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| Sun October 28, 2012 |
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Live Updates and Analysis for Sandy - your Sunday evening discussion thread
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Subby got a deal on a ton of mild horseradish sauce for the hurricane. What is it best for or in or on?
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Photoshop this celebratory team manager
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New NASA photo shows how massive Frankenstorm Sandy is
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I was rioting at the Park Slope Food Co-Op for organic free trade wine before rioting at the Park Slope Food Co-Op for organic free trade wine was cool
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Protesters blocking traffic in a major city is a dirty deed, but in Spain it's a dirty deed done with sheep
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'When I started taking pictures again, I saw the dead. I would be standing taking a photograph of a young girl for her portrait but behind her I would see them like ghosts standing there"
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| (7Tool) |
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Germany is producing so much energy from its windmills that it risks creating a grid collapse
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,pf$pf$pf$pf$pf$pf$united states|661e4 8387d5b10048291 c076b8e3055c; ap_subject_id:general
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Twelve photos that show New Yorkers don't know anything about hurricane preparation
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News headline from The Hobbit, or news headline from Iceland? You decide: "Bike Path to Avoid Elf Home"
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Photoshop this guy getting his butt kicked
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Hey everyone, the country's homeless problem has been taken care now that dozens of affluent people spent the night sleeping in cardboard boxes designed like a castle, a spaceship, and the Eiffel Tower as a sign of solidarity
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1) Make headlines for leaving children to join OWS. 2) Divorce rich husband. 3) Profit
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Parent's complaint gets Stephen King book removed from high school. But sometimes they come back
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"The goat was last seen wearing a blue and gold Navy scarf"
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Johns Hopkins engineers' computer model predicts 10 million are going to lose power due to Sandy, and they've produced a nice map so that you can see if you're doomed
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In praise of emoticons ;-)
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"There is no better alcoholic beverage than hard cider"
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Stand Tall: Lady Liberty is ready for her closeup, the Statue of Liberty reopens today after a $30 million renovation
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Drew Curtis of Drew Curtis' Fark.com implicated as a government informant?
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| (MTA) |
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NYC MTA to shutdown tonight. Um...EVERYBODY PANIC
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If you've been wondering where you can get the best gourmet caramel apples in Chicago, CBS has you covered
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Subway employee foils armed robbery attempt by hurling hot soup at the ghost-masked thief
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♪ Oh yes they call it the streak ♪ The I-96 shooting streak ♪ Worst shot on four wheels ♪
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Busch Gardens welcomes ugly ass baby white rhino
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The porn industry is "fueled by innocent pictures"
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Photoshop Romney's flag football game
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Researchers discover why children think they are invisible when they hide their eyes - and it's not what you think
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NASA is letting people watch the Space X Dragon spacecraft make its return trip back to Earth live
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Asians are 14% of the city's students but win 60% of the seats to elite high schools in a competitive exam. Do other ethnic groups A) Study harder, B) Learn from Asian culture, or C) File a lawsuit?
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Tsunami warning issued for Hawaii
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If at first you don't succeed, then drunkenly ram the Smart car in your kids' school parking lot again and again
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Did anyboody else feel that, eh?
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| Sat October 27, 2012 |
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You know that picture of an Alabama sorority girl holding a poorly-spelled, anti-Obama message scrawled on the back of a pizza box? Turns out she's really from Boston, her school doesn't have a Greek system, and she's pro-Obama
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...but really, who hasn't gotten so mad at their significant other that they've poured hot wax on their face and punched them in the nose?
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Remember the good old days when you could be as drunk as you wanted to be inside a KFC restaurant while your little 2-year-old son ran unsupervised around the restaurant and nobody would call the cops?
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Photoshop this strongman stunt
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Unlimited election spending caused a sharp improvement in the US economy last quarter
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They see me rollin': Denver police department unveils low-rider squad car
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Alabama to vote on segregation. This is not a repeat from the 1960's
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Scientists discover the first ever millisecond pulsar; PSR J1311-3430 in the Centaurus cluster spins 390 times per second, emitting gamma-ray photons deep into Space
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You can have my bacon when you take it from my cold, dead hands
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Things to do with your mom. A) Visit museums. B) Bake cookies. C) Rob banks
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8th-grader sees Texas cheerleader set world record with 36 back handsprings, says that's nothing and promptly rips off 40 for the cameras. Fark: She almost lost her leg when a dog attacked her in 2004
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The greatest response to a bad restaurant review. Ever
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Author claims modern society would appear completely dystopian to a visitor from the past
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Photoshop this bowling ball juggler
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Just when you think Frankenstorm could not get any worse: it may go nuclear
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Old and busted: Sabre-toothed tiger. New hotness: Sabre-toothed squirrel. (w/ pics)
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Halloween Candy Nutrition Face-Off: Show off your knowledge of candy to the kids afraid to approach your van
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Aye, I've hud enaw ay these motherfarkin' snakes oan thes motherfarkin' plane, I have
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 26 times, you're going to Mauschwitz
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MILM wins Guinness World Record for breast milk donation after pumping 86 gallons to help premature babies
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Out Of Sight, Out Of Mind: Uncompromising pictures from inside America's overcrowded prison system show the cramped lives lived by more than two million inmates
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Teens travel the USA performing exorcisms. And no, this is not the latest TLC reality show
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How much crime does Maine have? Its so low that people think someone is pulling a prank when a stranger attempts armed robbery
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And you thought using red marker to correct their papers was what hurt their self-esteem
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Studies show that most people wash their hands incorrectly. Scientists discover a term for people who fail at washing their hands properly: Men
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Dr. Evil's weather machine is in place and there's not a thing we can do about it. Hahahahahahaha Mwhaha Ha Haha... hahaha
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Truck spills thousands of fish heads on a Seattle highway giving motorists a major haddock
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Elderly driver takes BMW down aisle in Target, moves from the needle from "Farmer's Market" to "Blues Brothers"
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Want to eat like a caveman? Go easy on red meat and load up on veggies... and don't forget to pick up some Cocoa Pebbles cereal, too - part of this good breakfast
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Photoshop this man and his mess
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German hops farmer predicts Anheuser-Busch InBev will regret switching to cheaper hops. "Eventually, they will realize customers want quality beer"
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Members of a high school football team befriend and look out for a special-needs student after they find out other classmates are picking on her. Man, I must be allergic to the grass on the football field
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Question: What do felines, fruit flies, and Count Rugen have in common? Answer: Caturday (no, it's not inconceivable, and for once it really does mean what you think it means)
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Russian President Putin on 'Pussy Riot': 'They would be at home doing housework if they had not broken the law'
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North Texas snowflakes' school walk threatened by deadly drainage ditch, according to parents who never stomped in a puddle. "So they either get wet or bang up their knees. So our concern is their general safety"
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In space, can anyone hear you scream?
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Inside the world's narrowest home: Pictures reveal how it's a tight squeeze living in house that measures just 36 inches across
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Inmate being booked into jail learns meaning of "self incrimation," when guards frisk him and find victim's ear and hair in his pocket
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Everybody don't panic, but Canada and several European countries have stopped distribution of Novaritis flu shots because, oh nothing, really
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A visit to NYC's Blackout Haunted House, where visitors receive psychological and physical abuse, including extreme disorientation, death metal music, and screaming actors
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The most satisfying job in the world
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Poetry sessions are now all the rage, putting bingo behind shuffleboard for senior citizens
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When breaking into someone's house, don't use their age to assume they aren't knife-wielding black belts
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Hot Rod Rosie, a demolition derby pioneer and real life Pinky Tuscadero, delivers her final hit at 90
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Bulldog pup reunited with family after being dognapped at gunpoint, stuffed in a duffel bag, and involved in a standoff with police
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| Fri October 26, 2012 |
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World's rarest dog at risk of extinction. Your dog wants a stake at life
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I'm going to go with the obvious. Ow, my balls
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PR execs, gay rights activists are shocked -- SHOCKED -- to realize that when most people want a chicken sandwich, they just want a chicken sandwich
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Photoshop these articulating artists
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Hacker accesses millions of South Carolina social security numbers; residents given one phone number to call. Yeah, I'll hold
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Harry Reid makes another disastrous turn to the left
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A love story told in 22 pictures. Damn these allergies
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It's Friday, you've been drunk since 9AM, you don't know where your pants are, and now we're making you take the Fark Weird News Quiz on top of that? SCREW IT, LET'S BOUNCE
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FBI foils police officer's plot to kidnap and dismember someone. This is not a repeat from yesterday
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Photoshop this crowd & that baby
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Shooting at Jimmy John's leaves 2 dead. It all happened freaky fast
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Forecasters say that Hurricane Sandy Frankenstorm III, Esq. could cause $1 billion in damages, unless it lingers long enough to affect the presidential elections, in which case damage estimates rise to $14 trillion
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800 clowns gather in Mexico City for convention. Parking not a problem as they all arrived in one car
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Subby's husband won't clean the house, but this woman has a grenade that will? No fair
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Cops in Arizona are searching for a sexual assault suspect. Based on the police sketch, they're looking for the guy who starred in "Soul Man"
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Police get to bottom of crime ring, end rash of diaper thefts
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What is the world coming to when when the judge can't even send a nekkid pic of himself to his bailiff?
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"The Case for Not Voting." Apparently it boils down to being too busy
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What you need to know about the upcoming FrankenstOH MY GAWD EVERYONE PANIC
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You know the media is excited for Hurricane Sandy when the anchorman's chest waders have their own twitter account
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Orangutan survives after being shot 100 times. Always remember rule #2
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Dumbass area man accidentally calls police, alerts them to drug deal
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Be advised: if you choose to smuggle nine illegal aliens in an old pick-up truck and you refuse to stop for the police, then Texas State Troopers will kill you and your passengers. From the air, with an armed helicopter, just like in the movies
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Widely publicized $5M offer from Trump gets ignored by White House. Spokesman stated that America will not negotiate with hairrorists
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Italy in state of panic after being rattled by magnitude 5 earthquake. Maybe if they hadn't thrown all their earthquake scientists in jail for not being psychics, someone could have warned them this was coming
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Sandy welcomes 21 new residents to Bikini Bottom
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East Coast Frankenstorm update: still expecting devastating plastic lawn chair impact
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A truck full of snails crashed on I95 in Maine slowing traffic to some kind of slowed pace
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Feb. 14, 1902: A festive night in the smallpox ward
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Your weekend Give Joe the Bird thread. Twitterbomb campaign coordination and your latest photoshoops. Get it all here
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Iron Photoshop ingredient: Captains
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Worker sells stolen 800-lb industrial batteries for scrap. Police say there's a hefty charge
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DC Man defects to Russia rather than face a DUI
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Not only do you have to contend with all the poisonous spiders, snakes, jellyfish, octopi and crocodiles. Now poison gas canisters are washing up on Australian shores. Australia has a vendetta against humans
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This may come as something of a surprise, but Keith Olbermann is having trouble finding work
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Ronald McDonald breaches restraining order... by following his wife to McDonald's
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FOX News warns that a bit of wind and rain could cost taxpayers $1,000,000,000, but the Iraq war paid for itself with oil revenues. They do the math, you laugh
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After a cop smells marijuana coming from a car in the McDonald's drive through, the driver tries to explain what he's really smelling is the scrumptious aroma of fresh McDonald's french fries
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High school students stage play depicting rape, oral sex, and child abuse. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this
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Meanwhile, someone was really pissed off about the price of gas in Brussels
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Immigrant British member of Parliament says immigrants know more about Britain than the British, also have posher accents, better teeth, tastier cuisine
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Man sentenced to 13-years for growing marijuana is outraged he didn't get sentenced longer in recognition of the fact that he had grown one of the country's largest cannabis crops
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As per her dying wish, man has wife's vagina carved on tombstone -- as cold and motionless as when she was alive
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What's the latest gem of a movie you've stumbled across on late night TV that you've never heard of before? LGT mine
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Poorly worded craigslist ad leads to a family's entire house being gutted of everything not bolted down to the floor. "I hope they would have a good enough heart to bring our stuff back"
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| Thu October 25, 2012 |
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Concerned you've forgotten your biblical end of the world prophecies? Here's a handy flowchart
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Attention hunters: if you were ever lucky enough to get drawn for Triceratops and then were able to bag one (whether by rifle or bow) but weren't sure how to properly butcher it, today is your lucky day
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A møøse once kicked my cruiser
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Moderate to binge drinking can bamage drain
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Hennessey tuned 1,200-hp, twin-turbo Cadillac CTS-V Coupe hits 220 mph on Texas highway. Yes, Texas Law Enforcement was there ...... to watch
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Step one: Get busted robbing a bank. Step two: Wait 19 years. Step three: Profit. Wait, what?
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Third grader discovers that he mistakenly brought his unloaded BB gun to school in his back pack. He immediately and discreetly alerts his teacher, which results in a 10 day suspension. Yay "zero-tolerance"
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If you bought the sexy nanny costume, you might consider returning it and getting frog
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Proof that Obama was born in Kenya. Surprise, Libtards
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Libyan suspect in Benghazi attack dead in raid by Egyptian security forces, when bomb he was trying to use against them goes off
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Photoshop this big head on a beach
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World's largest whisky bottle contains 105.3 liters of single malt, enough to fill one hundred and fifty normal bottles or power Fark modmins for most of an afternoon
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"Mr. T began to make himself at home, confiscating mail, pens, and whole pizza slices and dragging them under the sofa, then chewing a crawl space inside the sofa itself." Enough with the kittehs, can we have a little bit of love for Raturday?
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| (Not Normal) |
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Oh, you are here to buy an automobile? EN GARDE (Sponsored link)
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Amherst College to rape victims: "Take a year off, get a job at Starbucks, and come back after he's graduated"
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Police officer's attempt to "protect and serve" his girlfriend medium-rare thwarted by the FBI
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Drive-thrus may not be able to serve you if you walk up to the window, but if you're in a horse-drawn buggy they will. This and 32 other ridiculous drive-thru moments
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Actual headline: "Man convicted of drinking and sleeping." Fark: He blew a 0.22 BAC - that must have been three or four Canadian Beers, eh?
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Photoshop this model on the catwalk
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LeVar Burton discusses resurrecting Reading Rainbow as an iPad app, but subby is hesitant to take his word for it
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Fellas, it's been good to know you: Government forecasters say a big storm that they're calling "Frankenstorm" is likely to blast most of the U.S. East Coast next week
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Seattle proposes eliminating hygiene standards for taxi drivers. Wait a sec...there are currently hygiene standards for taxi drivers?
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Chattanooga police cite men for attempting to learn while black
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Blind, one-legged mother contracted MRSA which led to kidney failure and a devastating car crash.This HAS to be the luckiest/unluckiest woman in the world. Delete as applicable
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There's something slightly disturbing about the photograph chosen to illustrate this article
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Thirty dollars worth of mascara will not make you look like Natalie Portman
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Rhino activist is trying to stop rhino poaching by...a) sending out flyers...b) giving public speeches...or c) collecting toenail clippings and sending them to certain groups to prove that toenails are of the same material as rhino horns
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| (goodnewsguardian.com) |
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Adopted dog returns the favor, saves newborn. Or it was just having a seizure. Either way, though, the baby is okay
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If you're having problems with your neighbors, don't waste your time talking things out. Just wait until Halloween and put their names on fake gravestones in your front yard. They'll get the picture
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Oh The Possibilities: Female contortionist brings new meaning to the term flexible, and her new calendar shows off that flexibility around the office
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We all know how certain epic match-ups would really turn out: Star Destroyer creams Enterprise, Superman squashes Mighty Mouse, Predator kicks Alien's ass. But what if a human being fought a Neanderthal?
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Bus/Truck Collision Action Playset (drivers not included)
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Trump's real October surprise? He's fired. No, really
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"Welcome aboard Ryanair Flight 245 to London. Once we've reached cruising altitude we will be offering calendars for sale featuring our red-hot flight attendants in bikinis and underwear. Enjoy your flight"
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Teacher fired after sharing pic of herself lifting pupil into the air by their ears. "Was that wrong? Should I have not done that?"
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Whether it's your first time or your 500th, sometimes sex can throw you for a loop. Sometimes that's part of the fun; other times, you're left scratching your head. Thankfully, Jezebel is there to help
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While people on the East Coast from the Outer Banks on north start planning their milk, bread, booze, and TP run, the rest of us can make fun of them. It's your official Hurricane Sandy discussion thread
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Living In America: 90-year-old man shot in face during burglary sued...... by the burglar who shot him in the face
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Canadian in his Lamborghini Aventador is shocked, to learn he must insure his vehicle
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| (The Aviationist) |
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Mid-air refueling between a NATO E-3 AWACS and Air Force KC-135 tanker goes less than optimally
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WW2 Veteran who was the subject of a story about casting his final vote for president before his death is now dead at age 93. If only he lived in Chicago, he wouldn't have had to vote so early
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Feds sue Mississippi town for trying to be efficient
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| (Some Guy) |
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Member of small island Government issues statement denying he worships the Prince Of Darkness
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Man bypasses florist to get flowers for his girlfriend, gets stopped dead in his tracks
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The most unbelievably realistic pencil and paper work that you'll see for a long time, compliments of artist Diego Koi
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| (Some Roadside Snapper) |
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Good: Photo of yourself riding on a beautiful fall day. Better: While waving to the camera looking like the King of Cool. Fark: Then hitting a 'Vette in the opposite lane and catching air. See frame #19 for an awesome Christmas card
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You'll shoot your eye out, kid
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Brazilian woman gets $780,000 for her virginity. All subby got was a cheap dinner at Bennigan's and an increased familiarity with the backseat layout of an '84 Corolla
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Hot teacher drops 31 lbs at local YMCA, is suddenly able to pick up 150 lb boy at her school. (w. dead eyes mug shot)
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Did Israel just launch an air strike and blow up a military weapons factory in Sudan?
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Naked clown accosts trucker at highway rest stop
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CNN breaks out the Haagen Dazs and Midol
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Fark-ready headline: "Where to go for hairy crabs"
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If you're going to steal a van, try not to pick one that's on its way to the crematorium
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German Chancellor Angela Merkel dedicates memorial to Roma (Gypsy) victims of the Holocaust. Thankful Roma promptly turn it into a caravan campground
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At what point does a beer quit being a beer and becomes a whisky? When it has a alcohol by volume (ABV) of a 65 percent and is called Armageddon
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17-year-old girl is 'So very sorry' for driving drunk and fleeing a checkpoint at 100mph before crashing in a ditch. Also wants you to know it was really her 16-year-old boyfriend who was actually driving
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Photoshop these heroes
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"...and that's the latest from Snooki. Now we turn briefly to a boring report that Egypt has brokered a cease-fire between Israel and Hamas. Isn't that nice? Up next: Why is President Obama hiding his kindergarten report cards?"
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When you decide once and for all it's time to get rid of your massive collection of child pornography, find a better way to dispose of it than by dumping it in your apartment's trash bin
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Protip: If you're trying to outrun store employees after shoplifting, try not to drop the court documents with your name and address
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Air Force discharges single mother for getting pregnant. Well, to be fair, fighter aircraft don't have baby seats
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Urology center is seeking participants for a study on whether Valium can be effectively taken vaginally. No word on whether they're also looking for Valium inserters
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Update on Obie, the 77-lb dachshund: He's lost 15 lbs so far with his new family, is happy, healthy and thriving. So naturally the rescue shelter has filed a court order demanding him back
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Weird: An urban fox steals woman's handbag and runs off. Farking weird: Fox returns a few minutes later and gives her back the handbag. No word on whether the cash and cards were missing, however
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UNC drops the word "freshman" in favor of a more gender inclusive term. First year students will now be called "long term financially obligated clients"
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Catholic School principal has a problem with local pub's schoolgirl jelly wrestling & beer pong promotion
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| (The News Journal) |
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Cops say Kentucky man found lying in at busy intersection grass with his penis exposed showed no signs of drug or alcohol use, mental illness, or being mentally challenged
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Trump has been a schadenfreude smorgasbord today, as President Obama mocks him on the Tonight Show
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Music more sexually arousing than touch, say tiny-handed, banjo-playing scientists
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Saving for retirement might backfire
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Execution Texas style: lay on a cot while being injected with drugs. Execution North Korea style: stand on the X while we launch a mortar at you
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 390: "Time on My Hands". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed October 24, 2012 |
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Sleep well Florida, Mystery Monkey is now in custody
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A single speed camera in DC has issued 116,734 tickets and $11.6 million in fines
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Don't you hate it when you get in a fight with your wife at a party because she made a sandwich for another man and the next thing you know you're biting off your father-in-law's earlobe during a brawl? Me too
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Wife of the Year candidate puts on lesbian sex show for her deployed husband via Skype
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Gupta sentenced to two years of taking it in the pupta
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Rob me once, shame on you. Rob me twice, shame on me. Rob me three times...please move onto a different store
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Five shot, at least two dead in California shooting
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Photoshop this ugly cookie
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The LA Times discovers that cat videos are the reason the internet was invented. (With a handy link to what cat videos might look like)
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Guy arrested for putting girlfriend's cat in dryer and anonymously posts video on Youtube. Breaks down crying when judge reveals his identity, so that everyone can hate him
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Just how obsessed are you with Halloween? Would you build large full-body costumes? How about own a hearse? Get married in a cemetery? Or run a zombie walk? Bonus: One of these is a Farker
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When you misplace something, like a deceased relatives ashes, it's always in the last place you look, which in this case is the OB Sud's Car Wash
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Photoshop this pruning prototype
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If you've never seen a pastor 'out' a gay sex demon in an exorcism, well today is your day
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17 year old with an eminently punchable face arrested in connection to death of Jessica Ridgeway in Colorado
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Who knew that convicting scientists for not being psychics would result in a shiat load of scientists quitting?
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ANSWER: Blasted apart by a commercial firework, baked into a sponge and accidentally inserted into cattle. What's the question?
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Half man, half dog dresses for work for a day at the office.. it's ruff being him
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You may have seen lots of videos that try to prove that ghosts exist, but here are six of them that may be the most eerily convincing of them all
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Mother and her two small children have their pleasant day at the beach rubbed out by a real jerk off
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Give me all your chicken, or I'll cut you with my samurai sword
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Man divorces & sues wife for being ugly, wins $140,000
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Reader's Digest shows off its counting prowess in listing all 22 of the 13 things your real estate agent would never tell you
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Your homemade porn is safe. No one will ever know what happened behind closed doors with you, a woman, and a goat, Farkers
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This just in: Sun linked to skin cancer. Next up: Water linked to drowning
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Donald Trump releases "Big Announcement" on YouTube... and it's a blackmail threat
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Two sisters share 'face blindness' where they can't recognize friends, family, themselves or their husbands.... which opens up a world of possibilities if you give it a little thought
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"Before the cameras were installed, there were cases where panties and underwear were disposed of in the elevators"
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Man killed in Surf Beach shark attack was surfing, officials say, also warn ladies to stay the hell out of Rapewood Forest
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The Romney campaign has caught fire in the Virginia suburbs
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New Mexico man stops a car thief and sits on him until police arrive. Finally, obesity as a valuable crime fighting tool
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Old and busted: Bath salts rampage. New hotness: Bath soaps rampage
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"Do the dishes or the bikini picture goes up on Facebook"
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Physicists invent working tractor beam, world becomes instantly more awesome
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Arizona town mayor realizes he might not have thought his cunning plan of staging a local running of the bulls all the way through
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School volunteers are getting harder and harder to come by
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American Family Insurance drops police officer from their homeowners insurance because they think the fact he lives with his partner, a trained police dog, is "too risky"
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Girls Lacrosse coach arrested for having lesbian sex with a 15-year-old player, teaching her the correct way to play box lacrosse with no poles
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Incoming New York Times CEO caught up in British pedophilia scandal involving former BBC children's show host that makes the whole Jerry Sandusky thing look like ... erm ... child's play?
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Botanists discover scrawny, sexually undecided plant with a grasping appearance. Botanists name the plant 'Gaga'
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U.S. will regain position as world's top oil producer. This is a big fracking deal
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Missing man who was last seen leaving party in a Teletubby costume turns up safe and sound. Sound you say?
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Charley's Grilled Subs at the mall now smokes their sandwiches. A little too well, to be honest
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Don't let the black-and-white marked cars fool you: The Roofing Police are not an actual government agency
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Miss Hamilton, with the Hyundai, in the Conservatory
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High School student just mad, 'cause today, that sucka got served by his Dean
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Government-funded app contains "x-rated" pictures of naked adults and gives teenagers advice on how to lose their virginity. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this
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New study reveals that koala bears and the good folks of East Tennessee have something in common
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Cause when I'm walking through the store looking to buy some ham, I'm thinking about a naked dude strolling through the countryside wearing nothing but a cap. Possibly Not safe for work due to exposed hamhock
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The bar codes on TSA's premium pre-screening program boarding passes contains info about the level of security screening a passenger will get. Good thing handheld computers that can easily read bar codes aren't in widespread use yet
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It may be possible to get high just from breathing the air in Rome. Holy smoke
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Hackers hit 63 bookstores, steal credit card info. In other news, people still shop at these strange places called "book stores" which apparently are like much better-smelling libraries
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The TSA is sick of your whining and reminds you that you should be very afraid, Citizen
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Deer killed by cars are being turned into compost and scattered by the side of the roads to send a message to other deer
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Photoshop this fire suppression system
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| (Washington's Blog) |
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Fukushima's sinking, man, and I don't wanna swim
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A caged bulldog. A parakeet. Pigeons. A turtle. Samurai swords. Child pornography. Mouse droppings. Two rifles
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Woman wins national car parking championship
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If you and your family tortured and murdered a girl 47 years ago that's a firing right here and now
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Good: Couple has healthy baby boy. Bad: Dad has to deliver the baby himself. FARK: In a hospital
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| (Some Special Olympics Blog) |
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An open letter to Ann Coulter from Special Olympics athlete John Franklin Stephens
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Couple are not lesbians, not heterosexual, totally smoking hot (w/pics)
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Choice of Halloween decorations for retirement home "too soon"...literally
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| Tue October 23, 2012 |
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Boy walking pet owl attacked by gang armed with silly string... then things get weird
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Denny's launches a Hobbit-themed menu. And yes, you can sip on Bilbo's Berries as well as get down on Gandalf's Gobble Melt
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A quick note on the 2012 Headline of the Year contest, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/14 - 10/20
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Judge rules TSA checkpoints officially free of First Amendment encumbrances - hide yo kids, hide yo wife, TSA be gropin errybody in here
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Photoshop these ladies looking up
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Smoked Ribs. Smoked Cheese. Smoked Water? Can we just admit that the food industry is totally trolling us now?
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Hidden messages in music designed to mess with your head. Not surprising: Pink Floyd is included. Surprising: So is Radiohead (Featured Partner)
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Ever show up at a wake only to find out you are the deceased? Yea, I hate it when that happens
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We've secretly replaced today's movie, Madagascar 3, with Paranormal Activity 4. Let's see if the children notice
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LA's latest craze is a $1200 injection of collagen that reportedly doubles the size of their G-Spot from nonexistent to still nonexistent
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Photoshop this workshop of the gods
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Call it Fashiongate: Are top designers around the world conspiring to ensure that Michelle Obama has a better wardrobe than Ann Romney?
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Not news: Guy gets arrested for having sex with his (hot) girlfriend in the middle of the day in a restaurant. Fark: The 9-1-1 call
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Old and busted D.C. City Council campaign issues: Crime, public transportation. New hotness campaign issue: Which candidate drops fatter beats?
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A Swedish guy became a celebrity by confessing to lots of murders. Falsely. That he looked up in a library. Hilarious incompetence ensues
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Japanese justice minister quits after it is discovered he played yenta to the Yakuza
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From the Nice Try files: NY court rules that lap dances aren't art, do not contribute to the cultural enrichment of a community, and therefore cannot claim a tax break
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"I will kill one pregnant woman a month starting now until Lee Boyd Malvo is set free"
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A look at how the human race almost went extinct before it ever even really got started. Yes, a super volcano was involved
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In 999 out of 1,000 cases, it is unwise to show police your testicles. This is not one of those cases
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"It's wonderful. It's like the heavens coming down and history, and this thing probably came from an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter. I mean, how cool is that?"
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Church returns gay parishioner to the closet
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Once you've robbed a bank, your expectations for customer service should probably be pretty low
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McDonalds employees accidentally give customer an Unhappy Meal
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New bank opens. New bank robbed on same day. With "I need my fix now" pic. (tag is for robber)
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Researchers say shy fish have better survival odds -- not necessarily koi, just shy
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Cupcakes designed to look like symptoms of sexually transmitted diseases go on sale. WARTS ALL THIS THEN?
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"Just a moment kids, daddy has to check in to his brothel... I mean office"
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Wow your date with a candlelit dinner at Cabbages And Condoms (plus other genius restaurant names)
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Southern charm and gracious manners require you send flowers after driving your truck over a sunbathers head
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Apparently labeling your beverage as a 'Monster' and noting on the can that the drink is not recommended for children and people who are sensitive to caffeine, and calling your product a "killer energy brew" isn't enough
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Watch is returned to retired Navy sailor 53 years after it was stolen. You read this in Christopher Walken's voice
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After hiring pilots to fly banners along New York skyline seeking help from Barack Obama and Mitt Romney fails, Russian man runs last ditch Hail Mary play
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We don't need no stinking masks, for the Evil Baby Glare-Off
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Clearly having figured out the flaws in his original attempt, 19-year-old mastermind returns to the site of his attempted millionaire kidnapping
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Does the U.S. Military still use bayonets? Of course, bayonets are useful for keeping prisoners under control and for "poking an enemy to see whether he is dead"
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If the police are looking for your car full of stolen items, always wait until after they are finished with the crime scene investigation at the house you just robbed before you slowly drive past it
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During an exam, a trained employee watches the feeds from the cameras in a separate room and then informs the instructor of any activity that resembles academic misconduct
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Oldest Battle of Britain pilot (and chief brewer) dies aged 99. Sinking a pint for a true hero
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Fark ready headline: Convenience store clerk gains money following robbery attempt
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Sept. 2011: "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" repealed. October 2012: US Army paints its tanks pink
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The most overtly homoerotic WWII vintage towel ads you'll probably see all day
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Sorry honey, scientists say PMS is a myth. Don't kill the messenger
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When you're so infamous for brutality that your badge number is known by the entire city, you just might be a headache for your police department
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Cat fashion show held in New York City featured cats that will eventually rip out the throats of their owners for the indignities they suffered
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If pot can save Denver, then why not the rest of the country. Wait. Pot saved what?
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New study shows that 8 out of 10 young adults in the "Facebook Generation"--who are between the ages of 16 and 29--have read at least one book in the past year. Unfortunately, it was probably Twilight
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Tattoo artist has perfected 3-D nipple tattoos for breast cancer patients who have had mastectomies (with maybe Not safe for work pics)
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If you're ever in San Francisco, you can pay a professional masseuse $350 to slap you in the face. Or, you can tell the first woman you see that she has a fat ass, and get the same treatment for free from an amateur
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Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah 'Wah wah Wah Wah, Wah Wah'
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World's biggest bra put up for auction. Please note: world's biggest boobs are not included with purchase
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The woman who sparked a debate on beauty after Facebook picture in her underwear. Warning: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves
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Thieves made off with an Henri Matisse painting at the Kunsthal museum in Rotterdam, Netherlands. Photoshop a replacement
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Fark-inspired fundraiser for the Youngstown, Ohio Saint Vincent de Paul soup kitchen has raised almost $15,000 in just four days. Let's keep the momentum going for a great cause
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Buzzfeed hates the word "moist" too
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Frank Tanabe, WWII Veteran and Japanese internment camp Internee, has cast his last vote
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I don't understand clown phob-.. OMFG burn it with fire DO IT NOW
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A year after his awesome synchronized Halloween light display went viral, a California man's home is dark this year. Why? C) HOA (w/video of 2011 Halloween display)
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Naked man high on PCP works up an appetite during failed carjacking, proceeds to bite off and swallow his own finger. And I thought weed gave you the munchies
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Yes, someone had to write an article expressing concern over the damaging role that political debate drinking games may have on our society
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Doctor claims fast food during pregnancy is as bad for the fetus as smoking. YOU MONSTER
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Have private porn pics and homemade pornography? It usually is not private for long
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Man crawls across movie theater floors to steal nearly $70,000/week. Almost worth it
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World's best father
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Boy scared of going outside cured by three-legged dog and OMG IT'S SO DUSTY IN HERE (w/pics)
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It's Open Season on the Detroit freeway; 22 random shootings on I-96 last week
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You have a party with 100 people in an apartment rated to hold 11. What could possibly go wrong?
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| Mon October 22, 2012 |
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Describe the Obama-Romney debate using only a movie title
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Forty-year-old woman dies after losing a game of "let's pull in front of a highway-speed tractor trailer while chatting on my cell phone"
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Who won? Who lied? LGT essential video to watch before you join this official post-debate discussion thread
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Parents in California are considering legal action over school yoga, fearing their children are being indoctrinated into eastern religion
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Good news: they found the serial rapist that's been charged with 14 assaults in Toronto. Bad news: they can't name him because he's only 15
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Model who hated herself at 116lbs becomes a plus size model (with before and after pics)
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If you're talking about unstable people, you'd be talking about this week's Mugshot Round-up
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This just in: Milk is a good source of protein. Next up: Vegetables are a good source of vitamins
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Late entry in the Mother Of The Year contest is a strong contender
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Photoshop former Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic during his war crimes trial
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The search for the world's most offensive Halloween costume is complete
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If you're happy, and you know it...you probably eat lots of vegetables
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"Your shawarma, or your life. And while you're at it, I'll take a medium, and why yes, I WILL have fries with that"
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One week, you're running to be a Delaware State Senator, the next, you're indicted for 113 felonies related to child sex abuse. Rough week
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Mother Nature: Screw you global warming, I'm going to have my own hurricane with snow and chicks and blackjack. Eh, forget the chicks and blackjack
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Five words that make you sound stupid...you should be like, honestly ashamed that you actually literally use these words basically every day
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Cool wedding rings for the guys who want to tie the knot with their super model girlfriend that lives in Canada
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The oldest survivor of Auschwitz has died, outliving his attempted murderer by 67 years
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Hey, remember the bad old days of "yellow journalism" when ultra-rich robber barons owned almost all the newspapers and openly slanted the news to advance their ideological agendas? Good thing those days are long gone and never coming back right?
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