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Sun December 01, 2013
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
More than 200 cars were towed in Chicago because people were too stupid to remember the annual overnight parking ban started at midnight
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
In the Scottish islands known as the Hebrides, they start drinking first thing in the morning. Talk about an essential vacation spot
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Sorry I bit off your nose, bro"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Besides the Grinch, do you know who else tried to steal Christmas?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Moonshine is making a comeback in several bars, even if no one knows what the hell is in it
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slightly Warped)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Rare Star Trek photos. Have at 'em, shoppers
source: slightlywarped.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Marriage Equality. New hotness: Divorce Equality
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Students arrested for waiting for a bus
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mario Batali helps ban hot dog vendors from Washington Square Park because they're just too declasse to be seen near his gelato cart
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Turns out ferries are harder to drive than you might think
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Want to move to Hawaii? It will actually ruin your life
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Turns out that in Walker County Georgia it's now legal to kill a man with Alzheimer's, as long as you are saddened and heartbroken about it
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman, seriously wounded from being in plane crash, calls for help and then walks almost a mile to find rescuers and lead them back to the fog-hidden crash site. That's what Alaskan villagers are made of
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRNV Reno)
 
 
 
Bunny ranch workers finally able to get health insurance. Thanks, Obama
source: mynews4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Nothing beats stepping outside on a crisp fall morning, taking a deep breath, and savoring the lingering aromas of a burning pie shop wafting in the air
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
R.I.P. ugly ass dog
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Q&A with The Post's new marijuana editor: "When recreational pot hits the Colorado streets on Jan. 1, 2014, the drug will be more legal here than anywhere else in the world. That's a tasty news story"
source: blogs.denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DCist)
 
 
 
DC DC panda panda gets gets name name
source: dcist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Protesters and security forces continue to play chicken in Kiev
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Once tranquil Montana and North Dakota are reaping the benefits of a fossil fuel based economy, including full employment, a booming economy, and murderous drifters who bury math teachers in shallow graves
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Movie line cross-pollination. Photoshop a famous movie line or catchphrase into a different movie
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Willis WARE who designed hardWARE and softWARE, and predicted malWARE passes
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
King Arthur was a Scot who lived in the strongest castle in the land after the first three burned, fell over, and sank
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Man walks into church. Church bursts into flames. See mom, I told you it could happen
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Healthcare.gov team states that they have met every goal. In other news, the government set the bar pretty low
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
One heck of a toothache ... a Swedish prisoner escapes from jail to see a dentist, then turns himself back in
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
RI one-ups Massachusetts by dropping their sales tax on wine and liquor and has no bottle deposit
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Taco John's manager fired after customer takes a cell phone picture of her preparing food barefoot, no uniform, bra and chest hanging out, sweating, and not washing her hands. Naturally, the franchise owner is upset about cell phone cameras
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Templeton Rye prepares for the release of their one millionth delicious bottle of whiskey
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 8000 La Crosse)
 
 
 
Goose you're frozen on the ice / that's a place not very nice / I came to help get you unstuck / Because I'm the nurse who likes to ----
source: news8000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Not news: Chicago police investigate car theft. Fark: One of their own squad cars
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Ric Romero goes shopping for the best wine deals in town, manages to miss the Boone's Farm aisle
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
According to a new poll, about 30 percent of Americans haven't seen a single one of their Facebook friends in the past two months
source: listwns.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
NYC commuter train takes the scenic route through the Bronx -- four dead, 48 injured (so far)
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Good Samaritan NYPD officer who last year bought boots for a homeless man on a frigid night just got a leg up in his career
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Lawyer being investigated for fraud found stabbed to death in his running kit. With no sign of a weapon at the crime scene police suspect it was suicide, of course
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News Service)
 
 
 
17 year old steps in to break up a fight at his school. Cops arrive, promptly taser him, leaving him in a coma. Hey Drew, when do we get a Texas tag?
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady listening in
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Monitor)
 
 
 
Church bells: They're not for everyone
source: themonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Perhaps the best story of a chronically ill girl getting a Princess Party. It's quite dusty in here all right
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Why is Seattle one of the loneliest cities that you'll ever do?
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Want to buy real oddities for Christmas? Ripley's in New York has things like a vampire-killing kit for $25,000 or a shrunken-head for a little more than $19,000
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
NASA plans to sow and nurture fake seeds on its fake moon set
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Norwegian footballer's wife posts pictures of her perfect flat stomach four days after giving birth, triggering praise such as "kill the biatch" and questions like "how do we say 'pitchfork' in Norwegian?"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
The Amish will see your Paul Walker in a Porsche and raise you with two dead in a buggy crash
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Why won't Google tell me what religion to be?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Trinity Broadcast Network founder Paul Crouch dies at 79, forcing Pat Robertson to rename his show to The 699 Club
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Damn it's Saturday already. One more notch on the bedpost for Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 2+ hours of music hosted live by a farker in Alaska. LGT stream or go to krnn.org
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
It seems there really are strippers out there who have hearts of gold, like this woman who worked at a nonprofit during the day and gave lap dances to New York businessmen at night
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 30, 2013
(London Free Press)
 
 
 
Pregnant woman on a business trip to Britain and suffers a panic attack. Social workers: A) hospitalize her B) Force her to undergo a c-section C) keep the baby
source: lfpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Guy on Facebook finds the person he mugged such a long, long time ago and asks for forgiveness - gets it 35 years later
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
NewsFlash
 
"Fast and Furious" star Paul Walker dead at 40 after going 2 fast, 2 furious in Porsche
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Columbia Daily Herald)
 
 
 
If you thought your family's Thanksgiving melee was bad, at least you didn't have a mobile home fight to the death knifey-gun style over your late father-in-law's 30-year old shoes
source: columbiadailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
"How was I able to turn forty without knowing these essential life skills?" In other news, changing a tire is an essential life skill
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
OMG, this woman has lived inside an iron lung for 60 years. No tag seems appropriate
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The most breathtaking images of fog filling the Grand Canyon you will see this decade
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Photoshop whatever the fark is happening here
source: media.sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
For Sale: Spacious off-the-grid, hand-carved ethereal cave network under the desert of Northern New Mexico, built by a single man, a sixty seven year-old sculptor and visionary artist, a pick axe and a wheelbarrow (w/pics)
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Apparently, people in one state don't realize that leaving giant cardboard boxes from their new TVs and Playstations was a signal for thieves to break into their homes
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Last chance to shop in Brookline, Mass. before plastic and polystyrene ban. Or you could shop in surrounding cities where voters have better things to do
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lynn Daily Item)
 
 
 
Det. John Law says find the low hanging fruit and the Victoria's Secret Caper can be solved
source: itemlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Prayer boosts self-control, emotional stability, better neighbors, and higher greenlit submissions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
76-year-old woman gets confronted by armed robbers outside her home, grabs her piece and goes out guns blazing
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Undocumented tourists thrilled as 'preferred' pronouns gain traction at U.S. colleges
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
No matter how bad your day is going, it's not going as badly as these people who had to bail out of their cars on a wind-whipped Seattle suspension bridge earlier this month
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When her 4-year-old son was reduced to tears by the thought of wearing glasses, Mom decided it needed to become an issue for the internet masses
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Because it's become too hard to prosecute people for using sidewalk chalk, San Diego's D.A. office is now filing felony charges against a guy that pruned some shrubs
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
OLD SAGGY NEWS: Maglev trains ~~~ UPLIFTING PERKY NEWS: Maglev bras
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oakridge Quartet)
 
 
 
Photoshop these gospel guys
source: theseamericans.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Real-life Robinson Crusoe who decided to run business from a remote Indonesian island calls it quits and goes home, says fear of losing web signal was unbearable. And snakes (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
There's a push to turn the area in New Mexico where the first nuclear bomb was created into a National Park. It's sure to receive glowing reviews
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Illinois Department of Transportation says 95% of drivers in the Illinois Tollway speed. The other 5% are always in the fast lane going the speed limit WITH THEIR F*CKING TURN SIGNAL ON GET THE HELL OVER YOU JACKASS
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Top Gear)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what happened to the Mazda Furai concept car?
source: topgear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman finds ghostly face in bowl of cheerios, eats it out of fear it might be a cereal killer
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smoking hot 33-year-old drama teacher arrested for sex with student. Bonus: She had also been going dogging for sex with men and women in car park (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsMax)
 
 
 
New poll reveals "Americans don't like each other," along with other bombshells, "Hollywood is out of ideas" and "Duke sucks"
source: newsmax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Why trample someone on Black Friday when you can use a stun gun?
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
What better way to celebrate the co-occurrence of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah than with an ooey-gooey-Jewy macaroni and cheese menorah?
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Plans to build the "Freedom Ship", a luxury cruise liner 25 stories high and over a mile long, are back on. Hmmm, the world's richest people, neatly gathered together and floating in the middle of the ocean... This could work out
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Three weeks later, let's see how things are going in the Philippines. "On average, we find 45 bodies a day"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The State Department blinks first
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Woman ordered to stop using her home as a.) an illegal casino, b.) a drug den, or c.) a safe haven for abused women?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Latest victim of an urban myth suffers broken nose and jaw
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man arrested for refusing to remove his Guy Fawkes mask for police while protesting Obamacare at a rally says he didn't want his fellow cops to recognize him
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Today's item spilled all over the highway: Scrap metal, with bonus crushed cars making passers-by think it was a multi-vechicle accident
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Essex Chronicle)
 
 
 
Shop worker 'treated like a slave because he is English'. Or maybe because he's lazy, and ginger
source: essexchronicle.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
French tattoo artists oppose government plan to outlaw: A) single owner shops B) residential businesses, or C) colored ink
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un lookalike turns heads in Hong Kong, confuses Dennis Rodman
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Buzzfeed decides to protect those precious snowflake authors from meanies who submit negative reviews of their crappy books
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired UK)
 
 
 
Move over, "Candy Crush"
source: wired.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Photoshop John Boehner's web browser
source: a1.img.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Soshiok)
 
 
 
It's so hot today I think I'm going to go buy some ice cream at the mall only wearing my colorful underwear and an ill-fitting t-shirt
source: soshiok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Model T found submerged in Mississippi River remains a mystery. McCain for President bumper sticker seen as possible clue
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
All your Caturdays belong to me, for I am Napoleon the cat and the world belongs to me... Psssst, it's all about short steps to get to Caturday
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
China is about to launch its first fake moon rover mission on Monday
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
100 bags of soil were brought to London from the battlefields of Belgium, for a garden to commemorate World War I
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
God just bogarted from us a billionaire who was one of the most generous supporters of marijuana legalization efforts in the country. Plus he was the boss of Flo the Progressive Insurance Agent
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Bacon, Beer, and women jumping around? No, you're not dreaming
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
O-o
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Church group handing out free Thanksgiving meals to the homeless at a park was ordered to cease and desist by a park ranger without a soul
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"As Christmas, the most stressful time of year approaches, we must remember the value of grandparents, Rob Ford and knocking yourself unconscious"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Longmont Times-Call)
 
 
 
Offering topless hairstyling to customers? No problem. Without a cosmetology license? We've got a problem
source: timescall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Slow Death: Traditional families are dying in America. We're going down anyway, might as well be all the way down
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 29, 2013
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Bishop dresses as homeless man and visits his church's service on Thanksgiving. Tag is for his congregation
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
While Denver airport and police officials were downplaying baggage thefts during a live news interview a bag was being stolen a few feet from where they were standing
source: denver.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Seven Japanese men arrested for getting buck naked at Chinese restaurant and taking selfies of their dumplings
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It's closing time. Hurry 'n' finish ya beers. Chop-chop
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
There's drunk, and then there's "steal a newspaper truck to flee from zombies" drunk
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The US nuclear missile codes during the Cold War were either never moved from the default setting or made up by president Skroob
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this NASA rollout
source: www-pao.ksc.nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The University of Colorado to name two dorms after female rappers
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
Woman lights boyfriend's underpants on fire, presumably because he was a liar liar (or because he wouldn't buy her cigarettes)
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la, la la la la. Fight at Walmart, oh by golly. Fa la la la la, la la la la
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The future of flight: still only one complimentary beverage, but sex and spas galore
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
You wreck your hummer breaking your girlfriend's pelvis. Do you: a) wait for emergency services, b) drive her to the hospital, or c) stuff her in a convenient attic?
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Rasta Say, Mon, Heads Be Bangin'. Warheads that is
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian woman denied entry into the U.S. due to depression. Not certain if she was depressed going to the States or depressed from having to deal with U.S. customs officials
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRDO Colorado Springs)
 
 
 
Teenagers throw homeless man out of airplane
source: krdo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adweek)
 
 
 
Theme: Take a famous picture and turn it into a selfie
source: adweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz: Black Friday edition
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Starbucks involved in venti collision with SUV
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Black Friday Death Count)
 
 
 
... father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my holiday savings, in this life or the next
source: blackfridaydeathcount.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
The only reason you're fat is because your home is too warm
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Social Reader)
 
 
 
"Mongolians bravely swallow a glass of pickled sheep eyeballs mixed into tomato juice to chase away their morning-after blues." And other instant-classic hangover cures
source: socialreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your birthday is in September there's a good chance that means you were conceived because your mom was too drunk during the holidays to remember to take her birth control
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Recently completed study concludes that the dynamics of the academia job market is most similar to (a) professional sports, (b) Silicon Valley, or (c) a drug gang
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Can't afford to stay in line during Black Friday in the cold Alaskan weather? Make a placeholder mannequin
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 59)
 
 
 
Caught on video: two police officers hold down grandfather while he's shot in the back with a Taser by another officer... all in front of a gathering of schoolchildren
source: fox59.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
For $1.35 million you can live in a replica of the Alamo, complete with historically accurate basement
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Remember how you treated yourself to a vacation in Singapore for a wild, guilt-free, sex-filled romp so you could get it all out of your system so you could return home and get back to your regular life without any emotional baggage? About that
source: yourhealth.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Dog falls in love with goose, gets down
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL (UK))
 
 
 
The 10 sexiest towns in Britain - the Irish community of Bangor is number one, Leaver a close second
source: travel.aol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stoke Sentinel)
 
 
 
Nothing quite says I love you like chasing your partner down the street with a chainshaw while she's wearing just a towel
source: stokesentinel.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Can it really qualify as a "Hunger Games" themed wedding if they don't make the ring-bearer and flower-girl fight to the death during the reception?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Long Island woman born with a deformity says she would give an arm and a leg to wear high heels. Well, a leg anyway
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Woman files lawsuit after hiding drugs in the one place she thought a corrections officer couldn't snatch it away
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
The most terrifying outhouse in the world sits on the edge of an 8,500-foot high cliff and only fiive people in the world are brave enough to use it (pic)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
North Carolina police seize 76 pot plants, or as Denver residents call it: a nice front-yard garden
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Here's a pro-Qtip: Your ears might need to be cleaned if there's a dandelion growing in your ear canal
source: yourhealth.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
New York takes down all of its signs reminding dog owners to clean up after their dogs, because if there's one thing that's true about New Yorkers, it's that they never need to be told more than once
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Cool tradeshow: International Association of Amusement Parks where you can test new rides like Ms. Eye Candy
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOPA)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to steal an airplane and pretend it's yours, don't keep it in Thief River Falls, Minnesota
source: aopa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Ok so the world is about to end, what do we need to survive? 1000 tins of baked beans: check. 100 gallons of water: check. Half a tonne of weed: check
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Good day, eh. I'm crackalactic Toronto mayor Bob Ford and this is my brother Doug - and welcome to our new online show
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
If you've taken ten Ambien, you should reconsider taking your six year old for a drive
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Cop lets driver out of Thanksgiving speeding ticket in exchange for revving up his $100,000 car, immediately dubbed the coolest cop in the world after the pot-smoking Mountie (vid)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Old and Busted: Road rage. New Hotness: Pavement rage
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
You may think you ate a disgusting amount of food at one sitting this week, but this dude in Ireland has you beat. Plus he was trying to choke down Irish food, so the degree of difficulty was exponentially higher (pic)
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The best, coolest and most poignant GI Zippo lighters from the Vietnam war
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pink News UK)
 
 
 
German cops are now eating criminals in the most successful crime-prevention strategy imaginable
source: pinknews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
You ever wish you could just tell off the loud, obnoxious passenger in 7A? Well, this guy just did so. And it's amazing
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Pope Francis is irritating hardline Catholics after his decision to ramp up the Vatican's charity office and orders bishops and priests to spend more time with the poor and sick because, y'know, it's kind of what Jesus did back in the day
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
There's sex and then there's 'broke the bed, curtain rod and window sill' kind of sex
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
So that feeding-your-enemy-to-pigs thing from 'Snatch' really does happen from time to time: ""It was satisfying to hear him scream...Mamma mia, how he squealed, but I couldn't give a s---"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Artist builds a 98-foot tall sculpture of a creepily majestic horse in a Scottish park. Your move, Denver International Airport
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The lesson to learn from Black Friday: Shopping is a sport, and corporations are better at it than any of us
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Getting shot behind the wheel of your car while dragging a police officer through a Kohl's parking lot after shoplifting is no way to go through Black Friday, son
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
You think those pics of shoppers fighting in Walmart are crazy? Wait till you see a group of workers set one of its supply factories on fire
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kokomo Tribune)
 
 
 
We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow
source: kokomotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop one of Milwaukee's best
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The good news: Your cats do recognize your voice. The bad news: They don't care
source: mobile.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when your pregnant mistress confronts your bride at the wedding
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
It's about time somebody asks the question: Are credit cards evil?
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
When will people learn that the only hit men found online are undercover police?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVVA Beckley)
 
 
 
A man brought a knife to a gun fight and won. Bonus: They were fighting over a parking space at Walmart
source: wvva.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Moose Jaw Times Herald)
 
 
 
Fourth teenage "Black Dragon" gangbanger arrested in Moose Jaw home invasion and bear-spray attack. Local cop credits rise of Saskatchewan gang life to MTV videos, television and hipster music
source: mjtimes.sk.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
The Detroit News pauses on Thanksgiving to look back at some egregious automotive turkeys
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Twelve year-old girl breaks from the crowd at the Macy's Parade to loudly proclaim that the SeaWorld float is wrong and they need to "stop mistreating Orcas." Police returned the girl to her mother, who clearly put her up to it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tico Times)
 
 
 
Introducing the CambYoCar: the first car designed and built in Costa Rica. No matter what you're thinking, it's worse than you think. It's made of balsa wood and sheet aluminum, for instance
source: ticotimes.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Genius plays prank on his sister by calling her and telling her she has a bomb in her car. Freeway shutdown for 3 hrs while cops investigate
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
A water main break awakens a sinkhole that realizes it's Thanksgiving and eats a police cruiser. Sinkhole then ruins Thanksgiving for the rest of the neighborhood by forcing officials to issue a boil water advisory
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWK Charleston)
 
 
 
Man with an unfortunate name arrested in purse snatching incident
source: wowktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Suspect is pants-less, repeat, pants-less. And on fire
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Happy Thanksgiving: a new aggressive strain of HIV discovered in West Africa, and it progresses to full-blown AIDS two years faster. Yes...SuperAIDS is here
source: healthland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
"After being discharged from the hospital, Roberts refused to get dressed, according to the complaint, twice fighting the officer while naked"
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dvice)
 
 
 
That? Oh, don't worry about that. That's just my anti-collision goldfish tank
source: dvice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Headlines pre-written for Fark: Commandos charged over Jedi Council sex ring
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 28, 2013
(Metro)
 
 
 
Uh, don't look now but England is in the middle of a pretty nasty clown epidemic
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Some lucky bastard who got a promotional lottery ticket from a store in Texas scores $5 million
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Shopaholic. New hotness: Returnaholic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if hundreds of thousands of beers cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened. You'd better get on with your Thanksgiving drinking"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
The secret benefits of masturbation that no one talks about
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this passionate purchaser
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man crosses tightrope with safety harness tied to his genitals. Subby would say he's nuts, but those seem to be pretty secure, at the moment (Not safe for work)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
Firefighters called to a high school to show off the 'Jaws of Life' on A) an old wrecked car B) a turned over school bus or C) a girl who got herself stuck in a locker
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I'll see your Pizza Hut manager fired for closing the store on Thanksgiving, and raise you a Pizza Hut manager keeping the store open to provide free meals to anyone who wants one
source: chestertownspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News One)
 
 
 
Will there be a fight at ToysRUs? Will BestBuy run out of $23 USB cables? What will the restroom line be like on Thanksgiving? What store do the hot chicks camp out at? Its the official Black Friday thread. Action kicks off at Walmart Thursday 6PM ET
source: newsone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Woman dies of drug overdose while partying with boyfriend to celebrate new job. Fark: As a drug counselor
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It's On: China sends warplanes to newly declared air defense zone, expects all planes transiting the zone to file flight plans and identify themselves, or face "defensive emergency measures"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Oklahoma angler catches what probably would be a record rainbow trout in the Missouri Ozarks, names it "Troutzilla". Then promtply lets it go to swim again. With photos of course. Hero tag for catch & release
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Happy Farksgiving, crazy chow hounds. Show us your spread
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Meanwhile in Canada: Mountie wants right to smoke pot publicly in uniform, legally change name to Dudley Doobright
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big bit
source: 24.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
NASA's live feed of comet ISON approaching the sun. Will it melt? Will it shatter? Will it put on a spectacular show or will it be a big dud? And what about Naomi?
source: plus.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Thanks to Thanksgiving, you're not the only one too big and misproportioned to have sex
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ozy)
 
 
 
History's 10 most accomplished drunks - present company notwithstanding
source: ozy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
This list of seven things the world is running out of is.... *checks list* ... NOOOOOOOOO
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Conflicted over which gaming system to get your children this Christmas, the Xbox One or the Playstation 4? Well, fret not: Santa Claus's top elf Ric Romero settles the debate for you
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KAJ 18 Kalispell)
 
 
 
Montana's "you kill it, you grill it" law allowing residents to collect and eat roadkilled animals has gone into effect, just in time for Thanksgiving. What kind of stuffing goes best with moose?
source: kaj18.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
If teachers in Nashville ever want a raise, they better make friends with the principal. And feed kids the right answers. And make sure students do just as well next year as they did this year
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Score one for the spend-Thanksgiving-at-home team: A Pizza Hut general manager in Indiana who says he was fired for refusing to open the store today has been told he can have his job back if he wants it
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Family of 10-year-old cancer patient flees the United States so a.) she can get a second opinion, b.) she can get treatment, or c.) she *can't* get treatment?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Newly rolled out government web site crashes under the load, leaving many without...food stamps
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Experts estimate the average American will have a 5,000-calorie Thanksgiving dinner, nap, this year
source: caloriecontrol.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Matters)
 
 
 
Waitress fired for calling police on breastfeeding mother boozing it up. It's like the perfect storm for Fark headlines
source: arkansasmatters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guyyyy)
 
 
 
Not news: Italian guy found happily wandering the countryside. News: After taking mushrooms at Glastonbury. Fark: Two years ago
source: wunderground.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
"Son, have you ever been arrested?" A Thanksgiving Tradition: 1967's "Alice's Restaurant", in its entirety
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British newspaper tries to explain the concept of American Thanksgiving and Black Friday to its baffled readers
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The results are in, and we have a clear winner for the prize of "dumbest headline you'll ever read"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Florida looks to ban smoking in automobiles while driving with children. Drinking, texting, shooting at passing cars still okay
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
New York City proposes 20 mph speed limit. Drivers of cars, taxis, buses remain unaffected
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
In the War on Christmas™ this is the Jewish Dunkirk. Hanukkah has retreated to safer territory of November and its better prices on Black Friday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
The science behind why you shouldn't worry about raking the leaves in your yard and instead stay inside watching football all day
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Welcome to Amerika 2013 where setting a toilet paper holder on fire in the bathroom of your high school will get you branded as a terrorist
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Thanksgiving menu in Alaska: Sheefish cut with a bandsaw, salmonberry pie, salmon casserole, moose-head soup, walrus stew, and seal ribs
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Photoshop these penguins under a heatmap
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
The city of Houston will now allow strippers at local strip clubs to dance completely topless without pasties for the annual price of **puts pinkie finger to lips** one million dollars
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
No the cockenthrice isn't a new sex act, it's the new turducken. Only weirder looking
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Starpulse)
 
 
 
The current favorite to be named Time Magazine's Person of the Year is: A) Pope Francis; B) Rob Ford; C) Miley Cyrus
source: starpulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
8,000 monarch butterflies fluttering in Pacific Grove, California. Their leader The Monarch and Mrs. The Monarch could not be reached for comment
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Protip: If you are going to rob a bank, and you have been robbing banks for a while, make sure you don't rob a bank where police are in said bank investigating the possibility that you might rob said bank. Bank
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJCT 8 Grand Junction)
 
 
 
The Denver Zoo welcomes a ugly-ass baby Gerenuk named Stitch
source: kjct8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
A Washington couple is offering a $1000 reward for the return of their 1970 Barracuda that they consider a member of their family. "We miss it a lot. It's very emotional"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Parents who care about their kids will build them tree houses
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The 10 best books of 2013, and you haven't read a single one of them
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Seems the waitress that lied about the anti-gay slur on customer's credit card receipt has a long history of lying, including seeing combat duty in Iraq or Afghanistan
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
A list of items for a Thanksgiving meal in 1929 cost $7.89 in 1929 dollars, or $107.35 in today's dollars. But to buy the exact same items in 2013, the total would only be $38.03. Enjoy your blown mind
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Step one: Buy graveyard. Step two: Make a fake headstone for everyone in town. Step three: Profit??
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Finally, the greatest debate of our age is settled: What is better, Fresh Pumpkin Pie or Canned Pumpkin Pie? Trick question: the answer is Pecan Pie
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 447: "If I had a Hammer: Tools Two". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 27, 2013
(Slate)
 
 
 
Everything is hackable. Even your refrigerator
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Problem: Teen dies after overdosing on Ecstasy and allergy medicine while attending a concert. Solution: Ban alcohol sales at restaurants
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
It's Thanksgiving, that magical time of year when college freshmen return home to dump their high school sweethearts
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Twerking. Not stupid enough for you already? Twerking on subway tracks
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you find a good deal for that new PS4 your son wants for Christmas on Craigslist only to find out it's really a box full of towels?
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tiny TWA terminal
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
New owners of sawmill property hassle nearby residents, try to push them out. Just kidding; they revive mill's tradition of handing out Thanksgiving turkeys, and enlist members of college's football team to help dole out the birds
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The Eight Worst Mistakes Made by the Allies in WWII. Missing from list: Allowing Germany to bomb Pearl Harbor
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Flying your drone into a prison yard to drop tobacco products is frowned upon by the State of Georgia
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Not news: A club of old white men in rural Ohio. Still not news: members include a newspaper editor and low-level elected officials. Fark: busted for public indecency in a park
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Phones don't shoot upskirt photos, people shoot upskirt photos
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WVEC)
 
 
 
Apparently there are a few people out there that didn't get the memo so I'm going to say this one more time. Never, never, NEVER buy a house in a community with a HOA
source: wvec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Authorities in Beijing have destroyed more than 500 open-air barbecues "to cut PM2.5" - the tiny particulate matter in the air that can enter deep into the lungs. Yeah that ought to help
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Henry Earl Thanksgiving Special
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
15-year-old arrested after smoking hot teacher put out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
God's so disappointed in Florida, he's throwing rocks at it
source: thesent.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these boys rowing a refrigerator
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOLO TV Reno)
 
 
 
Event that draws rich people out to watch other rich people race vintage aircraft only rich people can afford now asking for donations
source: kolotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Want a pay raise? Move to Ukraine
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Speculative greed bolstered by a contemporary utopian cyberlibertarian ideology" So, what you're saying is this is a sound investment?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut general manager fired for refusing to make employees work on Thanksgiving, a day on which no one is eating Pizza Hut
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Wonder, excitement as Canada awakes to a strange white powdery substance coating the land
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If the cops pull you over for erratic driving, don't try to get out of the ticket by arguing you were asleep and not sure what the problem is, officer
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
After chasing out one restaurant owner who was gay, tiny Manitoba town decides it doesn't like the black owner of a Jamaican takeout. In related news, someone thought it would be a terrific idea to open a jerk place in the middle of a jerk town (pic)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Turns out that shields made of vibranium can hold off a Skrull attack, the downside is that it is apparently toxic to children
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Neatorama)
 
 
 
Remember when drinking radioactive water was a cure for all that ails you? Good times
source: neatorama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
George Takei unveils new celebrity fragrance. EAU MY
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
You're more likely to die from an Australian rip tide than you are by Australian bushfires, cyclones, floods and sharks combined. Or you could just avoid Australia completely and live forever
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Couple fighting to keep their kids after authorities say the barn-like conditions the couple has are unsatisfactory
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Congressman seeks to give medical marijuana patients the right to buy guns
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Des Moines, Iowa debates putting fluoride in its water, which has been proven to help strengthen teeth and reduce bacteria in the mouth, but some still fear it is a secret Communist plot designed to control their thoughts
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RealClear)
 
 
 
Communists enraged about giant Louis Vuitton suitcase on Red Square, but they are fine with mass murderer Lenin there
source: realclear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Friendly reminder: Don't believe everything you read on the internet. Except on Fark, where everything is absolutely, 100% certified true-blue Truth with a capital T
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Reason #943 not to attempt an arrest in a neonatal care unit
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
CONSUME
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Just because you play "tying up games" with your teenage students that leads to bondage and drug sessions doesn't mean your conduct IS totally unprofessional as a teacher. OK, maybe
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
The majority of Americans believe women should have their first child by 25, regardless of whether or not they are financially prepared, married, or even want children
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
Woman, who apparently never heard of the internet where better deals usually await, camps out in front of Best Buy for three days for a $500 TV
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Florida, jealous of Toronto's crack-smoking mayor, gives you the Oxycodone-dealing mayor
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Pope: Church needs to embrace Farkers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
New Walmart CEO has worked at the store since 1984. His new promotion will bump his salary up to $10.52 an hour
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Disfigured man whose embrace with Pope Francis went viral gives interview, is often mistaken for a hubbard squash
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
There's "stab your boyfriend in the throat and shoot him in the head then blame him for abusing you" crazy then there's "threaten to put a hit out on the prosecutor for denying your love" crazy. Sometimes there's both
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
Swedish 'threat' of invasion if topless gravedigger Ray doesn't get job back
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mainstream Media finally waking up to the fact that tryptophan in turkey has nothing to do with making you sleepy. Watching the Lions play football is the real reason, obviously
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Chicago Atheists unveil giant "A." Made of Christmas lights
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spa snail
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Wienermobile non-Freudian slip is a repeat from 2008
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Orlando)
 
 
 
What does it say about your neighborhood when it might be leveled so the city can put drainage ponds in its place?
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Father of the year candidate cheers on his son in a "consensual fight", then when his son is losing jumps in and attacks the other kid
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Sun)
 
 
 
IT'S called the NB Index - (stands for Numb Butt) - and it's a traveller's latest weapon in the fight for happier glutes. There's an NBI score for everything from 747s to ultralights
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Football Game ✓ Free Sandwiches ✓ Prostate Screenings ✓ Must be a guys night out.... Wait, what was that last thing again?
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ariel Castro II: Electric Boogaloo
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wire)
 
 
 
There once was a time that the floats in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade weren't just inflated billboards for lousy kid movies and cartoons, back in the day they were just plain creepy
source: thewire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 26, 2013
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Twelve-year-old girl is threatened with expulsion because: A) She brought a gun to school, B) She wont stop beating up the other kids, or C) She is refusing to cut her natural afro hair that gets her bullied
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
So you grew a mustache for Movember? Congratulations, now the editor of the University of Toronto's student newspaper would like to let you know that you're "sexist, racist, transphobic, and misinformed"
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The Windsor penis bush sculptor has struck again
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Student allows others to slap him in exchange for cash. In other news, teen charged with assault
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRON 4)
 
 
 
Man arrested for attacking man who peed on his rug. In all fairness, the rug did tie the whole room together
source: news.kron4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
One brave Canadian filmmaker is braving the notorious Youtube comment sections in pursuit of an impossible dream: to find a worthwhile post
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
Bad: A house catches on fire. Worse: Trapping a mother and her 2 daughters, one of which is in a wheelchair and can't go out the door because of the fire. Awesome: 2 neighbors come to the rescue and get everyone out safely
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Illegal immigrant held in Arizona 'choked and stomped his cellmate to death so he could stay in custody because he likes it in prison'
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Scorned wife renames neighborhood pub in 'honor' of her cheating husband, calls it "Paul...I am divorcing you"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
In case you missed it, here's the most offensive JFK assassination-related ad ever produced. Once you look at it, you're probably going to hell
source: copyranter.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Five passengers killed as the driver attempted to 'fly' his car on the hilly section of a rural road also known as 'thrill hills'. Probably should have gone 'cow tipping' instead
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(96.5 The Fox)
 
 
 
Your girlfriend turns down your marriage proposal because of your small penis. What do you do? You make a documentary about your small penis, of course
source: 965thefox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
How to get fired from BuzzFeed: 1) Be old 2) Fight trolls 3) Not know how to make a .gif 4) Drumming 5) Challenge editors 6) complain about cleanliness 7) Ronald McDonald blowjobs 8) you suck 9) criticize ads 10) being hired in the first place
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Some think that the answer to Mexico's violence is more exorcisms. "We have to be discreet [with exorcisms] or else we may be ridiculed, even by our own followers,". Others believe the solution is simply more cowbell
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soldier phoning it in
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Heather has two mommies, and a daddy, and a nightly threesome in the room next door, and lots of therapy later on in life
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Grandmother of nine becomes great-grandma - at 28 years old (pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDAY Fargo)
 
 
 
Looks like oil isn't the only thing being drilled in North Dakota
source: wday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Photo of the farking gigantic winter storm engulfing the US right now
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced your high school geography student with an average Brit. Can you tell the difference?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Page Six)
 
 
 
Shrill and derisive TV network fires host for being shrill and derisive
source: pagesix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I'm suing you because I threw down a banana peel and slipped on it (with video)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upworthy)
 
 
 
Here's what women would have to look like to wear actual designer clothes. Wow, sharp everything (pic)
source: upworthy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man beats bear to death with rock. Subby wonders where he got the stones
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parkour, the French martial art of running away, leaves 15-year-old Californian boy in coma
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Investigative journalist discovers pizza is "a flat food featuring cheese and tomato sauce"
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Indiana Times)
 
 
 
Homeowner: "Hey, your piles of industrial slag are filling my house with dust and pelting my car with grit." Slag owner: "You're just complaining because industrial slag is a dirty word"
source: nwitimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Post)
 
 
 
Protesters in Thailand, who have occupied several ministries, call their leader a 'Stupid Crab B*tch Water Buffalo Face'
source: globalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
IL judge expedites same-sex marriage for couple, one of whom is terminally ill with two types of cancer. Tag is for the judge
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
It's normally not nice to laugh at somebody who just slipped and fell to the ground. Unless that person is a news anchor rushing to get back to the studio
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you return home only to find your parents laying flowers on your grave? Yea, I hate it when that happens too
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Dead Sea duo
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HyperVocal)
 
 
 
Never change, Georgia. Oh wait, actually, change
source: hypervocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDAY Fargo)
 
 
 
Fargin Ice Holes
source: wday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Supreme Court to decide if you can use your religion as an excuse to make health decisions for your employees
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Man with ironic name has throat cancer
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Former Weiner text-mistress to sell excess lady parts. Yep, that headline isn't going to get any more asinine than that
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Power Of Love: 'Earlier this year, Mark, who transitioned in 2003, helped Jessica find the confidence to remove her testicles.'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Wire)
 
 
 
Those Black Friday deals aren't really products "on sale", so much as they're products from which stores have removed their usual "for suckers only" mark-up
source: thewire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
US flies nuclear bombers over China. It's been nice knowing you. Most of you. Some of you
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Hi, my name is Eric. See my face, vehicle and license plate number? Good, I'll be back in an hour to rob the joint
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News On 6 Tulsa)
 
 
 
"Dear Penthouse, It was just a normal day. I was driving my usual UPS route, making my deliveries, when"
source: newson6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Boy killed in tornado last May shows up in recent photo. I'm not saying it's a ghost, but, it's a ghost
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AskMen)
 
 
 
"Women simply don't care about size. There will be the odd ones who say it is very important, but they are usually the ones who love aggressive sex. For women, penises are marvelous toys, and no matter what they look like, they will excite women"
source: askmen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 5 Las Vegas)
 
 
 
As God as my witness, I didn't know turkeys could write citations for $324 for crosswalk violations
source: fox5vegas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
92-year-old man stopped from buying vodka because he did not: A) Have enough money. B) Wrong time of day. C) Have ID proving he was of age
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
So, about WHO's report that half of Greece's new HIV infections were deliberately self-inflicted to gain government benefits? The funny thing is, the plural of anecdote is not "data"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Social Reader)
 
 
 
It's a "permanent reality-show" where all the cashiers, barbers, waiters and waitresses in this quaint town are trained in handling the disease. Even the medical staff can play the part of domestic staff
source: socialreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
America may be farting 50% more than previously thought
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
George Zimmerman wants to take all his guns and move from Florida to Texas. Florida says, "Oh, thank God. Finally"
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Newegg trolled
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
One weird trick to driving with a BAC of 0.13, running someone over, and not getting arrested: make sure you're behind the wheel of a fire truck
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water after all these 'sea monster' stories that have been in the news lately, along comes another one
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Remember Steve Irwin, the Australian adventurer who was like a more deranged Crocodile Dundee? Well turns out his zoo has the same reckless attitude to safety he did
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
New study reveals people in Iowa are drinking more liquor than ever. This is great news for Fark headlines
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
Warning: The man selling gold bars outside Walmart is neither affiliated with Walmart nor selling gold bars
source: wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vintage Everyday)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here are some pics of women floating over Paris in giant bubbles
source: vintag.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fort Wayne Journal Gazette)
 
 
 
Scorn a woman and hell hath no fury. Arm her with a knife and cooking pot, and neither you nor your car are safe
source: journalgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Married couples having less sex than ever, proving that marriage is all about finding someone you can learn to hate and buying them a house
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter