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Sun June 16, 2013
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
No, actually, the NSA did NOT say they've been listening to U.S. phone calls without a warrant. But why let facts get in the way of a good outrage?
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Five-year-old girl expertly trolls Westboro Baptist Church, is already being scouted by Anonymous
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Rich liberals in Malibu object to the public using the public beaches
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hiding owl
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS8 San Diego)
 
 
 
Glass bottles at the pool? That's a beating, and a stabbing ... with one of your own bottles
source: cbs8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Bite marks may no longer be allowed as evidence. Om nom nom
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Gay friendly wines to made in California. Initial release is expected to be a fruity flavor that will still fit in the average closet for purchasers in Southern states
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
If trading a $10,000 meat smoker for $75 worth of dope sounds too good to be true remember, there is always a catch, like when your dealer asks you to steal it from the police department
source: crimeblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Monsanto gene-hacked wheat that escaped in Oregon has been contained, according to USDA scientists who hope their families will be released safely
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(myfoxlubbock.com)
 
 
 
Police show up at a home to arrest an 11 year old. Mother asks to see the warrant. Police arrest mother and leave the 11 year old at home. That's some fine police work there, Lou
source: myfoxlubbock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cambridge News)
 
 
 
Cambridge headmaster wants to invite porn star into his top private school to help pupils understand the difference between online fantasy and real relationships and because he REALLY, REALLY, REALLY wants to meet a porn star
source: cambridge-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Seven people were killed and at least 30 others were shot in Chicago over Father's Day weekend, but hey you can't beat the pizza
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Looks like everything Fark knows about drugs is wrong. Well, except for weed. We pretty well have weed all figured out
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Alligators in New York prove Global Warming is real? Nah, we see 'em all the time, seventeen over the last year and a half
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Dick Cheney takes time from filming his upcoming cameo on The Walking Dead to comment, "NSA monitoring could have prevented 9/11." Yeah, I was shocked too
source: firstread.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Your galaxy sounds fat
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Doctor Who TV)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Photoshop the next incarnation of Doctor Who
source: doctorwhotv.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Is this man facing two years in jail for a.) theft, b.) assault or c.) locking up kids who were vandalizing his home in a closet until police could arrive?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Men's Journal)
 
 
 
During the 1950s the founder of Airstream, Inc., led caravans of his loyal customers' silver trailers to astonishingly remote places, rolling their way across six continents on international goodwill missions
source: mensjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Gateway Pundit)
 
 
 
Not enough big government in your life? Then good news for you because AT&T is going to install a government messaging system on your iPhone that you won't be able to turn off. Now move along, citizen
source: thegatewaypundit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The latest everyday thing that is trying to kill you? Your driveway
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
We all have heard about frivolous lawsuits that make us laugh, but here are 5 famous ones that really did not happen
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
America has become a three-fold dystopia of Matrix, Orwellian, and Huxleyan ideals, claims columnist who clearly has never been to a true dystopia, like Turkey, the Sudan, Florida, or Iran
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Addicted to junk food? It could be because of one of these three reasons. Now try to lay off the pork rinds for a while, sir
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Two suspects wanted for beating man, trying to 'flim-flam' him out of money. This headline is not a repeat from the 1920s
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Pakistan leads world in dislike of homosexuality. News: Pakistan leads world in Google searches for graphic gay porn
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to steal a bike, get caught, ditch it, and try to escape on foot with the owner chasing you, make sure you're not trying to outrun a marathoner
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Man in UK country pub spots flying saucers. Suspicions of one Guinness too many allayed by spiffy photo
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Affixed text exhaustively examines extreme examples of how gen-X is exceptionally and existentially jinxed. No exposition on exploitation, Oxycontin, taxes, sex. Subby is flummoxed
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Soshiok)
 
 
 
If you're in Singapore and you crack an egg open only to discover the white of the egg crumbles apart in a manner similar to gelatin, congratulations: You just fell for the fake egg scam
source: soshiok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
While you sleep soundly in your bed at night, The FBI field office in Albuquerque is always alert for explosives folded into a burrito
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Guess what, everybody: Silly String will be legal in Bethel, Alaska on the Fourth of July after all. Democracy really does work
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
'Hypnosis showed I was a killer,' says woman who forgot she shot and killed someone in 1976
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Bush interrupted in the middle of reading "My Pet Goat." again
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Six-year-old boy catches 100lb fish, has a future submitting headlines that get greenlit on Fark
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some spontn80)
 
 
 
For the sixth year in a row: What would you say to your Dad today?
source: dangrigor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Hell hath no fury like a minivan mom scorned: After knife-wielding robber appeared from the third-row seats and threatened to hurt her two young children if she didn't give him $200, mom goes ballistic, punches guy, and runs him over as he fled
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTRF Wheeling)
 
 
 
Fourteen-year-old arrested at school and facing a year in jail because of c) wearing an NRA t-shirt. First Amendment weeps
source: wtrf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Couple find 400-year-old native skeleton in their yard while installing a new fence, and sell it for $5,000. Wait, It cost them $5,000? What?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
'Tanning mom' put in detox for alleged public drunkenness at the Minneapolis airport made famous by Larry (Wide Stance) Craig. That's one happening airport
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Fark Squirrel 1 BMW 0
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Is it possible to drown on solid land? Yes
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour, it's a sun-soaked Alaska evening Livingston Stapler Company Presents, around 2 hours of music hosted live by a farker. LGT stream or go to krnn.org
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The United States puts more children and teenagers in juvenile detention than any other developed nations in the world, with about 130,000 detained in 2010. And as it turns out, this is very likely a bad idea
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fairbanks Daily Newsminer)
 
 
 
Getting DUIs on your motorized shopping cart is no way to go through life, Grandpa
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
India to send the last commercial telegram message on the planet on July 14. What should the last message say? (Voting Enabled)
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat June 15, 2013
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Black Forest wildfire in Colorado is down to 6,070 hectares. That's 238 cubic liters per hogshead, if you're not into the metric system
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
When escaping from prison, it's best not to argue with your getaway driver/girlfriend. She might just dump you off on the side of the road and tell the cops where to find you
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
For rent: 500 square-foot studio on the top floor of a four-story walk-up on the Upper West Side. Large penis in listing picture not included
source: ny.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
NSA admits listening to U.S. phone calls without warrants
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop some changes we might see in New England next year when Tim Tebow is with the Patriots
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Things that people send in the mail: Live hamster, 'pristine' sex toy collection and a 500-strong army of Barbie dolls ... and then it gets weird (not safe for work pic but hey it's the weekend pic)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Don't know if weird or stupid- That Michael Jackson's ghost makes a statement while being channelled through Lionel Ritchies ex-wife, or that a judge in California has accepted this as legal evidence. Why yes, money IS involved
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Rescue crews resume looking hard for smoking hot naked 19-year-old brunette (w/pic)
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Skateboard baby buggy invention. Is it stupid, cool or both? You make the call
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Bad: Having sex with your friend's mom. Worse: Impregnating her. Fark: Doing it at age 11
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Duke sucks. This guy, who got a graduate degree from Duke while living in a $1500 van and showered at the gym to avoid student loan debt, does not
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IGN)
 
 
 
A recent poll of over 280,000 gamers shows that 81% of respondents favored the PS4 over the Xbone. Micro$oft VP Phil Spencer countered with, "This isn't a sprint" while strains of Vader's Theme played in the background
source: ign.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Photoshop an ad that some might consider politically incorrect. LGT inspiration
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Teacher of the year thinks having sex with high school students is disgusting, prefers middle schoolers instead
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Milwaukee tavern to hang their bras up in the ceiling again, hooray for boobies
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Boy Scout Council: You are NOT going to wear your uniforms in the Gay Pride Parade. Scouts: asphinctersayswhat?
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man loses job after telling his Muslim recruiter he'd treat her to a bacon sandwich. Bonus: She's a bombshell
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"So you as an inmate think you are going to win $1.3 BILLION in a lawsuit? Stop wasting my time"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
See here, we can give the patient extra sedatives and bill Medicare, and when he is too sedated to breathe we can do a tracheotomy and bill Medicare, and ... darn, lost another one
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Remember the heartwarming story of the CT barber who gives free haircuts to the homeless? Well, CT health officials decided that good deed had gone unpunished for far too long
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Doctors try to determine if the the best way to get over a stroke is to play with your Wii
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
NewsFlash
 
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, no longer weighed down by the pressures of office, now free to pursue his lifelong dream of reaching five foot three
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Missouri appeals court strikes down St. Louis red light camera ordinance because it doesn't offer vehicle owners the option to plead not guilty
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Study: Reading novels makes us better thinkers. New research says reading literary fiction helps people embrace ambiguous ideas and avoid snap judgments
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
"Hey, hold my beer while I tip over this here lifeguard stand"
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
Teen tells ex-girlfriend to cut apology into her arm, then tries to make her eat sticks. Ah, young love
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Happy Trails: Wired's list of 10 essential tools you need for hiking comes to $1191 dollars, including the $170 sunglasses, the $130 wood burning stove, the $100 camp chair, and the $111 latte maker
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Global warming may 'appear' to have 'slowed' for only 15 years, but EVERYONE STILL NEEDS TO PANIC, and we really really mean it this time, for reals. Hello? Anyone?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Truck crashes into Wendy's, three sent to hospital. But let's be honest, they were one junior cheeseburger and a chili fries away from being flat-lined there anyway
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
So, whose turn is it to reset the mass shooting clock again? Man shoots his girlfriend and three daughters in Nashville. State-wide manhunt currently under way
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"I may not know art, but I know what I like ... to blow up"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Royal Kate readies to grunt out another Royal, Buckingham Palace say's she's oiled up like Carleton Fisk's catching glove. Just in case you were wondering and stuff
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Brazilian baby
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Daily News)
 
 
 
Chucking police say drunk driver "blew through" roadside check before crashing his car. Get it? 'Blew through." No? This, along with your anger issues, is why you never got to be a cop
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Graffiti store owner complains about graffiti. Tag has been waiting its entire life for this
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Why cats love boxes - here comes the science, just in time for Caturday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British couple who moved to Australia have already returned to the UK because. A) Higher cost of living. B) Weird food. C) They couldn't buy their precious snowflake her favorite fruit drink. D) All of the above
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
10,000 bottles of Chicken Cock stolen, said to be valued in the big buck-buck-BUCKS
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
Jesus spotted near security checkpoint at Phoenix airport
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Grab your best dumpster-diving gear: The newest rage in food trends is eating trash fish at restaurants
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
As the summer party season engulfs us, here is a warning to those young folks who have a few too many drinks and pass out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man sexually assaulted by his masseuse. Before you get too excited, you need to see his mugshot
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri June 14, 2013
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Four hospitalized by.....ewwww, that's gross
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Attention, Generals. Don't like sexual harassment? Want to send a message? This is how it's done
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Senate staffers told to pretend the PRISM docs, FISA court order, NSA order, presidential brochure and "dozens" of other classified documents aren't freely available to anyone who can correctly spell Googel
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Famed LA newschopper pilot reveals he's letting go of the stick
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Power company's letter tells customers to call phone sex hotline
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Blogger.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this enormous eye
source: 3.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Little People of America strenuously objects to t-shirts that say things like "Midget Hooker" and "I've had it up to here with midgets". CafePress agrees to remove items, at least until they can get some good lower body armor
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Man accused of trying to kidnap a teen says he "got into the wrong car on accident." Oh ok
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CIA to supply small arms to Syrian rebels. Because this worked so well in Afghanistan. And Beirut. And Nicaragua. And El Salvador. And
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Minnesota Nazis. I hate Minnesota Nazis
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Q-What's the worst soda flavor ever? A-Well, I... WRONG. I found it here
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAM)
 
 
 
Should the U.S. government be forced to buy American-made American flags? Ab-so-damn-lutely
source: wtam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
You have an argument with your cab driver. Do you: C) stab him in the eye with an umbrella
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Harboring a fugitive wanted for armed robbery is a crime... Your Honor
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Clear your desks, it's time for the Weird News Quiz. Smoke 'em if you got 'em
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Is there anything the Japanese can't do more efficiently (like aging at the fastest rate of any country on the planet)
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this athletic applicant
source: latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
What's that smell? Oh, it's my skin cancer
source: philadelphia.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"There is no suggestion that Winnie the Pooh or Tigger had been plotting to stir up social unrest in China"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
We didn't start the fire. Flagstaff girls burning ants started it
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Detroit to lower property taxes, which will cause people to flock to live in the city
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
On the bright side, I bet his bedbug problem is solved
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Luggage with built-in GPS locator offers challenge to airlines who constantly lose your luggage. Delta smiles thinly and cracks their knuckles
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDAY Fargo)
 
 
 
Newspaper sports editor by day, human trafficker by night
source: wday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Next time you go fishing, think twice before reaching into your bait trap for a nice plump minnow, it'll bite your face off
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitter)
 
 
 
Bravest man in Teheran wears American flag t-shirt while in line to vote
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Libertarianism is just an ideal
source: nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Pakistani terrorists who tried to poison Boston's water supply are not headed to Gitmo, or even the Hampshire County jail
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
Former RCMP officer believed an invisible man was having sex with his wife so he placed his autistic neighbour in the closet as a spy
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Florida has long eclipsed California as the place where the bizarre, unusual and outlandish have become commonplace"
source: articles.orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"Following a letter from lawyers from the Church, we apologize to any alien life forms for linking them to Scientologists"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Woman pulls her son out of school after he's bullied for being Canadian... or she realized he would have to miss the Stanley Cup finals because the series isn't a national holiday here in the States
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Say what you will about Fark's favorite paint-huffer; at least he never drove a car while high and killed three people
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Crack team of Toronto police attempt to crack case by staging massive raid at crack of dawn linked to Mayor's video. Crack
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
"And over here, we have the swamps of Jersey. And over there, those little orange people, we call them guidos... and next up on our scenic tour of New Jersey... Oh, you people wanted to go to work?"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
If you're going to keep mocking Arizona on the internet, you should probably know that 30% of the residents there will never hear you
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Crews close 23-mile-long Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel during storm - and leave trucker stranded in the middle of it. 'I've never been so scared in my life' (video)
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Thinker)
 
 
 
Hispanics won't assimilate into the American culture, just like the Indians, Asians, Italians, Eastern Europeans, Irish, Germans, and all other huddled masses before them
source: americanthinker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
British MP calls for age-restrictions on YouTube after watching Pink video. Subby agrees, 57-year-old politicians should not be watching Pink videos on YouTube
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadline)
 
 
 
The day after Spielberg and Lucas announce the future of cinema will mean $50 tickets, Paramount says the future is now with $50 mega tickets for WWZ
source: deadline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Prostitute arrested after making police officer sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer with her. In subby's experience, that normally costs at least an extra 50 bucks
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
When you last saw Governor Rick Perry, he was running for President. These days he's using his political clout to make sure nobody gets sued for saying 'Merry Christmas' in a Texas school
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mainichi (Japan))
 
 
 
Senior government aid official in charge of supporting Fukushima disaster victims melts down on Twitter, calls NGO members "left-wing shiats" and lawmakers "looking like Doraemon," nukes career in a flash
source: mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
"Clearwater Police responded to the scene of a three-vehicle wreck, where one driver reportedly punched a fire inspector and then burned a hole in the pavement trying to get away"
source: on.wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Wow, $25 a year back from the power company if I sign up to have my AC shut off during the hottest part of the day in the desert southwest? Where do I sign?
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Austrian Hotel looks to hire Jester. No word on whether the position will be to sing for the king and queen in a coat borrowed from James Dean with a voice that comes from you and me
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Have an excessive weed problem? Deploy some goats. And when you have an excessive goat problem, deploy goat-eating snakes. Then, deploy snake-eating gorillas. Then, when wintertime rolls around, the gorillas will simply freeze to death
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
No matter how much you fancy yourself as an urban artist, you're really just a dick if you spray paint a turtle
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JoonBug)
 
 
 
It's National Bourbon Day. So grab a glass of Kentucky's finest and sit back and relax
source: joonbug.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
It turns out Japan is now getting around its constitutional ban on a navy by calling their new ship part of a "self-defense force with serving members." What could possibly go wrong?
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bubblews)
 
 
 
You thought basement trolls were annoying? Check out these pros at 'News' 9 in Cincinnati
source: bubblews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Geopolitics)
 
 
 
Iranians begin voting on the next madman to lead their country into suicide
source: glblgeopolitics.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Dog's butt looks like Jesus, and at times like Jesus smoking a cigar
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
You can kiss a pig for charity and that's completely normal. But kiss a pig for pleasure, and they call you a freak
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this performing pair
source: latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Eat all the Grape Nuts that you want, but if you really want to decrease your chances of catching Type 2 diabetes go for a walk after your dinner of Pringles and Mountain Dew
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
There's a 2003 comic book storyline with Pink Kryptonite that turns Superman gay
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
"Peace Walls" in Northern Ireland are to be taken down over the next ten years. In other news, Peace Walls are still up in Northern Ireland to keep the Protestants and Catholics from killing each other
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
"Hello, DirecTV? My house was destroyed in a fire so I need to cancel my account." "No problem, sir. That will be $400 for the dish that was on your house"
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
You look awfully foolish if you accuse a man of not being a cop when he's in full cop uniform
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Beer bellies are a myth, tubby
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Menopause? Yep it's a man's fault
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Paste Magazine)
 
 
 
The ten greatest "beer cocktails" ever created. Apparently a black & tan is a cocktail
source: pastemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Trentonian)
 
 
 
Trenton cop when asked for badge number: "That's my (expletive) badge number right there" after allegedly punching Walmart employee walking home. (Listen to audio)
source: trentonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
"We strongly suggest for people not to take the matter into their own hands," said police, after man caught masturbating in McDonald's parking lot
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Nevada, home of legal brothels, gambling, no income tax, no auto emissions tests, 24 hour bars, and loose gun laws, finally adds something fun: Medical marijuana
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Want to take a cruise to nowhere? Want to get shipwrecked with loads of booze on a cliff and not get sea sick? Look no further than the world's first cruise ship-themed hotel
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Elderly man grows marijuana for his sick wife, gets busted for drug trafficking. His justification: "I have a moral obligation to make my wife as comfortable as possible"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"I'm the guy that pays you a visit if you don't pay," explains drug cartel enforcer confessing to more than 30 murders
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Virginia Record)
 
 
 
If you get drunk, stick fireworks up your butt and fall off your dormitory balcony, don't sue the college. It's really not their fault you're so stupid
source: wvrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Another butt doctor goes bad after planting something vile in a woman's butt. I know, sounds kinky.. butt it's not
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu June 13, 2013
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
If you want to give your students a writing assignment, almost anything would be better than having them write a suicide note, including how and why you're killing yourself
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Holy Batboat Batman, this £15million superyacht is a must have for the super-rich who are into hi-tech sleek things
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Old and busted: The American Dream. Net Hotness: The Canadian Dream
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop these lucrative lotuses
source: latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
That's no street light, that's a flipping Tardis travelling in the sky
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New Rare Earth mines to open in U.S., and I Just Want to Celebrate
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Obama decides to play "Wag the Dog"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
How I dug out of $80,000 in debt. Step #1: Start by saving even just $5 a month somehow
source: money.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
Some Beantown resident just spent a bargain $560,000 for a three-story townho.... on wait, scratch that, they spent over half a million on TWO FARKING PARKING SPOTS
source: boston.curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Well, it's not like there's a reptile recycling bin, ya know
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Cooking for yourself or your friends and family where allergies are a concern? Are peanuts, wheat glutens, or other modern horrors part of your routine to avoid? Show us the recipes and help farkers avoid adverse reactions:
source: tescohealthandwellbeing.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Porsha charged for stealing Callista from the Humane Society. No, this is not Ally McBeal furry fan-fiction
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Who's turn is it to reset "Days since last mass shooting" board? You're up
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Reasons to stab your brother: 1) He slept with your girlfriend. 2) He slept with your wife. 3) He knocked over your beer while he helped you search for the missing mac and cheese
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Christian driver alleges Indian "rain god" on Oklahoma license plates violates separation of church and state
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this boy wonder
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Psychic gets hit with $7 million lawsuit. She probably saw it coming
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Convicted felon writes letter thanking the NRA for making it easy for him to obtain guns through their opposition to universal background checks. Stay tuned for the hilarity, for it shall surely ensue
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Things)
 
 
 
Atheist who claimed that religion causes sexual misconduct forced to resign due to sexual misconduct
source: firstthings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Marlboro man gets a light
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Heart attack behind the wheel causing a minor car accident? That's a ticketin', times three
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Xbox One's big advantage? "It's digital" says Microsoft's Chief Marketing Officer, Mr. Constipated Sherlock. Definitely an advantage over the all analog PS4
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Alberta spill in toxic waste
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today's FARK-ready headline: Pa. man finds reptile near sewer, offers gator aid
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Six-hour standoff ends when police realize the guy they're looking for isn't actually home
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
The T-Rex is extinct. This is not a repeat from 65 million years ago
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ladies, Rupert Murdoch is back on the market
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
BRAINS . . . BRAINS . . . Helloo, ladies
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"No, honestly, I simply lost control of my remote hovering camera drone and accidentally let it record you through your windows"
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Buzz Aldrin breaks down and admits that conspiracy theorists were right all along
source: science.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(East Grinstead Courier)
 
 
 
UFOs spotted near Church of Scientology HQ
source: eastgrinsteadcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
You don't know where your ex-girlfriend lives, so you set fire to the wrong house. Twice. Not to worry, she knows where you'll be for the next five years. Irony tag bows to Dumbass
source: plainfield.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
It was only a matter of time before defense lawyers started demanding the NSA hand over phone records they believe would exonerate their clients. Consider the floodgates opened
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
"Gee Officer, I am not sure how my truck came to be parked on top of the toll booth, I swear"
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Hello, 999? I want to report an ugly hooker for false advertising
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Latest viral video doesn't involve a pet, a Diet Coke bottle, or some reality show doofus, but a Japanese U.N. diplomat uncomfortable in English who shouts at his colleagues to shut up, shut up
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
4th of July BBQs in London expected to be 100% improvement with the introduction of Shmeat
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Dude, I think the logo for that scary secret NSA computer-spying program was stolen from Pink Floyd
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
For the first time ever, white people are dying faster than they're being born. Aw, we'll miss you guys
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
You've got a body part you've never heard of-and neither had anyone else, until now
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
And let's watch as the East Coast weatherman dial back their thunderstorm of death predictions from "OMG IT'S COMING TONIGHT" to "OMG it's, uh, coming this morning" to "yeah, um, it might rain a little this afternoon, seriously"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Census Bureau reports rural US loses population for first time ever on news that you got the hell out of that jerkwater town as soon as you could
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Inspector of doomed Philadelphia building commits suicide
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
NSA chief hints at ISP and email wiretapping. If you haven't curled up into a ball and renounced your religion because there is no god yet, now may be a good time
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
"Treason is a tough sell in Snowden case" How about sedition? Minor sedition? Jaywalking?
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Now that it no longer works, the International Space Station's first treadmill is going to be: A) enshrined in the Smithsonian B) put on display in Moscow's Red Square C) jettisoned into space
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these New Orleans street musicians
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
NSA snooping was only the beginning. Meet the spy chief leading us Into cyber-war. General Keith Alexander has been building a secret army capable of launching devastating cyberattacks. Now it's ready to unleash hell
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when you wake up in the morning and discover that the federal government has you listed with more than $300 million in individual debt
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Buzz Aldrin slams Tang like it's a moon landing truther
source: science.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
Biker: I was chased by a wolf while on my motorbike. Us: Pics or it didn't happen. BIker: Fine, here it is
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shepton Mallet Journal)
 
 
 
Just when you think he couldn't be any more evil. Darth Vader slammed for 'disrespecting Armed Forces'. What a villain
source: sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Resource Investor)
 
 
 
France has recently passed a law to prohibit the sending of currency, coins and precious metals by mail which means it is only a matter of time before Homeland Security decides to implement a similar restriction
source: resourceinvestor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Cool: Live rent-free at an address in Brighton's Queens Park area. FARK: Tenant must wear a homemade walrus costume for two hours each day
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Kentucky candy store owner arrested for having marijuana and prescription pills in his candy store. Police say the candy man was so high, he was even trying to eat his dishes
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
A six-year-old's suicide stresses need to monitored for warning signs, like withdrawing from family and friends, slouching, looking sad, kicking things, and bashing toys together. In other news, subby thinks he may be a suicidal six-year-old
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In about one-third of couples' infertility cases, the problem comes from the man. INCONCEIVABLE
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
The top 10 countries who request data from tech companies. USA USA USA
source: reuters.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Before you pop that next anti-depressant, you should probably know that it makes male minnows ignore female minnows and hide under tiles
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good to see Britain is breeding its population to keep up with Americans. Want some fish and chips with that?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Today's code word for NYC Mayor "I want to control everyone's life" is: styrofoam... say it, styrofoam. Honestly don't you minions drink from crystal?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Bad: Your husband beats you. Worse: Because of this, the Catholic school you teach at fires you. Fark: They also kick all four of your kids out. Stay classy, San Diego
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Serious Eats)
 
 
 
Seven myths about steak. This has nothing to do with your dog
source: seriouseats.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Weed [✓] Mushrooms [✓] Alligator [✓]
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"I could perceive the dead bodies of my crew were nearby. I could smell them. The fish came in and began eating the bodies. I could hear the sound. It was horror"
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Woman sues restaurant for "physical and emotional trauma" after she walked straight into a glass panel next to the glass door
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Girl recovering after controversial lung surgery. Parents breathe a sigh of relief
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 423: "Square^2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed June 12, 2013
(CNN)
 
 
 
This is why you must have your permission slips filled out before you can go on a field trip
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Perth Now)
 
 
 
Scientists determine living on mountains alters language, genes, IQ, sexual preference
source: perthnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
After every wedding, there is a good friend or two who will disappear from your life forever--and that's really okay
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Montanans: you'll take away our single area code when you pry it from our cold, dead hands
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
"Dear diary, our school had been bombed when we arrived this morning. Waltraud, Melitta and I went back to Gisela's and danced to gramophone records"
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
"Both women in the car admitted to instructing the 10-year-old to drive the vehicle due to their level of intoxication"
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Iron Man
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
People who use the American flag for pants, shirts, camping chairs and bandannas are very offended that that HGTV suggested using an American flag for a tablecloth
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CF News 13)
 
 
 
Good news, Florida: There are no vampire mosquitoes. You can put away your tiny stakes and crosses
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
New app would allow you to snitch on illegal parkers, and get rewarded with a cut of the fine. It will also become commonplace to beat people to a pulp if they're caught using said app
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Riverton Radio)
 
 
 
Hello, 911? Yes, I'd like to report a poltergeist. What? No, we're not sure exactly, but we think it might be related to the recent exorcism
source: rivertonradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Before you drop off some abandoned kittens at the local humane society, first make sure they're not abandoned bobcat kittens
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Pat Robertson: Disaster prophets are "nutty." Irony tag implodes
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spelunker
source: photography.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Chinese Roswell? Not so fast. "Mr Li was forced to admit that he had indeed sought to use his model, held together with chicken wire and glue, to mislead his fellow Chinese about the existence of celestial creatures"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Go medieval on breast enhancement (Not safe for work)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMBF Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for what the little man did in the boat
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Embrace your inner sociopath for a better life for all. Well, no. But for you, sure
source: blogs.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(5 News Fayetteville)
 
 
 
Kinda news: A suspected gunman is in custody after a standoff with police at a Walmart. Fark: Investigators said they recovered a gun, three chickens, two ducks and three parakeets from his van
source: 5newsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"My boyfriend started licking my eyeballs years ago and I just loved it. I'm not with him anymore, but I still like to ask guys to lick my eyeballs"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Angry-face LEGO figurines are destroying our children. WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
A handy list of six countries you can flee to where you have a shot of avoiding extradition back to the US, just in case, you know, you might, some day need to know that, for some reason
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Man explains that he didn't mean to damage his neighbor's lawns, he was just trying to chase a gopher with his lawn mower. "The officer told the man to stay inside his own home until he sobered up"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Animal Clinic of Regina saves rare six headed squirrel
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle of Higher Education)
 
 
 
Why privacy matters even when you have nothing to hide. This is also why we have curtains and bathroom doors that lock
source: chronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
University of Kansas orders coed cleavage Twitter account to cease and detits
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Man converts Omani warship into private gunboat, busts out of Spanish military custody and sails to Senegal with crew of ex-Armed Forces. I love it when a plan comes together
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Reports coming in of 'massacre' in eastern Syria. Also, western Syria, North Syria, that part in the south, the center, some places in underground caves and probably flying around up in the air, too
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman calls humane officer about feral kittens in her yard, officer tells her the cats will have to be euthanized. WTF: Not so humane officer shows up euthanizes the kittens, with his gun, in her yard, while kids are watching
source: on.wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Let's see...I'll have the California Roll with extra soy sauce in my lap, please (w/ video)
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
New sushi restaurant that has a "No Kids" policy is going out of business. No, wait, what I meant to say is, "after being open a week business is great and they have a packed house every night of the week
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Line cutter lotto winner is a bad tipper. Followup trumps Obvious tag
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Get your tinfoil hats ready: 'experts' call shenanigans over Snowden's claim that he could wiretap anyone
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
'Skeeter-geddon': In town for Zimmerman, national media surprised to find mosquitoes living in Florida
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News Daily)
 
 
 
Vienna children's home 'saw decades of abuse, rapes' in which minors were victimized by staff and outsiders. On the bright side, they're now all qualified for positions in the US State Department
source: newsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Urinal Gum)
 
 
 
Top 10 annoying things people post on Facebook: "I don't always dis on internet memes, but when I do, I hide behind a top ten list"
source: urinalgum.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Look, up in the sky . . . it's a bird, it's a plane, it's a . . . wait, what the hell is that?
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Listen up you non-believers: Unicorns do in fact exist
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Ariel Castro doesn't know who kidnapped three Ohio women and held them hostage in his basement for years, but it definitely wasn't him
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Facebook and Twitter are magnets for narcissists. Glad Fark isn't like that. Signed, GooberMcFly
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Man goes all WWE sleeper-hold on his friend and thinks he was just sleeping after he lost consciousness. Then he waits a day to call 911. Yes, alcohol was involved
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
"We apologize for the hamburger-like substance at hole 14"
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Hot chick robs a convenience store, loses a flip flop, wrestles with a big ass clerk, and and gets away with the cash. Bonus: Buttcrack
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Colorado fire is "zero percent contained". That's some fine firefighting, Lou. Mighty fine firefighting
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lehighton Times News)
 
 
 
Woman formerly arrested for being half naked in convenience store because she was "anticipating sex" can relax about the charges
source: tnonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Cumming man killed in motorcycle crash. Investigators suspect he may have been distracted
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
High school teacher accused of cursing at the stupid little bastards in his classroom
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Here are naked pictures of hot babes. Well, that's at least what I thought was the most truthful or least most untruthful manner in which to describe this link
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Republic)
 
 
 
Maine Supreme Court to decide where transgenders may pee. Look, they went to law school for this. Read many leather bound books. This is serious. It's their job
source: newrepublic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Baptised by Little Richard, smoked pot with Rod Stewart, lived in the Amazon, taught Hell's Angels in Miami...the amazing life of eco-warrior Clive Kelly
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man with the worst luck on Earth loses his legs, again
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
A law that requires all children be assigned a social worker regardless of whether the parents want one or not? That'll go over well
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"I'm not ashamed I got married at Disney World," says woman who should be
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"This is your captain speaking. Welcome to our upgraded Boeing 787 Dreamliner, with new batteries that put out the fire automatically. We'll be ready for take... wait, can someone give us a jump start?"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Do you remember the debacle that happened the last time Carnival Triumph set out on a cruise? Apparently you're the only one who does because she's back at port and already her first two voyages are sold out
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Can't hold your liquor? Here's a test. If after drinking beer, a tad of vodka and Early Times "Fire Eater-Hot Cinnamon" whiskey you can't drive while holding your pants up, you probably have had too much to drink
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
State Department inspector general alleges that diplomats abroad really like grab-ass, drugs and whores
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Design a 22nd Century warning sign
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"How extraditing Snowden from Hong Kong would work" Black helicopters, flashbangs and Seal Team Six?
source: tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
RFK Jr. calls Slate to clarify his anti-vaccination views, Clarification: He's even more crazy than we thought
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oxford Student)
 
 
 
Random pools of blood start growing around Oxford
source: oxfordstudent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Who believes Obama will drone Snowden? RON PAUL
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
I am Derecho, which is Spanish for "The Echo"
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Guy intervenes when cretins pull the "fire in the hole" at McDonald's drive-thru, gets Quarter-Pounded
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Lou Ferrigno, welcome to Fox & Friends. So, can you tell us your feelings about NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden?" "Gretchen, on the one hand, I think leaking information is wrong. On the other hand, HULK SMASH PUNY HUMANS"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
This week: Australian woman to attempt Cuba to FL swim without a shark cage. Next week: Australian woman remembered as good chum
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Islam's version of "family friendly": An all-male soap opera will debut in Egypt during Ramadan as an alternative to the dirty shows that anger God by showing women and men together
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Mother Jones interviews a climate troll and has him debate a troll slayer. The first comment is a demand from a feminist that MoJo expose MRA trolls, not climate trolls, and the thread never recovers. No one ever figured out who the real troll was
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bristol Post (UK))
 
 
 
Have you ever been SO drunk that you lay down on a railway line and pretended to be dead, causing £56k disruption? No? Just this guy then
source: bristolpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
My name is Joselyn Martinez. You killed my father. Prepare to fry
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Looks like al Qaida has some of Qadhafi's portable SA-7 surface-to-air heat-seeking missiles. Enjoy your flight
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man who stopped to have a beer during smash and grab walks with a limp. Police hope he's easy to catch
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(DOD Buzz)
 
 
 
If you having tilt-rotor problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 Ospreys but the switch ain't one
source: dodbuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Pellet plant fire in Show Low, Arizona shows no sign of ending. Springfield Tire Fire not impressed
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Apparently the damage in the Joplin tornado wasn't due as much to the tornado as it was poor craftsmanship
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If your erection lasts over eight months please consult your....wait, eight MONTHS?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
World's oldest man dies again
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Attention, responsible gun owners: Gun-toting toddlers killed more Americans that terrorists did this year
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
On the subway, a performance like this is free, in a black box theater in SOHO it's a $50-a-ticket modern dance smash hit
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
OK climate change shiat just got serious. Weather changes in South America are killing off record coffee bean crops, which could reduce the planet to drinking pencil shavings filtered through a used jockstrap. Or Maxwell House. Same difference
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you live in the Chicago area and don't feel like cutting your lawn, just let it grow. Eventually the City will send someone out to mow it for you
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Originally a joke in Sports Illustrated, Wendy's 9-patty 'T-Rex Burger' now available at one location in Manitoba. Sidd Finch unavailable for comment
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Nebraska police chief fined for buying too much snack foods, with picture of Nebraska police chief who buys too much snack food
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Multiple out-of-control wildfires raging in Colorado. Again. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Is it OK to wear a nightgown to the office? I'm just asking for a friend
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue June 11, 2013
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Doctor: "Your elderly mother in need of emergency care. Take her to the hospital immediately." Son: "I will...in a few hours. First I gotta stop by the bank and cash her checks"
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC America)
 
 
 
Eleven shows that explain American culture to the Brits. Wanker
source: bbcamerica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Mother/daughter team busted smuggling $60,000 in cash across Canadian border. Customs got suspicious when they noticed both women were stacked like Dolly Parton
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
Sixth grade math teacher shows students that there are more horrifying things in the world than fractions
source: thelocal.fr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Dropping somebody at the airport? Why yes, there is a fee for that
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"In Mother Russia, wheelchair dog rolls you through the flooded street"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
You know you're screwed when your attorneys petition the judge for them to be removed
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Meet Misty, the hardest working border collie in the quarry business. Sheep are so yesterday to her since her promotion
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Man shoots guy having sex with his wife, killing him. Woman shoots the wall to scare off an abusive husband, harming nobody. Guess which one was acquitted? C) The white one
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Jesus Tapdancing Christ. New hotness: Jesus Breakdancing Christ
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: improve this block house
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
Always read contracts before you sign them, otherwise your photo could end up on a double-sided sex pillow
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Guy thinks having his hot girlfriend pose with his POS Mercedes will help him sell it quicker
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global Post)
 
 
 
What if foreign journalists covered news in America like American journalists cover foreign news?
source: globalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Had your fingers hacked off by the Yakuza? Don't worry, this Japanese prosthetics maker will give you a hand
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Apparently, two Alabama counties decided to take the NSA's domestic spy programs a couple of steps further toward their logical conclusion
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Trayvon Martin jury selection process leads to the revelation that one of the prospective jurors is Farker. Uh-oh
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
You want to take your gun with you on a trip to NYC? Fine, unload it and let the airline ship it in a special locked box. Then you can retrieve it and keep it in your hotel room no problem. Try to get it home? That's a felony and you're going to jail
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Earth, Wind and Fire concert canceled because of water, Obama's China summit turning out to be "he said Xi said", and Elmo now Cookie Monster: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 6/2 - 6/8
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
School refuses to expunge eight-year-old student's "eating a Pop-Tart with the intention of turning it into a gun" conviction
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISHTV)
 
 
 
Man in lavender vest wanted by state police AND fashion police
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Huffer settles wrongful-death lawsuit for undisclosed amount, new Warriors t-shirt
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The wedding was going well until they entered the 24-hour buffet line
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Shiat is gettin real in Istanbul - again. LGT live feed, location updates approx every 10 mins to follow the demonstrators/riot police clashes in various areas of city. Possible Not safe for work, live gun fire being exchanged at time of submission
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(France 24)
 
 
 
Pope admits existence of 'gay lobby' in Vatican, says he enjoys lobby's tasteful modernist decorating, Andy Warhol print over the fireplace, cappuccino machine
source: france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
The stupid. It burns
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Welcome to Costco. I hep you
source: vitals.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
101-year-old Iowa woman graduates from high school, quickly learns the job market is especially tough for recent grads, 101-year-olds
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Unexpected item in bagging area"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Man said he put his penis in his passed-out 29-year old neighbor to save her life. CPR DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter <