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Sun April 07, 2013
(Army Times)
 
 
 
Can a chaplain be a "bad ass?" Because this one who will receive the Medal Of Honor 62 years after his death sure sounds like it
source: armytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
Hikers call 911 for a rescue team after encountering a small stream and being afraid of getting their electronics wet
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Hot off the grillz, it's this week's eye opening edition of the Mug Shot Roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you don't know the difference between a toy poodle and a ferret on steroids then you probably deserve to get ripped off
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Not to scale
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deslidefied)
 
 
 
The 50 fattiest foods from across the country deslidefied for your drooling pleasure. Now if you'll excuse me I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes
source: deslide.clusterfake.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Outside of a dog, $500 is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, you have to follow him around and pick what's left of the money out of his poop, piece it back together, then gross out various bank tellers while trying to get fresh bills
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Former cocaine kingpin goes from pushing white powder to pushing health and wellness tips
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Proving they are one step away from the Westboro Baptist Church, anonymous celebrates Holocaust Memorial Day by hacking Israeli websites and replacing them with pro-terrorist and anti-semitic propaganda
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
FTA "Police say the women wore short black dresses with high heels and no pantyhose."...likely worked as teachers.....the male 19 year old sexual assault victim is still recovering
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
New York City will use payphones in the latest attempt to create a time machine
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
More than 700 educators from one particular state decided to better themselves this weekend. Did they do it by a.) Taking advanced math classes, b.) Researching teaching methods utilized in Europe, or c.) Attending a free gun class? Hint: Texas
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Ceiling Cat is watching you go nuts
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
If a stranger in a back alley tries to sell you 27 cows, no questions asked, please contact the Wapello County sheriff's office
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Walmart worker finds an envelope left in a cart containing $20,000. Quickly does the right thing ... and returns the money to the person who left it there
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Why do we laugh at North Korea but fear Iran? Is it because Kim Jong-Un looks like Moe Howard mated with an Oompa Loompa and Mahmoud Ahmacrazyman looks like Christoph Waltz?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Time Magazine wants to answer questions internet uses have about online etiquette. Perhaps we could send a few their way
source: entertainment.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Experts believe a water shortage could be due to people watering their lawns, but they don't know for certain
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
World Fark Party III - New Orleans, Louisiana: April 5 - April 7
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hawaii News Now)
 
 
 
Island lion cubs / finally get their own names / and their own haikus? (Pic)
source: hawaiinewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ok, we cancelled this one, but how many ICBMs does the US launch off the coast of California anyway?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
I said.... THiS IS WHAT HEARING LOSS SOUNDS LIKE
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
T206 Honus Wagner baseball card sells for $2.1 million. Your 1983 Topps #55 Mookie Wilson card is still only worth $0.39
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Best Korean Bassist
source: farm7.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
North Pole man acquitted of kidnapping. So that's what Santa does in the off-season
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Orangutans cling to the last tree in the forest as bulldozers plow down their home. Damned dirty humans
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(StumbleUpon)
 
 
 
The world's 20 most beautiful living spaces that nobody can afford to actually live in
source: stumbleupon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Trying to get word out that there's been an Exxon oil pipeline spill? That's an arrestin'
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO-TV Dayton)
 
 
 
Not news: School bans kindergartener from class. FARK: because his mohawk haircut is too distracting
source: whiotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Video of a flaming Lamborghini Miura SV is the saddest thing you'll see today
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Americans hold about $1 trillion in student loans, and the debt burden is only getting heavier, and few students are asking questions about what type of loans--if any--they should take
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Meet the doctor who can revive heart attack patients who have been dead for hours
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOAI San Antonio)
 
 
 
What middle school teacher hasn't wanted to tie up a rambunctious sixth grader?
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Love concierge specializes in turning successful Silicon Valley geeks into sexy Silicon Valley studmuffins. mostly by telling them Weird Science was just a movie and that they should spend $20K and up on better wardrobe and bleached teeth
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(She's your daughter you retards)
 
 
 
Parents of the year put their 16 year old daughter up for adoption after learning she is gay. Too bad she couldn't have gotten away from them earlier
source: tysonbowersiii.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Just got arrested for sending texts to a cop asking him if he wants to buy drugs? Turn that frown in your mugshot upside down
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat April 06, 2013
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Pastor Rick Warren's son no longer living a purpose driven life
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
So many news organizations kiss Fark's ass, but only HuffPost Weird News plies Farkers with beer and Rum (w/ World Fark Party III slideshow)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Troopers found several items destroyed inside the office and the word "surcharge" written in feces on the wall of the lobby, the affidavit said
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
Those movie casting flyers around the grade school looking for "fun, open minded people with a nice look," might not be legit
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
The crime spree ended near a local elementary school with a simple, spray painted message that said "sorry"
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this helpful hombre
source: bbalms.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
After careful analysis of mass shootings, police advise that members of the public who find themselves in the midst of one should "run away, hide, or fight back." This report was delivered by police spokesmen Capt. Obvious and Detective N.S. Sherlock
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
Whoever wrote this list of 10 ways to cure boredom at work, was so bored that they missed, "Just do your farking job or you're fired"
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Arm yourself, it's 'International Pillow Fight Day'
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Homeless guy who shares the same name as an apartment building owner continually tries to take ownership of it. Fark: He successfully got out of jail by using it as collateral. Bonus: His day job is being a blind street photographer
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
News: People arrested at a protest. FARK: They were arrested for protesting a bylaw which requires protesters to submit a route prior to the start of the demonstration. Irony: They didn't submit a route
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Turns out, the best way to convince people to get the MMR vaccine is an old-fashioned measles outbreak
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Paris is going to cut its grass by putting sheep in charge, expected to be very ewes-ful
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Battle Over Top Speed: Since 2010, the Bugatti Veyron Super Sport "World Record Edition" has held the mantle as the fastest production car in the world, but Hennessey Performance of Texas says not so fast
source: autos.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Cats may have catnip, but dogs get medical marijuana
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Hairy Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Historical people in modern jobs. LGT inspiration
source: freakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Pork found in Ikea's møøse lasagna. In other news Ikea now sells møøse lasagna
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Sheriff lands in the middle of pastry brouhaha, bringing unkneaded controversy to one Iowa town
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Mexicans fined in Canada for trying to export: A) Guns, B) Drugs, C) Polar bears?
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
He's seven. His mom has Lou Gehrig's Disease. He thought up a fundraiser for her, and his aunt and several volunteers are making it happen. The dust is strong with this one
source: bristol-warren.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. A journey into a wondrous land of imagination. Next stop, the Bikini Photo Op
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Yes we all agree that topless feminists are great but its time to talk about the real revolution, the Topless Beer Can Revolution
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wanna bet how long Intrade will be around?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Who has the best sex in America? Let's start this with "NOT Subby" :(
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Transgender high school student wins right to wear dress to prom. No word on whether it will be an original Wang
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Police departments receive training in dealing with 'sovereign citizens'. Regicide?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WABI Bangor)
 
 
 
When you operate a medical marijuana dispensary you expect protesters. But when the protesters are marijuana patients and caregivers you may want to rethink your business strategies
source: wabi.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
When you're dancing naked in the middle of the street at 8:00 AM because you crashed your car after smoking a mix marijuana and embalming fluid, it's time to do some soul searching
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kaiser Family Foundation)
 
 
 
English pub carved from flaming wrecks of 1588 Spanish Armada, which survived the firebombs of the Nazis, ordered to paint over woodwork in case it catches fire. Beer will still be warm
source: thisisplymouth.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Headline News TV)
 
 
 
You don't have to wear a wedding ring to prove to your spouse that you're committed...but pawning it to pay for a hooker might cause some trouble at home
source: hlntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Take Part)
 
 
 
Seattle to build nation's first food forest. Finally, a place where you can make your own trailmix by hand
source: takepart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Millions of underground bugs with orange legs, red eyes, and clear wings with orange veins, that have been sucking fluids from tree roots, are about to burst from the earth in the biggest inundation of Magicicada septendecim since Brood X
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these waste watchers
source: ainsmag.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Dogs Wearing Pantyhose is newest meme in China right now and OH GOD MY EYES (w/pics)
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Lazarus, the "vampire" kitty with a cleft palate, is in training right now to become a therapy pet. Hopefully he will be out in time for Caturday to bite you with love
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
God threatens to kill President Obama and the entire Lee County Sheriff's Department
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Georgia man attempts to make bacon. Fresh bacon. Really, really fresh bacon. Bonus: In front of children
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Cracking your knuckles can't give you arthritis, but it sure as hell can annoy the hell out of everyone around you
source: healthyliving.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Deal reached in Trayvon Martin case
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Women love their dogs more than they love their men. Those biatches
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
A last ride in a 1941 Packard for a man who loved cars
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri April 05, 2013
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
If you want to study an asteroid, all you need to do is lasso one with a robotic spaceship. This according to a US Senator
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How to put a Russian billionaire's nose out of joint? Build a bigger super-yacht
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Finance)
 
 
 
Maryland town begins taxing rainwater. Residents wonder what precipitated the decision
source: dailyfinance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Robynn Fried was two weeks away from being homeless when she heard a knock at the door, that's when a 14-year-old boy selling newspapers helped turn her life around
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these brussels sprouts
source: sidoxia.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"She had been starving after spending two weeks in the wild when she devised an innovative way to catch fish using her private parts as bait and then trapping her meal between her legs"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Please don't use a normal dishwasher to clean your gynecological instruments. Even if it leaves them spot-free
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
How friendly is the relationship between China and Best Korea right now? Well, when Chinese officials refer to Kim Jong-Un as "Fatty Kim" or "Fatty The Third", what does that tell you?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Parental oversharing is a social-media nightmare, and one woman has declared war on cuteness
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Fusion? Really? C'mon guys. All you need is a little dilithium and a tippling Scotsman in a red shirt
source: cosmiclog.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Journalist and filmmaker who immersed himself in homelessness for story research strays just a little too far into method-acting territory
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The awesomeness of being a firefighter: cooking chili with the boys, the cool dalmatian, washing the fire engine, getting paid to work out, sliding down the pole, sending emails of penis-shaped pasta to co-workers
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
When parking your car always watch that last ramp in the parking garage, it could be a doozy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
A photo captures the awe inspiring terror induced by the rare Tigerador. Be afraid, be VERY afraid
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these New Yorkers going for a ride
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
English major accepts reality, inquires if thou dost desire a portion of a potato-based comestible of substantial magnitude with thine meal
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Express & Star)
 
 
 
Meals on bricks
source: expressandstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The food in your freezer might kill you. Film at 11
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, and that means it's time for the Weird News Quiz. Also time for drunken shenanigans on Bourbon Street, but that's a different story altogether
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Brooklyn judge slaps Birther with $177,000 fine for being an idiot
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: There's a new Apple-killer about to hit the market. No, I'm serious
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Old and busted lottery winner: I'm not going to quit my job. New and hot lottery winner: I'm going to stay homeless, I like my tent
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Rare turtle species, driven to extinction by human activity, suffers even more by being driven to having never existed in the first place
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Please note: If you request time off for the deaths of your parents, uncle, aunt, brother and ex-husband, you're either going to be fired for lying, or for being bad luck to be around
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
An interview with Haiti's hottie tourism Minister. Yes, I'll say that again: Haiti has a Minister of Tourism
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Are you ready to panic? Bird flu has already killed 6 people in China. SIX PEOPLE. Quick, everybody get vaccinated again
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
South Korea deploys warships to track North Korean missiles if launched, possibly by following the trail of debris floating in the ocean
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Passenger takes care of security problem instead of TSA. The current score appears to be: Passengers - 3, TSA - 0
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Leesburg Today)
 
 
 
Guns are welcome on the premises. Please keep all firearms holstered unless the need arises. In such case, judicious marksmanship is greatly appreciated by all. Enjoy your meal
source: leesburgtoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
For what it's worth, switchblades are about to be legalized in Kansas. Abortion, Sunday liquor sales, medical marijuana and the study of evolution still waiting
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Officer: "I'm going to let you off with a warning this time. Oh, also, here's your pot back"
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJNO)
 
 
 
If you want to help feed the poor in Miami, you have to have the proper permits...even if you're a nun
source: wjno.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
When Fidel Castro tells you to knock it off you've officially pissed off everyone in the world
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Photoshop what might happen at this year's World Fark Party
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Man who police described as "most notorious child porn downloader they've taken into custody" looks exactly the way you think he does
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A federal judge in Brooklyn has ordered the FDA to make the morning-after birth control pill available over the counter to people of any age without a prescription. Some people are sure to have a problem with this
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scouting NY)
 
 
 
Cool and Scary tags hold on to Sad while touring this abandoned Masonic Retirement home hidden just outside of NYC
source: scoutingny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Hey, let's go to the great Philadelphia Pong meet
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Cooling system at Fukushima nuclear plant fails for the second time in a week after workers fark it up trying to keep rats from eating it. D'oh
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You may think you've heard of tough battles, but try 11 Victoria Crosses awarded to members of 150 man force. Oh, and a forgotten man of that force has now been found
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this unopened poppy, bud
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Kim Jong-Un: A mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a windtalker wrapped in Scooby-Doo episode wrapped in bacon
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Rare twin ponies born on Easter Sunday. No word on whether one was a unicorn and one was a Pegasus
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Concord Monitor)
 
 
 
Police Chief resigns to devote more time to his newfound interest in "fine art" photography of college students, rather than face charges
source: concordmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
This changes everything: KFC to go boneless
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Global News (Canada))
 
 
 
Drunk, naked and peeing on the front door of the police station is no way to get a room for the night, son. Oh wait, yes it is
source: globalnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fairbanks Daily Newsminer)
 
 
 
Freedom is truly on the wane in this country: Alaska town considers banning public defecation
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
The folks at national pretzel sellers Auntie Anne's want their customers to know that an incident last week involving an employee who flung nacho cheese at some customers was not part of the chain's 'pretzel perfect' experience
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
After being robbed and shot at, and the attackers scamper off to their pick-up truck to flee, do you A) call 911, B) thank the good Lord that you are alive, or C) jump into the bed of the truck as it drives off to try to retrieve your purse?
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
School inadvertently teaches kids how capitalism works in the real world. Now everyone is pissed off about it
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"Son, stay in the car while I go pistol-whip that woman. Shouldn't take more than fifteen minutes"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Doggers: People who have sex with strangers in public while others watch, The Sun is there (w/pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Dementia called costliest illness after pancakes, clean cheese, and picnic apes says Socko the Happy-Turtle
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Six things you need to know about the Arkansas oil spill
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This may come as a shock to some of you, but the Church of Scientology ran a sham drug treatment center to recruit members and scam people out of money
source: rockcenter.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Know your cuts of meat? Think again
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu April 04, 2013
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
If you've cut millions in benefits and services to the disabled because you claim the system is "broken" and abused by "scroungers", you probably shouldn't let your chauffeur park your £50,000 land rover in a disabled parking space
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Majority of Americans: "Legalize it"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WATE Knoxville)
 
 
 
Now THIS is a face of meth
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Thirty-five years ago, a hiker stumbled upon a plane crash in the mountains of Montana, with no evidence of survivors at the scene. Now, the crash seems to live only in its discoverer's memory, as not even the NTSB has any record of it ever occurring
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Indian man has axe to grind, takes it out on 5 girls and 4 women
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
CDC to prepare bird flu vaccine, Just. In. Case
source: vitals.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man in a pan
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
World's best dad pushes his disabled son through more than 1,100 endurance events, gets his own statue. Bonus: They've never finished last
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby river otter gets a none-too-gentle swimming lesson from Mom
source: oregonzoo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
$4,500 in cash ✓ Marijuana ✓ Xanax ✓ Oxycodone ✓ Toddler ✓ Double Texting ✓
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Latest from entitled, butthurt, college-rejected high schooler whose open letter was posted by the Wall Street Journal: "It's a satire"
source: todaynews.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
Your homeowners' association can probably kick you out for smoking pot. Start stocking up on incense now
source: blogs.westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
So you know that phrase where someone says, "I'm going to shove my foot up your @$$"? Yeah, about that
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Norway forced to cancel class testing due to: A) Teacher's strike; B) Controversy surrounding the content of the exams; or C) Justin Bieber is playing a concert
source: music-mix.ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Georgia: Hey Tennessee, mind if we move our border a bit and take your river water? Tennessee: You can have our whiskey, but you ain't getting any of that water
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
You can tell Spring has arrived in Indiana because the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and the locals keep getting arrested for wearing little to no-clothing. "So what if they saw my (breasts)?"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Imagine having this family for inlaws: a Google Senior VP, a Stanford Physics Professor, a UCSF Pediatrics Professor, a Time Magazine "Invention of the Year" founder, and an award-winning teacher. But one son-in-law is doing ok--he co-founded Google
source: paloalto.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bather and big bunny head
source: cdn4.spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Apple Insider)
 
 
 
U.S. Drug Enforcement Agency openly frustrated that they cannot crack Apple's iMessage encryption to listen in on suspects
source: appleinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
NewsFlash
 
Two thumbs down
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'I resented the time my children consumed. Like parasites, they took from me and didn't give back`
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Scooter companies may be swindling the nation's seniors. Those rascals
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Four officers responsible for sinking that US Navy minesweeper have been "reassigned pending investigation." Any predictions on what Aleutian island they're going to be sent to?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one before: A stolen goat walks into a bar in Butte
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Worst. Treehouse. Ever... is actually pretty cool
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There is unrest in the forest, There is trouble with the trees, For the maples want some respite, From the farking syrup thieves
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ICIJ)
 
 
 
Someone just leaked to investigative journalists 260 gigabytes of data containing 30 years worth of records for over 100,000 offshore shell companies and trusts in 186 countries linked to some of the world's most powerful people. Let the games begin
source: icij.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
"Paramedics cut a hole in the fence to get [him] down. He was taken to a local hospital with the spike still in his leg. [He] said he regrets hopping the fence and won't take shortcuts home anymore"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Remember the school shooting in 2010 at Hastings Middle School in Minnesota that left six students dead? Me either. But if you do, the National Rifle Association would REALLY like you to corroborate the story they apparently pulled out of their ass
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Anonymous hacks Best Korea's silly Flickr and Twitter accounts, makes them sillier
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AccuWeather)
 
 
 
The National Weather Service, annoyed by The Weather Channel's naming of lesser storms, is broadening the definitions of "hurricane" and "tropical storm". The Weather Channel to start naming individual clouds
source: accuweather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Nothing to see here. Move along. FAA puts no-fly zone over Arkansas oil spill
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Why you should hold onto your grudges. You hear that, modmins? Those were some awesome headlines of mine you redlit this morning, you bastards
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
Martin Luther King, Jr's last 32 hours
source: media.commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for the murder of a man on I-Drive. If only he'd hidden behind a partition
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grind TV)
 
 
 
♫Fish, fish, fish eat fish. Fish, fish, fish eat fish. Fish, fish, fish eat fish♫
source: grindtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Massachusetts pot regulators welcome Big Weed
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Have you ever wished to stash away money in your own off-shore account to avoid taxes? Now you can with this interactive explanation of how it all works
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"Thanks for these spiffy NYPD police uniforms Officer Jose, they sure do make us do some fine 'police work'"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
America's "hookup culture" isn't a problem, and the reason people aren't having as much promiscuous sex they'd like is because rejection is a big part of romance, especially when you're ugly
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Mexican restaurant replies to dissatisfied customer on Facebook: "I thought fat people were supposed to be jolly"
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Fast food employees have secretly planned a surprise strike that could halt operations at more than fifty chain restaurants across the US, and said strike is scheduled for today
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
The pizzaburger has landed IN CANADA
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Maryland becomes first state in the union to pass gun control law mandating fingerprint checks for buyers, magazine and assault weapon bans, and purchasing restrictions based on mental health
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
God makes himself known -- on a Goldfish cracker
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Make your 50th bust in same city special: Man accused of swiping $1,000 of eatery's booze, found handing out shots at nearby park
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Hey, kid. You ever wanted to be a puppeteer?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Farking lasers, what CAN'T they do
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Trooper directing traffic at DUI stop is hit by large truck, flies through the air, lands, gets up, and oh, she mad
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Senator Rockefeller to Carnival Cruise Lines: The Coast Guard spent $4.2 million responding and rescuing you 90 times over five years. When will you pay up? Carnival: Never. It's a "maritime honor" to rescue distressed ships
source: skift.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Despite the intense competition, this kid is easily the worst teenager on Instagram
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
It's easy to remember 'principle' vs. 'principal' - the principal of your school is your pal. Especially if she has sex with you and two of your friends
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Scientists create drug that "has killed every kind of cancer tumor it has come in contact with". Still no cure for.....um, hold that thought
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colorful characters
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
How exactly do you steal 6 MILES of copper wire, and nobody notice?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Bristol)
 
 
 
Forget drink or drugs. This dude was banned for driving "under the influence of drum and bass"
source: thisisbristol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware County Daily Times)
 
 
 
Woman files insurance claim for expensive items stolen from her car. Pro Tip: When providing store receipts to the cops, make sure the business is open on the dates specified. Bonus: This is not Florida
source: delcotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northern Territory News)
 
 
 
One naked man, some floating logs, a river full of crocodiles and a bet, what could possibly go wrong? (Image might be Not Safe For Work if you work in a really uptight office)
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Are you bald? Congratulations, you're gonna have a heart attack. Probably from seeing a small Wookie worth of hair in the drain every morning
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you get a call from police saying the rental car you are driving has been reported stolen, stop driving it. Immediately
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Seven Cuban ballet dancers defect while on tour in Mexico. No Bolshoi
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoBlog)
 
 
 
Notes from drivers education class in 1969
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today I Found Out)
 
 
 
Turns out Scotty was shot six times while storming Juno beach on D-Day. Sniper Mr. Rogers is impressed
source: todayifoundout.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Some Guy: "I calculate that my cash-on-hand falls well below the $10,000 threshold." Border Gestapo: :: Clikka-clikka :: "Nope. Sorry, Citizen. We are, however, grateful for the much-needed boost to Stephen Harper's Sweater Vest Fund"
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Rules of good nutrition that absolutely everybody agrees on
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Trenton, NJ city councilwoman finds out the hard way the "blue waffle" internet meme. WARNING: DO NOT GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH THIS AT WORK OR IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMILY OR AT ALL FOR THAT MATTER FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Good news frequent flyers - modern airplanes have a crumple zone that absorbs the impact in a plane crash. Bad news wealthy frequent flyers - it's called "first class"
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
From the you're not helping file: US Embassy in Egypt tweets Jon Stewart's rant about Egypt, causes diplomatic incident
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
After being targeted by bullies and attacked with a tennis racket, 18-year-old woman loses nearly half her body weight, is now totally smoking hot and hittable. Take THAT bullies (w/before and after pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Business offers window washing, pressure washing and gutter cleaning by men dressed in kilts. Things are definitely looking up
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
A hot shave can be very relaxing, if you don't try heating the shaving cream can on the stove
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 413: "Ghost Towns". Details and rules in first post. LGT cache with next week's theme
source: webcache.googleusercontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed April 03, 2013
(Metro)
 
 
 
Say, remember when we discovered those venomous tarantulas as big as your face? Good times
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Food scientists successfully crossbreed glazed donuts with Egg McMuffins
source: bites.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Fort Knox in lockdown after shooting. Authorities on the lookout for a gold obsessed German, a burly Korean in a bowler and, as always, Pussy Galore
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Do you recall Macon, GA's first integrated prom? I can't believe it... Hasn't happened yet
source: cbsatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just so you know, if you duct tape a little boy and hang him by his ankles then force him to sit in his soiled clothes, your day care center is going to be shut down
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
I know why the caged bird shoots
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Man behaves pretty much the way his mugshot would lead you to expect
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Some spineless brute with a knife stabs his childhood pal leaving him paralyzed. Saudi Arabian court decides to go the "eye for an eye" route
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
If you buy a regular-sized gray dress at Target, it's called "heather gray." If you buy the plus-sized version, it's called "manatee gray." Hmmm
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Best Leader has final approval to launch nukes
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Sydney Super Sliders
source: media3.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
FARK lends support for the rally to demonstrate reforming the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, to be held on April 13 in Boston's Dewey Square Park. (7th paragraph)
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man, I'm tired of my job as a legal advisor. I think I'll go outside, hang around this building, and take pictures of myself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Spudzooka used to launch potatoes, damage property, make fries
source: caldwells.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yonhap News (Korea))
 
 
 
North Korea vows military actions against the US, and they really mean it this time. Why are you all laughing? They really do
source: english.yonhapnews.co.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRG Mobile)
 
 
 
Carnival Triumph breaks loose from dock, is drifting, and has a hole in the stern. This story is not a repeat, but the event is
source: wkrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"And this is us here with Hitler by the Eiffel Tower"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pro-union person
source: media1.s-nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITV)
 
 
 
Beeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaannnnnsssss
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Vidal Sassoon's final heir cut, FBI searches for missing Brown student-finally, and Bud Light goes after those who like it in the can: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/24 - 3/30
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Apparently this bears repeating: If you're going to rob, decapitate and dump the body of a famous celebrity, DO NOT get in a car crash on the way to her house. If you do, get rid of the detailed written instructions of your well-thought-out plan
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Gawker issues a brutal takedown of the entitled, butthurt, college-rejected high schooler who got her open letter published by the Wall Street Journal
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Florida Family Policy Council says gay scoutmasters won't be molesting boy scouts, but boy scouts will be molesting each other, if the ban against gays is lifted
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
If you tow a car away from an accident site, you might want to make sure there are no dead bodies in the driver's seat. Isn't that right officer?
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kerry on wayward Un
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
"one such mistake resulted in 18 patients at St. Charles Medical Center in Bend receiving colonoscopies with equipment that was not disinfected"
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald-Citizen)
 
 
 
If you're going to call 911 about someone screaming for help, you might want to make sure it's not just a goat tied to a fence
source: herald-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Why you probably suck at sex
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you're a spy and the Nazis capture you, all you have to do is slip your handcuffs, escape your cell and trek 200 miles through snow while 900 enemy soldiers chase you. And swing from tree to tree to avoid leaving footprints. Easy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dear Abby, my girlfriend has huge implants and walks around the house topless all the time. I find it a turn off. Do I have a penis?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CF News 13)
 
 
 
Dispatcher: 911, what is your emergency? Caller: My phone won't call out. It says emergency numbers only
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
"Molten lava of 1,000 degrees Celsius? Oh sure, I'll kayak next to that"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Spanish princess to testify to whether or not her husband misused public funds. Isn't that the point of a Monarchy?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
Store owner is arrested for using food stamps to purchase inventory
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Boston Globe reporter goes undercover as taxi driver and wrecks cab. The Boston Herald is there
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman forged prescriptions ordered for her dead dog in order to get better drugs for herself
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
You could live in a tree house year-round. Or you could crash in a human-sized bird's nest made out of sustainably harvested wood
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Let's celebrate remarkable women, with a photo of three white guys
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Sting balls quell LA jail riot, Trudie Styler
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Guinea pigs aren't just popping up in cages in suburbia; no, they're starting to appear on dinner plates too
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Krispy Kreme gives engaged couple a THOUSAND donuts. This will not end well
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CF News 13)
 
 
 
When your twin boys are fighting with machetes and frying pans it's best to not interfere
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Prosecutor heading up the case against an Aryan hate group in Texas resigns over security reasons, sends letter to every member of the defense so their clients don't kill him like they killed the two other prosecutors
source: livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
If you are approached by a drunk man giving away free cake from the cake boss, while hundreds are lined up to buy them a block away, remember: The Cake Is a lie
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two prisoners escape Texas jail, should be considered armed and pantsless. Repeat, pantsless
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C & G News)
 
 
 
In the world you have your Dina Lohans and your Kris Jenners, and then you have these kind of parents
source: candgnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Before you squirt pepper spray into the face of the teenager you say molested you as you walked to your apartment, first make sure it's not a case of mistaken identity
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Kim Jung Un is not crazy. He might just be worried about a coup
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
US [battling | supporting] [insurgent | freedom] fighters being trained in safe havens across the border from [Afghanistan | Syria]
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
The Wall Street Journal goes full Onion as it publishes an open letter from a high school senior to all the colleges who rejected her application
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The ring that inspired the Tolkien's One Ring goes on display amid high security because it's precious
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Publisher's Weekly has named Square Books in Oxford, Mississippi, as the Bookstore of the Year. What do you bet they have a cat?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Dolt)
 
 
 
"If you call any other Christian on this page a 'bibliophile' I will ban you." -Best-selling author and creationist Ray Comfort. To be fair, he thought it meant "a cross between a pedophile and the Bible"
source: thedailydolt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cruise ship couple
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
If you're worried that China will eventually take over the world, relax. They're not going to make it through THE AIRPOCALYPSE
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Florida man discovers that moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Pat Robertson complains that Americans have gotten too educated to be fooled by God's pranks
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Arbeit macht fry
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Legal pot sellers realize they have to pay taxes to the government for their drugs, realize they can't afford it
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Why waste time stealing mail from a household mailbox when you can save time by stealing the entire post office drop box?
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
Online Dating Horror Story 1,043; San Dimas guy tries to impress chick on their first date by crashing into car ahead of them & attacking the driver...who bearhugs guy, then lets him go
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Serial rapist with violent behavior and moderately high risk of reoffending to be released to halfway house after serving 2/3 of 37 year sentence. What could possibly go wrong?
source: atlantic.ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue April 02, 2013
(BBC)
 
 
 
North Korea has shut down the Kaesong complex
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
For the same price of a measly one-bedroom London flat you can have this historic 21-bedroom mansion in the countryside
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Inexperienced kayaker calls 911 to help stranded friend. 911 dispatcher calls her own mom to the rescue
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Gazette)
 
 
 
If you're appearing in court to plead guilty to DUI, do you: (a) drive to court on a suspended license, (b) park in a judge's reserved parking space, or (c) both?
source: news-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
City of LA: "How about bright green bike lanes downtown for improved bicyclist safety?" Location scouts: "How about no?"
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
NJ man arrested for stealing $117,108 worth of perfume. That makes a lot of scents
source: holmdel-hazlet.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Launder billions in drug money? That's a slap on the wrist. But messing with standardized testing? That's a jailing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ensemble Magazine)
 
 
 
Historical paintings of women updated to represent today's standard of beauty. Still below studman69's standard (Artistic nudity)
source: nsmbl.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not news: Shots fired at U.S. Border Patrol agents. News: In Washington State. Fark: One suspect escaped INTO Canada
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fellow on a stick
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Patience, young grasshopper is how you make a perfect replica of yourself
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ron Jeremy checked with his doctor, is healthy enough to engage in sexual activity
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
"The man was fired last month after bringing a dead bird to work and claiming it was his mother, according to police"
source: fortstewart.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man loses over 150lbs in order to meet the woman of his dreams. Himself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Geez ... you guys act like you've never seen a man armed with a semi-automatic weapon riding a bulldozer before
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Dear Prudie: if gays weren't oppressed, my secretly lesbian grandmother wouldn't have gotten married so me and my homophobic siblings wouldn't be here. Should I tell them they're right?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this astro-impersonator
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Second-grader repeatedly suspended over unpleasant smell. School officials have ruled out teen spirit
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Don't like the movie we're showing on United Airlines? Here, let us make an emergency landing and escort you off the plane
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Most nationalistic headline of the day, eh: "Visa spat with Canada settled over a double-double at Tim Hortons in UAE"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
Good Dog: Helps you rescue a young girl from an icy river. Great Dog: Goes back into the frigid water to pull out a second girl
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
"Fox and Friends" guest answers the great theological question that has plagued mystics, holy men, and philosophers for centuries: "what, exactly, does God SMELL like?"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Just a 1,400-word column about two vegans who thought they were overcharged after bringing their own uncooked pasta to a restaurant
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: verbing weirds language. New hotness: nominalizations responsible for language weirdification
source: opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macon Telegraph)
 
 
 
Unable to look himself in the eye, man testifies against his brother
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Married owners of AshleyMadison.com defend their service...well to us they do. Behind each other's backs they are using Craigslist
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Yes I like beer. Yes I like ice cream. Wha-wha-what
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Assault with papayas and a mooning over an unwelcome invitation for sexy time, Or, as it's known in Florida, Tuesday
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Citing that North Korea has gone too far, UN to change font on "Strongly Worded Letter" from Comic Sans to Times New Roman
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ok, Pope made me cry now
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Chicago's murder rate plummets as pool of potential victims dwindles
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Let this be a lesson to all five-month-old babies: if you're just going to lay there and be an accomplice to your mom jumping subway fare, you WILL end up with a face full of pepper spray
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
You had me at "half-naked zombie ex-girlfriend"
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Now that Facebook is now officially the province of your parents, your halfwit cousins, your Teabagger uncle, and a bunch of cat-hoarding fatties, teens are fleeing the network likes rats off a sinking ship
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Immortals fight on holy ground
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kens 5 San Antonio)
 
 
 
Student: YOLO. School: SUSPENDED
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
The flare guns in Walmart work. You don't need to test them in the store
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
Apparently Arianna Huffington parties like a 60's rock star. Just not in the good way
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Mothers brawl during Easter egg hunt, give Seattle police a reason to make bad egg-related puns
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Philadelphia uses mimes and clowns to remind drivers and pedestrians about the dangers of texting, haunt them in their nightmares
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Undertaker gives his wife a private burial in a secluded location. Fark.com: Police are still looking for the body
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Coming soon to a catwalk near you: hagfish slime
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Dear God: We found your golf ball in the water hazard. Sincerely, The U.S. Navy
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Rare Bettie Page pictures to be auctioned off to highest bidder with hairiest palms
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
$390 million for a water slide? Okay, and a penthouse suite too
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
NJ Gov Chris Christie signs bill banning children from using tanning beds, tanning sprays and salad bars
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
"I observed a yellow stream coming out of the defendant's groin area and puddle onto the railing. Two subjects sitting next to the defendant were yelling at the defendant, telling him he 'was disgusting' and 'there were kids in the park.'"
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Waffle House employee calls 911 to report robbery as April Fools joke on coworkers. Police do not pity the fool
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off the ATM"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these shepherds searching for sheep in the snow
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Best Korea is restarting its nuclear reactor to obtain more fuel for nuclear weapons. The way things are going, they may wind up getting some of those materials sooner than they're planning on
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
America's oldest woman dies again at 113
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I know it's right before NOLA, but Drew will be at Stone Brewing in Escondido on 4/2. So, FARK PARTY
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Eighty-year-old woman dies after falling down garbage chute; coroner to perform a compost-mortem
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Not news: People have a problem with their neighbors. News: Because the smell of the pot growing in their is overwhelming. Fark: No government agency, including the Portland Police, will bother to get involved
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Airline introduces a new system for passenger air-fares. Scales
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Grind TV)
 
 
 
Pics from a zoo in Argentina where you can go to get nuzzled by a lion, licked in the face by a brown bear, or you can scratch a tiger's belly. What could possibly go wrong?
source: grindtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The sweetest little puppies you'll see all day
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Scientists develop bacteria that metabolize caffeine into E. coli after studying musicians in Portland and Seattle
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Hooking up with a 16 yr. old girl you met on Facebook to have sex is usually going end being a police sting, or a group of people who are going to kick your ass and rob you. This time it wasn't the police
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you're going to graffiti an 18-story building without proper climbing gear, have a friend watch so your body can be retrieved quickly
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon April 01, 2013
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
"He just goes out to bars and drinks dressed up like a bunny"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangkok Post)
 
 
 
Thailand's engineers one-up the Italians by building a tower that is leaning at 40 degrees...so far
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Obvious: children like brownies and gummy bears. Bad: In Colorado, many of those are filled with THC, increasing the number of children in the ER for pot poisoning since 2009 by infinity
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
I don't have any kids. But I'm a condescending urban douchebag who writes for the New York Times, so I know more about how you should be raising your kids than you do
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boston Market unveils new rib meal, deflects attacks from nutritionists on half-rack that consists of 1100 calories, 74g of fat, 2,670mg of sodium, and 40g of sugars. "It's a new product that will appeal to a wide audience"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Make a more accurate logo for a prominent company
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
My best birthday? When my friends kidnapped me for the surprise party and the police got involved
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
We spend dirty, crumpled money faster because other people have touched it
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
North Korea to USA, "April fool"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCHS Charleston)
 
 
 
Buckwild "star" found dead. No not that one. Not that one either. Yeah, the redneck one
source: wchstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Congress has just a passed a bill protecting genetically modified seeds from litigation for health risks. Photoshop what these lawsuit-free mutant seeds might produce
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
"Here, we test the hypothesis that masturbation, or Firsthand Autonomous Pleasure (FAP), when performed on a daily basis, can directly lead to weight loss"
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slash Gear)
 
 
 
Siri direct me to to the theater. Siri: left at the next block and past CVS where Bounty paper towels are on sale $1 a roll. Grab a roll today. Bounty, the quicker picker upper. Continue down the block and turn right. Theater is on the right
source: slashgear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Not an April Fools' joke: Powerball winner covers rent for his neighborhood
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 45 Dayton)
 
 
 
Ohio man hits bottom again
source: fox45now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you finally get to sleep at 5:00 AM and some jerk starts pounding on your window?
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook