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Sun March 10, 2013
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Spring training fans may have been caught by surprise by the "Bronze Cowboy," who catches people off guard by pretending to be a statue and scaring them once they approach
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Kayaker paddles 4,000 miles starting at Minnesota's Northwest Angle and ending in Key West
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Weasel bites finger during soccer match. Bonus: Yakety Sax
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Woman suing church for refusing to put a headstone with images of a deer, dog, color logos of NASCAR and the Indianapolis Colts on her husband's grave
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Press TV)
 
 
 
Headline: Iran's 24th fleet heading for Malacca Strait, Article: the 24th "fleet" is a destroyer and a helicopter carrier, Reality: the "helicopter carrier" is a secondhand oiler and the "destroyer" is a light frigate the US almost sunk in the 80s
source: presstv.ir   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Hollywood votes to renew its 23-year ban on circuses. In other news, circuses are illegal in Hollywood
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Disabled man on scooter told to get off his scooter and walk by police... Because he was speeding
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this artist surveying his sculpture
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Oh look, little Jimmy is on TV
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Wanting to cross another item off his bucket list a 71-year-old retired teacher decided to learn about jail life firsthand. He didn't think it was too bad; in fact, he said he "had a good time"
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Wanna see a picture of eight stolen schoolbuses shredded into mountain of scrap metal by an unscrupulous junkyard metal dealer? Of course you do
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
One thing feminists agree on, when a woman takes a "selfie" it is empowerful, when a man takes one, it is vanity, repulsive and a sure sign of infidelity and neediness
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Maryland state senator declares zero tolerance for zero tolerance by filing 'Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act'
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Berkshire Eagle)
 
 
 
Is it legal to buy your child a beer in Massachusetts? Nobody is sure
source: berkshireeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Subby guesses this guy doesn't have an HOA
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you ask the 14-year-old girl you met on the internet if she's really a cop and she doesn't answer your question, you probably should not proceed with your plans to have sex with her
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"It was weird at first. I mean, I thought he was just going to kiss my feet. Not put my whole foot in his mouth"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Day)
 
 
 
Wineries now targeting the younger, hipper crowd because of baby boomers tightening their wallets. With helpful pic of a girl apparently tasting wine
source: theday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these hot hoops
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
After 900 dead pigs found floating in Shanghai river, officials state there is no evidence of an animal epidemic. Except, of course, the 900 DEAD PIGS FOUND FLOATING IN THE RIVER
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bubblews)
 
 
 
NASA admits there's only about a 3 day window to find and track asteroids passing close to Earth, like Asteroid 2013 EN, whizzing past the Moon today. Where's Harry Stamper when we need him most?
source: bubblews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Silver-medal relay team member in 1994 Lillehammer games resigns from International Skating Union after being accused of gliding into 15-year-old with his Biggehammer
source: articles.philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Drinking beer and eating fast food is SO last year. 2013 is all about the late-night Justin Bieber haircut
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Here are nine simple tasks nobody can do right in commercials, because it IS that hard to do a sit-up or organize
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
Those government agencies that are against citizens owning guns may find themselves not owning guns thanks to those who make owning guns possible
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Expect heavy use of the Florida tag over the next few days
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Online museum project unearths 'filthy' Van Dyck masterpiece. With a name like Van Dyck, what did they think he liked to paint? Van Dyck
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Netflix tattoo nets one year free service. Subby wonders what a Home Depot tattoo might be worth
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Kentuckites stock up on extra large buckets of popcorn, settle in for two years of political entertainment
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fearsome face
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo kills a man in court
source: laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The Queen supports The Queens
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Former TSA screener testifies to how they are an impenetrable force, not to be messed with. HA....just kidding....he says pretty much what we already know
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Baby boomers are now attacking retirement communities when they're not even retired. When will it end?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Dear Prudence, We caught our landlord having sex with his dog - should we move out? Yes, your landlord just screwed the pooch
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Uncontrollable Urge has Unpredicted Surge with Unavoidable Purge then Unfortunate Dirge
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
"...Warton, a scientist, says she was horrified when she opened a homeschool science textbook and found a picture of Adam and Eve putting a saddle on a dinosaur"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Mexican Tourism Minister travels to ..... the other side
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Not News: Happy couple get married. Fark: She's sixty-one and he's eight (w/pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Illinois lawmaker wants to ban sale of lion meat. in other news, they sell lion meat in Illinois
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Self-taught photographer Mike Brodie rode with America's impoverished youth for thousands of miles on freight trains. Beautiful images provide portrait of curious sub-culture which remains alive a century after it came to prominence
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat March 09, 2013
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Fark: Officer leaving parking ticket on windshield fails to notice dead body in the driver's seat. DumbAsFark: Twice
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Top Gear)
 
 
 
With 624bhp, the new Rolls Royce Wraith is the most powerful Rolls ... in the world. In The World
source: topgear.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Cute 25-year-old art teacher arrested for sex with student, looks really happy about the whole experience (w/mugshot)
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
What do you get when you cross a bridge underpass with a raised dump bed? About halfway
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Four words that should never be uttered after a night of drinking beer and smoking weed: Let's play Russian roulette
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Airline uses cooking oil to fuel transatlantic flights between New York and Amsterdam
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dodgeball dodgers
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
People are shocked to learn that a discount website is ripping them off
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
Asteroid 'size of Adele' is set to skim past Earth today
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Battle Creek Enquirer)
 
 
 
The Battle Creek Bombers "invent" the Twinkie Dog and officially make its national television debut, only one small issue.. this was invented in 1989 by "Weird Al" Yankovic
source: battlecreekenquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
When a surprise exorcism goes real wrong: TN lawyer for the man accused of hosting demons suggests that $3.5 million will help them all walk the path of the righteous
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
Florida man fills his home with 2,000 Barbie dolls
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Novovirus takes another cruise
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Go home 20th century, you were drunk
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
News: Police sergeant causes a stir when he starts lobbying for a pro marijuana group. Fark: He is also a lobbyist for the tea party
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Afghan police officer sacrifices self to save others from suicide bomber. This is what a hero is
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wire Update)
 
 
 
44 children injured by bee swarm in South African park. Nicolas Cage wanted for questioning
source: wireupdate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Bloomberg launches Food Felonies Unit (FFU) to combat food crimes, troll the gullible on the interwebs
source: communities.washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Student's teacher sex fantasies ruined by the reality of having naked photos of her sent to his phone
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So, there happened to be a picture of your daughters taking a bath in the photos you had developed at Walmart? Welcome to the sex offender registry, pervs
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Russian meteorologist
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Women should wear leggings instead of pants, but only if they gave the right grace to pull it off
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware County Daily Times)
 
 
 
Police have concluded that excessive force may have been used regarding an 8 year old boy. Officer has been taken off duty. Bonus: Child is the son of a local politician. Double Bonus: Cop is a dog
source: delcotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duffel Blog)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what is happening with the Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan? Well he's been promoted to Lieutenant Colonel for one thing
source: duffelblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
Duck season. Rabbit season. Duck season. Rabbit season. Duck season. RABBIT SEASON
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Remember to set your clocks forward an hour today, because if you don't you're going to look like the world's most foolish time traveler. San Dimas High School football RULES
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Kinda hot school security assistant accused of allowing 15-year-old to perform cavity searches
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old boy brings cupcakes to school for his birthday, gets in trouble for what he decorated them with. Were the decorations a) giant swastikas, b) pretty pot leaves, or c) little green army men?
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
New report finds the Army needs more shrinks to jump up and down and yell "KILL, KILL" with prospective soldiers
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCPO Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Forget Caturday, dogs don't need a propaganda campaign to prove that they're cool just once a week. This dog shows that by waking up the wife after his owner has a heart attack at 3 am. Bonus: pit bull
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
On the same day the Army announces it is ending tuition assistant for US soldiers because of "budget constraints", we see this
source: cnnradio.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Guess the state: Man texts his estranged wife's male friend nearly 300 times, threatens to kill the man and shoot his children at their bus stop and shoot others who might be there. Difficulty: Not Florida
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Families of those killed by drunken drivers suing the places that served them. New hotness: Drunken driver suing the places that served him, and his drinking buddy, since it's their fault he's in jail
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Book written by 96-year-old woman about her 73 year marriage hits Amazon's bestseller list. Thankfully, she didn't say it was always a happy marriage, or it would have been placed in the fiction section
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Seattle bar bans Google Glass. "And ass kickings will be encouraged for violators"
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Just what you need after a long, hard day: a few relaxing beers...and a room full of cops. Police to make city bar their new home
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
How do you protest anti-abortion demonstrators? With 4-by-6 foot posters of the genitals of female students, of course
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Woe rich white kids, failure haunts them like an ill-willed specter. Bereft of any authentic sense of self they are left vulnerable to the rapacious wolves of expectation and soon find their succor in the alabaster arms of Lady Oxycontin
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Thousands of speeding tickets could be quashed due to speed limit signs using the wrong font. Sign constructors accused of being dingbats
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
London transport chiefs restore old "mind the gap" announcement at one station so widow of actor can hear his voice again
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
68-year-old UNC theoretical particle physicist convicted of muling cocaine from Bolivia thought he was doing it for the love of DDD-bikini model and former SbB girl Denise Milani (link fixed)
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Group discusses their top six picks for BBQ joints in Texas. Fark: This is a perfect excuse for Farkers to discuss their favorite BBQ joints around the world
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Aside from man-eating sinkholes, Burmese pythons, swarming sharks, and tropical storms, what else does Florida have to offer? Oh, yeah, quarter-sized mosquitoes with bites that feel like you're being knifed. Orbital nukes last seen being made ready
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida healthcare staffing company introduces 'Beer Cart Fridays' as way to boost employee morale. Florida tag weeps with joy at finally being used in a positive way
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chippewa Herald)
 
 
 
Protip: When trying to return a printer at Walmart, remember to remove the counterfeit bills from it first
source: chippewa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beach ballerina
source: farm4.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The Wine Rack lets woman boost their cleavage using a bra filled with wine. Brought to you by the makers of "The Beerbelly" for men
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitsap Sun)
 
 
 
Cheers to you, civic leader Bill Austin, the man responsible for convincing city council to erect statues of a viking and an octopus in your town. Cheers to you
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Monroe Monitor)
 
 
 
And this is what Caturday is all about (watch out for the dust, tissues not included)
source: monroemonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Party March 9 at the Spawn Point Gamers' Lounge in San Antonio, TX
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Is ten inches of snow in Flagstaff a sure sign of global warming? Will the pot dispensaries still be open in Denver in a blizzard? Will the Plains get all wet like your Mom? It's your official Winter Storm Triton discussion thread (w/radar of storm)
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Twin Cities Fark Party - Saturday, March 9th - Psycho Suzi's @ 6pm
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOAI San Antonio)
 
 
 
Brain freeze blamed for: a) flunking an exam. b) losing on a game show. c) five car accident
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sad: VA state trooper shot and killed in the line of duty. Not News: Judge appoints attorney for defendant. Fark: defendant to Judge "Y'all are going to execute me anyway. Why would I need an attorney?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
While you were freaking out about gun-carrying South Dakota teachers, this kindergarten teacher was bringing a vial of her own blood to school and letting the kindergartners taste it
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
If you're going to steal an $8,000 coin from a rare coin dealer, make sure you don't return to the shop and try to sell back the coin
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Legendary restaurant Chez Panisse nearly destroyed by locally-grown, cruelty-free, 100% organic fire
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri March 08, 2013
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Hey, congratulations on the birth of your child. Now let's all celebrate by eating something that looks just like a newborn
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The five best countries to live in if you are a woman. Guess who didn't make the list?
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Man charged in home burgMY GOD THOSE EARS
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Today: South Dakota enacts first law allowing teachers to carry guns. Tomorrow: 15 asshole teachers arrested for waving guns at unruly students
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
This suspect's face is "the oddest thing I've ever seen in 20-plus years of law enforcement"
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: Walking into a shoe store barefoot and trying to walk out wearing a new pair of high heels will draw attention -- especially if you're a dude
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Host of "A Rifleman's Journal" TV show shot and killed when local man feels his wife takes too keen an interest in victim's rifle
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tunnel
source: hierzo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Researchers say the earth is getting warmer faster than at any time in the last 11,000 years and that the world was actually rapidly cooling until SOMETHING made the temperatures start to climb in the early 20th century
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Remember that haze of stories from the pages of Fark this week? Hope you haven't blown out that short-term memory completely, because it's time for the Fark Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
The Army just shut down tuition assistance for 201,000 troops. By the way, thanks for serving your country. See you in Korea
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
10 ways to cook with beer. #11 is actually put it in the food
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Stripper asks the question that's on every Farker's mind: 'Why can't women show nipples?' (Cleavage shots)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Who looks more like a real woman? The drag queen on the left or the anti-gay Christian-right leader on the right?
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this monumental monument
source: 3.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politiken)
 
 
 
63 hit by Norovirus at world's best restaurant. A week before the Michelin stars are given. Let's hope the votes are in already
source: politiken.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Las Vegas Review Journal)
 
 
 
If you're a cop, don't drive drunk. And if you do drive drunk, don't do it in an unmarked SWAT car. And if you do drive an unmarked SWAT car, don't let it catch on fire. And if it does catch on fire, don't try to put it out with water bottles
source: lvrj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KABC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Colleges offer laptops to attract students. New hotness: Colleges offer sex-change operations to attract students
source: kabc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
One female reporter discovers that breast feeding in Obama's White House is almost as hard as getting a budget through Congress
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
If you want to stop your truck from being repossessed by trying to drive it off the boom of the repo man's tow truck, don't
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Daughter is tired of seeing her mother date so many losers, sets up Facebook account to help her find a man. I don't think she's thought her cunning plan all the way through
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Dot)
 
 
 
If you wind up in the hospital with a vibrator stuck in your ass, you might as well livetweet it
source: dailydot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greater Greater Washington)
 
 
 
Your local government may be dysfunctional, but at least it's not "We got a fake e-mail 10 years ago, so now the Office of Zoning only accepts handwritten letters" dysfunctional
source: greatergreaterwashington.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
County considers expanding hunting season to address exploding deer population. Dammit PETA, you had to give the deer suicide vests, didn't you?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Bikini baristas busted, arrested as well
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Baltimore tries to change its violent, drunken image - just in time for St. Patrick's Day
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
All hail our new chicken overlord
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
60-year old blonde chick hotter and more popular than ever (w/ eye candy pics)
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
A couple of willing ladies whose names escape you, plenty of booze and your tax refund. What could possibly go wrong?
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science World Report)
 
 
 
Not news: Pills, diet programs and exercise regimens aren't effective at treating obesity. News: So researchers try simply paying people money not to eat. Fark: It works
source: scienceworldreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Plague of locusts has attacked Israel, leaving observant Jews asking themselves if they have offended God, are they kosher. The Torah and Leviticus are divided, rabbis disagree, but foodees say if they are sauteed and honey spiced, they are delicious
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
TSA suffers another buttfumble, lets IED through two layers of screening - but they did catch the agent trying to smuggle a doll with wires sticking out of it and BOMB INSIDE written in three-inch-high letters
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Caught relieving yourself in the street? We'll give you a £60 fine. Not paying your fine? We'll have your Mercedes
source: local.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Inside Japan's Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant two years after the earthquake and tsunami
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
New 3-D pictures of Earth with her pants off. (mildly SFW)
source: science.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The fark Superfecta: get caught reading a pornographic magazine in the women's restroom while smoking a cocaine-laced marijuana cigarette and being accompanied by a small child
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Vatican: 'We want a Pope that is full of charisma and has an incredible grasp of how to manipulate the media for self-promotion.' If they add 'can't throw a football to save his life,' Tim Tebow might have found his next career
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Boater 'missing' for one month figures he should probably call police and tell them he's okay
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 16 Little Rock)
 
 
 
Police suspect arson in fire at puzzle factory. Admit that the pieces are still coming together
source: fox16.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
What're you in for? Oh, gnawing on a woman's head while naked and bloody... and creating a nuisance
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Moms share postpartum daymares. I believe they're called "infants"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Burglars. Why wear a balaclava when robbing a joint, when you can just stick a perfectly good transparent bucket on your head?
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Officers suspended after cop fight in police station gets all tasery
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Your in-laws may suck, but at least they never got you tried as a terrorist mastermind
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
In Soviet Russia, dogs domesticate you
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Rule No.1524314 for disciplining your son: Don't use a stun gun
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
80% of recent NYC high school graduates cannot read. Somehow they're still active on Facebook and Youtube
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Twitter wants to be the new CNN, Facebook wants to be the morning paper, and Drew wants someone to invent a cure for the hangover. Sadly, we all want what we can't have
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Not news: School cancelled due to vandalism. Fark: It was vandalized with the dangerous substance known to terrorism experts as "yarn"
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
White House: We are 'fully capable' of defending against a North Korean attack. We'll just send them our new and improved model XQJ-37 nuclear powered pansexual Rodman roto-plooker
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Coroner releases cause of death in lion attack. I'm not a coroner, but I'm going with lion here
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Good idea: Farking 26-year-old. Questionable idea: When you're 15. Bad idea: She's your stepmom
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy who has been vanquished by Vegas
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WREG Memphis)
 
 
 
For the record, filing fraudulent papers and pretending banks aren't real will not give you the right to squat in a $3 million house, nor will it let you run over police officers, Miss Soverign Citizen
source: wreg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Call for Captain Trips. Please pick up the white courtesy phone
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cape Cod Times)
 
 
 
After last summer's several shark sightings and even a few close encounters on Cape Cod, one town invokes the "No such thing as bad press" theory in the design of this year's beach permit
source: capecodonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Fukushima tsunami survivors call on exorcists to banish demons. "People were killed in so many different ways during the disaster and they were left like that in limbo. So it takes a heavy toll on us, we see them as they were when they died"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Would you pay $105,000 for the privilege of taking the virginity... of a sex doll?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Old: WWII Japanese soldier found on an island 30 years after WWII New: Soviet soldier found in Afghanistan 33 years after the Soviet invasion
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Having already legalized marijuana, Washington is now considering allowing teens in college to drink
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
What better to go with your new gun purchase than a jolt of caffeine?
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Will the lady leaving gift-wrapped skulls around São Paulo please call the local police? They'd like a word with you
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you thought that your college roommate was miserable to live with, just be glad that he or she didn't sauté your pet hamster in a frying pan while drunk
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Unlike most lottery winners, couple who won $136.5 million watch their money go straight down the toilet
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Kraft Mac & Cheese can give you cancer thanks to yellow dye, here comes the soccer mom science
source: blogs.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Company announces major leap forward in holodeck technology, creates device to let people have sex over the internet
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Texas high-school girls plan 'Operation Beautiful,' a day without makeup to show everyone their natural beauty. High-school boys, receptive yet confused
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu March 07, 2013
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
Small Ohio town of 2200 people gets traffic cams and 6600 tickets. In the first month
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Michael White, 29, forced a 16-year-old female student to perform lap dances in front of male students in his informational technology class
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A micro home made from recycled materials for $1,200? Sounds like a great deal if you're a loner with no friends
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
NewsFlash
 
North Korea rips up non-aggression pacts with South Korea, unfriends them on Facebook
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Sriracha gets turned into salt form, theoretically ending the need for any other seasoning
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Story)
 
 
 
Chavez went full Lenin. You never go full Lenin
source: bigstory.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
When dealing with an officer who pulled you over on DUI charges, the best way to interact with him is: A) Ask to speak to a lawyer B) Cooperative with his orders C) Threaten to have somebody from Colombia come and kill him
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snowy door
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
You knew this would happen: Berkeley apparatchik wants to tax email to pay for the Post Office
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ukrainian police detain suspected immortal
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Russians find "new bacteria" in sub-glacial Antarctic lake. What could possibly go wrong?
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
President Obama issues pardon to get Joe Biden out of jail a third time
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby sloth debuts at Minnesota Zoo
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Bristol)
 
 
 
A Jack Russell named 'Barbie' saved her disabled human as well as another dog, a Siamese cat and a budgie from a fire. Give that dog a freezer of steaks
source: thisisbristol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Grumpy Cat, meet Worried Cat
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nerve)
 
 
 
Guy who posted revenge porn regretful...after someone posts naked pictures of him
source: nerve.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FB Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beer-wielding governor
source: sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ever seen those TV ads where Cancer Treatment Centers of America claims their patient's survival rates are so much better than the national average? Yeah, apparently that's because they don't take really sick patients
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The most heart-warming pictures that prove a mother's love really is unconditional - no matter what species you are
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Wanna date with a wealthy, beautiful person? Try Newark Airport........srsly
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Chicago)
 
 
 
Cook County posts their lost-and-found on-line, which is controversial for some reason
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big 1059)
 
 
 
Starbucks serves condescending overpriced retort to Mayor Bloomberg's sugary drink law slated to start next week
source: big1059.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mega 949)
 
 
 
To honor the passing of Hugo Chavez, Citgo lowers flags to half-mast. The U.S. flag. Some people have a problem with this
source: mega949.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Police asking for help in their search for the 'thong bandit', despite it being 'difficult for people to process what they see' when they see him
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Columbia University reporting rise in theft of a) iPads, b) iPhones, or c) Nutella
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
 
 
Deducting 'making it rain' tips at strip clubs on your tax return
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
Nightmare bacteria invade hospitals in Charleston, SC. Sharks recently seen off the coast use the distraction to call in reinforcements
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 4 Charleston)
 
 
 
Massive road sign at SC business: "THIEVES WILL BE SHOT"
source: abcnews4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
San Francisco man arrested for bank robbery after Florida police spot "Fu#k SFPD" tattoos
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Actual traffic alert system in PA: "Alert: This is a test. Bryan is gay"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Washington DC had a little bit of rain and slush yesterday, so naturally government offices closed. What did this teach us? Well, there are an awful lot of self-identified "nonessential employees" lounging about the city. Budget cuts, anyone?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Comic-book store builds TARDIS soda machine. What sort of drinks might it dispense?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Headline News TV)
 
 
 
A lot of towns get icicles in the winter. But only Saskatoon, Saskatchewan gets icicles that have their own Twitter accounts, and that take two days to cut down with a chainsaw
source: hlntv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky & Telescope)
 
 
 
Scientists are learning more about the Russian meteor (including pics of what the explosion looked like from a weather satellite)
source: skyandtelescope.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Last month Chase Utley told Roy Halladay to "drill more batters", apparently forgetting that he occasionally qualifies as a "batter". Drillarity ensues
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"For auction today we have a brick a vandal threw at our business. I hear $1,150...going once...going twice"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
Dear Floridians. Come on in; the water's fine
source: 610wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"And so it's come to this: Rand Paul talking all by himself on the Senate floor. It is a very sad statement on the intellectual collapse...of the media, whose first impulse in this administration is to circle the wagons around the White House"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
After you fall out your window, are naked and covered in blood, do you (a) tell the police how it happened? (b) ask to be taken to the nearest hospital, or (c) scream at the police and insist on remaining naked?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Male Russian soloist ballet dancer offers defense for having orchestrated acid being thrown in artistic director's face: "Look, I just wanted someone to beat his ass, I didn't tell anyone to throw acid"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Problem: People shooting each other. Solution: Anger management classes to buy ammunition
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"Ties to sex abuse could disqualify papal candidates," claims Cardinal George, who apparently doesn't realize that could reduce the field to one or two (or zero)
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bleacher Report)
 
 
 
Not News: Hoops fan pulled from stands for $20K half-court shot contest. News: He sinks it. Dusty: He plans to use the money to pay for his wife's cancer treatments
source: bleacherreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Trentonian)
 
 
 
One postal service employee + one lady of the evening = wipe down your junk mail before you handle it
source: trentonian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Babcocks
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
"He kept hitting my fist with his face" says cop who will not be charged
source: blogs.westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Lesbian couple married after Washington voters approved gay marriage seeking a license to sell pot after voters legalized marijuana
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS)
 
 
 
Did you ever wonder if Jeff Probst is actually standing on the small ledge of a sheer cliff in the opening sequence of Survivor? Well, here's the reality
source: cbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Study says eating too much bacon will kill you, but will be worth it a million times over
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
John Kerry is not impressed with Dennis Rodman's work as a diplomat. Then again, Rodman was never a fan of Kerry's pick and roll
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
North Korea threatens pre-emptive nuclear strike in retaliation for Dennis Rodman
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish a five-foot cross out of the pond that the village atheist tossed in there, he'll biatch for a lifetime
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
If you write threats on a rock and throw it through a judge's window, either learn how to spell or try to vary your misspellings
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Interns are notoriously abused as coffee fetchers, verbal punching bags, fed to lions...wait what?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's illegal to not hire somebody because she is an African Muslim lesbian in a wheelchair. But nobody cares if the only reason you don't get a job is because you're a smoker
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Your master plan to murder your in-laws may be foiled when you: c) mail a knife to your 7- and 9-year old daughters from jail with instructions to assassinate gramma and grampa
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Panama City News Herald)
 
 
 
Police crush 75,000 dope pipes with a construction roller. So if you are coming to north Florida on spring break, bring some rolling papers
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Animals that don't give a fark about their disabilities; proving once again on how Fark needs a badass tag
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The price for two years of being kept in a New Mexico prison in solitary without a trial? $15.5 million
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Salem, Missouri librarian fails to prove ducks and Wiccan websites weigh the same for Federal judge
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KFOR Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Woman arrested and found to have a loaded gun in her hoo hah. No word if there was any kind of discharge
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Female dance instructor charged with eating Humble pie
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 409: "Software Hootenanny 3". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed March 06, 2013
(WWL)
 
 
 
The bomb-threat suspect told police, "The foil wrapped around his head secured by a baseball cap was there to prevent microwave signals from entering his head" w/ mugshot goodness
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A heavily tattooed and pierced man who goes by the name The Creature says his appearance is so bizarre that even his five-year-old daughter is scared of him
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Man killed when his SUV rolls over him while being jumpstarted
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
Cleveland is paying families to move back into town. 'We're Not Detroit' just wasn't working
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Mississippi legalizes home brewing, leaving only Alabama as the last state where home-swillery is illegal
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You may now kiss the bride........Via Skype
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYPD confirms deadly Brooklyn hit-and-run suspect is in custody in Pennsylvania, he was busted for drunken driving just two weeks before the high-speed crash that took out a couple and their baby
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a bunny that balances things on his head
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Syrian rebels capture 20 UN peace keepers and threaten to hold them until Syrian government forces withdraw from their village
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
"Hey. It's me. I picked up the pot, the hash, the mushrooms and the money. It's all in the trunk. Yeah I'm driving over right now. Hold on, I'm being pulled over for using my phone while driving. Call you right back"
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(14 News Evansville)
 
 
 
PRO TIP: When going to court it's probably best to find a baby sitter instead of leaving your children locked in a car
source: 14news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Devastating sequester cuts indeed: The federal government is paying $550,000 for UCSD research into 'safer sex intervention for male clients of female sex workers in Tijuana'
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
"Statements from the defendant were not possible as he would only state he loved cocaine and needed more cocaine"
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
You officially have a reason for your Jeep Cherokee to look rugged (read: unwashed). Everyone's afraid to wash it
source: blogs.westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo District News)
 
 
 
Photoshop these two in the woods
source: pdnphotooftheday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The Dow has closed at an all-time high. This is not a repeat from earlier. Except, it kind of is, I guess. Technically. Whatever
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mayor Bloomberg wants all you young whippersnappers to chill out with all the loudness in your earbuds. DID YOU HEAR THAT?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(10 News)
 
 
 
In California, $1,200 a month in rent will get you a rodent infested, mold filled apartment with a broken heater, clogged sinks, non locking windows and nonfunctional electrical outlets, and you better not complain or immigration might get involved
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Rapefruit, Rosa Parks saute, and other headline fails from newspapers
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Want to be Pizza Hut's social media manager? Then you better be able to market yourself well--in 140 seconds
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WINK Fort Myers)
 
 
 
It's safe to assume anyone who tattoos open eyes onto his eyelids is likely up to no good
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Ever wonder about the type of car Hugo Chávez drove? Prepare to be surprised
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this illuminating scene
source: msnbcmedia2.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Man hides his dark, terrifying secret from his wife until after marriage, and now she doesn't know how to cope with a man addicted to video games
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
If you're dumb enough to waste your time stealing two cans of PBR by shoving them down your pants, you're probably dumb enough to claim that they're really your penis
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
How to turn a $16 restaurant check into a felony in one easy step. Not like he was going to tip, anyway
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Pro tip: Make sure the person asking to see your ID isn't the person you stole it from. And who writes checks anymore, anyway?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Israeli soccer fans walk out after a Muslim player on their own team scores. You know who else valued racial purity in sports?
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After consulting their foremost mathematicians and market experts, CNN determines that the Dow could reach a new record high for the second day in a row if it goes up
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Could the Harlem Shake lead to a new popular uprising against tyranny in the Middle East?
source: globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Don't have sex in secluded areas where lions are known to roam
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abilene Reporter-News)
 
 
 
'Big deal' say flyers allowed by the TSA to now carry small knives on planes, knowing full well you don't bring a penknife to a fight with whatever is now presumably allowed in the cockpit
source: reporternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Jacket)
 
 
 
Hire-a-Pope: Five dark horse candidates
source: thesmokingjacket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Two park employees overturn old truck tire, discover 100,000 Africanized killer bees. "It was like bees all in the cab...So I'm trying to swat, and they say never to swat bees"
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Gun manufacturers, sellers, and sportsmen to the NRA: You know, thanks for the memories and all, but we think we're going to try a strategy that doesn't involve being a drooling caricature of ourselves from now on
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The death of one of the greatest gifts in the English language: the pun. Experts believe it happened sometime in the recent present
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
A look at why so many of the accidents after a major snowstorm seem to involve SUVs with four-wheel drive
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This is Croydon)
 
 
 
South Norwood Tourist Board prepare for festival in honour of dog who found World Cup trophy in bush
source: thisiscroydontoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(This Is Bristol)
 
 
 
The teen hit the man, then drove off as 'he wasn't exactly dead or anything'
source: thisisbristol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"The deputy yelled, 'Stay back and drop the mop,' but Laundre kept coming"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hugo Chavez, the champion of the poor, somehow amassed a $1 billion fortune while in office
source: celebritynetworth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Put away the champagne, hide the blow, pay the hookers to leave. The DOW isn't at an all-time high when you adjust for inflation. Thank NPR for ruining our fun
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If your job is to load a bunch of shipping containers onto a barge, don't treat it like it's a game of Tetris
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this state-sanctioned singer
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Thanks to the Great Recession, people under 35 are now doing something with money called "saving"
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Girl born with no eyes or nose doesn't see what the big stink is about
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You know the hipsters have officially taken over the neighborhood when the first organic dry cleaner opens up on your block
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Massive Lego spill shuts down West Virginia highway. Whoa, that's just a few blocks down the road
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Russell Crowe says he recorded a UFO on his camera while he was outside trying to film fruit bats. No Mad-Libs were harmed in the making of this headline
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
What is New York City's new campaign to stop teens from getting pregnant? How about using shame and insults paid for by taxpayers
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Over a half a million Americans travel more than 90 minutes each way to work; Atlantans only wish they were that lucky
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tech Crunch)
 
 
 
The Google Drive programmers are apparently beer snobs
source: techcrunch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
Five-year-old orphaned Chinese girl was unable to hear, speak or use sign language. Then an American doctor of audiology decided to not only adopt her, but also get her a cochlear implant. The dust, it's everywhere. w/vid
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Can your city's slogan be worse than Alabama slogans such as Tuscumbia's classic "Come see what Helen Keller couldn't?"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
Whitehouse.gov Petition to 'Eliminate the bi-annual time change caused by Daylight Savings Time'
source: wh.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bakersfield Californian)
 
 
 
While internet rages over a "nurse" failing to perform CPR at a "nursing home", family of the 87 year old woman is OK with it
source: bakersfieldcalifornian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue March 05, 2013
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Nightmare bacteria on the rise in the US, though that might just be a band name
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hot : You meet a sexy hazel eyed man on a trip to the Bahamas and you get your groove back. Sappy: Your family throws a BBQ so he can meet them. Awkward: He recognizes your father as his own
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Ugly Ass Giraffe makes his debut at the Houston Zoo. Bonus: They named him Yao Ming
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Teen skier survives 2 nights on Maine mountain and credits Bear Grylls with his survival. No word if he drank his own piss
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You gonna get grape fruited
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Playboy launches Hebrew edition. Now the articles nobody reads go from right to left
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man under a canopy
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Counterfeit Cardinal crashes conclave. Cathedral cops capture conman cleric, confiscate costume, commence collared custody
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
"Gummy bear" breast implants for eye candy, CNN's pimp name, and the difference between a panda and a drunk guy from Missouri: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/24 - 3/2
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(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
Attorneys do not stand their ground on the defense for Zimmerman
source: 610wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Happy 50th birthday to the Hula-Hoop. Just like you, subby could never get the hang of it, either
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
10-year-old boy keeps his father alive for 10 days after he falls by giving him food and fluids. Hell, most 10-year-olds can't even find the Pop-Tarts
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Turns out the "natural food coloring" in Ikea's chocolate cake is fecal matter. No word on if it's horse fecal matter
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Let the Lions Run Free Day", at Chinese zoo turns out to be not as popular with patrons as expected
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Now that the last bit of Hugo Chavez is dead, Cancer can start getting back to its normal life
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Other jobs for the Pope Benedict after he leaves the papacy
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Baylor student dies in freak Filipino dance accident
source: now.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Excuse me waiter? There's a collapsed building in my soup
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Den of Geek (US))
 
 
 
PETA Attacks Assassin's Creed 4 for Whaling
source: denofgeek.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
A third sinkhole has struck Palm Harbor, FL
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: Couple hires a surrogate. News: Baby is defective. Fark: Offer to exchange is rebuffed
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
No longer banned by the TSA: Pocket knives and golf clubs. Still banned by the TSA: Respect for passengers, Fourth Amendment
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Researchers presenting paper on why students plagiarize. Thinking of using their work for my master's thesis
source: pages.turnitin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
RIP John Wilpers, the man who captured Tojo in 1945
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
We found out Batman's identity. No, not Bruce Wayne, but Stan the Delivery Man
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Asked how police tracked down the SUV, Lowe said: "They just followed the direction that the accidents were going in"
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The man who created internet memes - before the internet. Bonus: The Reagan's pro-drug video
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
US fed up with United Nations diplomats showing up drunk at meetings. UN says they'll get right on that, ossifer, after they finish this strongly lorded wetter
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(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Apparently deciding that his application to join the League of Supervillians just wasn't strong enough; WI Gov. tries to sneak language into a budget bill that will make it easier for "rent to own" shops to rip off the mathematically illiterate
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abilene Reporter-News)
 
 
 
Hey, Abby - I can't figure this one out. Should I take my young children over to my alcoholic, belligerent gun nut father-in-law who keeps loaded guns everywhere and fires them off in the house?
source: reporternews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
So in Kansas, RAMJOB is out as a personalized license plate, but RIMJOB is OK? Boy, that tickles
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The College Fix)
 
 
 
Workshop by "sexologist" who owns a sex shop determines that 9% of Yale students have been paid for sex, 3% have engaged in bestiality, and over half say that they "engaged in consensual pain" during sex, paying tuition
source: thecollegefix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Huffing nitrous oxide while leading police on a high speed chase is no way to go through life, young lady (link fixed)
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Obama getting carried away with his love of drones. Pilot spots black drone pacing his aircraft as he lands at JFK
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
*SLEEPER AGENT*....Hotel bar boots Rodman because he just won't STFU about what a great guy Kim Jong Un is
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Scientists think the brains of video game enthusiasts hold the key to unlocking crucial mysteries
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Opposing Views)
 
 
 
Driver who killed young New York couple on their way to hospital to deliver first child also killed 50 Cent
source: opposingviews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New Pope-a-palooza 2013 hasn't started yet because SOME PEOPLE, and we're not naming names here Cardinals Pham, Lehman, Naguib, Nycz, and Hon, apparently have more important things to do than decide the future of their church
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Dow just hit a record high. Top that, Colorado
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UN: "Dammit, Hamas. Let your women run in the Gaza marathon or so help me I will turn around and cancel this race"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It's snowmageddon all over again. Everybody Panic
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Not only did a Dunkin' Donuts worker throw coffee in a robber's face. But as he fled she called after him, 'go run on Dunkin''
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
You know that part of the rental contract where you agree to have the car back by a certain date? Turns out Avis takes that kind of seriously
source: dacula.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Next time bring your kids with you; drinking is more fun that way
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
You know your shelf life as a performer is limited when you're accused of keeping fans up past their bedtimes
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Delaware Online)
 
 
 
College student who got an $1800 cash machine overpayment takes four days to finally conclude that ATMs have cameras
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Newsflash: International Babe Race underway as Russkies unveil their Kate Upton lookalike
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KJRH Tulsa)
 
 
 
"911 what's the emergency?" "Our neighbor just scalped my husband and cut off his ear" "How big of a knife does he have ma'am?" "He doesn't have a knife. He's armed with a tiki torch"
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dlisted)
 
 
 
Britney Spears' little sister Jamie, whose father is also named Jamie, just got engaged to a dude named Jamie
source: dlisted.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Forget the Sequester, sinkholes, and drone strikes: the real question on everyone's mind is clearly "Can the Girl Scouts legally ban Honey Boo Boo from selling cookies?"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Russia Today)
 
 
 
North Korea is threatening to scrap the armistice with the United States and South Korea. Thanks a lot, Dennis Rodman
source: rt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Happy 40th birthday to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, with insight from some of the people who made it
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Silvesterchlaeuses in Switzerland
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you believe in God then this cannot be a coincidence
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Gordon Ramsay finds out that his his f*cking London hotel restaurant is f*cking closing. Reached for comment, he says, "F*ck me, I'm f*cking stunned"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowering The Bar)
 
 
 
What's dumber than a school suspending a kid for a pastry gun? The school making counselors available to any students troubled by the pastry gun
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(Amusing Planet)
 
 
 
Amazing pictures of a town that was submerged 25 years ago and has only recently resurfaced
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(Automoblog)
 
 
 
Introducing the super rare, super fast Lamborghini Veneno. In other news, Lamborghini selected to build next Batmobile
source: automoblog.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Selling your house? Just remember that your real estate agent might be sneaking inside while you're away to sniff your wife's panties. With video
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)