UK speaking just six words of English, is now Masters student competing for Miss World University. WHAT A COUNTRY (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Model Wanted" ad never gets old
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Rabbi in charge of the Kabbalah Centre in LA--known for being spiritual director to Madonna and Ashton Kutcher--is being sued by a woman who claims he sexually assaulted her and threatened to "f*cking kill her" if she told anyone. Oy vey
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists warn the Sun has 'gone to sleep' and say it could cause temperatures to plunge. On the bright side, its face has cleared up nicely
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Cops want to search your computer for child porn? ENGAGE SHOE MAGNETS
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 17, 2014
(FastCo Design)
 
 
 
Forget bronzing your baby's first shoes, how about 3D printing your unborn fetus
source: fastcodesign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
Grand jury indicts man accused of killing wife with vacuum cleaner
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
In an attempt to satisfy America's blood lust, two states propose death by firing squad because it's "cost effective". Pay Per View rights still to be determined
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Survey Says: Women who don't change their name after marriage bring home more bacon and fry it up in the pan
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The Drunk Man strikes again. This time he called a 999 line 30 times in 4 hours to brag about his sexual exploits
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
This week's school shooting is sponsored by the City of Brotherly Love
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Cubs' new mascot
source: img.gawkerassets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Alabama pastor accused of stabbing his wife to death arrested... on the way to marry his boyfriend
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
You wouldn't expect TWO headlines on the same day about people getting randomly attacked by hammer-wielding psychos, but... well, here we are
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
A man was WHAT to death? Oh, shucked
source: mobile.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Yet another thing that makes being poor not fun: the sex sucks
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Company connected to West Virginia chemical spill that contaminated water for more than 300,000 people, Freedom Industries, files for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Well that didn't take long
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Fat-shaming fit mom is upset about being blocked on Facebook after WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY THE FARK I'M SUPPOSED TO CARE?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
America will drive off a broken bridge if its crumbling infrastructure is not funded soon
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Orkin ranks the top 50 cities for bedbug infestation. WTF Ohio? I mean, seriously, WTF?
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, and that means only one thing. The Fark Weird News Quiz. Which is actually two things. Wait, let me start over
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Not a toy (LGT inspiration)
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Pope defrocks 400 priests for molesting kids. No, not the new pope that you like; the old one that you hated
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Apparently lesbian mercenaries are a major concern in Uganda
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"The price of bacon, for example, rose by 9.6 percent last year." DO SOMETHING, OBAMA
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(So Bad So Good)
 
 
 
Take a break from looking for your stapler and check out 10 offices you wished you worked at
source: sobadsogood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
While Texas usually makes it easy to write the entire state off as dark-red backwater; it's worth noting that the mayor of Houston just married her long time, same-sex, partner. Of course, she had to go to CA to do it, ..but still
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Johnson County Daily Journal)
 
 
 
Judge denies grieving father's request to attend his 11-year-old daughter's funeral, just for the nitpicky reasoning that the father happens to be the guy who shot her
source: dailyjournal.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
The new Meadowlands "storm proof" map, complete with ominous black helicopters, looks suspiciously like the prison map from Escape From New York
source: photos.nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
The Family Changing Station at the mall is for A) diapering B) teens to have sex or C) teens to have sex while a family is diapering
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When giving $.75 to a homeless man, try not to make it look like a drug deal. And don't worry, the 'Fail' tag is for the 11 police cars who responded to giving change to a homeless man
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Still no cure for canc...oh, hang on a minute
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
UT officials say police officer involved in a quadruple murder-suicide- well a quadruple murder AND a suicide really, because a quadruple suicide? Well that'd really be something now wouldn't it?
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wire)
 
 
 
Though it's difficult to see how that's possible, new surgeon general's report say that smoking is even WORSE for you than previously thought; linking it to diabetes complications, birth defects, auto-immune diseases, and even tuberculosis
source: thewire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington, DC has a massive leak problem, which could have explosive consequences
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Japanese puppet show for children has one particular character that's a real dickhead
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
WWII Japanese soldier who did not surrender until 1974 dies. Or maybe that's just what he wants people to think
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Rahul Gandhi's bid to become candidate for Prime Minister from India's ruling Party was blocked by the powerful president of the party-who just also happens to be his mother. Well that's gonna make for an awkward Thanksgiving
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Today's easily-misinterpreted headline of the day: "Sex cams were to watch dog"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Snake slithers into lawyer's office. Police say it appears to have been a professional courtesy
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMTW Portland)
 
 
 
Maine schools would like to let parents know that they don't send old skinny guys in an SUV to pick up your kids for school
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dalje)
 
 
 
After literally seconds of intense investigative work, police manage to identify criminal mastermind behind stolen motorcycle caper
source: dalje.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Bushfire in Australia causes a 12-kilometre convection column, creating thunderstorms and lightning. Very very frightening
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Something blew on the USS Cole again
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSFA)
 
 
 
Man attempts to rob a Dollar General, gets a bullet for his trouble. With today's ammunition prices, that's probably worth more than anything that he could have stolen
source: wsfa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Sudden, massive snowstorm results into two forty-car pileups in Des Moines, Iowa, which is the equivalent of about half the state's population
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
If you're Target and you're trying to win back your customers' confidence, don't send out a spam email that reads like it was created by scammers
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Hidden contraband? Make the suspect take off their clothes. Concealing a weapon? Make the suspect take off their clothes. Speeding ticket? Clothes off, pal. Jaywalking? Naked time, buster
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Canadian boy spends freezing night on cracking ice floe, is rescued by police who say he accidentally wandered onto the Old People Ice Floe, on which elderly Canadians are banished
source: toronto.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Miami)
 
 
 
No matter how good they taste, it's illegal to dig up hundreds of turtle eggs for your omelets
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KALB Alexandria)
 
 
 
Late Pennsylvania outdoorsman apparently had no friends who know how to shoot flaming arrows
source: kalb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
You know how embarrassing it is when you forget your coffee on the roof of your car and drive off? Imagine how much worse it is when it's a middle-aged guy in boxer shorts clinging to the roof of your vehicle. Awwwwwkward
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Protip: Cops really hate it when people try to help other people obey the law, so don't do that
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman decides to try the old "pawn my car then tell the insurance company it was stolen so I can get even more money" ploy. Or as it's more commonly known, "fraud"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Johnson County Daily Journal)
 
 
 
A man avoids jail time with plea deal after shooting his girlfriend in the face. Maybe. She also might have shot herself but wasn't sure. Yes, alcohol was involved
source: dailyjournal.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Behold the majesty that is chocolate flavored fried chicken. CHOCOLATE FLAVORED FRIED CHICKEN
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you're a male teacher, it's never appropriate to forcibly remove a female student's shirt in class. Especially if she's a kindergartener
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Syrian rebels can't decide on whether to keep getting their asses kicked or to take their ball and go...well they don't really have homes anymore, but you get what I mean
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
My name is Dominick Gambino. You ruined my credit. Prepare to be investigated by the Secret Service, Experian
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Doctor who killed patient sues the dead guy's sons for making him late for dinner as a result
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you have ever followed career advice along the lines of "do what you love," then congratulations; you are a devalued, oftentimes mocked drone who is part of the problem. Or so says this columnist
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
In case you think ice cream isn't awesome enough, here's how you can carbonate it
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: You're gonna need a bigger __________. Difficulty: No boats
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who doesn't love going to the Waffle House completely wasted to gorge on food? But come on, a $1,666 bill is a bit ridiculous
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Rest easy, Philly - the Swiss Cheese Pervert has been apprehended. Still at large in the area, though, are the dreaded Upper Darby Double Gloucester Dolphin-Flogger and the Pennsauken Pecorino Pud-Pounder
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Power Technology)
 
 
 
Bill Gates backs UK scientists in new project to develop renewable energy from human waste, but wants them to come up with a better name than "Golden Power"
source: power-technology.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
\(•_•)ノデ═一
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC police can no longer sleep with cemetery residents
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
78-year-old woman has genius idea of abseiling down chimney to retrieve lost glasses. What could go wrong?
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Neighborhood complaining about the noise and possible danger of the local gun club they built their houses around
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Caption this pic of our very fine VP and his very fine lady friend as they sit in his very fine ride. Very fine
source: img.gawkerassets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
A mere 95% of ATMs in the world are still operating on Windows XP, but don't worry, your money is perfectly safe
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The biggest threats that could destroy the world in 2014. Sleep tight
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
It's soothing to know that during last week's polar-vortex police personnel were at-the-ready to assist in case of an emergency... that is if they're not busy playing video poker on their laptop while driving in near blizzard-like conditions
source: bolingbrook.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The latest fashion trend for mannequins -- from Merkin Apparel
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Everything on this 1991 Radio Shack advertisement you can now do on your phone. Please enter your phone number before reading the article
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Have you SEEN the president of Argentina? I don't mean that as in "Hey check out this hot milf," no one has seen her in over a month
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Woman leaves her two young children alone in 38 degree weather while she goes a) into the 7-11, b) to get her nails done, c) hog hunting
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Thinking about reheating that pizza? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Surfer Today)
 
 
 
After years of taking private companies public, SUN Microsystems co-founder and venture capitalist now wants to take a public beach private
source: surfertoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Unexpected benefit of banning smoking in jail "From our point of view, if a prisoner is concentrating on smuggling in tobacco other than ice or marijuana, that has got to be a good thing"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
'Mule Man' lives outdoors with his two pack animals in a Los Angeles suburb
source: lakeelsinore-wildomar.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 16, 2014
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
French drink more whiskey than Americans. Jim Beam surrenders
source: knowmore.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Scene)
 
 
 
Ohio car salesman sent to hospital after customer's pet spider monkey bites him
source: clevescene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Silicon Valley's arsonist/sex offender looks exactly like you would expect him to
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(El Pais)
 
 
 
Last year Spain became the first country in the world to get most of its electricity from wind. But our drinking water is combustible so we have that going for us
source: elpais.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
God's match for a 66-year-old woman on ChristianMingle.com turns out to be a Nigerian scammer who scammed her out of $500,000
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
West Virginia emergency officials: About those tanker trucks that were distributing clean water? Seems that maybe, possibly we filled them with water from the contaminated water plant. Was that wrong? Should we not have done that?
source: charlestondailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Admit it: You want to be a Bro, but you're worried that deep down you might just be a Douche. No worries, Bro, the BroBible will make clear the line *Brofist*
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
When they talk about spending more time with your children, they typically don't mean by having them help you beat the manager of the store you just robbed
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
PSA: Do not shave DAS AUTO into DAS HAIR
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Yea um... I'll have the number 1.... Yea super size it.... And a, ummm, Diet Coke
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Leak reveals that the NSA reads over 200 million text messages a day, nearly approaching the rate of the average teenage girl
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
In 1992, Nickelodeon buried a time capsule not to be opened until 2042. Let's cheat and see what's inside
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Your state is strapped for cash. Clearly, the correct solution is to spend $2.8 million on signs welcoming people visiting said state
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unhappy couple
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Smartphones keep getting smarter, but their users stay pretty much as dumb as they ever were
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Bad acid trip? Don't worry, there's a whole community of Internet strangers here to coach you through it
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
What medieval armor worn by women really looked like; Skyrim modders clutching their knees are disappointed
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
The smog situation in China is finally starting to clear up. Just kidding. They've resorted to playing sunrise on big TV screens so people can still see it
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Not News: US criticized for interfering on the world stage. Fark You Guys: For having the audacity to include openly gay people as part of the US delegation to the Olympics
source: cbsatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The good news is the wart on your finger is gone. The bad news is your hand is on fire
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Kitchn)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: What makes a good soup? Is your go-to soup hearty or lighter fare? Have a tried-and-true recipe or do you just use whatever's handy? Help keep us warm now and all year long with your recipes
source: thekitchn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Possible plea expected in hammer beating death. I expect it to be something to the effect of, "OUCH STOP HITTING ME WITH A HAMMER PLEASE"
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Smokers (and swallowers, I guess) rejoice. Apparently you can now wash your lungs
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsbreaker)
 
 
 
ORA.tv folks also have a news video show - I'm so dumb I didn't realize the presenter wasn't the same gal from the WTFark Pilot #3 earlier. This one's about gummy bear laxatives -Drew
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
For those of you that always wanted to be a Mermaid or Aquaman....here you go
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this majestic cock
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro US)
 
 
 
Environmental activist known as Reverend Billy, faces a year in prison for rioting. What did he and other protesters do? They dressed like frogs, danced and sang songs in front of JP Morgan Chase Bank to protest their stance on climate change
source: metro.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(homelife)
 
 
 
How to grow passionfruit, the ultimate defence against home invaders when bananas fail
source: homelife.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Drug companies won't let you use their products to execute people anymore, do you C) mix up your own brew and hope it doesn't leave people gasping and choking for 15 minutes before they die
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACEP)
 
 
 
Guess the grade of our nation's emergency departments? C) not C
source: emreportcard.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Doomsday Prepper should have prepared for PMITA, him being a convicted sex offender felon using his guns on the TV and whatnot
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida wants to raise the speeds from 70 to 75 mph on 4 lanes which is what most people drive anyway
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTFark)
 
 
 
Hey everyone - here's pilot #3 for a Fark video project (with Mike Phirman), let me know what you think -Drew
source: ora.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Statter 911)
 
 
 
Two classics melded into one. Meet the Boomerang Molotov Cocktail
source: statter911.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Latest invention set to snatch away market share? The Vagina Toaster
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Break-In thwarted when man pulls door marked 'Push'
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
We all have strange, forgotten things lurking in the back of our refrigerators. Hopefully, unlike this police department, that doesn't include untested rape kits from 2005
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JMU Breeze)
 
 
 
College students getting married earlier, thus moving average age of first divorce down to 24
source: breezejmu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If I've skimmed this editorial correctly, and I believe that I have, then Al-Queda is getting ready to open a bunch of Chick-fil-a restaurants
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
"Don't lie on your MBA application," says writer completely unfamiliar with the kinds of people who get MBAs
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
The US healthcare system may be screwed up, but at least our hospital computers don't send racist passwords to black patients
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After Freedom Industries' chemicals made half the state's water completely unusable, WV regulators decide it's probably good idea to do a few inspections at ALL their facilties, and shockingly, find tons of other chemical storage violations
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
When breast cancer and chemotherapy leaves you bald, what better way to pass the time while beating it than photographing yourself with your hair growing back day-by-day
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Why did 100 chickens cross the road in Ohio? To move into some dead guy's place on the other side and start terrorizing the street
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Jenna Jameson doll stolen in Florida. Cops say this case could really blow up
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pro tip: even if you're really hungry, don't just go to lunch, leaving your patient on the table with his heart hanging out
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
I'll have a big mac, large fries, a coke, and gimme one of those bags of heroin
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
Protip: Before carrying out your criminal master plan, learn to drive a stick
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Pregnant woman says she has developed a taste for eating the contents of baby's diapers, doesn't realize Taco Bell cornered the market on this years ago
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
CNN's president says MSNBC's bad programming choices hurt its brand, and if anyone knows about bad programming choices it's the president of CNN
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Montreal real estate market collapsing so quickly that this 'Al Louer' guy seems to own most of the Montreal buildings these days. His signs are just everywhere
source: marketwired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Street)
 
 
 
The Volcker Rule, intended to prevent banks from gambling with customers' money, is being weakened after banks complained they can't gamble with customers' money
source: business-news.thestreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
U.S mint wants you to have brown nickels to go along with your gold $1 coins
source: tech.fortune.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
And the number one state for foreclosures is...oh, you saw the tag already. DAMMIT
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman killed by bolt of lightning at Brazilian beach. This being the 21st century, someone caught it on camera (sfw)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Facing theft charges for shoplifting $2,500 of stuff from Macy's? Fake your death, get caught, go to court, and carve up your arms with a pen
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Call centers use artificial empathy program to determine a caller's mood and personality, enabling cable companies to tell whether a customer is angry, furious or just irate
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Dude, you need to blow more than a .12 to act like this
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Political Forum)
 
 
 
Living in a country run by the narco cartels and facing murder each day, devoutly Catholic Mexicans turn away from God and start to worship St. Death (pics)
source: internationalpoliticalforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Police say body of man washed up on beach matches description of man seen earlier walking into the sea, although witnesses indicate the man wasn't dead then
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists would like to remind you that WE ARE ALL 5 MINUTES FROM DOOOOOOM... still
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Finally somebody has filled that void in the literary universe and re-imagined 'Pride and Prejudice' from a cat's point of view
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Taking a page from TotalFark, Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki posts his Weapons Wish List just in case, you know, America feels like buying him anything
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Strangest crime involving mayonnaise you'll read about. Ever
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
If you're a politician forced to resign because of sexual harassment accusations, but continue to claim it was simply mutual banter, make sure there aren't any videos
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Most Washington DC residents are very sensitive about the height of their phallus and don't want anything built that might threaten it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Rats might be disgusting, disease-ridden vermin, but according to a new study they are also very social and possess a keen sense of empathy, which makes them quite similar to the Kardashian family
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Pro tip: don't take selfies of yourself and your partner getting frisky in your birthday suits with a stolen smart phone before disabling the automatic upload function of the camera
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The New York Times has has has mistakes on its front page every day for a century, unlike Fark, where mistakes ARE the front page
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Pimpin' ain't easy, especially when your client is a deranged lunatic running a hellhole so bad, it has its own classification of hellhole
source: live.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Half of U.S. counties haven't recovered from the recession. The other half are still waiting to get out of the depression
source: blogs.seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Penny stock Nestor (NEST) surges 1900% after confusion with the Google/Nest deal. Jordan Belfort pockets a quick $19 million
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Free tickets for concert to benefit November tornado victims have been scooped up by StubHub and other third-party scalpers. Some people have a problem with this
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you want to take pictures of smiling, happy babies rather than screaming sacks of meat in absorbant pants, tickle the infants lightly with a warm hair dryer (with photo evidence)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"I'm From West Virginia and I've Got Something to Say About the Chemical Spill." You WILL want to subscribe to Eric Waggoner's newsletter after reading this
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Officials bust yet another international pedophile ring. Notice anyone missing today?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
A looker, a shiner, and a punch in the nose (this week's mugshot roundup)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
34 Air Force officers in the nuclear force aim high, text each other answers on a proficiency test
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
It's been a year since the completion of Washington DC's Beltway Express Lanes project, which constructed miles of parallel asphalt for drivers willing to pay to use them. The verdict? Well, at least now something makes Obamacare's numbers look good
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Not everyone is impressed by the PR Pope. UN asks Vatican why it is still covering up child abuse
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Design the cover of the next best-selling conspiracy book
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The word 'news' has been so devalued and debased that a passed-out moron bent backwards on a toilet is now a breaking story (w/ pics of our little newsmaker here)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Beijing's air downgraded to "fluffy dirt"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guy Some)
 
 
 
Much like the Politics tab, babies fake the butthurt all the time
source: bps-research-digest.blogspot.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Adam Lanza called a radio station before the Newtown massacre. It's just as creepy as suspected
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It turns out there's a middle-eastern country with a stockpile of nukes that includes weapons-grade uranium stolen from a processing plant in Pennsylvania
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 21 News)
 
 
 
Good News: You can use your government-issued EBT card at Colorado marijuana stores. Bad News: You have a government-issued EBT card
source: fox21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Hershey's unveils their own answer to Nutella
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pope Francis sacks Cardinals, is immediately signed by St. Louis Rams
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
PROTIP: 'Pet rescue' does not involve throwing a rock through a pet store window
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
While your kid was playing with his toy trucks this Christmas, this kid was sorting shiat out under the UK government's Cobra Committee
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Here's a chart illustrating the healthy/ideal food intake for typical adult Americans compared to actual consumption covering just about every type of edible out there. Hmm. Oh LORD. Well... good job on the potatoes guys. We really nailed that one
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
You know what they say about men with big feet don't you? You don't? Maybe you should read some of my Bigfoot fanfic?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 454: "Nighty Night". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 15, 2014
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
What happens when a BBC Daily Politics show debate is interrupted by Queen's 1970s hit Fat Bottomed Girls? Hilarity
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Stupid: Taking a selfie. Stupider: Taking a selfie with the security camera of the house you're burglarizing. With deer in headlights pic
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad: Police find man too drunk to walk home. Good: They give him a lift home and leave him a note for when he sobers up. Fark: They sign it Cagney and Lacey
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
From the "Almost news, but isn't but really it is, but not" Department: Beef may or may not be getting more expensive
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Colorado airport employee takes a break from marveling at his collection of shampoo and pocket knife key-chains and realizes there's no reason to waste all that pot travelers throw away before passing through security
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Mother files human rights lawsuit because school won't accommodate her daughter's allergies. Fark: she wants the school to ban all milk and egg products. Super-Ponzi Bonus: school already bans nuts
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop this typical Russian soldier relaxing in the snow
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA El Paso)
 
 
 
Healthy 21-year-old movie theater concession stand worker dies of the flu. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man captures runaway bull with: A) red cape, B) sexy heifer, or C) vodak-soaked grain
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Navy F/A-18E crashes off the coast of Virginia Beach
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny state police question mom because her daughter looked. A) Malnourished B) Abused C) Cold
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
How to be French: eat cheese, arrive late, and cheat on your spouse
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
So you're standing in an Arby's bathroom stall during the dinner rush. You're covered in red dye, furiously trying to flush $5800 cash down the toilet and wondering why the hell you didn't check to see if the getaway car was working BEFORE the heist
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kickstarter)
 
 
 
Good news: Len Peralta, creator of the Geek A Week card set, is back with a Kickstarter to make a second set. Pledge as little as $5 to help him do it. Bonus: Drew is one of the honorees
source: kickstarter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Where does a man wearing woman's underwear busted for a driving infraction go for his bail money? Why, Big Johnson Bail Bonds, of course
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Research)
 
 
 
Federal judge rules that Monsanto can sue farmers for the wind
source: globalresearch.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Pentagon investigating Marines who prevented insurgents from returning as White Walkers
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Parkersburg News and Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you snatch a purse in a mall food court where 26 police officers are training, you're going to have a bad time
source: newsandsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Pardon me, but does this yogurt taste like tilapia to you?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PoliceOne)
 
 
 
What's an UFIA worth? In New Mexico, $1.6 million
source: policeone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
NJ courts declare all parents from '80s and earlier were child abusers
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
When it comes to maternity leave, the US is grouped with the coalition of the where the fark are these countries
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: Mississippi lawmaker proposes pants-on-head retarded gun law. News: This time it's a Democrat
source: mississippigunnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
McDonalds to stingy Korean pensioners: "You go now. You be here four hour"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Girl Scouts USA defends the sale of dozens of historic Girl scout Camps to developers saying that girls just aren't interested in camping anymore. Besides, every minute those loafers spend lounging in a tent is a minute they aren't selling cookies
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this amusing road sign
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
And how does that make you feel?
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
"Groh says his client is an experienced gunman who can 'shoot where he aims,' so there's a good reason no one was seriously hurt in the 2012 attacks." Oh, well, so it's all OK that he used cars on a freeway for target practice, then?
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medford Mail Tribune)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Drunk dialing your ex-girlfriend. New and fresh: Drunk driving your car into your ex-girlfriend's home
source: mailtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Betabeat)
 
 
 
Exactly what the NSA wants you to think
source: betabeat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
McDonald's isn't the reason why your kid is fat. You are
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A guide on how to talk to a woman without complimenting her hair or clothes. Uhhh...."nice ass?" Oh, hold on, it's a guide for women talking to other women. Uhhh..."do you like girls?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
President Obama announces he will consider taking military action in Congress if the fighting there continues to escalate
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Math proves your Facebook friends really are richer and happier than you. Thanks for nothing, math
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The pickup lines you're totally getting wrong, dude
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
How secure is our weapons-grade uranium complex in Knoxville, Tennessee? So secure that it was broken into by 83-year-old antiwar activist and nun Sister Megan Rice
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Kittens stage a 'break in' at upstate NY prison, overwhelm guards with....cuteness
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Only 27 percent of new parents are compulsive, self-absorbed attention whores
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
It was five years ago today that Capt. Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger III landed in the Hudson saving the lives of 155 passengers and crew, but since retiring he's taken up a new cause: Being an advocate for patient safety in America's hospitals
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The lawyer for the ex-cop who shot and killed a man in a Florida movie theater may use the Stand Your Ground defense because the victim "threw an unknown object" at the defendant. That "object?" It was likely popcorn
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Old & busted: Old man yelling at cloud. New: Old man shooting icicles off his house with handgun
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Woman dies peacefully at home, of cancer, after first throwing a goodbye party that lasted an entire month
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bad news for therapist.co.uk
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politics UK)
 
 
 
No-fault divorce makes splitting up too easy say judges, who want to hang a critical "bad-thinking" clause on at least one half of the couples and shame them for it
source: politics.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyFox Atlanta)
 
 
 
40,000 pounds of chicken attempt to cross Interstate 285, with obvious results
source: myfoxatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Deaf man beaten by cops for not listening
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
The city of Alexandria, VA is considering the repeal of an old law that forces it to name all North-South streets after racist traitors
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Worked in Broadcasting? Ever wonder how those idiots in sales ever sold anything? You were right
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Would-be carjacker takes water truck on police chase (and rocks impressive face tattoo)
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Mmm sugary and quite fizzy which settles into a vanilla, offset by the bitterness of caffeine with notes of nutmeg, lime and echos of cranberries
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Congratulations, North Dakota, on having the worst reproductive rights in the nation. Nice try, Mississippi, really good effort, maybe next year
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Whatever YOU consider a bad day at work probably doesn't involve being impaled by a long piece of rebar. Completely through your head. This guy's did, and he lived (pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Repair shop employee takes customer's car on a joyride and wrecks it twice. Repair shop: "Tough luck"
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Educational Credit Management Corporation: "So you finally got your student loans paid off, huh? Not so fast there, sparky"
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Drinking alcohol doesn't kill brain cells, but it does make them deaf to one another. "DRINK"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Chive)
 
 
 
Guy falls through the ceiling of a golf shop, acts completely casual about it. Unknown if he was carrying a poodle in one hand and a three-foot salami in the other
source: thechive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Canada: "Excuse me sir, there's a pipe bomb in your book bag." "Oh, there is? Sorry." "That's okay, sir. Enjoy your flight"
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Toronto District School Board experiments with "separate but equal". That's whack
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
What to look for in your cat's tail to see if she's expressing confidence and excitement or if she's so annoyed she'll claw your eyes out if you get too close
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these people performing a puffin survey
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Trust.org)
 
 
 
Poland announces its expeditiionary force of eight guys will be leaving Afghanistan not only sooner than planned but as soon as they can get on a plane
source: trust.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Planetary Society)
 
 
 
Congress finally does something right, not only restoring funding to NASA but scolding the space agency for raiding planetary science. Europa Clipper is go for science
source: planetary.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Finally, here are the actual 24 steps that one must go through in order to fall in love properly
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Proving he's a Catholic version of Hugh Hefner, Pope Francis invites heterosexual couples to come party at his pad on Valentine's Day
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
How the European Union has not brought Europeans together - they can't even agree how to say 'cat.' Here's a cool interactive map that shows how different countries pronounce the word and you can show off your shiny new knowledge on Caturday
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The NSA has secret chips inside at least 100,000 computers around the world that let it monitor everything the user does. They pinky swear that there are none in the US, though, so no worries
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston City Paper)
 
 
 
It's not a good idea to try and steal from a private investigator. They'll definitely notice if their almonds are missing
source: charlestoncitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
You may think that owning a stun gun is going to make it easier to win arguments with your wife, but you are wrong. Ask this idiot
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Battle between a squid and an owlfish caught on video. SyFy Channel already trying to buy the rights
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Man sues over laptop sold without a modem, wins £116,000. Apeals for more, loses everything. Next stop, Supreme Court for the last roll of the dice
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Bad: You're a city cop on a manhunt. The pressure has you feeling anxious and afraid. Good: The DA says you can pretty much shoot at anyone one you want without any repercussions
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You think you've got a tough job? At least you don't have to try and convince Americans to stop eating so much damn shrimp
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
You can now legally carry guns on colleges campuses across the already dangerous state of Florida
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
You might have too much time on your hands if you spend weeks tracking a grackle living inside a Walmart. "It's been gaining some weight. Definitely not a vegan"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Defectors are smuggling James Bond into North Korea on secret missions to destabilize the regime
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech and Gadget News)
 
 
 
In perhaps its dying gasp, PCWorld picks the most anticipated games of 2014, still anticipating titles on PCs or consoles while hopelessly denying the gathering Cloud storm
source: techandgadgetnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
"You know, sonny, when I was young, we didn't have all these mass shootings like you have today". Yeah, about that
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Parrot squeals on owner stopped at alcohol checkpoint, tells police "he's drunk"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Viral Nova)
 
 
 
The coolest thing ever was made by a janitor at a Japanese university. COOLEST EVER
source: viralnova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
A shark species that was thought to be extinct has been rediscovered... by accident in a Kuwait fish market
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
"Hi, I'm from the IRS. You owe $3,854, but send me that amount as pre-paid cards and I won't have you arrested, OK?"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you're missing your WWI Italian soldier these glacier explorers have some bad news for you
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scranton Times-Tribune)
 
 
 
Told by his doctor that he needs a liver transplant to survive, man goes to the bar with his wife looking for a threesome. Then things get weird
source: thetimes-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Marijuana farmer pro tip: Ask yourself if your growth operation is located in Colorado or Washington. If the answer is no to both, do not give "tours" of your crops on YouTube asking for donations
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Problem: high schools are under fire for low graduation rates. Solution: send the cheer squad and other athletes to an elementary school to show those snot-nosed little kids that high school isn't boring, and....legs. Lots of legs
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Supermarket runs ad to welcome back students to majority-black Howard University. Fark: Using a stock photo of a white woman
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
CCW holder decides to leave his gun locked up safely at home during trip to Maryland. That's an arrestin'
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 14, 2014
(Patheos)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Christian parents horrified their child embraces atheism. New hotness: Godless parents horrified their child becomes Christian
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Britain to put 1.5 million pages of soldiers' diaries from WWI online
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Pillow fort. New hotness: Colored ice fort
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Sign your life isn't going as planned: You're robbed at gunpoint during a drug deal. By teenagers. While practicing medieval sword-fighting in a Taco Bell parking lot
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Early Father of the year candidate throws 2-year-old son off a second-floor hotel balcony, then jumps himself
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man repeatedly confronted by police for public drunkenness. Problem: It's actually Huntington's disease
source: cbc.ca   |   share: