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Sun October 21, 2012
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Arby's fires an employee of 22 years for running from an armed robber. I guess you're supposed to stand and fight
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay News 9)
 
 
 
A naked woman in Florida walking around the road holding a cross eventually goes home... Just kidding. She eventually gets shot and killed by the cops after some passersby take a few cell phone pics
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Santa Rosa Press Democrat)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pizza delivery
source: pressdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Teacher injured by plot of 'Piranha 4'
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Huffington Post happily gives the details on FARK's fundraising campaign for the Society of Saint Vincent DePaul
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Chainsaw carving takes a steady hand, especially when it's the only one you have
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Housewife claims she spent five years being raised by monkeys in Colombian jungle after kidnapping
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beaver County Times)
 
 
 
Man at Halloween party mistakes 9-year-old girl in costume for skunk, shoots her with shotgun. Wait, what?
source: timesonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby octopodes born in Loango National Park. With ugly-ass picture. Octomom, Doc Ock wanted for questioning
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Two things are certain on Halloween: Sugar overdose, and these people
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Most people make a Christmas village in their home, this couple made a village of the dead for Halloween, which looks a lot like a Christmas village
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: If you burglarize a house, don't celebrate your ill-gotten gains by standing around in the backyard drinking beer
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dear Deidre: I am 21 and having mindblowing sex with my cousin's 33-year-old boyfriend. He said he's tired of his current girl and wants to make me his new girl. The family found out, and he has dumped me. I still love him. What should I do?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this low-tech launch
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(About.com)
 
 
 
Write a short Haiku or poem about Arizona
source: phoenix.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest News (Seattle))
 
 
 
13 year old has NO IDEA how his Mountain Dew bottle got filled with whiskey. Sounds legit, let's sue
source: nwcn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
25 down, 58,376 to go
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
School bus driver takes blind kid on a several hour long drunken joyride. Fark: Driver had two prior DUIs, 7 license suspensions, multiple speeding tickets and drug charges
source: bostonglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Hipsters bring "youthful energy" to Detroit. When they finish moving in we can build a 50 foot containment wall around the city
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WISN Milwaukee)
 
 
 
Time to reset the "Number of Days Since Mass Shooting" clock
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British red squirrel tries to bring back disco. Subby cheers for the invasive grey to finish them off
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Father catches peeping tom looking at daughter, "minor injuries" are involved. With mugshot goodness
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Officer, our bulldog was stolen at gunpoint, thankfully the rest of us are OK"
source: nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A fight on a Phoenix train came to an abrupt end when an area man broke up the fight. Fark: The area man broke up the fight by pulling out a samurai sword
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiegogo)
 
 
 
Just in case you haven't heard...the BIRD is the word... It's our Sunday GJTB thread.... Let's keep the bird rolling for some great charities
source: indiegogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
If all the previous presidents were alive and running for office, who would win? Washington? Jefferson? Lincoln? FDR? JFK? Reagan? Clinton? You be the judge
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Judge decides that a high school math teacher asking a student to model a thong for extra credit just doesn't add up
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
McGovern finally catches up to Nixon
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man drives his car around inside a shopping mall, is amazed to see the new Oldsmobiles are in early this year
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Good: Winning a Freedom of Information Act judgment. Better: Against the FBI. Best: For $470,000
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
The days of being able to buy trousers from a bazaar in Egypt at 3 in the morning are coming to an end. "They want to turn us into Switzerland overnight"
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
16-year-old girl refuses to leave her room after lifesaving drug treatment causes her to grow a beard. The fact that the beard makes her look like Kevin Smith doesn't help matters, either
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study: Average 25-year-old woman lives with her parents, is unhappy in her job, has bad sex
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
TMZ's annual dog Halloween costume contest. #51 for the win
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Mainichi (Japan))
 
 
 
Sixty-nine-year-old man swept up by garbage truck near his home, later discovered at sorting facility, ready for composting
source: mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Baltimore)
 
 
 
Man runs the Baltimore Marathon in two hours and 46 minutes while wearing flip flops, immediately becomes first person to flip flop his way though a sub-three hour marathon since Paul Ryan
source: baltimore.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 20, 2012
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Score one for diplomacy
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Man charged with egging ex-wife. "I guess you might say *puts on sunglasses* the yolk's on her"
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Japanese artist makes models burst at the seams with creepy zips, buttons and laces painted on their skin
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
The next big thing in food? The grilled cheese
source: moneyland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fun run
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
"He's a superthief. A superthief. He's superthief-y ... yeah"
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Asshat who blinded Navy pilots with a laser because the didn't like the jet noise over his house sentenced to 18 months of strafing runs
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pregnant Mom kicked off of bus over baby's dirty diaper. No, the walk did not hurt her
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girls, what did you think would happen when you wear a skin-tight, cleveage revealing costume and go someplace full of lonely, horny nerds?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
If you decide to file false charges against an innocent driver, make sure you erase your dashboard video of the encounter
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiegogo)
 
 
 
Jorts, lulz, and a sweet, sweet ride... It's your Saturday give Joe the Bird thread. $14,000 raised so far, Let's give Biden his Trans Am for charity
source: indiegogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBAL-TV Baltimore)
 
 
 
Public invited to name aquarium's newest baby sloth... you feel lucky?
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The makers of the "Sexy Big Bird" halloween costume may be dealing with a sexy big lawsuit
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop the baby stroller
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Not news: Teacher gets arrested. News: Arrested for possessing date rape drug. Fark: Possessing $250,000 of GHB
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
School forces boy out because of his jeans. Wait, you mean his GENES? What kind of stupid shiat is that?
source: gma.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
California's Point Reyes declared the official landing site of Sir Francis Drake, ending a 433-year old controversy over where the English wanker landed in 1579 and claimed California in the name of England
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Using coupons on a date is no longer tacky, says broke, dateless people
source: lifeinc.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
In a last-ditch shot at glory, here's last week's mugshot roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
The End of Cable: What happens if TV goes the way of Music and Newspapers?
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upper Michigan's Source)
 
 
 
When seeking medical attention after inhaling toxic chemicals from your meth lab telling the hospital you were actually exposed to a deadly WWII nerve agent is probably not the best way to avoid police involvement
source: uppermichiganssource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
1st Native American approved for sainthood after Vatican proclaims disease cure to be "medically inexplicable", because if there's anyone who knows their science, it's the Catholic Church
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Anyone for a FARK party in Baltimore? Discuss
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Rules for life after 35. What the hell does #20 mean?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
How many lawyers does it take to sue a pharmacy into bankruptcy?
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby walrus comes to the big city, is mistaken for Wilford Brimley
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Expert says that baby-naming regret is on the rise among parents, and that it damn well should be with all the little Braden Jaden Aidens and Kayeghleighs and Dacrons and Sinutabs out there
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Pitbull owners protest proposed law banning breed, shoutouts to Miami in every goddamned song
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Ancient Roman catacomb found. By a cat. Hitting news wires on Caturday
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
So it goes
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth)
 
 
 
First "Big Tex" burns down, now this: Fairgoers rescued after "The Stratosphere", the tallest ride at the State Fair of Texas, breaks down
source: dfw.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass Panda cub takes first steps, prepares to become a meme
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Remember the man that claimed Bigfoot damaged his RV? He happens to be part of the Sasquatch Hunters club in his home area
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Time asks if it is all right for teachers to spank your little monkey
source: healthland.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these faces for a festival
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Those heartless bastards at NPR produce an audio-only report about hot French women, known as 'Sextremists', who go topless to protest.... oh for fark's sake, this headline needs more pics or video. No wonder people want to defund NPR
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Chicks who like cats = crazy cat lady. Cats who like chicks = adorable video, just in time for Caturday
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Omaha Fark Party at the Upstream Brewery Oct 20th at 7pm
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The somewhat forgotten Trayvon Martin case has taken a few unusual turns in favor of the defense
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How to win at roulette - think like a physicist
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Random act of kindness: Dept. of Homeland Security gives man a five-day vacation in Hawaii
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Granny needs a man... to fight ... in a steel cage. Any takers?
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Can an online degree really help you get a job? The answer won't surprise you
source: nation.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lily and Davey)
 
 
 
TFer's friend and her boyfriend were brutally attacked by her ex with a bat, killing the boyfriend. We are raising funds for her kids who witnessed part of this. LGT donation site. Farkers can help an 8 year old girl and her 6 year old brother
source: lilydaveyfund.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
At first I WHARRGARBL'd, but then I BRAVO'd
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Pictures from Florida meth bust reminds you that yes, for the love of god, drugs are really, really bad
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 19, 2012
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
A massive car bomb has killed 8 in Beirut. Hold on Tom, we're getting word that Lebanon is seeking to file suit against the award-winning American television series Homeland for its portrayal of Beirut as a terrorist stronghold
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Brooklyn progressives support the homeless. Just not in their backyard
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Burger King Japan debuts a pumpkin burger. That is all
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly Burbs)
 
 
 
Woman gets in accident, tries to add car insurance while in ambulance
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Today's teacher-student sex story brought to you by Parkersburg, Iowa
source: radioiowa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sunscreen recalled after reports of spontaneous human combustion
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man avoids jail even after pleading guilty to possessing child and animal porn - including sex with an octopus
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these two close friends
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiegogo)
 
 
 
Farkers helped raise over $7000 for the soup kitchen involved in the Paul Ryan photo-op - in less than 24 hours. Let's keep up the awesomeness and help keep soup flowing to the needy
source: indiegogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Turns out a dog's mouth really is cleaner than yours
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Twitter censors neo-Nazis in Germany. You know who else used to censor people in Germany?
source: techweekeurope.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The beauty pageant will consist of a swimsuit competition, their personality, and the distance between their nipples
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Woman breastfeeds a pug. The dog. Breastfeeds. A woman. A pug. With her boobs
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mutant rats laugh off standard rat poisons, eat them like candy
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The Psychic Friends Network Cannot Predict Its Future. Bet they didn't see that coming
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soaking
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
The war on 12 year old girls
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Best Korea will "mercilessly strike" South Korea if those balloons cross the border
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
The 10 most controversial Nobel Peace Prize winners. Yes, they're on the list
source: blogs.metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
In today's episode of Overreaction Theater, zoo takes down Halloween ghost decorations because some people believe they look like lynchings. Tag is for the complainers
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Naples Daily News)
 
 
 
Florida man in overdue rental van hits vehicle, flees trailer park, punches policeman, poops pants. Florida Man
source: naplesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
"Look officer, it really was Bigfoot that smashed out my RV lights, why won't you believe me?"
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TBO.com)
 
 
 
Fark headlines make for good Halloween costumes, Florida style
source: www2.tboextra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
George Washington and the other Founding Fathers died on a cross to defend our God-given freedom to eat bugs and giant, artery-clogging portions of food in eating extreme eating contests, and now somebody wants to take those rights away
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
One Bank to rule them all, One Bank to find them, One Bank to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashua Telegraph)
 
 
 
Dude1: Dude, I'm totally wasted and we just hit a school bus. Dude2: Dude, so am I, but not so much. So let's swap seats. Dude1: Sweet. Dude, where are you going? Dude2: Check it out, someone hit a school bus here. Cops: Dudes, you're under arrest
source: nashuatelegraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Recent Gallup poll demonstrates that not only politicians but 3.4% of women and 8.3% of men lied to the Kinsey Institute
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fresh out of the oven, here's your Fark Weird News Quiz. Yes, it's earlier than usual, but please do not panic. We are in control of the situation
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
War may be imminent between China and Japan over disputed islands in the East China Sea. Possibly a repeat from 1534 and 1895
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to call out your opponent for using actors in a TV spot about asbestos victims... make sure they're actually actors and not real asbestos victims
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lone Star 92.5)
 
 
 
Someone apparently tried to deep fry Big Tex at this year's State Fair of Texas
source: lonestar925.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Apparently the CIA suspected the Benghazi consulate attack was an act of terror within 24 hours of its occurrence. That must be why Mitt Romney has been seen practicing his "nailed it" smirk
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Charges have been dropped against a Perth man who was accused of causing fear and alarm by being aggressive with a black pudding
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
7 reasons diet soda is terrible for you, including the fact it gets you drunker quicker. OK, 6 reasons diet soda is terrible for you
source: todayhealth.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Was man drunk enough to warrant a ride home from Police? Friends say yes. Deputy says no. Train says it doesn't matter anymore
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Your Houston News)
 
 
 
Darwin Say: If spare tire falls off of highway overpass let it go man
source: yourhoustonnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dinesh D'Souza, the man behind the "Obama 2016" film forced to resign as president of the evangelical King's College, after failing to heed the warning in the Bible about people living in glass houses
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not a sharpie in sight: Disney faces race row by introducing new fair skinned, blue eyed Latina Princess
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Students elect girl with Down Syndrome to be their Homecoming Queen. Vote counters say they haven't seen down voting like this since a Gawker article was submitted to Reddit
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two newspapers now refuse to use the Washington's Redskins football name, the Redskins. Uninvited sex partners, immigrants without official documentation said to be delighted
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Al Jazeera)
 
 
 
Texas leads the developed world in teen pregnancies, just as Jesus would have wanted
source: aljazeera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Woman posing as Gynecologist tricks another woman into months of sex. Then things get weird
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWLTV New Orleans)
 
 
 
Diagnosis : Rash of cab driver robberies. Course of Treatment : Apply some 45 caliber ointment to the source of the rash
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
2nd man linked to the the Federal Reserve plot arrested-for possession of child porn, after agents found 3 child porn videos on a laptop in the trash near his apartment. When reached for comment, Mr Fantastic said "Whoa, that's a stretch"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Wounded British WWII hero dies at 94 and is cremated, leaving behind six ounces of shrapnel among the ashes in addition to the customary giant clanking balls
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Relax)
 
 
 
Although you might believe it's harmless to use your cell phone during a plane flight, tell that to the guy who spent five days in jail after he was caught doing it
source: relax.com.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Your Friday elephant rescue brought to you from Kenya. Bring your tissues
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
French design firm proposes a new bridge across Paris' Seine river - comprised of three massive trampolines. With hilariously absurd picture
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Illinois State Journal-Register)
 
 
 
College to offer "Reagan 101" class. In Reagan's honor, all homework to be completed on typewriters, as both Reagan and a Selectric had a semi-colon and no memory
source: sj-r.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
"Raiders of the Lost Walmart" is either a) a new documentary from Morgan Spurlock, b) a new album from Weezer, or c) a group of people searching for lost treasures in the discount bins
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Team mascot steps in to throw two fourth quarter touchdowns in upset win. BONUS: Coached by Derrick Thomas
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Best Korea Baby Bump ?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
Police departments in major cities are not anticipating any riots on election day in November. Mostly because the NBA Finals aren't until June
source: thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Icelander says the best-tasting puffin is soaked overnight in milk, which then should be fed to your cat
source: thewhitereview.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Feeling left out of all the fun of bombing people in the Middle East, someone in Beirut sets off a bomb in the Christian section and kills eight
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicagoist)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man claims speeding ticket violates his religious freedom to be a complete asshole
source: chicagoist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
The second worst part about elementary school music class: When the teachers tells everyone to spit on you (first place still belongs to having to play the recorder)
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Fidel Castro becomes Cuba's new national vegetable
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
At 21, most people are partying, getting legally drunk for the first time, and trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives. This guy started a multi-million dollar, worldwide Ponzi scheme
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News9 Oklahoma)
 
 
 
There's no need for a home security system when your 12-year old is packing heat
source: news9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Meghan McCain says she's not voting with her vagina, presumably because the voting levers aren't placed low enough
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
How to throw an obnoxious drunk off a light rail train. Pro wrestler style. ( with video.)
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Woman's request for "IXOYE" vanity plate denied. "ISUXYE" and "IFUXYE" still ok
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Colon school bus window blown out in Climax
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(some slow learner)
 
 
 
"I wasn't trying to rob the CVS, I was just trying to scare the employee because I was angry that he insulted m-- er... the guy who robbed the CVS the week before. Who totally wasn't me"
source: sooeveningnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bouncy ballplayer
source: lobshots.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Judges have ruled that Fort Hood suspect must shave beard -- they probably didn't realize that he wanted to grow it out so he could use it as a comb-over
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Number of drunken Irish expected to decline
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
NOAA releases their winter outlook, and blames their mass confusion on a "fickle" El Nino, which is known in Mexico as "The Nino"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Give Joe The Bird)
 
 
 
What started out a week ago as a joke post, then morphed into an actual thing, is nearly halfway to raising $25,000 for charity, with a side order of crazy. Your Friday GJTB thread. Update: We're over 50% now ($13,621)
source: givejoethebird.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sensationalism grab: "60% of young people in custody in the UK have experienced traumatic brain injury" but then it gets into some nerdy mumbo jumbo and I'm like cheah, whatEVER Oh My God shut up already
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Blonde blogger dons afro wig, runs into NYC's worst neighborhoods to connect with her black brothers and sisters and get her picture taken with them. Acquaintance: "I think she comes from a very privileged background and craves attention desperately"
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester Post Bulletin)
 
 
 
Reebok makes custom size 24 shoes for 7 foot, 8 inch tall man which will allow him to get back to trying to catch Jack, grind his bones to make his bread
source: postbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
This just in: Flamin' Hot Cheetos can cause some problems when the oil hits the anus
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Terminal cancer patient becomes honorary CoverGirl model, still looks healthier than the average model
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Student banned from homecoming for: A) looking too slutty; B) bringing a date of the same sex; or C) having an overdue library book
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vice)
 
 
 
Writer asks his father, who has dementia, to annotate Jonathan Franzen's 'How to Be Alone'. It's a moving piece. Why is it suddenly so dusty in here?
source: vice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Good-Bye Moon"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
FTC throws down robocall gauntlet: $50,000 for best way to stop annoying asshole calls
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Cop forgets his gun in an airport bathroom, TSA ensues
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
When you come to a fork in the road, take it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Woman films UFO hovering in the sky above her home. Yeah, it's five streetlights, but still
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Westboro member protesting at Fallen Soldier funeral stomps on American flag. Attending soldiers give him a quick refresher on the finer points of respect. (Obviously, Hero tag is for all of our service personnel) (w/video)
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The guy who owns Abecrombie and Fitch likes his flight attendants to play Phil Collins while prancing around in boxers and flip-flops
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Old and busted: War on Christmas. New and in disguise: The war on Halloween
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Seduced by your teacher at 16 thereby robbing of your childhood? Oh yeah, that's surely worth $10 million
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVB Boise)
 
 
 
Fish and Game want help with the knuckling down on moose poaching
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 18, 2012
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass albino echidna released back into wild; so much awww
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Smithsonian Magazine)
 
 
 
If the zombie apocalypse should come, shoot the crows. Seriously
source: blogs.smithsonianmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Apparently, the healthier you are, the more quickly the flu will kill you
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Study finds that teens' relationships with their dads affects their sexual behavior. And not just in West Virginia, either
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
When attempting to commit identity theft on a man whose car someone else robbed, make sure to use a better disguise than this guy
source: desmoines.komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Baby animals need a name. News: So do their parents. Fark: They're Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnakes. Ultrafark: There's a contest to name them, so let's see your creativity Fark
source: northbrook.suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hog hustle
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Oakland city council candidate robbed at gunpoint after attending a neighborhood anti-crime meeting
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
A pie chart showing who's getting all of the pie
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
The most disturbing health issue in the NFL isn't concussions, broken bones, or injured spines. It's those dirty, dirty mouthpieces. "Animal feces. That's disgusting"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Pilot arrested after hitting simultaneous landing strips
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
Do any of you dodo birds out there have $11 to prevent all future extinctions?
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
It just won't feel like the Super Bowl if I don't see Danica Patrick in a sexy GoDaddy commercial
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these gangsters
source: msnbcmedia1.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Beaverton police take hamster into 'protective custody' after owner is accused of DUI - with "you'd probably hit it" pic. The owner, not the hamster
source: mobile.oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Not news: man and woman have sex while on vacation. News: in a taxicab. Fark: in Dubai
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Hulk Hogan threatening to sue Bubba the Love Sponge for videotaping Hulkster banging his wife. Reminder: Both men live in Florida, so their vote in November matters more than yours ever will
source: clearwater.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Who recently said in court, "We are all human beings"? C.) 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Our Documents)
 
 
 
Cool item of the day: the canceled check for the purchase of Alaska. And the Russkies threw in the future Sarah Palin for nothing
source: ourdocuments.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Fark: 10 year old boy with Down Syndrome gets lost in the woods. SuperUltraAwesomeFark: He's kept warm by a bunch of puppies
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Money may not buy happiness, but winning $16 million in the lottery takes some of the sting away from having just been dumped
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Criminal genius: Lets see, I'm the sole employee of this used car dealership, and the owner is on vacation. I'll sell the entire inventory to an out-of-state dealer, pocket the money and no one will be the wiser
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
If you're going to prank a fellow employee at the Family Dollar store who keeps stealing food from the office fridge, make sure he actually drinks the laxative-laced Coca-Cola and doesn't put them out for customers to buy
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hot MILF has a fear of toilets after watching 'Look Who's Talking Too' as a child. Doctors now worried about the other nine people who saw this movie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Amorous elk banished from ranch after falling in love with a cow. Insert your-mom joke here
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Judge dumps a bag of burning kryptonite at the doorsteps of the heirs of Superman co-creator Joseph Shuster
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Vitamins, that used to be good for you, then were going to kill you, then were moderately good for you, then gave you an inflated sense of invulnerability, are now... *shakes Magic 8-Ball, which then explodes*
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What do art thieves do with famous paintings the whole world knows are stolen? Besides staging elaborate Magritte-referencing capers to return the art to its rightful place on the gallery walls, all under the noses of the authorities, I mean
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The interesting tale of Jesus's rebellious Chinese brother
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The pope isn't a Pussy Riot fan
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local 8 Idaho Falls)
 
 
 
TV anchor maintains composure when spider drops into view
source: localnews8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
FARC party: November 15 -- Havana, Cuba. Theme: Can't we all just get along?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Ponder this: If a topless and bottomless person is wearing a hat, is that person really naked?
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
If you've ever bought stolen art, chances are it's a Picasso
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Apple: We lost billions in profits due to Samsung patent infringement. Judge: OK, well then you are ordered to disclose details of sales, earnings, and profit margins on iPhones so we can just verify that assertion. Apple: oops
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Tagg Romney wants to take a swing at the President. "He had the chance to kill that SOB who named me Tagg, and he didn't"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Scottish Sun)
 
 
 
Hay, you can't do that: Woman in trouble for dumping her pet horse's manure down the toilet and clogging sewer lines
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Space.com)
 
 
 
After the Challenger wreckage was examined, the pieces were buried and sealed in abandoned Minuteman missile silos at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, where they remain today
source: space.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
New York building construction to top $30B for first time since 2008, according to study, and that's just for one studio condo described as a "real fixer-upper"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Amazon flooded with cheeky, often funny customer reviews of its binders after Romney remark. Meanwhile, what is left of your pension sits in the corner and quietly weeps
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Speeding through a closed off accident scene while telling the cops trying to stop you that they are "number one" is no way to go through life, man
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Channel 955)
 
 
 
Americans are shocked that U.S. violent crime rates are up 17% - "That's really not as bad as it seems," says everyone living in Juárez and Detroit
source: channel955.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
From boom to bust: Taliban forced to curb attacks after the cost of making improvised explosives quadruples
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
Amazon reviews get political
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
We're seeing more toplessness on TV
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
North Carolina residents are shocked, SHOCKED that their homeowners insurance rates may jump because hurricanes like to treat their region like a McDonald's drive-thru
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Connecticut)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for DUI after drinking hand sanitizer, prompts the newest pick-up line at bars - "Can I buy you a Purell?"
source: connecticut.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The old farts of anarchy
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Fruitcake)
 
 
 
Visit the site link. Enter one noun. Click the Generate Band Names button. Photoshop an album cover based on the randomly generated band name of your choice. (Please include the name of the band)
source: bandnamemaker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stylist)
 
 
 
New book uncovers the fine art of boobadoodling - or "how to scribble absent-mindedly on a boob"
source: stylist.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Newsweek will cease print operations and go all digital in 2013
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiegogo)
 
 
 
Thursday Give Joe The Bird thread. Haters gonna hate, donaters gonna donate
source: indiegogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Altoona Mirror)
 
 
 
Not guilty verdict in father/daughter vibrator case leaves legal scholars all abuzz
source: altoonamirror.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman caught with a shopping cart full of unpaid sports equipment, toys, and bedding tells cops she didn't know what was going on. With a mugshot that kind of backs up her claim
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA El Paso)
 
 
 
Naked caveman is being talked about on CNN, Kelly and Michael, amongst others. Now a look inside his man cave he built without help from the Black Bush or the Mormon Bush (w/video)
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Even under Obama's watch, the government is not responsible for the removal of the pigeons that hang out on your roof. "Well somebody suggested birth control, supposedly you can do that"
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hindustan Times)
 
 
 
Poverty sucks, especially when you're a 113-year-old dwarf
source: hindustantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Considering how prudish they were about everything else, people in the Victorian Era sure were comfortable posing for pictures with a corpse
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
60 Spitfires . . . crated, hid . . . 70 years later . . . up for bid . . . -- Burma planes
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Having successfully restored the Gray Wolf into the environment, Minnesota to celebrate by killing them all off again
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
So you're a 13-year old boy who is using your school issued iPad, when you notice that it is synched up to your teacher's iPhone. Now you can view all of her pictures, including the naughty ones... what do you do???
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 389: "Two-Tone Two Step". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 17, 2012
(CBC)
 
 
 
Want to move to the middle of nowhere? Manitoba is offering large tracts of land for $10
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Mother good: takes teen daughter to Orlando for the weekend. Mother bad: leaves behind a 10-year-old, 3-year-old, and bed-ridden elderly woman to fend for themselves in a filthy house (with pics)
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The arc of a man's urine can diagnose prostate problems. WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Five million dollar lottery winner waits 6 years to cash in his winning ticket because he didn't want his "windfall to influence his engagement and subsequent marriage" or in other words, he wanted to see if his wife was a golddigger
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
OJ supposedly kept the knife he used to commit murders and is now trying to sell it for $5 million. BRILLIANT
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Your life might suck, but at least you're not going to die trapped in your truck at the bottom of a sewage treatment pond. Probably
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Laughing Squid)
 
 
 
Always wanted to have a beard of bees for Halloween, but were worried about those pesky stings or allergies? Well worry no longer: "It's the bee beard you've always dreamed of owning"
source: laughingsquid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Onion)
 
 
 
Tearful Mitt Romney announces he has rare disease where you can't sit quietly on stool when repeatedly asked to
source: theonion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pope powwow
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiegogo)
 
 
 
Give Joe the Bird surpasses $11K
source: indiegogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Naturalized Iranian-American, now living in Texas, pleads guilty to attempting to hire a Mexican drug-dealer to kill the Saudi ambassador to the US with a restaurant bomb. No, this is not the plot of Mel Brooks' next Broadway hit
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGCI Chicago)
 
 
 
Trying to cannonball into a frozen pool. How could that end badly?
source: wgci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
NewsFlash
 
Obama administration prevents terror attack at Federal Reserve Bank. Romney to blame Obama for not calling it a terror attack soon enough. RON PAUL to blame Obama for interfering
source: news.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The "worst" examples of "unnecessary" quotation "marks" (some images Not Safe For Work)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
This will end well: Nissan is introducing a "steer by wire" so you can crash while trying to reboot your car
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
USPS hits its borrowing limit for the first time in history, blames this new fangled Internet that lets people pay bills online and even send letters to people without charge
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this desperate drinker
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Want to help give Joe the Bird, but low on cash? Dream of being an elite TotalFarker, but can't spare the dough? Here's 9 awesome ways to bring in some extra green and realize your lofty ambitions
source: lifeinc.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Student posts nude pictures of teacher online. Related: Twitter explodes
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Note to potential Johns: Not only did Maine's infamous "Zumba-Ho" secretly videotape her sessions, she also uploaded them to dozens of websites
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Our favorite Taiwanese news agency covers last night's debate. Come for the CGI, stay for the panda punching
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
American Airlines, which is in bankruptcy and just paid out millions to buy out the contracts of almost 2250 flight attendants, has just announced it wants to hire 1500 flight attendants
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
The Virgin Mary takes a trip to the Jersey Shore... hangs out at a car wash
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Couple has sex on restaurant patio in front of children
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Maine newspaper seeking earthquake survivor stories from the big one of 2012
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Home building hits four-year high. Both homes reported to be ready for occupancy before winter
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Man who tried to open plane doors had just finished the latest book in the "50 Shades" series, "50 Days Of Drunkenness"
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Doctors prepare to remove accident victim's liver only to discover she's still using it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Keloland)
 
 
 
Please do not put dead skunks in the garbage
source: keloland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Utah road construction sign warns of Zombie Apocalypse, nobody panics
source: abc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Houston)
 
 
 
Scientists: Mice can 'Sing' in tune with one another, sound an awful lot like Adele
source: houston.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
News: Police taser man with sword; Lite-Fark: Sword turns out to be stick; 5 dollar fark: white stick of the blind guy they tasered; Ultra fark: just read the last line
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Orphaned baby elephant raised by human mom, which could help explain the Honey Boo Boo family
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Vandals kill 5,800 fish at hatchery. Workers unsure how many flushes the cleanup will take
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dutch art museum now displaying Gauguin's "Girl who used to be in Front of Open Window"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
After you erect a 67ft-statue of a sword-wielding naked pregnant woman, the natural concern is about what to do if seagulls start pooping on it
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
"Deadliest Catch" star caught urinating in a puddle, and other awesomeness from the Unalaska Police Blotter
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Red Hot Russia)
 
 
 
If you're going to kill yourself, don't ask people on the Internet how to do it
source: redhotrussia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Jones)
 
 
 
WWJV: The Last Vacation of Christ
source: motherjones.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR blows the lid off of the big cat poop coffee scandal. Is the scandal A) cats are being force fed coffee beans, or B) cats are being force fed unripe inferior quality coffee beans?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Who fo'shizzled my Bizzle?
source: latino.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Indiegogo)
 
 
 
Wednesday's GJTB thread. Tuesday increased interest and activity, and a couple of $1000 donations. Let's continue that upward trend
source: indiegogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTV)
 
 
 
This is what your mug shot looks like when the guy you road rage against knows Karate
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Remember the mystery eyeball found on the beach in Florida? Now you can relive the magic in your own home
source: dacula.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this finesse form
source: farm8.staticflickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(4Utah.com)
 
 
 
Please remain seated with your seatbelt fastened until the plane comes to a complete stop at the gate and the captain turns off the fasten seatbelt light, even if you're crazy and think the wing is on fire
source: abc4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Man hits partner in face with plate after refusing to play nothing but Alanis Morissette music all day. Police unsure who to charge
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Larry Sloan, co-_________ of Mad Libs, _________ at age 89. He will be ___________
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oakland Press)
 
 
 
Man taken to hospital with a gunshot wound A) Dies before getting in the door, B) Passes out due to the loss of blood, or C) Punches a doctor and nurse
source: theoaklandpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cute 16-year-old student with nut allergy bullied by teacher with 'nut-scented candle' (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Remember when your mom told you not to eat those mushrooms in the backyard because they could be poisonous? Admit it, you thought she was joking, didn't you
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Australian)
 
 
 
This is your captain speaking. Our arrival into Sydney will be delayed by about forty minutes so we can fly low over the ocean and ask you all to look out the windows for any sign of a sailboat in distress
source: theaustralian.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
Man arrested for punching woman whose husband's legal name is Darth Vader. He later advised her that she was unwise to lower her defenses
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Become a National Guard recruiter where you can have sex with female recruits, shoot the homeless with paintball guns, pay female homeless to flash your recruits and file fraudulent recruiting numbers for bonus money...and no repercussions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
As Election Day approaches, things are looking pretty grim for George McGovern. This is not a repeat from 1972
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Your inspiring, well crafted, brilliant headline got redlighted because you are mental
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
World's. Oldest. Dad. (w/pics of dad, hottie wife and baby)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 16, 2012
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Newspaper art critic reveals why he's not the newspaper food critic
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Who among us hasn't accidentally knocked a TV off the wall while having rough sex with our sister in the bathroom of a sports bar?
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
Man has 90 plastic surgeries to appear like "a human Ken Doll." Fellas, I beg of you, don't think about what that might entail
source: 610wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Supreme Court agrees to take case on whether Monsanto can forever own our food
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this weighty winner
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
The coolest kids' literature inspired sleeve tattoo you've seen on a children's librarian all day
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USGS)
 
NewsFlash
 
Magnitude 4.6 quake strikes southerm Maine upsetting lawn chairs, subby
source: earthquake.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Will Mitt Romney lie even more this time out? Is Barack Obama planning to show up, or at least be half-comatose? Will Candy Crowley allow half the shiat Jim Lehrer did? It's the second 2012 Presidential Debate, Town Hall style at 9 PM
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(European Southern Observatory)
 
NewsFlash
 
Earth-sized planet discovered around Alpha Centauri B. Earthlings no longer have an excuse to avoid the local planning office
source: eso.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Sometimes restaurant owners are gracious when customers complain about the food, bill. Sometimes they over-react. And then there's this
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Because it's the middle of a work day, here are some Four Loko gummy bears
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Give Joe The Bird)
 
 
 
GJTB update thread. $10,400 and still going strong. More media exposure FTW
source: givejoethebird.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
Did you know it was against the law to shoot yourself in the foot?
source: on.wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hurricane Paul racing towards Baja California. HURRICANE PAUL
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
"Coca-Cola, the official sponsor of the 2012 HOLY shiat THAT TRUCK IS ON FIRE AAAAGGGGHHHHH"
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
The ugliest ass baby.. scorpions? you're going to see today
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Jersey advertising has Centrum Silver considering the Knicks, dyslexia font designed for modile bevices, and patriotic Nationals red, white and blew Game 5: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/7 - 10/13
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Celebrity sperm donor website claims to have 40 A-listers for you celebrity-obsessed women who want a Fame Babby
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What would you ask the candidates at tonight's Townhall Press Conference? Difficulty: Same question for both candidates. And no, you can't ask Candy Crowley anything
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
People who discontinue treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
CNN host throws American Family Association spokesman off air for being a tinfoil hat wearing douchebag
source: 610wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop these martial artists
source: images.huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Blemish)
 
 
 
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart may be getting back together. Coincidentally, the final Twilight movie premieres in a month. Odd how things just work out
source: theblemish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
I'm thinking of leaving sticky notes for people in returned Redbox movies. What would you write on them?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
Creators of the James Holmes is Innocent Facebook group think the Aurora victims "may be actors," won't win a popularity contest anytime soon
source: blogs.westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman locked out of car calls 911 and says there's a baby in the car to get quicker response....to jail
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Remember that teenage Pakistani girl that was shot by the Taliban? Looks like a few of them may have tried to pay her a visit at the UK hospital she's in
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Most time-lapse animation removes the previous frame when displaying the next. This one doesn't. "The ISS Stacks"
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
These animals are happier than you will ever be (Sponsored link)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Obama nails the coveted Honey Boo Boo endorsement
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Holy crap. Awesome time-lapse video of the 2 mph, two-day move of a space shuttle through L.A
source: framework.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Who in their right mind would call a $325,000 grant for the development of Robosquirrel a "lack of judgment"?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Inventor of a bicycle made entire of cardboard says his idea can change the world-just so long as it doesn't rain
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Hurricane Rafael will spare all of Bermuda except its pizza parlors
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Authorities seize over 1,000 sexy pirate costumes made in China because they contained high levels of lead. So much for getting some booty this Halloween
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How one woman blogger spent a year obeying the Bible's rules for women--to the letter--without killing herself
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Indian town council blames rape on consumption of chow mein. Seems legitimate
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Worst boyfriend ever launches 4 Molotov cocktails at girlfriend's front door, can't even do that right as 3 fail to ignite and the fourth just singes some bushes
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WBTV 3 Charlotte)
 
 
 
Jesus watches over E-coli baby. No word on why he hasn't just cured her yet
source: wbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kinston Free Press)
 
 
 
Squirrel sex leads to moment of clarity
source: kinston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJHL Tri-Cities)
 
 
 
Blood is thicker than water, but apparently not thicker than a frost brewed lager
source: www2.wjhl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Normally if you're celebrating your birthday at a Frankie and Benny's restaurant and you start making funny faces after drinking some whiskey, it's not newsworthy. But it is if you're there celebrating your second birthday
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News Radio)
 
 
 
"Popcorn Lung" couple gets $20 million settlement, files for bankruptcy soon after. Antoine Walker and Vince Young heard calling them novices
source: abcnewsradioonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Reuters fact-checkers fact-checks fact-checkers fact-checking fact-checkers
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tribune (Nigeria))
 
 
 
I am George Akume, Senator of Nigeria, during the course of our auditing I discovered a surplus of tomatoe juice and I am contacting you as a foriegner as the profits can only be claimed by a foriegn account
source: tribune.com.ng   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Something's missing
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Kids at the elementary school bus stop are giving you grief about the confederate flag on your truck. So you, c) Point a gun at the school bus and cause the driver to take the kids back to school?
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
GiVE uS 6 miLli0N d0lLaRs iN uNmaRkEd biLLS anD/oR pOutinE aNd u CaN fiNISh y0ur WtC
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
American Airlines now provides complimentary typhoid fever
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Profesor . Caught sayof school that has stoped Hiring " See, told ya so" Is He liberal bias or not. CSM Says yes. Steven Colbert Looking for Roe v. Wade -OR- "hello, I am write single to lawsuit and wait for answer again
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If you're looking for a WTF vacation destination, how about dead cocaine drug lord Pablo Escobar's vacation getaway?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Maine man has his pot plants stolen and calls the police. Stupid you say? The police find his plants and return them to him. It's a start
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Nick Jr. is now airing programs for sexually repressed single mommies who like vulgar sketch comedies as they unwind with a glass of wine after their children have gone to bed. Or before if you live on the West Coast
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
After their voracious appetite for bronto burgers made the dinosaurs go extinct, cavemen then had to start eating pandas
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Private car owner opposes bus rapid transit lanes because he's more important than filthy bus riders: "How does it matter if a peon reaches office five minute before time?"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Cuba making it easier for Cubans to flee the country, to vacation. Of course
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Charleroi, PA cats no longer having Caturdays
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Oh great, now mint chocolate chip ice cream can kill me
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter