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Sun November 25, 2012
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
The state of Florida is asking thousands of young women some intimate questions about their sex lives and is giving them a $10 gift card in return
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when passersby stop you on the highway to tell you there's a man in your windshield? Yeah, me too
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Unemployment is bad for your health
source: healthland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Newest internet craze is called milking. It's not as good as you might be thinking
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this welcomed sloth
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
The wisdom of Ric Romero: "Salespeople are pushing those warranties and service plans. There's a real dollars-and-cents reason for this. Stores make a lot more profit on these than on the actual product you're buying"
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pinterest)
 
 
 
"Instead of a guestbook, have each wedding guest highlight their favorite Bible verse and sign their name beside it." Yeah, but what if everyone highlights Revelation or the parts okaying slavery, incest and genocide?
source: pinterest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Male cook files bias lawsuit against schools, needs to get his ass to the kitchen and make me a sandwich
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
McDonald's starting to test three new Quarter Pounders in bid to turn franchise around without realising they should just slap the pucks down ice
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Victim of explosion returns to damaged home only to be cited by Animal Control because her cat was found wandering loose in the neighborhood
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOB4)
 
 
 
Expensive Navajo rug worth about $75k stolen. When questioned the victim told police that "That rug really tied the room together, man"
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KING 5 News)
 
 
 
☞ ☟
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KREM Spokane)
 
 
 
Hmmm... I wonder what THIS pipe is f-*KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*
source: krem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass Lemurs born at the Melbourne Zoo. Looks like King Julian still likes to move it, move it
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Apparently, there are an elite group of marksmen who specialize in big game hunting--but only on arcade hunting games
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Casey Anthony's acquittal may be due to her use of Firefox over Internet Explorer
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this enormous encounter
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
After University of Colorado in Boulder and Colorado Springs creates segregated "gun dorms" for students with concealed-carry permits, there's already a waiting list to get in. Just kidding, 0 students have applied
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
It turns out the reason why your girlfriend is always nagging you and has low self-esteem is because she doesn't do porn
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Help, help, I'm being oppressed" says former president of the Oxford Conservative Association, with ginger hair, a Rolls Royce, a face only a bank manager could love and a penchant for Courtney Love
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCAX Vermont)
 
 
 
"Jo Jo is not an experienced hunter and is not familiar with the area. He was not carrying a cell phone nor radio and he did not have a firearm while hunting". Oh. Did we mention he is six years old?
source: wcax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lowell Sun)
 
 
 
Woman gets revenge on former boss by opening day care next to his law office to keep his sex offender clients away
source: lowellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
ShopperTrak says the there were 307 million mall shoppers in the US on black Friday. Since the US has 311 million people that means 4 million of you were what, too fat to leave the house?
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Wheat, it's the new Crack
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
10 perfectly legitimate reasons why you have an open bottle of bourbon
source: thekitchn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In Florida it's illegal to annoy, molest, harass, or disturb or attempt to molest, harass, or disturb a manatee. So having your picture taken while riding one is definitely frowned upon and can result in interaction with law enforcement
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Just so we're clear: While it is legal to burn the US flag, it is not legal to burn your neighbor's US flag (Update: Now with working link)
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The war on Christmas continues, now includes hand grenades
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
The end of riverboat gambling? Anyone want to buy a boat?
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man outraged that his ex-wife would give their daughter marijuana pills to combat the effects of her chemotherapy because it turned her into a total stoner. "All she wanted to do was lay on the bed and play video games"
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Senior citizen keeps a burglar at bay with a homemade bow and arrow
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
It was no small feet, but after reviewing the footage, police are finally suede and charge Imelda Marcos' well-heeled ex-employee with theft
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Phone book company agrees to settle a lawsuit over its placement of a Montana restaurant in the "Animal Carcass Removal" section of its yellow pages. In other news, what's a phone book?
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man survives nearly falling off an overpass, arrested for DUII for driving with a .50 BAC. Yes, that's right, a point five oh
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this balancing act
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Improbable Research)
 
 
 
Your tax dollars at work: Do men with deep voices produce better quality semen?
source: improbable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Even more jobs shipped overseas as Triangle Shirtwaist Factory relocates to Bangladesh
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
PSA: Hitchin' Posts are for horses not toddlers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
22-32-37-44-50 and 34. Winner step forward and claim your 6.5 million years of TotalFark
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Kids circulate petition to save their "treehouse" from running afoul of zoning law. Subby was a kid once and must sternly inform these boys that treehouses are not prefab garden sheds built on concrete footings, and to kindly get it off their lawn
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Amazing CRACKED article about new space projects more awesome than Curiosity - amazing because all of the article items are on ONE PAGE
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Love is the 'yeast' that allows our sexual ecstasy to rise to its highest level." Repeat: yeast
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The confetti at the Macy's Thanksgiving parade was made of the second worst kind of used paper possible
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
What do a Smith & Wesson .38 revolver and a pumpkin have in common in Stockton, California? Using either one can get you a charge of assault with a deadly weapon
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
State-controlled Long Island Power Authority to customers: Here's your bill for the electricity you didn't have for two weeks after Sandy, because this is New York so you can go fark yourselves (for which you'll be billed, taxed and surcharged)
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTOO Juneau)
 
 
 
Coming up live at the top of the hour, it's Livingston Stapler Company Presents, 2+ hours of music hosted by a TFer way up in Juneau, Alaska. LGT stream, see thread for other options
source: ktoo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Foster parents who take in and care for 3 minority race children, have those children removed by the state for being racist
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 24, 2012
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Oh, you're a war veteran, kid? Hey, that's cool. Reminds me of my own war veteran days, back before things got so easy. Did you know we walked uphill to the battlefield, barefoot? And were thankful? It was uphill back to the base, too
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
42 buildings now struggling to stay erect after strip club explodes
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
If you're picking up a DUI friend from the police station, don't speed in the parking lot, especially if you're drunk
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Police prefer for you to notify them within a day when you've shot some burglars
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Who nose what is in this week's Mugshot Roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Female First)
 
 
 
Out of 2000 surveyed, guess how many men say they're with a 10?
source: femalefirst.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this march on the beach
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You can now buy the Buick that was used in the 1988 film "Rain Man", then drive it slow on the driveway every Saturday
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
More camel toe sightings on Southern California streets than usual
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Woman who slipped into a diabetic comma dies after 42 years, but her family never game up home. Damn you, autocorrect and pseudojournalists who can't type
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
With law schools churning out so many lawyers, you knew this was going to happen sooner or later: Federal Judge announces wage-less job opening; calls working for him a "moral commitment"
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this line adjustment
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GoComics)
 
 
 
Got a few days to kill? GoComics.com has every Peanuts strip online for free
source: gocomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Men are the new women" when it comes to shopping for nice clothes. Farkers, it might be time to change out of those Cheeto-stained jeans and extra-large hooded sweatshirts
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
If running drunk through your neighborhood in boxer shorts yelling at pedestrians and punching cars until you pass out on the sidewalk in front of your grandmother's house is wrong, I don't want to be right
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Powerball is back in the headlines. No, not Lance Armstrong
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
So THAT'S what an atheist looks like
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man arrested for assaulting wife with his penis after she refused to have sex with him. After reviewing the briefs, judge drops assault with deadly weapon charge and turns case over to small claims court
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
In Toledo, we take the Rules of Beer Pong very seriously, and will cut you if you screw up
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
There's gold in that thar floor. GOLD, I tells ya
source: sacramento.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The real reason scientists haven't found bigfoot? They don't have the right blimp. Oh, sorry, rigid airship
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Just say no to playing Indian" says columnist whose name translates to "She who has stick firmly jammed up rectum"
source: inamerica.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Remember that Chinese restaurant in Kentucky where the owners tried to sneak in a dead deer? Well, they've moved to Missouri and got caught again
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Hector "Macho" Camacho out for the 10 count
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Boston)
 
 
 
Toddler rescued from laundry chute is doing okay, reportedly full of cheer, feeling bold
source: myfoxboston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Adelaide Now)
 
 
 
Since society didn't collapse after the re-election of Obama, doomsday preppers now have the end of the Mayan Calendar to look forward to
source: adelaidenow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Sweden's largest toy chain says its toys are "gender neutral", picturing boys holding baby dolls and girls brandishing toy guns. Not that there's anything wrong with that
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this boy with a big beet
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
FBI's 11th most wanted man gets to move up one spot
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about so here's a picture of a naked man straddling a statue of the Duke of Cambridge (Mildly not safe for work pics/video of his flabby bum)
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Black Friday takes on a whole new meaning as some shelters are offering their entire inventory of black felines for free to good homes, just in time for Caturday
source: kirkland.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
RESCHEDULED: Fark poker party/March of Dimes Fundraiser in DFW at Big Slick Poker Academy
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Twelve hundred pounds of turkey testicles were deep fried and consumed at the 30th Annual Turkey Testicle Festival. That's nuts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Biomimicry researchers working on bottle-sized moisture vaporators, just need some power converters from Tosche Station
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Popularity of backyard chicken farming is causing an overabundance of cock
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KWCH Wichita)
 
 
 
Caviar vending machines now a reality; flying cars are surely next
source: kwch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Artist proposes using billboards as elevated gardens -- to give LA drivers a sense of calm. Yeah, that ought to do it
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bar Bingo. Minnesota. Twin Cities to be exact. Who's with me?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
North American sparrow, seen for the first time in Sweden, thrills bird watchers as it is eaten by a hawk
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Formerly urban subby is living in a small town and is bored. What do small town farkers do for fun?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tuscaloosa News)
 
 
 
Iran accuses US of getting all up in their grill and warns them to step off
source: tuscaloosanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The UK's worst Christmas tree. All it needs is a little love, eh, what, guv'nah?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Arizona woman discovers line drawing of JFK behind old picture bought at Sun City yard sale for $5, gets it appraised as $5,000 antique. "I'll probably sell it, you know we've been on hard times"
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 23, 2012
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Strip club blows load
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Thief makes off with 18 tons of chocolate in Austria. Suspect is said to be suffering from PMS
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"Hello. This is NPR, and we've done exhaustive, painstaking researching into the origins of Black Friday so we can make you feel bad for referring to it as such. Coming up next, Sarah MacLachlan's music cued up to pictures of abused animals"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 40 Sacramento)
 
 
 
The only thing more American than pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving may be a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for 9-year-old Tommy Edwards, founder of the PB and J Brigade for the Homeless
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Man shoots wife during argument, drops her off at hospital. Who says chivalry is dead?
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Back in my day Indonesian school children didn't even have a dangerous bridge to walk to school on. They had to fight off baboons while swinging from the tree branches and THEY LIKED IT
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these twirling teacups
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Headline of the Year preliminaries starting on Totalfark this week, and here are some other Headlines of the Week for 11/11 - 11/17
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Strip club offers free meals, hepatitis
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Known in the 90's as "the Murder capital of the US" with almost 500 homicides annually, DC is on pace to finish with fewer than 100 this year for the first time since 1963. Lazy kids these days, got no gumption or stick-to-it-tiveness
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Experts say recently discovered WWII encoded message may never be cracked, ask for public's help. Feeling lucky?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
On Black Friday, remember it's more important to leave the store with your new TV than it is to leave with your 2-year old
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Since today is already causing you pain from yesterday's hangover and all the Black Friday rioting, here are 11 questions that you may or may not know the answer to. It's the Fark News Quiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Milk truck hits, kills two cows in great Wisconsin tragedy. Driver found to be 2 percent at fault
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Having copied our electronics, our cars, our household goods, China is now copying whole European cities
source: messynessychic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The Fark squirrel has really let himself go. Nom nom nom
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
This is your brain. This is your brain on PA RUM PA PA RUM RUM PA PA RUM Christmas music
source: bodyodd.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Zoo staff in Russia were prepared when a mother tiger abandoned her newborn cubs. And by prepared I mean they had a Swiss shepherd dog ready to fill the role. (with awwww pics)
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parents have decided that their teenage daughter wouldn't have enough to talk about to her therapist when she gets older, so they have done this
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
NYC Parks department would like to remind you that its wood chippers are for trees only. Please dispose of your bodies elsewhere
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Facebook)
 
 
 
Airship Eureka needs a new sponsor, photoshop some possibilities (some images Not safe for work)
source: facebook.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Someone is officially playing Sim City in New Jersey
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News Junkie)
 
 
 
You could shop, wait in long lines, and get frustrated on Black Friday...or you could buy a bullhorn and have some fun
source: thenewsjunkie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
These 41 photographs perfectly encapsulate the sheer terror of Black Friday
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Unsuccessful troll loses job in US Attorney's office
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Dear Caity: Is it okay to stick a piece of honey-ham to my semi-alert grandpa's head?
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The actual number of Walmart associates who participated in the Black Friday walkout? Less than 50
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
It's got to be pretty embarrassing when you break into someone's hotel room wearing a pillowcase with the eye holes burned into it and you let yourself get pushed out of the room and over the balcony
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Teacher at Seattle synagogue gets too close to female students. Temple tantrum ensues
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Orlando)
 
 
 
"Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the food we are about to eat -- and for putting the knife out of reach"
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Protesters in Egypt have set fire to Muslim Brotherhood offices in several cities, according to state TV
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A new sex amusement park is "not quite Disney with dildos"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Clown dies during Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, officials said he was acting a little funny just before he died
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
You are truly a silver-tongued devil if you approach an older woman, tell her that her husband is sleeping with your wife, and convince her to sleep with you to get revenge
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Johnson City Press)
 
 
 
Redneck trifecta: Tennessee man arrested after stalking woman with vulgar tongue gestures. Yes, his name is Hank Williams. Yes, he lives on Opossum Hollow Road
source: johnsoncitypress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A new enemy joins the ranks on the War on Christmas: The Catholic Church
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A retired British Royal Air Force Wing Commander died when he lost control of his replica First World War biplane and plummeted into a field. Curse you Red Baron
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Police call body found shot in the head, tied up in a sack, and floating in a river, a "complex suicide"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Maclean's)
 
 
 
