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Sun December 22, 2013
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
40 year old deaf and homeless man forced to repay $2,000 to the Homeless Recovery program after qualifying for disability. Did I say 40 year old man? I meant a 4 year old boy
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Is that a pair of surgical pliers doctors left in your womb after your Caesarian section two weeks ago or are you just happy to see me?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Every liquor store in Lilburn, Georgia is closed after being caught selling to underage customers. "I've been to three, and it's the weekend before Christmas holidays and it's not good my memaw needs to make her punch"
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Parents recreate famous movie scenes with their baby boy. AWWWWWWWW
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Epoch Times)
 
 
 
The profile of the California Megamillions jackpot winner as a "doll clothes collector" who vowed to use his newfound fortune to get Ted Cruz & his "amazing smirk" elected president...yeah, not so much
source: theepochtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Another Salvation Army kettle theft, this time in Pittsburgh where they took it a little further by claiming to be the next shift and stealing everything, including the aprons and tripod that holds the kettle up
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Iggy Pop action figure
source: thrauma.it   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Some previously uninsured people are shocked, SHOCKED, to find that having health insurance doesn't mean free healthcare
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Challenge de Fark: Could cocktails protect you from getting sick? Do your best work and report back here
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Homeless man and self-described "visionary space entrepreneur" sets fire to a church. Fark: He has a Master's in Space Technology from Florida Institute of Tech... oh, okay this story makes sense now
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man turns dead son into diamond. Boy, and here you thought YOUR dad gave you a lot of pressure
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Thief arrested for armed robbery caught because A) caught fleeing the scene, B) DNA evidence, C) left his wallet with ID at the crime scene
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Recent spike in liver injuries due to "it's safe because it's natural" herbal supplements
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Cracker Barrel puts their cheese back on the cracker
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Having difficulty finding that special gift for that special friend or relative? Well look no further. If it ain't in Pumblechook and Figg's mercantile catalog then it probably doesn't exist
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
So it turns out you CAN be fired for what you tweet when you're drunk
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
CIA kills FARC leaders, moderators on alert
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Retired Guy)
 
 
 
What's your work schedule for this week? Office/corporate/banking types, do you have more than one day off?
source: tripadvisor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Billionaire William Koch is outraged that he got duped by counterfeit wine makers. Subby will be sure to get him a nanoscopic violin and a box of Trader Joe's Block Red Shiraz for Christmas
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop these steamy drink servers
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grub Street)
 
 
 
How to properly drink with your family this Christmas
source: grubstreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
If you're the guy who took $1000 from a waitress who thought you had lost it, but it actually belonged to someone else, congratulations on getting in the running just under the wire for Douche of the Year
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Independent)
 
 
 
$70,000 reward to solve 10 yr old unusual murder in a small Connecticut town. Difficulty, police know who did it and where he lives
source: valley.newhavenindependent.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
Awesome time lapse video of the Milky Way from Mauna Kea Observatory in Hawaii. Bonus: frikkin' TELESCOPES with frikkin' "LASERS" attached to their frikkin' DOMES
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Icelanders upset that a new highway project could destroy precious habitats. Of elves. FARKIER: A majority of Iceland believes that elves exist
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Man trying to steal gloves from a store gets stopped by a clerk as he tries to make his escape, then pulls out a knife and a loaded gun. Well. That escalated quickly
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Known ways for husbands and wives to bond: movies, golf, running a multi-state dog-fighting operation, dancing, etc. Tag is for the idea of golfing with your wife
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Homeland Security raids a strip club in search of... unlicensed Red Sox and Patriots gear. I guess all the terrorists are dead
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Three-hour lockdown at high school caused by a.) guns, b.) bombs, or c.) an auto-corrected text message?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Yet another "scientific" news report tackles the question of how many calories do you really burn during sex, and again fails to take into account subby swapping hands for variety. That's at least an additional 20 calories
source: live.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
PETA decides to stage a protest at SeaWorld after realizing everyone is up in arms over the CNN special Blackfish and, for once, may actually tolerate their idiotic self-righteousness
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania girl dying of rare form of leukemia gets some well-wishers to sing Christmas carols to her. And by "some" we mean about five thousand of them. Sure is dusty in West Reading these days
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Best place to detonate a car bomb: near a crowd of people, such as a market, a large government building, or a crowded police checkpoint where vehicles get searched for bombs
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mashable)
 
 
 
It has come to this: TIME has announced their "Instagram Photographer of the Year". Bonus: An Associated Press photographer. Double Bonus: Stationed in Best Korea
source: mashable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Vero)
 
 
 
.40-caliber Glock handgun passes the "can it shoot through 3 walls" test
source: insidevero.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
SCHAFT wins DARPA challenge, can you dig it?
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Four gay black guys dress up in revealing Santa outfits and performed in an Alabama Christmas parade, thrusting their hips at spectators. Go on, guess what happened
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sweet pool of sign language interpreters
source: 24.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
And so it begins. Woman files $5M suit against Target
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The real explanation of Santa and the red nosed reindeer. And yes it involves mushrooms. Why do you ask?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you're a politician it's a good idea to avoid talking to any female staffers about a tattoo on your penis
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Man generously donates -$469 to panhandler
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A woman dying of cancer writes a letter secretly and gives it to a friend to mail when her husband finds love again. Two years later the letter is mailed to a radio station and then it gets really dusty
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Gen. Eisenhower passes away; this is not a repeat from 1969
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Patients may have been exposed to HIV during prostate exams, should've known by feeling both hands on their shoulders
source: blogs.seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
I went to a biker brawl and a play broke out during the second act...wait, scratch that, reverse it
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
What are you looking at, son? It's the Naughty or Nice edition of The Mugshot Roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Hawk iced fierce
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Ahh the holidays... The time of year when you end up beating your wife with a rifle in the front yard and getting in a standoff with the police, SWAT team and bomb squad
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
"The basic gist is that if you want to have marijuana out at a party, you should treat it just like you would cocktails or anything else you are offering at your event: Display stylishly, fit with your theme, and make it available for all"
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Sun)
 
 
 
Two men held a woman hostage, tied her to a chair, shaved parts of her head, threatened to kill her and forced her to take pills and drink alcohol demanding she have someone bring them: A) Money B) Drugs or C) a Playstation
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
No wonder he kept asking to leave class to go to the guidance office
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Cop repeatedly texts a 12-year-old girl asking her for sex. Using a town-issued cell phone. While he's on duty. And drunk
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Live from almost the North Pole: Livingston Stapler Co. presents. Two hours of yuletide audio goodness
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Doctors perform emergency C-section on an apparently expectant mother only to find ... no baby at all. Just a womb with a view
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Paranoid and rich? Have I got a deal for you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
I'll see your gold coin dropped into a Salvation Army kettle and raise you with a $3,500 diamond ring
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 21, 2013
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Drug free school zones. New Hotness: Rape free school zones. They're about as equally effective
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
"Names can influence choice of profession, where we live, whom we marry, the grades we earn, the stocks we invest in, whether we're accepted to a school or are hired for a particular job, and the quality of our work in a group setting"
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Arapahoe High School shooting victim Claire Davis has passed away
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Gallant always returns his empty glass to the bar. Goofus notices this and fines the pub for using 'undeclared labor'
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
This is Amurica, dammit. We ain't got no time for none o' that gobbledygook nonsense from them dadblamed scientific fellers
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop the King of the Wild Things
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Want to know what it's like to be a 19-year-old virgin doing her internship at Penthouse magazine? Wonder no more
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOAT Albuquerque)
 
 
 
New Mexico Supreme Court: Legalizing same-sex marriage affects everyone in the state. Navajo Nation: How?
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
After 63 years, Korean War MIA Joseph Gantt's remains return home. His 94-year old widow, who never re-married, greets his coffin, rises from her wheelchair. LAX is dusty
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Philly)
 
 
 
Have you ever wanted to own a vintage diner? Well if you can pay to move it you can have it for the low, low price of $0
source: myfoxphilly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Krebs On Security)
 
 
 
Old and busted: ATM skimmers. New hotness: Fake ATMs
source: krebsonsecurity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A&E now employing radio silence on Duck Dynasty and are hoping the shiatstorm A&E started fades away over the holidays
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tinypic)
 
 
 
BREAKING NEWS: Fark labor dispute looms
source: oi41.tinypic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DW Akademie)
 
 
 
U.S. sneaks into German apartment of Snowden's buddy, Appelbaum, and looks for stuff. Reminding us that you hardly noticed your toilet paper roll holder is now a listening device and your cat has a weird eye now
source: dw.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Woman who manipulated her 10-year-old son into killing his dad gets sentenced to life in prison, becomes instant finalist for the Worst Human Being Ever award
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
France implants first artificial heart. Subby is split on "Welcome to 1983" and "See, socialism has a heart now" jokes
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Change one letter in the title of a famous movie and create a poster for it
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Couple leaves their wedding for their reception in style: by taking a ride inside the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Alligators are becoming the new pit bulls
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Observer)
 
 
 
Micro-Apartments could be hazardous to your mental health / sex life
source: observer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVAL Eugene)
 
 
 
After smoking hot teen dies from huffing, authorities publicize warning signs: gold paint around mouth, warriors T-shirt
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
America's favorite sheriff loses yet another lawsuit over false arrests, to the tune of $3.75 million. For those keeping track at home, Maricopa County has had to pay out nearly $17 million since Joe took office
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Remember the woman who said her 396th arrest was a wake-up call, and promised to turn things around? Well, about that
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Some people seem to think meat should be taxed at a higher rate to combat global warming. Subby on the other hand thinks it's not warm enough yet to pry his steak knife from his cold dead hands
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The brains of girls mature faster than the brains of boys, claims new study from the Romero Institute
source: healthland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Fire Marshal tells businesses they can't hold holiday parties because of city's 'public dance hall' ordinance banning dancing without a permit, then bills them for inspection. Kevin Bacon has a problem with this
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Not News: Woman arrested for DUI. News: Woman who she calls to pick her up arrested for DUI. Fark: Man who they both call to pick them up arrested for DUI
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New Jersey sets all-time high carjacking record in 2013. Apparently, IROC Z28s with T-Tops are really in demand
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
The earth hungers for more, starts swallowing up the most tasty state again
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Marijuana just had like the best year ever, man
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Nope
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Since the ban on large sodas went over so smoothly, New York City is now set to ban Styrofoam cups
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The world's first Christmas card was sent by Sir Henry Cole in 1843. No witty headline, just a random piece of trivia that might help you get laid at a holiday party this weekend
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
There are Purity Balls for teenage boys and ten other things you probably didn't know about virginity culture. Things the article writer missed to the right
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
It's come to this: Community groups are demanding jail time for people who allow mosquitoes to breed at their homes
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
"I was gonna be this good example for girls that you can do whatever you want and stay modest and all that kind of stuff, but I quickly found out that the industry wasn't interested in celebrating someone's standards in that sense"
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Canada turns 150 in 2017, and the search for a logo is on. Fark can do better, eh?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
The Salinas, California Police Department Swat Team just got a 37,000-pound armored truck that has rocket-propelled grenades and was used in Iraq and Afghanistan. For free, thanks to the 1033 Program
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Empire State Building's lighting crew finally gets into the Christmas spirit and sparkles up the big town in a blaze of red, white and green LED lights for the first time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
United States Justice Department (Hollywood division) still working to prosecute Kim Dotcom for using the Internet as it was intended to be used
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Good: Cat nurses 1 day old puppy of an abused dog back to health. Better: Story wins the non-profit shelter a $25,000 grant. Best: All of the animals involved - including the neglected mama dog - have been adopted in time for Caturday
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Everything you know about mass murder is wrong
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smoking hot 42-year-old former face model says she will NEVER have Botox, stays looking youthful by using a combination of soap, water and Vaseline (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Citizens Voice)
 
 
 
Yet another male teenager's right-hand becomes sore from the numerous high-fives offered by his fellow students
source: citizensvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Botched vasectomy left Reno shooter so weak he could barely leave bed, move. Not so weak that he couldn't shoot a doctor
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Babysitter with brass balls confronts would be robbers and scares them away, remains cool enough to give cops a good vehicle description which leads to 2 of the 3 being caught. Will get a sweet babysitting bonus
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Spare tire ✔ Jack ✔ Blanket ✔ Toolbox ✔ Jumper cables ✔ First aid kit ✔ Road flares ✔ Dead body ✔
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
What porn stars do when the porn industry shuts down. Hint: It's still not you
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man gets bright idea to design video game for girlfriend to ask for her hand in marriage by a pixellated knight. Lucky for him she said yes or it would have been Cheetos 24/7 for him in his mom's basement
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Vienna Philharmonic strips six Nazis of honors awarded during World War II. Cue sad trombone
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your contract with a new employer requires that you have sex with him at least four times a month, you might want to at least negotiate for a higher salary
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 20, 2013
(Slate)
 
 
 
Coca-Cola's film about their pop-shilling polar bears might be adorable, but it gets bear biology all wrong. Because when you think of accurate science, you think about pop and polar bears
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
More and more Americans are shopping naked. This is exactly why sane people don't shop at Wal-Mart
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Not news: Local woman bakes cookies for neighborhood kids. News: Every week for past 15 years. Fark: Officials send cease and desist letter demanding she stop
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Former Philadelphia Eagle cheerleader now serving on the frontlines as an Army Intelligence officer in Afghanistan, says seeing combat is less stressful than watching Michael Vick throw pick 6s
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Lady tweets, "Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white." Did I mention that she is (or was) the corporate communications director for a powerful internet company?
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
More and more DEA agents who made careers out of busting up drug operations are now working as financial advisers for people thinking about investing in the legal marijuana industry
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dragonfruit
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
D.C. Officer tries to kill wife with a) knives b) lampost c) Lysol? Hint: He fails miserably and is found muttering something about kryptonite
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Dallas)
 
 
 
Target apologizing for data breach so they offer a 10% discount this weekend so you can experience it all over again
source: myfoxdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
At least 12 bald eagles in Utah have died from a mystery illness that absolutely nobody will claim is God's response to today's gay marriage ruling
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
For the first time in 123 years, two women can be part of the same marriage in Utah
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Civilian police review board to discipline cop who arrested man for being a "smart ass." New legal precedent allows Farkers to breathe easy
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JMU Breeze)
 
 
 
"What are we doing with our lives?" asks exasperated snowflake. Was she a) working two jobs to make ends meet, b) wondering how to pay her bills, or c) studying for exams?
source: breezejmu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: You know what we need? Cake. Single sheet or stacked high. Filling? Frosting? Decorated? Does it even matter? Do you have a favored box mix or build yours from scratch? What makes your cakes special? Delight us to the right
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Good: You see an 18-pound lobster. Bad: It's too big for you to grab. Good(?): It's big enough to grab you, and dumb enough to hang on while you get back to shore
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Titty-twisting Tuesdays" and "slap-ass Fridays" when girls had their breasts and butt grabbed. Native American students referred to as "goats" "sheep" and "wild Indians." Telling the class "black people get bored easily." Welcome to Fark High School
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Pope Francis caps Fark Holy Week with his fifth straight headline. This time, he issues a video statement praising global recycling efforts, and slamming a "throw-away culture"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Teens doing DIY plastic surgery? What could possibly go wrong?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old fashioned tricycle
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
"Police arrest shirtless man for walking, dancing on frozen river." Spoilsports
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and Wordplay headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
News: Recess cancelled after suspicious man spotted outside school. FARK: School cancels recess after Santa spotted outside waving at students
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Santa Claus is a fat, elf-abusing, wormhole-using tyrant. Merry Farking Christmas
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Dastardly: breaking into a soccer coach's home and stealing electronics. Noble: giving the police the videotapes of him abusing kids
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Irish high court told woman with multiple sclerosis in April that she had no constitutional right to die. Well, she showed them
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Normally, we do as we're told by the government and say OK, but now it's time to take a stand. Enough is enough." This is in response to: C. Government plans to limit cinnamon in kanelsnegle, the national pastry of Denmark
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Life can be pretty funny. One day you're a star in the NBA, and the next thing you know you're waxing floors in Tulsa and getting arrested for retail theft
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
Relax Community fans ...... Scientists believe death could be reversible
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Russia grounds Tatarstan Airlines until it proves that its pilots got their licenses from somewhere other than a box of Captain Crunchovich and know the difference between "descent for landing" and "nosedive"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Oh, the porns that we porned
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Finally, a flowchart for you indecisive nitwits out there to decide on which movie to watch. Now stop asking TotalFark to make your decisions for you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Had things gone a little differently in Congress in 1910, we might all be eating tasty hippo bacon right now
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Man, I'm running late to the county jail to administer a drug test, I guess I can stop at Starbucks, what's the worst that could happen?
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
After a brief hiatus, the Fark Weird News Quiz is back, baby
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Headline: young man with Down Syndrome, gets his college acceptance letter. Reality: to an institute designed for students with disabilities, called Clemson University
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
So the plan really was to get people hooked on Obamacare
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
This article has everything: illegal searches, forced anal probing, the victim being sent a bill, and a talking dog. Wait, what?
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
This clunker comes "fully loaded loaded with an engine, wheels, tires and an automatic transmission" and can get you from point A to B "most of the time." Nissan USA: we'll take it
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Theater whose ceiling collapsed is temporarily closed. Experts say the ceiling structure is now sound, as it is being fully supported by the floor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
The best masturbation joke you'll read all week
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Christmas shopping in Canada just got a whole lot more interesting thanks to the Canadian Supreme Court
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
You are rebuilding your house after Katrina hit. Do you: A) Get all the permits? B) Enlist volunteers to help out? C) Watch the city bulldoze it days before Christmas? D) All of the above?
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
"Siri, tell me about Blackberry" *bing-bing* "Sit down and grab a drink; You're going to need it"
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Drug court judge acts erratically in courtroom, sends herself to rehab
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Post)
 
 
 
So you can now watch young Korean people eat their dinner. Streaming. For hours
source: globalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KLTV Tyler)
 
 
 
Little girl releases balloon to heaven with note for dead grandma. And then it gets really dusty in here
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Pope is trolling Rush Limbaugh and Sarah Palin again
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Google and CBS mistake clean-cut pop star for paedophile rock star. Beliebers UNITE
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
If your protest in the Capitol District involves glitter, the odds are never in your favor
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has had Sarah Palin & Bobby Jindal rush to his aid in the wake of his suspension from A&E and the list of Republican names is growing. In an appearance yesterday, Newt Gingrich likened Robertson to ... Pope Francis
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
You never know what kinds of interesting reading material you'll find in the Library of Congress, like perhaps a super secret interrogation manual from the FBI that contains no redactions
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
The new Scarlet Letter: Man's sign reads, "I BEAT WOMEN,. HONK IF I'M A SCUMBAG," Hey, it's a get outta jail sign
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald News)
 
 
 
Man comes home to find a burglar ransacking the place and, well, the burglar's mugshot speaks for itself. Tag is for the homeowner
source: heraldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Anti-drunk-driving ad features Robocop. Would've been better if it featured ED-209
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"Please, sir, I want some more." "No, you're fat enough"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
♪ Oklahoma where the pills comes sweeping down the plain ♪
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you want to see how America rebuilds her cities, take a look at Christie's auction catalog of artwork from Detroit's Institute of Arts. Looting museums is apparently more profitable than stealing copper
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Iowa City offering citizen's Police Academy. Doesn't this end with Steve Gutenberg saving the mayor from would-be kidnappers?
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Dennis Rodman holds trials in North Korea. Basketball trials that is. Losers to be executed
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Shopping in the store is just as risky as shopping online," reports special NPR correspondent Ric Romero
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop Magnum PI's little girl, horsing around
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida Panhandle grave robbers accused of stealing their own burial plots. One solution? Dig 'em up
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Tis the season to spread holiday cheer, but police have a problem with the "Green Santa". Bonus: article's author must have already got their present
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Foreign-born Swedes join Swedish anti-immigration party
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
How is he going to get to every house in the world now? Due to fears he might fall over and hurt himself Santa isn't allowed to ride in his sleigh this year - so is walking instead
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Whatever
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
SeaWorld finally fighting back against CNN's Blackfish documentary, several months and lots of bad press after it would have mattered
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The People's Republic of New York City bans E-Cigs in all public places. You are safe now, citizen - this deadly menace has been stopped cold
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Unusual: "Welfare Queen" was not coined by Reagan. More Unusual: It was coined by the Chicago Tribune. Fark: She existed, and welfare fraud was the least of her crimes
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Having solved all other problems like crime, affordable housing and transportation, New York starts fight with Norway about who has the largest gingerbread village
source: thelocal.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Tsar Putin I, The Merciful, pardons longtime prisoner of conscience, Mikhail Khodorkovsky
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Elderly couple give their dogs to an animal shelter because they can't handle them anymore. Forty-five Chihuahuas can be a handful
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Help NYC 911? There's actors with guns, the streets are decked out with flood lights and camera rigs. And... and the actors are being shot by the film crews... with cameras
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The perfect job for the professional student
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Why did God make hedgehogs so damn adorable?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"No one alive knows what Jesus looked like"
source: swampland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Navy has had it with asshats lighting up their planes with laser pointers, put Agent Gibbs on the case
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Best Korea acquires fax machine technology
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
So are elves impish spies that sit on shelves. Or are they noble warriors living in Middle Earth? Or are they bearded, blue-clad helpers that brush reindeer teeth?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Daycare bus driver throws an alcohol bottle at a six-year-old boy to 'get his attention', leaving him with a swollen and bloody lip. Then tried to bribe him with soda and beef jerky. You're reading this on Fark so you can guess how that worked out
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
If you're going to put a mannequin in your passenger seat so you can drive in Seattle's HOV lanes, it better damn well be dressed as a Seahawks fan
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Let's take all of the religious words out of one of the most famous Christmas songs of all time. Surely no one will notice
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Man thought to be 1972 victim of serial killer John Wayne Gacy turns up alive and well living in Montana, which is almost as bad
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Catholic high school vice-principal fired for marrying his same-sex partner. Students respond with the usual indifference of youth...wait, no, they staged a school-wide walkout in solidarity with the VP. Tag is for the students
source: blogs.seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
A high school fires two longtime cheer coaches because: A) of inappropriate contact with the cheerleaders? B) Failed drug tests? or C) They turned the cheerleaders in to 'mean girls'
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Facebook is good for something. It lets you know your son has died
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Woman arrested at chicken coop offers sexual favors to officers, looks just like woman who would offer sexual favors to officers when arrested at chicken coop
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Shoot, the fella who used to command the Air Force's arsenal of ballistic missiles was fired for having a pretty good weekend in Russia
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 19, 2013
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Flight delayed two hours because of a) extreme weather, b) aircraft maintenance problems, or c) pilot waiting for his sandwich to be delivered
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ethicist says helping five-year-old Batkid is the wrong thing to do. Ethicist is a jerk
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Sure, why not? I mean, if you're a fan of a vile child raper, you might as well get a tattoo of his mugshot, too. Mega lolz
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Even dogs have kinky fetishes with women's panties, go figure
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Lamb doesn't let being born without front legs get its goat
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Pastor for Christian megachurch died from A) heart attack; B) stroke; C) overdose of heroin and cocaine
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme REloaded: Misquoted or Literally Taken Christmas Song Titles. LGT inspiration
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
It's especially nice to know your online secret Santa program paired you with none other than the second richest person in the world, Bill Gates
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
After years of being discriminated against by heterosexuals for being gay, gay people are now firing and discriminating against heterosexuals for being "too straight"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
New Mexico decides to come out in favor of gay marriage, Old Mexico loudly declares it has no son
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Hmm -- humorous layout goofs: funny, funny, funny ... #16: HOLY FREAKING SHIAT
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Brian Boitano announce he's gay. Subby's just as stunned as you are, I thought he came out years ago
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
"Teaneck police arrest 4, including blind man, in shortsighted armed robbery scheme"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Break a leg and a bunch of arms, hands, feet and such
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Good news: alcohol can prevent the common cold. Bad news: you have to stick to light beer
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
There are some things "I'm sorry" just won't fix
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop these lovely bunch of coconuts
source: 4.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest: Context headlines (symbols / characters)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest: Context headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Delhi TV)
 
 
 
Indian woman sponsors billboard honoring Nelson Mandela, mistakenly uses photograph of God
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
The worst part about going to a random house party is that the beer pong ball may roll into a pool of blood left by the host's dead parents, whom he murdered with a hammer
source: rollingstone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Only one child born in a North Korean prison camp has ever escaped to the West. Here is that child's open letter to Dennis Rodman, in advance of Rodman's latest visit to North Korea. 소유되는
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
15 ways to instantly upgrade your Hot Cocoa Sampler Box
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Introducing "The Good Night" ring that claims it is guaranteed to stop snoring, not to be confused with the wedding ring which is guaranteed to stop sex
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Researchers soon to discover "no more woof" technology that will translate your dog's thoughts into human language. First translated thought sure to be "No more woof. Really? That is the best you could come up with?"
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Pope Francis continues his bid for five straight days of Fark headlines by slamming Prosperity Gospel preachers as 'pagans'
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Sporting success shown to affect birth rates, so keep that in mind next time you want to spike the ball in the end zone
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Not News: Affordable low-income apartments built for working poor Fark: Affordable = $1,569/mo and low income = less than $63,300 a year
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
In the coming robot apocalypse, human surgeons will get to keep their jobs
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DC 101)
 
 
 
Just a reminder that there are actual free speech stories out there and they don't involve ducks or beards
source: dc101.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
There's being a tough guy, then there's being a "kill three guys while protecting your troops, and then after running out of ammo, taking an enemy's machine gun and bludgeoning him to death with it" tough guy
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In case you missed it, the Senate did a secret Santa exchange again this year. Joe Donnelly got a hand drawn map of the U.S. Joe Manchin got a bottle of single-malt whiskey and Marco Rubio got a bunch of coal
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Let's look at James Madison's writing to learn what he thought of the NSA. *gets out James Madison's writing* Ah, here we go..."I have never heard of the NSA, because it does not exist during the time in which I live." Fascinating
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MIT)
 
 
 
Are Santa's reindeer used for propulsion or navigation?
source: alum.mit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You know DARPA, why do we even BOTHER to write dystopian future sci-fi, if you are just going to go ahead and do stuff like this anyway?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Besides WalMart, the KKK and Honey Boo Boo, what has the South ever given to us? Sh*tty drivers?
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Discovery of 'Teen Gene' Could Hold Promise for Combating Severe Mental Illnesses, confirm parental fears that their teenager is crazy as crazy ants crazy glued to a crazy quilt. Crazy, man
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Stanford Ph.D becomes a fruit picker, proving that degrees really mean very little nowadays
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
It's difficult to believe the architects of 1940s NHS would have foreseen it paying for sex-change operations or that interracial marriage would be legal
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
In 2013, US executions dropped to their lowest rate in 20 years. What's the matter, Texas? Step it up, you pansies
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Father of murdered soldier lashes out at the Religion of Peace™. Just kidding, he says the murderers were "just using Islam as an excuse"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Buy new car, park it on slope above highway, forget handbrake, guess what happens
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Lifespan of people with AIDS approaching that of general American population. Or lifespan of American population appraches AIDS patients thanks to obesity, hypertension, smoking, drinking, diabetes, lack of exercise, alcohol and eight guns per person
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
There can only be one idiot arrested today in NH for attacking a woman with a sword
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Target: "Thieves got names, numbers, expiration dates, even three-digit security codes; but it happened in stores, where security codes aren't even used; and it involved swipe machine tampering, but somehow netted 40 million cards"
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
Teachers stop runaway school bus during class field trip
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kingston Whig)
 
 
 
Crane operator rescued by helicopter from raging construction site fire decides he's too old for that sh*t
source: thewhig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
♫ It's the most wonderful time of the year...with water mains blowing and cold water flowing and flooding severe ♪
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gulf News)
 
 
 
Indian diplomat who was caught paying her maid below the minimum wage: "The maid was trying to blackmail me" Asking for minimum wage isn't really blackmail, but what would you like me to play on this tiny violin?
source: gulfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London 24)
 
 
 
Guess how many people get themselves locked in the toilet each year and have to call the Fire Brigade? Hint: A lot
source: london24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bayou Buzz)
 
 
 
Charity sells raffle tickets to win a $1 million Picasso painting. Buyers immediately complain that the numbers on the tickets are illegible, fragmented, left to the purchaser's interpretation
source: bayoubuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Vandals do their best to disrupt Saturnalia celebrations. This is not a repeat from 455
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Detroit)
 
 
 
PETA gives fur coats to Detroit homeless so they can splatter red paint on them at a later date
source: detroit.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Man arrested for domestic abuse for the fourth time, wife says he's really a sweet guy down inside. Fark: "Angelia and Derrick met in 2006 at a mental ward." With full psycho mugshot
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Nazi secret weapons that were developed while Hitler was busy with his rant videos
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weather Underground)
 
 
 
November was the warmest on record and the 345th month in a row of above average temperatures
source: wunderground.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Statistics from the U.S. copyright office tell us which Christmas songs are the biggest, can't explain why people STILL play "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" every year
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wet elf
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Ahhh, winter in New England. A chill is in the air, the snow is flying, and Boston residents are beating the snot out of each other over shoveled parking spots
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
What's the difference between a ridiculously expensive and old bottle of wine and a cheap one? The fake label and "the aroma of canned asparagus"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
The Florida Capitol has displays honoring Festivus, the Nativity, atheism, and even the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but not Satanists; shockingly, their proposed display was "grossly offensive"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Druids protesting Stonehenge revamp. David St. Hubbins in total agreement
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Times are changing in Kentucky. Son in jail after slapping mom around with his peen
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
In his last speech as mayor, Bloomberg explains that there is no wealth inequality in New York because the poor have air conditioning and cars. Refrigerators too, presumably, although those weren't mentioned
source: msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Bus hits taxi, slams into building in Newark, injuring 10 and boosting housing prices by 10%
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Ummmm... Captain? We're going to need a bigger tourist boat because one of Earth's largest mammals is right beneath us"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
After accidentally firing two shots into a neighbor's home, should you: a) apologize, b) offer to repair all damage, or c) yell "I can do anything I want on my property" and fire three more rounds?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Texas judge allows for warrants based on "prediction of future crime." In other news, being black in Texas is now a predictor of future crime
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Worried that hackers might be spying on you through your laptop camera doing god-knows-what, but comforted by the fact that the little blue light will warn you of being recorded? Well, stop being comfortable. And for god's sake, stop doing that
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bloomberg News gives their support to FARK's Business Headline of the Year contest and cites one of their favorite (last section)
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New Mexico teacher placed on paid leave after telling black student that Santa is white. School confirms that the teacher could be fired, reinstated or hired by Fox News
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Only half of Americans think Christmas is a religious holiday, and the number is that high only because half of that number think shopping is a religion
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
In the UK, Christmas is a time for friends, family, and downing 18lbs of fried food in 26 minutes
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're caught driving down a 60mph highway totally naked and playing with your personal joystick, the excuse that you had just "gotten carried away" while text messaging probably isn't going to fly
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Women protest forced marriages to Tim Tebow
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Is your ADHD kid in trouble at school for pulling a lot of boners? It could be the Ritalin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Eight- and nine-year-old kids start a band and release a album with all proceeds going to help their friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. Selling their album for $5 they've already made more than $1,200. Who keeps kicking up the dust in here?
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
France's linguistic police decree new Gallic interpretation of word for 'sexting': 'Il m'a envoyé un texto pornographique.' Kinda just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News Insider)
 
 
 
After a bear mauls a girl, PETA sends a letter explaining her burden to bear
source: foxnewsinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Father of the year arrested on charges of possession of child pornography after he texted lewd, lascivious images of child porn to the wrong person
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
You Can't Handle the Truth: Reddit goes full ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓, bans ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ ▓ from global warming skeptics
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fairfax, Virginia wants to surgically sterilize all of its does, its deer, its female deer
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
One of the deadliest creatures in the ocean turns out to be: C) Seahorse
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
1995 Newsweek article scoffs at the internet, predicting no one will read newspapers or buy airline tickets online. Fark: it's still on their website
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the German cake that's stollen Christmas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How pretentious are rich people in Manhattan about selling apartments? Just undo the bow on the present
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Teenage boy uses coupons to buy $936 worth of food for 6 cents, just to give all the food he bought to needy families
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 450: "Hit Me With Your Best Shot". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 18, 2013
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Major new study dismisses whole idea that second-hand smoke can give you cancer. "It is a blatant and scientifically demonstrable lie spread by the Nanny State and its findings will come as no surprise to anyone with a shred of scientific integrity"
source: blogs.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Guy rips off Florida investment group for $800,000 with his fake Dr. McCoy medical tricorder. Harcourt Fenton Mudd unavailable for comment
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study finds Washington state's residents consumed close to 175 metric tons of pot this year. Whoa, dude
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
If you were at a Chase Bank in downtown Houston at 11:40-11:50am Houston police would like to talk to you to see if you noticed a man robbing the bank as most people inside the bank were paying attention to a choir performance in the lobby
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
If your 15-year-old is being bullied by classmates, should you a.) speak to administrators, b.) teach him to defend himself, or c.) suggest that he shoot up the school? (With mugshot goodness)
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Apparently, the media really wants people to know how to properly make anonymous bomb threats. The more you know
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
A new idea being batted around for new stay at home moms...the postnup agreement. The tag says it all
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's that time of year again. How much should you tip the garbage man, the paper boy, the cleaning girls, the janitors at work, Concetta from the outcall massage parlor?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bold bird
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
SeaWorld: Our killer whales are fine. Have a Groupon (Hey, it works for Walmart...)
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
There are going to be some pissed off people in Atlanta
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadians more interested in sleeping than partying
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News Insider)
 
 
 
I hate religion and I hate Christmas and I hate your house and I hate your decorations and they're tacky and kitsch and I hate your flagrant display of your beliefs all up in my grill. Love, anonymous
source: foxnewsinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
440-lb virgin has sex for the first time with his 110-lb girlfriend. With predictable results
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Nothing in life is more certain than death, taxes and annual beer price hikes
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
The reason Disneyland got rid of the Skyway ride that transported people from Tomorrowland to Fantasyland was because too many guests were getting busy in the sky buckets
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Leonardo Da Vinci's "Last Supper" perfectly recreated by Muslim group to promote religious unity
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
All men really want for Christmas is some pickle lip balm and Ranch-flavored dental floss
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
A pair of ugly-ass tiny pygmy marmosets born at the Belfast Zoo
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science News Magazine)
 
 
 
New species of ugly-ass tapir found in the Amazon. With ugly-ass pic
source: sciencenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pink Portuguese man-of-war
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2013 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro US)
 
 
 
Geeesh.. some people are never satisfied with just catching one baby from a burning building
source: metro.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Police are looking for help in identifying man who brutally assaulted innocent parking lot attendant while arguing with his girlfriend. (W/ video)
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
OK, let's settle this whole "Santa is white" thing once and for all by going back to the halcyon days of Reagan in the White House to see Nancy Reagan posing beside...OH MY GOD
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
You know who loves them boobies? The pope
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This guy thinks he knows why Francis continues to beat the bishop(s)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Wildlife officials: Seriously, THIS is the bear that mauled a woman and her dogs. Sorry about all those other bears we were killing in the meantime
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Shia LaBeouf now discovered plagiarizing Charles Bukowski, Benoît Duteurtre, Tiger Woods, and Robert McNamara, will come full circle to copying himself sooner or later
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ted Cruz coloring book makes Amazon's best seller list, is predicted to go higher once Cruz actually finishes coloring in all the pages
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLOS 13 Asheville)
 
 
 
South Carolina man unclear on the concept of dog walking
source: wlos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Think)
 
 
 
The future of sex is buried in the sock drawer. Not to be confused with subby's present sex life, which is also found in the sock drawer
source: bigthink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canton Repository)
 
 
 
Kmart loss prevention manager arrested for stealing games from his store and selling them to Game Stop. Grinchy
source: cantonrep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
Man challenges NYPD to a diaper fight
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
North Korea denies that Kim Jong Un has had his hottie wife executed for treason
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
"Here is what the song makes clear: Donner, Prancer, Blitzen and the gang are assholes"
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
If she had been able to type fast enough, a young woman's Facebook status update would have read "I am falling off a pier"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Broward County puts an end to the practice of cow rental. In other news, you could rent cows in Florida
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Slideshow of reader's pics, but totally worth it for #9 "Ghostbird"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
What in hell is the appeal of Candy Crush Saga, explained
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Wave of Irish immigrants face hardships getting green cards, this is not a repeat from 1910
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
What would happen if our military had an actual real "War on Christmas"?
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Finally confirmed after all these years: hot weather makes you violent and fat, always a winning combination
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Yesterday we ran all the Headline of the Year contests for the tabs--here they are if you missed them. Headline of the Year (main page) is coming up at 2PM EST
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Remember the SF school that suspended a 1st grader for wishing an atheist teacher "Merry Christmas"? Yeah that story is originally from a fake news site. Which hasn't stopped a real school with a similar name from being flooded with complaints
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Teens are shunning fake weed in favor of real weed. Also, somebody is upset that they've realized marijuana isn't dangerous
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Christians break 8th Commandment because boobs
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Indian official: Diplomat's arrest in NYC barbaric. In India heavy-handed treatment by the police is normally reserved for the poor. Well as long as they only mistreat the POOR
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
DA to throw book at "affluenza" teen on retrial
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
"Hey, could you keep your dog out of my yard?" "Sure. But first, try to keep this bullet out of your head"
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Attempt to remove fluoride from the tap water in Des Moines, Iowa fails after everyone realizes the dentists and lawmakers against the helpful additive assumed Dr. Strangelove was a documentary, not satire
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Florida town bans kids from playing in the street. Can't they go do something less noisy, like play video games?
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The New York Times needs to get over itself
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Too Soon: Comedy is tragedy plus time, unless you're reading a headline on Fark
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
US Cardinal Burke "One gets the impression..{Pope Francis} thinks we're talking too much about abortion, too much about {gay marriage}..But we can never talk enough about that." Pope Francis: You just did. Hit the bricks, Burke
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Let's Bring 'Em Home)
 
 
 
Let's Bring 'Em Home is underway again for 2013 and asking the Fark community for any help contributing to help buy plane tickets to fly soldiers home for Christmas. Farkers have stepped up every year since 2005 to help
source: lbeh.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Will you marry me? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook