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| Sun February 10, 2013 |
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New Playmobil set may not be suitable for children under four-years-old due to small parts, and the re-acting of a violent crime
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Eighty-two-year-old man tackles 27-year-old burglary suspect who crossed his backyard while running from the cops. Not on his lawn, punk
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Old oil rigs in the Gulf are rich habitats teeming with sealife. But they're also kind of an eyesore. So in its infinite wisdom, your government is wasting billions of dollars to make the situation a lot worse
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Authorities announce $1,000,000 bounty for Christopher Dorner. This will end well
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Photoshop this barrel inspection
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Catholic college founded in 1840 decides to offer online classes. Dept of Education: "that'll be $42 million dollars because you're like DeVry now"
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Britain's oldest lightbulb has been shining for 130 years. Take me out tonight, where there's music and there's people and they're young and alive. Driving in your car, I never never want to go home, because I haven't got one. Anymore
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Air Force vet lived overseas, wanted to fly to US to see ill mother. Couldn't fly, on no-fly list. Then taken off list. Flies home. Now wants to return to job overseas. Obvious what happens next
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[FAIL] or [IRONIC] ? You decide: Five dead in cruise ship lifeboat drill
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Florida man is the nation's worst superhero
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It turns out that the "Evil Twin" defense can work in real life
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Time lapse blizzard videos: See an entire night of misery condensed into seconds
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The manhunt for ex-LAPD cop Christopher Dorner just got real: use of drones has been authorized, the first time they have been used against a US citizen within America's borders
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Photoshop these somewhat submerged swimmers
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Fox attacks four-week-old baby. "Fair and Balanced" my ass
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Researcher: "Marijuana users have double the risk of stroke." Data: "All but 1 marijuana user also tested positive for nicotine". TFA: "Cigarettes quadruple risk of stroke." Math: "Study suggests marijuana halves risk of stroke in smokers"
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LAPD's new tactic to bring cop-killer Christopher Dorner to justice: ram and shoot any vehicle that remotely matches his car
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Man compared to Saddam Hussein. Is he (A) a terrorist, (B) a brutal dictator or (C) a homeowner who violated an HOA rule about window pane dividers?
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Newport, RI vs. Kennebunkport, ME. Here comes the SMACKDOWN. Quite the kerfuffle was created that day, my friends
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♫ ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ANAL PHONE ♫
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Facebook can make you depressed when you realize how much better your "friends" lives are
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Lawsuit claims tree jumped out in front of drunk driver
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Pirate attacks declining off Somali in last nine months, accounting for severe weather on US East Coast
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Fifty years later, does Betty Friedan's "Feminine Mystique" still resonate, or has it become too broad?
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For the last time, don't sell off property that's not yours, don't piss off a native tribe, and most definitely don't start a land war in Ecuador. "If they want to strip the gold from our lands, they will have to kill every last one of us"
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"I grew up in Maine. I don't have a nervous breakdown when this happens," said James Woodman, 55. He said he had stocked up on four storm essentials: Triscuits, peanut butter, vodka and toilet paper. "I could last a week now". Out yourself farker
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"Bowman denies that he has found an ingenious loophole around Monsanto's restriction. 'As far as I know, I'm the only damn dumb farmer around', that tried"
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The 2012 State of the Climate summary report is available from the NOAA. Subby would try to snark but is too tired from shoveling climate
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Awww, the kitties are all growed up, and has to live outsides now :-(
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He's always makin' the news, wearin' just his tennis shoes, guess you could call him unique
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Bankrupt city has a major problem with gangs and drugs after cutbacks. Solution: Target panhandlers
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LAPD to give new truck to women shot by officers. So, we're good here, right?
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How do you feel about the "business mullet"? It's a sport jacket and jeans -- business on top, party down below
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Walmart fist fight ends with the Walmartisest mug shot ever
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Prudish woman complains to city council about cocktail party / lingerie show. Local newspaper pickups the story and uses "SLUTS" for the jump page. Apparently some people have a problem with this
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Photoshop this committed courier
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Aging bikers are three times more likely to get injured, ride through this world all alone
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Arizona colleges begin heavy pursuit of out-of-state students. Mostly because it's hard to find anyone under the age of 65 who lives in Arizona
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Florida's Python Challenge is nearly over and already some people are calling bullshiat. "I don't feel the epidemic is as bad as they're saying"
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Mother doesn't understand why everyone is making such a big fuss over the fact that she brought her four-month-old baby with her to a rave because she had headphones for him
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Ob/gyn complains about unnamed patient's lack of punctuality on-line. To the mommy warriors, that's evidence that she's unfit to be a doctor
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"Hi, I entered the wrong account number when I set up my direct deposit two years ago; can I have my £26,000 back?" "NOPE"
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Last known photos of Christopher Dorner released by Irvine Police Department on Saturday. Dorner is now one of the MOST WANTED SUSPECTS in AMERICA
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Food technology continues to march ever forward. A food engineer has created the first grilled cheese sandwich without bread
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Police officer accused of groping handcuffed, pregnant woman. I've seen this movie before
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You know how when you're in jail the cops will read your mail and listen to your phone calls? This guy didn't
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TurboTax and H&R Block have managed to turn their respective tax programs into bitter class warfare
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Scientology now has an enemy worse than Anonymous: The Niece of its current leader
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Your father died while waiting 30 minutes for an ambulance to show up? That will be $780.85
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The city of Pompeii is in dire trouble. This is not a repeat from 79 A.D
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Artist decodes stray DNA of strangers to produce life-like pictures of them
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| Sat February 09, 2013 |
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Victim's family shocked that even though a gym is require to have defibrillator, and staff trained to use it, they don't actually have to use it
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Three Denver cops won't be charged after determining there was insufficient evidence as to whether a man was roughed up. Including a picture of what "insufficient evidence" looks like
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Deceased fanboy leaves million-dollar estate to the stars of "Lucan The Wolf-Boy" & "The Powers Of Matthew Star"
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Remember that pregnant 9-year-old? Well she wasn't really 9. She could be as old as 15. Why did her mother lie? Because 9-year-old prostitutes make more money than 15-year-old prostitutes
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Photoshop these chess characters
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Ohio mayor resigns because she's old fashioned. Old fashioned as in harassing an openly gay police officer, discussing his sexuality with other city employees and wanting to run his partner out of town
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Mr. Sierra's failed attempt at being a nudist certainly does not warrant lifetime registration as a sex offender
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The White Rose of Stalingrad: Lidiya Litvyak was the young fighter pilot with the bouquet of wildflowers in her cockpit who shot down a dozen of the Luftwaffe's best pilots to become the highest scoring woman air ace of all time, OF ALL TIME
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Finally, a reason to visit Des Moines, Iowa: today is the kickoff of the annual Blue Ribbon Bacon festival, which features more than 6,000 pounds of delicious, delicious bacon
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Bill Maher: The short form certification of Donald Trump's birth is insufficient proof that Trump's father wasn't an orangutan
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I guess when you're smarter than the average bear you can sue a gym employee for "losing your zen"
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"This verdict shows that judges' understanding of technology is weak," Eid said. "The judges do not realize that one wrong post on a website does not mean you have to block the entire website"
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| (Christian Post .com) |
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Old and busted: atheist visits Jesus Camp. New Hotness: Christian visits Atheist Church
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News: Hundreds of families notified their college-bound kids awarded 4-year full ride scholarship to Utah university. Fark: Notices were a "clerical error"
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"We are not sure what happened; we've overturned every rock we can think of. It's as if the movie 'It's a Wonderful Life' is playing out"
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Photoshop this excited football fan
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The hotel safe is for brandy and grandmother's pearls
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6 examples of real people who took helicopter parenting way too far
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Long Island Walmart turns into a refugee camp for motorists stranded by storm
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Fauja Singh, the "Turbaned Tornado," will be hanging up his running shoes after one more race. Which is understandable, considering the fact that HE'S 101 YEARS OLD
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Next Saturday, a massive bronze statue depicting the iconic "sailor a kissing a woman in Times Square at the end of World War" picture will be unveiled in San Diego
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Lady who runs county animal shelter that adopted out 900 pets last year posts on Facebook that the shelter is without heat and the pipes have frozen. So the county fires her
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Smoking hot 18 year old woman arrested for leaving hickeys on a boy's neck. Fark: A boy half her age
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Climate scientists studying satellite imagery find 9,000-strong population who've never had contact with the outside world. 9,000 penguins, that is
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Michigan Supreme Court votes to push marijuana sales to strip mall parking lots
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A mysterious, newly discovered disease that strikes mainly young women. "There was something wrong. I thought trucks were following me,"
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Leader of Amish beard cutting ring gets 15 year sentence in luxury resort with plumbing, electricity and telephones
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Dr McCarthy. Dr Jenny McCarthy. Please report to the Department of Duh
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Couple in their 80s have seen off THREE bogus workmen who have tried their luck
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What better way to say Happy Valentine's Day than, "Get the fark out." Law office giving away a free divorce for Valentines day
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New Jersey defends its moves to the left
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New pub in New York has "Gangs of New York" theme. You'd better bring your own knife
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What's in your wallet . . . ? No, really -- what's in your wallet?
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Woman says she only got pregnant just so she could afterwards get a tummy tuck that was covered by government health care. It has to be true, it's in The Sun
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Hey, you want a FREE bridge?
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Super hot Spanish teacher has baby wi- look, we just need a teacher tag already
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You're in a high speed chase and the cops are right behind you. Do you: A) Surrender? B) Hope you have enough gas to reach the border? C) Call a local television reporter and ask him for advice?
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Photoshop this silly service
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"Black men [in LA] should avoid even the most banal confrontations with the police...make sure you cooperate with the police; now is not the right time to wear a hoodie," this is not a repeat from every other moment in the history of LA
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Bad: Liquor costs up in Canada. Good: Drinking deaths down. Fark: Canadians not nearly as rosy and friendly as they used to be
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An overweight cat named 'Holly' regularly swims at the Olde Towne Pet Resort in Virginia, to lose weight so she will be ready to sport a sexy two piece come Caturday
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Because the Chinese have no God, they celebrate Spring Festival. Air your grievances to the right
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Maryland bicyclists oppose mandatory helmet law, saying it would reduce rider safety
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Personal grooming accidents are booming. Wax on...wax owww
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Why absolutely no one takes art critics seriously
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How much snow are you getting? How drunk do you have to get to shovel? Can we hope for no work on Monday? It's your official Winter Storm Nemo discussion thread (w/link to live cam)
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Remember that story about the kid suspended for throwing an imaginary grenade in the schoolyard? Turns out it may be a made up story by the mother who has done this before
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Your daily "female teacher has inappropriate relationship with high school student" story features an actual hottie. Seriously. Not kidding this time. Click the link
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It sure gets dusty in these school Gyms lately
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The hidden victims of the foreclosure crisis: 1,000 pound pigs
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| Fri February 08, 2013 |
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The first song composed and recorded in space actually rocks
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The machines are starting to arm themselves. It begins
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Protip - When sending a note for help with your K-9 companion, Lassie-style, it helps if the note says WHO and WHERE you are (HERO tag is for the dog, who brought help anyway)
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No Fair... apparently TSG has already photoshopped this weeks's mugshot roundup
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Officials want to build a 75-mile path through the Everglades so that joggers and cyclists can have easy access to the wildlife without having to use their cars. What could go wrong?
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Photoshop this fuzzy microbe
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"Everyone on my street has double garages.... who are these farknuts who don't put their car in their garage when we get 2 feet of snow?" tweeted the city of Vaughan
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Missing part of the 19th century's naughtiest painting proves that the carpet does indeed match the drapes. Safe for work unless you GIS the original
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| (Some Guy) |
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Worst. Alias. Ever
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If nothing else, this blizzard has given us the GIF of the year
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Man diagnosed with a "popeye deformity" after falling and hurting himself at Walmart wins a $1.3 million settlement. Also, "popeye deformity" is a thing
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Fat seal put on diet, still not getting Heidi back
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Here you go, men: the secret message told by the flowers you send. Yellow roses? Congrats, you just dumped your girl
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If you drive a car in Massachusetts during the snow, you'll go to jail for a year. Also, there's no train, bus, or airline service
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Wife donates her kidney to her husband for their first Valentine's Day as a married couple. Good luck topping that
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Old and busted: Dog-faced boy. New hotness: Boy-faced dog. (w/ pic)
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Criminal mastermind tries to score big by passing off rolled-up pennies as dimes at the same bank twice, is eventually caught on his getaway bike. Guess we won't be seeing him in Ocean's 14
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Get in, sit down, shut up and hang on: it's the Weird News Quiz. Now with 28% more strangeness than other leading brands
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Photoshop this man in the mirror
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More than 300 cats found in mobile home. Sorry, did I say cats? I meant rats
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What the Nor'easter looks like from space. Holy Fark I should've gotten a case of whiskey instead of just one bottle
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50 horrible photos taken by professional photographers. Many Caucasians were harmed in the making of these photographs
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Guy buys closed coffee shop on busy street with little parking, reopens it and only lasts six months. Does he accept defeat graciously? Of course not, or it wouldn't be posted here (Bonus: comment section)
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"Booty Dancing" while handcuffed at the police station: $250 and community service. (with awkward video)
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First guns in schools, now this. 'Dangerous' latex bombs filled with fluid thrown in high school hallways causes slipping and falling and some 'upset' students
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Instagram scam swindles Furby fans out of $200,000
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When a sixth-grader is left IN A COMA after a schoolyard fight, I think you need to use a stronger word than "bullying" to describe the attack, and maybe hand out a punishment stiffer than a two-day suspension
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Man faces arrest after going 30 mph over speed limit. On a skateboard
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♫ The best part of waking up, is Folgers in your
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Cute mom passes out drunk at friend's house, leaves infant and toddler home alone, then makes brilliant observation about her life
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Will you be my Valentine? No, seriously. You WILL be my Valentine
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Liberté, égalité, sharpié
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53 filthy band names you can't say on the air. Brought to you by this hilarious internal memo at the campus radio station
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Say goodbye to the dragon, and get ready for the year of the snake. And it could be a venomous one that brings disaster. Please prepare to panic
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Suicide bomber in northern Mali kills one
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Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down. And I'd like to take a minute. Just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became Callius Moon, Defendant of Detroit municipal court
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See? Women do it too. But unlike guys and 'sex tourism', it is called 'romance travel' when the ladies do it
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New study says that traffic congestion in the U.S. remains steady, except for the 405 in Los Angeles which hasn't actually moved since 2011
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Man in danger of being killed by his girlfriend has his life saved by a car thief
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You know that "Sandy Hook father" who spoke so eloquently on behalf of gun rights and vowed that the government would take his right to protect his daughter from his "cold, dead hands?" Yup, he's not a Sandy Hook father
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Future tattoos may show when a person has a disease. You mean they don't already?
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Yes, there was alcohol involved. And guns. And Coke. And an idiot
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Hiker in New Zealand finds new use for emergency beacon
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It sucks to be a yuppie parent whose kid gets rejected for admittance into exclusive school. Especially when the school publishes said rejection as part of fundraising effort for successful applicants to enjoy
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We've secretly replaced the hunky stripper, a muscular Adonis called Fabio, with a "scruffy" novice stripper called Leon Zbudowskyj. Let's see if this crowd of drunken British women notice
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Bad: Being arrested for drug trafficking Worse: Being outed by the police as an informant then thrown in jail with the people you ratted on
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Want to hook up with a co-worker, but not sure which profession has the best odds for workplace romance? Well, there's a reason there's a PSA tag next to this headline
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The French government has announced a plan to try and "educate" wolves to "not eat sheep"
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"To make matters worse the man answered the door naked each time staff tried to talk with him"
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If you're a hottie going on a drug fueled naked rampage, what better place than The Rage
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They're shooting the wieners off pedophiles in Michigan
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Japanese men responsible for surge in purchases of Valentine's Day insurance in which they are guaranteed to receive chocolate on February 14 with "personal message from self-professed beautiful lady, Rieko"
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From the Hold My Beer and Watch This Department: Illinois man Life Flighted to hospital after attempting to remove tree stump with homemade fireworks
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Man steals his girlfriend's heart while his buddies steal her TV
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Millennials are the most stressed-out generation EVAR. Hopefully they'll get some kind of trophy for this
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In a shocking twist of events that suprises everyone, "Southern" diets have been linked with cancer, heart disease, and stroke
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Obesity leads to lower vitamin D levels, despite increasing the amount of skin exposed to sunlight
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NCSU, home of one of the first internet sex video scandals is back with "Dirty Bingo" and butt plugs
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If you think all the freaks only go to Comic-Con, then you haven't been to Anthrocon or the World Toilet Summit & Expo
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Australian man with massive stockpile of "poison" is worried it could hurt his children
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Photoshop this fly (Rehosted)
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Even though the poor plants stand there silently with their arms up, people still go out into the Arizona desert and use saguaro cacti for target practice
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Senior living community with $450K entrance fees and $98M in annual profit claims it doesn't owe any taxes of any kind -- because they're a non-profit
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LA school district takes $170 million from a federal fund to feed low-income students and spends it on more important things. Like lawn sprinklers and a TV station
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If you're part of Florida's Python Challenge, try not to go so deep into the Everglades you become stranded and disoriented
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Oklahoma City judge in an effort to stomp out crime, has 59 year old grandmother arrested. Fark: for a ticket from 2001 for not securing her dog. Ultrafark: A dog she never owned
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Boo farking hoo...12 inches. Subby expects 24 in Boston, Red Sox rule
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Virginia wants to make "dooring" bicyclists illegal. Subby has always heard it referred as "door-checking"
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What makes Sriracha, chicken & waffles, and cheesy garlic bread so similar? They're all flavors of Lay's potato chips now
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College: now with a money-back-if-no-job guarantee
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More and more people are turning to fast food chains like McDonald's for healthier options, and as a result are boosting their profits
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Why so serious? (Probably because the food is farking terrible)
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News: Cute 35-year-old teacher's assistant has sex with her son's friend. Fark: 40 times (w/mugshot)
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If you have to be rich, you don't want to be rich in California
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The problem with introverted kids these days is that they are introverted
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Peeing off the side of a boat, flipping off your neighbors, and firing a shotgun into the air is no way to go through life...especially if you're a former town councilman
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Not being invited to a wedding is now a thing
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| Thu February 07, 2013 |
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Cops have a hell of a time trying to catch a goat that went rogue in Brooklyn until a African herder comes to the rescue
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Protip for doctors: When delivering a baby, try not to leave the placenta inside the woman for a further 8 weeks
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Woman uses Facebook to overturn a parking ticket. FARK: It actually works
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I don't want to say he's a Siberian cult leader...but, he's a Siberian cult leader
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NPR asks the question: Are hunters committing murder?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Homo Sapiens Daucus Carota
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After a first date, a true gentleman never expects a kiss...or tries to steal an Xbox from the neighbor's kid at gunpoint
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ex-cop alleged cop-killer Chris Dorners, still loose and on a shooting rampage in LA, left this manifesto
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Restaurant adds a line to receipt charging extra for unruly kids and.. wait, what? The kids were well behaved? And they gave the diners a discount?
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Swedish Guy: Judge, you should toss my DUI charge because I wasn't drunk -- I drink a lot, every day, and therefore I have a high tolerance. Judge: Seems legit
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LAPD on the look out for black male, or two white women. Either will do really. Will shoot on sight
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Installing a microchip in your dog now mandatory in England. Welcome to the database, citizen
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Meh: Boy graduates from high school. Get the tissues: his mother has cancer. Cue Sarah McLachlan, puppies and kitties: special ceremony held in her hospital room the day before she died
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Hello? 911? This is butt
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50 reasons that Texas might actually be the closest thing we have to a true Utopia on Earth
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Photoshop this soaring scot
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No need to panic for this asteroid, it's only going to miss the earth by a measly 15,000 miles on February 15
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| (Travel + Leisure) |
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"While Leach was distracted, said parrot swooped into the camper's open window and took Leach's wallet-holding about $1,100"
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Boyfriend charged after his girlfriend gets run over. And over. And over. Bonus: tattoos
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Kai the hatchet-wielding heroic homeless hitchhiker gets the autotuning he so richly deserves. Huzzah
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Here's how the Alabama hostage standoff and rescue of 5 yr old went down
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Lutheran minister formally apologizes for taking part in prayer vigil for the victims of the Sandy Hook Massacre-because there were also clerics of other faiths also praying at the service, and you know, Jesus just HATES that
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Cops hunting badly-drawn David Byrne for impersonating an officer
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Group of men plan to board a train, hijack it with handfuls of chili powder to free their captive friend from his police escort. And it works
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Canadian beer: Now with more bacon
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| (Some Guy) |
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Teacher of gifted students finds one a little more gifted
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Machine has egg-laying hen in a nest on one end and cranks out the freshest pancake you could ever have on the other end
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Same old: Suicide by jumping from bridge. New hotness: Leaving behind funeral guest shiat list
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The burger wars heat up as a Burger King Employee robs McDonalds, moves into White Castle with the Dairy Queen
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Iceland hit by mass herring death which cripples fishing industry, ability to cut down tallest tree in the forest
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Directions: 1) Buy table at Ikea. 2) Assemble table. 3) Notice it is lopsided. 4) Don't return it because you still love it
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NY Post brilliantly outs informant before mob trial
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Man apparently time travels from 1948 to lure child into his vehicle...with a comic book
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Headline: Fox News credibility hits 'record low'. Article: Fox News still more credible than MSNBC, CNN, ABC News, CBS News, NBC News, and even Comedy Central
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Two days after making a bomb threat against the courthouse do you: A. Lay low; B. Flee the state; or C. make a bomb threat against the police and leave your name on their voicemail?
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His name is Dr Cockeram, what did they think was going to happen?
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Former LAPD cop shoots cops, on the hunt for more cops while creating perpetual gun debate loop
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Taunting by an 11-year-old causes letter carrier to go postal
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Cute, media savvy scion of Fred Phelps sits down and talks about what it's like to think for herself for the first time in her life
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Russian monument to vodak tippled over because officials fear it projects an image of drunk Russians
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FARK's Drew Curtis sits down with Mike from the Huffington Post to discuss the top weird news stories
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Those numbers sound about right, but I just can't shake the feeling that we forgot something
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Feeling blue? Can't seem to get off the couch in your Mom's basement? Well suck it up big boy, poor people in Hong Kong are living in cages ..... yes cages
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Not news: Woman passes drugs to inmate during prison visit. News: Drugs passed during open mouth kiss. Fark: Visitor is inmate's mom
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Car thieves foiled by Drunken Master's car-fu
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Your word of the day is 'Breastaurants', should you decide to accept it
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Wisconsin man all butthurt over police putting a tracking device on his car to stop him from breaking into houses. (insert sound of tiny violin here)
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Job centre offers German teen a job in a brothel, "good looks" a must
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Moose disappearing. Squirrel inconsolable
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PNG woman burned alive for sorcery, file size being larger than 500KB
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Nothing quite says 'CHAV' like fake diamonds. On an electronic curfew bracelet
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Tunisian Islamists: Look, PM, we love ya and everything, but this is getting too crazy. Even for us. We're just gonna sit over here and try and dodge the molotovs
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Women are ugliest on Wednesdays at 3:30pm
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A camel escaped, escaped, escaped, and when a van hit him, his hide was scraped. The driver's mouth, it went agape. A shame if he was dead
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Woman claimed she was pregnant, had cancer, was inheriting a fortune and was dead
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One-legged man in wheelchair goes to store to cash in $500 lottery ticket, is promptly robbed as he leaves by the man who was behind him in line. Paging Karma, Karma to the white courtesy phone
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The land that has brought us tentacle monster rape, panty vending machines, and giant penis and vagina festivals wants David to wear pants
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No sense in beating a dead horse-farker
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Nine year old girl gives birth. Police looking for her 17 year old boyfriend. Dude
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London: why we're the breakfast capital of the world
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"Gas passing spurs fight, felony charge"
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School board member on trial for rape and pimping wonders why it would be considered wrong to have a live-in stripper at his home with his two minor children
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Woman in Chick-fil-A drive thru lane runs down teen worker in cow costume, pays for order and flees, presumably in a cloud of feathers
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Home Depot to hire 80,000 employees for spring, though you still won't be able to find anyone to help you find that 3/4 inch to 1/2 inch connector
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Something old? Check. New? Check. Borrowed? Check. Blue? Check. Tools and equipment for prison break? Check
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Mr Bean crashes car in to tree. Tree survives, repairs to car cost $1,400,000
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Tucson school desegregation consent decree OK'd. In related news, President Lincoln had a really bad headache
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L.A. Archdiocese to hold $200 million dollar fundraiser to recover some of the money they were forced to pay to sex abuse victims. Sadly, this is NOT from The Onion
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Photoshop this head in hand
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PETA wishes supermarkets would stop making their raw, plucked chickens look so damn sexy
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If you love camping but hate sleeping in a tent, cooking your own meal over a campfire, and getting lost while on a hike in a forest, you should really try glamping. "It's an effortless, authentic way to connect with nature"
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Sure sign the economy is on the up and up: Sales in brightly colored men's underwear is on the rise
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In case you weren't aware, you will not be able to log onto Facebook on February 29, 30, and 31st
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Have you told your parsnip how much you appreciate it lately?
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Please don't feed the coyotes. Especially if it's fast food burritos
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Florida school district considering cutting all after-school clubs so they don't have to allow a Gay-Straight Alliance
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Mistrial declared when assault victim's prosthetic eye pops out on the witness stand. Judge calls it an "unforeseen" event
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"All he wants is for his former employer to give him a new W-2 without a Satanic number on it. Otherwise, he said, he can't file his taxes"
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Duke frat throws Asian themed 'racist rager'. Duke sucky-sucky's
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From the "we pulled this number out of our ass" association: Every alcoholic drink you have after the first one brings you 15 minutes closer to death
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"The fact remains, the instant availability of everything ever means I am consuming something that was never aimed at me, from a time and a place I have no connection with, and yet I am nearly enjoying it"
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 405: "Neon 2: Electric Boogaloo". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed February 06, 2013 |
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German neurologist claims to have found the area of the brain where evil lurks in killers, rapists and robbers. This is not a movie plot
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Elderly driver crashes car into building, manages to suspend the car over a 20 foot drop. (with awesome "just hanging out" pic.)
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Want to get away from the world and chill out on an uninhabited island? There's one in Scotland that needs a manager to live there eight months a year (and they'll pay you £20,000 for it)
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Rusty old forgotten cruise ship becomes blank canvas for talented urban street artists
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"And he had stopped by Chick-fil-A to pick up 15 sandwiches, which he planned to smear in the dying faces of staffers he expected to kill"
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Photoshop this hat sizing contraption
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NYC will get either 3 or 30 inches of snow this weekend. EVERYBODY MAYBE PANIC
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What's a mother to do after Syrian government troops kill your children? You take your revenge by becoming a fearsome sniper of course
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Did your mother make you eat your vegetables when you were young? She was probably trying to kill you
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The handcuffs were a temporary solution while they tried to figure out a long-term plan. Said the parents of a boy handcuffed in the basement since September
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Dude, I heard you like donuts so I put a doughnut in your donut
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Guy gets kicked off OKCupid for absolutely, definitely, 100% NOT being two kids in a long trenchcoat posing as an adult
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15 college courses that will make you want to go back to school (slideshow warning)
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Photoshop this guy on the spot
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There's a 90% chance the pharmacy that made your sterile compound medicine is trying to kill you
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That libertarian paradise fortress thingie that people want to build in Idaho? If it ever were to exist, it would only the third or 4th craziest survavlist compound/commune/racist enclave/doomsday cult HQ in the neighborhood
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The city of Memphis votes to rename three city parks that honored the Confederacy and its leaders, including one named after the founder of the KKK. Sadly, even in this day and age, some people have a problem with that
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The Monopoly iron was a remnant of metal-working in Chicago. So there you go. A small, metallic bit of American history. Tossed out for a cat
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Zoo uses Surveymonkey to hold vote on baby Siamang's new name. All this story needs is a picture of macaque
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Kings aren't the only thing found in parking lots
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Slippers left in a museum for 140 years turn out to belong to Napoleon's sister
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What's the matter with Kansas? Well, nothing if you're an unemployed stripper
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Dinner party guests arrive to find host murdered and chef in handcuffs. No word as to the state of the entrée
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Is that a 1040 form in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? Taxpayer sues IRS, claims female agent coerced him into having sex to avoid an adverse audit
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When China is worried you've gone too far off the deep end, maybe it is time to re-evaluate your tactics
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Guess who's back: "I wanted to make a political demonstration about problems (blah, blah, blah)... have been causing me these alleged mental problems ever since I met a lesbian professor"
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Blowmeo and Juliette, a tragic and entertaining couple for our time. The Bard rolls over in his grave
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Clerk shot by robber in video store... whatever that is
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A list of 500 FKNAWSM Ohio vanity plates for your SHGNWGN that were rejected by some GDWITCH at the DMV. OHSCHIT, it's a slideshow
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If your wife's dress turns transparent when your brother stops by, it's time to start worrying
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Life imitates The Onion: 1 dead, 2 injured during Baltimore Ravens celebration parade. Fark: they were all stabbed
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Residents of stuffy neighborhood upset that crime-ridden complex next door heeded their complaints, cracked down on illegal parking and built a fence - forcing the undesirables to park on their streets now
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Quebec's 15-pound heart attack poutine is the queen of all poutines
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Turns out that mixing liquor with diet soda gets you drunk faster than by using regular soda. Also lets potential mates know you have no respect for alcohol and should never be allowed to reproduce
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Bad: Natural Gas explosion destroys your business. Worse: While you and a customer are in there. Fark: Your business doesn't have gas service
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Best Korea surrenders to nobody. Except, perhaps, US copyright lawyers
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Four men arrested for throwing shoe at Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. That must have been a big farking shoe
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Step 1: Raise money to build a downtown mosque. Step 2: Withdraw plans after public outcry. Step 3: Party like a millionaire with the donations
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15 pound breakfast is 9 pounds
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Kidnapping and sexual assault suspect arrested after unsuccessfully trying to escape by beating his way through a brick wall with his face
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Frightening photos from this year's Nail Art Olympics. Nice work, but the models can't do anything for themselves until it's over
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Woman breaks into ex-boyfriend's home, attacks new girlfriend in bed. Bonus pic of hittable crazy
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Inmate who was arrested for stalking demands personal files of all the strippers in his county so he can "help them become big stars with social media". Astonishingly, strippers less than receptive to his request
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NFL players' Twitter posts corrected by second-rate grammar Nazis. Er, second grade grammar Nazis
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"Would you vote for a tax increase if it meant saving a cat's life?"
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Man claims he didn't kiss woman, rather he tripped and fell through her car window and landed lips to lips
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Capri Sun introduces new line of fermented beverages
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Do'hnt do what Homer Simpson does
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When it comes to business combinations you give people what they want, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut, Barnes & Noble and Starbucks, daycare and a meth house. OK, that last one might be pushing it a little bit
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What's the matter with pit bulls? Probably you
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Seals off the coast of S. Africa decide they've had enough, turn tables on the sharks
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German Education Minister caught plagiarizing, has doctorate withdrawn
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Cougars-in-training: Young women are dating even younger men, or as we call them, "school teachers"
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Arab Spring 2: Tunisian Boogaloo
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Two of the Great Lakes are about to be downgraded to just Good Lakes
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The good news? Doctors have developed a technique that stops cluster headaches and migraines in 67% of patients. The bad news? You have to have an almond-sized electrical-stimulation device implanted in a nerve bundle behind your nose and eyes
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Photoshop this guy in a grave
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Car companies may soon start installing external airbags to protect all the cyclists and pedestrians you plow into
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Normally companies love it when an international celebrity is photographed using their product. Unless that international celebrity is North Korea's Kim Jong Un. "It's not a Samsung phone"
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How to use your penis cake pan to make non-penis cakes that only mostly look like penises
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Global Warming can be slowed by working fewer hours
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She's tan, she's back, she's drunk, and she's flashing her naughty bits on stage. Fair warning: Have eye bleach handy before viewing
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"When deputies were investigating the theft, Drachenburg obstructed justice by disguising himself as 'The Sun.' The report does not go into further detail as to how Drachenburg took on 'The Sun' identity"
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Headline: "Coffee will kill you." Article: "coffee makes this one guy feel pretty bad"
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Two men decide it would be a good idea to walk on an icy pond in Central Park. Since you're reading this on Fark, you can guess how it went
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Sheriff Arpaio's solution to stop school shootings in his county: Have Steven Seagal train all the volunteers and make sure to film it all so that the bad guys can have a preview of their tactics
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Does your Down Syndrome kid refuse to wear their shoes in school? Well duct tape will take care of that. Oh and there's no law against these types of practices in 20 States, so no need to make a fuss about it
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Not news: 7-year-old student suspended. Fark: For tossing imaginary hand-grenade during recess
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YIKES. Subby doesn't even know where to begin with this story
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The best advice some people will never learn: "If women keep responding to you like you're some weirdo creeper, then chances are that you're acting like a weirdo creeper"
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