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Sun November 17, 2013
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
What happens to a (probably innocent) 14 year old after spending 16 years in solitary confinement? A) They find Jesus B) get a PhD in philosophy C) severe, untreated mental illness
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Now)
 
 
 
Chicago stole many things from NYC. First, pizza. Then murder capital of the US. Now, they've got the nude subway riders (Not safe for work)
source: chicagonow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Not only did $300 million+ Powerball winner renege on promise to cover neighbor's rents, he skipped out on his own: "It doesn't get any lower than that"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Saying eating apple cores is unsafe is not just false, it's costing Americans $13.2 billion dollars a year not eating them"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Time travel tourists
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hamilton Journal-News)
 
 
 
In Ohio, auto workers are protected by union contracts from being disciplined if they show up for work drunk, and are allowed to suck on a breath mint before a breathalyzer test. Just kidding - it's not auto workers, it's actually cops
source: journal-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
You know what parents of ADHD children hate? Being told ADHD doesn't exist and they're just making it up. Though to be fair, twenty-five years ago that wasn't even a classified "illness;" it was just kids being kids
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Lecture classes didn't work when they came to prominence in the Middle Ages, and they don't work today, claims someone who never paid attention in class
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Sign warning of man/sheep sex shows up on WBBM-TV tornado broadcast, while the Bears game was delayed
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Police detain man's pit bull because a woman alleged the dog bit her. And after almost a year, the man is still fighting to get his dog back; "I'm an only child. I don't have children of my own. That dog is like my kid. She never bit anyone"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thrillist)
 
 
 
A state-by-state guide to banned foods in the US
source: thrillist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Only Jenny McCarthy can save 20 million Middle East children condemned to be poisoned by polio vaccines
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Coming soon: a lot of new Filipino restaurants, eh
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pacific Standard Magazine)
 
 
 
Over half of today's teenagers are considered undateable by their peer group
source: psmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFF Huntsville)
 
 
 
Remember the young elk featured in a viral online video playfully head-butting a photographer, which has been viewed more than a million times and featured on national news shows? Well authorities killed it
source: waff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Unbearably cute photos show toddler and pup nap routine. Since this is Fark I'm sure we'll have the Debbie Downers lined up to cite health hazards of the filthy beast or other criticisms
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this happy tippler
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pacific Standard Magazine)
 
 
 
Americans are buying fewer cars, driving fewer miles, and buying less gas. But they still won't take public transportation
source: psmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Meet the man who has over 2,000 Pez dispensers, "I used to collect comics, but that got way too expensive"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Boeing airliner crashes in Russian city of Kazan, 50 killed
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Man with heart condition who was zapped by police for not putting a leash on his dog quickly enough has decided not to sue. No, I'm just kidding. Of course he's suing
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Michael plays with model trains. Michael is 60. Michael is divorced
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
NO HOT CHOCOLATE FOR YOU; SoCal's commuter railroad cancels their annual 50,000 light-covered "Holiday Toy Express"
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Daily Sun)
 
 
 
War on Christmas rolls through Flagstaff on its way to D.C
source: azdailysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
The faster you drive, the faster Maryland police can hack into your smartphone
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The United States need to raise the smoking age to 21
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
So it begins. U.S. Navy drone "malfunctions" and crashes into ship, injuring two
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
California takes down ten fake Obamacare websites. Officials say they were easy to spot since all had signed up more people for health insurance than the real website
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Vine (Australia))
 
 
 
It's a meal designed to offend. Feast your eyes upon the Douche Burger, a burger made of wagyu beef, topped with foie gras and slathered in three different sauces - jalapeno, lime, mayo
source: thevine.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Residents in Anchorage are upset over a road plan that would connect to streets because the project will swallow up green space. As if there's not enough green space in Alaska
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Holy party pooper Batman, San Francisco politician "Mars" Batkid's big day
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
White suburbia learns that all their children are not above average (no word on whether the women are strong and the men are good looking)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
There can be only one suspect in Los Angeles sword slaying
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
She has a high forehead, a small nose, and a soft jaw. Are we talking about one of the world's most beautiful woman, or a silver fox running wild across the Russian countryside?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NOAA)
 
 
 
High risk for severe weather Sunday for parts of the Midwest. "Significant tornadoes" expected
source: spc.noaa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cat and wall art into something more interesting
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The cute part is that Madonna actually thinks Vladimir Putin will listen to her demands that he release political prisoners
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
You can tell the economy is getting better now that more and more prostitutes are using private apartments instead of budget motel rooms to conduct business
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
JFK's assassination and the Umbrella Man: an interesting look at facts, red herrings, and conspiracy theories
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What kind of shiathole are you in when garbage preserved by sewage is considered a major archaeological find?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
How serious is the Iranian nuke threat? Serious enough to get the Israelis and Saudis into bed together
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Urban hens: Ova and out
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Slow news day: Firefighters rescue raccoon that got its head stuck in a jar (w/pic)
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Judge allows serial sexual assualt suspect to use the "evil twin" defense
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 16, 2013
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Never get your hand stuck in a Pringles can again
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Anti-conspiracy" JFK conspiracy expert admits there's one theory he can't debunk
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The 10 companies paying employees the least. On the list: everywhere you spend money
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
"Police responded to reports of a group of people fighting with baseball bats and machetes"
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Institute of Tech)
 
 
 
Photoshop these waste watchers
source: rit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pacific Standard Magazine)
 
 
 
High school dropouts better hope they have computer skills, otherwise not even McDonald's will hire them
source: psmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Police discover 557 pounds of marijuana concealed in shipment of cactus leaves, promptly seize all 457 pounds (w/pic of the 357 pounds of marijuana)
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sorry Union Workers, six weeks of paid time off each year is too expensive, excessive
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Jury awards teacher $363,000 in damages after students and family ran a smear campaign against him, calling him a "perv". "One of the girls -- who was 11 years old at the time -- acted with malice and is liable for punitive damages"
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Okay, lungs are coming out now
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Coffee, citrus, and nuts help cut the risk of Type 2 diabetes. Coffee--is there anything it can't do?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Scientists did not kill the clam while looking at its age. We now return you back to the Daily Fail, where OhMaGerd is real news to them dammit
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Lady of the Woods
source: farm4.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Want a college education without crushing student debt? Did you know other countries have universities too? Enrollment in foreign colleges triples in the past few years
source: iie.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
It's impossible to put a price on a cop shooting your dog for no reason. One million dollars rolls off the tongue quite nicely, though
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
There's an ugly divorce, and then there's moving next door to your ex-wife and installing a giant middle finger facing her property
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Strategy Page)
 
 
 
The Russian military discovers socks
source: strategypage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
War hero banned from veteran's parade for being too old
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"The officer did not fully understand [his blackface] costume would be interpreted as racist." This just in: Georgia deputy sheriffs are dumber than a bag of hammers
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Carlsbad Current Argus)
 
 
 
'Halloween Hall' at Carlsbad Caverns is biggest area discovered in more than 25 years
source: currentargus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Blocks on internet will begin next year, and 20 million users will have to make a choice whether or not they want access to such filth." And if you don't want to read this article, on the sidebar there are bikini and Victoria's Secret models
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
The newest battleground of school discipline -- suspending kids in pre-K
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
LSD was first synthesized 75 years ago today by Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann at his lab in purple monkey dishwasher unicorn I can taste the sunshine, man
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(List Wins)
 
 
 
A former NFL cheerleader accused of following a 12-year-old boy into a bathroom, fondling his penis and offering him oral sex has been spared jail
source: listwns.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
The good news is that fewer high school students are smoking cigarettes. The bad news is more high school students are smoking cigars, pipes, electronic cigarettes and hookahs
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
What unexpected science projects did you discover on National Clean Out Your Fridge Day?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
I don't care if it rains or freezes as long as I've got my concrete Jesus
source: now.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The infernal screech you just heard that sounded like a haunted wail racing up from the bowels of Hades was merely Nancy Grace reacting to the news that a judge has banned live TV coverage of the Jodi Arias retrial
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New York City psychic gets prison in six figure scam case. Judge rules that taking people's money without actually doing anything to help them is only permissible if you have a psychiatry degree
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
If your doctor asks "What's your sign?" he or she isn't trying to hit on you; new studies indicate that your birth month can determine what maladies you may be struck with
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bachman 'gater overdrive
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Photoshop this budding artist and his model
source: pbs.twimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark in the Fall - Columbus, OH - 11/16/2013 - Drew will be there
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Perhaps the cutest crippled pony you will see all day, but it is recovering nicely
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Experts: US Army robots will outnumber human soldiers 10 to 1 by 2023. Did these farking people miss the farking Terminator movies or what?
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thought Catalog)
 
 
 
Cats are furry little superheroes. Well, of course they are ... up, up and away ... to Caturday
source: thoughtcatalog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teen uses fake I.D. and credit card to get breast implants, cops hoping for huge bust
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stoke Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're going to steal laptops from work and sell them on eBay it's probably an idea not to use an account in your own name
source: stokesentinel.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duffel Blog)
 
 
 
I'm pretty sure every veteran on Fark will back me up and say, "yes, this is exactly what would happen if the military was issued light sabers"
source: duffelblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inventorspot)
 
 
 
Old hotness: Black leather for bikers. New and busted: Snuggies for scooter commuters
source: inventorspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehigh Valley Live)
 
 
 
No officer, those aren't bricks of coke. Those are bricks of my homemade soap
source: lehighvalleylive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Foster child found handcuffed to porch with dead chicken around neck
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 15, 2013
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Sully crashes into a river and becomes an American hero and aviation safety "expert." I safely land on a rural highway and get A BILL FROM THE STATE? ... Bogus
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Man makes explosives from things purchased in post-security-check airport stores. You are not helping
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Maybe you shouldn't have drunk his milkshake
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today's Outrage: Burt's Bees apologizes for body lotion that invites catcalls. No Vanilla Flame Body Butter for you
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The FBI says Anonymous has secretly accessed computers of the U.S. Army, Department of Energy, Department of Health and Human Services, and perhaps many more agencies
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man working at an analog computer from 1968
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
LA Police: "Hey, this TSA agent still has a pulse. Let's let him bleed out for over a half an hour so we can bump these charges up to a murder rap"
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Apparently there's a vas deferens between artistry and hooliganism
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Kenyan and friends run down a couple of cheetahs. This is why they win our marathons
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
From the Fark Department of Humorously Edited Headlines: Rob Ford stripped in council
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Princess Anne suggests it's enjoyable to eat horse. Her brother approves
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
$3000 reward offered for drug dealer who escaped from courthouse. This will probably work considering his associates, because $3000 buys a lot of drugs
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
McFound
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
FARK: Canned Wine
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Forget bears. Forget spiders. Forget killer bees. It's the anacondas that are coming for you
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
The NRA is upset that Glamour magazine dared to honor gunshot survivors Malala Yousafzai, Gabrielle Giffords and a teacher who saved 15 kids at Sandy Hook without a gun
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart customers are taking their business to Dollar stores in search of even lower everyday prices. Thanks, Obama
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
I saw him! I saw him! I saw the Batkid! :)
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
There are many good movies to model your life around. Silence of the Lambs is not one of them
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this invisible beachgoer
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome back, it's time for this week's episode of the Fark Weird News Quiz. At the request of the Board of Education, there will be no references to dancing panda bears or Turkish zombies
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Actual quote: "Them junkies and hippies and food stamps (recipients) and all, they use the library to look at drugs and food stamps (on the Internet). I see them do it"
source: everylibrary.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Homeowner charged in Michigan porch shooting, claims porch was coming right at him
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"For the last four years, Sarah Chrisman has worn a corset on a daily basis. She has also embraced the 19th century, deciding to live a wholly Victorian-era lifestyle", which apparently includes using self-checkout lines at grocery stores. (pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Judge orders breastfeeding woman to nip it
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Cardboard police officer unveiled as latest weapon against speeding two-dimensional cars
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Hey, the post office only lost $5 billion this year. Thanks, Obama
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It turns out that a doctor who claimed to cure cancer and AIDS with urine pills may have misled his patients a little bit
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal Times)
 
 
 
Invasive snail found in Dane County, could spread.... slowly
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Tampa)
 
 
 
"We're not smoking crack" says ad for $29 plane tickets to Toronto. Let the outrage begin
source: tampa.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Mount Cinnabon erupts in Sumatra, glazing entire area with delicious frosting
source: sploid.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The latest craze in self-defense? Bartitsu, which was popularized by Sherlock Holmes and was quite popular in the Victorian era
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salem News 2)
 
 
 
What good is a law license if it doesn't keep you out of jail after pulling a gun in a parking space dispute?
source: salemnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
A sentence NOBODY wanted to see - "Rob Ford's sex talk lights up late night". Sorry for all those vomit-drowned keyboards
source: jam.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Christmas comes earlier every year: Tree sellers already facing charges for cutting 2000 trees on public land
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"Dave's Killer Bread" founder served fifteen years in jail before turning his life around, now delivers organic, whole grain reckless driving and assault
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Toronto area schools have cancelled field trips to City Hall deeming it a "unsafe environment" for kids, apparently they are worried that the kids might encounter something dangerous or age-inappropriate there; like the Mayor
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man falls victim to updated P-P-P-Powerbook scam; gets thrown in jail when he com-p-p-p-plains
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
20-year-old girl wins Britain's horniest student. Her parents must be so proud
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
With the fizzle of the Mayan Apocalypse, the next panic will be over the Viking Apocalypse
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How one conspiracy theorist decided to stop being such an unmitigated moron
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Brazil crowns a new Miss Bum Bum, also known as The Best Butt In Brazil. Why yes, there is video...wait, where are you going? There's more headline to read
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
China: "Go forth and multiply"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Andy Kaufman's last girlfriend assures us all that he is dead because she watched him die
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Oakland is now officially a libertarian paradise
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
A town of less than one square mile in area gave out over 99% of all speeding tickets to non-residents. Ric Romero unavailable for comment
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Google remains the top search site in the U.S., handling 12.9 billion requests in October. 12.8 billion of those searches were for "How the f**k do I get into the Obamacare website?"
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The list of American cities that foreign governments warn their citizens to avoid. Yes, Washington DC is on there. "Don't go to Anacostia, day or night"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Alabama man agrees to remove his wife's grave from his front yard. Says he changed his mind after continually getting turned down for second dates
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Man argues that responsible gun owners should stand up for the Second Amendment, accidentally discharges his firearm, flees the scene
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hurriyet Daily News)
 
 
 
Rob Ford warns that more scandals involving him are to come. For once it's nice to hear a politician making a statement that everyone can believe
source: hurriyetdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
When two cars arrive simultaneously at a four-way intersection, the driver on the left should yield to the driver with the knife
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Turns out that a snack that burns tongues, dyes fingers red, and makes it look like you're shiatting blood is actually harmful to your health
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
US looks into cybersecurity attacks on the Obamacare website. So far, no one has managed to cripple the site as effectively as the people who designed it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Some never-before-seen photos of JFK's final moments
source: lightbox.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Random people were asked to draw a map of the U.S. from memory ... which sadly turned out about as well as one would expect
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Now I remember that 'burglar' who left a selfie on my phone, I actually was trying to get boinked by him after some coffee"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Well it works when Bugs Bunny sticks his finger in the barrel
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
From Drew Curtis' "How To Understand the News Media": When a headline ends with a question mark, the answer is almost always no. Example #1,255,821 to the left
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
The most exciting thing happening in Nebraska today is the grand opening of an outlet mall in Gretna
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
With a purposeful grimace and a terrible sound Bill Maher tell Bostonians to get over the Marathon bombings downtown
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Planning on having a "traditional" Thanksgiving dinner this year? Well, the question really should be how "traditional" do you want to be?
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Well that escalated quickly
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little alien
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"True Atheists" to "Church Atheists": "quit stealing our religion, I mean, our non-religion, dammit"
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
♫If you're feeling kind of cruddy, Just donate with your buddy, And don't send them too much fried food (ow),♫ ♫Aw-wee-oo, Killer Typhoon. Eee-aw-wee Iee-oo Killer Typhoon♫
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Homes continue to collapse into big ass sinkhole, which keeps getting bigger
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Kissing sailor from famous WWII photo still smoochin after all these years, lays the smoochdown on unsuspecting reporter
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
The only thing worse than having your phone stolen is having pictures of the thief and his family show up on your iCloud
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
County employees are buzzing about prosecutor's purchase of two vibrators
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Due to organizational mistake, Al Qaeda militants accidentally behead the wrong person. Heads will roll for this
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine bus driver accused of using Hello Kitty duct tape on unruly students. For some reason people have a problem with that
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Bacon, that is all. Oh my god, #10. How did I never make a bacon taco shell before?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Not news: Paper prints retraction. News: For article from the 1800s. Fark: Calling the Gettysburg address "silly remarks"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study: It's not normal to stop having sex, despite what your wife/husband says
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
A middle school student making fun of a teacher's favorite football team? That an uppercuttin'
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Return To Sender: Ohio couple gives back adopted son ...... after 9 years
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
One of the last remaining Navajo Code Talkers who helped America win World War II died on Veteran's Day
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Meet the smoking hot woman you will never be able to score with. No literally it's physically impossible
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Spanish cyclist fined €100 for eating croissant
source: thelocal.es   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Yo dawg, we heard you like ads
source: defamer.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Woman makes her partner take a lie detector test every time he leaves the house, to prove he's been faithful. She also checks his phone, email accounts and bank statements several times a day. Yeah, she's totally worth it (w/pics)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Hey, what's this handle do?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Today's most-likely-faked "homophobic note instead of a tip on a restaurant check" is courtesy of Bridgewater, NJ
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Expert' claims humans do NOT come from Earth - and sunburn, bad backs and pain during labor prove it. Oddly enough, he just wrote a book that explains everything
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 14, 2013
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Man arrested for shooting robotic deer when it's neither deer nor robot season. With helpful photo of what a robotic deer would look like, if it were an elk
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Man with AK-47 tattooed on his forehead keeps shooting people. If only there were some visible cue that could have tipped authorities off
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Ikea offers $1 million more in disaster aid to Philippines than China. What a swede deal
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
University of Illinois professor is first ever to be stripped of his tenure. He says he did nothing wrong. That email he sent to his students saying he only remembers the names of students he had sex with was just a joke
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DNA Info)
 
 
 
NYC Book Store offers up free showers for the homeless ...... Just kidding, this is NYC, the Strand Book Store uses its sprinkler system to drive away homeless people from beneath its famous red awning
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
If you own a Civil War cannon and enjoy firing it at your neighbors, then you probably don't want to move to Kiantone, New York. Seems the people there are a little uptight and such activity is frowned upon
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Sports of the 22nd Century
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imbibe Magazine)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: No one should have to eat cranberry gelatin out of a can. Stop the madness now and show us how cranberries really ought to be served up. LGT Faux-TFD-sponsored version for Farksgiving
source: imbibemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Just so sick kids won't miss out on what's going on in school, shots fired in Wisconsin children's hospital
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
A reporter interviews a cat about water rate increases. It's not news, it's local news
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Reporter, world's greatest girlfriend, reveals the key to a man's heart
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Hotel in northern Sweden made of entirely frozen water ordered to install fire alarms. Smoke detectors optional
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The K is back on your 401
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If you're concerned that your precious snowflake is falling behind his peers in distinguishing arugula from endive, or Chateauneuf-du-Pape from Cahors, a mere $2500 will get you a nanny consultant and trainer to fix that
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Lake Mary police: We don't have enough evidence to prosecute George Zimmerman for domestic violence. Angela Corey: Whatever, I do what I want
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop these modern hieroglyphs
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
The health insurance industry responds to Obama's proposed ACA fix: "Well I guess we're gonna have to jack up prices then"
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MainStreet)
 
 
 
81% of adults believe that it is too early for retailers to begin playing music that hopes everyone is SIMPLY HAAAAAAAAAAAVING A WONDERFUL CHRISTMASTIME
source: mainstreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Worst motivational speaker since Matt Foley
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Totally fake real-life Ken labels totally fake real-life Barbie as 'a total fake'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
On the list of shiatty ways to die, flipping your tractor into a manure pond has to be pretty close to the top
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Compassion ends where my nostrils begin, apparently
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Honey, please take the car to the mechanic for an oil change and radiator flush. And let him remove that baby while he's at it
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
Take a good long look at the world's largest penis ..................... ...................... ................... ................ ................ .......................... ............... .............. ................. ................. museum
source: blogs.westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
A guide to stopping the incessant need to explain how different things make you feel old
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inside Bay Area)
 
 
 
Felony: Stealing hundreds of identities. Throw away the key: Stealing them from cancer patients while they receive treatment
source: insidebayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Pizza store in Washington robbed by Magneto's creepy little brother
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Almost 400 Canadian kids rescued in child porn bust. That's like 250 kids American
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Up North Live)
 
 
 
We're all about searching for missing people up here in Michigan, unless it's deer season, then fark it
source: upnorthlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
When your fling blows you off after three dates, do you A) move on, B) leave an angry voicemail, or C) start a massive online campaign to tell the world he has a "micro penis"
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Windsor Star)
 
 
 
In this corner we have Pope Francis preaching a message of compassion and tolerance, vs the ultra-traditionalist" Catholics who disrupted a Kristallnacht memorial because the Jews were "defiling" the cathedral by their presence. FIGHT
source: windsorstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudie, my husband is too rich, successful, and caring. That upsets me. How can I make him miserable, too?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Southern drawl named the sexiest accent in North America. Wutch'all thank?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Anti-mob prosecutor in Italy warns the Pope that there are elements out there that would like to have him sleep with the fishes rather than enjoy the Feast of the Seven Fishes
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Florida: Where Cs, Ds, and Fs will get your little snowflake put on the Honor Roll
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Apparently kidnapping your estranged wife for the purposes of exorcism is not illegal
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man attacked cab driver with his didgeridoo over argument over fare. No that's not a euphemism. He actually beat off the cab with his didgeridoo
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancaster Online)
 
 
 
News: Man steals backhoe. FARK: Drives it on major highways 30 miles to Philadelphia
source: lancasteronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad: Blind man gets kicked off a US Airways flight because his service dog was allegedly being disruptive. Cool: Rest of the passengers revolt and the flight is cancelled
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Police officers raise awareness for men's health issues, end up looking like the Village People. With pic
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when you turn in the wrong dog for euthanasia
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upworthy)
 
 
 
For those of you sick to death of Jennifer Lawrence: Sorry, she just keeps on being awesome
source: upworthy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Have you been awkwardly explaining crack to your kids because of Rob Ford... You are going to really enjoy explaining what he said today, that cunning linguist
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wales Online)
 
 
 
Lawyer of boil-in-the-bag spy's family suggests the Dark Arts were involved in his death. Lord Voldemort unavailable for comment
source: walesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
US tech firms aren't completely evil. So they pay someone to be completely evil for them
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Government Accountability Office)
 
 
 
GAO: TSA admits to overreaching "administrative" searches (footnote 30, page 11)
source: gao.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Male chastity devices now available in manly camouflage, so you can avoid pleasuring yourself while hiding in a bush
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Beautiful lesbian bride whose wedding was shunned by her religious parents is flooded with messages of support. Jesus had two fathers and he turned out ok
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
ORCO school district hires private security firm to help ensure student safety. You'd think they could have gotten He-Man and the Masters of the Universe for free
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Girl might die if she plays with the family dog, watches porn
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
A diamond called "The Pink Star" was sold for a record-breaking $83 million in Geneva. All I can even think to say is that if I had $83 million, it would not be spent on a rock. Maybe lots of other stupid stuff, but not a rock
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Pilot: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE...wait, wait. My mistake, that's the intercom light
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
The Weather Channel tries a novel approach to reconnect with viewers and ratings. By actually talking about weather
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"Fewer than 15 percent of college students are hooking up - whether that means a kiss or actual intercourse - more than twice a year" according to the Institute of What Mom and Dad Want to Believe
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
Pope Benedict may have vacated his post for violating Commandment #1337: Thou shalt not pirate Football Manager 2013
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
The Nice Girls of Lulu, the so-called 'Yelp for Men,' a handy mobile app for rating ex-boyfriends. Don't worry you're not on there ....... I thought your Mom was bringing us down some Pizza Puffs, what gives?
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
School board meeting descends into chaos, ending with a board member's wife getting escorted out in handcuffs
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
This just in: cows are the root of all evil
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"Who cares if it is cold? I will still run around without any pants on"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
If the psychic you gave $115,000 to loses it gambling, you might want to reconsider her qualifications
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Good news, Obama supporters. We've finally located your unicorn
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NL Times (Netherlands))
 
 
 
"It kept coming out of them ..." a spokesperson said about 400,000 euros discovered inside two women at Amsterdam's Schiphol airport
source: nltimes.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
A year after the Cartegna scandal that rocked the Secret Service, the agency has restored trust, proving that its agents are the elite team everyone once thought they...wait, what happened? Oh, goddammit
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Father says, Megan Fox?, You wouldn't know what to do with that. Son says, Blam
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
Selling citizenships at the bargain price of 650,000 Euros is Malta's genius idea to overcome the economic crisis. One doesn't help but wonder if proof of cash origin is necessary, since a lot of "war heroes" would be happy to chip in
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
The worst possible surprise threesome
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Federal government sends out 275,000 e-mails urging people who failed to enroll online at HealthCare.gov to try again. They also sent out an e-mail to Charlie Brown trying to convince him that Lucy will hold the football so he can kick it this time
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Iceland is home to an Elf School, where you will learn many interesting lessons about these mythical hidden people. One of the most important: Never cross an elf. A lesson subby learned the hard way at the Cherry Hill Mall in 1979
source: travel.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
This year try to overlook the crowds and commercialism and celebrate the true meaning of Indian Pudding Day
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Border agents get two years in prison for a simple error. They were *supposed to* keep people from crossing into the United States. They *ended up* stripping three guys naked and forcing them to eat marijuana. Total misunderstanding
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Relics from the crucifixion heal the sick. Nothing to get hung up on
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Giant sinkhole opens up in Tampa Bay, prompting massive evacuations after Earth itself decided it was a little tired of Florida
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Montana college art student flunks a math class, sues the school for negligence, her diploma, being told an art degree could get her a job in Montana
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
California DMV approves controversial license plate. How could they NOT SEE this one?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Feds decide to try that whole "3D printing a gun" to see if it's really dangerous. Result: Yep, it's dangerous alright, just not they way they expected
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
$105 million Andy Warhol work sells for $105 million
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stock.xchng)
 
 
 
Photoshop these clown children
source: sxc.hu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
49 states can levy fines for cutting down trees. Florida, because they're Florida, imposes fines for planting them
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(McClatchy DC)
 
 
 
Why the 60 Minutes fark up is worse than we thought
source: mcclatchydc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
To help distinguish the literate from the illiterate, seven states are fighting to restore cursive writing instruction. The states of Vermont, Maine and Kentucky when asked to comment ..... replied, We have 'No dog in this fight'
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
Buying a car for £1,500 and selling it for £25,000 a few years later = happiness. Seeing that same car sell for £17 million pounds?? Oh.. fark
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
♫ Oh Johnny was a doctor, a doctor he is no more...for what he thought was HC2H3O2 was H2S04 ♫
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Your ad campaign might be misguided if it involves trying to persuade women to buy health insurance so they can engage in risky behavior like sex with strangers and extra money for shots of alcohol
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Please take this heroin from your carwash professional and have an A1 day
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
University student staples his testicles after losing bet. THAT WAS EASY
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
American college students finally reach #1 status. Make that reach $1 trillion in student loan debt. Duke still sucks
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Fred Garvin: Male prostitute
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
How we'll farking swear in the future
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Next time your mom threatens to wash your mouth out with soap, hand her this
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
Not news: High school football field house vandalized before the big game. Fark: By the team's own coach
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 445: "2 Wheels". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 13, 2013
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You buy free range chickens instead of cage raised? You monster, hurting those poor chickens, be humane, buy caged
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man pulls gun on personal trainer at gym. Witnesses say the man was upset that it took him twenty-seven minutes instead of the usual twenty-six to get to the gym
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EuroNews)
 
 
 
Director of India's Central Bureau of Investigation: "if you can't prevent rape, you enjoy it". Yes, it is an actual quote
source: euronews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Most people would go crazy if they found a flea in their foot. Not this doctorate student, she left a flea in her foot for two months so she could study it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
Arizona police say drivers spotted texting will get speeding tickets even if they are below the speed limit
source: blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Rutgers University bus driver fired for praying for a disabled student in a wheelchair. If only he was a teacher and had fondled the student, the union would have had his back
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Some people are making and selling t-shirts in support of Toronto mayor Rob Ford. Ford Motor Company has a problem with this
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Teen kills mom, injures dad after being sent to anger management class. Guess it didn't work
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
To Serve and Protect .... and drag race civilians while on duty
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
I see your helicopter parents and raise you snowplow parents, trying to clear the road for their fragile little teacups
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KETV Omaha)
 
 
 
When the underage girl you're dating threatens to break up with you, posting her nude photos on Craigslist probably isn't exactly the smartest way of getting back at her
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(JTA)
 
 
 
Danish hipsters determined to reclaim the misunderstood swastika, really make people hate the symbol
source: jta.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Unexploded ordnance explodes at Camp Pendleton, killing four marines
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: jumping for joy
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Step aside credit score, your phone score is calling
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mountain Xpress)
 
 
 
Newspaper tracks down Drew Curtis' dad, who operates quite literally the most masculine vehicle ever created
source: mountainx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"We don't have no way of judging where we're putting the flyers at." Even Dumbass tag facepalms at a KKK leader's response to a KKK recruiting drive in a predominantly black neighborhood
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(South Jersey Courier-Post)
 
 
 
It's fun to be bound, tased, and robbed at the YMCA
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Newly declassified ▓▓▓▓▓▓ reveal ▓▓▓▓▓▓ about past ▓▓▓ of the mysterious ▓▓▓▓▓▓ ▓▓▓▓ as Area 51
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(KPBS San Diego)
 
 
 
Not news: Creation Museum applies for Museum Council membership and is denied. Fark: Because of their animal care & storage guidelines. Ultra-Fark: Museum president compares his struggle to that of Blacks in Selma
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(WTAE)
 
NewsFlash
 
Time to reset that clock again. Pittsburgh this time (link goes to live coverage)
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Hawking states that physics are less interesting since the discovery of the God particle, but we are only 1,000 years away from leaving Earth and creating the Firefly universe
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember when the Lousiana EBT system crashed and people went all "RAID WALMART NO EBT LIMITS? Nothing bad can come from this, right?" Well, according to the Governor, you were wrong
source: freedomoutpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle of Higher Education)
 
 
 
Modern higher education has one problem that is so serious, it might be dubbed "The Problem We're Afraid to Name." Faculty and administrators beware: It's the dreaded helicopter parents
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(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone: Eating chocolate lowers fat
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Photoshop Toronto's Own Rob "I Can't Believe He's Not American" Ford
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(io9)
 
 
 
"Flipper, Flipper, faster than lightning. No one you see, is smar-wait, Flipper, what are you doing with that decapitated fish? Flipper? NOOOOOO FLIPPER"
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Top talent continues to flee the New York Times, which at this rate by this time next year will have a newsroom consisting of Paul Krugman writing headlines like "Mets Lose; Women, Minorities Hardest Hit"
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(Slate)
 
 
 
A look at what the contents of your fridge say about you. With first pic that says I'll be coming over to visit soon
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(BBC)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here is Queen Victoria with a traffic cone on her head
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Not News: Woman renews her vows. Florida: To the ferris wheel she's married to
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Abu Zubaydah wanted to 'bring America to its knees' after 9/11, did not plan enough to realize the TSA can cup your balls while you're still standing up
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(BBC)
 
 
 
It's always a pain in the neck when you're not allowed to watch the big football game. It's probably not worth breaking your spine by running headfirst into a wall, though
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGWN Cheyenne)
 
 
 
Bomb threat yesterday to Walmart in . . . Wyoming? They must be desperate for targets
source: kgwn.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cool: Scientists confirm world's oldest creature is a 507-year-old shellfish. Fail: Which they killed by opening it up to check its age
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Starbucks ordered to pay $2.76B in contract dispute, or approximately four hundred lattes and a cheese danish
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 21 News)
 
 
 
I'm into holistic and natural medicine, should I give my pet medical marijuana?
source: fox21news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Cell phones will kill you. Not your cell phone, mind
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Baby Boomer, Generation Xer, and Millennial brought together by their mutual dislike of seat belts
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Everybody's got a kink: if it's leather, or bondage, or spanking, or rolling in cow manure. Wait a sec
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Controversial pastor does live Q&A on Twitter, which starts with "What's the most Christian pokemon?" and goes predictably downhill
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(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
If the man in the doughnut drive-thru says he's a cop and asks for a discount, then offers proof by showing off his gun and saying 'see, I'm a cop', he's probably in not a cop
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington County Times)
 
 
 
Do they call me Ashley the hot air balloon pilot? No. You survive one severe goat headbutting
source: burlingtoncountytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Rod Blagojevich's hairpiece seeks release from jail. Someone could make a lot of f*cking money from this
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The gales of November come early for ANG AQ-9 Reaper drone. So, there's $5 million of your tax dollars sitting on the bottom of Lake Ontario now. Take THAT, terrorists
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(Forbes)
 
 
 
The Founder of Lululemon Fine Ass Yoga Pants Company discover that 'Fat Shaming' is not acceptable when apologizing to some of his heavier customers
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Old and busted: solar power. New hotness: VOLCANO POWER
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Golden Gate Bridge tolls to rise because "things cost more now." Those things are bus and ferry services paid for by drivers who don't use them
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Woman accused of stalking the band Hanson says she didn't know the restraining order against her included a ban from seeing them in concert. Also, Hanson still has stalkers
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(PennLive)
 
 
 
"We must protect this pot-bellied pig. He should be allowed to live amongst us"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Animal rights activist" commits suicide, but not before staging the doggie version of Jonestown
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How Aaron Paul or other contestants on The Price is Right can maximize their chances of winning. Yeah science, biatch
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Today's group of sad cheerleaders is brought to you by Plant City
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Forget for a moment that this cop fired 41 times at an unarmed man sitting in a pickup truck that was stuck between two police cars. Let's consider for a moment the fact that 38 of those shots missed
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(WTOP)
 
 
 
Finally, a Black Friday deal that's worth standing in line for: 10 percent off at Virginia liquor stores
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week UK)
 
 
 
Mike Tyson used a fake penis and fought while high on coke. Would not confirm he wants to be next Mayor of Toronto
source: theweek.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin is officially tougher than Chuck Norris. No, seriously
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You know that home-made silencer that Carl uses to shoot zombies in The Walking Dead? The US Navy would pay him almost $2 million for that. Assuming there was still a US Navy during the zombie apocalypse, of course
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Bacon Fest 2014 is going to have all the glitz and glamor of Vegas--only with bacon. And Iowans
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Zoo forced to rename baby crocodile called Fidel because of Castro association
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(WTKR)
 
 
 
Oldest-living WWII veteran is 107, still drives, cuts his own grass, smokes up to 12 cigars a day and has a 90-year-old girlfriend. Subby got winded typing this headline
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(NBC News)
 
 
 
With a busy docket of corporate persons to protect, SCOTUS recommends fetuses form an LLC for legal recognition
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Complex)
 
 
 
This is 911, what's your emergency? "My sex partner is snoring like a train"
source: complex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
A good time was had by no one when Grumpy Cat hung out with Oscar The Grouch. Who wins the battle to be the more miserable of the two?
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(Stoke Sentinel)
 
 
 
Sorry I shot that 12-year-old boy in the head. I was actually aiming for the pigeons
source: stokesentinel.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Seven terrible lies about bacon, the most wondrous, delicious food to grace mankind. Nectar of the gods, it is
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
NYT suffers a Tuesday Night Massacre
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Behold, the Sriracha Bacon lollipop. Because fark yeah, that's why
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this food production line
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Welcome new UN Human Rights Council members Russia, China & Saudi Arabia. Next up: Switzerland, Bolivia and Tajikistan named to UN Naval Council
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brentwood Gazette)
 
 
 
Ultimate pub crawl. Coffin carried down street to funeral in digger, mourners stop for pints of Guinness
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
If you were riding the blue line to O'Hare after 1:00 Friday morning two weeks ago and remember the woman with a two-foot alligator, the Chicago Transit Authority would like a word with you
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(International Business Times)
 
 
 
The humor is strong with this one, Jennifer Lawrence to replace Harrison Ford as Han Solo according to this non-rumor
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Very high risk junk bonds for a creationist theme park: an investment for those gullible in both financial AND science matters
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You know the attractive stock photo lady on the ObamaCare website? Apparently people have been tracking her down just to harass her
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
When the government tells Texans there are water restrictions in place and they can't water the grass in their lawns, Texans just dig their own private wells
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
"The complainant, James Collins, stated that his neighbors were being mean and would not drink with him," notes the police report
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(BBC)
 
 
 
UK Police: Spy found dead in padlocked bag fell into bag in such a way that he accidentally knocked combination lock off counter top, causing it to fall onto bag straps and lock them together, whilst inertia of body caused bag to zip shut
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
RAND PAUL says they are coming for our donuts. START HOARDING DONUTS
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Playstation 4 is being released this week, but there's still time for more last-gen stabbing
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
Blogger threatens to damage the reputation of a local salon in her next post if she doesn't get free haircuts. Since you're reading this on Fark, you can guess how this turned out
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Game over, the Pope has won the Interwebs. You can all stop trying now
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)