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Sun December 15, 2013
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Army veteran hit and killed after stopping to help a stranded motorist. Fark: He was driving home from his own wedding reception
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Heavy online use can lead to anxiousness, TotalFark subscription
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Chrysler corselette
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cops recreate entire season of "21 Jump Street" and spend an entire term undercover at school
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
School decides not to call 911 when 6-year-old girl loses a piece of her finger because they "didn't feel like it was an emergency"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Dallas area luxury gun club and indoor shooting range celebrates its grand opening with predictable results
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Sun will 'flip upside down' within weeks, says NASA. The. Sun. Will. FLIP UPSIDE DOWN
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Two men have spent 1000+ days in jail for not getting off the lawn
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Let's say this Twinkie represents the number of lies the NSA has told us about tracking the location of our cell phones. Based on this article... that's a hell of a big Twinkie
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
Even while pointing a gun at someone, your ability to intimidate is greatly diminished with a chihuahua sitting next to you
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Aren't we all, Mr. News Anchor...aren't we all
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Will work be canceled because of the blizzard? Will you run out of beer? How is the weather in YOUR neighborhood? All that and more here: It's your OFFICIAL Winter Storm Electra discussion thread (w/snow totals)
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo District News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this woman and a photo of an angel
source: potd.pdnonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to rob a store, make sure the owner isn't a retired cage fighter
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
If you're happy and you know it, leave it to a Walgreens cashier to help you figure a way to show it
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Stoners, psychedelic drug users, Timothy Leary, and Deadheads are responsible for the creation of the CIA
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
The War on Christmas existed long before Fox News. In the 17th century, it was an indisputable fact: Boston Puritans canceled Christmas for 22 years, and those caught celebrating were hit with a fine
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
A Christmas gift for atheists from our good friends at FOX News: Five reasons why God exists
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Grocery store employee beaten while throwing down salt. What a slugfest
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Christmas decorations stolen. Suspect described as having shoes that were too tight, or his head not screwd on just right, or the most likely reason of all, his heart was too sizes too small
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
UPS comes up with creative places to leave packages when you aren't home, but perhaps the trashcan on garbage day isn't the best idea. Bonus: UPS denies any responsibility
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Batman arrests the Joker in this very special holiday mugshot roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Perhaps the most brilliant person ever in the history of the human race has figured out the recipe to make the infamous Arrested Development cornballs
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Looking for that perfect gift for the hard-to-buy-for person on your holiday wishlist? How about a magical unicorn sculpture that pees lemonade and shoots fire from its horn?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Colorado school changes mind, decides that maybe, just possibly, charging a first-grader with sexual harassment may have been a bit of a reach
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Folding a piece of paper into an origami elephant isn't really newsworthy...unless you're trying to make it life size. We're gonna need a bigger sheet of paper
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(xoJane)
 
 
 
Because some people think it's perfectly acceptable to give canned escargot and fruitcake (it's not), here are some ground rules for giving to food banks
source: xojane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Garden Island)
 
 
 
Crazy guy finds out the hard way that 12 feet of steel pole with six inches of blade on the end still doesn't beat nine millimeters
source: thegardenisland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Courier UK)
 
 
 
Santa fled on foot after crashing into a Scotsman's yard in a Nissan Micra. So much for the economic recovery
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
There's no such thing as a free lunch... unless you're a soldier at this restaurant where the locals have been playing the "pay a random soldier's lunch tab every day" game for almost a year
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
"Like many of the children who visit him, he doesn't believe his skin color makes him different. He's simply Santa"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The king of Jordan may not be able to move your life in a different way but he will help you move your car in a snow storm
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this free spirited love child before she headed off to Kent State
source: stylenheat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Every internet lawyer out there will tell you never to confess to the cop who just pulled you over that the reason you were driving poorly was because you were drinking beers while watching 'The Fast and the Furious'
source: lawandorder.blogs.gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Do You Remember)
 
 
 
Nearly 100 years ago the first American roadside motel was created, changing forever the lives of mother-obsessed psychos and horny politicians everywhere
source: doyouremember.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Don't have a cow about the threats of milk prices going off the dairy cliff
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BOSS)
 
 
 
"Affluenza" judge gave a black 14-year-old life in prison without the possibility of parole for participating in a robbery in which someone died
source: brothersonsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Participants dress up as Santa or a slutty elf and attempt to annoy as many people in as many bars as possible before succumbing to alcohol poisoning
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pacific Standard Magazine)
 
 
 
