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Sun January 06, 2013
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Menopause can cause... something
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Old: "You suck at irrelevant interview questions and I don't like you." New: "You're just not a cultural fit for us"
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Meet Daniel Quinnell, the luckiest asshole in 'Merika
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Breaking into your neighbor's condo with a knife, duct tape and an 8 inch sexual device is no way to spend a Saturday night, even if you are the Fire Chief
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man with his monkey
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
NRA has compiled a list of every organization, journalist, actor, and corporation who funds the "anti-second amendment movement". What could possibly go wrong?
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Ex-Madam with a heart of gold for the disabled plans to open a brothel for them
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
It's one thing to break DC's gun laws when you're white and rich but if you're non-white and non-rich... oh you better believe you're going to get charged with a crime. Bonus: Defendant is an Army vet and applicant for US Marshal
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Social media activist sentenced to two years in prison for insulting the ugly, moronic, foul-smelling, and possibly overweight emir of Kuwait
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Thieves try to tunnel in to jewellers, emerge in KFC instead, decide to rob it anyway. Fark: Not the first time they ended up in the wrong store, while trying to rob that jewellry shop
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
When it comes to pulling a train, size really DOES matter
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Boston schools to assign more students to kindergarten quicker. Detective John Kimble insists that it's *not* a tumor
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
State finds new way to count eagles. What, are numbers too good for them?
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
More than 400 hunters have signed up to find and kill Burmese Pythons in the Everglades. Surely nothing can go wrong with this plan
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cautious cat
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Counter-revolution begins in Concord, Mass
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The Mummenschanz Mimes are celebrating their 40th anniversary and are embarking on a tour across the US for some reason
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Twitter is the ultimate knowledge blocker
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISTV)
 
 
 
Today's "Happily married with two kids hot female teacher arrested for having sex with a student" story comes from ... throws dart at map ... Columbia, South Carolina
source: wistv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCF Courier)
 
 
 
"More than 100 cheerleaders ran after a deer came crashing through a window"
source: wcfcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CF News 13)
 
 
 
Radio Shack robber remains on the loose, but since they asked for his zip code, he should be pretty easy to track down
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Three blind mice. Three blind mice. See how they got their sight restored. Did you ever see such a sight in your life as three now seeing mice?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
For The Children: NYC erases 'unsatisfactory' ratings of lousy teachers, if they agree to quit. Fark: Removing the negative rating helps them land jobs in other schools
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macomb Daily)
 
 
 
Authorities offer ice fishing tips. Tip #1: Don't
source: macombdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Never mind the "millennials," studies show that "Generation Duckface" is even more shallow, entitled, spoiled and narcissistic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Stolen statue likely in pieces, police say. This is a bust, you guys
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH Boston)
 
 
 
We're so sorry that your wife died of brain cancer. Here's your pink slip, please leave the building by 5 PM
source: www1.whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
China's ships frozen in coldest global warming in 30 years
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Other than being blind, what do you really know about Anne Frank?
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Seven different double-blind and placebo-controlled studies conducted over the past five years show the DEA is lying when they claim marijuana has no accepted medical use
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Tokyo's last street-level view of Mount Fuji is about to be obscured. I don't see what they did there
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Not news: Australian mother finds six-foot python in house. News: wrapped around her two-year-old daughter. FARK: mother demands python be released, unharmed
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Elderly nun loses her Mojo after animal control officer swiped Chihuahua during of tug-of-war over the pooch
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Daily Camera)
 
 
 
You might have too much time on your hands if you organize a candlelight vigil to celebrate the life of a bull elk that wandered around your neighborhood. "All are welcome and the event is open to the public"
source: dailycamera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Oldest living US citizen relinquishes her title
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Because who doesn't look at Dolly Parton and think cowboy-and-pirate dinner theater?
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Apparently in New Zealand it's only natural to see bride and groom bare their affection
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you get your parents to watch your children for free, you're guilty of gran-sploitation
source: blogs.kidspot.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flight take off
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
How to make your man cave, pillow fort or tree house spy-proof
source: nation.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fairbanks Daily Newsminer)
 
 
 
Hotel in Alaska for sale. Comes with hot springs, northern lights, ghost
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
19-year-old Socialist wins spot on Board of Education, which is perfect, since he already knows everything
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The British and their bizarre view of Americans
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Megadeth's Dave Mustaine rages against Men's Wearhouse
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contra Costa Times)
 
 
 
Government approves stench monitoring system to warn people. Sorry, not for New Jersey's neighbors
source: contracostatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Never threaten suicide in front of the Surprise police
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ambassador to Colombia resigns after Christmas embassy orgy ends with whores stealing phones, laptops and pooping on the desks. Sounds like a typical Farc party to me
source: my.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTOO Juneau)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour, it's the first Livingston Stapler Company Presents show of 2013. Two hours of music hosted live by a Farker in Juneau, Alaska. LGT stream
source: ktoo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
In Belarus, internal security forces have solved an age-old riddle
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 05, 2013
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Cute 22-year-old brunette: Cannabis turned me into a thieving heroin addict with OCD, panic attacks (w/pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
You're a drunk female at a hockey game on New Year's Eve. There is only one thing to do
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Guess which state doesn't like service dogs
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
Google sends street view cars to capture Sandy aftermath. Hilarity ensues
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dumb: Serial burglar robs a flat. Dumber: He gets caught. FARK: Because he was wearing an electronic tag which records his movements
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fuel for future fire
source: msnbcmedia3.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Bad: Guy forgets his iPhone in a NY cab. Worse: Somebody swipes it and uses his online dating profile to troll for dates. Fark: He sets up a dating "honey trap" to catch the guy and get his phone back
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The flu tsunami has hit America. Open your mouth wide for the doctor and see if you're infected. If you were not vaccinated... well then, Buh bye
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Yet another reason why restaurants that will ban your snivelling, screaming snowflake are popular
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ric Romero reports on shocking breakthrough: Ordering food with "Salt" in the title are high in sodium, delicious
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
George Washington is perhaps the most well-known founding father. He was either lucky at times or a pure genius, here's why
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Air Force buys fleet of Camaros, chase cars that help U2 pilots land. In other news, Joe Biden has found his next job
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Reporter waits at busy service area to interview E-85 buyers, leaves after three hours without spotting any
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Brooklyn's biggest curmudgeon finally gets caught after calling 911 too many times on Williamsburg hipsters. Can you really blame him?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inland Valley Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
Father of Afghan vet finds & returns love letters stolen 40 years ago from WW2 vet & his wife, celebrates with In-N-Out: "He said there are a hell of a lot of Lloyd Michaels in the service. You're the only one that has a wife named Marian"
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Virginia brings the hammer down on hot female teachers having sex with their students, sentences Anna Michelle Walter to 12 whole months in prison, or about a tenth of what a male teachers have received just for sexting with female students
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SocialNewsDaily)
 
 
 
Social app shows which Congress members have accepted gun lobby cash, and "you can tweet these elected officials to demand gun control legislation, call them out for hypocrisy, or heck, tell them 'job well done' if you're fond of the 2nd"
source: socialnewsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
If you are up at about 3AM Sunday morning, go check out the Moon, Saturn, and the star Spica (in the Virgo constellation) forming a triangle
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Four people dead in hostage situation/shootout in Aurora, CO. Sadly, this is NOT a repeat
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: design labels for alcoholic beverages that would be produced by a Fark-owned brewery/distillery
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
More proof cats are better pets than dogs: a dog may guard your house, but a cat will help you break out of prison
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Four people leap out of truck before it plunges over cliff. That is *so* 1980s
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Quit worrying about your assault rifle. The real and now threat from the government is to your pizza
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
15 year old girl finds out her name is not on the approved list. Is now officially referred to only as "Girl". Tarzan fails to see the problem
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contests
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
City officials argue over whether to remove stop signs at nonexistent intersection
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
The CHiPs are down: California Highway Patrol announces job openings for the first time in 3 years
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
According to a new study, we all have multiple personality disorder
source: healthland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
New slot machine based on Aladdin features "a chair that tosses you from right to left as Aladdin navigates around buildings in pursuit of the genie." Which is clearly what senior citizens want in a slot machine
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dear lord ......NOOOOOOOOO
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Clash will occur if US troops stay in Afghanistan after 2014, Taliban militants warn. If we go, there will be trouble, and if we stay, it will be double. Sharif don't like it. We fought the law, and the law won. Excuse me, London's calling
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Headline: "Happy Hookers Help Homeless." Homeless hombres hoping horny hooker heaven help have hellish heartbreak
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macomb Daily)
 
 
 
Boy's Christmas gift of $100 bill turns out to be counterfeit. Ol' Ben had the gout, I see
source: macombdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Day)
 
 
 
There were some men from Mashantucket / With $800K in their bucket / The FBI came / To ruin their game / And say, "You're arrested, now suck it"
source: theday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Arizona wants to ban fake identities on the internet, haven't thought their cunning plan all the way through considering the sheer amount of Derp their state spews upon the world would now have their names attached to it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Pulitzer-winning food critic Jonathan Gold lists top 10 L.A. dining picks of past year. If you love obscure food trucks, pork buns, foie gras, and bacon, you're set
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Another father quivers at the thought of how close his precious snowflake came to accidentally seeing a naked human body. "If she would have saw those, it would have, I mean God, I'm glad she didn't, I don't know what I would have done"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
No matter how badly you wish to speak with your neighbor because you think his son took your daughter's phone, if he's not answering the door you don't get to set his son's sneakers on fire in an attempt to smoke them out
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Just because you don't want to waste hours at the DMV doesn't mean you can just paint your picture on your drivers license. "My face is flushed and I am having a bad hair day"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Woman wins $1200 and a free trip at casino
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
○_○ → ─_─ → ○_○ = |||||| ☥ ?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Warm up your car while shopping? You best believe that will get you a beat down from Seattle Police
source: seattletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
You know it's a scorcher in Australia when it's just too damn hot for people to go to the bar for a beer
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
You need to preregister in order to purchase with your credit card a $380 ticket to this year's Burning Man. Remember when this used to be about anti-establishment and non-conformity or something? "I love Burning Man"
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Subby's hometown is the most Hungover City in America. Really, though, what else is there to do? (Bonus: Not a slideshow)
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these corny girls
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Your tax dollars at work: the Library of Congress is collecting the random musings of twits on the internet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Man who escaped from jail found wearing a beret and glasses, using a cane. Authorities say he would have gotten away clean if everyone didn't hate smug hipsters
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Blind dog gets the greatest gift when he gets the world's first seeing-eye cat just in time for Caturday
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Now that the term "Asperger's Syndrome" will soon cease to exist, some who claim to have the disease fear the hours of internet research they'll have to do to self-diagnose a new disorder to explain the fact that they're just social misfits
source: today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ottawa Citizen)
 
 
 
Canadian John Sheardown who was awarded the "caterpillar" card after he crawled to a pub for a whiskey after breaking both his legs in WWII has died. He also hid 6 Americans in his house in Tehran after the embassy was stormed
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After quake, only six inches wash up on Vancouver shore. At least it wasn't a foot
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
World's former fattest man loses an incredible 46 stone, that translates to roughly half an Adele for you Americans
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Hooch kills nine people. Turner inconsolable
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Five travel destinations in the US growing in popularity that you wouldn't expect. Your mom's bedroom topped out at #6
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona's version of the Casey Anthony trial, only hotter
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
New study says that the stress-relieving benefits of nicotine are a myth. Oh, really? Is that so? Then how come I feel like strangling people with an extension cord when I go without nicotine?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
"When you got five bullets in you, it makes you kind of disoriented"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Private prison is charging thousands of dollars for rule infractions like "an unkempt appearance and not making eye contact." I'm sorry. Did I say prison? I meant Charter School
source: tv.msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 04, 2013
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Courts in Florida split on the most burning question of our time: whether motorists should be subjected to stop-and-search simply because they repainted their car a new color
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Philadelphia)
 
 
 
A Pennsylvania court has ruled that home sellers don't have to disclose if their property was the site of a murder or suicide. Radon, on the other hand, SERIOUS BUSINESS
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illinois Times)
 
 
 
"911, what's your emergency?" "Whahawahawahawhawha" "Oh hi Father Donovan. Yes, we'll send an officer down to the church to help you out of the handcuffs and ball gag"
source: illinoistimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
FARK Photoshop Review 2012 .... now on YouTube
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Over 1 million Britons have been plagued by vomiting and diarrhea this winter. This is not an article about cuisine
source: phenomena.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Doctor eats world's hottest curry, starts seeing demons
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Utah City Renames Street Due to Sexual Connotation." What could it possibly be? Boner Ave.? Hershey Way? Clam Circle? *clicks link* Huh
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
England: the legal reason we stop Christians from wearing crosses, but not Muslims from wearing hijabs is SHUT UP AND DO WHAT WE SAY
source: blogs.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
On this episode of Hoarders: investigators find trash, dirty diapers, cockroaches, and missing child in woman's apartment
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Zak the Labrador would like to thank the Internet for his rescue
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this aqua equus
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Official regulations have now made it much more difficult for your boss to fire you for complaining about your job online. You hear that, Mr. Bigglesworth, you toupee-wearing indecisive shiat-for-brains?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Give me a few minutes, I have to shave my eyeball
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark Quiz? On a Friday? Surely you can't be serious
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
American Eagle pilot arrested after an alcohol test revealed he was over the Minnesota 0.04% legal limit for pilots. In related news, PILOTS CAN LEGALLY FLY AFTER DRINKING in Minnesota
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Man dies climbing abroad. This is why short people shouldn't date tall people
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Public Broadcasting)
 
 
 
18-year-old posts to Facebook "Drivin drunk ... classsic ;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P" What could possibly go wrong?
source: opb.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Meet the madam who pimped out Olympian-turned-hooker Suzy Favor Hamilton
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pet's profile
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Facebook to test out free mobile calls *cheers* In Canada only *crickets*
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACLU)
 
 
 
Updated NDAA: 166 prisoners will remain at Guantanamo Bay pretty much forever
source: aclu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(103.5 KISS FM)
 
 
 
Duty-free liquor + dude on a plane + sky law + duct tape =
source: 1035kissfm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WTVN)
 
 
 
Ahh...the ol' "beer made me do it" defense. Nice, very nice
source: 610wtvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Search team rescuing teens stuck on snowy Goat Mountain. My god, we'll have to send a search team after them, and then a grammar team after the headline writer
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Thank goodness he didn't take the elevator
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Wikipedia editors take down meticulously researched and cited article about the 17th century Dutch-Indian war known as the "Bicholim Conflict" after discovering it never actually happened
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chevy Volt sales triple in 2012, bringing the total to ... 3
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Your dreams about The Price Is Right can all come true. Really
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Man stabbed with a sword pulled from a walking cane. No word if the Pennsylvania tag was still attached to the cane
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
Mandatory life jackets for dogs? Colorado's on it, y'all
source: blogs.westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(White House)
 
 
 
Finally, a petition worth signing: Create a Joe Biden reality show
source: petitions.whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC 12 Richmond)
 
 
 
Leukemia patient hopes Facebook will save his life
source: nbc12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Vibrating toothbrush causes commotion at Atlanta airport
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Back woods law from 1872 states that it's only rape if the woman you tricked is married. Difficulty: California
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
The spray-on-tanned versions of Gollum and Frodo fight over their Precious
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
"I'm not afraid if they shoot at me or that they might kill me. I'm a combination of samurai and kamikaze." And dumbass. Don't forget dumbass
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
So it turns out January 3rd was the most popular day for couples to file for divorce. January 4th is also a landmark day, generally known as "I've finally got that nagging harpy shrew/asshole off my back, now it's time to find some strange" Day
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
According to this article, 2013 will be the year you return to MySpace, re-open your Yahoo account, start watching golf, and buy your father's car. Oh, and you're a Republican now, too
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
New data reveals bad language plays a role in about four out of every 10 firings. Fark
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
It looks as if President Obama's secret plan to--OH MY GOD A COYOTE KILLED A PUPPY
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this thing
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Radio Liberty Moscow, which survived throughout the Cold War and helped bring down Communism, has finally gone silent
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
It's that time of year again. Time for the media to fill a slow news day with "shave ice"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Woman tried to escape from the cops by using the old 'I need to go to the bathroom' ruse. "Aleasha exited the bathroom and was covered with a white chalk substance, consistent with the ceiling tile material"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Female Second Life avatars show twice as much skin as male avatars. It's almost as if they were controlled by men pretending to be women
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Restaurant trends 2013: Out with bacon-flavored chocolate and mini-hamburgers. In with coconut milk pancakes and low-gluten Peruvian food. You guys go ahead without me
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: Homeless man found dead under overpass. Not news: Heir to part of $300 million fortune dies. Fark: Same person
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US Department of Energy)
 
 
 
Those low-flying helicopters hovering over DC? Just the National Nuclear Security Administration doing a routine check of background radiation levels. Routine. Nothing to worry about. All is well
source: nnsa.energy.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
"Des Moines police say arms are showing up at high schools." Feet must be close behind
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Big Lead)
 
 
 
Gross, not news: Rex Ryan photographed topless while lounging by the pool. Weird, not news: he has a large tattoo of his wife on his arm. Fark: She appears to be Tebowing while wearing a Sanchez jersey
source: thebiglead.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Al Jazeera buys Al Gore's 'Current TV'. Sign on the building that says "Owned by Al" will not have to be changed
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
School administration reverses decision to not allow Elvis musical at school. However students will only be allowed to dance from the waist up
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Hugo Chavez is going to be just fine. It's just some unexpected infected lung bleeding
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
The old "I'm the good twin, the evil twin did that" defense works better if you're actually a twin
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Ex-gay porn star claims that gay men anally give birth to the devil after a hard night of pounding the ring of fire
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
ATTENTION CITIZENS: It is now perfectly legal to give a cop the middle finger. So, have at it and Godspeed
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Curiosity rover on Mars is shown studying rocks, soil, a flower. Wait....what?
source: photoblog.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
IMF: "Did we say austerity would help Greece? We meant hurt Greece, badly. Sorry for the confusion"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this girl in Katmandu
source: blogs.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Aristotle sex manual banned for 200 years to be auctioned. Disappointingly not entitled "Aristotle: Full Throttle"
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sam Donaldson goes full Lohan, separates from his wife of 29 years just a month after his DUI
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Famous heist movie titles: The Bank Job, The Italian Job. Not a famous heist movie title: The Hand Job
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Labspaces.net)
 
 
 
Scientists take a break from curing cancer, decide to figure out why wool sweaters are so goddamned itchy
source: labspaces.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
You know your apartment has a bedbug problem when you can scoop up spoonfuls of them from your couch. "We've already thrown away 10 couches"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
All nations have a way of marking the new year. In France they torch 1,200 cars in one night
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Georgia law doesn't allow Governor to remove Sheriff facing 32 felony counts because the citizens elected him AFTER he was charged. Seriously, Georgia?
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Stripper who was doing "performance art" on a busy highway was arrested for causing a "traffic disturbance." Not for being naked; no, it was for tossing a traffic cone at a random motorist and spitting in his face
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Old and busted: The Indian in the cupboard. New hotness: The pedophile in the cupboard
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Crime rates dramatically dropped in the 2000s because of. A) Fewer immigrants. B) Increased police presence. C) Unleaded gasoline
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 03, 2013
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Allstate: You're in good hands after Hurricane Sandy. Staten Island couple: The hell we are, you're low-balling us -- and adding insult to injury you're using images of our ravaged home in your TV ads
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
In Florida, where nothing is holier than property values, what better way to get back at your neighbors than by spray painting your house with graffiti?
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The wheels on the house go round and round, round and round, round and round
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
A contest where amateurs hunt in a swamp for snakes that grow up to 18 feet long has just kicked off. In Florida. I don't see what could POSSIBLY go wrong
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Worst Marilyn Monroe tattoo EVAR. Bonus: Worst tattooist EVAR
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Poking holes in your girlfriend's condoms? That's a jailin
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sparking Spaniard
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Alfie Fripp 98, thought to be the longest-serving British prisoner of war, passes away. Damn, you would have thought he'd be freed by now
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charlotte Observer)
 
 
 
"Ericcson claimed he was so distraught over the snake's death, he shot up the large cabinet that contained his Dale Earnhardt collection"
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The science behind why you are likely to think you're going to evolve, and become a charming, witty saint, but in reality will just turn out to be another boring asshole drinking beer at a Fark party
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Search halted for escaped convict. Fark: From 1969
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
High school bans Elvis Presley's music for being too sexually suggestive. This is not a repeat from 1956
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Athens Banner Herald)
 
 
 
First Banks Co. Georgia baby of 2013 born in Walmart bathroom
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click2Houston)
 
 
 
Man complains he had to live 8 days without power. Pfft. He should try being married
source: click2houston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
Woman gets profitable revenge on a boyfriend who dumped her and then skipped the country. By selling the locations of his secret (and successful) fishing spots
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Researchers discover Bonobos prefer to share food, handies with strangers. Yes really
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Argentina: "Give us the precious". England: "No". Argentina: "But we WANTSSS IT"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Connecticut Newspaper features a gun show ad next to a Sandy Hook article. Let's see what happens
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The incredible story of what happened when two gay men were harassed while waiting for pizza
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cobalt blue cloud
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
State Department spokesperson calls out Fox News reporter for asking exactly why Hillary Clinton can't seem to testify about Bengazi. She even suggested the appropriate tag
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Hurricane Sandy may have savaged Delaware's beaches, but it took the one-two punch of Hurricanes Biden and Obama to visit the financial devastation of the failed Fisker electric car plant upon the taxpayers who live there
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
GOD does NOT accept CREDIT CARDS
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
The US Navy may have just made the "Reefer Madness" of the "bath salts" craze\epidemic (warning: scary imagery and dubstep music)
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Open up wide - Bull testicle beer will soon be coming
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Senator Mark Kirk on his remarkable recovery from a near-fatal stroke: "I felt like there were three angels in the room. And, interestingly, they had New York accents"
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Man sticks a $1.29 Honey Bun down his pants which in turn cost him $1,000.00 to bail out of jail. No word on the condition of the sticky Honey Bun
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Think the smoking, beer guzzling, and shirtless beach pics already made Obama look like the least presidential president ever? Wait until you get a look at his new souvenir shop
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal News)
 
 
 
Suburban NY newspaper published names and addresses of gun permit holders. Some people had a problem with this, like the guy who mailed them suspicious white powder
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Knock, knock" "Who's there?" "Facepunch" "Facepunch who?"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The Canadian government wants nickel back
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
UFO Spotted by 'World's Biggest Sceptic'
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Let's talk about who really buys the AR-15
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Teen girls drug their mom and dad's milkshakes with sleeping pills so that they can use the internet
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
US wishes top Taliban commander a happy new years with hellfire fireworks
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Columnist says violent media is poisoning the nation's soul, but ultraviolence is still better than dirty, dirty naked boobies
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Marijuana grow operation discovered in Kill Devil Hills, which would be a great name for a band, man
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Three grenades found in Downtown Disney trashcan. Roger Rabbit unavailable for comment
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
What's more terrifying than lumber flying through your car windshield? Probably nothing
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Minecraft pickaxe can now open a real life beer bottle
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
All grown up at age 22. Now it's time to be a man and rob a convenience store. Getaway plan? Call mom for a ride home
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
FBI: more people get killed with hammers than guns. Still unknown: whether more houses are built with firearms or carpentry tools, how many people seduced by false equivalencies
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Damn Subway, this sandwich is spicy...kinda like you put some sort of creamy Sriracha on it--oh, you did?
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Class action suit against illegal red light cameras ends in usual fashion: corporation is happy, lawyers are happy, victims get $6 if they fill out the paperwork correctly
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Speculation rife that Best Korea may have a new littlUn
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Excuse me ma'am, is your tail wagging out of control, or are you just happy to see me?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Monsanto cucumbers cause genital baldness -- Immediately banned in Nova Scotia, imported to Malibu
source: thelapine.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
srevres eht tih sllorcS aeS daeD ehT
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Quick, somebody wake up Thatcher
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
British bus driver rushes son to hospital in double-decker. Subby objects to hero tag having Stars & Stripes and insists on Union Jack hero tag. France surrenders
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop your predictions for 2013
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
News: Denny's manager turns away five men with sidearms, explaining they could not eat at the restaurant if they were armed. FARK: They were on-duty, badge-wearing police detectives
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Anarchists unite to show support for accused arsonist. With photo that demonstrates the need for government regulated hairstyles
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Someone cracked the case: DIY Doritos Locos Tacos
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Researchers claim they have figured out how to get earworms out of your head. Subby thinks their findings are B-A-N-A-N-A-S
source: bodyodd.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
There are several acceptable ways to deal with a six-year-old who called your girlfriend's son a name. Punching him is not one of them. "The child flies approximately four feet in the air and lands directly on his buttocks and slides up to wall''
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Prostate cancer just got worse
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Naked man shot after attacking a Rottweiler and the dog's owner. Or, as it's known in Miami, "Wednesday"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
Middle school teacher arrested for letting three sons get drunk and high, shoot shotguns, steal AK-47s, fight, and generally terrorize neighborhood. Neighbor can't believe she's a teacher since she has never been accused of having sex with students
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
New North Korean pictures. Looking at 12 and 23 together will both break your heart and make you want to punch your monitor. It's what the unicorns would have wanted
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Sister, 19, accidentally shoots dead brother in the head while posing with gun for Facebook picture
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Switzerland no longer a safe gun-toting mecca
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
FW:FW:FW:FW:FW: THE iNVASION HAZ BEGUN - TERORISTS NOW BUYING OUR TV STATIONS11111
source: livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 400: "Lights, Camera, Caption". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 02, 2013
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Suspicious device found outside a bank on Dynamite Blvd
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Bank of Canada won't discuss new melty $100 bills because of [shakes Magic 8 ball...] national security
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bizarre pictures show 19th Century 'photoshopping'. Pixels Schmixels
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snow throw
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Suitcase full of frozen lobster returned to its rightful owner
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
A third wave blitz of tax tsunami will wash over Americans with a cavalcade of unintended consequences and badly mixed metaphors
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Here's a really great idea that's sure to get us tons of great publicity: Let's invite the relatives of the Aurora massacre victims to the grand re-opening of the movie theater in which their loved ones perished
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Estately)
 
 
 
House not selling? Throw in the baby and we have a deal (see photos)
source: estately.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wilkes-Barre Times Leader)
 
 
 
OMG like, there's hardly any traffic..yeah, I know. it was awesome. Hold on. WHT R U DOIN? NUTTN. JES DRIVIN. So anyway, (slurp, glug glug), like Jason was being such a pain, ya know...what is that? Go AWAY...Stoopid drivers with their lights
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The most important question of 2013 answered: Can zombies get drunk?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Cops raid cockfight in progress. 12 arrested, sticky
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
"Water appeared to be pouring into the Electric Fetus"
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Getting Robocalls? If so, you could get $50,000 by reporting the menace
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this board balance
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
We all get sick and tired of hearing excuses, here are 5 popular ones that do not have any meaning at all
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
The 2013 disease that will wipe out the human race is: *drum roll* MALARIA
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHNS Fox 21)
 
 
 
Face of Jesus appears on a door in a church in South Carolina, officials say they must remove the nails and doorknob of thorns before the door can be replaced
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Englishman wakes up from a stroke only able to speak fluent Welsh, a language he barely knew before. Well at least they THINK it's Welsh, it could be he's just still having the stroke, it's kinda hard to tell
source: main.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Florida lawmakers claim they didn't communicate with lobbyists before important vote, fail to realize that text messages count as communication
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
Man accused of pointing laser at sheriff's helicopter admits he was "just being dumb." No one disagrees
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Saudi religious leaders call for gang rape to meet needs of fighters in Syria. But slow down there fellas, they must be over 14 and divorced or widowed
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Ronald Reagan's 1956 "Home of the Future" for sale. $5 million. Has state-of-the-art garbage disposal, windows, nice bomb shelter
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Iran upgrades to Photoshop 2.0
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Florida zoo to feature zip line over the tiger habitat. What could go wrong?
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Identical twins do a lot of things together, like go shopping, wear the same clothes, give birth on the same day
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nerd Approved)
 
 
 
Q: What's better than putting large googly eyes on random objects? A: Putting large blinking googly eyes on random objects
source: nerdapproved.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
You know the stripper deserves a little something extra when she attempts a stunt during a lapdance and ends up in the hospital in critical condition
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Spirit Airlines plane clips the tail of another plane. Oh great, here come a rudder fee
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The increase in deer in Britain has caused a lack of shrubbery, especially ones only slightly higher than the other so you get a two-level effect with a little path running down the middle
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
There comes a time in every man's life when he asks himself the big questions. Who am I? Why am I here? Why is the car parked up on top of our neighbor's car?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
Not News: Person pays for next person's coffee in drive through. Fark: Chain of Random Act of Kindness lasts for 3 hours and 228 orders
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
More than a century after Carrie Nation started the Temperance Movement, Kansas may allow liquor to be sold in grocery stores. Your move, Pennsylvania
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Robots don't destroy jobs, though they do steal pills from senior citizens
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Six year old suspended for bringing assault finger to school
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Pay no attention to the armed guard in the classroom, citizen
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
The ménage à trois was going swimmingly. Then the baseball bat came out
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Turn off your mind, relax, and float down stream. You are not dying, you are just toking at the Pot Club
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chavez conscious, still able to fight off pillow
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man punched female driver at traffic light, got naked, laid down in road. Typical Florida New Year's celebration
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
How can you avoid spreading the flu? Perhaps President Madagascar has some thoughts on the matter
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Amazon reviewers call the revolutionary Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer the greatest thing since the wheel, penicillin or the iPhone
source: digitallife.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
To all my fellow Port Authority Bus Terminal riders, I'm sorry we had the beans special last night -- Love, NJ
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Would you like to see the Eiffel Tower...made out of bacon?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Colleges are now helping students scrub their online footprints before graduation, so feel free to post those pictures from when you blew an entire frathouse to ring in the new year
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big brain
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Link to a story in an Irish newspaper? That'll be €300, please, because they own the copyright to a link to their material. It'd take a lot of TotalFarkers to pay for that
source: mcgarrsolicitors.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Samsung unveils Roomba-like robot vacuum that conquers corners with the help of pop-out spinning blades... er, BRUSHES. Brushes. Definitely not blades. Sorry for the confusion. Please resume your lack of concern about domestic death robots
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
New BBC documentary reveals what Neil Armstrong actually saiYOU SHOULD KILL US ALL ON SIGHTd
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Mother gives her son an iPhone and a lesson in life
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Cake for EVERYBODY
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Online)
 
 
 
Drunken indoor frisbee with Mom never ends well
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
PROTIP: If you're growing 110 marijuana plants in your spare bedroom, you probably should think twice about calling the police to report a home invasion
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rockland County Times)
 
 
 
News: Print names and addresses of gun owners. Fark: Hire armed guards to protect your newspaper office
source: rocklandtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
High-fructose corn syrup - is there nothing it can't do?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Please, please, please let this be true
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pix11)
 
 
 
Guy asks liquor store clerk to watch his infant, while he runs out for a smoke. Hours later, he finally returns, drunk. Clerk actually gives him baby back. Guy proceeds to go lay down in middle of street with baby
source: pix11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 01, 2013
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
We're not saying potheads are bad at running a business, but Colorado's first recreational marijuana club officially closed a day after it officially opened
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
People are no longer waiting to get pushed in front of a subway in NYC, they're now laying on the tracks to sacrifice themselves to the subway gods
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Best father-in-law EVAR
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times of Israel)
 
 
 
The emaciated look is soooo last season
source: timesofisrael.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Finally, a new year's resolution worth keeping: Do less
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
What do you mean, you don't trust the apocalyptic predictions of a polygamist cult leader serving life in jail for sexual assault on children who's got it wrong before?
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy getting some air
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
2013 starts with the usual "Wealth is Evil" speech, given by the head of a multi-billion dollar empire, while perched in a gilded throne, and wearing hand-embroidered silk robes and custom-fitted silk slippers
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Post Office delivers calendar for the new year. And that new year is 1950
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Fourteen years on the job without a blemish, Town Clerk is put on trial by the Chief of Police for stealing a hundred dollars. Of course, he didn't bother to check whether the money was actually missing
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Check out the top 7 things of all time
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
He always wondered how his roommate got the nickname 'Peter Gabriel.' Until the night his roommate attacked him with a sledgehammer
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Twenty-two-year-old blonde beauty loves dressing up as Barbie, defies "airhead" accusations by getting two university degrees (w/LIKE THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GOD pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fiat builds a monster truck by putting its "Panda" body on a Jeep CJ7 chassis. All it needs to be street legal is a huge pair of truck nuts, a gun rack, and "No Fat Chicks" bumpersticker
source: cars.aol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Our first "naked, sword-wielding maniac" story of 2013 comes courtesy of San Jose, CA
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Man attacked by 3 coyotes in own backyard. Survives thanks to failed ACME products
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
"Jill Doe's" $100 million lawsuit dropped in Connecticut
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Blood of French king Louis XVI, executed by guillotine in 1793, discovered in a gourd in Italy
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Researchers in Spain say female university students are bigger binge drinkers than their male counterparts -- making it harder for them to know if their date is the right Juan
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Washington state privatized the sale of hard liquor last year, believing it would drive prices down. Take a wild frickin' guess what happened. Who knew people like booze and money, and getting more money off of deregulated booze?
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handgun handling instruction
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Eagle)
 
 
 
"No other contemporary text on sexuality has transformed American culture the way that this series has," says the professor of an upcoming college class on "50 Shades of Grey." Class will reportedly be held in the red room
source: theeagleonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Happy Birthday, Internet. May you waste our time with silly cat pictures and hardcore pornography for decades to come
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The Adlington Shroud. The latest in a long line of shrouds, with perfectly reasonable explanations of how they were created, to be called a "Miracle"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Take my Walmart parking space? That's a rammin'
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Court says you can't sue amusement park when bumper cars go bump. Yes, this was in America
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Are you pondering what I'm pondering?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(About.com)
 
 
 
Because cyclists aren't bad enough. Illinois set to classify inline skaters as "vehicles" and allow them to to skate on the streets, ignore traffic laws
source: inlineskating.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Canadian man sets record for seeing most number of unique species of birds in one year, not having sex
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
You can no longer openly carry your rifle into a coffee shop in California, and the next illegal alien to run you over might have a legal driver's license. Happy 2013
source: timelines.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pediatricians' group says kids need more recess time at school, this story brought to you in part by Sally's lemonade stand
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Cruz Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you fall onto the highway from a partybus in a drunken fistfight after a Brad Paisley concert, you may be a deadneck
source: santacruzsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Want to eat just a little something this year? Here's your essential guide to Dim Sum
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frosty box
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
NYC mayor blames crime increase on iPhone thefts, recommends deterring robberies by telling crooks that your wireless provider is AT&T
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
$290 million Shell oil drilling platform that was being towed to harbor broke loose, was resecured, then broke loose again, was rescured again, has broken loose again and will crash into shore
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Partier)
 
 
 
Appropriate New Year's Morning thread: how do you deal with a hangover? And keep it down, please, my head is pounding
source: i.chzbgr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
When caught, these bandits will be called "the Unflushables"
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Protip: Driving your SUV through a TV station's front door won't win you the traffic reporter's heart
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
NewsFlash
 
Shots fired in Sacramento during NYE celebration, multiple people killed. Fireworks cancelled and Old Town Sacramento being evacuated. Subby on site (Updated article w/video)
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
For the last time, running a daycare/meth manufacturing facility is never a good idea
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Best Leader surprises the hell out of everyone by ringing in the New Year asking to remarry Worst Korea
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Hey, I can see my house from up here.....and my trailer being stolen
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 31, 2012
(Salem Statesman-Journal)
 
 
 
Just under the wire: contender for Mother of the Year award goes to mom who smoked meth with her freezing, nearly naked baby in the car with her...with BONUS "half-brother boyfriend"
source: statesmanjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FOX6Now)
 
 
 
Newtown, CT officials: "Please stop sending us stuff"
source: fox6now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LiveJournal)
 
 
 
Fark Coloring Contest: Genghis Khan
source: ic.pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2012 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and Wordplay headlines
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
You don't have to be in Florida to drunkenly fire a shotgun into your neighbor's mobile home. With denim-coat mugshot goodness
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Homeless sleeping on the park bench. New hotness: Homeless sleeping inside graves after pushing stones off the top of tombs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter