You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.
These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Sun April 21, 2013 |
 |
|
Father of the year candidate uses his 7 month old son as a shield when deputies approached him
|
| |
|
Taking too long in the bus's portable bathroom? That's a stabbing
|
 |
|
Boston Bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is awake and responding to questions via writing
|
| |
 |
|
Nope nope nope nope
|
 |
|
Boston officer shot in pursuit of the marathon bombing suspects resuscitated after his heart stopped and he lost his entire blood supply. Doctors predict complete recovery but are protecting their brains
|
 |
|
Photoshop Theme: Invent a new disease
|
 |
|
Young woman chased down a hill by giraffes after eating "chocolate covered portobello mushrooms"
|
 |
|
Boston bombing suspects' mother was arrested last year for shoplifting from Lord & Taylor department store. But store gets payback--one of their cameras caught her sons along marathon route, helping identify them
|
 |
|
Chechen militants deny any link to Boston, proclaim themselves as Yankee fans
|
| |
 |
|
Think your community is crowded? Here are the densest megacities in the world, but be warned it is a slideshow
|
 |
|
Most things when looked under the microscope are scary, these 8 things are actually insanely awesome
|
 |
|
How to raise test scores at a failing school? Move all the smart kids there... Duh
|
 |
|
The Economist reminds us that simplistic, knee-jerk opinions on why those brothers set off bombs last Monday are, well, simplistic and knee-jerk
|
 |
|
A sign of the digital age: Paralyzed man reaches orgasm when women touch his thumb
|
 |
|
Fireball UFOs over Ireland still unexplained. Subby's going with "copious amounts of scotch"
|
 |
|
Before and after satellite pictures of West, Texas
|
 |
|
Japanese sneak attack on the Scotch
|
| |
|
Dad: 1, Alligator: 0
|
 |
|
Aunt of Boston bombing suspects says she's being threatened and paraphrases Rage Against the Machine lyrics: The land of the free? Whoever told you that is your enemy"
|
 |
|
Latest hipster parent trend: going diaper-less. 'The Onion' wishes it could make things up like: "diaper-free meetups, where parents exchange tips like how to get a baby to urinate on the street between parked cars
|
| (brickwarriors.com) |
|
Photoshop these Mariachi miniatures
|
 |
|
"This week, these awful events have cemented the reality that the media is now everyone, anyone, with a computer or a smart phone, a Twitter account or a Facebook page"
|
| |
|
New Miranda warning: "You're not under arrest and you're free to go at any time, therefore your refusal to speak with us now can be used at trial as evidence that you're guilty"
|
| |
|
Ten dishes that you can't order at your local fast food joint, but are readily available at their overseas locations. Come for the KFC gouda shrimp-cutlet sandwich, stay for the Wendy's nacho fries
|
 |
|
After being on display in museum for over a hundred years without incident, stuffed elephant has his trunk truncated by some kid, who thinks the "DO NOT TOUCH" sign only applies to other people
|
 |
|
So the Nazis and KKK walk into Atlanta
|
 |
|
California city threatens to sue red light camera company for tracking how many cars run red lights
|
 |
|
Finally: 'bottled water' with 7 percent alcohol content
|
 |
|
Ugly ass baby giraffe takes a left at Albuquerque
|
 |
|
Super hot celebrity 'poker princess' has her day in court as she is raised, called and dealt with
|
| |
|
Good: Doing something with your kids. Bad: Buying them BB guns and then driving around so they can shoot out car windows from the back seat of your car. Best. Mom. EVAR
|
 |
|
Most runaways head for Florida...while Florida runaways dream of Georgia Travelodge rooms with 4-foot bongs
|
| |
|
Kim Jong Un moves two more missile launchers to coast. Posts ads on craigslist, Indeed and Monster seeking PR agent capable of getting him back in the news
|
 |
|
This just in: men have trouble understanding women
|
 |
|
Inside the dark, terrifying world of black market bicycles
|
 |
|
"I've been a labor and delivery nurse since 1982, and I've been at Saint Vincent's for 18 years now, and this is the first time I've had this many twins in that short a period of time,"
|
 |
|
Remember the runner in the orange vest who was knocked to the ground by the bomb blast? Well he's made it home and has a lot of yard work to do
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this mini-earthmover
|
| |
|
Sorority at Indiana University throws homeless-themed party. Area homeless community to retaliate with slutty biatch themed dumpster burning
|
 |
|
It may not be over: Press saying FBI hunting 12-strong terrorist "sleeper cell" linked to Marathon Bombers. But it's The Mirror... so
|
 |
|
Stonehenge general manager sought. Duties include helping visitors, overseeing solstice celebrations, maintaining a blog on the website, giving directions to passing aliens, and rescuing virgins from the Slaughter Stone
|
| |
|
Officers' going naked was 'integral' in massage parlor sting
|
 |
|
When discovered, the victim was wearing a red-Betty-Boop Tank-Top, three black-bras, and a light black hooded jacket, he was nude from the waist down
|
 |
|
81 parents change their baby's cloth diapers at the same time in a room that could not possibly have had adequate ventilation to mitigate the smell, then raced their babies to win a diamond necklace. Yeah, this week still stinks
|
 |
|
Another Saturday night, another Livingston Stapler Company Presents, coming up live from Juneau at the top of the hour. LGT tunein.com stream, or try krnn.org
|
 |
|
Carl's Jr. proves it has the best 4/20 cooks in the business as they push test of new Pop-Tart ice cream sandwich
|
| Sat April 20, 2013 |
 |
|
White powder kills five snowboarders in Colorado. Wished they'd gone to the marijuana rally
|
 |
|
Have you ever wondered if someone can have muffin top of the neck? Don't worry, this week's Mugshot Roundup is here with an answer
|
 |
|
"Since 1978, Chicago Police have arrested her 396 times--including 92 for theft, 65 for disorderly conduct, 59 for prostitution-related crimes and 5 for robbery, and it's clear the justice system might be broken"
|
 |
|
Female lay judge to sue over stress caused by crime scene photos, said she "was not mentally prepared to see grisly photos"
|
| |
|
Rupert Murdoch apologizes for NY Post's horrible covera . . . yeah, I didn't fool you for a second there, did I?
|
 |
|
Former Texas DA, now judge, ordered arrested for lying to the court and hiding evidence from an innocent man recently released after serving 25 years. TX Justice finally gets it right
|
 |
 |
Shots fired at 4/20 rally in Denver, harshing everyone's mellow (w/video)
|
 |
|
Photoshop this free runner
|
 |
|
Esquire columnist's one night stand goes awry because of the Boston lockdown
|
 |
|
For the cheapskate who's not afraid of germs: The top ten free bar snacks in the USA
|
| |
|
How world's most precious substance lured traders and destroyed cultures, wiped out species, and left behind a bloody trail of destruction and mayhem. Gentlemen, raise your grinders to pepper
|
| |
|
Today is 'National Lima Bean Respect Day'
|
 |
|
As if this country hasn't been through enough this week, river towns are now preparing for the rising Mississippi River to flood
|
 |
|
Welcome to Louisiana: Want to open a drive-through daiquiri stand that serves 64-ounce mixed drinks? No problem. Want to sell ice cream that contains wine? Not so fast there, bub
|
 |
|
Judge holds juror in contempt of court for texting during trial, locks him up for two days. LOL TTYL G2G
|
 |
|
Only females deprived of both food and water benefited from the sperm drink, living longer than those on the same starvation diet but without access to sperm - because the males in their enclosure had had their genitals tweezered off
|
 |
|
The federal government thinks it's great that support for marijuana legalization has grown in recent years. It just doesn't give enough of a fark to do anything about it. Happy 4/20 Day
|
 |
|
Photoshop this successful fisherman
|
| |
|
Fertilizer plants and depots must report to the DHS when they hold 400 lbs+ of ammonium nitrate. The West, Texas plant that exploded had 270 tons of it on site and never reported it
|
| |
|
Little League Baseball season cancelled because: A) Not enough participants, B) Floods, C) Parent brings a gun to the game and shoots into the car of another
|
 |
|
Ten things not to do in the bedroom - if you're ever able to talk someone else into joining you there (Article not safe for prudes)
|
 |
|
Happy Record Store Day. Go out and get some music from your local purveyor of fine vinyl
|
 |
|
3,000 pot cookies seized after Canadian home invasion goes wrong. Cookie Monster being held in protective custody for his own safety
|
| |
|
20 years after Waco, it's still real to the Branch Davidians
|
 |
|
How much would you pay the Minnesota Zoo to see some ugly-ass penguin chicks?
|
| |
|
Scoring error in tests prevent 4700 NYC students from qualifying as gifted. If only there were a group of unusually smart people that could have helped prevent this
|
| |
|
Sharp-eyed busdriver catches robber who beat woman with a hammer: "I don't care to be in the spotlight, I was hoping someone else would find him and I could 'hurray' him"
|
| |
|
Los Angeles Times holding annual Festival of Books today starting at 10 AM PT, unplug for a while and enjoy reading something that doesn't have to be recharged every ten minutes
|
 |
|
Concealed carry fails in Illinois House. This is good news for gun owners because if they don't pass one in the next few weeks you can carry any gun you want any time you want in the Land of Lincoln
|
 |
|
Fundraiser for Jeff Bauman, whose legs were blown off at Boston Marathon, has passed $300K and is aiming for $1 million
|
| |
|
'Why I'm suing my gym over their sexist women-only hours'
|
| |
|
Couple made a living by stealing baby formula, a career that earned them as much as $90,000 a month
|
 |
|
West Virginia lawmaker introduces bill making science education mandatory in state schools. Wait. Scratch that. Science-fiction education, that is
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this rare bird
|
 |
|
Earthquake rocks China's Sichuan 70 dead, over 2000 injured. Not a bomb, but it "felt like a big one"
|
| |
|
A cat had been rescued after two days trapped on top of a freeway sign 15ft above the road. "Freeway" is recuperating at the clinic and will soon need a new forever home to spend his Caturdays
|
 |
|
If you had 'less than 4 hours' as the time it would take for a mosque to be vandalized, step up and claim your prize (Update: Twitter page deleted)
|
| |
|
Hot married 42-year-old blonde [✓]. Cake-flavored vodka [✓]. Sex with teens [✓]
|
 |
|
Cue pet shop scene from "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" with Pee Wee coming out with the snakes
|
 |
|
I will be quitting my job on Monday. Help me write a funny resignation letter. Don't care if I burn the bridge
|
 |
|
Fox News closed captioning guy: "I'm tired of being behind the scenes. Today's going to be the day I make a name for myself"
|
| |
|
Headline writing - it's a kind of magic
|
| |
|
Continuing Boston discussion, high-fives, hell yeahs and whatnot here
|
| Fri April 19, 2013 |
 |
|
Suspect in custody: it's your evening Boston discussion thread. Holy Crap (Thread is now closed)
|
| |
|
Al Neuharth, USA Today founder, dies at 89. Obituary will be created as an infographic and slid under your hotel door
|
 |
|
She can take the house, kids, and half my money, but biatch betta not take my porno
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Czech ambassador would like to inform you that "the Czech Republic and Chechnya are two very different entities"
|
 |
|
It's your early-evening discussion thread on the Boston Marathon bombers and the ongoing law enforcement manhunt (Thread now closed)
|
 |
|
How not to pick up 14-year-old girls at the beach: floating on your back in the water with your shorts around your ankles. Especially if you're a 69-year-old man
|
 |
|
8th grader suspended and arrested for wearing a pro-second amendment shirt
|
 |
|
Photoshop these broken breakers
|
| |
|
If you need to take a break from the ongoing Boston threads, there's always the Fark Quiz
|
| |
|
Updated late-afternoon discussion thread on the Boston Marathon bombers and the ongoing law enforcement manhunt (Link goes to live feed of breaking developments)
|
 |
|
India's 'Disneyland' set to open, now hiring caste members
|
 |
|
With no fanfare whatsoever, Senate votes 95-2 for improved mental healthcare
|
 |
|
"So where was I born, daddy?" "At a Barnes & Noble parking lot, which was something called a bookstore"
|
| |
|
Updated mid-afternoon discussion thread on the Boston Marathon bombers and the law enforcement manhunt (Link goes to live feed of breaking developments)
|
 |
|
Photoshop this happy couple
|
 |
|
The next time you're being interviewed on TV about the Boston bombers, make sure you hide your giant pink dildo, mmmkay?
|
| |
|
Eerie photos of a deserted city while Boston remains locked down
|
| |
|
Meet the one person who looks even more like a turtle than Mitch McConnell: the world's oldest man. Then wish him happy birthday, because he just turned 116
|
 |
|
Boy Scouts of America figure today would be a good day to announce they are proposing to lift ban on gays as youth members. It's not like anything else is going on that would overshadow such a major announcement
|
| (Somepony) |
|
What's on TV? Marathon bombings. MIT rampage. Ricin mailings. North Korea wants to nuke Hawaii? F*ck it; we're watching My Little Pony. Who's with me?
|
| |
|
Updated discussion thread on the Boston Marathon bombers and the law enforcement situation (Link goes to live feed of breaking developments)
|
| |
|
The Second Amendment guarantees every American the right to an acceptable amount of chicken wings
|
 |
|
Breaking news from TMZ: Kim Kardashian is now divorced
|
 |
|
Florida may become first state to regulate drones, sadly putting a preemptive stop to many future Fark greenlights
|
| |
|
House finally takes action and passes a bill. The Fatally Flawed CISPA bill, but at least they are passing something
|
| |
|
Dzhokhar Who?
|
 |
|
Two homemade explosive devices explode at Bangor Middle School in Bangor, Michigan because why not
|
 |
|
Entire city of Boston shut down, except Dunkin Donuts, you know, for law enforcement purposes
|
 |
|
Chechen President Ramzan Kadyrov on Boston bombing suspects: "They grew up in the United States; their attitudes and beliefs were formed there. It is necessary to seek the root of this evil in America"
|
 |
|
FAA reminds travelers that the Sequester is still happening, and that upcoming furloughs could affect "thousands of flights per day." But don't worry, Congress is on it, right? Right?
|
| |
|
The world's last AOL user speaks out on his nephews, the Boston terror suspects. "They deserve to die"
|
 |
|
Answer: Catapults, cannons and submarines. Question: Name some of things used to smuggle drugs across the border
|
 |
|
The latest: Boston Marathon bombing suspects identified. One dead, manhunt for the second is underway, ALL OF BOSTON on lockdown
|
 |
|
To be fair, they are identified by a giant bullseye
|
 |
|
Epicurious is sorry if using the Boston bombing to self-promote recipes "seemed insensitive". After all, using terror and murder to push scones is kind of a grey area
|
 |
|
Former Pakistan president Musharraf taken into custody to address abuses of power during his presidency. Police still searching for his mustache, which may have already boarded a flight out of the country
|
 |
|
The conspiracy continues to widen as it's revealed that Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev attended the same high school as Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
|
 |
|
One of our nation's most successful fisherman is virtually unknown because of his catch, which so far consists of 67,000 tires, 1000 refrigerators, 218 washing machines, 19 tractors, 12 hot tubs and 4 pianos
|
| |
|
Clerk laughed at the masked man with a knife and just said 'no.' Twice. It worked
|
| |
|
Balzac drank fifty cups of coffee a day, which could explain his tendency to be too hyper to sit down in slatted wooden chairs
|
| |
|
White hat Boston Marathon suspect was friendly, laid back, say ex-high school classmates
|
| |
|
Idiots shocked to discover that doing illegal stuff and sharing it on social media sites can get you in trouble
|
 |
|
Even NPR isn't immune from the godawful reporting over the past week: All Things Considered says that Hitler is a prominent figure of the anti-government crowd. Yup, because when you think "fascism," you think less government control
|
 |
|
From the Hedging Our Bets department - Police in Niagara Falls detain two Russians from Boston for, you know, stuff
|
| |
|
Boston locals - coordinate info in this thread. What do you see outside? Nonlocals welcome to repost from other sources (tw/fb/etc)
|
| |
|
Photoshop this man holding a robot's hand
|
 |
|
After further review, Sheriff asks County Attorney to drop charges of criminal mischief against woman who broke a spork in jail (includes photo of this dangerous violent criminal)
|
 |
|
Dead Boston Marathon bomber could have been selected for the US Olympic Boxing team
|
 |
|
Drunk man tossed from hotel, accused of stealing shuttle. Only an Enterprising Challenger would take on such an Endeavor
|
| |
|
Runner survives Boston bombing, returns home in time for the Waco explosion. "Maybe he just needs to stand in an open field"
|
| |
|
Scientist are 99% sure we are the aliens
|
 |
|
Boston Globe is the latest news agency to play the "Bomberman in Custody" card. Will the FBI be able to successfully counter it?
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Some ad exec thought a week with two huge explosions would be the perfect week to debut a website with a cryptic message and a countdown timer
|
| |
|
So whomever guessed "47" as the number of former patients of that Oklahoma dentist who wasn't sterilizing his instruments who contracted a disease, step forward to claim your prize (Hint: the prize is Hepatitis)
|
 |
|
Nestle CEO declares water "food that should be privatized, and not a human right"
|
| |
|
Fruit flies do better eating organic fruit. Subby thinks it might have something to do with the pesticides on the conventional fruit, but what does he know?
|
| |
|
Americans outraged that Boston memorial service interrupted "The Price Is Right"
|
| |
|
Heir to the Anheuser-Busch fortune drops his NRA membership because the group successfully lobbied to defeat the Senate bill that would have expanded background checks
|
| |
|
Well, where were the cops supposed to take the homeless? To their homes?
|
 |
|
We went to a Men's Rights lecture in Toronto and discovered they are a bunch of losers
|
 |
|
Sorry about all the smoke from this cremation but that's what happens when you burn an 800 pound person
|
| |
|
Police car in Boston stolen, reports of grenades, automatic weapons and explosives at scene coming in on the scanner, police ordered to retreat from the scene
|
 |
|
Bank VP of computer security charged with child porn, uses the "I learned the search terms from doing investigations", "I was molested", and "my lawyer is so old he calls a 45-year-old a 'young man'" defense
|
 |
|
Boston bombing victim, who lost both of his legs, woke up from surgery, still heavily drugged, and helped identify one of the attackers
|
 |
|
Active shooter alert on MIT campus. As if Boston didn't have enough problems this week
|
| Thu April 18, 2013 |
| |
|
Two smoking hot teachers investigated for having sex with some high school athletes. How come this never happened to subby in high school
|
 |
|
Expectant couple shocked to learn that somehow, companies knew of their impending parenthood and began sending them baby product catalogs
|
 |
|
How be a douche in 2007: ghost ride the whip. How to be a more dangerous douche in 2013: drive without a steering wheel
|
| |
|
"I think a sexual predator lives there" "What makes you say that?" "Well, for one thing: the sign by the front door that says so"
|
| |
|
Dumbass kid gets lost in Southeastern Oregon emulating dumbass guy from 'Into the wild'. Dumbass tag is for dumbasses. Dumbass
|
| |
|
How to help your dog cope with separation anxiety. Your dog wants a warm blanket
|
 |
|
Durex unveils "fundaware", vibrating underwear controlled by your iPhone (Not safe for work)
|
| |
|
"I dunno who he is, but his face sure rings a bell"
|
 |
|
He then drove to his brother's home and later shot himself under the chin -- however, his dentures deflected the bullet, saving his life. With mugshot goodness
|
| |
|
Photoshop this bed in Belarus
|
 |
|
Today's made for Fark headline comes *snicker* to us from the Waco Tribune sports desk
|
 |
|
FBI press conference thread. Pics and video expected. LGT live stream from local Boston news
|
| |
|
Pope redirects $2000 "new pope" bonuses for 4500+ Vatican workers to charitable organizations
|
 |
|
Jesus, this week
|
| |
|
CNN Reports 600 new Earth-like planets found within our own Solar System
|
 |
|
Pat Robertson tells viewers to stay away from Dungeons & Dragons because it has "literally destroyed people's lives." Prevented lives from being created, maybe. But "destroyed"?
|
 |
|
Fark Food Thread: Are you a stir-fry wizard? What makes your wok sizzle? Have a tool or trick that makes your creation come out right every time? Pics, tips, recipes, and happiness to your right
|
| |
|
Photoshop theme: Realistic team logos and mascots
|
 |
|
Live on a small island and want to reduce the chance of incest before hooking up? There's an app for that
|
 |
|
Sorority sister lashes out at her sisters for "FARKING SUCKING" at Greek Week social events. Isn't that what sorority girls do? (Not safe for work language everywhere)
|
 |
|
CNN has become the human centipede of news
|
| |
|
Bad: going through all the effort of breaking into a car and finding nothing of value to steal. Worse: breaking into a car full of toxic asbestos
|
 |
|
Common words that when you say them make people think you're from Alabama
|
 |
|
Texas woman obtains indisputable proof that ghosts are real, and they wear leisure suits
|
| |
|
New York Post continues on its spree of ruining the lives of dark skinned people who happened to be in the crowd at the Boston Marathon
|
| |
|
Woman sues CVS for listing her name on a receipt as "Ching Chong"
|
| |
|
Dayton Air Show wanted to "re-enact" Hiroshima, some people had a problem with that
|
 |
|
Because real car mechanics ALWAYS hang out in random parking lots, and offer to fix your car with spray paint and duct tape
|
 |
|
"Several people saw him, including a woman who said he was jogging down the sidewalk, a man who told him to put his pants on and a child"
|
| |
|
Ten creepiest food mascots of all time, featuring at number 4, Ronald McDonald, the early years
|
 |
|
Psy's new video "Gentleman" banned from Korean airwaves because he...kicks a traffic cone in the video
|
| |
|
With up to 15 people dead and dozens injured, Texas explosion aftermath described as "like a war zone". America hasn't seen scenes like this since...well, since Monday actually, but it's been an unusual week
|
 |
|
Leaning inside their car, swearing and pointing your gun at them is no way to express your annoyance with another McDonalds drive-thru customer, Officer
|
 |
|
If you said "within about 12 hours" until someone compared the West, TX explosion to 9/11, step on up and claim your prize (halfway down in TFA)
|
| |
|
Just when you thought things couldn't get any stranger this week: the man arrested for sending ricin-tainted letters is an Elvis impersonator, who has been hounded by authorities for years, since he stumbled upon an illegal organ-harvesting ring
|
| |
|
In Australia, a country peopled for hundreds of years with the undesirables of Britain and possessing a culturally suppressed conquered native population that has turned to social scavenging to survive, they are having a problem with racism
|
| |
|
The "crime scene" on Google earth which went viral - was really just a five-year-old Dutch dog after a swim (possibly Not safe for work content on page)
|
 |
|
Chicago, Chicago, my kind of t...SINKHOLE
|
| |
|
Dear CNN, it's okay to say "We don't know"
|
| |
|
Daily Mail identifies all important pretty blonde white girl angle in Boston tragedy
|
 |
|
"Media should be slapped with shovels over Boston coverage"
|
| |
|
North Korea to the US: We'll stop acting like biatches, but first you need to remove the sanctions you imposed on us for acting like biatches
|
| |
|
The media's marathon meltdown. Worse than Chernobyl and sadder than Wolf Blitzer's Jeopardy score, but like a terrible car accident, you can't help but look on in horror at the state of the media
|
 |
|
Good news, Boston. Iran's Ayatollah Khamenei has condemned the Boston Marathon attack and then took a jab at American policies because he was falling short on his yearly quota
|
 |
|
Theme: Photoshop actor, musician, activist and multi-talented Steven Seagal into his next direct-to-video movie or project
|
| |
|
North Korea vows that their attack on South Korea will start without notice. It will also start without proper weapons, ammunition or a trained army
|
| |
|
Saudi national the New York Post deemed a "person of interest" in Boston marathon bombing, but was cleared, will be deported for "national security reasons". Thanks, Rupert
|
| |
|
Missouri man requests to be removed from state Senator's email distribution list. Does the Senator: A) remove him from the list, B) convince the man of the value of the newsletter, or C) launch into a back-and-forth worthy of Fark's politics tab?
|
 |
|
Daddy-daughter duo rescues man who texted his way onto subway tracks
|
| |
|
Governor Patrick: Seriously, you guys are idiots. You really had Wolf Blitzer going out there with information he made up as a "scoop"? What happened guys, you used to be cool
|
 |
|
No no, see, I'm taking these official Boston Marathon shirts from this unattended tent after the explosions to um, uh, well, let's see....oh yeah, to help and comfort the injured - yeah, that's it (w/ video)
|
 |
|
Was an Ohio Catholic high school teacher of 19 years fired for a) poor performance, b) sex with her students, or c) listing her partner's name in her mother's obituary?
|
| |
|
Twelve-year-old boy injured in Boston wakes up between surgeries. First question: Did Mom Finish?
|
 |
|
Here's how to take the law into your own hands: Neighbors frustrated with stubborn city engineers put up their own stop signs
|
| |
|
Who knew there are mail order brides for swans?
|
| |
|
Alfred Hitchcock would be proud
|
| |
|
Driver experiencing "parking lot rage"--when you drive around tailing someone hoping to get their spot only to realize they don't know where they parked--snaps and runs over woman in a Publix lot
|
| |
|
Funny guy makes a joke about his sandwich being 'the bomb' while boarding a plane. Hilarity ensues in the holding area
|
| |
|
Texas Department of Public Safety and Texas Rangers are asking anyone who is self-dispatching to help at the West, TX explosion DO NOT DO SO. They have too many responders without any chain of control at this time
|
 |
|
Dove's new ad campaign involves an FBI sketch artist and women crying about their looks. Sounds like a bachelorette party gone wrong
|
 |
|
Bad week just got worse: Chinese authorities suspect human-to-human transmission of H7N9 avian flu
|
 |
 |
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 415: "Textures". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
|
| Wed April 17, 2013 |
 |
|
Cell phone video of Waco fertilizer plant fire and explosion from WAY too close
|
 |
|
If you're in a bad mood or show up late for an appointment in Kansas, that obviously means you're on drugs and therefore ineligible to for welfare. "The tests will not look for alcohol use"
|
 |
|
Massive explosion at fertilizer plant near Waco. ATF denies any involvement
|
 |
|
Father and daughter team up to fight in Afghanistan. "If you're going to go to war, you should go with people you know"
|
 |
|
More on Carlos Arredondo, also known as Cowboy Hat Guy
|
 |
|
"It's not that I wouldn't molest a kid, per se. It's that I wouldn't molest a black kid"
|
 |
|
Message in a bottle travels in 28 years from Nova Scotia ending up in a river in Croatia
|
| |
|
Photoshop this patient recovering
|
| |
|
Badass New Zealand MP gives hilarious speech thoroughly rebuking the anti-gay elements in his country like a farking boss
|
| |
|
What's stranger: The fact that some unhappy costumers tossed a dead groundhog and a grouse into a small-town bar, or the fact that the local police chief says the use of dead animals in this fashion is fairly common
|
| |
|
Arrest in the ricin mailings. And this is from NBC, so we can believe it
|
| |
|
Wearing Google Glass may cause eye strain, douchebaggery
|
| |
|
Reasonable man threatens to sue weather service over inaccurate forecasts
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
The 10 most alcoholic beers brewed in America
|
 |
|
Western lowland gorilla, Amur tiger give birth again at Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium
|
| |
|
CNN helpfully lists five viral stories about the Boston attacks that are untrue. Difficulty: none of them are CNN's
|
| |
|
Groundbreaking study finds that having more sex makes people happy, and even happier if you think you're getting more sex than everybody else
|
| |
|
Canadian conservative pundit makes his case for legalization of marijuana
|
| |
|
Protip: If you're the Lord Mayor of London try not to kill the Queen Of England with your broadsword when you turn around quickly
|
| |
|
Photoshop these Sri Lankan soldiers having a smashing good time
|
 |
|
School for Deaf and Blind is putting on their first musical. Anne Frank to be thanked repeatedly in program notes
|
| |
|
Don't you just hate it when you're just sitting there in the pavilion enjoying a festival, when all of a sudden you're being deported for being "too handsome?" Yea, me too. I hate it when that happens
|
 |
|
The US Postal Service loses $25 million a day. And that's just the way Congress wants it
|
 |
|
Got $2.4M? Want a zoo including 'more than $1 million worth of "exotic animals" '? No problem
|
 |
|
Say goodbye to "master bedroom." For the sake of political correctness, it is now the "owner's suite"
|
| |
|
CNN says arrest made. NBC says no arrest has been made. CNN vs NBC in MSM smackdown
|
 |
|
Are you able to 'identify pornography'? Here might be the job for you
|
| |
|
Bad: You need surgery. Worse: You suffer "complications". Fark: Hospital profits TRIPLE thanks to their mistakes
|
| |
|
UPDATE: Authorities have arrested a suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings. JK LOL
|
 |
|
Suspect gets grilled after a charcoal path leads police to a stolen barbecue. What an ashhole
|
 |
|
Geese create outdoor maternity ward in hospital parking lot. Goose-larity ensues
|
 |
|
It should have been a run-of-the-mill news conference promoting the state's new anti-litter campaign. But then the half-naked woman showed up
|
| |
|
Arizona would like you to hand in your guns so they can sell them back to you please
|
 |
|
Doubling down: U.S. Capitol Police evacuating first floor of a Senate office building because of a suspicious package
|
| |
|
Letter to President Obama containing "suspicious substance" intercepted at off-site mail facility. Developing story (updated link)
|
 |
|
And the nation's most challenged book is ... Captain Underpants, a really big threat to society
|
 |
|
Not News: NASA is launching a satellite today. News: It's a small satellite made out of a Smartphone. FARK: It uses ham radio to communicate
|
 |
|
According to Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Acist), the Boston Marathon bombings reveal the danger of a proposed immigration bill because "radical Islamists are being trained to act Hispanic"
|
 |
|
The five things the New York Post got right about the Boston Bombing
|
 |
|
Every good salesman knows you have to be marketing your product online. Unless it's heroin
|
| |
|
Damn near killed him
|
| |
|
Most British man ever attends Thatcher's funeral
|
| |
|
Frodo and Sam will finally be able to exchange a ring that has nothing to do with Sauron
|
 |
|
4Chan alleges to have ID'd the Boston Bomber. Or possibly some other poor schmuck with the same bad taste in backpacks
|
 |
|
The wife of former Justice of the Peace Eric Williams arrested for the murders of a Texas county district attorney, his wife, and a top prosecutor
|
 |
|
iSteve movie is out. Explain computers to me
|
| |
|
Thousands of people sign up to become Major Tom
|
 |
|
"Weiner's poll rising"
|
| |
|
Actual headline: "Let's hope the Boston Marathon bomber is a white American." Because if there is one thing Americans can't stand, it is foreigners taking our jobs
|
 |
|
Anonymous hacks Westboro Baptists's FB page with epic results
|
| |
|
Photoshop these Babugeri of Bansko, Bulgaria
|
| |
|
Maureen Dowd compares drone strikes to Angry Birds. And it works
|
| |
|
Now the Boston Marathon conspiracy theories are brewing, and the photo and video evidence is only emboldening their cause
|
 |
|
Headline: Dark Matter may have been seen. Quote from article: "We're not claiming anything"
|
 |
|
Lying telemarketer scum thrown out of the state
|
| |
|
While everyone has been arguing over whether the Boston Marathon bombings were done by home-grown terrorists or Islamists, Congress quietly signs a law to repeal the ban on Insider Trading for Congress
|
 |
|
Top 10 crazy conspiracy tweets on Boston Bombing. Come for the 'I blame Fartbongo.' Stay for the 'I blame women.' And don't miss the Camel Piss beverage angle
|
| |
|
Last words you probably don't want to be remembered for: "There's a problem with the brakes"
|
| |
|
Ale yeast running for official state microbe of Oregon. Subby wishes to welcome our new unicellular overlords
|
| |
|
FBI: Someone knows who did this. Has Bob in accounting been acting weird lately? Has he been bad mouthing those "super-fit runners"? Give us a call
|
 |
|
How awful has the coverage of the Gosnell mass murder trial been? Even Snopes has to chime in and say, yes, this story is really true
|
| |
|
Bostonians place sex ads on CraigsList, use marathon bombing as pick-up line
|
 |
|
Columbus GA teen accused of shooting, injuring parents when they insisted he do his chores instead of looking up a Bible verse for a friend. At least he obeyed one of the commandments
|
| |
|
Louisville wins one for the gimper, serial masturbator to handle his own business, and that's a moray: a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/7 - 4/13
|
| |
|
This just in: Beer pong is disgusting
|
 |
|
Best advice of all time for female hikers: lose the bra. It may save your life someday. Subby plans on setting up trailhead advice stations to aid in this cause
|
 |
|
These soldiers did the Boston Marathon wearing 40-pound packs. Then they helped save lives. Something, something, dust...eye
|
 |
|
You thought kudzu was bad? The bugs that live on kudzu are even more invasive and may threaten significant segments of the US soybean crop
|
 |
|
The early bird catches the worm. The early pantsless shoplifter wearing only cherry tomatoes catches the frozen sausage sandwich
|
 |
|
Having solved all their other problems, Anheuser-Busch develops 16-step process to manufacture a bent can
|
| |
|
This is a tragedy. Does it really matter just how many are dead or what any of the details are? --NY Post editor
|
| Tue April 16, 2013 |
| |
|
Shave and a haircut. Don't blink
|
| |
|
Finding out your husband has a 2nd wife - sucks. Finding out on Facebook - really sucks
|
| |
|
A two-year independent commission has concluded that, yes, people were tortured by the US government in the years following 9/11, and that "top officials" are responsible
|
| |
|
Tongues, tats, and twits. It must be this week's edition of the Mug Shot Roundup
|
| |
|
Former hooker builds career by counseling cheated wives, telling them the exact same thing their husbands have been telling them for years
|
| |
|
Customer: "Hi, I'm looking for a Bible for my mother but I'm not quite sure who the author is"
|
| |
|
Hideous pictures of a time during the 1970s when there was no hope for the human race
|
| |
|
Pat Buchanan calls for all true Americans and lovers of freedom to unite in a new era of civil disobedience to combat the great travesty of gay rights sweeping the nation
|
 |
|
Leave bad feedback on eBay? That's a suing
|
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop these confused Russian schoolchildren
|
| |
|
Letter sent to US Senator tests positive for ricin
|
| |
|
NYC man convicted of stealing $376,000 worth of toner, or about four HP printer cartridges
|
| |
|
Teachers file federal lawsuit against state over latest move to tie their performance evaluations to test scores of students not in their classes, outside grade levels taught, who go to other schools. Sounds like my last job evaluation
|
 |
|
"Hi. Since we share a driveway, I thought I would be considerate and ask if you want to move your car while it is sealed". "I am going to plow all three of you., I am going to get my AK next"
|
| |
|
Photoshop this policeman and pig
|
| |
|
Need to have your faith in humanity restored? Here's 15 acts of kindness seen during the Boston bombings
|
| |
|
Area Man Growing A Little Tired Of Rushing Home To Hug Loved Ones
|
| |
|
Boston Marathon bombing newslink thread 2 - feel free to post links to live news updates here (LGT previous thread)
|
 |
|
Woman buys Kalamazoo home for $3,200. Woman files claim against city because they failed to disclose that there's lead paint in the house. Profit: $115K
|
| |
|
Officials to public: Send photos, video from Boston Marathon bombings. "There has to be hundreds, if not thousands, of photographs, videos and other observations that were made down at that finish line yesterday"
|
 |
|
Woman charged with causing over $300 in damage to the contents of a Walmart, being disorderly, and channelling Lady Godiva
|
| |
|
Did you hear the one about the guy who sent his tax preparer a check made out to Frederick's of Hollywood? Neither did his wife
|
| |
|
Sign of the End Times #61872: The most popular porn star in the world right now is a Sarah Palin look-a-like
|
 |
|
The National Post has compiled a tally of every conventional weapon in North Korea's arsenal... including the biplanes
|
 |
|
Things are so uptight these days a carny can't spank little girls on rides anymore
|
| |
|
Bostonian and noted author Dennis Lehane shares his thoughts on yesterday's tragic bombing: "Any 'cause' which kills kids is a pestilence"
|
 |
|
Squirrel knocks out power to three schools. Thanks, Drew
|
 |
|
Remember the glory days of men and women hanging off airplanes, risking life and limb to thrill a few farmers and townsfolk? Me neither, but here's what it was like
|
 |
|
Meet the Drones: Dragonfly, the cute one; Hummingbird, the shy one; Roachbot, the funny one; and Switchblade, the bad boy
|
| |
|
Man resigns in epic fashion
|
 |
|
Two brothers file discrimination lawsuit for being required to do what everyone else does
|
 |
|
If you intend to carjack a Porsche, it would probably be a good idea to know how to drive a car with a stick shift. Just sayin'
|
| |
|
NPR hacked by Syrian Electronic Army, which is a great name for an 80s New Wave revival band
|
| |
|
Dozens feared dead in earthquake near Iran/Pakistan border
|
| |
|
A guide on how to Tweet during a crisis without being a partisan douchebag
|
 |
|
What most women do before a first date is not nearly as sexy as you were just thinking
|
| |
|
Photoshop this curious class
|
 |
|
And then God and Drew invented the Obvious tag
|
| |
|
English and math tests that NY students will take this week and next will be harder than before and scores will drop. Some parents are planning to boycott them (link fixed)
|
 |
|
Jezebel thinks men should wear makeup, it makes them look beautiful. Because, Patriarchy
|
 |
|
North Korea announces new secret weapon: Peter Gabriel
|
| |
|
Bashir orders South Sudan's borders open. O'Brien and Odo think it's a stupid idea while Quark plans to use this as an opportunity to smuggle goods through
|
| |
|
__@/ __@/ __@/ __@/ __@/ __@/ __@/ __@/ __@/ __@/
|
 |
|
Can you pass this grammar test?
|
| |
|
Woman laments the fact her husband won't take her pleas for a threesome with another woman seriously
|
 |
|
Selfless man doesn't tell girlfriend he was HIV positive because he "didn't want to ruin her life"
|
 |
|
US Marine CH-53 helicopter crashes near North Korean border. Crew survives, reportedly knew they'd crashed on the correct side of the border when they're weren't eaten alive by North Korean peasants
|
 |
|
Remember when your dad decided to finally teach you to drive? In the trailer park? Were you 11? Did you hit another car? Did he tell you to run home? Did he then drive away while drunk and wind up getting arrested?
|
 |
|
Boston residents offer up their homes to those who might need them
|
| |