Jesus is just alright as meme
source: psmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
Dumb: Gun buyback programs. Even dumber: Refusing to take in illegal guns. You know, the ones everyone actually wants off the streets
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
'Walmart Employee of the Month' is a good example of how someone can be a winner and a loser at the same time
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 14, 2013
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bigamy still technically illegal in Utah, but there are now legal ways to satisfy that matrimonial addiction
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No more 40 and 60 watt incandescent lightbulbs being manufactured for USA usage as of Jan 1
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
A 60-year-old old man caught in bed with an 11-year-old girl can get five years in prison. Unless you're in Italy and the 11-year-old says she loves him. Then there's no problem
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Have you donated money to your alma mater instead of to the poor? If so, you're a bad person and should feel bad about yourself
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Optimal Human Modulation)
 
 
 
Fark.com has provided laughter and truth for years. But who is this man "Drew Curtis" really?
source: optimalhumanmodulation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Kid gets suspended for a year and loses his full ride college scholarship over a) drugging a teacher, b) slugging a teacher, or c) hugging a teacher?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Naked man baffles Swedish townspeople with his nude snowmobile rides. "I could see his arse, that was bad enough"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Following the death of her husband woman undergoes grief counselling and decides to search for son she give up at birth when she was nineteen. Discovers he was a passenger on Pan-Am flight 103 blown up over Lockerbie 24 years earlier
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Swedish Icehotel guests in the Frankenstein suite
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fraternity suspended after photo depicts them letting an obscene amount of beer get warm
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British MP to newspaper that branded her "the laziest lawmaker" based on her attendance record in Parliament: I was pregnant and on maternity leave during that time, you lazy, non-fact-checking farks
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wire)
 
 
 
Like surprises? You wouldn't if you were on death row in Japan
source: thewire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Federal judge rules that California's 10-day waiting period for people who already own guns is unconstitutional, does not pass "either intermediate or strict scrutiny"
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Brothers get their picture taken together on Santa's lap. Fark: For 34 years running
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
For the love of money... here we go again. Mega Millions rolls up to $550 million. For that kind of money, subby could buy Fark
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Just a heads-up for the weekend people: three Headline of the Year quarterfinals threads went up earlier this week. Here they are if you missed them
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Everybody hates the college essay -- the students writing them and the professors grading them. So why are they still being done?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arapahoe school shooter went on rampage because he wasn't a cunning linguist
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember the rich, white kid that got out of killing four people while drunk driving because of he was rich and white? Well, here comes the lawsuiting
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
As you take yet another deep, rich, intoxicating puff from your e-cigarette, smug in the fact that you're aren't harming your body like regular smokers do with their cancer sticks, you might want to know about the latest research
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
The coin that JFK would have tossed before the 1963 Army-Navy game will be used 50 years later. It will probably be heads
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Friday)
 
 
 
"What if I told you that this drug treats everything? What if I told you it prevents almost every illness you might get? It's 100 percent effective, and works for every person around the world, rich or poor, young or old, with no side effects?"
source: sciencefriday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Well Ballerina Bob, that's certainly.. ummm a little different, but whatever it takes to cheer up your cancer-stricken wife is a good thing
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Firefighters decide Farenheit 451 didn't go far enough
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop these jumping cricketers
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Eater)
 
 
 
Brooklyn hipsters proclaim bacon OVER, are now into artisanal porridge "made from a variety of ancient, global, and gluten-free grains." A steal at $7 a bowl
source: eater.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In a move sure to stabilize the region, Best Korea orders all of its citizens in China to leave the country in order to test which ones are loyal to Kim and not the dead uncle
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Vet)
 
 
 
Brewing beer and hiring Veterans, that's unpossible ..... No, its the Veteran Beer Co. out of Chicago
source: veteranbeercompany.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The creator of Festivus airs his grievances toward Fox News regarding the "War on Christmas" manufactured outrage. Up next, he challenges Megyn Kelly to the Feats of Strength
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 2 Fort Myers)
 
 
 
Uninvited guests you might find in your pool: A) Your pushy neighbors, B) an alligator, Florida C) Two cute black bears (w/pic)
source: nbc-2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
We are no longer a nation of mallrats as more and more people are turning to the internet to do their shopping. SUCK IT KEVIN SMITH
source: business.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"Israel makes all citizens serve in the military. The United States should adopt a similar policy where everyone must wait tables at least once in their lives"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Is it still a terrorist plot if you are the only one plotting? One moron and a whole bunch of FBI agents apparently say "yes"
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotus Blog)
 
 
 
"Your Honor, we ask for declaratory judgement that due to our control of the spice, we be deemed to be in control of the universe"
source: scotusblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Prince Harry is 'chuffed' to have spent the last 2 weeks skiing 200 miles across Antarctica to the South Pole with a group of disabled Iraq & Afghanistan vets. Interesting story to the left, interesting theory on WTF 'chuffed' means to the right
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Former employee is facing federal charges for stealing human bones from the anatomy lab at Ohio University to fund drug habit. Where's the humerus tag?
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The [Florida] tag will wave a fond farewell
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Teens party in unoccupied mansion, leaving $1 million in damages and making off with medieval armor, designer suits and a $250,000 stuffed leopard while taking selfies. In other words a fairly boring Fark party
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
♫ ♪ It's a nice day to chase a white widow. It's a nice day to start again ♪ ♫
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Bomb goes off outside Belfast restaurant in Northern Ireland. It's the same old theme since 1916, in your head, in your head they're still fighting
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Facebook claims new "machine brain" will end up knowing all about your social life based on your photos. Since all subby posts on FB are My Little Pony photos, challenge smugly accepted
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
You're just six easy conversational steps away from being popular. Well, since you're reading this on Fark, make that seven steps away
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Automotive)
 
 
 
NHTSA poll says that a quarter of all motorists admit to driving faster than the speed limit. The other three quarters live in New York, L.A. and Washington, D.C. and have yet to experience going faster than 25 mph
source: blogs.automotive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Canada begins a project to offer seal meat in stores. Suddenly, "going out clubbing" takes on a whole new meaning
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Passenger arrested at JFK with six pounds of cocaine hidden in hair care products, says she was only trying to keep her blow dry
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Nova Scotia politician steaming mad after pic of her topless prison shower scene in 2008 episode of "The L Word" becomes Canadian internet sensation, claims she was cyberbullied
source: atlantic.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this moment of impending doom for Cam Newton
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Top seven reasons why gawky foreign men attract so many hot Japanese women
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
While most cities struggle with mundane infrastructure like subways and overpasses, Saskatoon is considering heated downtown sidewalks
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Come watch a fun Christmas cat video that donates a free can of gooshy food (up to 500,000) for every view to help needy felines at this festive time of the year. Caturday approves
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Planetary Society)
 
 
 
Moon landing, Saturday, 8:40 A.M. EST. This will be, IF all goes according to plan, the first non-crash landing on the Moon since the 1970s. Link to English language live television coverage provided
source: planetary.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Did you hear the one about the stripper, her boyfriend, and the 72-year-old man they were driving home when they got pulled over?
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATV Little Rock)
 
 
 
And now for something completely different: Gangsta Claus
source: katv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
So, you think that girl is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? Sure about that? 500 years is an awful long time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Let's see what's being banned from Florida elementary schools this week. Oh dear, those are trouble
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Don't say Charlton Heston didn't warn us
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
It was bound to happen: George W. Bush, hipster icon
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Turns out there was a bit of a cover up involving the Roanoke colonists
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
86-year-old Howard Stern listener wins date with prostitute so he can get some for the first time since before YOU last got some - but dies minutes before the big moment, after choking on a piece of meat
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 13, 2013
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
"I'm offended that my religion was unflatteringly portrayed in the media": atheist edition
source: blogs.villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Protip: Do not remove this guy's lunch from the office fridge
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Baby deer walks up to hunters during their target practice, licks one of their guns
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It is still illegal for Britons to publicly state that the Royal family are a bunch of annoying inbred asshats, and that the entire institution should be consigned to the rubbish pits of history
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme:Things for the bride to throw instead of a bouquet. Link goes to inspiration
source: bridesthrowingcats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Expert investigator with years of experience claims that Paul Walker was murdered
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Photoshop what Obama "should" be saying
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Turns out New York was right and Chicago has the second best pizza in the country. Providence, RI has the first
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Bad: Man spends a decade in jail for a murder he didn't commit because of police misconduct. Better: a panel awards hims a $5 million settlement. Fark me: of which he is very unlikely to get a single dime now that Detroit has filed for bankruptcy
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Magic" piano apparently playing by itself delights travelers at Chicago's Union Station, who apparently all hailed from some distant primitive land where the concept of "a player piano" is unknown
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Caribou researchers: Rudolph's nose was red because of parasites. Or cocaine
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
The white zone is for car bombs
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this protesting pianist
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 17 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Colorado high school acknowledges Sandy Hook anniversary with re-creation
source: fox17online.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Be afraid, be very afraid: The NSA official in charge of investigating the Snowden leaks thinks it might be worth giving him amnesty and letting him come back to the US to keep him from leaking the REALLY bad stuff
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Amazon founder Jeff Bezos loses gov't challenge filed by Jeff Bezos against Jeff Bezos. Jeff Bezos
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Phoenix-area cities increasingly rely on volunteer policemen to don special uniforms, tool around in marked cruisers, free up officers to hunt real criminals. "They don't complain like paid people do. They truly come and want to help us out"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN, asking the hard question: Could "affluenza" actually be the result of bad parenting?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Caption George W. Bush showing off his paintings to Hillary Clinton on Air Force One
source: img.gawkerassets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
When you're a cop on duty, your job is to protect and serve and enjoy the occasional snowball fight
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida teen who begged for a new family, 'I'll take anyone. Old or young, dad or mom, black, white, purple. I don't care.' Has found a new forever home just in time for Christmas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Up North Live)
 
 
 
Meijer employee fired for putting out fire
source: upnorthlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(19 Action News)
 
 
 
With so much of the country dealing with winter weather, it's a good time to remind would-be crooks that cops are very skilled at following footprints in the snow
source: 19actionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
On grade inflation at the Ivy League: one student once cornered me and said: "I hope you're happy you've destroyed my chance at Goldman and ruined my life"
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
It's snowing in Cairo. Yes, that Cairo
source: darkroom.baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
There's stupid, and then there's Indiana Stupid
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Instead of spending all that money plumping up your lips with collagen, you could always just get a lip piercing and let the ensuing infection do it for free
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
I will not get drunk at a wedding and go steal the naked picture of a woman on a cigar over the urinal in the Citizen Hotel. I will not get drunk at a wedding and go steal the naked picture of a woman on a cigar over the urinal in the Citizen Hotel
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Wonders of science create cavity-free candy and HOLY SHIAT I CAN HAVE ALL OF THE CANDY
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Mom, can I please borrow 20 bucks? In non-sequential bills? And, uh, keep your hands where I can see them. You're the best
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Just in time for Caturday, we learn that Allied forces tested cat-guided bombs during WWII
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
The wise man built his house upon a rock. And then there was this guy, in Rockville, Utah
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: June through August
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
You'll enjoy this article about why Friday the 13th is considered unlucky - knock on wood
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Fat-shaming Fit Mom previously suffered from the "good girl drug", aka bulimia
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Caption this line of Santas
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
That missing American in Iran that everyone SWORE was just there on a business trip? Yeah, he was working for the CIA
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Two more Pakistani polo workers killed, government says to look out for armed men yelling Marco
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HyperVocal)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Milan Council Has Something Up Their Butts About Dildo Christmas Tree
source: hypervocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The speed limit on Chicago area interstates is 80. Nobody is sure why the signs say 55
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
A woman is lucky to be alive in Alaska after surviving three nights of temperatures that sank as low as minus 20 degrees-and she has "Elvis" to thank
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
Today in "Are you even trying?": Man drives to court on summons for driving without a license, then attempts to drive away with his weed and scale sitting on the back seat
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Shop 'til you drop...your drawers?
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"In 1949, when George Orwell predicted in his terrifying novel 1984 the future use of television sets to watch us in our homes, many thought he was a delusional paranoid. It turns out that he was just off by a generation"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southgate News-Herald)
 
 
 
Romulus celebrates grand opening of Taco Bell, though the Tal Shiar are investigating Federation claims that it's authentic Mexican cuisine
source: thenewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Children in China are being taught kung fu as self-defence against air pollution. It's the Desolation of Smog
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Best Korea just dropped its No. 2 right in the punchbowl. So what does this mean for North Korea?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Parents groups are concerned that Elf on the Shelf sends out a bad message to children, instilling within them a fear that someone is watching over them at all times. To say nothing of the fact it is a terrifying, soulless marionette
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Photographs show an impala escaping the jaws of a crocodile. Sadly, the malibu and the silverado weren't quite as lucky
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You're kind of a passive-aggressive vandal if you use hot sauce to vandalize a person's car
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Good: Catching a train while fleeing a crime scene. Bad: Train catching you while fleeing a crime scene
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop these turtles part of the way down
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Best press release EVER
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
It's winter, why are we having a SHARK SCARE article? Oh, a great white with a radio transmitter? Carry on then (link fixed)
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Santa's not real, but if he was HE'D TURN YOU INTO HAM. Sleep tight, kids
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Standard)
 
 
 
How bad is the pollution in Chinese cities? People are shoving cigarette butts in their noses so they can inhale cleaner air
source: business-standard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
If you sent holiday mail to someone aboard the aircraft carrier USS Harry S. Truman the Navy has some bad news for you
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
If you're going to commit an apartment robbery, it's probably a good idea to not stand outside for an hour in full view of security cameras and practice your twerking skills
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Rooster testicles seized at NZ border - "Baked beans they are not". Thanks for the warning - I'm always getting those two mixed up
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you're going to troll the cops with an iPhone shaped cookie, try not to have any outstanding warrants for your arrest
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boobies)
 
 
 
Boobies outraged by erosion of sexual liberty
source: firstpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Lawyer for pedophile priests quotes the bible: "Let the little children come to me; do not stop them; for it is to such of these that the kingdom of God belongs"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
After defeating the Nazis, about 2000 WWII vets were given lobotomies by the US government to treat their homosexuality, schizophrenia, depression and psychosis
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
"Jingle Bells" & "Kill the Jews", eh, same thing. Or at least is for Romanian State TV holiday carol special
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. New hotness: Sudden Adult Death Syndrome
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Man accused of public masturbation at Short Pump Wal-Mart"
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 12, 2013
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It takes more than five hours and 30lbs of make-up to make a semi-attractive woman into an advertising model, it also takes hours of Photoshop
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Mother arrested for killing her infant son with an overdose of Benadryl. In other news, you can overdose on Benadryl
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What's the real reason for the post-pregnancy fitness selfie rage? They make women jealous and feel bad about themselves
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
82 year old woman gets X-ray, finds 40-year old calcified fetus. No word on whether her son is the Kwisatz Haderach
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Millionaire ex-CFO tries to kill himself, fails. Fark: But not before taking out a young couple and their unborn baby
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Church Deacon offers alibi in child fondling case: "Satan was in that storage room and took over my body"
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WNCT Greenville)
 
 
 
Sad: Teen dies of a gunshot wound to the head. WTF: In a police cruiser, after being searched and handcuffed from behind. Unlikely: The Police Chief is claiming that the wound was self-inflicted
source: wnct.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CafeMom)
 
 
 
Daycare worker steals gold & diamond earrings right off toddler's ears. Article asks, insightfully: "Do you think kids need real jewelry?"
source: thestir.cafemom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unusual tree
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
MegaMillions jackpot hits $400,000,000 as recent rule changes make odds of winning less likely than your penis gaining sentience, detaching itself from your body, and starting an ironically named ska band
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Crash of cement truck sends driver to the mortarary
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
"It takes longer to learn how to be a waitress at Olive Garden." To be fair, it's more degrading at Olive Garden
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Sure I stabbed her. But I was drunk, and she was being a biatch
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Plastic surgeon dad gives boob jobs to both his daughters. Okay, that's a bit creepy
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Man asks Internet for help finding a girl he met on New Year's Eve last year. Turns out she REALLY didn't want to be found
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CI News Now Peoria)
 
 
 
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Because hell wouldn't break into your house and pee in your mouthwash
source: cinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
If your heart suddenly stops beating, you may have previously asymptomatic Lyme disease
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Good news everyone. Heavy drinkers outlive nondrinkers
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
WTF Christmas gift ideas for every price range. Not a slideshow. Do not mock the ramen spork
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HyperVocal)
 
 
 
Because why not get married at SantaCon
source: hypervocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
*DING* You are now free to move about the cabin and choke the living shiat out of the asshole in 17E that has been blabbing nonstop on his cellphone since Cleveland
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
Pizza and beer simply go together. Why didn't you think of this?
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Srsly though guys, hands-off Queen Elizabeth's nuts
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Recipes)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Let's dig into some Indian dishes. Do you stick to vegetarian? Northern vs Southern? All the Curry or Garam Masala? Knock out spices or mild? Make our eyes water and our tastebuds tingle to the right
source: allrecipes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
They went to Jared. And then they went to jail
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(University Herald)
 
 
 
Food poisoning and pneumonia-causing bacteria are currently hiding deep inside your nose. Have a nice day
source: universityherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sly Oyster)
 
 
 
Great, as if massholes needed one more thing to feel superior about, now they are home to the first and only official Trappist brewery in America
source: slyoyster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashua Telegraph)
 
 
 
Adventure theme park wants their street's name changed because people don't know the French word for 'fish', and think that they're located on Poison Avenue
source: nashuatelegraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My 9 NJ)
 
 
 
Cop acknowledges that video of him firing a sniper rifle makes his disability claim look ridiculous. As if being permanently disabled by a stapler wasn't ridiculous enough
source: my9nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what the FBI sees from your laptop
source: whitehousemuseum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest, Round 2: March through May
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Weird stuff people leave behind during holiday shopping, travel. Manners, civility, and courtesy are not weird, people
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Starbucks is secretly letting customers carbonate their coffee, still not so secretly misspelling their names
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Today's word of the day: amplituhedron
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
What commercials do you still remember from your childhood? Subby is unsure why this one randomly popped into his head this morning
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincolnshire Echo)
 
 
 
Just before Christmas, man is charged with stealing 20 partridges. Not a pear tree in sight
source: lincolnshireecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe has yet another idea that...well, this one isn't that bad really
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Three bears caught during Florida's ongoing "War on Bears" escape their captors, plot their revenge on mankind
source: thesent.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Only pee indoors on Beacon Hill
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Today in FFS: British politicians are getting an 11% pay rise, while public sector workers are capped at 1%
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Today's baby left in a car while mom shops at a liquor store is brought to you by Ocala, Florida
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Happy National Poinsettia Day, let's give thanks the plant that can kill your whole family
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you get an email inviting you to click on a link to see nude pictures of a former First Lady, you deserve what you get
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
California Department of Public Health cock blocks the makers of Sriracha for 30 days, hopefully it doesn't turn blue
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Louisiana Radio Network)
 
 
 
Woman in sleepy southern town fashions Christmas lights into a human hand flipping the bird for the second year in a row. Why, yes, the ACLU got involved, why do you ask?
source: louisianaradionetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
How to get suspended from your job: If you're a 911 operator and someone calls to report a sexual encounter with a cop, just start chuckling
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Hawaiian official who verified Obama's birth certificate is the sole fatality in a small plane crash, or as it's otherwise known: Alex Jones' Cialis
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Brooklyn declared "lesbian capital of the Northeast" by borough president. Now that's thinking outside the box
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Bird strike causes an $8 million Air Force jet to crash. Military experts are shocked that the Air Force actually bought something for less than $100 million
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Do major surgery on the wrong limb once: hey, these things happen. Twice will likely get you on Fark. Work on the wrong limb 40 times and you're the National Health Service and must be defended at all costs
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby monkey born at Leicestershire zoo (pic)
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man who stole $300 samurai sword by hiding it in his pants looks exactly like you'd expect
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(truTV)
 
 
 
Ireland's plan to reduce unemployment: reduce the unemployed
source: blog.trutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The internet: Come for the porn and cat pictures, stay to see a used tee-shirt in Kenya reunited with the American woman who donated it twenty years ago
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
College student discusses life with druggie housemates, says it's not all bad. "One month one of them took speed and cleaned my bathroom. I wish he'd cleaned the sick up first time round, but his heart was in the right place"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop Bobo da Corte
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
That handshake with Obama and Castro? Yeah, that was a well-planned troll. And we all took a big bite
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dorking and Leatherhead)
 
 
 
'Scrooge-like' council removes Dorking Cock's Christmas costume
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
If you eat food that had parents, it alters your gut bacteria significantly and quickly
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Ho Ho Ho...eh?"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
Wilson the dog was rushed to the vets after his owner thought he had swallowed a single golf ball. But when they x-rayed him they found more than they bargained for. No wonder he was feeling under par
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you had "schizophrenia" as the reason Mandela's Memorial Service had a fake sign language interpreter, claim your prize
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Diva Asia)
 
 
 
Plastic surgeon turns an ugly woman into someone so beautiful he proposes to her after she gets out of surgery. Yeah, that's totally not creepy or anything
source: divaasia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Drive by shooter caught on camera. No, not that type -- the um...other...type
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Doh: It's a Buzzfeed link. D'awww: of shelter dogs going to their forever homes. Bonus: not a slideshow
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man sitting on toilet has penis bitten by snake - when all he really needed was a viper
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Come to the clinic for hair replacement, stay for the Hep B, Hep C, HIV
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
Strung out Oklahoma man facing a night of bitter cold after falling into icy pond doesn't fret, he strips down and gets into his guitar case
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Arizona police officer and spokeswoman for the state Department of Public Safety turns out to be an illegal immigrant
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 449: "Soundscapes". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 11, 2013
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Cop hears a man clear his throat, decides to a.) ignore it, b.) check to see if he's OK, or c.) slam his head into the wall?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
When the alarm goes off, do you hit the snooze button? Well, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
The newest way for prescription pain-pill addicts to get their fixes? Get the meds from their veterinarians after injuring their pets
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Unnecessary censorship. Link goes to polka-dot example
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Cafe in France begins charging more if customers are rude. They're going to be millionaires in a week
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here's a woman whose leisure time involves strapping flares to herself and jumping off live high-tension power pylons. Because Russia
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
11-year-old boy rescues dog, despite heavy traffic and all the dust in here
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"I asked you for warm fries McDonald's Drive-thru. Don't make me axe you twice"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
For you Farkers that have jobs, and would like to keep them .....How to behave at your Work Christmas Party
source: video.vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Students too lazy to go to real college also too lazy to go to online college
source: valleywag.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Christmas camel rentals: serious business. Just in time for Humpday
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Spice up your homemade gingerbread cookies with this handy, four-piece Kama Sutra cookie cutter set. Great fun for the whole family--of perverts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monterey Herald)
 
 
 
If you're a history teacher and you have a problem with a student in class do you: A) send him to the principal B) schedule a parent-teacher conference or C) Go to his house, kick the door off the hinges and beat him
source: montereyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
New EPA study of chemicals in drinking water reveals that, at this point, tap water is basically a gateway drug
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Challenge: Photoshop what Fark's World Headquarters should look like
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Bishop's house is burglarized. Fark: Desmond Tutu's house. Sick: While he was at Nelson Mandela's funeral
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
FDA to ensure your dog has antibiotic-free steak
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Rich, white kid who has suffered no consequences in life gets probation after killing four people in a DUI crash because he has been a victim of being rich, white, and not suffering consequences in life
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Senator Lamar Alexander's chief of staff has a seat right over there
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Not to alarm anyone, but a mysterious object is blocking an $80-million tunnel boring machine 60-feet underneath a major American city and nobody has any idea what it is
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
With over 100 businesses approved, but only a dozen planning to open immediately, Colorado police are preparing for Black Wednesday, the day pot officially goes on sale
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NBC reporters walk into schools without checking in at the office. Scary tag too busy selling ritalin behind the library to notice
source: investigations.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Good idea: BIE. Bad idea: Posting someone's BIE on a revenge porn site. Really bad idea: Extorting someone to remove their BIE
source: yro.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Marine's body was returned home without a heart, despite claims by the Great and Wonderful Oz
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Cattle rustling. New and buzzing: Bee rustling
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
The best argument for the Oxford comma that you'll see all week
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How did a family of six survive in Nevada's sub-zero temps until they were rescued? By not being dumbasses
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grist)
 
 
 
Passing winds may now provide energy at a lower cost than natural gas. Lighting a match still not recommended
source: grist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Satan opens the floodgates to the Oklahoma State Capitol grounds, is surprised to see Lord Hanuman first in line
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WA Today (Australia))
 
 
 
Well, be fair, the goal on a football field *is* to break the plane
source: watoday.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IT World)
 
 
 
Swedish politicians leave racist comments on far-right website; identities revealed by Disqus security flaw
source: itworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
In an surprising act of kindness, a city government has done the "rational" thing and agreed to let an autistic boy keep his therapy chickens. City council members were unsure of the action, saying they've never done anything "rational" before
source: thesent.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
I don't always drink tequila, but when I do, I pass out on the front porch of my neighbors house in -17 degree temperatures
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Nine places that you should visit in the US next year, and Kansas City
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Happy 11.12.13 day, rest of the world
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ben Affleck reads a new word in the dictionary every day, and then tries to use it in a sentence to sound intelligent. Today's word: bifurcate
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
While Americans fret about the loss of Saturday mail delivery, Canada Post announces it will eliminate door-to-door delivery to most Canadians. And for good measure, they're raising the price of a stamp to $1
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Deaf people are saddened to learn that Nelson Mandela pickle hopped the yam bridge with digressive hat monkeys on fester twelve
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
Man charged with, rape, sodomy, pulling part of his girlfriend's stomach out. "Paulino indicated he wasn't worried because he has Jesus on his side"
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Every generation thinks they invented blowjobs and LOLcats
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
Kentucky gun owner wounded in heroic shootout with toilet paper dispenser
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Like too much hot sex, a plethora of drugs and alcohol, or a garage full of Ferraris, oversaving is on the short list of "problems most Americans won't have to face in their lifetime"
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No, Kanye West did not call himself "the next Nelson Mandela"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Sailor paints kick-ass murals all over the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt. Pics to the left, arguments over whether Popeye was in the Navy or Coast Guard to the right
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(WTKR)
 
 
 
76-year-old man purchased a gun in 1965 for $12 and never pulled the trigger. That all changed on Tuesday when he found a burglar hiding out inside a closet in his barber shop
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
UPDATE: TSA defends confiscation of sock monkey's 2" toy gun as "realistic replica firearm"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Freeman)
 
 
 
NY Public Interest Research Group releases its annual list of toys that are the most fun
source: dailyfreeman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Man crawls into clothing collection bin to score some free clothes, meets Darwin
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You've been hating on them for years, but what if it turned out that you were actually the very Millennial you despised? Or -- *gasp* -- a Boomer? Take this quiz to find out whether you should actually be loathing yourself
source: nextavenue.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scientists conclude that an ancient lake on Mars may have at one time supported life. Then again, they said the same thing about the East River
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Hundreds flee cinema because it was Catching Fire
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Supermarkets wouldn't have to throw away so much produce if shoppers weren't so damn picky
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Friday marks one-year anniversary of ban on LOUD TV COMMERCIALS. Some say it worked. 20,000 complaints say otherwise
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington DC Council: Hey, let's pass a law giving every poor child a free $60,000 for their college education. Yay, education. Sane people: Hey, that sounds good, but how are you going to pay for it? DC Council: umm....YAY, EDUCATION
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Chinese protesters gather in public to drink pesticide in most self-limiting protest ever
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Showbiz 411)
 
 
 
Hope for this world: Christmas carol album outselling Britney Spears' latest release. We're so Farked: Duck Dynasty's Christmas Album
source: showbiz411.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sunday World)
 
 
 
Bahraini MP calls for government to stamp out witchcraft, citing the case of a woman who paralyzed her husband by feeding him period blood
source: sundayworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Sure, you could just toss out your Christmas tree when you're done with it. Or you could use it to restore a dune, amuse a cat, or start a fire
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Correction: This article originally misidentified penguins as mammals. They are birds"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Magazines could make a comeback because they are cheaper than cable and offer a "sexier experience"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Man's whole life gets ruined because Google's auto-complete inserted "How do I build a radio controlled bomb" when he was trying to type "How do I build a radio controlled airplane"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
In Texas children are raised to apologize to the officer who just shot them with a stun gun
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
England introducing indestructible plastic polymer bank notes; British residents rise to the challenge, break out microwaves, irons and fire to test them (pics)
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scientists now believe the Yellowstone supervolcano is far bigger than previous estimates. This is bad news for Alabama
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
If you had Dec 10th down as the day the pot-smoking Mountie would be tasered, arrested, and sent for a psych eval, step up and claim your prize
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kate Winslett misses the opportunity to call her new baby Wee Builthiscityon
source: uk.omg.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Aging punk rockers get together for fundraising Christmas single. "Most of us may be celebrating our 50th birthdays these days, but there's no doubt about it - we've still got it." In related news, punk's not dead, it's just turned into your dad
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Only in Arizona #439: Town's public Christmas tree is made of tumbleweeds
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Among other things, Dan Aykroyd suffers from Aspergers, Tourettes, being Canadian
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this staring seagull
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Pope Francis is the TIME Person of the Year. There are some pretty sweet incentives in his contract with God for this, and also if Notre Dame wins a major bowl game
source: poy.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dear Boss, please excuse Bob from being late today, his train was delayed. Signed the MTA
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US ............... loading ............. loading
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
One of the most terrifying things for a pilot is the possibility of birdstrike. Now imagine that bird is an emu
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
After their meals didn't come with hash browns, couple calmly discuss their complaints with employees at McDonald's. Just kidding. They throw their food at a manager, call 911, and punch one of the workers (link replaced)
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Uruguay becomes first country to legalize marijuana. Smoke 'em if you got 'em
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 12 Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Dumb: drunk driving. Dumber: with four kids in the car. Dumbest: while wearing an ankle bracelet and under house arrest for a previous OVI
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 10, 2013
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
The family didn't have a dog, so the cops just stomped on the family parakeet instead
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
There are many ways to seek closure from a failed relationship, start dating again.. alcohol, burning down your ex's house
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
What's worse than being the first pickup on the Super Shuttle on the way to the airport? When the driver pulls out a knife and tries to rob you
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Minor larynx surgery + laser beam + pure oxygen - ability to speak or breathe for rest of life = $30 million
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Are you fat and wrinkly? Are you aging rapidly? Have most of your teeth dissolved away? Well - it's not your fault, it's that damned diet soda you've been guzzling
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Shut. Down. Everything
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Fox News' Gretchen Carlson gets all hot and bothered over erect pole
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Rejected children's horror movies
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 15)
 
 
 
Sure, you can wear whatever you want into Walmart and nothing happens, but you demand that they honor their policy of matching the lowest advertised price on identical products and you get banned for life
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Bizarre representations of national pride via food and flag body paints (one pic Not safe for work)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest, Round 1: December through February
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
11 things you've always wanted to know about lesbian sex but were afraid to ask and HEY YOU ONLY NEED TO CLICK ONCE (Not safe for work)
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(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
Phyllis Schalfly's niece puts on shoes, leaves kitchen to appear on Steve Malzberg's show to criticize 'Everyone Loves Raymond' for "feminizing men"
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(Slate)
 
 
 
Living on a cul-de-sac makes you fat. It makes you a boring, predictable, blase, whitewashed suburbanite, too, but let's focus on the fatness for now
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Most people would be happy & grateful to see firefighters try to put out a fire in their home. Most people
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these burning beats
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Social Reader)
 
 
 
Searchers locate wreckage of a steamship that sank in Lake Huron in 1861 with 33 aboard; in related news, Gordon Lightfoot has himself a sequel
source: socialreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Aetna tells people they can shove their colonoscopies where the sun don't shine
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Shocking revelation of the day: government programs to reduce poverty actually do reduce poverty
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headlines of the Week for 12/1 - 12/7, but more importantly--the first quarterfinal contest Headline of the Year kicks off later today
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(Kare11)
 
 
 
News: A sick, twisted guy sexually harasses a sweet, innocent six-year-old girl. Fark: The guy is a six-year-boy who kissed her on the cheek, to which she did not object
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(KFYI)
 
 
 
"America's Toughest Sheriff" won't fly flags half staff for Mandela
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(Gawker)
 
 
 
Math problem: 1 elementary school child + 0 tolerance - 1 inhaler = ???
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Missing: Truck carrying $120,000 worth of chocolate. If found, please share with everybody
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Viagra may help menstrual cramps by rendering men deaf
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Roman emperors were powerful, rich, and really farking gross sexual deviants
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phys Org2)
 
 
 
Ugly ass reticulated giraffe born in English zoo
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(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR's 50 best albums of 2013, and you haven't heard of any of them. Well, you might have heard of a couple, but those ones aren't nearly as good
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(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Justin Bieber still the frontrunner for shiattiest person in the world
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New York judge to plaintiffs, "Keep our rights off your damn, dirty apes"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVEC)
 
 
 
Does Fed Ex tracking work if someone steals the package from your front porch? No....but a nosy neighbor does
source: wvec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)