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Sun December 16, 2012
(The Blaze)
 
 
 
Indiana man with 47 guns and ammunition worth over $100,000 arrested after threatening to "kill as many people as he could" at local elementary school (w/mugshot)
source: theblaze.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Asahi Shimbun)
 
 
 
Ain't no party like a Bangkok office party 'cause a Bangkok office party don't stop until 30 people get injured in a melee that involves glasses, bottles, and homemade grenades
source: ajw.asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Recalculating... recalculating... recalculating
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
Photoshop this 'Best Father Frost' contest
source: blogs.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Caption this really crappy job
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Japanese election results are as confusing as their porn. Upstart Democratic Party of Japan has been defeated by the conservative-leaning Liberal Democratic Party
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'Tis the holiday season in England, and what better way to celebrate than with more binge drinking and fighting. W/pic of yobs and chavs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Twinkies making a comeback? It's more likely than you think
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Acre by acre, two billionaire brothers are quietly buying up the state of Montana
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ball and tall wall
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're trying to say on this Berlin subway so here's my Shetland pony
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Michigan union protesters' attack on "hot dog guy's" cart backfires, to the tune of $33,000. I love the smell of victory hotdogs in the morning
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Watching internet porn can cause memory loss. In other news, watching internet porn can cause memory loss
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
As the deadline for the Mayan apocalypse nears, one group of people is oddly calm and thinks the planning and worrying is hilarious. That group, of course, is the Mayans
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Mum hits the roof after buying a tacky children's toy at a Christmas festival which plays a song containing the F-word
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The New York Times wins the prize for dumbest headline of the day: "An Afghan Mystery: Why Are Large Shipments of Gold Leaving the Country?"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive)
 
 
 
Two years after the $2.7 billion James Zadroga Act was signed into law, in order to provide healthcare to stricken 9/11 responders, not a single penny has been paid out
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British health service is trying to figure out what to do about people who are sick on weekends
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
Rare photos of Best Korea shows life beyond the 38th parallel, no Unicorns
source: japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Man in duck mask robs gas station, flies away before authorities arrive
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just when you thought they couldn't sink any lower, Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket Sandy Hook Elementary School
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Police find 170 bags of heroin inside a woman's bra. Yes, that's some kind of bust
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
What're you in for? Uh... illegally importing whale tusks. *hairy eyeball* ...and creating a nuisance?
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Woman puts injured "cat" in her car, considers new career in the baseball umpire arts
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
SNL proves again that they know the best way to respond to a national tragedy
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AutoEvolution)
 
 
 
Inspired by "The Dark Knight Rises," Nissan creates a special-edition car no superhero or billionaire playboy would ever be seen in
source: autoevolution.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop these watchers from windows
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kennebec Journal)
 
 
 
Real Christmas tree vs. a fake one. For those that pick fake to be environmentally friendly, you're barking up the wrong tree
source: kjonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Standard Digital (Kenya))
 
 
 
Discovery of coal, oil and titanium deposits has Kenyans wondering whether their country might be able to produce something other than a US President
source: standardmedia.co.ke   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If your Myers-Briggs personality type is INTJ, that means you're introverted, intuitive, thinking, and will probably judge this article to be full of shiat
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
If you want to get rid of bats on your property in Australia, you can legally use lights, noise, netting, electric shock, poison, hot chilli spray, and now guns
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The very reason why we reach for the sky and build taller buildings: Penis envy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man's annual Christmas light display features music by Trans-Siberian Orchestra, synchronized to strobe lights, lasers, fog machines and 20-foot-high flames. Subby approves and thanks god he doesn't live next door
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me
source: anarchistsoccermom.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MainStreet)
 
 
 
Just in time for the holidays - your guide to regifting
source: mainstreet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
♫How does it feel, To be without a home, From a rolling stone? ♫
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOAT Albuquerque)
 
 
 
You can now visit Belgium and spend the night in the world's largest colon. So can your Mom. Wait, how is that possible?
source: koat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TuneIn)
 
 
 
Coming up at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 2 hours of music hosted live by a Farker in Juneau, Alaska. LGT tunein.com stream, or go to KRNN.org
source: tunein.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Zero who traded drugs for candy doesn't get a payday, instead gets sentenced to prison, where fellow inmates won't be able to stop snickering
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 15, 2012
(Newser)
 
 
 
The morning of one school shooting, another may have been averted: Police arrested a teenager in northern Oklahoma yesterday for allegedly planning a Columbine-style attack on his high school
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
California mall on lockdown due to shooting that will happen tomorrow .. or ABC should make sure their clock is right
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 6 Birmingham)
 
 
 
