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Sun September 08, 2013
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Carnival air swing ride converts to bumper cars mid-flight
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spokesman Review)
 
 
 
Man completes 10-year quest to jump into all 168 named lakes in Waterton-Glacier International Peace Park, earning money for summer camp for kids with cancer in the process
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Man gets eight months in jail for teaching people how to beat a lie detector test. The same information is on USNews.com, AntiPolygraph.org, Wikihow.com, Lifehacker.com, LiveScience.com, Discovery.com and Amazon.com
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Robber to clerk: 'Don't call the cops. I'll pay you back later, bro'
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A trading card you collected as a kid is now selling for $100,000. FARK: Pokemon
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Artist shows up at gallery to unveil his latest work, which is a large handgun loaded with penis shaped bullets. Also at gallery is artist who has had death threats, so there's tons of security personnel present. What could possibly go wrong?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Science finally proves you need to take a nap
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this anticipating insect
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Would you rather your child receive free candy from: a) trusted family members, b) trusted neighbors, or c) armed strangers?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
High on coke and bath salts and attacking cars naked is no way to go through life son,...er...daughter
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Six-year-old mom gives birth to triplets
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Group that definitely isn't trying to troll anyone has no idea why people are offended about their desire to fly a Confederate flag over Richmond
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Panda shaped balloon lands in San Diego neighborhood. Again
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New group, Trail Life USA, attempts to bring masculinity back since the Boy Scouts allowed gays in. Said one masculine supporter of Trail Life USA: "I've cried a river since this started." Seriously. He said that. Good luck, ladies
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Old: Vandalizing red light cameras. Florida: Using your car to take out the entire red light camera pole
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Giving your child allowance is child abuse
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Ever wondered what makes up your pee? OK, well, 20 researchers at the University of Alberta did, and they've spent the last seven years developing a urinalysis or-put simply-an encyclopedia of pee
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Subliminal Advertising (LGT Example)
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
So, that intruder at Buckingham Palace? Yeah....turns out it was Prince Andrew taking an evening walk in the garden. I say, that's a sterling bit of police work there, Louis, old boy; carry on
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
The nurse at the ER check-in desk looked at me like I'm the first guy who's ever been stabbed in the face for cheating at Monopoly. Whatever
source: explodingunicorn.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYSE Big Stage)
 
 
 
Polaris is bringing back the oldest U.S. motorcycle brand, the Indian. Groups complaining about the brand name in 3...2...1
source: nysebigstage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Gazette)
 
 
 
"The (handcuffed) woman became more unruly in the seat, forcing the trooper to put her "in a headlock position" as he was driving onto Interstate 180" Fark: After that, she stole the patrol car
source: sungazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
From Mexico to Qatar, obesity rates are soaring. Thanks to generous portions of American fast-food, we are now seeing 'Globesity'
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
While enjoying NFL action today, when reaching for your beverage of choice you might want to pass on that fruit smoothie
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Tossing a cigarette butt out of your car in Illinois will soon become a third strike felony
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
This just in: graphic pictures of cancer and death won't dissuade teenagers from buying or stealing and smoking cigarettes
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Family takes advantage of law allowing guns in national parks to protect themselves. End up being protected from their own daughter
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Iowa grants gun permits to the blind." What could possibly go wrong?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Sure, St. Louis' Gateway Arch is now considered a national icon, but it was only built because of voter fraud manipulated straight from City Hall
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Suspect commits aggravated assault, ends up in standoff with SWAT who send in camera, gas, and 'distraction device', then storm and kill suspect in shootout after negotiations fail. FARK: 107 year old suspect
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this meeting with a marine mammal
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashville Scene)
 
 
 
A decade after robbing a market, an addict on the mend pays back the owner in full. Would have sappy tag, but he didn't adjust for inflation
source: nashvillescene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pacific Standard Magazine)
 
 
 
"Is it possible to graduate from a for-profit college?" Well, only if you have unlimited time, income, and are an idiot
source: psmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Have you ever carefully looked at the $1 bill? I mean, really carefully
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Arctic ice cap grows by 60% in a year. I blame Gore
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMTW Portland)
 
 
 
Rare six-clawed lobster caught near Maine and OMG KILL IT WITH BUTTER (w/pic)
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Another porn star diagnosed with HIV. Who could have seen this coming?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Weed with 20-30% THC. New hotness: Hash oil that's 80-95% pure THC
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Rabbi informs the public that rich people are less likely to be compassionate than poor people. This is not a repeat from 30 AD
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
More than 1,000 people lined up to be the first to try the ramen burger
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat September 07, 2013
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Saturn setup
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
These days it's just not a good idea to kneel in front of a military base while rambling and carrying a suitcase
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City, UNESCO City of Cirrhosis)
 
 
 
Maybe not the best college town police blotter entry in history, but the best one you'll see today. Iowa City drunkenness trifecta in play
source: iowa-city.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Hot 48-year-old blonde turns her shed into a pub: Enjoy a quiet pint, play the slot machine or have a game of darts; drinks are on the house (w/pics)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
Today's fark ready headline: "Inmate paid for prison rape"
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Nothing says "break the commerce paradigm" like flying in your helicopter to spend one day handing out sandwiches at Burning Man, then flying back home
source: huffpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Beating the hell of out of your son's kindergarten teacher because you think she scratched him is no way to go through life, mom
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
Will your funeral feature politicians, a 24 motorcycle police escort, a standing room only crowd at Grace Cathedral and international members of various Imperial Courts along with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in full mourning garb?
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJCT 8 Grand Junction)
 
 
 
"Bear with me, I'm a little horse"
source: kjct8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Protip: If you draw a mustache and tattoo-style teardrops on someone's face while performing surgery, you're going to get sued. Photo included
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
As if driving an old Ford Taurus wasn't enough of a symbol of your failure to succeed in life, it can also cause you to do hard time in a Mexican prison
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
How often are you naked?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Social worker adopts boy she had tried to find a home for after 10 years of bouncing around in the system. 'She knows my worst side, and she still cares about me and still loves me'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Study asks "Does watching porn make you more sexist?" Farkers reply: "What's wrong with being sexy?"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Gloucestershire)
 
 
 
Not News: Ronnie and Reggie Kray live lavish prison lifestyle at taxpayers' expense. FARK: They're guinea pigs
source: thisisgloucestershire.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Sorry, gentlemen, but please break in during regular visiting hours. And the Queen is not home now
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Judge says government can't seize your motorcycle just because you drive it over the speed limit
source: blogs.vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HyperVocal)
 
 
 
Just a rocket over NYC, no biggie
source: hypervocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"What do you buy the children of the terrorist who tried to kill your wife?" Well, kids these days seem to be into My Little Pony and whatever Ben 10 is
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If your psychic tells you she is dictating messages to you from beyond the grave that come from Colin Powell and Brad Pitt, you may want to do a little research before forking over the cash
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
Not news: Tyrannosaurus Rex creates havoc. News: In Carmel. Fark: It's a lawn ornament
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Cops say man was urinating in public. Man says he was pouring out a beer. Cops point out he had no container. Man blows .249, so his urine was probably beer by American standards
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maui News)
 
 
 
Historians investigate what happened to 29 airmen and 4 sailors missing since the attack on Pearl Harbor, plan to display their names at the USS Arizona memorial. Fark: Japanese airmen and sailors, that is
source: mauinews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLP)
 
 
 
US Coast Guard decides "Fark the 200-mile limit, if your papers aren't in order, we're going to bust your sailboat full of cocaine no matter how far out in international waters you are"
source: wwlp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Bad: You get kidnapped, beaten, and dumped on the street. Worse: The cops who come to your aid find out about your federal warrant. Fark: They also search your apartment and find the pot, coke, meth, heroin and cash
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In Little Rock, the students will now have to remove the teachers underwear before being molested
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Sure, you say you value your online privacy, but why aren't you erasing your cookies, encrypting your email, and clearing your browser?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Caption this lord and lady examining a sculpture
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Dear parents: Welcome to a new school year. We'd like to inform you that your precious snowflake is looking a bit on the chunky side
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Despite days of thrusting and grinding on Assad, Obama fails to find the G20 "sweet spot", and limps home. Putin still refuses to put out
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Nothing could be worse than Ben Affleck playing Batman, right? Photoshop other possible unpopular superhero castings
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Not news: Drunk, jobless WASPs show up at your barbecue ready to fight. Fark: Drunk, jobless wasps show up at your barbecue ready to fight
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Detective resigns after being caught with a prostitute while "on duty, but not in uniform." Yeah, the uniform gets in the way
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kearney Hub)
 
 
 
Problem: man wants to stop people dumping cats and dogs in the woods. Solution: almost 35 years later, he runs the largest no-kill, care-for-life sanctuary in the nation for abandoned pets. Caturday surrenders
source: kearneyhub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
The next time you're stuck in traffic trying to get home from work just be glad you're not trapped on a remote volcano because your helicopter is covered in ice
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
DC to require a 24-hour waiting period for tattoos, presumably to obtain a proper translation of the Chinese character you thought was cool
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
"How music's worst format has found a new life thanks to hipster labels." Dammit, I thought we were done with 8-tracks
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
It's going to be doggone impossible to get traditional cuisine in Asia after new meat ban takes effect
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
The World's Largest Lunch Box Museum, because of course there is
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
What do you do when your house is slated for demolition? You swap address numbers with the one next door -And the city knocks down your neighbor's house
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Topless Robot)
 
 
 
Toy stores in the United Kingdom will drop gender-specific toy aisles, because "children--regardless of gender--should be able to play with the toys they want"
source: toplessrobot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Another genius marketing decision from Florida - Use a squirrel to promote train safety
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Old-timey amusement park auctioning off its "attractions." Come for the 12-foot fiberglass rabbit. Stay for the animatronic...uh...rats? (w/ pics)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Florida's Attorney General targeting a t-shirt manufacturer for selling shirts marked with prescription drug names like Xanax, Adderall, and Vicodin. If only there were some sort of pill he could take to chill
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Would you like to sit in the first class section, coach section or lactation section?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri September 06, 2013
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Texas company tests the "no such thing as bad publicity" rule with a decal that make it look like a kidnapped woman is in the back of your truck
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Just a normal happy day at the zoo.. oh look that monkey just ripped off a baby's testicle and is eating it in front of the mother
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
McDonald's to begin selling "family sized" meal boxes in Missouri, where they will undoubtedly be an unqualified success
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smoking hot 49-year-old underwear model can't get work because she looks too young (w/some Not safe for work pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA El Paso)
 
 
 
Man tries to sneak into U.S. from Mexico inside chile shipment. A bottle of tequila was found near him. Link includes great picture of his capture
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kinja)
 
 
 
Check out some of the coolest gas stations to ever dot the American road
source: roadtrippers.kinja.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this head scratcher
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Progress)
 
 
 
Good: You arrange for volunteers to help manage traffic for your weekend-long music festival. Bad: They all quit at noon on the first day. Fark: Resulting traffic jam lasts 7 hours
source: dailyprogress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Publishing the abilities of the NSA helps our enemies. YOU DON'T SAY?
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
The Syrian Electronic Army has been added to the FBI's Wanted list. Now it's only a matter of time until the SEA hacks in and changes the names to this year's Dancing With The Stars contestants
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Break)
 
 
 
Imagine the squirt gun battle you could have with a military drone armed with a Super Soaker
source: break.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Real love with a Real Doll. It's the mainstream now, baby
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
Survey shows that 65% of incoming Harvard freshmen are virgins--or filled out their incoming freshman survey while their parents were watching
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
I have a dream that one day, women will be able to sit on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial without men taking photos up their skirts
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man pays property taxes in one dollar bills to protest "stolen money." Why, yes, he is homeschooling his children. How did you know?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
"Being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow you head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: 'Do I have mail?' Well, do ya, punk?"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Silly, superstitious provincials still insist on skipping 13 when numbering building floors
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sprayed shell
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Welcome to Fark Weird News Quiz #260. Now with electrolytes
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man jailed for trying to replace his homemade Enterprise bridge with a homemade Voyager bridge. Or maybe it was the child porn?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
14 ways your cupcakes are making a fool out of you. Well, maybe you guys, but I keep my cupcakes whipped into shape
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
"Bake mother a media leaf: The casual leather hermits rewards a hospital potato beheading in your rear with song wins and damning jean ale. You should sing covers with a bass man or a Seger in terrier womb"
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Disabled woman sues for accommodations to law school entrance test, including twice the amount of time, a computer, white noise machine, and food and drink. Plans to request similar accommodations from judges and juries
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Send help for victims of nationwide flooding, Niger pleas
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(About.com)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread (and just a day late): Unlike most threads, we really do mean it when we ask for your meaty sausage. Do you make your own? Use sausage in interesting ways when you're cooking? Show us the good stuff.. and hopefully most of it is SFW
source: busycooks.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upworthy)
 
 
 
I don't always go to Vietnam, but when I do, it's to raise awareness of the dangers of unexploded ordnance by blowing up a shiat-ton of old bombs
source: upworthy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Shocking new study finds that people who make more money have more money in their retirement savings plan
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
NASA joins Instagram, so prepare for cosmic selfies
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lacrosse Tribune)
 
 
 
Sexually assaulting a 14-year-old girl and extorting $30,000 from your father for faking your own kidnapping? Now that's multitasking
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
If you can't find your TV, flipping off a sheriff's helicopter may not help the search
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
News: Incestuous rednecks with low IQs upset at being called incestuous rednecks with low IQs. FARK: Not Florida
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC DFW)
 
 
 
DFW airport police shoot fish in a barrel, run sting operation on TSA employees
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
I for one am shocked, SHOCKED, that Pat Robertson would lie about helping Rwandans to pad his church's coffers
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
The always timely UN is finally getting around to the George Zimmerman case. If they were any slower to act, they'd be the Sanford Police Department
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN asks: "Who do you think you are, Internet? Why you so mad?" Internet: "We put tags on cats and produce more solid leads for news than you have since 1985. Don't make us angry. You wouldn't like us when we're angry"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Match the arrestee with their J.O.B. in this week's Friday photo fun. Contest ends 6:00pm EST
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Frisky)
 
 
 
Yeah, why CAN'T the guy with 6000 Barbie Dolls get a date?
source: thefrisky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Advice to bloggers: Comparing someone who isn't actually a child molester to Jerry Sandusky is probably going to get you sued
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAM)
 
 
 
Not EVERY guy that drives up to kids claiming his dog is missing is a pervy child-napper
source: wtam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
USDA quietly lifts ban on processed chicken from China. The added melamine, H7N9 and lead will now be known as 'flavor enhancers'
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Baby survives seven-storey fall from balcony, and in possibly related news, empty space pod discovered on Kansas farm
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Camden's only supermarket is closing today, forcing people to eat each other
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photos of a Jaguar using water to sneak up on its prey, and drag the thing off. Fark: prey is a caiman
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis Flyer)
 
 
 
Hops-icles, because there can never be too many ways to enjoy a beer
source: memphisflyer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
'We have our plans': Vladimir Putin warns US, and since we know Putin, those plans probably involve getting drunk and wrestling with a bear shirtless
source: theguardian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The 'sex' tape that got Kim Jong-un's ex-girlfriend executed is actually kind of a letdown
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
He took it out. He took it out. He took it out. He took it out. He took it out. He took it out. He took it out
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
If you find a pantless female burglar in your kitchen eating milk and cookies, don't leave her alone in the room while you call the police
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
Hitler's ex-bodyguard dies at the age of 96. No word if he will be cremated or not
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Police officer paralyzed by falling tree returns to work in wheelchair, braces for onslaught of "Family Guy" jokes
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canada not only has ninjas in their military, but also ninja moving companies
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Yo, this is the most unusual wet weather warning EVAR. Boom
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bubblews)
 
 
 
Heart transplant recipient says he dreams of the gun battle that ended donor cop's life, now has an insatiable craving for jelly donuts
source: bubblews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Express Tribune (Pakistan))
 
 
 
It's a hard time to be a Christian in Syria. Okay, it's a hard time to be an anything in Syria
source: tribune.com.pk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
14-year-old Newark boy fatally shot for no reason. Unless you consider a handgun and 30 bricks of heroin in his bedroom to be "reasons"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Ehlephant
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWMT Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Dallas Zoo welcomes two new cheetah cubs, will put them in a cage with a puppy who has been temporarily been named "Snack"
source: wwmt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bennington Banner)
 
 
 
A snake, why did it have to be a snake? "Upon arrival, police refused to exit their cars" - FTFA
source: benningtonbanner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGNO)
 
 
 
I don't mean to alarm you hunters and bird feeders, but somebody just invented a bulletproof squirrel
source: wgno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harvard Crimson)
 
 
 
Turns out the question that goes with the answer "42" is "what percentage of incoming Harvard freshmen cheated on their homework?" Duke sucks
source: thecrimson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Thirteen New England patients possibly exposed to fatal brain disease. Great, now who's gonna protect Brady in the pocket?
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNet Australia)
 
 
 
After a while, the sound of the cicadas becomes oppressive. The goat doesn't move. The sunlight feels like a hot weight. Weary of petting, we turn to explore the world
source: cnet.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Coconut detained by Maldivian police on suspicion of vote-rigging. Lime still at large
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Messy Nessy Chic)
 
 
 
For a mere $1.7 million you can have this lovely retro chic home in Las Vegas...I'm sorry, that's under Las Vegas
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
After taking 24 minutes to lap around Manhattan, speedster Christopher 'Afroduck' Tang thought he had passed go... but will only be going to jail instead
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
You know your ATM network is low-budget when the guy who fills it carries a 'Make-A-Wish' duffel bag with $50k for filling the machines
source: providencejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Vigil for alleged robber blown away by storeclerk ends when two protesters are shot
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Pooty Poot pulls parody penis painting
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Carlsbad Current Argus)
 
 
 
Police respond to a call about a naked prowler arrive to the neighborhood, but are only able to find a badly beaten naked man instead. Damn, he got away
source: currentargus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Iran sends out messages to its insurgents in Iraq to attack U.S. assets: WWIII to start in next few weeks
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fay Observer)
 
 
 
Don't run with scissors. Also, don't attack a cop and steal his patrol car with scissors
source: fayobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Scientists now have new insight into how coral becomes bleached. You still have to go to a salon to bleach a starfish
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this call to God
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know how a full moon looks huge when it's near the horizon and then gradually shrinks as it rises? It's all an illusion that's in your head and not even the world's best scientists and philosophers can explain why
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Multiple off-campus apartments invaded, men tied up, women molested, party crashed and 25 people locked in a bedroom, shots fired, people injured...just a normal Thursday night in Florida [gunman still at large]
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
If you wonder why that automatic 18% tip is missing from your restaurant bill you can now thank the IRS
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The American Conservative)
 
 
 
Pregnant single woman writes letter to Pope Francis asking for advice. Cool: Pope calls her cell phone, reassures her that she'll be fine, offers to list himself as the child's father
source: theamericanconservative.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Coolest Mom EVAR
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Fox News correspondent says that forcing hungry children to skip a meal while at school is a "teaching moment"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother of two is kicked out of McDonald's for injecting drugs into herself. FARK: It was insulin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Hairstyles such as dreadlocks, Afros and other faddish styles are unacceptable." Racist? Why yes it is
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Swarms of crickets invade Oklahoma, eat each other and smell 'like rotted meat'. Of course, the rotted meat smell may just be coming from the McDonald's they're swarming over in the picture
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Florida county bans nicotine. There, that should fix everything
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Wind turbine destroyed by: a) terrorist bomb, b) lightning strike, or c) gust of wind
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
West Virginia leads the charge to bring back square dancing, because that's fun
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Serious Eats)
 
 
 
How tipping actually works. This should solve it once and for all
source: newyork.seriouseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
It's getting so bad you can't even have sex in an abandoned building without getting charged with public indecency
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Today we salute you, Mr. Found a Dead Snake in Your Beer. While lesser men would scream like a little girl, you laughed it off. So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Snake Dude. You've earned it
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu September 05, 2013
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Husband asking people on the street for a kidney for his wife gets one
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Never go Full Retard: Kenneth Cole has been accused of 'mocking war to sell fashion'. Tweets, 'Boots on the ground or not, let's not forget about sandals, pumps and loafers'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 13 Orlando)
 
 
 
Another reason for children to fear the dentist...they might stop breathing
source: mynews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman spends £20,000 on boob jobs and tanning injections to look like Pamela Anderson. No word on how much it cost to contract Hepatitis C
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Even your encrypted communications are being read by the NSA
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Info Wars)
 
 
 
Syrian rebels admit using chemical weapons to "kill like Osama bin Laden said"
source: infowars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Marketing fail 101: "These shoes will make you run so hard you'll kill your dog"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop these airborne fellows
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Normal coffee makes you poop. Starbuck's coffee makes you poop snakes
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It's a tough market out there but really, do we really have to make our graduates dance during job interviews?... Yes.... yes we do
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
First confirmed drone strike on American soil
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Madison Courier)
 
 
 
Indiana town to hold Honey Boo Boo look-alike contest, offer 10 new $1 bills for Grand Supreme Honey Boo Boo
source: madisoncourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Female topless protest group was founded by a dude (Not safe for work images)
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oakland Press)
 
 
 
Headline asks, "Applicants needed: Job openings are piling up; why isn't anyone actually hiring?" Article goes on to explain, "We dunno"
source: theoaklandpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
French press agency issues 'mandatory kill' order on 'unflattering' photo of French president. (w/ goofy pic)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
This is just the sort of statement that will get a county sheriff hauled into a congressional hearing: "The war on drugs was a failure"
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pole dancing is a great way for your child to exercise. It almost burns as many calories as street walking
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Rupert Murdoch divorced his wife because she was a Chinese spy, says guy suing Murdoch for defamation
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Forest Service investigators know who started the Yosemite Rim Fire, plan to let him stew a while before turning up the heat
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high selfie
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bad analogy thread. GO
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Prominent marijuana activist killed by drunk driver
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Suicidal millipedes cause Australian train crash: Is America next?
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
School apologizes for serving bacon sandwiches to Muslim students, claims it was Allah mistake
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Whatever else he may or may not be, it's becoming pretty clear that George Zimmerman is a sh*tty driver
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Sarasota beaches: world renowned for its crystal sand, clear blue water and hordes of flashers
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
TSA: 'Pay $85 to skip our security checks and get back the dignity and the rights that we stole from you'
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Jim Thorpe fights to keep Jim Thorpe in Jim Thorpe
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature World News)
 
 
 
Apparently some Boomer has not been playing enough GTA and Tomb Raider
source: natureworldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Now News)
 
 
 
It appears the Syrians were only trying to gas a few hundred people but they got the dosage wrong. Well that settles that. War called off
source: now.mmedia.me   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Remember that bakery that refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple in Oregon? Yeah, the free market shut it down
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Today's grammar lesson is about starting sentences with the phrase, 'May I please...' For instance, "May I please have an ice pack to bring down the swelling where you punched me in the face for having bad grammar?"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Unlike the British, the Russians are coming
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Couple having sex in taxi upsets fellow commuters. "Their driver should have stopped and told them to get out," said one. "They weren't even wearing seat belts. "
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HyperVocal)
 
 
 
Score another win for Russia's It Gets Worse campaign
source: hypervocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Go home semi. You're drunk. And you owe me a new car (with picture)
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Man drives his truck through a wall to escape police officers. OH, YEAH
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Skip school in Atlanta? That's a shootin'
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Us vs Th3m)
 
 
 
Otherwise known as "six signs that you're a Farker"
source: usvsth3m.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Vicar at church which worships baby with no father refuses to baptize baby with no father
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby panda born at The National Zoo
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Today, in bonkers purchases: Not only did a man pony up $120,000 for a one-foot-wide slice of beach in East Hampton, he secured his tony property after an intense bidding war with another Manhattan financier
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So, people are weird to those born on September 11th now for some reason
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Sleep texting is now a thing
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Beer. It's awesome. But it can do THIS to you
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Surveillance changes behavior. Ceiling cat unavailable for comment
source: bits.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leaping Burning Man attendee
source: media.utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Town apologizes for 'Allah is Gay' bumper sticker, insists what they meant was 'Allah has impeccable taste, just adores show tunes, and is not only a marvelous dancer but has a wardrobe to die for'
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You might not want to hear this, you overworked miserable wretches, but medieval peasants got more vacation time than us. Now get back to work
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
This runaway dog belonging to a dog trainer escaped when it learned to open the door - but it was rescued by staff on an historic steam railway who used their train to "push" it to safety
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
"Ariel Castro Failed By System"
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
Though DC Entertainment likes to turn their characters gay for cheap headlines, much like a Republican congress they still won't let their gay characters get married
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scribd)
 
 
 
Read the revised Senate Syria Resolution, because if you still need NyQuil and Ex-Lax, this is cheaper than a doctor
source: scribd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Clearly fish is meat," said Jeff Kerr, an attorney for PETA. "They have thoughts. They have interests. They have a central nervous system. They are not swimming vegetables"
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Hey, don't you worry about where you will get your medical cannabis - the state liquor control board is taking care of it
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Possible dyslexia for cure found
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
NRA and ACLU join together in suit against NSA
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Put your tinfoil hats away, there is new software available to encrypt your phone so the NSA can't spy on you, granted to get it means you'd be supporting terrorists, but the NSA thinks that anyway so download away
source: investigations.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
The latest threat to your children? Limes
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
When holding up a liquor store, make sure that the clerk isn't a 30-year army vet and former prison guard, who will put a gun to your mouth before you can even blink. w/vid
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Woman never gives up on trying to win her husband's heart
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Bad: You burn 64 burger patties in a BBQ mishap. Fark: You burn 64 cars in a BBQ mishap
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 435: "Macrophotography". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
This just in. Reporting a credit card stolen to the police doesn't automatically cancel the card, as this county on the hook for a summer's $31k worth of stolen fuel discovered
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed September 04, 2013
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Special needs child throws a fit at a Pizza Joint so a customer goes over and slaps him on the face. Just kidding, he pays for meal and throws in a awesome note to boot
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you're a man on a first date, you could do what most men do and pay for your date's drinks. Or you could do what this guy did and steal her phone after she shows up without any money
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Caption these inquisitive owls
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Just because you saw it on Breaking Bad doesn't mean it's a good idea
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Come for the low, low furniture prices - stay for the lynching of the black effigy
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study: Sex makes women happy; just not with you
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Whoever Air Berlin has posting their Twitter updates is probably feeling pretty stupid now, considering they just delivered one of the best social media meltdowns ever seen
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
McDonald's may unveil a "high priced" dollar menu at stores nationwide, forgetting what the terms "high priced" and "dollar" actually mean
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Cruz Sentinel)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games until somebody picks up roadkill and starts swinging it over her head like a helicopter
source: santacruzsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
You're a junior high baseball coach and you don't like how your kids are playing. Do you: A) make them stay late practicing fundamentals; B) threaten to bench them during a game; or C) throw baseballs at them?
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Christian love: Oakland man murders atheist after debating God's existence
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tank-to-tank transfer
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Woman pulled over for breastfeeding on moped, is sure to milk the resulting publicity for all its worth
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
To say this couple is excited to be having twins is, well, a bit of an overstatement. Just a little
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Russia gave Syria chemical weapons. This will end well
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Forget Stand Your Ground, now we have 'The Bush Doctrine'. Stay classy, Florida
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Brave, noble vigilante outraged at what has become of his once-great city promises to publicly expose and shame: A) child molesters; B) drug dealers; or C) food stamp and disability recipients
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
From today's "Good Luck With That" file: Chelsea Manning has filed the papers requesting a pardon from President Obama
source: nation.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Senate resolution for WW3 includes boots on the ground. So much for just a few missile strikes
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these two in a tube
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
Ugly ass endangered, poisonous vipers born at Saint Louis Zoo. Wait, they did that on PURPOSE?
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
McCain pulls his support for Obama's Syria strike. His reason? NOT ENOUGH BOOM
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
Bad: Locking yourself out of the house. Worse: In your robe. Fark: It's the Governor's Mansion
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Rob somebody in Virginia at gun point? That's a beat... TOTAL A** KICKING
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Sure, Bashar Assad may be a genocidal dictator. But at least he he manages to keep his cute Instagram feed up to date
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Gun range to be built between a shelter for victims of domestic abuse and a gun store. Yup, that was the missing step
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Will Utah's new school grading system erode support for public schools? The $tate GOP certainly hope$ $o
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"We were in love and wanted to do something together. So I thought, 'Why not the cannon?'"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Young Witness)
 
 
 
There's "drinking a lot", "drinking too much", "drinking obscenely", and "drinking so much you're sought by police for performing nude situps on a parked car"
source: youngwitness.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dorkly)
 
 
 
No callback for an interview? Weird, I was sure that the My Little Pony resume I submitted would really impress them
source: dorkly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
When you're embarking on a month without booze to raise funds for a cancer charity, getting drunk and biting a cop is no way to start
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The American Prospect)
 
 
 
What's killing poor white women? Other than my talking dog alter ego, of course
source: prospect.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
The only thing that can stop a verbally abusive man with a crossbow is another verbally abusive man with a crossbow. Or maybe a police dogpile, that works too
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Teen cured of cancer says God was his co-pilot, but science was the mechanic
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Note to Chinese interrogators: That whole "forcing the suspect's head into a bucket of water to extract a confession" thing works WAY better if you remember to let him up for air once in a while
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
You know those times when you have two friends that start dating, even though they're exact opposites? Yeah... this is that but WAAAAAYYYY more epic
source: america.aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News-Herald)
 
 
 
Dispatch, this is Car 28. Naked suspect has been found and will be taken into custody after I get him off the roof of the cruiser
source: news-herald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
North Carolina's gun buyback program comes full circle
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
After 528 year wait, Richard III's test results are in: roundworm
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Study suggests heavy drinking may impair ability to interpret social cues, recognize good headlines
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
How soot stopped the little Ice Age. WOO WOO
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Wouldn't you just assume any mobile home you tried to rob would be full of armed tenants?
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Catholic University fires Geraldo Rivera for sharing more than his conservative views
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Men's magazine in India does sex study, discovers that India has the lowest number of sexual experiences, while horny Croatians are banging anything not nailed down, and some things that are
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this calligrapher and his brush
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Not News: MLB player busted for drugs. Fark: Mailing marijuana to his dog
source: ftw.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Florida planning to sell 5,000 acres of land. No word yet on whether it will be sold by the acre or by the gallon
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Epoch Times)
 
 
 
To prevent the use of chemical weapons, Obama is planning a war which might cause the proliferation and loss of control of chemical weapons...Not sure they thought this one through
source: theepochtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Labor Day wasn't even over and the shelves were already full of craft pumpkin ales
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Testicle-attacking monster found in Paris, although anybody that's ever dated her could tell you that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
The FBI has increased its surveillance of Syrians inside the US. How did this process fare when they tried it in the past? "The FBI's interviews with Iraqi-Americans in 2003 were largely unproductive"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Dad remembers his old comic book collection, sells Spider-Man #1 to pay for his daughter's wedding. In other news, physical proof that a Silver Age comic collector has actually gotten laid
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN takes a look at 25 of the most iconic photographs. List FAILS for not including
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Bad: Breaking your ankle while hiking in a remote area. Good: Helicopter ambulance arrives and hoists you out of there. Bad: Hoist snaps and you plummet 90m to your death
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10TV Columbus)
 
NewsFlash
 
Ariel Castro swings through lifetime prison sentence in record time
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Crikey
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Science shows that as people become wealthier, they get stingier." YOU DON'T SAY
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Georgia's school superintendent runs for governor; unveils official website today -- and misspells "Governor"
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists to release thousands of genetically modified moths into the wild, because what could possibly go wrong?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Where's Billy Mays when you need him INTRODUCING "THE PEE STRAIGHT" DON'T RISK THOSE PESKY $15 FINES JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE POOR AIM
source: behindthewall.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Are 16 cans of compressed air a lot to huff while locked away overnight in a K-mart till you are found the next morning passed out and covered in urine and vomit?
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KERO 23 Bakersfield)
 
 
 
Study finds that six men per day wind up in the emergency room due to zipper induced penis injuries. "This is important for (physician) training because the next generation of doctors needs to know how to release the zipper from the penis"
source: turnto23.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
"Dear parishioners. We need volunteer greeters at the front door of the church. If you're not white, please don't apply. Sincerely, your pastor"
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC Cleveland)
 
 
 
Judge makes idiot wear sign in order to inform rest of world that he is, in fact, an idiot
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue September 03, 2013
(Kare11)
 
 
 
"...the teen's father called authorities after he came home early Sunday and encountered his girlfriend running from the 13-year-old's bedroom nude from the waist down"
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSVN Miami)
 
 
 
Family kicked out of Universal Studios because dad wore a shirt with the word 'POLICE' on it. No comment from Sting or displaced Female Body Inspectors
source: wsvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not News: During WW1 a British POW asked the Germans for permission to go home to see his dying mother. News: They gave a two week pass conditional he returned. Fark: He did. They just don't make wars like the used to
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Time for another round of Whose Fark Is It Anyway, the game where everyone's drunk and nothing matters. Tonight's topic: Things not to do in bed
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
"We are a house of 10 men who all are seniors at UVM and are looking for an attractive older woman to come and cook for us every few days. In exchange she gets her pick of the men of the house to have"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Raising awareness about climate change in the Arctic. News: By rowing through the Northwest Passages. FARK: Being forced to quit due to overwhelming amounts of sea ice
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
It's all about the beards and the beads in this week's Mugshot Roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man gets booked into Oklahoma jail with loaded Derringer pistol hidden in his rectum, damn near killed him
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Worst. Disguise. Ever
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Police say a Springfield man found his friend and girlfriend having sex at his apartment, then attacked the friend with a samurai sword
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pensive girl in the park
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Stubbs, Cat-Mayor in Alaska survives assassination attempt. The dog may not be as lucky
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman claims to have recorded mysterious 'hum' that has baffled scientists for 40 years. Played backward you can just make out "Paul is dead"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Good: Kayaking around Australian island while on vacation. Bad: Getting trapped for two weeks by giant crocodile. Good: Being rescued and given a beer. Bad: It's Fosters
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Cities)
 
 
 
Obama administration approves the laser bombardment of the Jersey Shore
source: theatlanticcities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield News-Leader)
 
 
 
Discussion turned unbearable? A simple "concrete bear to the head" will solve that
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
My child shouldn't be required to learn because it takes away from their play time
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Woman wants to ban shops from displaying plastic storage containers and alligator clips, for the children
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Drones in China will deliver packages with the same enthusiasm as your postal worker
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Smoking chimp sent to rehab for nicotine and alcohol addiction after career as Russian casino mascot. Pray for Mojo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Researchers dismayed to find that Gen Y employees are the first to figure out how corporate America really works. I'd finish this headline, but I just got thrown under the bus by Steve in Accounting
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Hasan chopped, man at Home Depot successfully locates a ho, and Victoria's Secret models giving out handjobs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/25 - 8/31
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this deutsche Feuer fight
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
What's in the box?
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
What's more terrifying than living in a haunted house? All the people who want to come stare at it
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
"Crack pipes are not part of a balanced diet"
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Get named in 16 separate civil rights lawsuits and cost the city more than $300,000 in settlements? That's a firi-actually, on the NYPD, that's apparently a promotion and a $15,000 raise
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Archimedes: 1, Mythbusters: 0
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowell Sun)
 
 
 
Confidential informant always knew where the drugs were because he had just planted them
source: lowellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
House Speaker John Boehner gives Obama the green light to start WWIII
source: firstread.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Escalator temporarily fire. Sorry for the convenience
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware County Daily Times)
 
 
 
What good is being a sheriff if you can't pull draw your service weapon on citizens during a verbal disagreement in a parking lot of a bar?
source: delcotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
Growing pot at your house? You might want to rethink that security system that calls the police when there's a break-in
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Mynd yøu, drunken møøse can be quite nasti
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Rapist's attorney: client is "remorseful" and it "is troubling him". Rapist's victim: enjoy your AIDS
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baton Rouge Advocate)
 
 
 
FARK ready headline: Man dies after wrench fight
source: theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"Ishag the meth-addled bi-polar swordsman" may not be the surprise hit movie of the summer, at least with the police
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when your boss calls and interrupts what you're doing? Especially if what you're doing is running from the cops?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
It's probably not a good idea to have your buddy in the trunk while your pot plants ride shotgun
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Assad: You attack me, I take this whole region down with me. The world hasn't seen such regional destruction since the Great War. Also, I look like Captain Darling. Your justification for war is invalid
source: livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Monday just isn't Monday without a dwarf being set on fire
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The US government may not know what it's doing about the situation in Syria yet, but they do know how to deal with rogue banjo players, dammit
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Too many criminals are paying $500 to a lawyer to establish a trust, then spending $15k more to buy a machine gun, $1k more to buy a silencer, $400 more in tax stamps and waiting 8-10 months to go kill a bunch of people
source: blog.princelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook