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| Sun May 12, 2013 |
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Have you ever had one of those days where you're sitting at an outdoor cafe in Milan enjoying a nice spring day and then a man starts swinging a pickaxe around cracking it into people's skulls?
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It's not uncommon to get drunk on prom night. You just really shouldn't do it if you're the party bus driver transporting 2 dozen kids
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Electronic traffic warning sign reprogrammed to encourage motorists to "Smoke weed erryday." Looks like marijuana may not affect technical skills, but it sure does affect spelling
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Bloomberg, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Jeb Bush, Oprah and other members of the Justice League are meeting this weekend to decide the fate of the world
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If you're called the Loose Cannons Motorcycle Club there's really only one way to respond when your rival gang shows up to a party
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The award for most tear-inducing Mother's Day story goes to the West Genesee girls' lacrosse game, where a double rainbow appeared over the field as a player's mother died of breast cancer
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Passing out drunk on top of your mom and pinning her to the floor for hours is no way to celebrate Mother's Day, son
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Principal's response when 2 girls bully another girl and set her hair on fire in the hallway, "these things happen"
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A Space Oddity, re-recorded in space by Chris Hadfield, as he gets ready to leave the ISS on Monday
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Photoshop this Beijing business
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List of things 9 out of 10 Americans can agree on
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Apparently, the best way to remind people about fire safety is having volunteer clowns wear bright coveralls and go door-to-door with flyers
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Find your high school principal's mugshot and post it to Instagram? That's a suspendin' (but if she had her way, it would be a jailin')
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When the Good Lord tells you to get nekkid and walk down the street, you get nekkid and walk down the street. Praise the Lord
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Arab guy cooking rice in a pressure cooker? That's a raid by the FBI counterterroism unit
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The Juice hopes the courts will set him loose
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Principal hosts anti-bullying rally, bullies nerd
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Not News: Town gets new mayor. News: Everyone really likes him. Fark: He's four years old
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At least one dozen shot at New Orleans Mothers Day parade
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Photoshop this lonely jug
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Now that pill mills are being raided and shut down, prescription drug addicts in one state are turning to heroin
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Star Wars kid speaks out ten years later. In case you were wondering, yes you should feel horrible
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Mother of Mother's Day came to hate it. Anna Jarvis conceived the day in 1908 and got Congress to make it official in 1914. By 1920, she was so disgusted with its commercialization that she tried in vain to get it rescinded
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Dude, where's my stash?
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First the economy came for teachers, and I did not speak out because, meh. Then the economy came for government workers, and I did not speak out because, meh. But when the economy came for brothels, I knew it was time to take a stand
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To the delight of every little girl (and some grown men), Barbie's Dream House has become a reality
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The smoothest 14 year old boy gets the coolest 26 year old woman ever arrested
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Officer sees teenager walking alone in dark after curfew. Does she: A) Write a ticket, B) Arrest him, or C) Tase, arrest and cite him? None of the above: she gives him a bike for his 9-mile commute and her friends teach him to ride it
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Four-year-old with cancer gets surprise limo ride. Returns home to find foundation has built sweet custom playground in his backyard. Too bad they didn't clean up the dust
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Free stuff for yer mom
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Woman sells video game console on Craigslist. Buyer comes back an hour later wanting to play real life GTA
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If the Omaha Public Schools required student-athletes to maintain a 2.0 grade-point average, hundreds of students would be ineligible to compete, begging the question: how stupid are the student athletes in Omaha?
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Harvey man shot his wife 10 times, though miraculously she survived. Maybe the giant invisible rabbit would have been a better shot
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☒ $100 for a carry on bag ☒ $1.99 for coffee? ☒ $200 change fees? ☑ Fark it, let's drive
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Efforts to push through a solid, sustainable bill on education reform are being stymied ... because of parents who insist on homeschooling their children
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Headline: "Mother's Day Is Not All About You". Subby: It most certainly is all about the mother of my children if I ever want to have sex again
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This stylish room seems awfully empty
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Want to make brunch the perfect Mother's Day brunch? The folks at the Food Network are here to help (or you could just take her to Denny's for the Grand Slam)
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Actual headline: "Tucsonan learns the hard way to keep toilet paper out of the microwave"
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If you are unable to solicit a child for sex, you: C) sexually abuse your pet peacock (w/mugshot)
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It's never a good sign when you find yourself writing poems and wanting to cuddle the escort you hired
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| (Some Guy) |
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Suddenly, prairie avalanche
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Kidnap victim Amanda Berry calls her grandfather, finds out he still has the 1986 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS he promised to give her when she got her driver's license
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A cop heard a call come in about a burning apartment, and since he was a block away he ran in and rescued seven residents while the building crumbled around him
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Siblings busted in giant Frito-Lay heist (and for licking their fingers and going back into the bag)
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Feast on cicadas: "The Shrimp of the Land". Go on foodies, do it. I dare ya
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Police called over a couple amphibians getting froggy with it
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Smoke 'em if you've got 'em. It's a very special Blossom episode of Livingston Stapler Company Presents, about three and a half hours of music hosted live by a farker. LGT stream
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Train and pedestrian become best earbuds
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| Sat May 11, 2013 |
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In 2005, a man wanted to take his life. He climbed over the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge and was ready to take a fatal jump when he heard a voice calling out to him from above. Eight years later, he met that voice
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A detailed map showing the regional American and Canadian dialects; doesn't explain why the rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain
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A new study shows that kids in a car are 12 times more distracting than a cell phone. So please do every one else a favor, and leave those things at home
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Government covering up extra-terrestrial activity? We're not saying it's aliens, but
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Remember the Carnegie Mellon student who ran in an art parade dressed as the Pope and naked from the waist down? Turns out there was a law against that
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Everyone out of the pool, that includes you Emily, and your little friend Rishi, the orangutan
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Photoshop this melodramatic doll
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Signs that spring has arrived in Maine: Flowers start blooming, Lawnmowers start purring and authorities start recovering bodies of all the snowmobilers who fell through the ice on lakes over the winter
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Dallas school board rescinds order requiring students to wear shirts tucked-in, because fat snowflakes will actually look fat, instead of looking like they are draped in a small tent, which may lead to self-esteem issues
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Four reasons you're not having sex. Strangely absent: You're a Farker
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This is what an early morning stroll in space looks like
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Mimolette, a pretentious French cheese, gets its distinctive taste from cheese mites that live inside it. The FDA thinks importing cheese with live bugs is dangerous, and for some reason people are upset they can't get French bug cheese
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White House elects new pope
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Pennsylvania has some beautiful farm land, but don't take any pictures because that's about to become a felony
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Here, hold my beer and photoshop this
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Whole Foods provides meals that taste great and are packed with nutrients. Naturally, vegans have a problem with this
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Not news: firefighters rescue 12-year-old girl who was being held against her will. Fark: up a tree, by raccoons
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As society develops, so do its invectives, and here is a handy list of some classics--and some new ones. Not safe for work language, though that should be obvious, you buggery shrew
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Official King of the Redheads invites you to Ireland's Redhead Convention
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Since 1958 there have been 472 billion LEGO bricks produced. Here's an info graphic showing what you could build with all of them
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State beer taxes: highest in Tennessee, lowest in Wyoming
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Survey reveals the greatest hairstyles of all time. Apparently those who responded didn't take a lot of time to mullet over
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Texas sheriff: Yes, we've arrested a much interviewed first responder to the West plant explosion for owning bomb components, but it's probably just a coincidence
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One in eight Americans older than 60 reports memory loss. The other seven still remember the days when they had a house, a car, a 401K account
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"Hey, where's Tippi, anyway?" "Oh, I don't know, probably out riding an elephant or one of the ostriches or laying around with the cheetahs. You know, the usual"
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Twenty-year-old orphan places classified ad looking for a mom for Mother's Day. This should end well
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U.S. Department of Education drops the terms "mother" and "father" from its student aid forms. To be replaced by "MILF" and "Baby Daddy" most likely
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"Just like Mama used to make, eh"
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Photoshop these flautists
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Happy National Train Day
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The world's ex-fattest man is now eating up the publicity he's getting for posing in the nude, even though you can't see his meat and two veg (Warning: Copious amounts of eye bleach required before you click this link)
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Man arrested for stealing bedsheets from a Walmart says his home has bedbugs and he was only doing it for his children. He's Florida's equivalent of Jean Valjean
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Super Ted, aka the bipedal battler - a feline who lost 2 legs and half his tail in a car accident - has clawed his way back to health and is guaranteed a forever home just in time to enjoy Caturday
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Portland area Fark Party, Saturday, May 11, 7 pm. Deschutes Brewery in downtown. Yeah, it's short notice. Whaddya want, planning?
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Boston Marathon bomber to spend eternity surrounded by Virginians
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Montana woman finds out the hard way that if you're too drunk to drive a horse you're way too drunk to drive a car
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Kennel owner surprises family of partially-paralyzed cocker spaniel with doggie-wheelchair
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Stomping on the American flag in South Carolina? That's a shooti....er, it's worth $85,000?
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A dog's life: Here's the science for calculating a dog's true age
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FBI tracks down identity thieves thanks to their continued posting of "food porn" on Instagram
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Remember when you were a teenager and you could moon all the eighth-grade girls you wanted without worrying about getting arrested on criminal charges?
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The twenty-one most common lies told on a first date
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You have a spat with your neighbors. Do you: C) take a GIANT FARKING BULLDOZER and knock down their house (and another house, and power to about a thousand people)
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| Fri May 10, 2013 |
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Taco Bell: That Doritos taco shell worked...let's see what a waffle shell does to 'em
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I said, YOUNG WOMAN DRINKS A PINT OF BEER...THROUGH HER EAR (w/video)
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Nixon aide claims LBJ arranged JFK hit and asked Nixon to put Jack Ruby on his payroll
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Could this week's mugshot cohorts be any more condemned? Yes, with a little help from my friends
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To help plan your summer vacation, here are seven beer fests you shouldn't miss
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School bus driver: "What happens on the bus, stays on the bus." Apparently that doesn't apply when she drives students to her house so they can fight in her front yard
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Pennsylvania University: Fark it, everybody bring your guns
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Photoshop this mini motorbiker
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America's 10 best hot dogs. List to the left, weiner wars to the right
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Atmospheric CO2 reaches 400ppm for the first time in two million years. Probably nothing to worry about. I'd ignore it, personally
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Spokesman for South Korean president fired for groping an intern in DC. Apparently, he didn't realize in DC that's the president's job
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Weren't we supposed to have flying cars by now? Jalopnik: Did you check the tree?
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| (MSN) |
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Photoshop this tremendous trike
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The Fark Quiz is back again to remind you that you only come here to read the headline and make sarcastic comments
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Dita Von Teese is selling her 1939 Packard. Listing complete with pics of Dita with the Packard. WANT
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Even Islamic terrorists in Dagestan thought Tsarnaev was an unhinged looney who might go too far
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Police throw the book at wife beater who pulls gun on three deputies. Looks like it hit him in the eye
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Area white man announces he likes kimchi. "Opinions about kimchi fall along the same lines as opinions about Neil Young's music"
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"The 10 Most Redneck Cities in America." Jeff Foxworthy unavailable for comment
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Semitrailer rolls, scattering 75,000 lbs of crab across the road. Police seen scurrying to the scene with tubs of butter and garlic
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Bad: Politician gets caught getting blown by a man in a public park. Badder: Judge orders man to write an explicit letter detailing the acts he is guilty of and ask for forgiveness from his family AND THE PUBLIC
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Cemetery: No, You Can't Put the F-Word on a Grave
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NYC public school kitchen managers get a disciplinary letter in their permanent record for ordering butter
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"Halal" school cafeteria burger found to be 50% pork, surprising many that it contained any actual meat at all
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Roy from the IT Crowd, in a production by Christopher Guest? You're welcome (sponsored link)
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Slate: Making kids play team sports in PE is neither healthy nor educational, uses as an example: dodgeball, probably the most sociopathic "team sport" of them all
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Dear Starshine, My mother-in-law is dumb as a bag of hammers. Will my toddler catch The Stupid from her if I let the child hang around with her?
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Ariel Castro had a previous history of domestic violence and witness intimidation. It just never turned up in the criminal background checks of school bus drivers
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As God is my witness, Turkey will support no-fly zone
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May as well make it like Mad Libs. ____ (number)-year-old _____(verb) _____(number)-year-old in the _____(noun)
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Pro wrestler weighs in on complex social issue. It goes about as well as you'd expect
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37 Things that you'll only find funny if you're British ... apparently you foreigners wouldn't find a place called Wetwang funny, philistines. (Warning: Quite Sweary)
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Doctor tells man he's dying. Man quits job, sells car, celebrates last birthday, contemplates suicide and makes funeral arrangements. Does this story end with: a) a natural death, b) suicide, or c) someone paying someone else a lot of money?
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Caption this meeting between Texas Governor Perry and President Obama
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It's been an inspiring morning for the guys working at One World Trade Center in NYC. 1,776 feet of inspiration in fact
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This is your brain. This is your brain on heroin. Ha-ha, no it's not, thanks to this vaccine
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It turns out you can drive a lot farther than you think on a flat tire
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Nine West Virginia students may miss prom over lack of vaccination, may be forced to dance with their sisters at home instead
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Ha ha, you're Facebook friends with your mom
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Man goes for a barefoot stroll in the dunes. Unfortunately, the dunes were in the high desert of White Sands National Monument, and 14 miles later he was lost without water or shoes. Fortunately, his cell phone saved his dumb, barefoot ass
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How to Steal 45 Million. Somehow a lot less charming without Hepburn and O'Toole
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Movie theater sends guy in full body armor and a fake M4 into Iron Man 3 opening as a "publicity stunt"
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"That's when Melvin sprayed Silly String at the employee, apparently causing him to be in fear for his safety and for the safety of the students"
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Sad: 17 days later, workers continue to remove the bodies of those trapped in the rubble of a collapsed garment factory. Holy Fark: One of them is still alive
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Not news: Arizona bar brawl involves biker gang. Fark?: A biker gang made up of cops
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Oregon smokejumpers jump in to the BEST SMOKE EVER
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Could you have refused to let police enter your home during the Boston lockdown?
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7-11stores in Japan have people of all ages draw pictures of their mom and display them for Mothers Day. It's as weird and creepy as you might think
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Nothing to see here, just 40 pictures of delectable food photography. Are you hungry yet? (some possibly Not safe for work images on sidebar & bottom of page)
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Fake psychic upset that other fake psychic's fake psychic prediction makes fake psychics like him look fake
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How to spot a bad online college. Difficulty: Being online isn't on the list
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Rejuvenate your skin with the all-new sheep placenta facial. Or try bull semen conditioner - because you're worth it
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So you left a corpse in the back of the morgue van when you put it in the garage to fix the tail light? It's not like you'll be sacked or anything
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Frenchman detained for feisty heist on weird foreign neighbor charged with theft of diamonds, violation of "i before e" rule
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Woman told soldier in Afghanistan she was pregnant with his twins in bid to get his cash - went on to claim she had cancer, had her cervix sewn up, was inheriting a fortune and was dead
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The future of television is basically "Ow, My Balls"
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Abercrombie under fire for their "not you, fattie" stance. Hipster skinny jeans surrender
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| (Some St Christopher) |
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Photoshop this gator guide
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Not news: Party in Safeway parking lot. News: Police are called to break it up. Fark: Partiers are eagles
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News: Woman accidentally backs over her daughter, pinning her under the car. FARK: A boys high school basketball team hears the commotion and lift the car up to pull the girl out. Bonus: They saved the girl's life
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Radioactive products from the last century: toothpaste, chocolate, suppositories. What were we thinking?
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School dedicates a portion of its website to a student who just died. Fark: And that's how the parents found out their kid was dead
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| Thu May 09, 2013 |
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A man probably had a brief moment of joy when he gave the slip to the sheriff's deputy chasing him. Then the alligator showed up
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Giant 50-foot magnet makes cross-country trek, as well as quite an attraction
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Florida restaurant pulls controversial lion tacos off the menu after huge uproar
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| (Some Commie) |
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Photoshop this red army
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Celebrities without teeth. Yes, it is a slideshow. Yes, subby is going to floss now
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I-81 closed for several days in Harrisburg, PA after Gov. Corbett forgets to disable disasters on his new city
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I smuggled a turtle
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ಌ Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshiat ಌ
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Zuckerberg's attempts to make us all bow to the Facebook Mobile Phone Overlords are met with a resounding, "Um... no"
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It's confirmed, the TCNJ student that last month left her purse for identification on the George Washington Bridge before she jumped off did in fact jump off the bridge
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| (Some Food Nut) |
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Fark Food Thread: How do you make the most of seasonal fruit? Is there a recipe you wait all year to put to use when the right goodies come into season? What other fruit-focused recipes will wow us?
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| (Some Guy) |
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US government shuts down access to files for 3D printed gun. At least, that's what they think they've done
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When you're walking from your trailer park to Radio Shack, make sure no locomotives sneak up behind you-& other tips from FARK's most anachronistic story of the day
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One of the last bastions of manliness for American husbands, the Craftsman power tool is now the favorite of mothers. When did it all go wrong?
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Photoshop this hair-raising situation
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Legislature approves bill forbidding drivers from going slower than 10 mph below speed limit in fast lane
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Reassuring news for NYC straphangers, critical parts of the subway system haven't been inspected in years - if ever
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Meanwhile, In Canada: goat rides horse
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How to Google the NSA way
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After deciding it was a bad idea to idle the workers at the Kaesong industrial complex, Best Korea asks big Chinese brother if they can mow his lawn or wash his windows. China's response: No thanks, we're good
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Long before spring break, there was Splash Day in Galveston, TX. "I came here all the way from New York - and I got arrested. What a thrill. My mother will disown me. But so what. Now my life is complete .....,
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I lost track of time because Kevin Spacey crapped in my gas tank
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Woman photographed flipping off Bulls player Joakim Noah during last night's playoff game at Miami is a famous widow once accused of killing her husband. Is there a tag for COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE MORE FLORIDA?
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"Based on evidence in the photo, police believe the badge licking occurred more than a year ago"
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Besides being a convicted felon, Charles Ramsey may not even be the rescuer
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Barber dies after getting into fist fight with coworker over pair of broken clippers. Cops suspect cause of death to be fail pattern brawlness
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Vegemite sandwich hurled at Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard. So, assault with a deadly weapon?
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Boy and girl break up, girl goes on psychotic two-year cyberstalking spree that continues to ruin his life (Not safe for work)
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The 3-D gun has already hit 100,000 downloads. Hospitals brace for a rise is finger and hand loss
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So what about those reports the media passed on about the naked girls on leashes in the back yard? Stick them in the file with the "12 dead" in Boston Marathon explosions and anything else CNN said that entire week
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Building superintendent mistakes tomato plants for pot plants on rooftop, calls cops. Cops come and mistake tomato plants for pot plants. That's some fine police work there, Officer Lou
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The BBC discovers the "Missing White Woman Syndrome"
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Best Korea gives a "Hero of the Republic" medal, to an unknown female beat cop, meaning either she can write one HELL of a parking ticket, or more likely foiled an assassination attempt on Kim Jong Un that was disguised as a traffic accident
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"I just quit smoking, too. Did you use the patch?" "Nah, slapped a cop"
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Because the Cleveland kidnapping case wasn't weird enough already, FBI finds suicide note Ariel Castro wrote in 2004. CNN still unable to verify if he went through with it or not
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Castro: it's not my fault I kidnapped those ladies. I was sexually abused as a kid. It's not as if people have something called free will or anything
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To be fair, every monster invasion movie begins with scientists "dismissing the buzz"
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Woman force-feeds herself 5,000 calories a day to become fattest possible fetish model. (w/ not safe for lunch pics)
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Fireman in bear costume run over by fire engine
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Submitted for the approval of the Fark community, I call this story The Tale of the Escaped Troll-Face Felon
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| (Some Teacher) |
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Smokin' hot teacher embroiled in sex scandal at subby's former high school and subby didn't read about it on Fark. What is wrong with you people??
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Doctor arrested for aggravated battery after he kidnapped his girlfriend and waterboarded her into unconsciousness. Over a Facebook post
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Jesus Christ, it's a lion taco
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If you and your partner were taking photos of two naked girls in a park yesterday, the police would like to have a word with you
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Hospitals should never make horrifying surgical mistakes like leaving tools inside of patients or inserting feeding tubes in lungs. They certainly shouldn't happen over 750 times
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Headline: "Hospital bills make no sense." Obvious tag may explode at any moment
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Carnival Cruise line continues to lose paying customers
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Tamerlan Tsarnaev has been laid to rest at an undisclosed location, although Zak Baggins and the 'Portal of Hell' was said to be overheard
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I f o r o n e w e l c o m e o u r m e n i n g i t i s c a r r y i n g g i a n t s n a i l o v e r l o r d s
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The number of people applying to live on Mars is now up to 78,000. Strangely, every application came with a return address from Cleveland
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Jimmy Carter named the most trusted politician in the country. All the rest are pretty much tied for last
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Texas Congressman Steve Stockman (R-ifle), who wants to arm fetuses, is raffling off a Bushmaster AR-15. FYI, the raffle is open to all US citizens of legal age not restricted from owning an assault-style weapon
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Media finally ponders whether self-proclaimed psychics and mediums are hacks. Sadly, this is not a repeat from 1913 or even 1963
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Today's Fark-ready headline: 'My husband draws the line at having sex with a troll mask on'
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How to build your own log lounge chair. So you can kick it like Abraham Lincoln when he wasn't hunting vampires
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Libya rebels form alliance, demand Prime Minister's resignation, restitution for the plutonium they gave a crazy scientist to use to make them nuclear weapons only to receive shoddy bomb casings filled with used pinball machine parts
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Today's FARK ready headline: Judge to 'Charlie Brown' voice actor: 'Don't be a blockhead'
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"Only a fool would use Google Glass to spy on people." Well, only idiots would wear them
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Vatican declares Mexican Death Saint blasphemous. That's so metallum
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ATTN California Farkers: Farker's friend's husband was killed in a hit and run in Arcadia. Farker calling on the power of Fark for assistance in finding the driver. Details in link
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Photoshop this high wire worker
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So apparently there is this game called Kickstarter chicken
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Judge rules Texas cheerleaders can quote Bible verses on banners supporting their team, the Lions. Funny, I didn't think Christians and Lions mixed
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There's an attitude problem among the missile officers at Minot Air Force Base. Apparently, the ability to vaporize millions of people with the turn of a key just isn't a skill highly valued by today's employers
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Husband notices his wife is gaining a little weight, mans the harpoon
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Right, miss - what's all this, then? People called Britons they go the hopscotch? That's vandalism, that is
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Jodi Arias. Amanda Knox. Casey Anthony. TMZ asks the tough question on all are minds: Who would you rather disappoint in bed?
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Quick, get to the fallout shelters. Things have all gone pear-shaped at CERN
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"You fall in the damn water and you're wearing water-colored camouflage. What the hell is that?"
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Having the flu during pregnancy may or may not increase risk of bipolar syndrome, but we're not sure just yet
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Sainsbury checkout girls nab their US kidnap fugitive boss via Google. ProTip: When hiding from the cops, don't piss off anyone
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Heyyyy sexy ladeeeee. Admit it, you are riding a horse right now. And a story of why music moves you
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It looks like we can add "Basic Facts About Mortgages" underneath "Science" and "Religion" on the list of Things Americans Don't Understand
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Some people are shocked that they have to pay thousands of dollars to get in to the "Rich Dad Poor Dad" seminar yet they still don't get rich
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Scratch-and-sniff safety cards that smell like natural gas prompt natural gas scare
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Teacha The Hutt charged with sex crimes involving a 13 year-old student who texted her and said he had a problem with his penis, and since she's the school sex-ed teacher, she promptly administered a thorough oral examination
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There's a reason Charles Ramsey was quick to think he was hearing a "domestic violence" situation next door. He's familiar with that issue
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Psychic faces backlash for telling mother of Amanda Berry that her daughter was dead back in 2004. She probably should have seen this coming
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After years of study, scientists conclude Oregon is the worst state to retire in
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Tin Foil Hat Time: Unidentified Body found with no identifying markers except a Masonic tattoo
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Charles Ramsey : "I got a paycheck, take that reward and give it to the kidnap victims
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News: 16 year old girl is a swimming champ who has been shattering world records. FARK: She was born with no legs and one arm
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Mother of the year candidate turns to WebMD instead of taking her son to the hospital after he gets shot
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 418: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 8". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 08, 2013 |
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Usually it's a dream come true when you have two sisters knocking down your door. But seeing as how this is Florida you can guess how it worked out
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Man dies after shooting down power lines for their copper. At a certain point isn't it just easier to get a real job?
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Thief steals $500 from a three-year-old after spotting a three-year-old with $500
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Overcoming his fear of dying on the operating table, man with 132lb scrotum has successful surgery. Took a lot of balls
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New poll shows 49% of parents take money from their children's savings accounts, 34% dipped into their kids' piggy banks. Nearly 100% of those kids already selected their parents' nursing homes
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City figures its old trash cans didn't cost enough, tests out solar-powered Wi-Fi capable trash cans
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When tapeworms start burrowing their way into your brain, it's time to stop volunteering in Madagascar
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Shiat gets real in the Pop Tart aisle
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| (Some Scared Angler) |
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The hunt is on for Frankenfish in New York City's Central Park, Photoshop what else is hiding in the lake
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| (First We Feast) |
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Good: Thoughtful discussion on the craft beer movement in the United States. Bad: Slideshow
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Everything you need to know about the MN domestic terrorist is wrapped up nicely in one photo
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Jodi Arias found guilty of first degree murder - headed for LMITA prison
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Dumb: Convicted wannabe serial killer gets 60 cable channels in his cell, Dumber: On his flat screen TV that he brought to prison with him, Fark: So he can catch up on his favorite show "Dexter"
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Photoshop these matadors in training
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Confessions of a pho hater in Seattle. "Disowning pho is like telling a vegan how much you love KFC"
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Mississippi Supreme Court votes 8-1 to stay death sentence after FBI casts doubt on prior findings. The vote against? A judge cogently expounding upon the ancient doctrine of herpus derpus Obamus
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For one record-breaking day, Seattle was as hot as Phoenix. Of course, in Phoenix it's a dry heat, and here it's just hot ironically
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The Ghost Driver is a fun prank to pull at the drive thru, but it's not recommended when you're pulled over by the police
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Meet William Hornaday, who after spending the first part of his life traveling the globe and killing just about every exotic animal he could find, helped found the American conservation and environmentalist movements
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Family's 8-year-old Porsche returns on its own after superstorm Sandy
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Think of all the things you imagine a cleaning woman might find in an 18-year-old male's room. An IED probably wasn't on your list
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That hot teacher who was fired over her modeling photos calls in to radio, and she's a naughty little minx (more photos including cell phone shots she sent)
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"We hope that, as the Japanese economy grows, we can also help bust sizes to get bigger"
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Where would an $18,000 golf cart with NASCAR track logo get stolen from? Only a trailer park
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Sideshow Bob to plead insanity. By Lucifer's beard, we will all live to regret this
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A look into the deep dark shadows of 2207 Seymour Avenue
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Man plays game of ding dong ditch, emphasis on the dong
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Finally... what Subby has been waiting for all these years; a cheese-and-onion flavored chocolate bar
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Russian prison rethinking allowing that Shawshank Redemption screening for the inmates
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Dear Cleveland police. 911 calls from neighbors about naked women being lead around on dog leashes MIGHT just be nothing more than a really swinging S&M party, but you still maybe oughta send a car by to check it out
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Let the survivor stalking begin: "Cleveland girl born in captivity eating popsicles"
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Of all the former SNL stars, we get this one?
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Indians come up with ingenious policy to increase number of drunk drivers
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Man who shot a nine-year-old girl who was dressed as skunk at a Halloween party with his shotgun, after confusing her for a real skunk, avoids jail time and gets only two years probation
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Queen opens Parliament, needs the funk, gotta have some funk
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For the record, a sincere apology to the cops after they've caught you lying never makes things better. "Guys, I'm sorry. I'm really not a bad guy. I hid the pipe because I was scared"
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Pitchfork used to pry open door during burglary, though you've probably never heard of it
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Shoplifter hides razor blades in his pants. Store security decides to let Darwin take the lead on this case
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Looks like the government is actually going to pay out that $1 million award it offered for information leading to the apprehension of Christopher Dorner. Difficulty: By splitting it among 3 people
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Embalmer of Boston Marathon bombing suspect now wants White House help on what to do with the body, is worried about being stiffed with the stiff
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...This is a seaport control tower. Your callAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH
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It isn't every morning that your 49 year old balding top newsman walks into the office in a "little black dress" and a brunette bobbed wig and announces to colleagues that from now on, he would like to be known as Dawn
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In the last 20 years, gun murders have dropped almost by half. Fark: Americans believe gun crime is rising. Thanks, American media
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How huge is a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier? It takes 162 'superlifts' by one of the largest cranes in the Western Hemisphere to assemble the pieces.(pics and video)
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You're driving near a casino when you notice you've been shot in the head. Do you A) Call 911, B) Jump out and flag down the nearest motorist, Or C) Calmly drive up to valet parking? To be fair though, they have a hell of a buffet
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Upcoming film documents threat to Louisiana from millions of nutria. Guess the title
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News: Man, 90, trapped in his car for four days, survives on snacks. Fark: Uses Fig Newtons to measure time. Florida: In his own garage
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Amir Ismagulov, father of Boston Bombing suspect Azamat Tazhayakov, is trying to clear his son's name, use any vowels he can find
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More problems for Michael Jackson, aside from the obvious
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The man who lost $2600 in a carnival game claims he's not as stupid as you think he is. Yeah, about that
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McDonald's: Thanks for all the free air time. We'll be in touch and perhaps chat over a Heineken
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Cleveland police investigative skills rated below Lou but slightly above Milwaukee Dahmer investigators
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A bear ate my monkey is no longer a euphemism
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FDA announces plans to investigate/regulate caffeine. FROM MY HOT, TWITCHING HANDS
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Can cute puppies make you lose your taste for babies? Well, maybe if it's slow cooked
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US Soldier "coolly smoked a cigarette" before killing five of his fellow soldiers. Anti-smoking zealots consider this to be five more smoking-related deaths
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Toothy "monster" carcass washes ashore in New Zealand. Initial reports say it may have been home schooled
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When posting a slide show about Nick Nolte's $8.25 million Malibu mansion that's up for sale, it's always helpful to include a picture of his infamous mugshot
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"Walmart security will never see these four laptops I am trying to boost hidden under this cat food"
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Normally, when you run your hand up a nun's thigh, you don't expect to find two kilos of cocaine
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Kim Jong Un may have isolated Best Korea from the rest of the world, but the people know and love those decadent Choco Pies, leading to rampant pie smuggling
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Carl "horse pr0n" Paladino elected to the Buffalo public school board. First thing added to the curricula: how to Photoshop African tribal clothing onto the Obamas
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Photoshop this man with a mike
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Anderson Cooper's interview with Charles Ramsey
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"Russian deputy PM Surkov forced out in blow to Medvedev" Nothing a bunch of crazy Russian hookers and blow can't solve, am I right?
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Eyelash enhancements could damage eyelids, make you look like the spawn of a Times Square hooker and a muppet
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Nun faces up to 20 years in prison for breaking into a nuclear facility, is expected to use the "When lift plus thrust is greater than load plus drag, anything can fly" defense
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This may be one of the Biblical signs of the apocalypse... In a new poll, Americans trust 'Judge Judy' more than Supreme Court judges
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Holding on to a woman's windshield after an argument was prolly not the best idea this guy ever had
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Were you entertained by that video clip yesterday of Charles Ramsey? Congratulations, you're a condescending racist
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Thanks to farkers and gawkers, the Bartow science bomb girl may be able to redeem herself within the school system for her felony science
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17 year cicadas horrified to learn about 9/11
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31 people arrested for that awesome, movie-like heist from a Belgium airport of $50 million in diamonds last February. Of course, this may just be another part of their plan
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Civilized people don't throw shoes at world leaders. They throw sandwiches
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Today, one day after Anonymous and affiliated groups promised massive cyberattacks against governments and the banking industry, the world lies in ruins. Civilization has collapsed. God help us all
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Stephen Colbert reunited with his missing daughter
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If you were at the Mojave National Preserve on April 30th and had a bat land on and/or bite you, you might want to get to the hospital soon
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Police on the hunt for She-hulk. Aren't we all, really?
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Motorist accused of exposing himself to girls tells court he was just applying ointment -- furiously applying ointment
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The new "environmentally friendly" high-octane E15 fuel that Obama is about to mandate for all cars may damage your fuel lines, destroy your engine, void your warranty, and possibly -- who can say for sure? -- kill you dead
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Google Street View captures elusive two-legged earless half-cat
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Never inject cooking oil into your face
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Dead Giveaway
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Don't tell my husband - "Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"
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If you need to get out of a bad boardroom meeting in your high-rise office, this is the way to go
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| Tue May 07, 2013 |
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Officials outraged that high school boys organize annual online hotness tournament where contestants vote for their female students to survive, advance, become queen of the hard wood. "No one has been able to make it go away"
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If you are trying to sell your home and have an Open House, you probably shouldn't leave $26,000 in jewelry laying around
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Our long national nightmare is finally over: Lay's chooses chip flavor contest winner
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Photoshop this migrating fowl
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Teenagers collect more than 25,000 cans of food to donate to charity. Oh, and also build the world's biggest food-can pyramid
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Very wise 105-year-old woman says the key to a long life is bacon
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Sooooo Syria just disappeared off the internet, I guess
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Bad: Finding a crack in your dentures. Worse: Police finding THE crack in your dentures
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Cleveland kidnapping suspect on video in 2012 as police dug up a vacant lot looking for Amanda Berry: "That's a waste of money"
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Not News: St. Louis-area landfill smelling particularly bad today. News: Because of underground fires. Fark: "State officials have said the possibility of fires reaching the radioactive materials is remote"
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Robber thwarted when clerk packing heat attacks him. Fark: Weapon was secret-recipe chili sauce
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Iron Photoshop Challenge: If historical figures were alive today. LGT one set of renderings - I think we can do better, don't you?
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Woman, 106, finds love with boy toy, 73
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CNN, showcasing the sort of no-nonsense journalism that continues to earn the trust of cable news viewers, airs a split-screen remote interview between two pundits who are actually in the same parking lot
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Antidepressants linked to increased superbug infection rate. At least you won't be depressed about your horrible impending death
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Why is this 7-year-old child facing expulsion? Is it because: a.) he has violent tendencies, b.) he disrespects teachers or c.) his parents are lesbians?
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Spock vs Spock: the ultimate car commercial
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Be wary when the mystery man you're having an online romance with asks you for your Social Security number and driver's license. And then electronics start showing up at your house and he asks you to ship them to Ghana
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What better time to tell the cops there is a pipe bomb with your ex-wife's name on it hidden in your impounded car than when they're asking you why you're threatening your dog with a sword?
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Scientists say that if you carry a guitar on your back and pretend that you play one, your chance of getting laid increases by a third
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