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Sun May 12, 2013
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Have you ever had one of those days where you're sitting at an outdoor cafe in Milan enjoying a nice spring day and then a man starts swinging a pickaxe around cracking it into people's skulls?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
It's not uncommon to get drunk on prom night. You just really shouldn't do it if you're the party bus driver transporting 2 dozen kids
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Electronic traffic warning sign reprogrammed to encourage motorists to "Smoke weed erryday." Looks like marijuana may not affect technical skills, but it sure does affect spelling
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTW Myrtle Beach)
 
 
 
Bloomberg, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Jeb Bush, Oprah and other members of the Justice League are meeting this weekend to decide the fate of the world
source: wbtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
If you're called the Loose Cannons Motorcycle Club there's really only one way to respond when your rival gang shows up to a party
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
The award for most tear-inducing Mother's Day story goes to the West Genesee girls' lacrosse game, where a double rainbow appeared over the field as a player's mother died of breast cancer
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Passing out drunk on top of your mom and pinning her to the floor for hours is no way to celebrate Mother's Day, son
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Principal's response when 2 girls bully another girl and set her hair on fire in the hallway, "these things happen"
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
A Space Oddity, re-recorded in space by Chris Hadfield, as he gets ready to leave the ISS on Monday
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Beijing business
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
List of things 9 out of 10 Americans can agree on
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Southwest Iowa News)
 
 
 
Apparently, the best way to remind people about fire safety is having volunteer clowns wear bright coveralls and go door-to-door with flyers
source: southwestiowanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Find your high school principal's mugshot and post it to Instagram? That's a suspendin' (but if she had her way, it would be a jailin')
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
When the Good Lord tells you to get nekkid and walk down the street, you get nekkid and walk down the street. Praise the Lord
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arab guy cooking rice in a pressure cooker? That's a raid by the FBI counterterroism unit
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
The Juice hopes the courts will set him loose
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Principal hosts anti-bullying rally, bullies nerd
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Not News: Town gets new mayor. News: Everyone really likes him. Fark: He's four years old
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
NewsFlash
 
At least one dozen shot at New Orleans Mothers Day parade
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely jug
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Now that pill mills are being raided and shut down, prescription drug addicts in one state are turning to heroin
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Star Wars kid speaks out ten years later. In case you were wondering, yes you should feel horrible
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Mother of Mother's Day came to hate it. Anna Jarvis conceived the day in 1908 and got Congress to make it official in 1914. By 1920, she was so disgusted with its commercialization that she tried in vain to get it rescinded
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Dude, where's my stash?
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
First the economy came for teachers, and I did not speak out because, meh. Then the economy came for government workers, and I did not speak out because, meh. But when the economy came for brothels, I knew it was time to take a stand
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
To the delight of every little girl (and some grown men), Barbie's Dream House has become a reality
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
The smoothest 14 year old boy gets the coolest 26 year old woman ever arrested
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Officer sees teenager walking alone in dark after curfew. Does she: A) Write a ticket, B) Arrest him, or C) Tase, arrest and cite him? None of the above: she gives him a bike for his 9-mile commute and her friends teach him to ride it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Four-year-old with cancer gets surprise limo ride. Returns home to find foundation has built sweet custom playground in his backyard. Too bad they didn't clean up the dust
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Free stuff for yer mom
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Woman sells video game console on Craigslist. Buyer comes back an hour later wanting to play real life GTA
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
If the Omaha Public Schools required student-athletes to maintain a 2.0 grade-point average, hundreds of students would be ineligible to compete, begging the question: how stupid are the student athletes in Omaha?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Harvey man shot his wife 10 times, though miraculously she survived. Maybe the giant invisible rabbit would have been a better shot
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
☒ $100 for a carry on bag ☒ $1.99 for coffee? ☒ $200 change fees? ☑ Fark it, let's drive
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Efforts to push through a solid, sustainable bill on education reform are being stymied ... because of parents who insist on homeschooling their children
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Headline: "Mother's Day Is Not All About You". Subby: It most certainly is all about the mother of my children if I ever want to have sex again
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
This stylish room seems awfully empty
source: 24.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Food Network)
 
 
 
Want to make brunch the perfect Mother's Day brunch? The folks at the Food Network are here to help (or you could just take her to Denny's for the Grand Slam)
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Tucsonan learns the hard way to keep toilet paper out of the microwave"
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
If you are unable to solicit a child for sex, you: C) sexually abuse your pet peacock (w/mugshot)
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
It's never a good sign when you find yourself writing poems and wanting to cuddle the escort you hired
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Suddenly, prairie avalanche
source: news.ca.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kidnap victim Amanda Berry calls her grandfather, finds out he still has the 1986 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS he promised to give her when she got her driver's license
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
A cop heard a call come in about a burning apartment, and since he was a block away he ran in and rescued seven residents while the building crumbled around him
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Siblings busted in giant Frito-Lay heist (and for licking their fingers and going back into the bag)
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
Feast on cicadas: "The Shrimp of the Land". Go on foodies, do it. I dare ya
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WiscNews)
 
 
 
Police called over a couple amphibians getting froggy with it
source: wiscnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Smoke 'em if you've got 'em. It's a very special Blossom episode of Livingston Stapler Company Presents, about three and a half hours of music hosted live by a farker. LGT stream
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Train and pedestrian become best earbuds
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 11, 2013
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In 2005, a man wanted to take his life. He climbed over the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge and was ready to take a fatal jump when he heard a voice calling out to him from above. Eight years later, he met that voice
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
A detailed map showing the regional American and Canadian dialects; doesn't explain why the rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
A new study shows that kids in a car are 12 times more distracting than a cell phone. So please do every one else a favor, and leave those things at home
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Government covering up extra-terrestrial activity? We're not saying it's aliens, but
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Remember the Carnegie Mellon student who ran in an art parade dressed as the Pope and naked from the waist down? Turns out there was a law against that
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Everyone out of the pool, that includes you Emily, and your little friend Rishi, the orangutan
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yandex.ru)
 
 
 
Photoshop this melodramatic doll
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Portland Press Herald)
 
 
 
Signs that spring has arrived in Maine: Flowers start blooming, Lawnmowers start purring and authorities start recovering bodies of all the snowmobilers who fell through the ice on lakes over the winter
source: pressherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Dallas school board rescinds order requiring students to wear shirts tucked-in, because fat snowflakes will actually look fat, instead of looking like they are draped in a small tent, which may lead to self-esteem issues
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Four reasons you're not having sex. Strangely absent: You're a Farker
source: magazine.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Latinos Post)
 
 
 
This is what an early morning stroll in space looks like
source: latinospost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Mimolette, a pretentious French cheese, gets its distinctive taste from cheese mites that live inside it. The FDA thinks importing cheese with live bugs is dangerous, and for some reason people are upset they can't get French bug cheese
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
White House elects new pope
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania has some beautiful farm land, but don't take any pictures because that's about to become a felony
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AvaxNews)
 
 
 
Here, hold my beer and photoshop this
source: pix.avaxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Whole Foods provides meals that taste great and are packed with nutrients. Naturally, vegans have a problem with this
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 1130)
 
 
 
Not news: firefighters rescue 12-year-old girl who was being held against her will. Fark: up a tree, by raccoons
source: news1130.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
As society develops, so do its invectives, and here is a handy list of some classics--and some new ones. Not safe for work language, though that should be obvious, you buggery shrew
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Central)
 
 
 
Official King of the Redheads invites you to Ireland's Redhead Convention
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Movoto)
 
 
 
Since 1958 there have been 472 billion LEGO bricks produced. Here's an info graphic showing what you could build with all of them
source: movoto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
State beer taxes: highest in Tennessee, lowest in Wyoming
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Survey reveals the greatest hairstyles of all time. Apparently those who responded didn't take a lot of time to mullet over
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Texas sheriff: Yes, we've arrested a much interviewed first responder to the West plant explosion for owning bomb components, but it's probably just a coincidence
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
One in eight Americans older than 60 reports memory loss. The other seven still remember the days when they had a house, a car, a 401K account
source: vitals.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bored Panda)
 
 
 
"Hey, where's Tippi, anyway?" "Oh, I don't know, probably out riding an elephant or one of the ostriches or laying around with the cheetahs. You know, the usual"
source: boredpanda.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Twenty-year-old orphan places classified ad looking for a mom for Mother's Day. This should end well
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
U.S. Department of Education drops the terms "mother" and "father" from its student aid forms. To be replaced by "MILF" and "Baby Daddy" most likely
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"Just like Mama used to make, eh"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AvaxNews)
 
 
 
Photoshop these flautists
source: pix.avaxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Happy National Train Day
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The world's ex-fattest man is now eating up the publicity he's getting for posing in the nude, even though you can't see his meat and two veg (Warning: Copious amounts of eye bleach required before you click this link)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Man arrested for stealing bedsheets from a Walmart says his home has bedbugs and he was only doing it for his children. He's Florida's equivalent of Jean Valjean
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toowoomba Chronicle)
 
 
 
Super Ted, aka the bipedal battler - a feline who lost 2 legs and half his tail in a car accident - has clawed his way back to health and is guaranteed a forever home just in time to enjoy Caturday
source: thechronicle.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Portland area Fark Party, Saturday, May 11, 7 pm. Deschutes Brewery in downtown. Yeah, it's short notice. Whaddya want, planning?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston Marathon bomber to spend eternity surrounded by Virginians
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Montana woman finds out the hard way that if you're too drunk to drive a horse you're way too drunk to drive a car
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Kennel owner surprises family of partially-paralyzed cocker spaniel with doggie-wheelchair
source: atlantic.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Stomping on the American flag in South Carolina? That's a shooti....er, it's worth $85,000?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
A dog's life: Here's the science for calculating a dog's true age
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
FBI tracks down identity thieves thanks to their continued posting of "food porn" on Instagram
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PA Homepage)
 
 
 
Remember when you were a teenager and you could moon all the eighth-grade girls you wanted without worrying about getting arrested on criminal charges?
source: pahomepage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The twenty-one most common lies told on a first date
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Peninsula Daily News)
 
 
 
You have a spat with your neighbors. Do you: C) take a GIANT FARKING BULLDOZER and knock down their house (and another house, and power to about a thousand people)
source: peninsuladailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 10, 2013
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Taco Bell: That Doritos taco shell worked...let's see what a waffle shell does to 'em
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I said, YOUNG WOMAN DRINKS A PINT OF BEER...THROUGH HER EAR (w/video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Nixon aide claims LBJ arranged JFK hit and asked Nixon to put Jack Ruby on his payroll
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Could this week's mugshot cohorts be any more condemned? Yes, with a little help from my friends
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
To help plan your summer vacation, here are seven beer fests you shouldn't miss
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
School bus driver: "What happens on the bus, stays on the bus." Apparently that doesn't apply when she drives students to her house so they can fight in her front yard
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania University: Fark it, everybody bring your guns
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Institute of Tech)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mini motorbiker
source: rit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
America's 10 best hot dogs. List to the left, weiner wars to the right
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Atmospheric CO2 reaches 400ppm for the first time in two million years. Probably nothing to worry about. I'd ignore it, personally
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Spokesman for South Korean president fired for groping an intern in DC. Apparently, he didn't realize in DC that's the president's job
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Weren't we supposed to have flying cars by now? Jalopnik: Did you check the tree?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tremendous trike
source: kaw.stb.s-msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Fark Quiz is back again to remind you that you only come here to read the headline and make sarcastic comments
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Dita Von Teese is selling her 1939 Packard. Listing complete with pics of Dita with the Packard. WANT
source: cgi.ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
Even Islamic terrorists in Dagestan thought Tsarnaev was an unhinged looney who might go too far
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Police throw the book at wife beater who pulls gun on three deputies. Looks like it hit him in the eye
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Weekly)
 
 
 
Area white man announces he likes kimchi. "Opinions about kimchi fall along the same lines as opinions about Neil Young's music"
source: seattleweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Movoto)
 
 
 
"The 10 Most Redneck Cities in America." Jeff Foxworthy unavailable for comment
source: movoto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Semitrailer rolls, scattering 75,000 lbs of crab across the road. Police seen scurrying to the scene with tubs of butter and garlic
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Bad: Politician gets caught getting blown by a man in a public park. Badder: Judge orders man to write an explicit letter detailing the acts he is guilty of and ask for forgiveness from his family AND THE PUBLIC
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Cemetery: No, You Can't Put the F-Word on a Grave
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYC public school kitchen managers get a disciplinary letter in their permanent record for ordering butter
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Halal" school cafeteria burger found to be 50% pork, surprising many that it contained any actual meat at all
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HBO)
 
Video
 
Roy from the IT Crowd, in a production by Christopher Guest? You're welcome (sponsored link)
source: hbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Slate: Making kids play team sports in PE is neither healthy nor educational, uses as an example: dodgeball, probably the most sociopathic "team sport" of them all
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Dear Starshine, My mother-in-law is dumb as a bag of hammers. Will my toddler catch The Stupid from her if I let the child hang around with her?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Ariel Castro had a previous history of domestic violence and witness intimidation. It just never turned up in the criminal background checks of school bus drivers
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
As God is my witness, Turkey will support no-fly zone
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
May as well make it like Mad Libs. ____ (number)-year-old _____(verb) _____(number)-year-old in the _____(noun)
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Pro wrestler weighs in on complex social issue. It goes about as well as you'd expect
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
37 Things that you'll only find funny if you're British ... apparently you foreigners wouldn't find a place called Wetwang funny, philistines. (Warning: Quite Sweary)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Doctor tells man he's dying. Man quits job, sells car, celebrates last birthday, contemplates suicide and makes funeral arrangements. Does this story end with: a) a natural death, b) suicide, or c) someone paying someone else a lot of money?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Caption this meeting between Texas Governor Perry and President Obama
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
It's been an inspiring morning for the guys working at One World Trade Center in NYC. 1,776 feet of inspiration in fact
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
This is your brain. This is your brain on heroin. Ha-ha, no it's not, thanks to this vaccine
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It turns out you can drive a lot farther than you think on a flat tire
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Nine West Virginia students may miss prom over lack of vaccination, may be forced to dance with their sisters at home instead
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Ha ha, you're Facebook friends with your mom
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Parks Traveler)
 
 
 
Man goes for a barefoot stroll in the dunes. Unfortunately, the dunes were in the high desert of White Sands National Monument, and 14 miles later he was lost without water or shoes. Fortunately, his cell phone saved his dumb, barefoot ass
source: nationalparkstraveler.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
How to Steal 45 Million. Somehow a lot less charming without Hepburn and O'Toole
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 17 Columbia)
 
 
 
Movie theater sends guy in full body armor and a fake M4 into Iron Man 3 opening as a "publicity stunt"
source: abc17news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
"That's when Melvin sprayed Silly String at the employee, apparently causing him to be in fear for his safety and for the safety of the students"
source: mypalmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Sad: 17 days later, workers continue to remove the bodies of those trapped in the rubble of a collapsed garment factory. Holy Fark: One of them is still alive
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Not news: Arizona bar brawl involves biker gang. Fark?: A biker gang made up of cops
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Oregon smokejumpers jump in to the BEST SMOKE EVER
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Could you have refused to let police enter your home during the Boston lockdown?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
7-11stores in Japan have people of all ages draw pictures of their mom and display them for Mothers Day. It's as weird and creepy as you might think
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Chive)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here, just 40 pictures of delectable food photography. Are you hungry yet? (some possibly Not safe for work images on sidebar & bottom of page)
source: thechive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Fake psychic upset that other fake psychic's fake psychic prediction makes fake psychics like him look fake
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(About.com)
 
 
 
How to spot a bad online college. Difficulty: Being online isn't on the list
source: distancelearn.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stylist)
 
 
 
Rejuvenate your skin with the all-new sheep placenta facial. Or try bull semen conditioner - because you're worth it
source: stylist.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
So you left a corpse in the back of the morgue van when you put it in the garage to fix the tail light? It's not like you'll be sacked or anything
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Frenchman detained for feisty heist on weird foreign neighbor charged with theft of diamonds, violation of "i before e" rule
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Plymouth Herald)
 
 
 
Woman told soldier in Afghanistan she was pregnant with his twins in bid to get his cash - went on to claim she had cancer, had her cervix sewn up, was inheriting a fortune and was dead
source: plymouthherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The future of television is basically "Ow, My Balls"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Abercrombie under fire for their "not you, fattie" stance. Hipster skinny jeans surrender
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some St Christopher)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gator guide
source: crocodopolis.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Alaska Public Media)
 
 
 
Not news: Party in Safeway parking lot. News: Police are called to break it up. Fark: Partiers are eagles
source: alaskapublic.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
News: Woman accidentally backs over her daughter, pinning her under the car. FARK: A boys high school basketball team hears the commotion and lift the car up to pull the girl out. Bonus: They saved the girl's life
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Radioactive products from the last century: toothpaste, chocolate, suppositories. What were we thinking?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
School dedicates a portion of its website to a student who just died. Fark: And that's how the parents found out their kid was dead
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 09, 2013
(Newser)
 
 
 
A man probably had a brief moment of joy when he gave the slip to the sheriff's deputy chasing him. Then the alligator showed up
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Giant 50-foot magnet makes cross-country trek, as well as quite an attraction
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Florida restaurant pulls controversial lion tacos off the menu after huge uproar
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Commie)
 
 
 
Photoshop this red army
source: wochenspiegellive.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hdden)
 
 
 
Celebrities without teeth. Yes, it is a slideshow. Yes, subby is going to floss now
source: hdden.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
I-81 closed for several days in Harrisburg, PA after Gov. Corbett forgets to disable disasters on his new city
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
I smuggled a turtle
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hyperbole and a Half)
 
 
 
ಌ Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshiat ಌ
source: hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Zuckerberg's attempts to make us all bow to the Facebook Mobile Phone Overlords are met with a resounding, "Um... no"
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
It's confirmed, the TCNJ student that last month left her purse for identification on the George Washington Bridge before she jumped off did in fact jump off the bridge
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Food Nut)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: How do you make the most of seasonal fruit? Is there a recipe you wait all year to put to use when the right goodies come into season? What other fruit-focused recipes will wow us?
source: uktv.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
NewsFlash
 
US government shuts down access to files for 3D printed gun. At least, that's what they think they've done
source: defcad.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SC Now)
 
 
 
When you're walking from your trailer park to Radio Shack, make sure no locomotives sneak up behind you-& other tips from FARK's most anachronistic story of the day
source: scnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
One of the last bastions of manliness for American husbands, the Craftsman power tool is now the favorite of mothers. When did it all go wrong?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Picture)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hair-raising situation
source: bigpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Legislature approves bill forbidding drivers from going slower than 10 mph below speed limit in fast lane
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Reassuring news for NYC straphangers, critical parts of the subway system haven't been inspected in years - if ever
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, In Canada: goat rides horse
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
How to Google the NSA way
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
After deciding it was a bad idea to idle the workers at the Kaesong industrial complex, Best Korea asks big Chinese brother if they can mow his lawn or wash his windows. China's response: No thanks, we're good
source: ajw.asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Long before spring break, there was Splash Day in Galveston, TX. "I came here all the way from New York - and I got arrested. What a thrill. My mother will disown me. But so what. Now my life is complete .....,
source: blog.chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mandatory)
 
 
 
I lost track of time because Kevin Spacey crapped in my gas tank
source: mandatory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Woman photographed flipping off Bulls player Joakim Noah during last night's playoff game at Miami is a famous widow once accused of killing her husband. Is there a tag for COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE MORE FLORIDA?
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Based on evidence in the photo, police believe the badge licking occurred more than a year ago"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Besides being a convicted felon, Charles Ramsey may not even be the rescuer
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
Barber dies after getting into fist fight with coworker over pair of broken clippers. Cops suspect cause of death to be fail pattern brawlness
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Vegemite sandwich hurled at Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard. So, assault with a deadly weapon?
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Boy and girl break up, girl goes on psychotic two-year cyberstalking spree that continues to ruin his life (Not safe for work)
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The 3-D gun has already hit 100,000 downloads. Hospitals brace for a rise is finger and hand loss
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Magazine)
 
 
 
So what about those reports the media passed on about the naked girls on leashes in the back yard? Stick them in the file with the "12 dead" in Boston Marathon explosions and anything else CNN said that entire week
source: clevelandmagazine.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Building superintendent mistakes tomato plants for pot plants on rooftop, calls cops. Cops come and mistake tomato plants for pot plants. That's some fine police work there, Officer Lou
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The BBC discovers the "Missing White Woman Syndrome"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
Best Korea gives a "Hero of the Republic" medal, to an unknown female beat cop, meaning either she can write one HELL of a parking ticket, or more likely foiled an assassination attempt on Kim Jong Un that was disguised as a traffic accident
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
"I just quit smoking, too. Did you use the patch?" "Nah, slapped a cop"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Because the Cleveland kidnapping case wasn't weird enough already, FBI finds suicide note Ariel Castro wrote in 2004. CNN still unable to verify if he went through with it or not
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Castro: it's not my fault I kidnapped those ladies. I was sexually abused as a kid. It's not as if people have something called free will or anything
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
To be fair, every monster invasion movie begins with scientists "dismissing the buzz"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Woman force-feeds herself 5,000 calories a day to become fattest possible fetish model. (w/ not safe for lunch pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is North Devon)
 
 
 
Fireman in bear costume run over by fire engine
source: thisisnorthdevon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Submitted for the approval of the Fark community, I call this story The Tale of the Escaped Troll-Face Felon
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Teacher)
 
 
 
Smokin' hot teacher embroiled in sex scandal at subby's former high school and subby didn't read about it on Fark. What is wrong with you people??
source: illinoishomepage.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Doctor arrested for aggravated battery after he kidnapped his girlfriend and waterboarded her into unconsciousness. Over a Facebook post
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVY Dothan)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, it's a lion taco
source: wtvy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
 
 
 
If you and your partner were taking photos of two naked girls in a park yesterday, the police would like to have a word with you
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hospitals should never make horrifying surgical mistakes like leaving tools inside of patients or inserting feeding tubes in lungs. They certainly shouldn't happen over 750 times
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(700 WLW)
 
 
 
Headline: "Hospital bills make no sense." Obvious tag may explode at any moment
source: 700wlw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Carnival Cruise line continues to lose paying customers
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Tamerlan Tsarnaev has been laid to rest at an undisclosed location, although Zak Baggins and the 'Portal of Hell' was said to be overheard
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
I f o r o n e w e l c o m e o u r m e n i n g i t i s c a r r y i n g g i a n t s n a i l o v e r l o r d s
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The number of people applying to live on Mars is now up to 78,000. Strangely, every application came with a return address from Cleveland
source: science.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Jimmy Carter named the most trusted politician in the country. All the rest are pretty much tied for last
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Texas Congressman Steve Stockman (R-ifle), who wants to arm fetuses, is raffling off a Bushmaster AR-15. FYI, the raffle is open to all US citizens of legal age not restricted from owning an assault-style weapon
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Media finally ponders whether self-proclaimed psychics and mediums are hacks. Sadly, this is not a repeat from 1913 or even 1963
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: 'My husband draws the line at having sex with a troll mask on'
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
How to build your own log lounge chair. So you can kick it like Abraham Lincoln when he wasn't hunting vampires
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Libya rebels form alliance, demand Prime Minister's resignation, restitution for the plutonium they gave a crazy scientist to use to make them nuclear weapons only to receive shoddy bomb casings filled with used pinball machine parts
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU Bay Area News)
 
 
 
Today's FARK ready headline: Judge to 'Charlie Brown' voice actor: 'Don't be a blockhead'
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"Only a fool would use Google Glass to spy on people." Well, only idiots would wear them
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Vatican declares Mexican Death Saint blasphemous. That's so metallum
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
ATTN California Farkers: Farker's friend's husband was killed in a hit and run in Arcadia. Farker calling on the power of Fark for assistance in finding the driver. Details in link
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big Picture)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high wire worker
source: bigpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
So apparently there is this game called Kickstarter chicken
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Judge rules Texas cheerleaders can quote Bible verses on banners supporting their team, the Lions. Funny, I didn't think Christians and Lions mixed
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
There's an attitude problem among the missile officers at Minot Air Force Base. Apparently, the ability to vaporize millions of people with the turn of a key just isn't a skill highly valued by today's employers
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Husband notices his wife is gaining a little weight, mans the harpoon
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Right, miss - what's all this, then? People called Britons they go the hopscotch? That's vandalism, that is
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Jodi Arias. Amanda Knox. Casey Anthony. TMZ asks the tough question on all are minds: Who would you rather disappoint in bed?
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Quick, get to the fallout shelters. Things have all gone pear-shaped at CERN
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"You fall in the damn water and you're wearing water-colored camouflage. What the hell is that?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Having the flu during pregnancy may or may not increase risk of bipolar syndrome, but we're not sure just yet
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sainsbury checkout girls nab their US kidnap fugitive boss via Google. ProTip: When hiding from the cops, don't piss off anyone
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Heyyyy sexy ladeeeee. Admit it, you are riding a horse right now. And a story of why music moves you
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It looks like we can add "Basic Facts About Mortgages" underneath "Science" and "Religion" on the list of Things Americans Don't Understand
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Some people are shocked that they have to pay thousands of dollars to get in to the "Rich Dad Poor Dad" seminar yet they still don't get rich
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Scratch-and-sniff safety cards that smell like natural gas prompt natural gas scare
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Teacha The Hutt charged with sex crimes involving a 13 year-old student who texted her and said he had a problem with his penis, and since she's the school sex-ed teacher, she promptly administered a thorough oral examination
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
There's a reason Charles Ramsey was quick to think he was hearing a "domestic violence" situation next door. He's familiar with that issue
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Psychic faces backlash for telling mother of Amanda Berry that her daughter was dead back in 2004. She probably should have seen this coming
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
After years of study, scientists conclude Oregon is the worst state to retire in
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tin Foil Hat Time: Unidentified Body found with no identifying markers except a Masonic tattoo
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Charles Ramsey : "I got a paycheck, take that reward and give it to the kidnap victims
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
News: 16 year old girl is a swimming champ who has been shattering world records. FARK: She was born with no legs and one arm
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Mother of the year candidate turns to WebMD instead of taking her son to the hospital after he gets shot
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 418: "Happy Farktography Anniversary 8". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 08, 2013
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Usually it's a dream come true when you have two sisters knocking down your door. But seeing as how this is Florida you can guess how it worked out
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man dies after shooting down power lines for their copper. At a certain point isn't it just easier to get a real job?
source: dailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Thief steals $500 from a three-year-old after spotting a three-year-old with $500
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Overcoming his fear of dying on the operating table, man with 132lb scrotum has successful surgery. Took a lot of balls
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
New poll shows 49% of parents take money from their children's savings accounts, 34% dipped into their kids' piggy banks. Nearly 100% of those kids already selected their parents' nursing homes
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
City figures its old trash cans didn't cost enough, tests out solar-powered Wi-Fi capable trash cans
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When tapeworms start burrowing their way into your brain, it's time to stop volunteering in Madagascar
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald-Citizen)
 
 
 
Shiat gets real in the Pop Tart aisle
source: herald-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Scared Angler)
 
 
 
The hunt is on for Frankenfish in New York City's Central Park, Photoshop what else is hiding in the lake
source: freeversephotography.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First We Feast)
 
 
 
Good: Thoughtful discussion on the craft beer movement in the United States. Bad: Slideshow
source: firstwefeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Everything you need to know about the MN domestic terrorist is wrapped up nicely in one photo
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
NewsFlash
 
Jodi Arias found guilty of first degree murder - headed for LMITA prison
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coed)
 
 
 
Dumb: Convicted wannabe serial killer gets 60 cable channels in his cell, Dumber: On his flat screen TV that he brought to prison with him, Fark: So he can catch up on his favorite show "Dexter"
source: coed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop these matadors in training
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Weekly)
 
 
 
Confessions of a pho hater in Seattle. "Disowning pho is like telling a vegan how much you love KFC"
source: seattleweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Above the Law)
 
 
 
Mississippi Supreme Court votes 8-1 to stay death sentence after FBI casts doubt on prior findings. The vote against? A judge cogently expounding upon the ancient doctrine of herpus derpus Obamus
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
For one record-breaking day, Seattle was as hot as Phoenix. Of course, in Phoenix it's a dry heat, and here it's just hot ironically
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
The Ghost Driver is a fun prank to pull at the drive thru, but it's not recommended when you're pulled over by the police
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Meet William Hornaday, who after spending the first part of his life traveling the globe and killing just about every exotic animal he could find, helped found the American conservation and environmentalist movements
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Family's 8-year-old Porsche returns on its own after superstorm Sandy
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Think of all the things you imagine a cleaning woman might find in an 18-year-old male's room. An IED probably wasn't on your list
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(102.7 WEBN Cincinnati OH)
 
 
 
That hot teacher who was fired over her modeling photos calls in to radio, and she's a naughty little minx (more photos including cell phone shots she sent)
source: webn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"We hope that, as the Japanese economy grows, we can also help bust sizes to get bigger"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CF News 13)
 
 
 
Where would an $18,000 golf cart with NASCAR track logo get stolen from? Only a trailer park
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPIC Roseburg)
 
 
 
Sideshow Bob to plead insanity. By Lucifer's beard, we will all live to regret this
source: kpic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
A look into the deep dark shadows of 2207 Seymour Avenue
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man plays game of ding dong ditch, emphasis on the dong
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Finally... what Subby has been waiting for all these years; a cheese-and-onion flavored chocolate bar
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Russian prison rethinking allowing that Shawshank Redemption screening for the inmates
source: now.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Dear Cleveland police. 911 calls from neighbors about naked women being lead around on dog leashes MIGHT just be nothing more than a really swinging S&M party, but you still maybe oughta send a car by to check it out
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Let the survivor stalking begin: "Cleveland girl born in captivity eating popsicles"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Of all the former SNL stars, we get this one?
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ArabNews)
 
 
 
Indians come up with ingenious policy to increase number of drunk drivers
source: arabnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Man who shot a nine-year-old girl who was dressed as skunk at a Halloween party with his shotgun, after confusing her for a real skunk, avoids jail time and gets only two years probation
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Queen opens Parliament, needs the funk, gotta have some funk
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
For the record, a sincere apology to the cops after they've caught you lying never makes things better. "Guys, I'm sorry. I'm really not a bad guy. I hid the pipe because I was scared"
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Pitchfork used to pry open door during burglary, though you've probably never heard of it
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Shoplifter hides razor blades in his pants. Store security decides to let Darwin take the lead on this case
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Looks like the government is actually going to pay out that $1 million award it offered for information leading to the apprehension of Christopher Dorner. Difficulty: By splitting it among 3 people
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Embalmer of Boston Marathon bombing suspect now wants White House help on what to do with the body, is worried about being stiffed with the stiff
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
...This is a seaport control tower. Your callAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It isn't every morning that your 49 year old balding top newsman walks into the office in a "little black dress" and a brunette bobbed wig and announces to colleagues that from now on, he would like to be known as Dawn
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
In the last 20 years, gun murders have dropped almost by half. Fark: Americans believe gun crime is rising. Thanks, American media
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
How huge is a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier? It takes 162 'superlifts' by one of the largest cranes in the Western Hemisphere to assemble the pieces.(pics and video)
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(KOLO TV Reno)
 
 
 
You're driving near a casino when you notice you've been shot in the head. Do you A) Call 911, B) Jump out and flag down the nearest motorist, Or C) Calmly drive up to valet parking? To be fair though, they have a hell of a buffet
source: kolotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Upcoming film documents threat to Louisiana from millions of nutria. Guess the title
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
News: Man, 90, trapped in his car for four days, survives on snacks. Fark: Uses Fig Newtons to measure time. Florida: In his own garage
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(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Amir Ismagulov, father of Boston Bombing suspect Azamat Tazhayakov, is trying to clear his son's name, use any vowels he can find
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainmentwise)
 
 
 
More problems for Michael Jackson, aside from the obvious
source: entertainmentwise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
The man who lost $2600 in a carnival game claims he's not as stupid as you think he is. Yeah, about that
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
McDonald's: Thanks for all the free air time. We'll be in touch and perhaps chat over a Heineken
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Cleveland police investigative skills rated below Lou but slightly above Milwaukee Dahmer investigators
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A bear ate my monkey is no longer a euphemism
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
FDA announces plans to investigate/regulate caffeine. FROM MY HOT, TWITCHING HANDS
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Can cute puppies make you lose your taste for babies? Well, maybe if it's slow cooked
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
US Soldier "coolly smoked a cigarette" before killing five of his fellow soldiers. Anti-smoking zealots consider this to be five more smoking-related deaths
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Toothy "monster" carcass washes ashore in New Zealand. Initial reports say it may have been home schooled
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
When posting a slide show about Nick Nolte's $8.25 million Malibu mansion that's up for sale, it's always helpful to include a picture of his infamous mugshot
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
"Walmart security will never see these four laptops I am trying to boost hidden under this cat food"
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Normally, when you run your hand up a nun's thigh, you don't expect to find two kilos of cocaine
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Un may have isolated Best Korea from the rest of the world, but the people know and love those decadent Choco Pies, leading to rampant pie smuggling
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Carl "horse pr0n" Paladino elected to the Buffalo public school board. First thing added to the curricula: how to Photoshop African tribal clothing onto the Obamas
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man with a mike
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Anderson Cooper's interview with Charles Ramsey
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Russian deputy PM Surkov forced out in blow to Medvedev" Nothing a bunch of crazy Russian hookers and blow can't solve, am I right?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Eyelash enhancements could damage eyelids, make you look like the spawn of a Times Square hooker and a muppet
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Nun faces up to 20 years in prison for breaking into a nuclear facility, is expected to use the "When lift plus thrust is greater than load plus drag, anything can fly" defense
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(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
This may be one of the Biblical signs of the apocalypse... In a new poll, Americans trust 'Judge Judy' more than Supreme Court judges
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Holding on to a woman's windshield after an argument was prolly not the best idea this guy ever had
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Were you entertained by that video clip yesterday of Charles Ramsey? Congratulations, you're a condescending racist
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Thanks to farkers and gawkers, the Bartow science bomb girl may be able to redeem herself within the school system for her felony science
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
17 year cicadas horrified to learn about 9/11
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
31 people arrested for that awesome, movie-like heist from a Belgium airport of $50 million in diamonds last February. Of course, this may just be another part of their plan
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Civilized people don't throw shoes at world leaders. They throw sandwiches
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Today, one day after Anonymous and affiliated groups promised massive cyberattacks against governments and the banking industry, the world lies in ruins. Civilization has collapsed. God help us all
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPIC Roseburg)
 
 
 
Stephen Colbert reunited with his missing daughter
source: kpic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCET Los Angeles)
 
 
 
If you were at the Mojave National Preserve on April 30th and had a bat land on and/or bite you, you might want to get to the hospital soon
source: kcet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police on the hunt for She-hulk. Aren't we all, really?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Motorist accused of exposing himself to girls tells court he was just applying ointment -- furiously applying ointment
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The new "environmentally friendly" high-octane E15 fuel that Obama is about to mandate for all cars may damage your fuel lines, destroy your engine, void your warranty, and possibly -- who can say for sure? -- kill you dead
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Google Street View captures elusive two-legged earless half-cat
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Never inject cooking oil into your face
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Dead Giveaway
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(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Don't tell my husband - "Oral sex new risk factor in oesophageal cancer"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you need to get out of a bad boardroom meeting in your high-rise office, this is the way to go
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue May 07, 2013
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
Officials outraged that high school boys organize annual online hotness tournament where contestants vote for their female students to survive, advance, become queen of the hard wood. "No one has been able to make it go away"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFSB Connecticut)
 
 
 
If you are trying to sell your home and have an Open House, you probably shouldn't leave $26,000 in jewelry laying around
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is finally over: Lay's chooses chip flavor contest winner
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this migrating fowl
source: media4.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Teenagers collect more than 25,000 cans of food to donate to charity. Oh, and also build the world's biggest food-can pyramid
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Very wise 105-year-old woman says the key to a long life is bacon
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Umbrella)
 
 
 
Sooooo Syria just disappeared off the internet, I guess
source: labs.umbrella.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Bad: Finding a crack in your dentures. Worse: Police finding THE crack in your dentures
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Cleveland kidnapping suspect on video in 2012 as police dug up a vacant lot looking for Amanda Berry: "That's a waste of money"
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Not News: St. Louis-area landfill smelling particularly bad today. News: Because of underground fires. Fark: "State officials have said the possibility of fires reaching the radioactive materials is remote"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Robber thwarted when clerk packing heat attacks him. Fark: Weapon was secret-recipe chili sauce
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop Challenge: If historical figures were alive today. LGT one set of renderings - I think we can do better, don't you?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Woman, 106, finds love with boy toy, 73
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
CNN, showcasing the sort of no-nonsense journalism that continues to earn the trust of cable news viewers, airs a split-screen remote interview between two pundits who are actually in the same parking lot
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(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Antidepressants linked to increased superbug infection rate. At least you won't be depressed about your horrible impending death
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Why is this 7-year-old child facing expulsion? Is it because: a.) he has violent tendencies, b.) he disrespects teachers or c.) his parents are lesbians?
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(io9)
 
 
 
Spock vs Spock: the ultimate car commercial
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Be wary when the mystery man you're having an online romance with asks you for your Social Security number and driver's license. And then electronics start showing up at your house and he asks you to ship them to Ghana
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
What better time to tell the cops there is a pipe bomb with your ex-wife's name on it hidden in your impounded car than when they're asking you why you're threatening your dog with a sword?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists say that if you carry a guitar on your back and pretend that you play one, your chance of getting laid increases by a third
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
The MBTA Transit Police officer that was shot by the Boston terrorists was actually shot by other cops. Oops
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
How are you supposed to blow off steam during Finals Week if your school bans girls in bikinis from wrestling in jelly?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook