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Sun May 05, 2013
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
New "no jab, no play" campaign seeks to discriminate against anti-vaxers by forcibly separating their unvaccinated children from vaccinated kids. I bet some people will have a problem with this
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Moon landing enthusiast? Well it's your lucky day. You can bid on a electrocardiogram of Apollo 11 Commander Neil Armstrong's heartbeat while he was on the moon
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Finally, a guide to preventing the ultimate social faux pas: How to properly dip a chip without breaking it off inside the bowl
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop Ingredient: The incredible, edible egg
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Raw milk sickens dozens. If only there was some sort of process that could kill all bacteria in milk making it safe to store and drink
source: vitals.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Good: Three glasses of champagne can improve your memory. Bad: Three glasses a week
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Good news, we found some of those missing honeybees hiding in Utah
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Latinos Post)
 
 
 
Man kills someone. That's bad. Victim was a child molester. That's... not "good," but... Murderer is a white supremacist. That's bad. He killed the chomo because it's a rule in his gang to kill chomos. That's... again, not sure how to feel about this
source: latinospost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If 3D plastic guns are outlawed, only 3D plastic criminals will have them
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Twenty-six delicious cereals from the 90s you will never, ever eat again
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Wait, you mean I'm not supposed to use money collected 'for the troops' to buy booze & other important things like movie rentals for myself? But I've been doing it for years, what's the problem?
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
There's an empty dumpster behind Waffle House
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this edge of the earth
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
This is why you don't use valet parking
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
"You can keep your 29 boas for now, but don't think it is written in stone"
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
This is what is called a target-rich environment
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
PHOTOS: High school teacher asked to resign after hot modeling pics surface (you'd hit it)
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
"Colorado police say no crime was committed when a second-grade teacher taped shut the mouths of 28 kids"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Legacy.com)
 
 
 
Greatest obituary ever. No, really
source: legacy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine man arrested after assaulting Stormtrooper, Ghostbuster. He ain't afraid of no Force
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Lakes Echo)
 
 
 
Metrosexual fish? It's not as unlikely as you think
source: greatlakesecho.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Debka Files)
 
 
 
Russian and Iranian media predicting full-scale Middle East war involving Israel erupting in hours. CNN reports already sixty-five millionty-billion dead in Iceland, a giant octopus attacking Rome, and Ted Turner has grown five extra penises
source: debka.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Turns out, some homeschooled kids are a little weird
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
I was swallowed by a hippo
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
First, the good news: Scientists have found a cure for baldness. Now the bad news: The cure involves extracting your blood, feeding it into a machine, and injecting it back into your scalp
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Man accused of taking Rogaine from a pharmacy shelf with no intention toupee
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The next time you're standing in line for Disneyland's Space Mountain, pause for a moment and admire the hard work and dedication given by the man whose job it is to clean the ride's slanted roof
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you're getting drunk with your buddy and he starts play fighting with you so you start play fighting back and you get him in a playful hold and he playfully passes out and you playfully drop him and he hits his head and dies
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YolkRegion.ca)
 
 
 
Finally, fresh coffee in space, but at what cost? Tim Horton's to open coffee shop on International Space Station
source: yolkregion.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this road
source: images.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
News: Man gets arrested for stealing a case of beer. FARK: Deputies find a mouse in the man's pocket. Bonus: Man's dad goes down to the jail and claims the mouse
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
PRO TIP: If your drug dealer takes your money and doesn't deliver the marijuana and cocaine you bought from him, just let it go and don't go calling 911
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police dog eats a hamster during a drug raid. Richard Gere inconsolable
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
Two cases of a "sex superbug" discovered in Hawaii
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Forty-nine words in the English language first appeared in a book that may not exist. How perfectly cromulent
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Tired of Jesus getting all the headlines, Hindu god Baba Ganesh makes an appearance on a dried aubergine
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, over two hours of commercial free randomized music, hosted live by a Farker. LGT stream on tunein.com, or go to krnn.org
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
The victim told police she entered her apartment and a naked male subject came out of her bathroom holding a hammer and a crack pipe
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat May 04, 2013
(WPTV)
 
 
 
VIDEO: Dash cam footage released of anything-but-routine traffic stop where driver attempts to kill police with a rifle
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
What better way to raise awareness for testicular cancer than a giant real life mascot shaped like a smiling pair of balls complete with hair? Thanks, Brazil. (possibly Not safe for work)
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
When I was your age I had to walk to school along a cliffside and follow a tightrope across a river
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Israel strikes Syrian targets. This is not a repeat from yesterday
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Is it shoplifting if you drink the whole box of wine in the bathroom?
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Nothing like partying to celebrate the end of your DUI suspension...go ahead guess what happens next
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Sorry guys, but that fertilizer plant that blew up only had one million dollars in liability insurance, so you will have to split that amongst yourselves
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this view from a rooftop
source: cdn2.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Is Chicago-style pizza the manliest pizza, or is it just overcompensating for something? Get out your popcorn, because the gauntlet is down
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Usually when you retire, you might pick up a passion for painting seascapes and flowers to pass the time, then there's this horse
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
The problem with late-season snow is that people get really crabby at having to bring out their winter gear again, so they go robbing convenience stores and hitting clerks with snow shovels
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Personal remembrances on the 43rd anniversary of a Fark Photoshop cliche
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
And it is a bargain at only $59 a gallon
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Teen gets his entire track team DQed because he pointed at the sky while crossing the finish line. WTFark: The school DOESN'T prohibit religious expression
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The US Government can no longer deny that aerial drones are attacking Justice
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Strange Beaver)
 
 
 
Celebrate Star Wars Day the right way. With hot girls who like Star Wars (maybe Not safe for work)
source: strangebeaver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Today's cute animals rescued from neglect by a hoarder: Pot-bellied pigs
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cyclist with nowhere to go
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Marine explosive ordnance disposal team leader earns Silver Star to go with his giant brass balls for clearing minefield to reach wounded comrade, clearing landing area for medevac chopper, then clearing 5 more IEDs under fire for his men to escape
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
NASA launches three smartphones named Alexander, Graham and Bell into orbit and they send back cool pictures of Earth. You still can't take a clear pic of your lunch or get reception in the office bathroom
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Man gets stabbed over a bag of corn chips. You would expect that kind of behavior in a dispute over a Klondike Bar
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yorkshire Post)
 
 
 
Man escalates speeding ticket to obstruction of justice conviction after learning what happens on the internet, doesn't stay on the internet
source: yorkshirepost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
School claims teen mom's yearbook photo with her baby is not allowed because it'll encourage teen pregnancy. It's not like teenage girls watch TV shows like Teen Mom or anything
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass Two Face lamb has to flip a coin to decide whether to graze or blow up Gotham City
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
You know god hates you when for the second time in a week you nearly DIAF
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
FDA to decide if antibacterial soap is safe. Of course, once the public controversy starts they'll just try to wash their hands of it
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man is accused of stealing $10,000 worth of chicken wings. Judge sets bail intentionally high to prevent him from flying the coop
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
"My son was not a reckless person. He decided to try what he thought was acid"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zagat)
 
 
 
"I'm fat and I love to eat and that's what inspired it"
source: blog.zagat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Krypton Radio)
 
 
 
It's Free Comic Book Day today. What will YOU be picking up to bring your nerdgasam to fruition?
source: kryptonradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Cause of death for Boston bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, who was shot by police and run over by his brother, turns out to be "getting shot by police and run over by his brother"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
9/11 museum at Ground Zero will charge $25 for admission. Family members of victims: "These people are trying to make money off the worst day in American history"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Castles
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Oh, this IS news, alrighty. Hooters girl hits a golf ball. That's it. Strangely short article, Shocking video
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
43-year old Little League manager shows 17-year-old umpire who's the boss
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Tampa Bay)
 
 
 
Cat with sdrawkcab sgel ls purrfectly fine thank-you very much and really needs a forever home to spend his Caturdays
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lake City Reporter)
 
 
 
"Winners" of the Ultimate Redneck Wedding chauffered via port-a-potty, riding mower & celebrate with RC Cola & Twinkies in lieu of Wedding Cake. Moonpies might be fresher
source: lakecityreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
In 1903 residents in Van Meter, Iowa claimed to have seen an eight-foot winged creature with a forehead horn that cast a blinding beam of light. 110 years later the creature and mystery remain unsolved
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Get. Your. Filthy. Hands. Off. My. WASHING. MACHINE
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Addicting Info)
 
 
 
Remember the 4th grade science test where the right answer is that god made dinosaurs on the 6th day? Turns out it was legit and the school administrator is shocked at the public's reaction. Awwww
source: addictinginfo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattlepi wants to teach us how to keep a bottle of beer cold. Here comes the science
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
"I thought he was joking," says father regarding the text message that his son sent him which read, simply, "I killed mom"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
It's got to be a little unnerving finding a drunk man late at night with his underwear down around his ankles and he's looking straight through you
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Student arrested for instigating food fight
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(San Bernardino Sun)
 
 
 
German biker doing 130 MPH in California desert rear ends, flies into bed of pickup...without driver noticing for another 10 miles: "We drive on the autobahn, we know what high speeds are"
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Online)
 
 
 
Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport formally dedicated today. Lewinsky Memorial Lost & Found to be located underneath the customer service desk
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri May 03, 2013
(NBC News)
 
NewsFlash
 
US officials report Israeli airstrike hits targets in Syria
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
How to stop a dog from attacking your wife? Bite it back
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
If you try to steal the tips at your local diner using a butter knife, you don't get to say you were "just playing around" when the cops arrest you
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Brew)
 
 
 
It's not plastic. it's DiGiorno
source: digtriad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hotties with mugshots
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bangladesh factory employee ignores the weight of his giant balls of steel, "cut off limbs to save lives" of coworkers after building collapses and doctors refuse to enter due to dangerous conditions
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Have you ever gotten home and not remembered driving there? Have you suddenly "come to" behind the wheel of a car without remembering the last few miles? You're not alone. Here comes the science (and the oncoming traffic)
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these great grabbers
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You know how the Romans rounded up early Christians and fed them to the Lions? Yeah, that never happened
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Mississippi high school tells students to come to Jesus. Atheist group tells school administrators to come to court
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Chewbacca saves woman from motel fire. That does not make sense
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Counsel & Heal)
 
 
 
"Psychologist claims he can enlarge women's breasts with hypnosis"
source: counselheal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
"What is so funny about calling me 'F*ckface Von Clownstick'?" -- Donald Trump
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Google recognizes the State of Palestine. Did you mean: Gaza and the West Bank
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Abandoned dog with four prosthetic legs finds a happy home that is apparently very dusty and filled with onions
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
There are four things a man must do before he can be considered a man: Fight a bull, father a son, write a book, and score higher than 700 on the Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these wand wavers
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
"We ought to celebrate lol as a succinct, universally recognized way to express emotion in text-heavy media-emails, IMs, texts, tweets, and the like-that are otherwise cold and unemotional." lol
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sacramento family that took their infant out of Sutter hospital to Kaiser Permanente only to have their child taken by CPS, get their child back by a judge's order, but there's a catch
source: fathersandfamilies.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Lead theft leads police to ask for leads
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Beer Guy)
 
 
 
Attention Pennsyltucky area Farkers, this Sunday there will be goat races and German beer at the Sly Fox Brewhouse & Eatery in Phoenixville. P.S. Bring your loose fitting boots (details in link)
source: slyfoxbeer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Planet Ivy)
 
 
 
YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN But seriously, you really weren't
source: planetivy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Six-foot penis scrawled into brand new $5,000 driveway. Dickless vandals suspected
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Transgender student denied access to Smith College all because of one little box
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Rosa Press Democrat)
 
 
 
Reflected sunlight from shiny dog bowl ignites house fire. Your dog wants the Sun to not be there
source: pressdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Our special tonight: Cervical cancer served on beetroot carpaccio with mustard-honey dip
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Eel smuggler turns out to be slippery as... hmmm... now if there was only something slippery with which to compare him
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
"Pills typically are kept in medicine cabinets, as opposed to anuses"
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Police in China crack down on crime ring selling meat that has mutton to do with sheep
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFist)
 
 
 
May is International Masturbation month, if you've already participated give yourself a hand... er, again
source: sfist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Cookie Monster is not guilty. Cookie Monster no want plea deal. Cookie Monster wants...COOKIES OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Peeking over your neighbors fence is getting a lot easier
source: techflesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Rhode Island legalizes gay marriage. The six gay people in Rhode Island are reportedly thrilled
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Lego sticker accused of harassing dames on the street
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Cockpit bar & grill: NOT A GAY BAR
source: now.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
KC-135 catches fire midair and crashes in Kyrgyzstan... Really hope there's no heavy jet crash trifecta
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Hang tight kids, we'll be at the cruise ship in a little while. Daddy just has to make a quick stop and rob a credit union in order to make the final payment on the tickets
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If you're think about robbing an old, blind man in the middle of the day, make sure he's not a veteran that can annihilate you
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly says African-Americans are "understopped" by police, needs surgery to remove foot from mouth
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man charged with killing wife with pickaxe, hitting Q to discard evidence
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Radioactive Fish
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Naked Security)
 
 
 
Article about revenge porn lawsuit argues that one site's video descriptions are evidence of what the videos actually contain
source: nakedsecurity.sophos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yakima Herald Republic)
 
 
 
Not News: Washington School Closed today. Still Not News: Due to weather. Fark: Due to freak weather incident: a giant, shining orb in the sky that is terrifying locals
source: yakimaherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Pentagon beefs up its biggest "bunker buster" bomb. Iranian generals seen whistling, slowly backing away from nuclear sites
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Local)
 
 
 
God-fearing powers seem to be holding up deliveries of Atheist shoes to the US
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The "Messiah of Sex" has died. Everyone awaits the Second Coming
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If science finds a way to give us superpowers, will we use them for good or for evil? Or will it be both? And will Florida decimate their state because they insist on wearing capes?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Man calls cops to report a fight. That he was just in, and is now driving home from. Drunk
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
You may hate Fox News and MSNBC, and you may find CNN to be nothing but gossipy crap, but remember one important thing. Most people in the world would kill to have a free press that stupid if it meant they could have a free press
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
In World War II, there were 30 Navy ships for every admiral. Now, the Navy has more admirals than ships
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
German TV network drops reruns of popular detective series because its star hid his Waffen SS past. The Germans did not see that coming
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox 8 Greensboro)
 
 
 
"He fired one round after cleaning his gun in what he thought was a safe direction...." To be fair, it was safe for him
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Last remaining South Korean workers leave industrial zone, move on to Aztec zone in search of more crystals
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Next week is National Clitoris Awareness Week. I can't put my finger on quite how, but we can lick this new holiday in the bud
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Papua New Guinea isn't quite sure firing squads can really stop sorcerers
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Palestinian peekaboo
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
2013 Hide and Seek champion named
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Remember the first half of The Stand? Yeah, now put that lab in China. What is Captain Trips in Mandarin?
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cop crashes car up a utility pole while chasing someone for the horrible crime of not wearing a seatbelt. As a bonus, fellow officers decide to give tickets to everyone who slowed down to look at the dumbass up a pole
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Zumba to protect Lemurs. FEEL THE FUZZINESS LADIES
source: guide2bristol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Air Force Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Male drill sergeants sexually abusing basic trainees. New hotness: Female drill sergeants sexually abusing basic trainees. Obvious: And getting lighter sentences
source: airforcetimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hunter mistakes sheriff for turkey and shoots him 50 times...WITH A BB GUN
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Smoking hot high school English teacher arrested for having sex with a 10th-grade student. And she would have gotten away with it, too, if she hadn't shown up at an after-prom party barefoot and drunk
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Ever wanted to own your own psychiatric hospital? Well if you have an extra $35 million laying around and don't mind Texas now is your chance
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
50 outdoor activities every kid should experience
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man calls police to a 7-Eleven, won't tell cops why, claims he's a monkey and strips off his clothes to show the officer that he is not human
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ Port Authority police officer has saved 5 people from committing suicide off the George Washington Bridge. This year
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
$60,000 would buy a home in some towns, or pay a fine for selling gun-shaped lighters in New York City
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
It's a sad reflection on our society that a 14-year-old boy has to pay a "prostitute" to pepper-spray him and steal his iPad and piggy bank. When Subby was a lad, any girl would do that to him for free
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy's Wife)
 
 
 
When did Peanuts turn from a comic strip about cute kids doing cute things to a story about insecurities and pathos? February 1, 1954
source: schulzmuseum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
Plane crashes into the Hudson River. This is not a repeat from 2009
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
If you see hundreds of troops scrambling around in hazmat suits, tent cities springing up out of nowhere, or low-flying helicopters buzzing around nuclear missile silos in Montana next week, remember, it's just a drill. That's it...juuust a drilll
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WALB Albany)
 
 
 
Criminals show off drugs and cash via Facebook. FARK: From behind bars
source: walb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Wire)
 
 
 
Jones Soda unveils a poutine-flavored pop
source: businesswire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHR Indianapolis)
 
 
 
Students complain after their track coaches make them do bear crawls. Awww, did the precious little snow.... HOLY FARK
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu May 02, 2013
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Does a wild bear sh*t in the truck?
source: blogs.sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Remember how global warming would cause violent weather outbreaks? Tornado activity in the US was at a record low in 2012 since records started being kept six decades ago
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
In the 'wrong line of work' department: There are lifeguards making more than $100,000 in California. Lots of them. All over the state. Not just captains or chiefs or supervisors, but frontline lifeguards
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Calgary Sun)
 
 
 
Come for the rodeo, stay for the deep fried bubble gum, avocado, and cubes of butter
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bubblews)
 
 
 
Bigfoot Hoax Video Checklist: Guy in woolly gorilla suit✓ Shaky camera work ✓ Sasquatch sleeping bag✓ Wait. What?
source: bubblews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soccer fans' smoke screen
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The beginning of World War III will be: a) North Korea vs. South Korea. b) Israel vs. Iran. c) India vs. China
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metal Hammer (UK))
 
 
 
Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman permanently relocates somewhere south of heaven
source: metalhammer.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Community News)
 
 
 
Leotard-wearing, bicycle-riding senior terrorizes joggers in London parks
source: londoncommunitynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Moby Duck
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Outside Online)
 
 
 
Conservationist says fracking operation near national park makes night sky "look like 'Blade Runner'" due to massive gas flares, attack ships on fire off shoulder of Orion
source: outsideonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
Weeners
 
Chinese building erected, shows off the expansive thrust of Dong's architectural endowment with the firm grip of Wang's construction prowess
source: now.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXLH Helena)
 
 
 
"Screw the pic-i-nic baskets, Boo Boo. Let's get into the real serious s***"
source: kxlh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Cop fired for 8th time for leaving AR-15 with friend. Previous firings for beating juveniles, stealing from suspects, falsifying reports, conducting unauthorized car chase where four people were killed & calling in sick...from Cancun
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Taco Bell working on new 'low-end' menu. That's the joke
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark Food Thread: Let's spice things up in here.. What are fun ways to incorporate flavors to surprise your diners when you've got the chef's hat on? Bonus points for recipes. Difficulty: no references to Dune
source: rasamalaysia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Americans are morons when it comes to basic science. But they're even dumber when they're quizzed about religion
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
NewsFlash
 
Shots fired at George Bush. Terminal
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Adults experiencing kids' problems or vice versa
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
I wonder how many people are sued for child support by their wives? Not EX-wife, mind you, nor even in divorce proceedings
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
If you left an unexploded bomb in the Austin, Texas business district, the police would like you to claim it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Shocking study reveals insecticides are killing insects
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Blue's clues lead to arrest. Suck it, Dora
source: commack.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
North Korea sentences American to 15 years of being a North Korean
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
The Richard B. Cheney Vice-Presidential Library is now open to the public. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Just in time for Mother's Day: a new line of cards that feature same-sex, incarcerated, transgender and low-income immigrant moms
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
When does a DUI conviction carry a 13-year prison sentence? Apparently, when it's your eighth one
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
The Bukharin Invasion II: Köln (Cologne) Fark Party - May 3 - 7pm CET
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Interviews with 78 Taliban fighters show that the US is screwed, Karzai is screwed, and Afghan women are especially screwed
source: nation.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Wang grabbed in prostitution arrest
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Two planes clip each other in their haste to get out of New Jersey
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RIA Novosti (Russia))
 
 
 
US Airman, "Aliens messed with the US"
source: en.ria.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newcastle Herald (Australia))
 
 
 
A 39 year old setting up a party house to lure underage teens in with drugs and booze with the intent of banging underage kids gets off again. This time in court
source: theherald.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCVB Boston)
 
 
 
The owner of "Finders Keepers" prefers you not take the name of her store literally
source: wcvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Principal of struggling Boston-area elementary school replaces security guards with art teachers - and student achievement improves. In other news, Boston SWAT teams are to be replaced by pottery instructors and mimes
source: dailynightly.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man gets in fight over expired coupon. Surprisingly, giant chicken not involved
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is North Devon)
 
 
 
Somali piracy kidnap victim launched into a lifetime of expensive therapy by gang of sweet old ladies
source: thisisnorthdevon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Woman researches the impact of prolonged exposure to Florida. Results aren't good
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Large Seaman load dropped on Canadian community foundation
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
US Navy unveils its first full drone squadron, three of which are already on suspension for buzzing the tower
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Hey buddy, wanna buy the Brooklyn Bridge? No? Well, how about the Empire State Building?
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Full moon gets partial blame for death of "Stonewall" Jackson after being shot by his own troops during the Civil War. Although to be fair they did use silver bullets
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
It turns out money can buy you happiness. Huh, who knew?
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indian Express)
 
 
 
"Those responsible for killing Singh will be brought to justice" SOMEBODY WARN TIGER WOODS
source: indianexpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Body found in southeast Edmonton considered suspicious. Guessing he didn't have an Oilers jersey
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kotaku)
 
 
 
This woman makes the exact same face at exactly the same time every day and yes there is proof
source: kotaku.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Environmental Graffiti)
 
 
 
Next time you complain about how small your cubicle is or how the office copier keeps jamming, think about these guys who are paving a highway through the Himalayan Mountains using just trucks and shovels
source: environmentalgraffiti.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Drunk aviation executive avenges victims of Boston Marathon bombing and 9/11 by breaking the jaw of a Somali-American cab driver. Who also happens to be a US Army reservist
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you're looking for a summer job, Norway is looking for polar bear spotters
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Want to sell your home, but worried that the common rabble will sully your environment and displace your inner calm? No problemo: ask your realtor for an exclusive "pocket listing"
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man picked the perfect day to wear his "JAIL SUCKS" t-shirt
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washingtonian)
 
 
 
What do you call a cruise ship full of lawyers?
source: washingtonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
What's the best way to help families living in poverty-stricken, violent neighborhoods? Give them free guns, obviously
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo District News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soccer mom
source: pdnphotooftheday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Leachman horses headed for kill plant. BLUCHER
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Turkey slaughterhouse that employed mentally handicapped men and allowed them to live in squalor while taking 90% of their wages found guilty of varied crimes, ordered to pay the men $240 million
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, something worth reading on Slate. "This month in PCP"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Opening today: "Aroused," a documentary film exploring why "good girls" choose porn careers. Mmm, good girls...Catholic school skirt, glasses, a semi-sheer blouse. Maybe a lollipop...I'm sorry, what were we talking about?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
In news that will surprise no one, authorities have now charged one of the hallucinating hikers with drug possession
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
WBC spins their wheel of jackassery, decides to picket the funeral of George Jones. God hates possums
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Violent May Day protests in Seattle (w/video & photos)
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
You can take anything too far--including "healthy" eating
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Problem: Teachers unprepared for school shootings. Solution: Have volunteers dressed as masked gunmen with real weapons storm the school and fire blanks at teachers, simulating a massacre. There, don't you feel safer now?
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
Careful if you're passing through Gloversville, NY - there's an ice-cream-truck war on
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 417: "Back Alleys and Laneways". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed May 01, 2013
(Metro)
 
 
 
School inspectors: The sooner we teach the children about porn and safe sex the better off we and the tissue manufacturers will be
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Usually folks aren't smiling in their mug shots. Unless they're arrested for having sex. On the beach. In the morning
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Teacher sends home geometry assignment incorporating references to serial killer Ted Bundy and peeping toms. Apparently some parents have a problem with this
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
"Let's celebrate 'Teacher Appreciation Week' with theme days, like White Trash Wednesday." "Sounds great"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Retired JAG buys WWII leather bomber jacket at Goodwill for $17, returns it to 90-year-old veteran who owned it
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
ADX Florence in Colorado tops the list for the worst prison in America, and for good reason, it's as close to hell as you can get
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Starbucks barista out of touch with latest female naming trends, identifies customer the only other way he knows how -- "Vagina"
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Protip: Walking up to a woman's car while her kids are in it, with your junk hanging out, and saying "Damn girl, you're fine. Do you have a man?" typically does not work in the way you intended it to
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man visiting his mother
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Deaf parents charged with killing their crying baby, waive their right to hearing
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Indian zoo shuts down after receiving free tiger exhibit
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Bank robber's official defense: "Since the banks had been bailed out and the people had not, I was going to confiscate money from US Bank in Jackson, Wyoming, and redistribute it to the poor and homeless in America. And that's what I did"
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Trying to report each time a teacher/student tryst is alleged is tedious. So here are the creepiest teacher/sex trysts of March all in one fantastic slideshow
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Now listen mate, I don't give a toad-in-the-'ole if he is 'armless, if 'e gets pranged by a lorry wif no belt on 'e'll be in a right state. Danger to 'imself 'e is
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
The conspiracy theory that Obama is buying up all the nation's ammunition is so crazy that even the NRA says it's bull. But that hasn't stopped two GOP congressmen from drafting legislation to combat it
source: tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"The man then allegedly choked the victim and ran off with her Chihuahua"
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News asks the question: Is the United States military about to begin court martialing all Christians? Well, is it??
source: radio.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this enormous exclamation
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scranton Times-Tribune)
 
 
 
If you are going to install a webcam to watch an elderly person, do not do anything stupid like beat her in front of it, someone might be watching
source: thetimes-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Russian scientists warn that earth is heading for a new ice age starting in 2014. So much for growing oranges in Saskatchewan
source: thegwpf.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Your Zen koan of the day: What is the sound of one hand rampaging?
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
A 16-year-old High School student from Florida was mixing some ordinary chemicals at school to see what would happen, and made some smoke. So, of course, the school gave her extra credit. Just kidding...They expelled her and charged her with a felony
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
France is surrendering again, this time it's sand and nature is winning
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Prescription Drug Abuse and You (yes you)
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS DC)
 
 
 
Polling shows more than half of Americans willing to spend more on US-made products, because AMERICA, FARK YEAH
source: washington.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lex 18)
 
 
 
Restaurant owner really sorry that you misunderstood his attempt to use the Boston bombing as a way to sell pulled pork
source: wlextv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grist)
 
 
 
Of the 257 samples of ground turkey, "virtually every one was contaminated with either fecal bacteria, staph, or salmonella"
source: grist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Students from Kazakhstan arrested, possible connection to Boston bombings. Nice
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Rush Limbaugh: "If you wanna say you're gay, fine, but does it have to be rammed down everyone's throats all the time?" Well, not ALL the time
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Who would like to go with Subby to check out this sunken Egyptian city?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Tiny 'alien' skeleton debunked by DNA: But wait a minute what is that?
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wtnh.com)
 
 
 
Good: confronting the man who assaulted your niece. Bad: He shoots you. Worse: In the groin. Fark: And it triggers a heart attack
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Headline: Parents should hold child on lap on a playground slide. Article: Parents should NOT hold child on lap on a playground slide. Gee, thanks for clearing that up for us
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Authoritarian leader of Turkmenistan tries to hide horse ride face-plant from public, act shall now be known worldwide as "pulling a Gurbanguli Berdymukhamedov"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Disguising your vodka as "water" in an old Evian bottle? Seems like the realm of the college-aged, but apparently such deception is also all the rage among Chinese government officials
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The creativity secret shared by some of the world's greatest writers? Fapping. Coming soon: Fark: The Novel
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Northwestern)
 
 
 
Family discovers fully stocked '50s era fallout shelter on their property. That should be a nice boost for their property value
source: thenorthwestern.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Giving five-year-old "My First Rifle" yields predictable results
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New documentary claims to have found Green Beret who was captured during the Vietnam war, escaped, but then never tried to return to his wife and kids in the US and instead settled in Vietnam, and "forgot" English. Seems legit
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Something interesting about Van Halen and M&Ms, then some drivel about salmon and the US government. But hey, Van Halen and M&Ms
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
A woman suspected of tainting orange juice at Starbucks is a trained chemist
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Facebook is great at making people connect, whether it's children given up for adoption, long-lost loves, or drug mules finding the person who tried to sell them up river
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Woman violates the first commandment to get her hands on the other nine
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quartz)
 
 
 
Futurist who's been playing too much Civilization thinks technology can move Mogadishu into the space age
source: qz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Somalia executes 13 people by firing squad. Wait...make that 14
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you're going to just abandon your baby at least do it in Hawaii
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Airliner 'had narrow miss with UFO.' Or not
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this melting mess
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Birthplace of the devil brought to flesh on Earth? It won't be New Zealand. The Second Coming isn't allowed there either. And no Anal
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia rejected the Boston bombers' entrance to Mecca; warned US in writing. Guess we need to frisk 90-year-old ladies in wheelchairs even more
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Want to generate publicity for your pay TV channel? Easy, just put up a billboard depicting bestiality
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Fellow malthound, wouldst thou accept my challenge in a gentlemanly game of flip goblet?
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
It turns out that "World War Z" is actually a sequel to "Ishtar"
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Boston bombers' carjacking victim finally speaks up, with a harrowing tale made up for him by the FBI and CIA to further their false-flag operation
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Caption this flexing gorilla subby caught during a recent trip to the Omaha Zoo
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Conspiracy theory believers more likely to reject science and behave irrationally. As if we needed a study to figure this out
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Girl born without a trachea gets one made from her own stem cells
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
One-hundred-year-old celebrates visiting the same pub for 80 years. CHEERS
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian police bust $500k a week bootleg DVD operation. In other news, people are still buying DVDs
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
A reminder to all you thirsty people out there: Please do not call 911 and ask them to bring you Kool-Aid
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minot Daily News)
 
 
 
You remember how North Dakota was supposed to have 3.6 billion barrels of recoverable oil? About that
source: minotdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
France surrenders to fast food
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
NYC elementary school goes full veggie, will offer nothing but tofu wraps and bean everything dishes for your soon to be "growth stunted" kids
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Judge on sentencing two thugs: Why when I was a young whippersnapper and drunk, instead of fighting, we'd go skinny dipping
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 30, 2013
(WIBA 1310 Madison)
 
 
 
Wisconsin to force food stamps recipients to spend money on fruits and vegetables. And probably cheese since it's Wisconsin
source: wiba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
You could hide during a home invasion, or you could escape via window and get the neighbors to call the police while the crooks are still there, like this 9-year-old
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bagram crash recorded on dashcam--oh, my. A big airplane like that shouldn't just stop in mid-air
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Pouts and grimaces, and Mike Farrell has really let himself go. It's this week's edition of the Mugshot Roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Deaths from prescription drugs: thousands. Deaths from marijauna: none. No wait...we may have a late entry
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scene break
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: Carpet cleaner left screaming in agony after his testicles were burned by 99p 'shower gel'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
FDA approves OTC morning-after pill
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Are you ready for the America's Next "Top Hooker"?
source: insidetv.ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Being obese at a young age doubles the risk of death, moobs before 55 (with moobs pic)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
One of the funniest stories you will hear today about a guy who accidentally joined the Russian mob (Language is not safe for work)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tumblr)
 
 
 
Photoshop someplace more interesting for these feet to be
source: 25.media.tumblr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
19 signs you've been a vegan too long. Number 1: You're a vegan
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Jayson Blair 10 years after NYT resignation: "I probably wouldn't do it if I had to do it over again." Probably
source: columbia.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Cruise? How about we just go on JoCo Cruise Crazy - 2014 Feb 22-Mar 1
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winona Daily News)
 
 
 
In this week's don't blame the gun episode: "The gun was pointed in a safe direction, but my finger was not in a good spot"
source: winonadailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Welcome to Murray County, GA. Just don't drink the water
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Falling into a meat blender doesn't sound quite as bad as falling into a meat grinder, but the outcome is pretty much the same
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(eBay)
 
 
 
Famous Madonna Sex Fish seeking new owner
source: ebay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Apparently jealous of Texas, Florida moves to install its own "express lane" for Death Row. "Only God can judge, but we sure can set up the meeting." the bill's sponsor ACTUALLY SAID during debate on the measure
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UCSB Daily Nexus)
 
 
 
Scientists create explosive and drug detector which works like a dog's nose, giving TSA one more thing to shove into your crotch at the airport
source: dailynexus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life News)
 
 
 
55% of people don't know that Planned Parenthood provides abortions, tiny American flags
source: lifenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Tsarnaev family had received more than $100,000 in benefits. No wonder they hated America
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
George Zimmerman is back in court today to determine whether or not he is going to try and claim his murder of an unarmed teenager was justified
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
First world problem: Suing the person who sold you a defective pony
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
The secret to running an illegal rooming house in Boston is keeping the door closed when city inspectors come knocking
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
The most misleading headline ever
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Man starts petition to remove the memorial image of Confederate leaders carved into Stone Mountain, criticizing the image for honoring slave owners. Presumably his next target should be Mount Rushmore, which also honors two slave owners
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Prominent anti-death penalty lawyer, who got clients such as the Unabomber and Jared Loughner off death row added to Boston suspect's defense team
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
If you flew out of Seattle recently and parked your car on the sixth floor of the garage, you've got a big surprise waiting for you
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashville City Paper)
 
 
 
Family of teenager with Down Syndrome whose photo became an internet meme are suing for potato
source: nashvillecitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Five shot, one fatally at Florida Crab Festival...only it wasn't a Crab Festival
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Power 620)
 
 
 
Old couple blasts Iron Maiden to get back at neighbors...probably would have been more successful with Yanni's Live at the Acropolis
source: power620.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Sandy dumped 11 BILLION gallons of raw sewage on the New Jersey shoreline, then spent the next six weeks using medicated wipes and sitting on an inflatable donut
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Top 50 restaurants in the world. Nope, McDonald's didn't make the list again
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
It turns out that driving abortion providers underground leads to some pretty shocking conditions
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Graffiti)
 
 
 
See what's going on deep beneath Manhattan as the long-awaited Second Avenue Subway line is dug
source: techgraffiti.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
"All autistic kids are atheists and atheism is a form of autism." No word on what religion Jenny McCarthy practices
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Two men invade ceiling cat's space with predictable results
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Burbs)
 
 
 
Battleship New Jersey asks governor Chris Christie to please return its silverware
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Like you said Colonel, he went home"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hey, remember when we plotted with Fidel Castro and a world-famous ballerina to overthrow the government of Panama, and I had to smuggle 500 armbands disguised as tampons into the country? Good times
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Two California plane crashes 'appear to be connected' ... to the ground, obviously
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
See F. Scott Fitzgerald's online accounts from the 1920s and 30s
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(U.S. Navy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this top secret briefing
source: navy.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The mass extinction event of the dinosaurs was bad for most of them, but surprisingly good for saber-toothed pig dogs
source: science.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky & Telescope)
 
 
 
Greatest astronomy headline ever
source: skyandtelescope.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Dumb Americans and their irrational fear of drones are crippling the private drone industry in this country and giving foreign drone manufacturers the chance to surpass our own citizens in creating the machinery needed for our future police state
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Daily Camera)
 
 
 
Say what you will about the engineering students at your school, but while you're cramming for finals at the end of the year they're participating in robot dodgeball tournaments
source: dailycamera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Mid-life crises. New hotness: Quarter-life crises, also known as The Lohan
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's fans - 14 million people and counting - are teen girls and conspiracy theorists
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYT finally states the obvious: There is no secular "rebel" fighting force in Syria. It's all either Islamist groups, or Al Qaeda, so why are we sending Al Qaeda aid? Is Assad worse than Al Qaeda?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
Not to alarm anyone, but the feral mice in New York City are evolving
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Caption what Prince Harry is experiencing
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Today is the 210th anniversary of one of the earliest examples of wasteful government spending in the United States
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsTimes)
 
 
 
Connecticut man found to be storing nearly 300 gallons of urine in his home. Police uncertain why anyone would want that much Bud Light
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Welcome to the Queen's abdication ceremony and her son's coronation. All the worlds royalty and power players in attendance, crowds outside. Fark: In the Netherlands
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
New study from the Romero institute reveals older siblings can be a bad influence on younger siblings
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)