"I'm a 35 year old man, so one thing I probably shouldn't be doing on a weekday morning is reading the dirty tweets of Catholic school girls"
source: www2.macleans.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Take the Quiz: Are these pictures of Black Friday shopping or riots?
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Not news: Hot teacher posts lingerie pics. Fark: School is totally okay with it
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Thirty-two-year-old hottie: I've had five kids, eat 5,000 calories of junk food a day...and look like THIS (w/pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Report: Pussy Riot member asks to be placed in a box
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Proof God drinks, which means it's okay for us to drink as well
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Vampire on the loose in Europe (w/pic)
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Strange Beaver)
 
 
 
Bored at work and want to see what you're missing this Black Friday? This is for you (hint: you're better off at work)
source: strangebeaver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
While you were lying in a turkey coma, China just printed the plans for WWIII on their passports
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
In Texas, there's only one way to deal with the Black Friday goon who cuts in line in
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
If you own a pet turkey in Florida, you might consider bringing it inside on Thanksgiving week. Just sayin'
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Growing weed to pay for your son's drug rehab? Really?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Washington DC's speed cameras cost $52 million to operate. No worries, though, they generated over $80 million in safety
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Charged with resisting arrest and fleeing the scene? Why not just heckle the judge, chase her out of the courtroom and proclaim yourself in charge?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Arizona business rents out hot young female models to attend your social gatherings. It's kind of like hiring an escort without the sex. (Bonus: Picture of hot young female models)
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman in labor for only 16 minutes with her 16th child, thinks she can shave some time off on number 17
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi, you've just negotiated a cease-fire between Israel and Hamas. What are you going to do next? "I'm going to ... give myself dictatorial powers"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NextGov)
 
 
 
Pentagon memo on over-classification of documents classified "For Official Use Only"
source: nextgov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Military Times)
 
 
 
Marine scout snipers send a message saying they need a better way to reach out and touch someone when they care enough to send the very best
source: militarytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hurriyet Daily News)
 
 
 
Fabuleux
source: hurriyetdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Online shopping: It's cheap, reliable, and there is a great selection of fantastic gifts out there. Except the cheap thing may not be true anymore as states start realizing this and are gonna start taxing your ass
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man escapes death after motorboating accident
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy & that rock
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Ever think of getting a turkey as a pet? "It's like a dog, but more bird-like and too messy to hang out indoors. They probably won't play fetch, either"
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British supermodel wants to build a Romeo and Juliet balcony in her home to add a sense of theater and eccentricity. In other news, British supermodels don't look like American supermodels
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
It Begins: couple hit by car in Walmart parking lot on Black Thursday
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The obesity gene helps protect against depression. So how come I still feel sad after eating an entire cheesecake?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If your neighbors' nickname for you is the "Son of Sal," it's very possible that you may be a serial killer
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If Iceland is as great as everyone says, then why do grocery stores there have to put their lamb and cheese in anti-theft security boxes?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
It really is all about the Benjamins, baby: $100-dollar bills make up 80% of all circulating US currency
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Won't sell your house? China doesn't give a fark, they'll build the road around it
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Shopping on Black Friday is for suckers, and if you insist on going shopping, here's a handy guide to what you shouldn't buy
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Mexico wants to change their name to Mexico
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(About.com)
 
 
 
Here's a handy calculator to determine how far you'll have to walk to burn off that Thanksgiving meal you just devoured. Subby is gonna need a new pair of shoes
source: walking.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Doctor delivers his own son in the hospital parking lot, will charge himself double
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 22, 2012
(YouTube)
 
 
 
This song is called "Alice's Restaurant," and it's about Alice, and the restaurant, but "Alice's Restaurant" isn't the name of the restaurant, that's just the name of the song, and that's why I call this song "Alice's Restaurant"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Some one call JJ Abrams, we've found the Island
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The time Mormons baptized Adolf Hitler and Vlad the Impaler
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
What's the point of being a billionaire if you can't point guns at the little people?
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful caterpillar
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
News Briefs: Fox News legal analyst Kimberly Guilfoyle outed as former Victoria's Secret underwear model
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Grandmother banned from flight after she: A) stripped naked, B) threatened the crew, or C) touched the flight attendant's arm
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In Texas everything's bigger. Including the pile-ups
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
You may want to reconsider your acquaintances if they pull a knife on you, rob you, and kick you out of the car naked
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's "Cute teacher arrested for sex with students" story comes to us from Walton, New York. Bonus: She's a newlywed and was also banging another teacher (w/mugshot)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Blind, deaf, 3-legged dog saves family from house fire, sure plays a mean pinball
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thanksgiving by the numbers: 12,000 calls to the Butterball Turkey Line, 17 of which were actually about cooking a turkey
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Jacksonville police officer resigns after saying that he'd love to "volunteer to kill President Barack Obama" and that he would like to see a nuclear explosion wipe out the northeastern states because "they were Obama supporters"
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Aerosmith sound check
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Facebook to stop being a democracy and start being a dictatorship. In other news, Facebook is taken way too seriously by people
source: mobile.slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Week)
 
 
 
Give thanks for Masao Yoshida, Fukushima plant manager, who ignored orders and prevented a meltdown
source: theweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to life in prison for third DUI conviction. Tag is for the judge. (Video)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
It's Thanksgiving, so let's not fight today and just all agree that turkey white meat is a bland, tasteless, cardboard-like substance that nobody really enjoys and we all secretly crave the dark. And if you take the last leg, I WILL CUT YOU
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Be thankful for what you have. Oh yeah, and the Powerball jackpot is up to $325 million
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
In a shocking expose, it turns out that many of those Black Friday "deals" aren't really deals at all
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Bad news for Farkers: turns out we're all going to die young
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Today marks the 50th anniversary of the day JFK was accidentally killed by Secret Service agent George Hickey
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Look at the picture that accompanies this article. Familiar?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Here's a little eighteen minute Thanksgiving carol for your holiday listening pleasure
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
China promises to widen ties with Russia, but still rejects wider lapels and bell bottoms
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
Having solved all the world's other problems, the Wall Street Journal contemplates whether marshmallow fluff belongs on sweet potatoes
source: theatlanticwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TaxProf)
 
Video
 
Our Holiday Tradition: The WKRP in Cincinnati Thanksgiving turkey drop. "As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"
source: taxprof.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Artist catches pictures of people levitating. Or as the rest of us might call it, falling
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
U.S. Public Interest Research Group again warns parents of dangerous toys for children. Number one this year is the new "What are you wearing?" phone call Elmo doll
source: lifeinc.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen of Fark, please lend me your ears. I want to tell you about Mike Tyson's new charity
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Dave Petraeus is going stir-crazy and already plotting his comeback. "He's the most ambitious guy I've ever seen. I'm absolutely confident he's going to succeed again"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when you meet the girl of your dreams while she's visiting your country, and you sail after her for eight months in your yacht only to finally be stopped by immigration officials and a restraining order? Yeah, me too
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Virginia men charged with stealing fish from Pennsylvania. WHERE IS YOUR COD NOW?
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy at a group exhibition
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
South Carolina Supreme Court tackles the state's real problem: People gambling by playing poker in their own homes
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Salvation Army will get quieter bell after woman calls cops to complain
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Will there be a catastrophic balloon failure? Why is there no Pony balloon yet? Will Kareem Abdul-Jabbar drag a Walton and Lanier float up and down 6th Avenue for 48 minutes? It's the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, 9 AM on NBC
source: holidayblog.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
TSA says that holiday cakes and pies will be subject to additional screening. Agents told to go through any suspicious looking desserts with a fine toothed fork
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New York Health Department: Thank you, Mister Firefighter, for manning this food tent to help Hurricane Sandy victims. But you're not wearing a hairnet, so here's your fine
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scottish castle can be yours for as little as £220,000. Slightly used
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games until somebody loses a nipple
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What can you make out of a used political sign, a tub of vaseline, PVC, duct tape, and a few dozen squirrels?
source: emissourian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KOCO Oklahoma City)
 
 
 
Man charged with burning 12-year-old girl with iron. Victim revealed details of the abuse only after being pressed
source: koco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patheos)
 
 
 
That awkward moment when a creationist gets outwitted by a sixth grader
source: patheos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Homeless in Nevada? You'll need a permit for that
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 394: "History Happened Here". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 21, 2012
(Philly Burbs)
 
 
 
"Crime kiosk" gives you a convenient way to make your court-ordered restitution payments. You now have fifteen seconds to comply
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
This is what happens when a car carrier hits the bottom of a bridge. D'OH
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSAT San Antonio)
 
 
 
Home invasion involves ____ people with ______. a) two, rifles. b) three, pistols. c) ten, machetes
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this space-faring comparison chart
source: aerospaceprojectsreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New study reveals that terrible commute to work may actually be the death of you
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Eight "bootstrap-style" surgery examples prove Obamacare is unnecessary
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
We're lucky to have cranberries after icy season, but did you have to let them linger?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Fark instashop thread: scientists are saying that they've made a big discovery on Mars, but won't say what it is. Photoshop what it might be
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these binoculars buddies
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Zim Diaspora)
 
 
 
Doctors unable to figure out why a man's penis is being eaten from the inside by some mysterious creature
source: zimdiaspora.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
"Firefighters helped transfer the llamas, two zebras, two ponies and two camels to another trailer"
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
According to new survey, more Americans would rather have Thanksgiving dinner with Tim Tebow than Big Bird or Lady Gaga. Oh and Mr. President, maybe next year
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
If you marry a woman in prison who is on trial for killing and dismembering her first two husbands, maybe you should calculate the odds when the court psychologist notes that your new wife has a "one in three" chance in killing again
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australia sends first group to PNG asylum camp. It's no big loss
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
And that's the news for this evening.... Oh and we quit
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
How about a little pre-Thanksgiving fun? DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ Transit boss defends decision to wreck millions of dollars in train equipment by leaving them in areas hit hard by Sandy flooding
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
This Thanksgiving let's all pause to be grateful for the thing that made the Pilgrims' life in the new world possible: rat urine
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WYMT Hazard)
 
 
 
News: Man sets up meth lab. Fark: In a Wal-Mart bathroom
source: wkyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Clarion-Ledger)
 
 
 
Your Fark-ready headline of the day - Caught on camera: Picayune man charged with stealing three pens at Slidell sheriff's office
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Americans love oranges. Americans love pie. Americans love to make all popular fruits into pies. Why don't we eat orange pie?
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Hard hitting journalism or turkey boning? "How Thanksgiving smells can affect your sex life"
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Food critics really, really hate Thanksgiving. You know, that one time of the year when we eat food that tastes good and don't worry about how it's made, how many calories it has, or how hipster it is
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Shocking new study suggests that people actually like having sex and drinking alcohol. Well, it's certainly better than the other way around
source: newsfeed.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Athens Banner Herald)
 
 
 
Man arrested after "pretending his taser was a penis." Shocking
source: onlineathens.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And the actual, retail price of a former "Price is Right" model's pregnancy discrimination suit against the show IS: $776,944.00
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Another wealthy CEO speaks out on the importance of keeping the peasants in their place
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Clogged toilet led to shooting"
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTHI-TV Terre Haute)
 
 
 
Local news anchor discovers that soda fountains can be disgusting
source: wthitv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If global warming is so real, then why did we see fewer tornadoes in America this year? "We are approaching a theoretical minimum in the annual tornado count for the modern era"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
General Allen returns to commanding people to embed their biographers
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking. Is there anyone on board who knows how to land a jumbo jet? Fark: Actually, yes, there is
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Honestly, nobody is that impressed if you can put a four-year-old girl in double nelson headlock
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Add 1 pro-secession Facebook post from your brother with 2 cups of white wine in your dad, stir in gloating election year results by your sister and you've got yourself one of the most volatile family Thanksgiving dinner in years
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Ever wondered what would happen if we released 42,000 cubic feet of water per second into the Grand Canyon? Well, wonder no more (with pics)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Mechanics)
 
 
 
Recent news reports claim the U.S. will surpass Saudi Arabia in oil production within a few years. Lets take a closer look at the government report that made the claim and see what it really says
source: popularmechanics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Asked why they don't want to wear any clothes, Fox News host Bob Beckel says that San Francisco nudists 'probably gang-banged during (their) childhood'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Headline writer doesn't know the difference between "jerry rigged" and "jury rigged" when describing this man's car/office
source: autos.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Gun store employee demonstrates the wrong way to unload a hand gun
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Europe)
 
 
 
Plan: 1) Hack into AT&T servers...DONE 2) Get 120,000 iPad users' emails to prove your genius...DONE 3) Get caught and convicted...DONE 4) Get offered a job by the CIA like that movie I once watched...PENDING
source: neurope.eu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
Front page news on the weather channel website: The difference between a Butt and a Butte finally explained
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ImageShack)
 
 
 
Bighairyguy has had a rough year and just lost his mother to cancer. Photoshop him into happier times. LGT big hairy source fodder
source: img18.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Captain Obvious...I'm sorry, Federal Police Chief Maribel Cervantes on why 14 Mexican Federal Police shot a US Diplomatic vehicle 152 times: They didn't follow protocol
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
HuffPo puts together a list of eight "really big assholes". Want to know who leads the list? I'd tell you but I'm afraid he might grab the microphone and not let me finish
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Dear Abby, my 24-year-old waiter son is tired of drunk cougars grabbing his ass. Is he gay? I never hear his 21-year-old waitress sister complain at all about rich older men
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
FBI raids Detroit Public Library, seizes computer and both books
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WAFB Baton Rouge)
 
 
 
Customs officials seize truckload of pot-filled piñatas, ruining what would have been the most awesome 6th birthday parties evar
source: wafb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Having used up all the cool monikers, the FBI is now referring to their latest wanted bank robber as the "Thou Shalt Not Steal Bandit"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Judge gives teenage burglar no prison time as long as he. A) Makes his bed. b) Does the laundry C) Is nice to his parents. D) All of the above
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
Deer attacks man, steals his cigarettes. The roles of hunter and prey have been officially bucked
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A 55-year-old maritime pine that was covered by a tree preservation order is blocking your view of the harbor so do you. C) Pay a friend to cut it down in the cover of darkness
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Principal of Cortina Elementary School wants to suspend a student for the rest of the year because she wrote, "See ya Cortina" on Facebook
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Attention fatties and unrepentant man-children: Please resume your Twinkie hoarding
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Bus explodes in central Tel Aviv, at least 10 injured
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Survivin_ _unman fr_m Mumbai terr_r attacks is han_ed in In_ian pris_n
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Boston)
 
 
 
Oldest female WWII veteran in Massachusetts dies at 104. Tag is self-explanatory
source: boston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Video catches 16-year-old London girl getting cold-cocked and knocked TFO in broad daylight
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
What, you didn't think Israel meant they were going to stop attacking, did you?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Why British singers sound American. Is it something related to why people don't stutter when they sing?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Gazette)
 
 
 
What's it like to find unexploded WWII ordnance? "It's like being in the room with an elephant with diarrhea. You have to give them plenty of room"
source: news-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Australian)
 
 
 
Mount Doom erupts on schedule to advertise Hobbit movie (w/photos & video)
source: theaustralian.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
At two years old, this terminally ill boy is the best man for his parents: "He smiles all the time, even when he's going through pain. That's amazing to see"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Ladies, are you tired of that pesky pinky toe not fitting into your favorite stilettos? Boy, do we have the surgery for you
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 20, 2012
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Criminal/ terrorist of the week told the police he had threatened to blow up the mall because his associate had stolen $180 worth of cannabis from him. He returned to the mall because he wanted a pizza
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
'Two-faced, one-eyed crazy biatches' basically sums up this week's mug shot roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edge on the Net)
 
 
 
Ex-gay minister who used his wife as a biblically correct receptacle for all the confused men he was mentoring charged with having one of them smother her with something more than love
source: edgeonthenet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Police department plans to Tweet all of the calls that they receive for one full day so that everyone else can see the nonsense that they have to deal with
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wal-Mart's Black Friday Showdown, which pits low-wage workers against greedy management and owners
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Keeping your mummified dead husband around for 3 years, while praying for him to come back to life, may not work out for you. Just sayin'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Churchgoers pray for naked man to fall through church roof and get rewarded
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman traveling 100mph in a 30mph zone tells the officer that it's her co-pilot's fault. Yes, God is her co-pilot. "I was letting the Lord's spirit guide me"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ImageShack)
 
 
 
Photoshop this killer rabbit
source: img69.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Rich Wall Street CEO to old people: "Get back to work, you"
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Texas day care owner gets 80 years in fire that killed four kids". Seems a bit much, she'll probably burn to death in the first three or four minutes, anyway
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
The UN sends a letter to Eric Holder asking him to challenge the CO and WA marijuana ballot measures. If Holder does nothing, the UN will send another letter telling them how disappointed they are
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Homeless shelter evicted
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Victoria Times Colonist)
 
 
 
Six high-end coffemakers stolen in one afternoon from three Starbucks locations in Canadian city. Police have grounds to believe it was a thin, medium height dark-complected con man. A skinny grande mocha smoothie, if you will
source: timescolonist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Quality inspector on new Seattle bridge: "I won't drive across that bridge when they have it built." Enjoy your morning commute, folks
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Woman calls cops about noise from Salvation Army bell ringers; 'It makes me hate Christmas'
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Examiner)
 
 
 
TSA: "Photography at the checkpoint is perfectly legal, but we may try to have you arrested anyway"
source: washingtonexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Visual News)
 
 
 
Pie pie chart
source: visualnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live5 News Charleston)
 
 
 
Martin Luther King Jr. tapes discovered in pristine condition in Summerville home. Rick from "Pawn Stars" will give you five bucks for them
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Hero mom makes her morning coffee, saves family of seven, pours second cup
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cabbage collectors
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
So is it OK to divorce a spouse who changes gender if you give it a shot and find you're just not into that?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
Ice cream shop creates Thanksgiving flavors, including such holiday staples as Tears and Bitter Resentment
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Calvin and Hobbes artwork pulls in a record shattering $200,000+ at auction. That's 4 million visits to Lucy's booth
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Over the last 3,500 years the petroglyphs adorning the rock faces in the eastern Sierras have withstood, flood, fire, and earthquake, but they were no match for asshat thieves with rocksaws and power hammers
source: articles.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
9) Shopping on Black Friday
source: business.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Looks like One-Eyed Willie is getting blown pretty hard and fast today
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
News: Canadian province facing milk drought. Fark: Breast milk
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Corpus Christi Caller-Times)
 
 
 
Drive-in service offers: a) coffee b) burgers c) strippers
source: caller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Investigators say soccer team's UFIA hazing "goes a lot deeper than we probably know about right now." That would explain why they can't use their hands
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
If you're going to troll Anderson Cooper on Twitter by criticizing the fairness of his Israeli/Palestinian conflict reporting, you might want to delete all those tweets about coconut flan before you do so
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In the Indian version of Romeo and Juliet, Tybalt and Capulet seriously wound Juliet, and kill Romeo and their two young children
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The first time I set eyes on Malala Yousafzai, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to stone her. British-based Islamic radicals are announcing a fatwa on the 15-year-old girl shot by the Pakistan Taliban
source: india.nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Looks like another dolphin drug deal went bad
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Officer shot 15 times in Sikh Temple shooting says "I am not a hero." Survivors say otherwise
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
Eleven hours of police overtime or three minutes with a chainsaw? Hmmm, let's decide
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRCB)
 
 
 
What the weird tag was created for: pygmy goat kicked out of city for violation of residential livestock law has been named Grand Marshall of Main St. holiday parade
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
A strange muppet-like beast has been shot dead in Namibia. Yeah, right, if this is another lame Elmo link I'm going to ... AAAAAAH WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING?
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Dumb Ways to Die. It's more than just a PSA about staying safe around train tracks
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
The end of winter, and other horrifying new global warming projections (cuz you didn't take the previous ones seriously). EVERYBODY PANIC
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Kurt Vonnegut gives advice to an incoming teacher on surviving at Iowa: "Every so often you will go nuts. All of a sudden the cornfields get you...Don't ball undergraduates. Their parents are still watching...Burn this letter"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Imagine California hosting a vote to secede. That's essentially what is happening in Spain right now
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
An automated kiosk that pays cash for used cell phones sounds like a good idea, until it is completely buried by thieves looking to offload some stolen phones
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBZ2 Bangor)
 
 
 
Preschool teacher may have discovered the latest fad for toys this holiday season. Empty cardboard boxes
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
You can't say that on the internet. Okay, the Politics tab maybe
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Hamas fires rocket from Gaza at Jerusalem, misses and ends up hitting Palestinian held West Bank
source: live.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illinois State Journal-Register)
 
 
 
Today's "teacher having sex with students" story comes to us from Springfield, IL. The teacher was not qualified to be hired in the first place. With mugshot good...uh, with a mugshot
source: sj-r.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Fun: Toilet papering historic oak trees on campus after your team wins a football game. Not so fun: Putting out the inferno after some of the toilet paper catches on fire
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Detroit is famous for its cars, Motown, and someday soon, its multifamily housing project built from retired shipping containers
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
You might be out of shape if you suffer a stroke while playing darts
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
In Thailand, there's an "epidemic of penile amputations." FTA: "Thus, it is quite usual that an amputated penis is tossed out of an open window, where it may be captured by a duck"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
She don't eat meat, but she sure likes the bone
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Tip 1 for robbing a bank: Don't pick one police have under surveillance. Tip 2: If you must ignore tip 1, be this guy
source: triblive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyFox Twin Cities)
 
 
 
Cops are not in trouble for getting people high, because the witnesses were too high to be witnesses
source: myfoxtwincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Man tries to burn down ex-girlfriends home, gets tag-teamed by Smokey the Bear and Darwin
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Colorado Springs Gazette)
 
 
 
When you buy your bales of hay off of Craigslist from a farmer in Texas, sometimes he'll throw in the fire ants for free
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One in five men has a secret email account they use to hide correspondence from their partner. In other news, have you checked your ultrafark account lately?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Turns out the economy is not the only thing Republicans are good at crashing
source: openchannel.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
CIA shutting down its Climate Research Center. Ok boys and girls get out your tinfoil hats....Why did they shut it down? What did they know? What's Obama Up to? Why is my Coffee cold?
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Perth Now)
 
 
 
People are using hammers, saws, kitchen knives, teeth and grinders to open clamshell packaging. I'd give one of my remaining fingers for a better way
source: perthnow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
New York Times can't take parody, gets Twitter to close account that mocked the paper
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(KGW Portland)
 
 
 
Normally it takes Michael Bay to make this stuff happen
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
How would you describe a large inflatable device being inserted into a subway tunnel to block floodwaters? The NYT is going with "filling in a giant concrete and steel cannoli"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Deep-fry a turkey without burning down the house. Step 1: Don't invite David Byrne
source: bites.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Group of female letter carriers wins settlement after boss tries to put his fourth-class package into their mail slots
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy in the wrong business)
 
 
 
Would you pay $350 for this?
source: shopping.sierralivingconcepts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Take your children to work day is useful in showing younger kids what it's really like in the adult world. However, if you like to rob banks, you might want to think through this whole parenting tradition
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(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Is it time to ban Christmas presents?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Long, long ago, Black Friday sales started on a day called "Friday". Ah, those halcyon days of innocence, when retailers cared about employees, elves could pass sex offender background checks, and no one cared about nativity scenes (Not safe for work language)
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Teacher bars student from class because she: A) threatened other classmates. B) continually showed up late. C) smelled like curry
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
What does modern war sound like? Tag is for those who were there
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Charges against dude with the suspicious watch at the airport dropped. With a picture of the suspicious watch. Frankly, this guy was asking for trouble (especially if he expected TSA to be understanding and get his hipster irony)
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CafeMom)
 
 
 
Here's an amusement park ride where women get off before the ride is even over
source: thestir.cafemom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter