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| Sun August 11, 2013 |
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Smoke 'em if you got 'em: Pot was first banned in California 100 years ago
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Sushi in the bathtub, smoking on the toilet, and some vintage clothes. All part of my house arrest
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Judge orders mother to change her baby's name from "Messiah." This did not happen in Hawaii, and it is not a repeat from 1961
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Top 5 college bars in America. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE
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Photoshop this street preacher
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You may have taken some missteps in life when you have to call the police because you are locked inside a forest
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For those of you who never leave mom's basement (or don't have a good view), NASA will have a live webcast of the Perseid meteor shower, which will be at its peak tonight and early tomorrow morning
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Daily Mail reveals how to make Cronuts from the comfort of your own kitchen. Mmm, Cronuts
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One man is going on-strike for "Middle Child Day," which is designed to get middle children all the "respect and attention they deserve." Naturally, he's being ignored
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If you stole $20k worth of diesel fuel the Baltimore County police would like to have a word with you
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Apparently it will put your eye out
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Woman pays rent to apartment office. Rent is stolen from office. Management threatens eviction unless woman pays rent again, you know to cover the rent that was stolen
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For the landing on Mars footage, the government will not use a studio like the one for the moon landing, they have settled on the slopes of a Hawaiian volcano
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Photoshop this shepherd
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Man walks into pet store, leaves with two $800 pugs shoved in his pants (w/surveillance video)
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Great news for your mom, as Olympic Pole Dancing may become a reality
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Millennials don't want cars. They'd rather bike everywhere and feel superior to everyone else
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Down syndrome community: We must find ways to better treat those with Down syndrome. Scientists: We found a possible cure for Down syndrome. Down syndrome community: We didn't want a cure. Scientists: *facepalm*
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Lakewood, Washington considers banning toy guns, because apparently the real gun problem has all been taken care of
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10 things to know before visiting Pyongyang. #1- Best Koreans brew great beer. And then it gets weird
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That must be some important potato
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Army veteran with PTSD taking a walk at the Jersey shore with your service dog? That's a ticketing and removal from the boardwalk
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People who live in glass houses should really buy curtains
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Carolina Crown wins their first-ever Drum Corps International world championship title with a score of 98.30, beating defending champs Blue Devils by .25 points. No, not *those* Blue Devils, but Duke still sucks
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Foul flap: Man cited for pet chickens tells police he'll eat them this weekend
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Florida attracts 1,400 Police Impersonators, yet one state lawmaker wants to employ them instead of putting them in jail
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Google reveals the ten worst ******** ideas. Wait, why is ******** showing up like that? I tried to type ******** and it keeps doing it. Guys, seriously, can you see it when I type ********? This is really freaking me out
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And in other news, Russia has invented the Tank Biathlon
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Not news: 11 year old Texas boy spends his summer mowing lawns. News: He does it to raise money for Moore, OK and raises $16k
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If your 5-year-old is already drinking a soda a day before he starts school, that education may be too little, too late
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With its surprisingly scary crime problem, Meridian Mississippi police are hot on the trail of satanists. Fark: who turn people gay. TotalFark: in the afterlife
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The eight most superfluous restaurant surcharges. It's bad enough you may have to shell out $100 for a steak, but having to spend $3 for a little A-1 steak sauce is just ridiculous
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Photoshop this rodent catching air
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$740 million is the amount A) spent on beefing up security in light of the Ramadan terror threat; B) Americans spent on liquor this summer; C) the United States Postal Service lost in 3rd quarter 2013
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"Of course I'm drunk. It's Thursday night in Iowa," Illinois man who is clearly depressed at finding himself in Iowa tells police
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No, no, no, no, no. NO
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Ow, my balls
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Religious family flees U.S. "to take a leap of faith and see where God led us" and has to be rescued at sea
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Goodwill donations are exploding
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| Sat August 10, 2013 |
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12 year-old boy in Arkansas finds 5.16 carat diamond. Looks like de beers are on him
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There is an award for the world's coolest parking lot? Actually, some of them are pretty amazing
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"I just want bigger boobs, because I'm not happy with the ones that I have. And I figured this was a good way to do it. People put out signs that they're homeless. I'm not, haha, so I'm just being honest,"
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Believers: "This tree is weeping God's tears". Tree expert: "No, that's bug crap"
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Missing White Girl Alert cancelled. Perp found with mineral injection
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Photoshop Theme: Detroit in 50 years
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Kid finds out he has the coolest mom in town
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IRS: Fine. If you won't let us target conservative groups and the Tea Party, we'll just target small businesses instead. Happy now?
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Does science support the 12-step program? Pour yourself another and read this
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How the Japanese eye-licking hoax went global. Short version: journalists are lazy and will print anything
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Never say never if you have always had a dream of building your own home from scratch, even if you're blind
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Cleveland police refuse to return gun to man who consented to a legal search. Naturally, the gun owner is suing for the return of his weapon--and tens of thousands of dollars in damages
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Statistics show that talking on a hand-held cell phone while driving does not lead to more accidents. Texting drivers are still assholes though
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Cleveland Plain Dealer forgets to register their Twitter handle, so ClevelandScene picks it up and then exchanges it with the Plain Dealer for a case of Great Lakes Oktoberfest and a 6-pack of PBR. WELL PLAYED, GOOD SIRS
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Photoshop this ferry-frog and his passenger
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For today's teacher bangs student story we have a Catholic school tutor who likes to pose for her 15-year-old boytoy with just a garter belt on for his phone pictures (w/ you'd let her tutor you too pic)
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Redheads stage the first Ginger Pride Walk in Edinburgh, where they are not at risk of exposure to sunlight
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Lego-loving loser named Langenbach to languish in lockup after being busted for bungled brick burglary
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Japan is now trying solutions from the X-Men to stem the Fukushima leaks
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A man who believes strip clubs should have the same tax benefits as Broadway theaters wants to dance all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court
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Number of taxpayers who renounced U.S. citizenship hits record high. And that's not even counting Edward Snowden
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Welcome to the tiny republic of Molossia, where everyone is welcome but spinach and onions are banned. Did I mention it is located within the borders of Nevada?
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Medical technology teacher gets caught playing doctor with one of her students
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True, if your wife freaks out over spiders in the house, you might not want to tell her about the bear in the kitchen
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One more reason to hate adults younger than you: They have no idea how to properly stock a kitchen pantry
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So, remind me again, how much do you tip the water sommelier?
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The end of the only reason to go to a Mets game
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In the wee town of Tomich, Scotland, folk gathered at Guisachan House, the 19th century home of Dudley Coutts Majoribanks, the first Baron Tweedmouth. With their 222 Golden Retrievers. And no one understood a damn thing anyone was saying
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Americans say the ideal lifespan is 90 years. Although, counting junk food and time spent on the couch, for most Americans 90 is about as realistic as 300
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Arizona to 'hotshot' widow: Your husband wasn't full-time, so you don't get any benefits. FEMA to Arizona: Not enough uninsured victims in the wildfire, so you don't get any benefits. Karma's a biatch, ain't she?
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Utah beauty queen charged with possessing bombs. Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more, say...no...more
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Pirate ship in Arizona plundered of booty
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Photoshop this '20's twiddler
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If the only way you'll go camping is if you can sleep in a tent that has hardwood floors, a wine cooler, and is designed to look like the Sydney Opera House, maybe you shouldn't go camping
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The "banal, insidious sexism" of Smurfette. How smurfing stupid
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Extra, Extra, Read All About It: Tiny kitten rescued by TV news staff, has the inside scoop this Caturday
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Police arrest man for smearing buttered toast on neighbor's SUV, damage estimated at $1
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Of course Brooklyn would be on the forefront of dumpster living
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Seeing a $45 billion market up for grabs, Walmart intends to become the Walmart of beer retailers, sets goal of doubling alcohol sales by 2016
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JUGGALO DOWN. I repeat, we have a Juggalo down
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"When officers asked the 21-year-old whether he swallowed the victim's ear, he only smiled"
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| Fri August 09, 2013 |
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Anyone need a firewall/IPS? How about Fark's old one? Guaranteed free of beer/bourbon stains
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During those intimate moments with your man, he is really thinking about having a threesome, or banging your friends
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If cops weren't supposed to sleep in their squads cars, then why did they make the seats so damn comfy?
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91-year-old man recovering from brutal duck attack. "I thought I was walking past them, but first thing I know I had a duck on my back"
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Two police officers who pulled over a drunk driver are in trouble; one officer is accused of having sex with a female passenger, and the other is accused of having the female driver punch him in the genitals
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No matter how bad your day is going, just be glad you never had a mom who would pray daily on the steps of your high school after bullets were found in a school toilet
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Photoshop this David decorator
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"I'm a college student studying 'sexology' and have to have sex with girls who are virgins as part of my research. Yeah, that's the ticket"
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Watermelon babies of China. That's raci....No, I'm not sure what this is
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Anglican priest has "WTFWJD" bumper sticker on her car? WWJD? WTF?
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Woman arrested for allegedly slapping police horse (with mugshot goodness)
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Bank: "Oh, you're dead? That'll be $12/month, please"
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Vietnamese men emerge from jungle after 40 years of no human contact refusing to believe that Keith Richards is still alive
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Prince Harry says no more royal babies
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Women are affected by autism like this, while men are affected by autism like *this*
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You know that horrible feeling when you get to the top floor and realise you've forgotten something? Spain builds 47-story apartment block but forgets elevators
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I'm just glad that I'm an American in a country where (I can tase co-workers and record it and post the videos online) the justice system works (for people that are married to a Texas state representative...)
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Panda named Yuan Yuan gives birth to ugly ass baby at Taipei Zoo
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Cute girl doesn't look like any celebrities, but she make ups for it
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Is Obama's sequestration putting the Earth at an increased risk from interstellar annihilation by an asteroid, comet, or runaway moon?
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By cutting themselves off from the modern world, Mennonites of Bolivia missed out on cars, electricity, and the Internet. But not the "wait until dark, then use cow anesthetic spray on a family so you can gang rape them and blame it on demons" thing
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"So this janitor at a school has tuberculosis. Do you think we should test the kids now, or should we wait two and a half months?"
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Phony candy Easter eggs filled with cocaine, money-stuffed pastries and other bizarre contraband items being confiscated around the world
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In a total shock to everyone all over the world, Obama doesn't think a guy who leaked top secret information to a foreign national in a militarily hostile country is a patriot
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Beer truck crashes through guardrail in Boston, leaving cab dangling in air. With HOLY shiat picture
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Remember the Arctic death spiral? Yeah, nevermind
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You know, a "sorry, my bad" doesn't really cover it when you're responsible for stirring up religious riots in many nations that resulted in dozens of deaths
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Parking Fail: Level EPIC
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Transportation Dept. receives request for exemption from minimum rest requirements for truck drivers. Fark: from the Dept. of Defense, for drivers hauling weapons, munitions and explosives
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NSA Logic: Edward Snowden leaked a bunch of data... so we're going to fire 90% of our sys admins so it won't happen again
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To those in the areas surrounding Canton, "hero" has a deeper meaning; presumably includes those who steal from Boss Higgins and drop the loot from a plane
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| (Some Palm Tree Guy) |
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Have you ever wondered where the oldest palm tree in LA is? Me neither but here it is anyway
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Photoshop this super high diver
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Huh, that's a funny-looking clam OMGOMGOMG
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In a world...where 11 questions will determine his fate...one Farker is ready to step up...and kick some ass. The Fark Quiz is back. And this time...it's personal
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Police training program used Occupy protesters as "guinea pigs" by providing them street pot, then taking them to an isolated warehouse to watch them get high. "Subject appears to be suffering from paranoia, believes government is observing him"
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California man diagnosed as chronically gay
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Sixty eight years ago a Fat Man ruined Nagasaki's day
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Swiss luxury shop denies racism towards Oprah Winfrey, claiming they dislike all persons of color equally
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"I'm a different person now," promises habitual identity thief
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"Dogs trained to help sniff out ovarian cancer." OBGYN visits now even more awkward
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It only took 70 years for Germany to care more about privacy than America
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Telling folks you've done the job and it was a 100% success when you've not actually done anything is ok when you work in an office, not so much when you're a brain surgeon
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Defense attorney: "They are as conscientious a jury as I have ever seen." Prosecutor: This is an outrage. Defense: And I'm wearing eggplant-colored toenail polish
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'MDL FNGR' 'B YOTCH' 'E Z LAY' and more Florida license plates: Denied
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Today is 'Go armed to Starbucks' day, so be careful when asking for that extra shot
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"We live in a violent society." Arizona sheriff orders deputies to carry AR-15 rifles 24/7, even if they're off-duty
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Man arrested for beating his meat on his wife
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When OTHER PEDOPHILES consider someone an embarrassment to their "community," that guy's got some pretty scary opinions
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Hello, police? We got lost in the woods while we were out making meth...I mean, ghost hunting. Yeah, that's the ticket. We were hunting for ghosts, with our wives, Morgan Fairchild
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Nothing says "I love you" more than painting a stripper on a pole for your dad for Father's Day
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Toddler mauled in zoo attack, prompting fresh concerns about the safety of toddler zoos
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Just one week after same-sex marriage became legal in Minnesota, it already has its first divorce
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New York City appeals a dismissed $50 ticket because there's absolutely no better use of its resources
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After getting hundreds of ridiculous robocalls, man sues, learns under a federal law that he's entitled to up to $1500 per unwanted robocall
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39 years ago today, Richard Nixon stepped down and Gerald Ford stepped up, kicked the podium out from under him, took out a row of microphones and got tangled on some Christmas lights
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Welcome to Oregon's oldest nudist camp. BYOEB
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When attempting to befriend a pit bull, the ever-popular 'French Kiss' technique might not be the best choice
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Attractive lawyer needing office supplies decides to use, and also be, the "Easy" button
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Eiffel Tower evacuated after a bomb threat is called in. Tout le monde panique?
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Don't like the terms of a credit card offer you got in the mail? Just change them to what you want, sign it, and send it back to the bank. FARK: and sue their asses when they don't honor them
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Not news: Elegant Moments Men's four-piece adjustable harness. Fark: $55.99 at Sears
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Camping comes to the city. The tent is too damn high
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Shop till you drop
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Don't you hate it when an argument with your roommate ends up with one of you duct-taped to a chair with a stab wound in your ass?
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Two young men rape a 15-year-old girl, share the pics with their friends. Police investigate, and opt not to press charges. Until the Internet finds out. Difficulty: not Steubenville, and a bit too late for the girl
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Man arrested after being unable to decide if he wanted to impersonate the Police, Coast Guard or the TSA
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Article asks, "Why is cycling so popular in the Netherlands?" Perhaps it's all the clogs on the roads
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Research finds that for every 15 additional IQ points there is a 25% drop in the urge for women to have children. Finally, an explanation to what is going on with the Duggars
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Irish tabloid decides to put bikinis on formerly topless Page 3 girls. The Sun in there
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Political prisoner declares hunger strike, expects to die. Difficulty: it's a 16-day sentence, and she's in jail for going topless
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Photoshop Challenge: Finish this unfinished drawing
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Say this about Richard Dawkins: he's an equal-opportunity inflictor of butthurt among the devout
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Lucille Ball's 'I Love Lucy' dress sells at auction for $168,000, is now the most expensive dress in Hollywood that wasn't worn by Dennis Rodman
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Get ready for the avalanche of criticism... The Obamas are headed to Martha's Vineyard for an 8-day luxury stay at a $7.6 million mansion this Saturday... Even if you think he deserves a vacay, let's be honest - that leaves Biden in charge? Hell no
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Seven-year-old Sophia loves the color pink, playing with toys and free-diving with 20-ton sharks... wait, what?
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Thieves break into a sexual assault center, steal a bunch of stuff the center can't afford to replace, break in again, return everything they took, and leave a touching note. Hero tag for the homeless in the area who stepped in and stepped up
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Arrests made in online dating "bring a bunch of cash over so I can roll around in it" robbery scam, which duped at least three Silicon Valley men
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This is the NSA's prize example of why it needs to collect US phone records -- a cab driver who for status reasons sent money to a tribal leader in Somalia who turned out to have terrorist sympathies
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Elephants in India take revenge on a village after a member of their herd is killed by a train. Syfy has already bought the rights to this story
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"Positive opinions are more influential than negative ones, at least on the Internet," says someone who clearly has never been on the internet
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Newly discovered WWI pictures show what it was like on the OTHER side. Don't talk about the war
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Americans pull out of Lahore due to unsafe sects
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Detailed instructions on how to kiss a girl from 1911
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Just because Golden Corral's slogan is "Help Yourself to Happiness" doesn't mean you can sexually assault a coworker in a back room
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At age 67, Bikram Yoga founder Bikram Choudhury turns out to be the uber-Broseph. Dude
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| Thu August 08, 2013 |
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"Om ... om ... om ... OM ...MY ... GOD"
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Nurse learns that if you don't deflate the catheter before removing it, you can split open a patient's penis. Patient learns to scream at a high decibel level
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Scientists claim the phrase "shark attack" is an inaccurate form of description for shark attacks
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Cute British teens in Zanzibar injured in baseless attack
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Maybe it's time we stop referring to tasers as 'non'-lethal
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"The time has come to abolish kids menus and get rid of kid-friendly food like chicken nuggets." YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR, SIR. YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR
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Photoshop this flying wheelchair rider
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Some stunning reminders that Hollywood disasters still pale in comparison to the real thing
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The 20 Best Food Destinations in America. List to the left, snark and better recommendations to the right
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Robert'); DELETE FROM PeopleInBangladesh WHERE first_name LIKE 'Rehana' AND last_name LIKE 'Begum' AND age = 43 AND num_children = 4 AND resident_of LIKE 'London'; --
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Couple packs more sex into an hour-and-a-half flight to Vegas than most of us have in a week
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You say potato, she says message from her dead husband
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Woman gives birth to baby boy on Penn Station platform in New York City says she didn't leave because "she already bought a ticket"
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Guy who filmed police killing a guy who threatened them with scissors has all charges dropped against him after writing a polite note of apology
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Cop saves sea turtle hatchlings in hotel parking lot with help of guests and a little kid with gray zombie makeup
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Whadda ya know? Edward Snowden's email provider has gone out of business, and they're not allowed to tell you why
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| (Some Guy) |
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Moms kicked out of restaurant for their kids making too much of a mess. With photo of the "mess"
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I have no idea what you are talking about, so here's a bear on jet ski
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You're stopped for DUI and know you're guilty. Why not do a little dance and demonstrate motorboating for the nice officer? (w/ dashcam video)
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Pair of ugly-ass rare Sumatran tiger cubs born at Smithsonian Zoo
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Fark Food Thread: From pecan to rhubarb, mince to key lime, as simple as apple or farmers cheese, we love us some pie. Have your own special recipe or a twist to an old favorite? Get those baking hats and aprons out. Pics and recipes welcomed
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Let's see what's going on on Facebook. Oh look, it's Lindsay's birthday, Katie just shared a link and Derek from Florida just posted a pic of his dead wife that he just killed
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Photoshop theme: Create a feel-good zombie advertising campaign
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Beards are making a style-comeback, but not that gopher roadkill meets bad taxidermy chin mullet you've been sporting. And don't even get me started on the guys
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Holy CRAP.... there's a *train* under there??
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Today in "Why To Hate a Tween": The Wal-Mart ballpit trend
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Rep. Steve King: "Is global warming good for us?" Have we always been at war with Eastasia?
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First they banned smoking indoors, and I didn't speak out because I could smoke outdoors. Then they banned smoking outdoors, and I had nowhere left to smoke
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In case you were wondering, yes, it is safe to eat roly-poly salmon heads
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You're not a very good businessman if you can't turn a profit running a Colts-themed sports bar in Indianapolis
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Protip: There are better ways to 'air out' your mustang than driving 148 mph
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Cutting in line at McDonalds leads to a butt-stabbing
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You're Doing It Wrong: Esquire Magazine Editors are fed up with men making this critical mistake with their trousers .... So here's 'How to roll pants', for morans
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500 "new" fairy tales discovered in Germany. Disney corporation stocks rocket on news of new mother lode of Public Domain property to exploit mercilessly
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Dear Prudence, do you think my kids would be uncomfortable if we buy a house where one of the former owners hacked his wife to death and hid parts of her round the house?
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| (Some Guy) |
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The pizza wars wage on as TripAdvisor steps into the ring proclaiming the Top 10 cities for pizza. Fark: San Diego is #1. UltraFark: Chicago isn't in the Top 10. Commence battle
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Creationist home "school" textbook publisher removes the Loch Ness Monster as "evidence" that humans and dinosaurs co-existed. But dragons are still that evidence
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Did you mention Snowden or Manning or Osama or Obama in your e-mails/Facebook? Congrats, you're now on the NSA watch list
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Savvy shoplifter steals $4500 in designer handbags only to have his cunning plan thwarted when he tries to steal the running car of a convicted drunk driver equipped with an ignition interlock device
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Alberta brothers and stranger, possibly George Zimmerman, save seven-year-old boy from drowning
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When starting a fund for a memorial lighthouse, it might be a good idea to learn what lighthouses do first
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Remember that 3D printed .22 rifle that cracked after one shot? The second, improved version has lasted 14 shots
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With unemployment numbers at record highs, Greeks taking it in the ass
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Not news: a call for big TSA changes, including eliminating most pat downs and allowing everything but explosives and toxins in your carry on. News: This comes from the man who ran the TSA for five years
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How do you battle a 16000 acre wildfire in the mountains of Western Montana? With 16000 flaming ping-pong balls, of course
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Starting Over: Father of 3 including an autistic son, loses his livelihood to thieves
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Cauz mor trafik jamz
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A U.S. drone strike in Yemen killed six alleged al-Qaida militants today ... Hold on Tom, we're getting word that Kate Upton 'felt terrible about herself', after her 1st Sports Illustrated Cover
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Thanks to a new Department of Housing and Urban Development rule, if you're white, just having a black friend is not good enough anymore. Your neighborhood better be diverse or else. This will not go over well in Chicago
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Imagine how great reading Dr. Seuss would be while on X, thought one drug dealer
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That moment you realize posting pics of your bank robbery outfit on Facebook was a bad idea
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Woman bypasses millions of dollars of military security by: C) Using the cartoon trick of hiding and moving inside an upside down trash can to get into military bases
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Which Hurricane model should you trust? None of them
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Every wonder why the abbreviation for pound is "LB"? Yeah, me neither, but here's the explanation any way and it's kind of interesting
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Remember that massive Al-qaeda plot to blow up oil terminals and seize cities that Yemen claimed to have foiled yesterday? Yeah, no
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"Look, If you don't sober up and start behaving right now, I'm going to turn this goddamned plane around and go straight back to Philadelphia"
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Women told to beware of 'Sliders' at gas stations, because Jerry O'Connell will do anything for work these days
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Want an iPad but can't afford one? No problem, just commit a crime in Maryland next year
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And you thought submitting funny headlines was tough? Try it in North Korea
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Not fair, rock is supposed to beat scissors
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Great Scott. 1.21 Gigawatts
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A family is trapped in their car while bears gather. What will happen? Will the family be saved? Find out, next time. Same bear place. Same bear time
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And the diplomatic fail train sets off with China high fiving Russia over Snowden
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Holy man appeared from nowhere to pray with trapped girl and rescuers in traffic accident, told them she would be OK and then vanished; doesn't appear in any of the 70 photos taken at the scene. Neither does his pale horse
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CNN chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta apologizes on air for systematically misleading the public through unfair reporting, after intense research unexpectedly discovered that lying is not written into CNN's charter
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Off-duty Ohio cop picks an interesting time to deposit a check
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How's that 'Team American World Police' working out in Egypt?
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Redditor vividly describes getting away with statutory rape that sent 13-year-old girl to the hospital, gets turned in by readers, can't figure out why everyone wants to ruin his life
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In mother Russia, headline submits YOU (for insulting great-all-powerful leader)
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LGBT activist alleges that "sting operation" included male officers wearing Speedos and suggestive T-shirts and trying to beckon male joggers and walkers into the bushes
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Olympics watchers put Russia at top of list for gold medal expectations in 2014 Winter Games, in events such as abusing reporters, imprisoning activists and the hotly contested Human Rights Violations triathlon
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There are idiots willing to pay $100 for virtual marijuana: 15 people paid that for a weed joint sticker in Snoop Dogg's iPhone app Snoopify
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If you are from the Miami Gardens area and are missing your slaughtered and decapitated horse, local police would like to have a word with you
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Polls reveals that despite what every racist you've ever talked to claims, most Americans do not have any friends of another race
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50 years ago: Authorities return kidnapped baby to his parents. Today: Now 49-year-old man finds he was returned to the wrong parents
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Kiss my..... what a photographer saw written on a roof while riding in a hot air balloon
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Anthony Weiner's sexting partner admits to Dr. Drew that Anthony poked her
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'Escorts' advertising '2 for 1' sex clearly isn't a healthy bonding option for moms and their daughters. Mug goodness
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Australian politician forced to quit after pictures emerge of him with his penis in a Pinot
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Putin trolls Obama, sends good wishes to President Bush
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British and French nuclear missile submarine collision in the Atlantic Ocean dismissed as "bad luck"
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One in three U.S. women use withdrawal as their form of birth control. Researchers say there is a term for these women: "Mommy"
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"Effective immediately, Slate will no longer refer to Washington's NFL team as the Redskins. Well, after this time; we had to mention the name so you knew what we were talking about. Redskins, you see, is a racist archaic term"
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Shells hit Damascus as Assad prayed. I bet he could hear the ocean then
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Farmington, MN decides to hold their own "Running of the Bulls" with just one bull. That wandered into a parking lot. At the county fair. *puts on glasses* And I thought the cheese curd prices were gouging
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Need a kidney? Print a kidney
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Why your cell phone's location isn't protected by the Fourth Amendment
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LG moves its new smartphone's buttons to the BACK OF THE PHONE. Mind. Blown. (*Bwoosh*)
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If you steal a computer from a church, don't call the monitoring company asking them to remove pornography filters
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Solution: Train vicious pit bulls to be guide dogs
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Twogging. This is why we can't have nice things
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Excuse me. May I have more Parmesan, please? It seems all of mine has crawled away
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Woman's attempt to go incognito hindered by level of intoxication, suspended license and lack of trousers
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It's both World Cat Day and International Female Orgasm Day, and apparently obvious joke day as well
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Photoshop this unusual illustration
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Today's arrest of a samurai brought to you by Clearwater. Bonus: Double sword action
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And this is why you always get a second opinion
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Ocean City surf report: One foot
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Workmen digging rail tunnel underneath London discover previously unknown grave site containing thousands of bodies. Project director Professor Bernard Quatermass describes the find as "exceptionally interesting"
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Southern California wildfire explodes. I don't think wildfires can do that naturally
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Shot down by the Germans? Check. Received the DSO for escaping from the enemy? Check. Opened a string of resorts in the British Virgin Islands? Check. Oh no, I think the most interesting man in the world is dead
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Seventeen wild-eyed trouble makers in the latest Smoking Gun Mugshot madness
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Turns out the apartment complex that tried to ban guns is partly paid for by taxpayer money. They have thrown out the policy
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For a mere €100million, you can have your very own abandoned airport in Spain
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If you are too drunk to drive and your friend tries to get your keys, do you A) thank him for caring so much about you, B) let him call you a cab or C) shoot him in the chest
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Meanwhile, in Canada... you can now sue your cyber bully. But what if they're a minor you say? Too easy. You can sue their parents instead
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Major brush fire burning south of Banning, CA. Homes are on fire and thousands of acres have been consumed
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 431: "Religion & Spirituality 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed August 07, 2013 |
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Don't you just hate when you're in bed with your wife and you get arrested because your remote control was mistaken for a firearm by a paramedic?
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Do not be afraid to eat genetically modified corn
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OK, escaping from a locked coffin while handcuffed is pretty impressive, but how about while you're skydiving?
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Before you give a firm $700,000 to create an anti-smoking campaign in your state, first make sure that same firm isn't working with tobacco companies to weaken anti-smoking laws in other states
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News: Chinese officials release horrifying pictures of Western execution by lethal injection. FARK: The pictures turn out to be from fetish porn
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Photoshop this man and his cannon
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Florida couple follows HOA rules, gets approval to install low-pollution, low-water use landscaping. HOA realizes they did something right, and the lawsuits start flying
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The cost of a good education keeps getting higher and harder which is why many students are becoming student sex workers
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Shark on a train
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Cat fight delays dog park
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Lion Air plane hits cow and crashes. How the hell did it get up there?
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I hope you enjoyed the geocaching craze while it lasted, because more and more cities are trying to regulate it
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Ft. Hood shooter may avoid death penalty by defending himself incompetently. Needs genius tag
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Squeezing breasts can reverse cancer growth, according to recent studies by scientists who are totally not kidding and completely willing to show you how if you want a demonstration
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Fark: 5-year old Charlotte is the youngest patient being treated with medicinal marijuana. Ultra Fark: It keeps her from having 300 or so seizures per week. THREE HUNDRED
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Amy's Baking Company now trying to revamp its image by selling merchandise that mocks its "Kitchen Nightmares" appearance
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Man lives in a Brazilian hospital for 45 years with paralysis yet still has a better life than some of you basement dwellers
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16 year old cat works the waterfront, has tag that says, "I live at 1675 Lower Water. I know my way home. Please put me down." to prevent people from trying to rescue him
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Cool: you've been booked to play a gig at a bar with your band. Problem: you're not 21 yet and the bar will not let you in. Solution: accompany the band onstage--from the sidewalk outside
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Cancer-stricken teenage cheerleader forgives career criminal who stole her $70 donation cup from local convenience store, as he draws 15-year sentence for d-baggery
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Photoshop these stylish young men
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Tonight's U.S. Powerball lottery jackpot has hit $425 million ..... You telling us where your winnings would go to the right
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"Guys really love their penises. They want to impress you. They love their penis, they send you their penis"
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Deniers: Eh, what harm can "climate change" cause anyway? Well, how about reducing a 700+ pound polar bear to a shriveled, furry rug
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In what's sure to spark a reasonable discussion about the Constitution and the rights of landlords and tenants, a Colorado apartment complex has taken it upon themselves to ban all firearms and weapons from their property. *runs away
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You know your milk products are bad when even China won't touch them
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Looking at these pictures of some of the most bizarre mushrooms on earth will make you feel like you're on mushrooms
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"Can you hear me now" meets "Get off my lawn"
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Man saves dog from sinking ship before going back to rescue wife, will soon wish he'd just stayed on the boat
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Man robs Bank of America. Yes, I know it's usually the other way around
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'Could you stop rolling around on the ground and begging for help? I'm trying to sweep here.'
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Copenhagen justifiably smug about reputation as bicycle capital of the world, works to convince 50 percent of residents to bike to work or school by 2025. $8.50/gallon gas prices help too
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'It is the opinion of this court that this thirteen year old girl is a sexual predator'
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Bristol Zoo's newest tourist attraction, man versus seal fist fighting, not a success
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Relax, everybody. She was only PRETENDING to rip his heart out, stomp on it and then eat it in front of a large crowd
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Man convinces mouse that it's a Hawk
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Dead body found in grave
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Neighbors are yelling at you to stop speeding through their street. Do you C) come back with a gun and shoot yourself in the leg?
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Make A Wish Foundation builds treehouse with air conditioning, insulation, and Link. Their construction sure produced a lot of sawdust, though
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Family hopes for a baby girl, instead gets their 12th son. Oh well maybe 13th time's a charm
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Study shows why Costco doesn't make any money
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Are you a poor, fat, unhappy, lonely slob? It's probably because of your commute. Yeah, that's the ticket, your commute
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Our long national nightmare is finally over. Former Victoria's Secret model brings skinny jeans to the evangelical masses
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A Tennessee Chick-Fil-A apologizes for being offensive to Hooters
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When lawyers say "fair use", they don't mean fair to humans. But then you knew that when you saw the word lawyers
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City of Prescott to firefighter widow: "No lifetime benefits for your family." Widow: "My husband was a full-time employee." City of Prescott: "Perhaps there was a communication issue in your marriage"
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Cold War II: President Obama has canceled his Moscow meeting with President Putin over Fast Eddie Snowden
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Fire guts airport in Nairobi, Kenya, destroying its hall, which is exactly where conspiracy theorists believe Obama's birth certificate was stored
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Class action settlement: $2.73M for the lawyers, $270K to be split between plaintiffs and charities. Some people seem to have a problem with that
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Things your parents knew in 1980 that you have no clue about today. Walking 5 miles to school in 3 feet of snow uphill both ways or having to get up to change the channel on TV using knobs strangely absent
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Company sues because deep throat is their intellectual property (SFW)
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Man rolling around in hotel parking lot: help, help, I'm on fire. Police: Either the fire went out after it burned all your clothes off or you're high as a kite, son
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Photoshop this stuck fire engine
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It's bad enough that people disrupt the restaurant by bringing a six-month-old with them to breakfast, but it's even worse when they can't even be bothered to put on clothes before leaving the house
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It's a little known fact that in Florida if you've been married to somebody for 71 years, you can legally threaten to kill your spouse if you want to
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Farkin' meat cleavers, how do they work?
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Imagine every fast-food item you've ever loved together in one sandwich. Such a thing exists, and it's called the Big Fat Fatty
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When you're Miss Utah, driving around throwing homemade bombs at peoples' houses gets written off as 'an unfortunate event' that will 'blow over'
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Old and busted: Police go to wrong address and burglar escapes. New hotness: Police go to wrong TOWN and burglar escapes
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Why do so many people fear clowns? WE ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE. I mean, really, are clowns GOING TO COME FOR YOUR SOUL AND DRIVE YOU MAD WITH TERROR? Or are they just fun circus attractions THAT WILL FEAST UPON YOUR ENTRAILS?
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The rise of the Lady Bro
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If you're stopped for a DUI, having the cops find your kids in the trunk may increase your jail time
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Tall and tan and young and lovely, the GILF from Ipanema goes walking
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50 insane facts you did not know or do not care to know about Canada. Missing: Justin Bieber is a Canadian based extraterrestrial lesbian
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The Taco Bell waffle taco, soon to be served for breakfast, @4:20, and late night
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Charles Starkweather claims another victim
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