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Sun September 22, 2013
(Redding Record Searchlight)
 
 
 
Normal: Reporting your son's sexual assault and calling the cops to investigate. Meth Normal: Reporting your son's diaper rash as sexual assault and calling the cops to investigate
source: redding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
You play your music too loud. Does your neighbor C) chew your penis off without the benefit of a full set of teeth?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you had five American gunmen among terrorists to storm Nairobi mall, claim your prize. Wait, what?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Student breaks arm, school won't take her to ER or call 911. School doesn't have ice for her broken arm, so they use ice cream sandwiches
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this trio of teeter totters
source: 31.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
48 incredibly terrible tattoos. Not safe for work, not safe for lunch, not safe for sanity.... Bonus - deslided
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Now that's what I call a sticky situation
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's an orangutan feeding a penguin
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
A group in Boulder, Colorado is giving away free joints for flood relief--because people lost their pot too, you know. The best part: They've invited Uncle Joe
source: blogs.westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
♫ Shine on, shine on Harvest Moon up in the sky ♫
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Grumpy Cat. New hotness: Sir Stuffington
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
The latest thing you can overdose on -- acetaminophen
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Was I just being a coward? Short answer: Yes. Long answer: Hell yes
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Well it's official. The Pope's a Buddhist
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this topsy-turvy tent
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Pilot makes emergency landing on Lake Shore Drive at Grant Park in Chicago. "Two vehicles struck the aircraft's left wing after he landed but drove off"
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Ohhh myyy... Cute fräuleins in mini-dirndls do the world's largest chicken dance in Cincinnati Oktoberfest festival, led by George Takei --- no, this makes no sense, but you've already clicked anyway
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Curious Guy)
 
 
 
Who's got the fastest Interweb connection on Fark? Post your results
source: speedtest.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Looks like Men aren't from Mars after all, and they won't be going there either (unless NASA willingly exposes them to lethal doses of radiation)
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Man carries live chicken to protest open carry gun laws in Wisconsin
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(i-HLS)
 
 
 
Mega untethered airship in the air
source: i-hls.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
George Zimmerman is avoiding divorce by hiding from his wife. Yeah, that'll work
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
This is how you make lemonade out of lemons: Family donates canceled wedding reception to homeless and feeds 200 people
source: now.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
This handy map shows the most popular baby names parents gave their children, broken down by state. There will be a lot of Liams and Emmas running around the Midwest, and Florida will have an abundance of Jaydens and Isabellas
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
♫ They go fly, they go fly, they go fly...le cocaine ♫
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Never go against the grain
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"It's not fair kicking all these families out just because they have children. Does that sound like a Home Suite Home to you?"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
Gotta hate when you show up for a bank robbery without your web fluid
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Phil Knight has offered to donate $500 million to help cure cancer. Difficulty: A University has to find $500 million to match it in the next two years. Challenge accepted?
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this baby in a bucket and bunny
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Mall attack in Nairobi still unresolved, 59 dead, attackers have hostages. Story still developing
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"My brain was like a mashed potato after a terrible car accident but listening to Coldplay helps me remember who I am." Uhh isn't that backwards?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Ironic Bridezilla is here. There will be no survivors
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(South China Morning Post)
 
 
 
After you're finished your gay-free meal at Papa Johns and Chik-fil-A, then you can rush over to McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut and get some Sharia-free grub too
source: scmp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Ordered pair of morons in Utah coordinate a scheme to intercept $15K worth of graphing calculators, creating a negative slope toward Pound-Me-In-The-Asymptote prison, where their concavities will become other prisoners' domain
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
There once was a man from Gigante / Who wished to be hung like a donkey / Alas, the blue pill / It made him quite ill / So finally they cut off his penis
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 21, 2013
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Priest found with pantless boy has been reassigned by Diocese 15 times since 1988
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Tokyo subway system still incredibly punctual, to the point of announcers apologizing for one-minute delays and operators handing out cards as evidence to explain to your boss why you were late to work
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The U.S. has more guns, but somehow Russia has more murders
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
If you're old and think you're too old to tie the knot with a pretty bride, there's hope: George Soros, 83, married Tamiko Bolton, 42. Of course, he's a billionaire and you're not
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Hugh Jackman is a disappointing actor, but urinating on a 14-year-old boy is no way to react
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Dude. Hey, dude. Yo, Mr. Red Fire Ant. Yeah, you. I'm not scared of you. You know why? BECAUSE I'M CRAZY. I'M A FARKIN' CRAZY ANT, BIATCH
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Comparing apples and oranges generally isn't advised - unless they've both been peed on
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo Images)
 
 
 
Photoshop these worried-looking dancers
source: l1.yimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Millionaire Ferrari owner claims local cops are discriminating against him, keeping him from getting to the gym in 26 minutes
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
A woman who had been convicted of felony theft eight years ago is named treasurer of the high school's music booster club. Guess what happens next
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
You must really like Applebee's if you decide to impersonate a cop hoping to get a free meal there
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
O zapft is Oktoberfest has begun in Munich. (with helpful pictures demonstrating the value of Oktoberfest)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Arkansas cop fired for using the term "jigaboo" on camera. Jury still out on whether he time-travelled here from 1922 or 1923
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nick)
 
 
 
Nickelodeon blacks out its channels with message to kids to go outside and play today. Hero tag applauds, gets winded running for the door, goes back to couch with kids and turns to My Little Pony on The Hub
source: nick.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
European men are a little more open about kissing each other. That goes double for lawmakers protesting anti-LGBT discrimination
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Meet the "Willy Wonka of Weed," a man who is making marijuana-infused foodstuffs in a vain attempt to addict millions in Colorado. See what happens when you legalize drugs?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"Getting a Ph.D in the humanities isn't any crazier than becoming a journalist." Assuming that doctorate lets you get a job as a professor to keep churning out humanities graduates
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high-tech helmet
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Runner Michael Bowen completed a special mile yesterday-he has now run one for each of the more than 58,000 US vets who didn't come home from the Vietnam War
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
A man moved into a vacant $6M mansion and claimed rightful ownership as a Moorish American National. He argued that all of the US really belongs to him because the continent is still part of a Moroccan empire
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peoria Journal Star)
 
 
 
Today's Fark ready headline: "Fugitive caught in his underpants in Goofy Ridge"
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man in critical but stable condition after crashing motorized bar stool, police suspect alcohol may have been involved. ORLY?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Dog loyally guards cold beer while sitting in electric car in exclusive Southern California coastal neighborhood. Good dog
source: coronado.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
34-year-old hottie spends 30 days sharing photos of herself nearly naked in public, finally learns to appreciate her body just as it is (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
This is America, Suck it up and quit biatching that you're not as well-off as your parents
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Drunk, on drugs, and fighting with someone who asks you politely to stop blocking traffic is no way to pick up your daughter
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Remember that stripper who had a million dollars of her money seized by cops for no reason? Well she STILL hasn't gotten it back
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phuket Gazette)
 
 
 
Yachting: the new threat to national security
source: phuketgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Khaosod (Thailand))
 
 
 
Aw shucks, it sure is tough being just a private in the army, instead of an officer. Hey, I know, I'll dress up as a general. Then I can intimidate all the local bar owners into 'forgetting' about the bar tab...yeah that could work
source: khaosod.co.th   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Radio Free Europe)
 
 
 
The plane used to drop hundreds of teddy bears on Belarus to protest the dictatorial rule of Alexander Lukashenko is for sale on eBay
source: rferl.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Florida to issue $200 tickets to drivers being assholes
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Federalist)
 
 
 
Helicopter parents upset that their kids stranded by Colorado flooding were rescued by helicopter - that, and more on how we're being ruined by our safety obsessions
source: thefederalist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OC Weekly)
 
Weeners
 
Huntington Beach high school trolls The OC by electing nation's first transgendered Homecoming Queen
source: blogs.ocweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
I haven't seen anything this bad since the Anita Bryant concert
source: local10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Indian man arrested for 'suspicious tea-drinking.' Judge makes brisk work of charges. Says police took a steep path, not to hold him oolong
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Museum to attempt to break record for largest gathering of pirates today, right where the ninjas want them to be
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man's experience as an addict, dealer, murderer, choir director, substance abuse counselor, political candidate and preacher apparently prepared him for his latest career as a pimp. YOLO
source: articles.courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Hitchhiking. New method of free transportation: Jethiking
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
That death knell you just heard was for the traditional taxi cab industry in California
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this orange oddity
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
A teen who gained fame for her uncontrollable hiccupping has been found guilty of first-degree m, m, m, m, m, m, m, m, m, murder
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Newly crowned Miss America understands that some Americans are still racist in general and wishes them entrance to the 21st century
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(lifewithcats.tv)
 
 
 
As Colorado struggles to recover from the recent devastating flooding, let's take a moment to thank all the first responders who saved many lives: Police, Fire, EMS, and Jezebel the cat - who made sure her people could make it to Caturday
source: lifewithcats.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
A man has to draw the line somewhere. In this case, the line was an overtightened ketchup lid
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
"Whoever said no good deed goes unpunished probably never got six figures out of the act"
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
'Extra Terrestrial Vehicle' for sale on eBay for $100,000, and it looks awesome
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
High schools routinely pay more for sports than they do for important things like Math, Science, and English, so the thing we need to do is abolish high school sports
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Parents of the year confuse 10-year-old daughter's gunshot wound with her first period
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
A prosecutor from the meth-ravaged town of Austin says Breaking Bad "promotes meth usage"
source: ideas.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 20, 2013
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Legalization of marijuana leads to rise in incidents of dogs getting dangerously high after eating owners' stashes. Your dog wants steak, Ho-Hos, large pizza, Doritos, Pixie Stix, more steak, etc
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Ten years and 2 million heroin injections later, Vancouver BC's InSite, celebrates. Now please go out and vote for the referendum to legalize marijuana
source: bc.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Farmer charged with death of cows claims it was actually lasers and heat rays that killed them
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Remember when they said your E-ZPass wasn't used to track anything but your tolls on toll roads? Yeah, about that
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
So how much street cred do you get for breaking a teacher's leg at your school?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this held up holy hand
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newcastle Evening Chronicle)
 
 
 
McDonald's trying out experimental new ingredients in England...including crane
source: chroniclelive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Considering the roads back in the 1920's, just about every car had to be an SUV
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"Waddle you have," asked the bartender. "Your finest champagne, and put it on his bill. "
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Shark vs. Crocodile. Crocodile 1, Shark 0
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
GTA V plays out in real life over a copy of GTA V. Farked up: Victim is mentally handicapped
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Headlines & Global News)
 
 
 
Researchers find an easy way to capture endangered birds. Shoot them with a cannon
source: hngn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lapham's Quarterly)
 
 
 
Last meals of the condemned: elaborate feasts shared with your judges, a drink with the man who'll behead you, stopping at the pub for a "great bowl of ale," a slice of pecan pie you'll "save for later"--or a hearty stew made from your mortal remains
source: laphamsquarterly.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Law student gets his fantasy football trade vetoed. Responds with appellate brief to Commish because... tool
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Hot redneck mother-daughter-daughter trio on the lamb, wanted for stealing thousands from animal shelter and prescribing animal meds to their relatives. Bonus: Last name of 'Manger' (W/ 'yes you would' mugshots)
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Apparently, Genghis Khan's empire doesn't extend to the New York State Thruway
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Illegal alien named Time Magazine's "face of immigration reform" arrested on kiddie porn charges
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In January 1958, about 100 Ku Klux Klansmen held a rally "To put the Lumbee Indians in their place, and to end race mixing." About 1000 Lumbee showed up brandishing shotguns. Hilarity ensued
source: ncpedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
There are politicians. There are controversial politicians. And then there is THIS guy
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man in trouble with police after collecting 850 snakes at his home without formally registering his house as a law office
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
An unfortunate hazard of being a zookeeper when some other worker forgets to lock the door to the tiger cage
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Although camping out overnight to get one of the first new iPhones can be a lot of fun, you're also a sitting duck for any robber with a gun
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Did you ever have that dream where you're late for a test, and it's a final, and you forgot to study? That wasn't a dream, it's actually time for the Fark Quiz--and you forgot to study for it, didn't you?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Real men should wear makeup. Here's why
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Classified documents reveal that the US almost detonated a nuclear bomb over North Carolina in the 1960's, thinking a healthy dose of radiation might be beneficial to the gene pool there
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Bridezilla wants to be a pretty pretty princess on wedding day or How to beg for cash online and have it go horribly horribly wrong
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Brits rush for designer vaginas...and use them to store their pot plants [w/pic]
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona business encourages employees to bring their guns to work. The best part is you can leave your lunch in the break room refrigerator and nobody will try to walk off with it
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hot, young, fit high schoolers wear yoga pants to class to protest rumored yoga pants ban
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New board game can help turn your preschoolers into little hackers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: If I Had A Hammer
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Greenpeace runs afoul of Russia, optimistically asks for their ship and 30 crewmembers back
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Some airline passengers find another way to chuck their dignity into the low-cost turbines. To the right, taking bets on how long it will take the airlines to start charging these clever guys for fat seats. Assuming they get past the TSA screening
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
St. Louis, often recipient of the "most dangerous city" award is now terrorizing its residents with horribly scary urban agriculture
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Reporter may go to jail defending the right of the people to know that the accused had sex on top of the corpse
source: heraldnews.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Two schools locked down after pirates spotted heading to Krispy Kreme for sugary bounty
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Teddy Roosevelt riding a moose is a fake. A kangaroo boxing a robot still up for debate
source: paleofuture.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
A couple of drunks get the Seattle Jail experience after vandalizing a statue of Jimi Hendrix
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Man arrested after using baby as shield. Greg Stillson unavailable for comment
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
"There are an unbelievable number of poems that have been written about outhouses"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"Is it legal to marry your car?" among other gems, top off the most bizarre interview questions for visa applications
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Winter comes early to upstate New York as Brian Holloway exposes the 300 snowflakes who trashed his home while he was away in Miami
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
New report shows homeschooling often leads to battered children, sexual abuse, surprisingly bright teeth
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Weather Service)
 
 
 
75 Years Ago there was the Great New England Hurricane
source: weather.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baeble Music)
 
 
 
Mother punishes daughter by selling One Direction tickets on eBay and rages out in the product description
source: baeblemusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Song custom written for the first dance at the wedding of the woman accused of pushing her husband off a cliff 8 days after they married included the lyric "everyone wants a safe place to fall, you are mine"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Now here's a headline all of FARK can get behind: Ex-Stripper Suing Daily Mail for Using Her Photo on HIV+ Actress Story
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Iran says they don't want to be exceptional either
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Apparently, New Jersey says you can't be a judge and a stand-up comic at the same time
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Cops object to man's mission from God, which, admittedly, involves "pure natural marijuana"
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Computer analyst finds the secret to the claw machine and takes home thousands of stuffed animals from restaurants throughout Southern California
source: missionviejo.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Honestly guys, I don't have time for this execution, I'm so f*cking tired. . . Zzzzzzzzzzzz *snort*"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Syria to miss first "red line" deadline...or not...they do have until tomorrow
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Medium)
 
 
 
The Syrian civil war is officially a three-way
source: medium.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Zombie apocalypse canceled over safety fears
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After a French mother sends her son, named Jihad, to nursery school in a t-shirt that read "Born September 11th, I am a bomb" a court fines her $3000 for aggravated asshattery
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Police need your assistance finding thieves last seen running south with a panty on their head
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Confused hacker targets NASA websites to protest NSA surveilance
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
It turns out that not only are your condoms made for his and her pleasure, they're also made for your grandparents' instant pain relief
source: news.asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
A Virginia dentist will see her felony charge dropped under one condition: She has to agree to not spank her child for at least two years
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Brain-eating amoeba raises concerns in New Orleans. Liberals throughout the area unaffected
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincolnshire Echo)
 
 
 
Man steals 42 blocks of cheese to make money
source: lincolnshireecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Fark's favorite police chief goes out with a bang
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man at a manhole
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Detroit finally addressing the problem of lights going down in the city, specifically streetlights that inconvenience people living just to find emotion; it seemed only their shadows were searching in the night. But they refused to stop believing
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
What's black and white and red all over?
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Pooty poot denies that Russia discriminates against gays and then goes on to defend his prejudices against gays
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
High school principal under fire for approving a spirit t-shirt with the abbreviation for 'We're The Falcons' on it. "Everyone thinks it's funny. I think it's very distracting and I don't know what lesson they're trying teach"
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Amazon's first CFO killed by Amazon delivery truck
source: bits.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A Florida Atlantic University professor tells us all what REALLY happened at the Washington Navy Yard shooting
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
The best thing about having a teacher at your school get arrested for having improper relations with a student at your school is that you can use the incident to justify not going to school. "Somebody could do that to me"
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The City Wire)
 
 
 
Court ruling means that Arkansas businesses must offer health, retirement and other benefits to same sex couples married in states or countries that recognizes those marriages
source: thecitywire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New York man is tired of being paid $35 a pop to sharpen pencils. Don't bother reading TFA, it will only confuse you further
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Is the answer a whack-load of Glade plug-ins?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
This isn't your grandma's parlor: Cops raid Nina's Massage on prostitution bust thanks to the latest crime-fighting police tool, Google
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Puppies born without legs can make it on their own. Those little guys. They have the heart of a champion. Just keep scraping along... I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm thinking of getting into male modeling, or maybe high finance
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when there's a horse on your roof and he won't come down?
source: harnesslink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
The same day the FBI labels Chicago the "Murder Capital" of the USA, 13 people are shot in a southwest side park. Just hours before that, 4 people were shot within a couple of hours
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Action News Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Five Five times the legal limit Ah, ha ha
source: actionnewsjax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crawley News)
 
 
 
Most kids spend their summer holidays lazing around annoying their parents - these two cycled from Amsterdam to Poland, sleeping in gardens along the way
source: crawleynews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
"For $350, a person can name a stall in the ladies' room, and for $500, a urinal in the men's room"
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
I'm not trying not to freak any of you out, but weed spores have figured out how to walk and leap and here's the evidence to prove it
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lansing City Pulse)
 
 
 
Seven-month-old child taken away from parents because they: A) run a meth lab, B) are members of violent drug gang, or C) have legal medical marijuana presciption
source: lansingcitypulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Besides topping New York in pizza, Chicago is now better than New York in another category: murder capital USA
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
So apparently putting your baby on an airport luggage conveyor is a bad idea
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scientists confirm earth's biggest deep earthquake occurred in May in the Sea of Okhotsk b'gosh
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
The 10 ugliest cars of 2013. Yeah, that one's on there. So is that one
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
College students are killing cable TV
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Phone company employees accused of being radio station's 25th caller a few too many times
source: atlantic.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Core 77)
 
 
 
What happens when you mix Silly Putty and sand? Pure WANT
source: core77.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 19, 2013
(io9)
 
 
 
Why is it so impossible to get out of bed in the morning?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Check out this hand-blown beer glass that lets you enjoy two ... two ... two ales at once
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Not news: Man has 10 fingers. HOLY CRAP WTF: None of them are thumbs
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Apparently lifting weights while pregnant, is no way to go through life, Mom
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dogfish Head beer? Yeah, some folks drink it, I bathe in it
source: travel.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Holy f***
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Three penises retracted painlessly through the miracle of modern computing
source: retractionwatch.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Buzzing the Tower. New hotness: Buzzing the Iranian Air Force
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sailor calibration
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
They say boys don't cry. Well neither do 21-year-old girls pretending to be 15-year-old boys so they can make out with teen girls
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Invasion by U.N.? Nearly 400,000 foreign troops "training" in the U.S. right now
source: thesleuthjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Watch White House Press Secretary Jay Carney's epic fail when confronted by a Sharknado reference
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"A homeless man who went on an anti-Semitic tirade in New York City's Times Square while dressed as Elmo is facing prison time for a plot to extort $2 million from the Girl Scouts." Then it gets weird
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Put the boxing gloves on, it's time to debate what it takes to make chili awesome. Old debates can fan new flames. Chili is serious business so bring your A game
source: paraduxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Designer develops wide potato chip bag for large-handed consumers. Guy with hand stuck in Pringles tube unavailable for comment
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
5.3 Earthquake at Fukthisplaceashima
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sewage fountain from a flood
source: media2.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
"It's just harmless fun," says terrifying clown who has been stalking an English town for a week
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Shell Oil decides to pull out of its horizontal drilling experience deep inside Kansas. This is not a euphemism
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
MO elementary school teacher charged with offering instruction on reading, 'riting, and rub-n-tugs
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
News: Pastor arrested for sex abuse. Fark: Against female parishioners
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Flippin Mayor shoots a hole in City Hall window. No really, it was the Flippin Mayor
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Cities ask Ohio Supreme Court to waive due process for camera tickets because "the financial impact upon cities could be significant" if drivers have the right to a fair trial
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
There would be a lot less wasted food in this world if we didn't have all those pesky 'use by' dates
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
You know, when you go "camping" with 15,000 other people, at that point you're not so much "camping" as cosplaying a refugee camp
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If there was a Nice Guy Hall Of Fame, this Dairy Queen employee should be inducted
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yorkshire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Muslims shouldn't drink alcohol. This is doubly true for Muslim airline pilots about to take off with a plane full of passengers
source: yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The standard of living of most Americans has declined in the past 25 years. "I blame _______" comments to the right
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Don't have a cow, train. Oh, too late
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
'He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy's'
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Human Grumpy Cat arrested for stealing from police evidence room (with mugshot proof). GOOD
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Looks like Francis is lightening up
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Times News)
 
 
 
Search for Invisible Man to become even more difficult
source: thetimesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Animal welfare officers alerted about a 'distressed' owl quickly determine it to be a plastic garden decoration
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
@drewcurtis, looking at all the crap on the @fark main page, why are all my submissions getting redlit?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Right Wing Watch)
 
 
 
The American Family Association is bothered that women have, like, jobs and stuff
source: rightwingwatch.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAY Green Bay)
 
 
 
Ex-NFL player's house trashed by 300 partying teens. And they peed on his rug
source: wbay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ProPublica)
 
 
 
Medical errors come in just behind heart disease and cancer, making them third most common in cause of death in the US. Still no cure for oops
source: propublica.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
New dorms have granite countertops, fire pits, and simulated golf courses. And you wonder why we're always complaining about the costs of college tuition
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Former Majority Leader Tom DeLay no longer has the courage of his conviction
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudie, I'm a genius, my husband is a genius and my four year old daughter is a genius. Why do I feel I need to hide this from everybody?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Man sits down on train. Whole of Britain outraged. Politicians demand answers
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Burglars steal 'dwarf' porn, then burn down home
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Q13 Fox)
 
 
 
Man adopts a slimy disguise and slithers out of jail
source: q13fox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13 Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Guess we finally have an answer to the question: What happens if two people Stand Their Ground at each other?
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(John Innes Center)
 
 
 
Plants perform mathematical calculations so during the night they consume stored up starch at the most efficient rate. In other words, vegans want us to eat budding little mathematicians instead of bacon
source: news.jic.ac.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Apparently the idea of ripping off people selling things on Craigslist hasn't gotten old in Brandon
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Advertising Age)
 
 
 
Bored with her groundbreaking Immunology career, Jenny McCarthy evidently went back for another MD degree, this time in cardiopulmonology
source: adage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
According to Iowa Republican Steve King, illegal immigrants have "killed thousands of Americans." Bonus: his cited examples weren't caused by illegal immigrants
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Old man yells at Облако
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop her happy highness
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KBOI2 Boise)
 
 
 
Two headed calf dies. Hensel girls inconsolable
source: kboi2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
How can we teach kids about slavery? I know, let's bring them in the woods on a field trip and pretend they are slaves and we are their white masters. Oh, and we'll also pretend we're Paula Deen too
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
The finger pointing game is taking an interesting turn as Russia says it has proof Syria rebels used chemicals
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
You'd better sit down for this: A new study shows a correlation between liquor and shooting risk
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photographer captures the beautiful demise of some of Detroit's architecture
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Utah raises their highway speed limit to 80, making it now so much easier to get the hell out of Utah
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Is the best way to make a good impression on a prospective employer, who also happens to be one of the world's richest men, by: a) charming him, b) impressing him, or c) stabbing him?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Somebody in a place called Lexington just became rich enough to buy us all a beer
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
Just a dog that looks like Vladimir Putin
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
New research reveals goldfish can tell the difference between Bach and Stravinsky, still lack opposable thumbs
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Topeka, Kansas trolls Westboro Baptist Church
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News9 Oklahoma)
 
 
 
As if finding submerged cars from years old cold cases wasn't enough, now authorities in the same county are dealing with a fire at a chemical plant
source: news9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Rhode Island police warned the navy that Aaron Alexis was hallucinating and hearing voices last month but navy officials deemed that he wasn't a threat. Defense chief Chuck Hagel says, "many warning signs were missed"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Mom, there's nothing to eat. Don't look at me. I said don't
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, some rules and expectations to help you wake up your overnight guest(s) who don't follow your rigid schedule of getting up at 6AM, showering, having coffee, having breakfast, and reading the news
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
New species of legless lizard discovered living underground just beneath the surface.. Scientists haven't decided what to name it, but are leaning towards calling it Douglas
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Body of 14 year old girl from Georgia who was kidnapped at gunpint in a home invasion found 25 miles from her home. Bonus: The body is still alive and doing well
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Wedding delayed after man literally demonstrates what will happen to the groom merely figuratively
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bubblews)
 
 
 
Arrrrr... Krispy Kreme KicKs off 'TalK LiKe A Pirate Day' by giving away free glazed donuts to Kustomers who talK or dress up liKe a pirate on Thursday in any of their US and Kanada loKations
source: bubblews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Sincerely pleading your case to a parking officer may get you out of a ticket. Throwing feces at her? Probably not
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
U.S. Air Force shows they can park a 2,000lb bomb in a pirate's pocket from altitude without killing a single fish. (w/ amazing pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
So, who's ready for birthday cake flavored M&Ms?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Antoine Dodson, inspiration for the "bed intruder" song who was gay now isn't, and is expecting a baby, fo real
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Only in Florida. Man, 54, tries exorcism on his girlfriend, 80
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SF Weekly)
 
 
 
Why go to Craigslist when you can just as easy get casual sex, tied up, and robbed after meeting somebody on BART?
source: blogs.sfweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 437: "Joe Cool". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 18, 2013
(Odd Crime)
 
 
 
Last week this Arizona man was arrested for branding his initials onto girlfriend's va-jay-jay this week he is arrested for making doggie porn. Next week
source: oddcrime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The strange story of an "American Stonehenge" in Georgia, featuring a series of large granite tablets with messages such as keeping the population under 500 million, written in eight languages
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Mysterious smell syruptitiously returns to New York
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man accuses coworker of crushing his lunch, proceeds to beat him, resulting in a crushed lunch and assault charges
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Shockingly, the rocket scientist who had an elaborate plan to attack a mosque with bacon failed to get away with it
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Government wants to revoke licenses of teachers convicted of sex crimes -- wait what, they haven't been doing that so far?
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bathroom break
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
"Test-Drive Speed Dating" combines the thrill of test-driving a car with meeting lonely singles
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(iReporters TV)
 
 
 
Pastor disguises himself as homeless man and goes to his church, where he is treated with warmth and compassion. Just kidding, they treated him like garbage
source: ireporterstv.co   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Beanie Babies creator H. Ty Warner charged with tax evasion, says he will pay $53 million, or the equivalent worth of 6 of those "Princess Diana" bears released after her death in 1998
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Drunk driver at 4 times the legal limit crashes into patrol car, figures his best defense is to tell the deputy to "fark off"
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
This week's Dear Prudence is pretty tame. Until: "Recently, I have even taken to only shaving one leg so when I lie in bed at night I feel like a man is next to me"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
"Granddad", the 80-something-year-old lungfish, celebrates his 80th anniversary at Shedd Aquarium. Now get off his algae patch
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Twas circumcision and fringe groups that broke the internet, not those videos of your Mom
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Thirteen rules for using commas, without looking like an idiot
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
1 in 6 Canadians needed mental health care last year. The other 5 were probably just to drunk too show up at the clinic
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Decapitated body found on subway tracks may have been man hit by train before he could head off to work
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Shocked Ohio State students discover the 'ghost' haunting their house is actually a stranger living in a secret room in their basement. They must be some real geniuses
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
SEC votes to force corporations to disclose the ratio between CEO compensation and the median pay of employees and whooo, Nellie, had you better believe that corporations have a problem with this
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un loves dolphins. Oh sure, they go 2-0 and everyone is on the bandwagon
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A man who admitted he wanted to kill and eat children and turned his basement into a soundproof dungeon containing a child coffin, handcuffs and a deluxe butcher set is going to be set free someday
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pro tip for drunks: It's all about where you belly up to the bar that says whether and how fast you'll get served
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOLO TV Reno)
 
 
 
In the interest of being "family friendly", taxis have been asked not to advertise for brothels in state known for having legal brothels, not being "family friendly"
source: kolotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: a jet flying from Glasgow to Ibiza had to make an emergency landing because a bunch of drunk Scots were dancing down the aisle
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A Fark tradition: Photoshop the new Miss America
source: s3-ec.buzzfed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Although most residents don't have a problem living on N-word Lane, one woman does. Fark: The N-word here is Newfie
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Based solely on the attitudes of people sporting namaste paraphernalia today, I'd think it was Sanskrit for "go fark yourself.""
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Queens, NY residents angry that planned shiny new house ruins the neighborhood's squalid bunker motif
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Man at gun range shot in head multiple times accidentally
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
TN appellate court rules that baby can be named "Messiah." Jesus, that took long enough
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chinese woman loses 77 pounds in 15 days on fabulous new well-being diet
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Aaron Alexis' mother speaks about her son: "I don't know why he did what he did, and I'll never be able to ask him why. Aaron is now in a place where he can no longer do harm to anyone, and for that I am glad." Damn
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Problem: you have thousands of tons of radioactive water and have to figure out where to put it before it all leaks into the ocean. Solution: No, really, if you have a solution please tell Japan
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Never race a train. That means you, city bus driver
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
America could learn something from the French about beauty contests for precious little snowflakes
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ArtFido)
 
 
 
What would A-list celebrities look like if they had to live as normal people? Now, thanks to the magic of Photoshop, we know. JOHNNY DEPP, NOOOOOO
source: artfido.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Can you really live to be 100? More to the point: Do you really WANT to live to 100?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Stop pretending like you don't love sangria, you lying liar who lies
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
How bad is the suicide problem in China? Incoming college students are being asked to sign waivers absolving the college of responsibility if they kill themselves
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Surprise! It's your city's attorney -- in the buff -- in your bedroom
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
As far as cringe-worthy moves go, it's tough to imagine one that's worse than this: Two ads urging Facebook users to "Find Love in Canada" were each paired with a photo of Rehtaeh Parsons-the Canadian 17-year-old who hanged herself
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Younger Americans are so greedy and self-involved that they give four times as much to charity as Baby Boomers
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Man in critical condition after being hit by ice-cream truck. If only there was some sort of audible warning that an ice-cream truck was barreling down on you at break-neck speeds approaching 3 mph
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"My name is Boris. I am the official clown catcher. I am not here to scare anyone. I am not here to hurt anyone. I come in peace"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Despite what the Internet insists, cloud-seeding is not behind the flooding in Colorado
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
10 mass shootings that fell short because someone else whipped theirs out... This has nothing to do with Catholic priests with erectile dysfunction
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Author claims it's okay to say "I don't know," failing to realize an entire generation grew up fearing green slime falling upon them when they admitted ignorance
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Noah's Ark survives Colorado flooding, presumably with two strains of every type of marijuana
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Bike sharing in New York City is a sign of the apocalypse
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
How fertile are women in their 30s? Well considering we're using 300-year-old statistics, who knows
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Secret Judge of secret court: Telephone companies handed over your data to the NSA without a whimper. Collusion or cowardice? You decide
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
And in other news, a reporter and photographer who work for our rival station were involved in a serious car accident. Here's a picture of their overturned news truck, complete with a wonderful view of the crumpled up logo on the hood
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(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Bad: New Orleans cops blow an arm off, fire on and kill unarmed citizens, including a retarded man. Good: Cops get convicted. FARK: Judge overturns convictions because prosecutors made online comments on a news website
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Today is the day when everyone living in Alaska justifies why they live in Alaska
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS DC)
 
 
 
This just in, giant panda cubs grow. Giant, even
source: washington.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these protesting peaceniks
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Starbucks CEO wants to keep his customers from being venti-latted
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
It seems that the Beverly Hills SWAT team has at least one necrophiliac in its ranks. He apparently doesn't want to feel the heat in somebody
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
China opens the world's highest civilian airport 14,000 feet above sea level. Passengers now able to join the Mile High Club even before their plane takes off
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
"So I felt the Lord say to me, 'Go feed the strippers'"
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dumbass Daily)
 
 
 
Hot teacher on trial for sex with 12-year-old claims hundreds of naughty text messages between them was just part of a new "sexual therapy" technique to motivate him to study harder. Florida tag takes out a ruler and raps Obvious tag on the knuckles
source: dumbassdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
U.S. seizes largest ever piece of Iran
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Janice Keihai... Keihanu... K, That'sAReallyLongName is getting it on her drivers license (with audio)
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What do you get when you invest $10,000 the Warren Buffett way? $1.1 billion dollar richer
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
To help cut down on prostitution, gambling, and drug use, San Francisco police crack down on (a) the pimps, (b) the bookies, (c) the dealers, or (d) the guys playing chess
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
Will gas ever cost less than $3 per gallon again? Short answer: No. Long answer: Bwahhahahahhhahhaha... No
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Daily Mail now outsourcing scuba diving photography to low-earning Tiger sharks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Another day, another mass shooting in America. More blood, more tears, more knee-jerk rhetoric about finding a solution for a bunch of different problems." LZ Granderson writes the sanest opinion piece about gun control you'll read today
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(NPR)
 
 
 
This is taking the microbrewery idea a bit too far
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Mount Sinabung erupts, causing panic as it rains down an assortment of delicious rolls and pastries
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Half the deadliest shootings in U.S. history happened in past six years. Thanks Obama
source: maddowblog.msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Armed robbers arrested at bingo game, their sentence will B-6 years in jail
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Apparently Missouri deer are fighting back against hunters by using pit traps
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
"In the past 30 years, not a single mass shooting has been stopped by an armed civilian"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It turns out that money can, in fact buy happiness. Well, duh
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The McEverything will give you a McHeartattack
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
How do you follow up arrests for giving people wedgies and jumping over a deputy? Steal 2nd base in your underwear at MLB game
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember how your parents used to tell you that the monster under your bed wasn't real? They were wrong
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Men with wider faces are more aggressive, less trustworthy and more prone to engaging in deception. Stop looking at me
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Swastika cat draws fuhrer
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 17, 2013
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
It's 2013 and still there are parents convinced that their children will suffer irreversible harm if they see a bare-breasted statue in the park. "We have a solid case on the harms to minors"
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News9 Oklahoma)
 
 
 
Not news: County officials train with new sonar device. News: And find a sunken car with three bodies inside. Fark: Next to another sunken car with three bodies inside. Ultrafark: Both are cold case disappearances that happened ten years apart
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(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
If you're going to break into an animal hospital to steal prescription drugs, and you plan to use the ductwork to get in, for goodness sake, at least wear some clothes
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(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
"The next mass shooting will take place on Feb. 12, 2014, in Spokane, Washington, by an emotionally disturbed, 38-year-old white man who will kill 7 people and wound 6 where he used to work using a semi-auto handgun he purchased legally in-state"
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Stay classy LSU
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Of all the places to get busted for a DUI, waiting for your child outside an elementary school has to be the absolute worst
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WILX Michigan)
 
 
 
Three students, with a fourth possible victim, shot outside a high school in Lansing, Michigan
source: wilx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scene from the 1964 New York World's Fair
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
While you're going on three months trying to close the deal with the girl with the limp in the mailroom, Swaziland's King Mswati III has chosen an 18-year-old beauty pageant contestant as his 14th wife
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Thou shalt not commit murder. Or hire someone to do it for you
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Oklahoma governor orders National Guard to back off of equality, stop processing benefits applications from spouses of gay servicemembers
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Social Reader)
 
 
 
In case you were wondering: DIY butt injections are still a very, very bad idea
source: socialreader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
The unfortunate outcome of having a 500-pound underground propane tank below your house, is KABLOOEY
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
In order to raise awareness of how people on food stamps live, Panera CEO Ron Shaich is trying to live for a week on a food budget of just $4.50/day or roughly half what a single sandwich costs at his restaurants
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