Old and busted: local cities prohibit smoking in restaurants and bars. New hotness: federal government prohibits smoking in apartment complexes
source: myfoxal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hot blonde high school teacher forced to resign over: A) Being a nude model, B) Sex with students, or C) Production of Legally Blonde musical
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this green glow
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
The Houston Zoo uses a horse track, so their cheetahs can get a good cardio workout
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Stunning blonde TV reporter, ghost, captured on film in the most haunted house in America (w/video)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Australia seeks more super hornets -- possibly to compliment their super spiders, super snakes, and super sharks
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Weekly)
 
 
 
Federal government terminates quadriplegic's disability housing assistance because she uses medical marijuana for chronic pain
source: boulderweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Nigerian governor and former national security adviser dead in helicopter crash. Families to seek strangers on net to help them access $30million in hidden bank accounts
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Police identify bictim of fatal pen stabbing
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Today's special: seafood. Really, really fresh seafood
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Good: Batman avoided more jail time. Bad: secret identity revealed. Fark: wearing costume confined to city limits, must appologize to the Commissioner
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Survey says "Men think they're more attractive the more they drink" Additional research to be done on wetness of water
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beach workout
source: nba.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Just in time for the destruction of Earth, Noah's ark is complete, again
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Cool: Man proposes to his girlfriend. Cooler: In 150 yard long letters to been seen by airplane. FARK: He spelled her name wrong
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Massachusetts voters overwhelmingly want pot dispensaries in somebody else's backyard
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 42 Birmingham)
 
NewsFlash
 
Gunman enters Alabama hospital, opens fire. Injures three before being killed by police. Begun, the copycat shootings have
source: cbs42.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Human remains found in a parking lot in Leicester, UK, have been confirmed as King Richard III, who was buried at the site in 1485
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHON2 Honolulu)
 
 
 
Surfboard washes up on shore, Coast Guard cutter and helicopter search for missing surfer until she sees pictures of her lost board on the news and calls them. This is why you put your contact info on things
source: khon2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Amazing photo of the Pinwheel Galaxy, 600 million light-years away in the constellation Serpens
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
NewsFlash
 
Hillary Clinton faints, sustains concussion. James Harrison fined 50k by the NFL
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Land Line)
 
 
 
Maryland lawmaker proposes to fine companies and cities that issue bogus speed camera fines
source: landlinemag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
University of California abandons new "yellow dot chasing its tail" logo in favor of old "dead tree and pentagram" logo
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Muskogee Phoenix)
 
 
 
The best video of dogs collecting money for the Salvation Army kettle drive you'll see this holiday season
source: muskogeephoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iceland Review)
 
 
 
Dear Penthouse Magazine: I never thought it would happen to me, but there I was, a tourist in Iceland, when these two hot Icelandic women I met in a bar convinced me to strip down naked and run around the city, because well, it's tradition
source: icelandreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Burbs)
 
 
 
The monks who brew the best beer in Belgium (if not the world) needed to renovate their abbey, so they made it available for sale in 21 US states. Once. For one day. At $85 a six-pack. Any Farkers get any?
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It's the old story. Swan meets swan. Swans have a tiff after seven years. Swans reconcile their differences & move back in together
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
If a cop tells you not to trespass at the local Circle K, those orders do not expire after 45 minutes
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you're a mild-mannered substitute teacher, the last thing you need is to be the sole heir to your reclusive hoarder of a cousin. Unless, as in this case, he hoarded two wheelbarrows worth of gold coins
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Photo District News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this underground orange
source: pdnphotooftheday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
How to explain the Mayan doomsday to your child. You know, in case you can't find any serious situations in real life that are sad and unpleasant to discuss
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
School bans kids from singing 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' in Christmas concert -- after one complaint
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Fishing guide jokingly claims in his logbook that he caught tuna and blue whales on a river outing, but Fish and Game isn't laughing
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Virginia rules that condo boards and HOAs can't fine rules violators. Is this what freedom smells like?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Since it is that time of the year, here is your list of the 30 Most Important Cats of 2012. Yes, Lil Bub is on there, and so is Tarder Sauce (aka Grumpy Cat). And they got #1 right for once. Includes lots of pics and videos, just in time for Caturday
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Police doing a late-night probation check get wrong address, go to home of Maine militia head instead. Awkward
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The world has officially gone crazy. Need more proof? Check out the crazy people in this weeks mugshot round-up
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The 26 dustiest news stories of 2012
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Collector's Weekly)
 
 
 
People collect eight-track tapes. Some of them sell for $5,000, and there are even museums for them in Dallas, Texas, and Roxbury, New York
source: collectorsweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not News: Man stopped by police for expired registration. News: He is honest and tells officer "I don't have the money, It was either feed my kids or get my registration done." FARK: Cop hands the man a $100 bill inside his ticket
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The reason you pay so much for milk and bread at the supermarket is because the supermarket needs to overcharge you for everyday food items in order to afford to sell its alcohol at low, low prices
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Disneyland to showcase local microbrews within California Adventure theme park. It's a beer world after all
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 14, 2012
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Getting caught while faking a workers' comp injury is pretty bad, but it's worse when you get caught faking a workers' comp injury performing a sex act that couldn't be performed with said injury
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
In other news, Mike Huckabee is a total ass
source: livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Attention, hipsters who proclaim they have quit corporate jobs to enter "artisan economy" of "hyper-local" businesses selling "handmade" goods: you didn't invent that. "It's as old as selling eggs on the farmhouse porch. And it doesn't work"
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Fox News blames shooting on *shakes magic eight ball* Video Games
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Kmart @Kmart: Sale on toy guns #CTShooting #PrayforNewton ...What? Too soon?
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Road rage. New hotness: Shopping cart rage
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pair of sneakers
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 2 St. Louis)
 
 
 
School lunch lady honored for feeding student who couldn't afford his school lunches. Did I say honored? I meant fired
source: fox2now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
In 2013, we need to ensure these 32 people stay off of Facebook
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bismarck Tribune)
 
 
 
Woman who doesn't read Fark calls cops when her wallet is stolen during drug deal
source: bismarcktribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
World breathes a sigh of relief as Mike Tyson reveals: "I have no intention of becoming a woman"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bow-tied bicyclist
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Just in case you'd like to think of something other than what's currently dominating the news cycle, here's your Fark Weird News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Dog honks horn to alert humans to the horrible conditions he and a couple of cats were enduring
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Connecticut)
 
 
 
Connecticut school shooting thread, Part 3. Bring the ongoing discussion/bar fight here
source: connecticut.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Suicide bomber fails to kill any targets, wounds three, will get prorated 12 goats and a loose adulteress in heaven
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Where is the logic in Fortune 500 companies complaining about tax rates when their greater expense is lobbying costs?
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
'Stalking apps' could be banned in the US. 'Just go up and say something apps' recommended
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Little Green Footballs)
 
 
 
FoxNews reporter admits he started the fight with union members and edited the video to make them appear crazy
source: littlegreenfootballs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Headline of the day "Southwest Airlines owes passengers 5.8 million free beers"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Things we learned from the guy who invented the bar code: elevator music was controlled by the mafia
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
But now is not the time to talk about knife control
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Friskies)
 
 
 
Celebrities and their feline counterparts. Most look like coincidence, but it's hard to argue with #7 (Sponsored link)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
How bad of a criminal must you be when you have a gun and still fail in three separate carjacking attempts at the same parking lot?
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
UPDATE: 26 dead including 18 kids in CT school shooting. There are no words
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
I went to a bank and said 'Can you give me some money?' and they brought me whole bags full of money
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
12-year-old accused of being pregnant gives birth to 19 pound tumor (Warning: graphic image)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
If stealing copper wiring from a church is wrong, may God strike me....BOOM
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
This is a perfect example of why if you're a business manager, you should never allow yourself to post anything on Facebook if you've been drinking and watching TV
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Even the looming fiscal cliff can't distract the congress from reauthorizing warrantless wiretaps
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian Fair Trade Minister orders anti-vaccination group to change misleading name, still allowed to keep lying about everything else though
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
NewsFlash
 
Police respond to report of shooting at school in Newtown, Connecticut. Details still coming in, reports of one injured. DEVELOPING
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Florida becomes the first state to issue 1 million concealed gun licenses, since Texans say their permit to carry a hidden weapon is already granted by God
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Meth, before and after...#21 Holy Fark
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
If you're a 19-year-old college student being questioned by a cop, you aren't doing yourself any favors if you call the officer a peasant and inform him you belong to a fraternity that has money and lawyers to get you out of any situation
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New AP poll shows that even 61% of those who ain't none too sure about that there "Science" thing, still think global warming is real and temperatures are rising
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
If you've just been arrested for stabbing a roofer to death, try not to look so happy in your mugshot
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cancer had complications in Chavez removal surgery
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Whidbey News Times)
 
 
 
Just another week in Oak Harbor: Graffiti, noise violations, self-circumcision
source: whidbeynewstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hey Farkers, up your nose with a rubber hose (except you farkers in Vernon Country Wisconsin, where using electronic means to annoy people could land subby in jail for 30 days)
source: popehat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heartland Connection)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Former Kirksville man killed during pork chop argument"
source: heartlandconnection.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Teacher of the Year fired after streaking his way to an adult bookstore
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
You could throw away your old credit cards. Or you could turn them into guitar picks, mosaics, and ear bud holders
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
The new coalition that's going to stop they Syrian war is ... FUKUS. No, really. Stop laughing
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Montreal bylaw requires all dogs to be bi-lingual. Your poodle wants Rosetta Stone
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
CDC: You've got the Clap and you've got the Clap and you've got the Clap and you've...well you've got Gono, but you'll have the Clap soon enough
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Atheist Egyptian blogger from Coptic Christian family gets three years in prison for blaspheming Islam. All we need is a Jewish defense attorney and a Pastafarian jailer and we've got BINGO
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
Although setting drunk teenagers on fire sounds like a lot of fun, police are trying to put a stop to it
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
Vodka saves elephants from freezing to death in Siberian forest - "Dude, I think I'm trunk"
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
If a quite obviously drunk guy asked you to help him get in his car, would you? According to this hidden camera test, most people would. w/vid
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Life (Australia))
 
 
 
Chinese find Aussie Prime Minister's end-of-the-world farewell speech about as amusing as they found the Onion honoring Kim Jong Un. Which is to say, they think it's dead serious
source: dailylife.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Utah Daily Herald Extra)
 
 
 
Local man has been booked in jail plenty of times, but this time, number 66, was to be the perfect crime
source: heraldextra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Onion AV Club)
 
 
 
Just a tip: The Archer live tour is coming to four US cities in January
source: avclub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Tipping TVs kill record number of US kids. Tipping cattle still leading cause of hilarity
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Delta Airlines once again highlighted for its customer service, this time for its quintessential treatment of a double-amputee combat veteran
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
That was a 6.3 Wake Up Call for Southern California, Surfing Report is Up Next
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Office holiday party tips from a sassy gay man, like the kind you've seen on TV
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this porcelain Christmas tree
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Businesses in Springfield, Mass. want to draw customers back to the site of a strip club explosion. Help them out with some marketing slogans
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
UK census says that 176,000 people in England and Wales claim their religion as Jedi Knight. Surprisingly, they are all listed as not married
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ukraine's parliament has seen brawls, boxers and naked protestors. In other words, just like a typical Fark party
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Experts have figured out what God was trying to tell us with super-storm Sandy: He hates nude beaches
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
New species of slow loris discovered in Borneo. With photo of a surprised slow loris: °o°
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
When you're too old for school bus fights, preparing your kid to do the fighting is the next best thing
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Good: you're a flight instructor with a net worth of $12 million; Bad: you lose it all after training the 9/11 terrorist pilots; Worse: you hit rock bottom and get arrested last week for being a drug mule
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Dallas)
 
 
 
TSA douchenozzles harass wheelchair-bound 12-year-old-girl until she cries, then just let her go
source: myfoxdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Local news crew takes the bold step of checking the home of a boy in an amber alert, finds him there with his mother who had no idea an alert had been issued
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
When statues attack
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If there is a drunk driver of the year award, Odds are pretty well that mowing down five cops and three police motorcycles just won this guy the title
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Chicago)
 
 
 
Comedian dies after spending four hours stuck in a hotel chimney warming up the audience
source: chicago.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Mormon women plan wacky 'Wear Pants to Church Day', say, "We told you we were hardcore"
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
With hay thefts spiking, authorities warn violators will be held without bale
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
The dog bowl was 5 inches across and about 3 inches deep, "enough for a face to fit in,"
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
PBS reporter gets drunk on camera. FOR SCIENCE
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Have you met your twin? Canadian photographer creates amazing portraits of strangers who look just like each other
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Step 1: Start rumor on Twitter about planned shooting at high school. Step 2: Mass hysteria amongst parents lead to massive absenteeism. Step 3: Skip school
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 13, 2012
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Father is mad at high school because his son received a 100 in Algebra, Biology and World History. Fark: His son has the mental capacity of a 6 month old
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian border agents walk off the job due to a) work conditions, b) wages, or c) being forced to wear name-tags
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Why are Legos more popular than rival building blocks like Mega-Blocks and Kre-O despite being so expensive? Well, it's probably because they did it first--and did it better
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Reality intrudes as high school students on civics class trip witness knife assault in San Diego courtroom
source: patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Wait, you mean that, as a judge, I should not tell rape victims they should have fought harder? Was that wrong?
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Worst .................... dad .................... ever
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this security sweep
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDRB Louisville)
 
 
 
Chupacabra loose in Kentucky
source: wdrb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some girl, baking)
 
 
 
Do you send baked goods or other noshables to friends near and far during the holidays? Share your recipes and shipping hints for your favorite food gifts in this week's IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS Food Thread
source: countryliving.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
||‖‖|‖|||‖‖‖|||‖ *Ack* ||‖|‖|| *THUD*
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Over the speed limit, speed camera gets you. Under the speed limit, speed camera gets you. Fark: Stopped at the light and you can clearly see brake lights and cross traffic moving in the photo, speed camera gets you
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EFF)
 
 
 
By clicking this link, you hereby authorize "protective" tracking by drones. Don't you already feel safer?
source: eff.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Chicago so concerned about concealed carry that the city is willing to use tax dollars to fight against the constitutional right
source: nation.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
The good news: You have a good chance at living longer than ever before in human history. The bad news: You'll probably be living longer with a crippling, painful disease
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Purring cats offered for rent in Siberia
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Street pot dealers claim their product is still superior and preferrable to the legal variety
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Doctors will treat CA governor for prostate cancer once they're able to push his head out of the way
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Argument over phone leads to child abuse charges, non sequitur
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pinched prince imposter
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
"Your drink: now the most pleasant part of flying. " Thanks Captain Romero
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Goat committee surprised their giant straw goat was burned to the ground yesterday, for the 25th time in 35 years
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Article titled "Too big to jail?" is surprisingly not about the cast of Honey Boo Boo
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
If you think yesterday's cyber-attack on BofA was just for them, start panicking
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atomic Scientists Bulletin)
 
 
 
Iron Dome: missile defense works -- we really mean it this time (but don't expect any evidence)
source: thebulletin.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Evolution may be the reason women have orgasms, though creationists respond by pointing out whose name gets screamed out during one
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maximum PC)
 
 
 
Life's been hard on John "Crazy Card" McAfee lately -- leaving your $20M fortune behind in Belize is one thing, but forfeiting your 20- and 17-year-old girlfriends? Now that's harsh
source: maximumpc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Journal)
 
 
 
Parents accused of killing six-year-old to remain behind bars over Christmas. What a horrible reason to kill someone
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(41 Action News)
 
 
 
Kansas City Secret Santa gives $100k to random individuals in the spirit of Christmas, leaves a trail of cut onions behind him everywhere he goes
source: kshb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Man beats victim with frying pan until handle breaks. At least they can't blame this one on pot
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
If you still think your state deserves its own Fark tag, you're gonna have to beat this
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
It's a funny prank - until you get caught and your picture is in the news next to this headline
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Public masturbation conviction gets teacher a golden parachute. Showers still pending
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Today's stolen driveway comes to you from RedDick, Florida
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Live South Africa)
 
 
 
Some headlines are Fark ready, others should automatically submit themselves upon publication: "Male gay sex turns females on - in fish: study"
source: timeslive.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mr Ilg woke from a night out at the strip club with no memory of the previous night but a credit card bill for more than $28k so does he. A) Pay the bill. C) Sue the club because he was drunk & 'no longer capable of conducting financial transactions'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Syria is launching seamines at ground targets. The article gives no explanation how but I assume trebuchet?
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Berkeley High School teacher charged with DUI and having really good breath that turned into tiny garden gnomes singing Alice's Restaurant
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Startup car company builds car that "breaks the rules." Apparently, Rule Number One was don't build a car that looks like a shopping cart
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mining)
 
 
 
FARC tightens control over gold mining, snarky headlines
source: mining.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The hearing into the polonium-210 poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko has heard he was working for both British and Spanish intelligence agencies at the time of his death. In related news, there are no weeds around his grave for miles
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kitsap Sun)
 
 
 
If you're tired of your home being constantly vandalized and you suspect it's being done by someone next door, you could have mature, calm, frank conversation with the head of the household. Or you could show up at his door armed with a machete
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
On one side of the internet there's a mother who lets her son wear pink, zebra-striped shoes to school. On the other side, a top chef demands that Hasbro make a gender-neutral Easy-Bake Oven to encourage more boys to cook
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Amazon's business strategy involves passing up short-term windfalls in order to secure solid long-term gains, which is why it will one day destroy us all
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
America's best beer comes from tiny garages and nano-breweries that most people have never heard of. I mean, I have -- not you. Oh, you've tried Doug's pilsner? Yeah, I had some of his stuff last week, not bad. I'm more into Frank's IPA now, though
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Russians begin to think they may have backed the losing side in Syria
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
US government has figured out the cause of those attacks on troops in Afghanistan; It because soldiers aren't sensitive to the local culture and they should ignore the abuse of womens rights and pedophilia there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
The best (read: only) article about snowglobes you'll see all day. Come for the cigarette snow globe, stay for the dog poop snowglobe. Apparently glitter's watery grave is a compound word in Canada: snowglobe
source: o.canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
While travelling along Argentina's Route 5 you may experience a little time travel. That's normal
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Streetlights in New Hampshire
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Just in case modern medical needles aren't scary and painful enough, scientists are working to make them more like porcupine quills
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
NASA: *sigh* No, idiots, the world is not ending
source: lightyears.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Adoption agency: "Thanks for signing up to be adoptive parents. Now please wait a few years for us to find you a kid." Adoptive parents: "Or how about we create our own website and find one on our own?" Adoption agency: "Hey now wait"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK looking at law against online trolling. Problem?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Using Facebook, Twitter and YouTube in bed is ruining our sex lives, according to scientists. Unconfirmed reports state the three internet giants may merge and be re-named YouTwitFace
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Photo slideshow of a New York City subway station under construction, before they install the urine sprinklers, homeless kennels and rat dispensers
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Maryland highway administration explains why cameras write "work zone" speeding tickets when no workers are present: cameras are not for worker safety
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fungus farm
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
When driving through a police sobriety checkpoint, make sure your breath doesn't smell like alcohol, there are no open containers in your possession, and you don't have any stabbing victims inside your truck
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
If you own a burger joint, there are probably better ways to market your new premium beef than by including a condom with every purchase
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
You rob a jewelry store, lead police on a high speed chase, ditch the car, carjack another one for another high speed chase, ditch that one, too, and run into a housing project...where the LAPD is having a toy drive
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
McAfree
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
Driving 100 miles drunk in a Lamborghini is no way to go through life officer
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not News: Smoking hot 39-year-old mum teaches child to read. Fark: The kid is four days old (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
What has two faces and 5 legs? This family (slightly graphic pic)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
An old Russian way of keeping milk from going sour by putting a frog in the bucket of milk isn't as crazy as it sounds
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Tickets to Iowa's annual Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival sold out in four minutes
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Are Americans becoming more European?
source: ideas.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Farmhand arrested for having sex with a miniature donkey claims it's his constitutional right to get himself a little ass
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Addicting Info)
 
 
 
I don't want to give you the impression New Jersey has fallen into hard times, but the Mayor is on food stamps
source: addictinginfo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tri-City Herald)
 
 
 
HOA: signs larger than 2' by 2' are not allowed. Homeowner: it's not a sign, it's a 6 foot long flat Christmas decoration with printing on it
source: tri-cityherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pantagraph)
 
 
 
Campus reporter Ric Romero discovers study groups, all-nighters are prominent features of finals week
source: pantagraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Darts fan booted out of final because he looked like Jesus and how drunk do you have to be to watch darts live? (w/Jesus pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 397: "Here At the End of All Things". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 12, 2012
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Sorry could you repeat that? I thought you said "Pepsi-Chicken Flavored Lay's Chips" were a real th-- oh, they are
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
What you expect to see on a Bed Bath & Beyond price tag: Price & item features. What you don't expect to see: I'M QUITTING TODAY
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Magazine)
 
 
 
"Curvy" is the new "fat"
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Man carves pentagram into his 6-year old son's back because 12-12-12 is a "holy day". Fark needs a TEXAS tag (w/video and 911 audio)
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This is why you don't rely on spell check
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
At least this little tyke will never forget his birthday
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
If you're considering fleeing on foot from the scene of a car accident, try to remember: law enforcement can usually track you down by your license plate or personal items you might have left in the car, such as your two children
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Regina Leader-Post)
 
 
 
Another late contender for Parent-of-the-Year: Mom will give birth to her 10th child while behind bars for having her 11-year-old daughter shoplift for her. Bonus quote from mom: "It's the best time to go to jail and get it done with"
source: leaderpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Google has altered SafeSearch. Pray they don't alter it further
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
NORAD says Best Korea's new satellite is spinning out of control. Mariana Trench put on alert
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man of steel
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newser)
 
 
 
If you're reading this while at work, watch out: Doing so could someday become a federal offense
source: newser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Boxed wine spoils faster than bottled wine, but happily for people who buy it, they can't tell the difference
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
I'll take "Because it's FARKING DELICIOUS" for $1,000
source: ideas.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Newspapers published fluff pieces about today's unusual date 100 years ago, too. If you're still alive in 2112, look for a fluff piece about the fluff piece about the fluff piece
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Oregon mall killer was trying to kill people. Thanks for clearing that up
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Since hitting the mute button is such a burden, the government will begin protecting your delicate ears from loud commercials starting at midnight
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning News)
 
 
 
When you're sitting across from your drunk uncle and next to your stupid brother in law while your emo nephew whines that "meat is murder", just think of this article and remind yourself that it could be worse
source: themorningnews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Arizona company files for patent on hi-tech handcuffs that can remotely stun and inject drugs into a prisoner. In unrelated news, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio places record order for handcuffs
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Elusive 'World's Best Beer' finally coming to America today. At $14 per bottle it won't be getting spilled on the Fark servers, but just wait until you see what gets greenlit this week
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scene from a sewage treatment plant
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
IKEA monkey mom wants her monkey back
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Freedom of the press, UK style: Nice newspaper you've got there. Be a shame if anything happened to it
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Superior it's said never gives up her dead, but Lake Michigan not so much
source: hosted2.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"I don't believe what this says. I held it up, it says [expletive] show"
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Shop owner shoots shoplifter. Shoplifter sues, claiming "Dammit I was in the safe zone"
source: on.kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Most popular Wolf in Yellowstone killed by hunter. Where is your Red Riding Hood now?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Mall employee on shooting: "I wish my boyfriend was there. He's played a lot of Call of Duty and has a lot of knowledge about guns and what to do in a tight spot"
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US 8th-grader's math skills have declined nearly twenty-eleven percent when compared to those of many of our global competitors
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
That CA "law student" gunned down in an apparent professional hit in NYC? He had a rap sheet as long as your arm, had 3 cell phones on him when he died and was described as "being heavily into CA 'club culture' "
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
The University of California, one of the nation's most prestigious colleges, has redesigned its logo to look like something you'd click to "like" a news story on your favorite social networking site. Oddly, some people have a problem with that
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Not trying to steal limelight from Michigan here, but the Brits seem to be having union problems of their own
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lidl to pay more than $260,000 for Christmas dinner to the poor after their offer went viral on Twitter
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsnet5)
 
 
 
Oates bites Hall in the face. Watch out boy, he'll chew you up
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
A federal judged has banned North Carolina from issuing "Choose Life" license plates unless they offer a "Choose Death" alternative
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Anti-burglary alarm technician charged with burglary, having ten thousand spoons
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Twitchy)
 
 
 
Shame on people for talking about gun control right after yet another avoidable gun tragedy, because that would just be politicizing it
source: twitchy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Inquisitr)
 
 
 
So, how dangerous is inhaling helium? Here's the high pitched answer
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Meteorologist gets fired for violating an "unwritten policy" when she responds graciously to a facebook post criticizing her ethnic hair not meeting certain standards
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
FedEx Package Tracking, Detailed Results: Date/Time: Dec. 11, 2012, 11:02 AM | Location: Prince Georges County, MD | Activity: FedEx vehicle hijacked
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
STOP THE PRESSES: Casey Anthony has been spotted eating out at a steak house in South Florida
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The best fake Twitter accounts of 2012, from Romney's Binders to Angelina Jolie's leg
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mauritania selected to be VP of UN Human Rights Council. In other Mauritania News: Slavery is still legal, and changing your religion can get you sentenced to death
source: un.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post UK)
 
 
 
Today's Fark ready headline: Scientists to test if we're actually living in the matrix
source: huffingtonpost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Planet Ivy)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Naked biting spree forces three-drink limit at German pool complex
source: planetivy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One in four British parents think heating up baked beans is cooking, purple is a fruit
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
When you are about to be released from a traffic stop, it is not ideal to begin peeing all over the police car
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
James Bond, mafia smuggler and porn chat girl: The bizarre ads listed on government jobs website
source: ibtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
If you must shoplift your Christmas presents this year, steal something better than a Richard Marx CD and a 24-ounce can of Miller Lite
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Chavez removal successful
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
"The ovaries may detach when pulled, becoming a potential small-part choking hazard for young children"
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Snoop Dogg plays Moses in an epic (and nonsensical) rap battle against Santa Claus. Even the pancake wearing rabbit makes more sense than this
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Bow hunter shoots self in leg while hunting deer, calls for help, tries to explain to police why the arrow he took to his knee looks like a bullet
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Royal Navy submariner faces jail for trying to give nuclear secrets to Russia. Fark: He made contact by phoning the embassy and offering the info. Ultrafark: He was caught by undercover MI5 agents with "remarkably fake" accents
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TreeHugger)
 
 
 
In 1912 the Titanic sank, Arizona became a state, and the President waged a war against people who gave away cheap and useless Christmas presents
source: treehugger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If really believe in the Mayan calendar, then it only makes sense why you would want to spend that day on top of a pyramid-shaped mountain in Serbia that was once the home of a wizard guarding a treasure and may house a UFO
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
A separate 65-foot asteroid named 2012 XE54, discovered only a few days ago, made a close approach to Earth earlier this morning. NOT COOL
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
If you are a bus driver and you whip out a toy gun for "the bad kids", you generally will lose your job and your dignity
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Digital Spy)
 
 
 
Hey, this is crazy and we just met, but MTV named this song of the year, maybe
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Answer: David Hasselhoff, German firing squads, Abercrombie and Fitch. Question: What are bad things Europeans line up for?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Before the real estate agent comes to take pictures of the home you are listing, hide the pot plants, dude
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
So surprising that at first researchers didn't believe it: signs the childhood obesity epidemic may be reversing
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
Dollar Tree will gladly match manufacturer or competitor coupons...or provide you with a free ass kicking
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Still don't believe in the media's liberal bias? How do you explain ABC using footage of Westboro Baptist Church to show what "opponents of gay marriage" look like? They should pick less inflammatory opponents, like Fox does for its union coverage
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Incorrect quote on the side of MLK monument in National Mall to be removed instead of replaced
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Cocaine breast implants. Need I say more
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Environmental Graffiti)
 
 
 
Ever wonder how you'd move a 10 ton boulder across Lake Titicaca?
source: environmentalgraffiti.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
FBI special agent investigated for informing a truck driver of his right to a pants-off dance-off
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Offbeat China)
 
 
 
The difference between Mexican and Chinese illegal immigrants in the US? The Chinese send their "anchor babies" back to China until they're 21. Scary: There are now 58 million of them
source: offbeatchina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Analysts show how oil prices may sink to $50/barrel within the next two years. DAMN YOU OBAMA
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Karl Rove would like you to know that he did not keep one penny of the $300 million in fail spent by American Crossroads. He was just a volunteer, damnit, like that time Paul Ryan scrubbed pots in a soup kitchen
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Y94 FM Syracuse)
 
 
 
I bet that tree doesn't smell like pine...more like bad decisions and regret
source: y94fm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSOCTV)
 
 
 
Advances in southern food technology: Okra and frog legs in the same convenient package
source: wsoctv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(1200 WOAI)
 
 
 
There's something in your eye. Oh, it's a TV
source: radio.woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Amsterdam becomes the first city in the Netherlands to ban smoking marijuana at school. Wait, what?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Woman busted dumping cigarettes, a cell phone, and bottles of suspected 'spice' into a dumpster on prison grounds for a prisoner to pick up probably appears hot to a guy who's been locked up for a while
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Meet the fanboys driving Syrian dictator Bashar Assad's social media propaganda push
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Apparently, the secret to a popular weight loss drug is that it's hard to overeat when you're in an organ failure-induced coma
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBZ2 Bangor)
 
 
 
Maine woman going to jury trial for theft of a glow in the dark toilet seat. I see what you did there and... ewww
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
The Jesus Fresco destroyer is now selling her own work on eBay. She's really growing as an artist
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Apparently, Mexican pot smugglers watch Mythbusters
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dumbass Daily)
 
 
 
Nothing puts you in the holiday spirit like coming home to find a naked stranger on your couch watching pay cable porn while holding a terrified Chihuahua. Yo quiero ir a casa
source: dumbassdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Muslim fourth grader writes a letter to Santa
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
One World Trade Center enters New York City. Well, just the tip
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The Pope sends his first Tweet: "Not happy I have to wait 2 months for more American Horror Story"
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop these 3D printing geeks
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Israel approved for purchase of 6,900 tail-kits for turning regular bombs into JDAMs, which coincidentally is almost exactly 3 for every Iranian air-defense installation
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Odd, incomprehensibly babbling man arrested for stealing boy's skateboard, and from the looks of his mugshot there should be a clumsy, timid Great Dane on the loose nearby
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
'Snapchat Sluts' shows why Snapchat isn't the consequence-free sexting app we'd all hoped for, also new name for Subby's alternative Chinese polka trio
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I can count to potato
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
In the wake of Hurricane Sandy, NJ Assemblyman wants stronger utility poles. He doesn't know how much they'd cost or if they'd make any difference, but he wants them
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Paddle importer up creek
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Remember that guy who shot up the Clackamas Town Center on 12/11/12? Here's what someone posted on 12/10/12
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Man who urinated on the floor of a Dunkin' Donuts charged with lewdness, attempted suicide by cop
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zagat)
 
 
 
Starbucks $450 metal gift cards are now selling for $5,000 on eBay. Apparently people don't mind paying ten times too much for coffee they are already paying twice as much to buy
source: blog.zagat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Rodents of unusual powers? I don't think they exist
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Don't want to compete with your crazy neighbor's elaborate and tacky holiday lights display and want to be slightly snarky at the same time? Here's a brilliantly simple solution
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Problem: Worn, dirty, personalized license plates are difficult for some traffic cameras to read, which may impact $afety. Solution: Mandatory RF transponders in all license plates. Welcome to America, citizen
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Brothel owner says that legalizing prostitution will save us from the fiscal cliff, something we can all get behind
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Detroit_News)
 
 
 
Union members in Michigan engage in polite discussion with those who have an opposing viewpoint. Just kidding, they beat a Fox News reporter, sucker punch him, then collapse a tent on top of women and old people
source: detroitnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Work for Fairfax County, Virginia? Enjoy your mandatory smoking cessation classes
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
How do you get 10-year whiskey in ten hours? Difficulty: no decanting allowed
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Ottawa, Ontario storefront window unveils "50 Shades of Grey" Barbie
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ingredients in a Bloody Mary: Vodak, tomato juice, celery, Polish sausage, cheeseburger
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Broward/Palm Beach New Times)
 
 
 
Balloon Boy fronts heavy metal band. "Can't stop playin' World of Warcraft. That's what I'm sayin'." Bonus: Article is from the future
source: browardpalmbeach.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
1) Eat fast food every day while pregnant, become a fat greasy mess. 2) Lose 168 pounds, become a hottie. 3) Profit (w/before and after pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In case you were wondering, it's illegal to project cheese advertisements onto the moon
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 11, 2012
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Best Korea launches missile. CIA predicts they may be able to fire weather satellites into the bottom of the Mariana Trench by 2050
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Father-son hunting trip results in what will be a very awkward Christmas
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh City Paper)
 
 
 
Gentlemen, the situation is dire: our employees are forced to go to food banks to make ends meet. Therefore, I propose, we open our own food bank
source: pghcitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Pro-life dry cleaner puts anti-abortion message on wire coathangers. Submitter thinks they should expand to wet/dry shop vacs
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this interesting insect
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
NewsFlash
 
Live coverage of a mall shooting in the Portland suburb of Clackamas. Early reports of two people dead
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook