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| Sun July 22, 2012 |
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"Missing woman with Alzheimer's found safe." Cool -- I wonder what was inside it
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Woman, who contends man owes her money, gives him 18-inches of ninja
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Pushing the envelope: Teen on LSD picks fight with mailbox
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The twenty-five greatest representations of why food on a stick is just awesome
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Photoshop this mud bath
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California police kill a fleeing man, then shoot beanbags and rubber bullets into a crowd of hysterical women and children, and cap it off by trying to buy up eyewitness cellphones
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They pull a gun, you pull a mango. That's the New Bedford way
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Photoshop these men with molten metal
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Prince Charles' 31-year-old uneaten wedding day toast sells for £230, demonstrating once again the public's odd fascination with the upper crust
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When looking for a good deal on tattoos, it's probably best to skip the guy in North Carolina who offers free tattoos on private parts
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Police chief suspends a lieutenant for the fifteenth time, after he: a) make a false arrest b) beats a drunk c) insults another cop
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71 year old geezer fights off pair of 19 year old thugs robbing internet cafe. With video baddassery...wait, internet cafes still exist?
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More powerful, user-friendly heroin moving to the suburbs...isn't there an app for this yet?
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Two wonderful cars we can't get in the US of A. Yeah, they have five on the list, but let's be honest amongst friends
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Crimefighting, canine cops carry cameras, catch criminals, curb casualties, close cases, clearly can't conceal courage, cuteness
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Spain's king loses WWF title over elephant hunt, expected to have another shot at it for WrestleMania XXIX
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Mother gives her 16 year old daughter permission to become a prostitute. "It's more honest than banking"
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Photoshop this camouflage correction
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The bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain, the bear went over the mountain to see the softer side of Sears
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JoePa's movin' again
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Cute 27-year-old blonde: "The Statue of Liberty gave me an orgasm" (w/pics)
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Man tries to teach his five-year-old niece how to drive a stick. Since this is Fark you can probably guess how well that turned out
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Colorado news reporting that police are looking for a 2nd person of interest in the Aurora theater shootings
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Arapahoe Detention Center inmates would like to have a little chat with James Holmes
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Austrian town sues farmer to force him to remove all his cows' bells. "Walken" tag would have been sadly appropriate here (w/video)
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United Airlines: We'll stop a disabled veteran from bringing his service animal on board in violation of federal law, kick the dog and injure it, and then ask the veteran if he's retarded
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Cigarettes will kill you, especially if you get in a running gun battle with a guy who won't let you bum one at the Waffle House
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Sadlkjkfdsjfkldas ljklkklklkljkljjjkas
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| Sat July 21, 2012 |
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Seventeen-year-old girl In Iran may go to jail for naming her rapists. Did I say Iran? I meant Kentucky
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Reddit responds to Aurora shooting in a way most media organizations can't (besides posting an inordinate amount of cat memes)
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Tired of paying for television channels you don't want? In Canada you will no longer have to. But here is the catch. The less channels you buy the more you will have to pay. But still, this is the best thing to ever happen
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New TV news channel in Egypt hopes to bring in the ratings by being entirely staffed by hotties
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And the as*hole of the year award goes to.......Thief who stole a teddy bear from a four-year-old, who had just gotten it for her birthday
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Fonzi's decision to NOT open Colorado shooter's apartment door after hearing loud music saved her life. AAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY
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Do picky customers that send back their free-range, organic, grass-fed, wood fire entree back for not being locally sourced care about the people that work to bring the food to them?
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Photoshop Sonova Beach
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Crime doesn't co-pay: pharmacist uses sign at Walgreen's drive-thru to foil Oxy robber
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The good news: You find a "mystery box". The bad news: It contains a dead woman
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Illinois governor signs law reducing speed limit from 40 over the limit to 30 over the limit
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Photoshop these ageless rocks
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AMC goes full Madagascar. You never go full Madagascar
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Although her soul is gone her soul food remains
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Step 1: "Unleash the Power Within" with motivational speaker. Step 2: Walk on hot coals. Step 3: very quickly followed by steps 4,5,6,7 and 8
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"You have people who are not mentally sane ... that particular individual should not have those guns". Thanks Governor
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Octomom is truly great American success story; she got off of welfare by becoming a stripper
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In Defense of Eating at Chick-fil-A: Do we really want a country where people won't do commerce with those who have beliefs different than their own?
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Tribute to Welsh 'badger man' to include lots of intentionally bad Flash animations, LOLcats
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Panhandler reveals that he made $60,000 in the last year; if you need to find subby, he'll be outside...for the next 10 hours
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50-year-old website manager, nicknamed "Sir Godiva," who stripped naked for the TSA says liberty has trumped modesty in his court appearance
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$15 million pot farm seized in northern Georgia; police reportedly go on longest lunch break in history
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You'll be glad you have extra coffee filters in your home if you ever need to polish a shoe, absorb some grease, or make some decorative flowers
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"Why Every Social Media Manager Should Be Under 25," written by the newly-graduated English major who just took your coffee order
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Photoshop this insect inspection
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Mother fumes over candy cigarettes being sold at her local supermarket
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Ohio driver; "Why am I being cited, officer?" Trooper; "Changing your radio station, and looking out your window. That will be $50.00"
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A 3-month-old kitten survives for 30 days without food or water in a container shipped over from China. Ni Hao was rescued and is proudly waving the 'Stars and Stripes' as he waits for his new forever home in time for Caturday
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Photos of cancer patient too disturbing for cancer support center
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A gardener has been giving people the finger for eight years, now police want to chop it off
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Oh my cod. A famous fish-and-chips restaurant in Phoenix goes up in flames. Fortunately not a sole was hurt, but rebuilding it will be a pain in the bass
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There were heroes in Aurora
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I don't want to alarm anyone from New Zealand, or confuse everyone else. But there's a radioactive ute somewhere in Christchurch
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| (Some logical Jesuit guy) |
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Some smarty-pants HS educator gives a great impromptu analysis of what can be taught to our kids from the Aurora media coverage. Difficulty: lots of words, reason
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Let's check on that package I was expecting. "Departure Scan: 9:39AM" Good. "Arrival Scan: 1:21PM" Okay. "Train Derailment" WTF?
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High caffeine levels found in water off Oregon coast. Fish now seen wearing horn-rimmed glasses, riding fixie bikes, perusing limited-edition Decemberists vinyl
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What could possibly go wrong?
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Mother arriving at hospital: Help, my baby's dying. Hospital: Yeah... we're kinda busy. Tell you what, though, there is another hospital about 20 miles from here, why don't you give them a go?
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| Fri July 20, 2012 |
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Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado Shooting's Aftermath Will Play Out
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| (Bembadict) |
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I am not sure how to make cancer funny, but this Farker's family needs some help. I will beg
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Driest part of Africa just finds it has been sitting on centuries' worth of water for, well, centuries
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Man: "You honor, that 7 year-old girl pinned me down and forced her tongue in my mouth, it's not my fault" Judge: "Hmm, seems legit"
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If your girlfriend dumps you why not build a secret hideout inside her house so you can spy on her? With a handy diagram on how to construct a secret hideout inside your ex's house
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Soon-to-be-ex Air Force pilot mistakes tiny municipal airport for MacDill AFB, plops C-17 down on 3580-foot runway. Difficulty: Minimum takeoff distance for a C-17 is 3500 feet
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Photoshop this cable's new coat
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(AIDS cases in) The South will rise again
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Could someone please send a boat to rescue the boat that came to rescue the boat? (With LOL FAIL pic)
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CEO of Lenovo is an America hating socialist, gives his $3 million performance bonus to his employees
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| (Some Guy) |
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Celeb Boutique tweet: "#Aurora is trending, clearly about our Kim K inspired #Aurora dress ;)" Oh, there's a winky face at the end. It's OK then
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Court rules that Disney must allow disabled guests to ride Segways, look really stupid
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Not Sure If Serious: former FBI profiler conjectures on MSNBC Dark Knight shooter was a "dark Trekkie". It's 'Star Wars' where they all have guns, dumbass
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this 1920's filming of the MGM Lion
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Friday afternoon, and we're back with another weird news quiz. Unfortunately, alcohol abuse tends to diminish our memories, so this gets more difficult the longer you've been on Fark
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Hyde Park man breaks into house, throws party, and causes damage. This kind of thing never happens at Jekyll Park
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Tampa strip club hopes to lure Republicans with Sarah Palin look-alike. Yeah, that will work
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Colorado shooter's apartment loaded with first post traps
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Thousands of Iraqi refugees who fled to Syria in the last decade to escape the growing civil war in Iraq, are now fleeing to Iraq to escape the growing civil war in Syria
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Scottish beauty queen gets £18,000 award because wearing high heels hurts her
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NOAA forecasters say the hot, dry weather will continue until at least the beginning of Fall. Which means that we're likely to see a Midwest monsoon and flooding of biblical proportions in 3... 2... 1
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I just read my husband's Facebook status. | like | comment | stab |
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Three LA homeless people found stabbed with notes. The B-Sharps wanted for questioning
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Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man how to steal fish, and he'll learn how to trade it for $400 worth of crack
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Man 'hit on' Coca-Cola delivery man while masturbating at 7-Eleven. You can't beat the real thing, especially at 7-Eleven
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"Yeah I'd like a spicy chicken sandwich, a five-piece nugget...oh, and some heroin with Polynesian sauce. Can I get a little homophobia with that as well?"
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Guy who lent his $60,000 BMW 740iL to a couple of strangers whose car broke down and were late for a wedding, gets his car back....only seven weeks late
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Hot redhead hockey reporter among dead at TDKR premiere shooting. This is why we can't have nice things
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More and more French are developing an appetite for American hamburgers. Wait until they try them with freedom fries
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After two men vandalized his shed, a homeowner held onto their getaway car, being dragged as they sped off at 60 mph per hour, stopping when they realized he was still hanging on, then beating him for good measure
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Porn-watching burglar hits several homes, left behind lubricant and towels. Now you have something to look forward to when you come home
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Feds investigating importer for sticking his banana in a couple of tailpipes during a deadly, drug-fueled sex romp
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The Armory: The secret online weapons store that'll sell anything to anyone
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Retiree spends golden years giving girls 'educational materials,' or as the police like to call it, porn
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Freshly roasted tomatoes cover I-295 in New Jersey. Police say they never sauce such a mess
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Terrorism is a disease, and apparently the cure is to go a few rounds with a cage fighter
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If your nickname is Juggs McCoy there is a restaurant in Greenville that would like to hire you. Carpenter's Dream need not apply
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Onion products may be contaminated with listeria, says area man
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Stormtroopers play tonsil tennis. And other classic moments in history (slideshow)
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Drunken woman loses her grip, disrupted kids' tennis game before getting hauled off to the Grand Slammer
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The city of Des Moines, Iowa was shocked to hear there was a mass exodus from their city, only to learn they'd been pranked by The Onion
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Neptune men arrested and charged with improper behavior, criminal mischief with damage, and resisting arrest. Belmar citizens rue the day they lowered the electro-barrier and lost the Hitler building
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Booze now banned on Scottish trains in the evenings AND mornings. How are they supposed to cure their hangovers before getting to work?
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If they ever got the chance, 2.8% of drivers would sadistically murder you and everyone you care about
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Photoshop this junk and rocket
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Here's a headline you'd think you'd see more often: Karaoke Leads To Attempted Murder Charge
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Earthquakes detected beneath New Zealand volcano that just happens to sit right next to one of the largest supervolcanoes on the planet
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Semi trailer collapses because someone loaded 13,000 pounds of freight inside it instead of the recommended 6,300 (w/pics)
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At least 20 hurt after shooting and possible bomb explosion at Dark Knight Rises film premiere
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CNN asks the tough question no other site would dare to cover: Is knowing how to drive stick in America still essential?
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1 in 13 women drink when pregnant, name their kids Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho
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CougarLife.com: for MOTHER F***ERS
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"You leave town tonight, right now. And when you're gone, you stay gone, or you be gone. You lost all your Wisconsin privileges. Deal?"
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And you thought Starbucks had crappy coffee
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| Thu July 19, 2012 |
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Dear Prudence: My husband had sex with me while I was in a drunken state. Should I divorce him?
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You're driving drunk and have just taken out 60 feet of your neighbor's cinder block wall. Do you (C) Get out of the car and take a leak on her lawn?
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Does this boa clash with my boots?
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Good news: If you're tired of being molested by the TSA at the airport, you can now officially buy your way out of it
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LOL WUT
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You know it was a hell of a party when you are found laying naked in the street yelling "Bad Drugs"
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Photoshop the GS-6 suction type sandblasting machine
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Things you don't hear everyday "I have never heard of anyone wearing a goat suit"
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In Missouri, being an illegal immigrant gives someone else the right to adopt your child away from you. USA USA
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Proof: It takes no credentials to be quoted as an "expert" by the media
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Woman calls 911 to complain about the quality of her mug shot in a local publication. So now she has another mug shot to complain about, charged with misuse of 911
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Theme: 850×1500px
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Ho-hum: Ford recalls 2013 Escape. Freakout: tells owners to STOP DRIVING IMMEDIATELY
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Admit it: If you saw a life-size cutout of a dreamy, tank-top-clad David Hasselhoff hawking iced coffee, you'd be so overcome by desire you'd just have to have it, right?
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Hundreds of turtles "run away" from Georgia farm
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Stomach tube- 4000 dollars. Airfare to Mayo clinic 400 dollars. Look of horror after TSA morbid curiosity -- PRICELESS
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Most Farker hobbies are doorways to demonic possession
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California asks motorists to pay for the privilege of crawling along on the 405
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Cash Snatch Fever
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"Gramma, I swear. I was just sitting in the car listening to music while you shopped when the car sped up, hit a tree, a power pole, then landed on top of that other car"
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Chick-fil-A finally comes out of the closet against chick on chick marriages
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"Six educated Germans cannot come together for a half hour without Nietzsche's name being mentioned." Hell, he's even sung about on pop radio by the original American Idol
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Deputy: "Yes, dispatch, I'd like to report a single-car crash involving a drunk driver." Dispatch: "Okay, are you at the scene?" Deputy: "I AM the scene"
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Bullying in the workplace increases staff turnover, even among those not being targeted. HEY DUMMY, WHY ARE YOU EVALUATING YOURSELF? STOP EVALUATING YOURSELF
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Why bad jobs--or no jobs--happen to good workers. Expert blames employers for unrealistically high expectations and unrealistically low wages
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New planet named after the University of Central Florida. Look for Academic Joke somewhere in the night sky
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Canadian submarine destroys target for the first time in a military war games in Hawaii and makes history. Canadian sailors were last seen at bars, drinking Molsons and taunting the Japanese
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Judge deals with patent trolls even better than Drew does
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. With the economy in the loo, murders down and pickpocketing considerably up, England's becoming more Dickensian every day
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In the living room. With the candle stick. By the drunk girlfriend
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Why is Russia so adamant that the Syrian regime maintain control of Syria? Because if Democracy spills just a bit north, it's in Russian territory... that has always been oppressed by Moscow
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Teens who lost kin to terror unite at Mass-ah-ah-ah-chussets kih-kih-kih camp kih-kih-kih
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Man dies when friend is pistol whipping someone and the gun accidentally discharges. You're... doing... it... wrong
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Rainbow facsimile at Yosemite
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Holy carp
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Police chief accused of hitting his wife with a chair, presumably while the referee had his back turned
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Elvis impersonator leaves his babies / and now has a new place to dwell / They took him away down the street / to the PD's jail cell
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Here's your bacon tip of the day. BACON
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Seattle Police ask for the public's help in identifying angry public urinator, have put the case of the slightly mellow, private defecator on the backburner
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Those body scan machines in the airport? They're not just in the airport. With stunning contraband photo
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Bad: Getting DUI. Worse: In a parking lot. Fark: You're a deputy. Totalfark: In a marked police car. UltraFark: While ++++NO CARRIER ++++
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| (Some Guy) |
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This six-year-old CAN judge books by their covers. For example A Clockwork Orange is "about a person who is a robot, a very colorful robot. He's pretty fancy for a robot"
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There is a three-alarm fire in the mall. You are a security guard. What do you do? C) Don't pull the fire alarm and evacuate the customers since it is against company policy
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Judge rules it's perfectly legal to strip naked in public if it's in protest of the TSA. Subby really hopes Olivia Wilde and Kate Upton are reading this and he's at the same airport as them the next time they fly
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"We must get rid of the save icon, because computers should be smart enough to save without being told," says someone who has clearly never been in the middle of a project when the power went out
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Syrian rebels use YouTube videos for weapons training. Commenters are presumably idiotic and well-armed
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Husband uses CraigsList to solicit men to rape his wife "as that was a fantasy of hers," which apparently was news to wife
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Zimmerman: I would shoot Trayvon all over again because it was god's plan for me to kill him, but I wish something could have been done to keep me from having to kill Trayvon. Zimmerman's attorneys: fffffffffffffFFFFFFFFFFFF
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Nothing says "chocolate is fun for children" like a product endorsement from Pedobear
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USPS may default for the first time in history. Hey "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night" doesn't include "internet", "18th century technology" or "politics" does it?
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Photoshop this weird window display
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Growing up unable to feel pain doesn't turn you into a supervillian. It just sucks
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Washington State's privatization of liquor sales leads to surge in liquor sales...in Oregon
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The US military enjoys sex, violence, and sexual violence
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Good dates end with kisses, bad dates end with a tuck and roll
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Naked man spotted running around his neighborhood throwing himself against walls is finally caught in an alley only wearing a trash bag. Why yes, bath salts were involved
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Copenhagen has had enough, they have banned bicycles from some roads. By giving them their own superhighway
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Senior citizens who binge drink have increased risk of memory loss, coolness
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Chinese woman who became world-famous for 72 monstrous disfiguring tumors on face and neck gets free surgery, looks like new woman
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 376: "Freeze Frame" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest
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| Wed July 18, 2012 |
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If you're running for the bus and it pulls away just let it go because man, it's gone
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| (Some Guy) |
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Caption this brush from behind
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Love Chick-Fil-A food, hate their politics? Behold, Farkers; how to make The Chick-Fil-Gay sandwich. All of your delicious grease, none of the homophobia
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57% of Americans think college is a bad investment. That's like 3 out of every 4 people
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Douchebag father takes-a-wish from his daughter to spite his ex-wife
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Department of Transportation rules say airlines must honor airfare mistakes. Like first-class roundtrip tickets to Hong Kong for 4 frequent flier miles
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Meet Michelle Jenneke, the hottest hurdler since Edwin Moses
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Think Big Pharma has too much power now? GlaxoSmithKline just bought THE HUMAN GENOME
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Photoshop these money-taking machines
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B - A - N - N - E - R - P - L - A - N - E - C - R - A - S - H - E - S - i - N - M - Y - R - T - L - E - B - E - A - C - H
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50 shades of Mr. Darcy
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Photoshop junior and his jewelry
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Antioch man charged with impersonating cop to rob home; threatens homeowner with holy hand grenade
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A nuclear plant goes astray / And so it goes dark for the day / Why verse, you request? / I highly suggest / You click, and go RTFA
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Woman arrested for calling 911 because her boyfriend wouldn't give her another beer
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"Well, what did you do today Susie?" "Oh mommy, I love this babysitter. She took me on a fun ride, there were blue and red lights, she stood on one leg, counted backwards, and I even got to get into a police car"
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Men arrested at US border crossing for smuggling: a) drugs b) illegal immigrants c) chocolate eggs
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UK billboards get unofficially redesigned by street artists just in time for the Olympics. Heads will be offed
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Bobcat gets sent to animal jail for breaking into people prison
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| (WPCVA) |
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Sisters respect their exhausted parents by going outside to allow their parents to take a much needed nap. Who knew toddlers could be so thoughtful?
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When charging in to rob someone, the surge of adrenaline can sometimes give you enough power to shock and subdue the victim. But sometimes the victim is more amped up and able to defuse the situation
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"No officer, I didn't find it suspicious at all that a hot brunette would text me her picture and ask me to meet her at a mausoleum"
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Beaver attacks dog at dog park. Rare attack beaver trifecta now in play
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There is a six-foot lizard loose in Colorado. Mothra goes to DEFCON 1
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I know the economy's bad, but when even Green Arrow can't afford pants, we're all in trouble
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Tragedy strikes researchers trying to maintain Japan's edge in cutting-edge fetish creation as Japanese schoolgirl is in intensive care after being hit in the head with a javelin
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This economy is so bad, even luxury SUVs are getting the shaft
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One of the most wanted Nazi war criminals remaining at large has been arrested in Hungary, faces life in prison. But given that he's 97, that's probably only another couple of weeks anyway
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US Dept of Education to Penn State: You folks remember The Clery Act? The federal law that requires you to report crimes that happen on campus and lets us fine the bejesus out of you if you don't? Yeah, about that
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Taliban bomb destroys 22 NATO supply trucks in Afghanistan. Fortunately, this should only cause a temporary blip in the flow of pallets of cash to the region
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Bad: you lose control of the car you're driving and hit a ditch causing you to go airborne, Good: you recover and keep going, Fark: you fail to notice that the teen that was in your backseat is no longer there
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Begun, the Troll Wars Have
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When Sandusky victim #1 filed his complaint with authorities, the residents of Happy Valley harassed his family so much he had to go into witness protection
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When walking on train tracks, focus less on turning your life around and more on turning your head around once in a while
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Ric Romero reports ice sales soar as eastern heatwave continues. In other stories pumpkins sales expected to rise in October
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Stolen Matisse painting "Odalisque in Red Pants" recovered from "couple now in orange jumpsuits"
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Man buys Texas ghost town, renames it "Bikinis." Population expected to double
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Don't you just hate it when you are pumping gas and someone steals your dentures?
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Some headlines just write themselves: 'Her breasts were swinging as she ran to the car'
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The most impressive sand sculptures you'll see all year. (Slide show)
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Meet the feminist turned hack turned part-time sexual submissive
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Protip: If you're a teacher and having sex with one of your underage students, do not text her and arrage to have sex at her home, especially if her father might intercept the message
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Hot ginger teacher pops out Hispanic-looking baby while she's acting as guardian for teenaged Mexican boy and no one at school really thought much about it
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Burger king employee who thought it was funny to stand on the lettuce no longer sees the funny side
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Blogging shown to reduce stress in new mothers. Your blog f*cks
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The police just broke up your party, so what now? Why, go trash a Walmart of course
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Stray dog makes magician's rabbit disappear. Ta daaa
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| (Some Guy) |
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Do you find yourself surprisingly sober and not hallucinating as much as you should be at school? Slam several 5 Hour Energy drinks and trip balls
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Rabid beaver attacks two girls, breathing new life into both the porn and slasher flick industries
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On the positive side, people travelling to London for the upcoming Olympics can be sure that their genitals will be groped by seasoned professionals
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Dolphins appear to do nonlinear mathmatics, still can't beat Patriots
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"F*ck it I can't read sh*t like this anymore. Listen up you little bald bastards"
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Legendary Black Journalist and discoverer of the 'Raspberry Effect', William Raspberry, Died at age 76. He is survived by his mother, aged 106
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Protip for photographers: You may want to choose an angle that does NOT obscure the "C" in CANALFEST. Just sayin'
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Syria's defence minister killed by a good offense
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Photoshop these multiple Maos
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When their daughters fall in love, Dads can feel jilted, write country music songs
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Will tourists ever learn? Don't they know to never wear flip-flops on a DC subway escalator in 100+ degree weather? And then not reach for it with your hand when it gets trapped?
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Teachers union members outraged, OUTRAGED when told that they must pass tests on subjects they are "teaching" to children
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FBI agents hope to catch the female bank robber known as the 'Baseball Babe.' Or at least get to second base
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You've been wrongly imprisoned for murder for 27 years, what do you want to do next? Sing the national anthem at a Tampa Bay Rays game? Well okay
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Smoking hot bank clerk steals thousands from employers, blows it all on boob jobs, makeup (w/pics)
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Woman removed from voter rolls twice for being dead is pretty sure she knows that she's the furthest thing from dead
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| Tue July 17, 2012 |
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A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent, and totally not gay
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God gives child brain cancer but at least has mercy enough to smite him in the head with a kickball so the doctors find it early
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Coachella might be headed to sea, which would expose attendees to water for the first time in months
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The best Northern Lights photos you're going to see today
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If you're going to get a DWI while on a stolen motorized Wal Mart shopping cart, it might as well be while you're pulling your friend behind you in a wheelchair
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And the hits keep on coming; Zimmerman called Terry "Let's Burn Korans" Jones from jail
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Woman's attempt to ride a Boston subway station escalator on her motorized scooter fails miserably. Incredibly, she was able to get up and walk away just fine. (With surveillance video goodness)
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Photoshop this vegetable vendor
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Photoshop this moon-related media
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Good news: if you keep breaking the law in the UK, eventually the police give up and stop arresting you
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People who are constantly online may develop spider voices and octopus fingers and taste like green
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I don't mind Obama using his magic drought machine to harm Southern Iran. But could he try not to hit the Midwest too?
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Group of nurses pissed off after reviewing ten videos about nurses on YouTube and discovering 60-percent of the videos depicted nurses as sex objects. For the record, one of those videos was a clip from "Frasier"
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If your car seems to be handling poorly, maybe you're in a drunken stupor. Or maybe you've lost one of the wheels. Or if you're this guy, both
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New Zealand prostitutes are "are big, strong people" who destroy traffic sign poles with their bare hands, sell death by Snu-Snu
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| (Some Guy) |
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You are a cop responding to a call about a vicious dog. Do you: A) shoot it, B) shoot it twice, or C) give it water to drink, take it to the shelter in your patrol car, and then adopt it?
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Buses carrying Olympians get lost in London on the way back from the airport. "We've been lost on the road for 4hrs. Not a good first impression, London"
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Plan to get french fries at McDonald's includes topless rant. I'm lovin' it
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The Library of Congress has selected 88 books that shaped America. Yes, Catch-22 is on here
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News: Town considers eliminating its entire police force. Fark: It's just one guy
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Drunk driver dodges barricades, speeds through work zone, hits a lighting structure, and "comes to rest with its front wheels not even touching the ground"... Too bad the reporter has never seen a tow truck in action
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Interesting: inventor has been wearing digital glasses for over 30 years. Scary: a man in McDonalds tries to forcibly remove his glasses. Asinine: they tear up his doctors letter about the glasses. Fail: His glasses recorded the whole thing
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Huge container ship MSC Flaminia is flambe
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One woman just completed her mission to hug as many people a day as possible for an entire year. And yes, you'd hug her. You'd hug her long and hard and deep
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Pentagon announces aircraft carrier to deploy four months early to the Persian Gulf so there will be two on duty there at all times. Only because it's always good to carry a spare (wink)
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Man arrested after mixing morbid curiosity with witchcraft
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When you're the President of the United States, you can pretty much ignore the Kiss Cam
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Catching rabies from a deer? Now that's a kick to the face
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Hacking: You're doing it wrong
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Overpopulation problem solved by Wisconsin and alcohol, as drunk driver runs over naked drunk lying in the road
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Joe DiMaggio and Ted Williams may be long gone, but they just set a new record
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Fresh clashes rock Damascus, the Casbah
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School is two easy
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I went to a Toronto and a Chicago broke out
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Ancient lingerie from 500 years ago recently unearthed bears a striking resemblance to something that would be worn today. Giggity
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Fail: 19 year old knocks out 21 year old for bringing him the wrong kind of beer. Double Fail: The 21 year old brought home Yuengling Lager. The 19 year old wanted "light beer"
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Penn State's "Paternoville" to be renamed "Nittanyville". Can you come up with a better name?
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Shark vs. humans with pointy sticks. Who wins?
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"Since, I am going to die soon, I want to confess that it was a mistake that I got a doctorate from the University of Utah because of a paperwork mistake and I stole a safe 41 years ago as well"
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A former assistant director of The Force, a High School marching band, has been placed on probation after he admitted to having sex with a teenage band member. Story to your left, American Pie and Star Wars references to your right
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NASA scientists hard at work planning A) How to get to and from Mars, B) How to get to and from Jupiter, C) menus?
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Back in 1995, the Fudgsicle Kid had the foresight to take an embarrassing picture before the Internet was a thing. Sorry kid
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World's cutest dog flies plane (includes pic that's just begging to be Photoshopped)
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17 year old teen busted for running a $20k per month pot operation. Mother slinks in, sips a Starbucks, flashes a little skin, and everyone amazingly skates.. until next episode, that is
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22-year old Olympic hottie has one hell of a snatch
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No rain means the worst drought since 1956, higher food prices, and the Blind Melon video with the bee girl running through your head all day
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Want to buy land in Japan? Have $1.50? You're in business
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The latest institution that has gone full Paterno is the California Teachers Association
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How do you follow-up your "Miami Zombie" video prank? With an ass beating and a night in jail, of course
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Just another day in NYC as a bus driver catches: A) the flu B) a fare beater C) a child falling from a 3rd floor window (w/video)
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Photoshop this disturbed child
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Really dude, if you flew all the way from Arizona to Tampa to have sex with wheelchair-bound, 14-year-old girl who bought your ticket with Grandma's credit card, the least you could do is shave
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Scots climbers try to save graffiti on cliff face, as several difficult climb routes take their names from the scrawls. Who wouldn't want to conquer the ""PISS OFF WANKER" or the famed "Wully's a bawbag"?
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The city of Phoenix decides now is a good time to lift its 97-year ban on electric fences. What could go wrong?
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If there is one thing West Virginia needs, it's more crackers
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World War II vet celebrates his 90th birthday with his first ever skydive. Because at 90 - why the hell not
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Remember the freed slave who sent his former master a rather humorous FOAD letter? Well, we finally have a photo to go with the snark
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People begin to have a "holy sh*t" moment as they realize prescription drug abuse is killing more people than the evil drug cartels. We're through the Looking Glass here, people
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Police: "Well we didn't announce ourselves when knocking on the wrong door at 1:30 am for safety reasons, then we shot the guy because he answered the door with a gun in his hand"
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That's right, the women are smarter
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Minutes after being released from jail, two 18 year-olds decide to A) Grab some Jimmy John's; B) Go to the mall and hit on girls; or C) steal two bicycles in full view of a security camera
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| Mon July 16, 2012 |
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Step 1: Shoot an unarmed teen. Step 2: Fail at hiding thousands of dollars from the court. Step 3: Get accused of being a molester. At this rate, he should just order up some bath salts and get started on Step 4
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Delta to institute new fee for passengers who desire the luxury of needle-free food
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Crazy eyes, William H. Macy's brother and a 'pull my finger' cop photographer are all in this week's unpunctual mug shot roundup
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OKC man arrested after going off half-cocked
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Man pulled aside by TSA for frisking in San Francisco... with an unusual "bulging package" in his pants. Since this is Fark, you can probably guess what that "package" was
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Photoshop these traditional tumblers
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Bad: Man allegedly skipped out on a bar tab. Worse: Man impaled on a fence he tried to hop while skipping out on a bar tab
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US Navy fires on "white pleasure craft" in Persian Gulf, killing one person and injuring three others. They should have signaled the safeword
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Mexican bible camp: We don't need security, Jesus will protect us. Jesus: Those dudes have guns, you're on your own
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Photoshop this face from a fortification
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Steve Martin's father wrote a negative review of his son's movie "The Jerk" in his company real estate newsletter. He hated those cans
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It's almost summer fair time. What's your favorite fair food or food on a stick? What new fair food should be invented?
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Researchers link anxiety to accelerated aging, so if you fear death, you probably should
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Chicken vaccines combine to produce new mutant virus. Keep inoculating that chicken guys
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Ever wonder what happened to Dragon Technologies, the company that had "Siri-like" voice recognition software on the market almost a decade ago? The short answer? Goldman-Sachs fatally screwed them over
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Burglar discovers that justice is blinds, man attempting to feed tigers succeeds, and Hurricane Fabio's winds heaving across the swelling bosom of the Pacific: a few of Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 7/8 - 7/14
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Are there any illegal firearms in your luggage? a) "No" b) "No" c) "Just a couple of bombs and a little dynamite, but it's no big deal"
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Donald J. Sobol, Encyclopedia Brown author, dead at 87. Killer last seen running away putting the murder weapon in his left pants pocket with his right hand
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Teacher aide fired for telling students that "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" is a 'racist' novel
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Cross bearing teen finishes month-long trek to DC. In related news, ark building teen overheard grumbling
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Sick bags at the ready as Spain's (Russian-made) Olympics kit is leaked
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7 effective habits of highly dead people
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PICTURES: When end-of-the-world clouds approach, don't run, pull out your smartphone and take pictures
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Cat mayor celebrates 15 years on the job in Alaska town
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The record for the world's narrowest street is in jeopardy because of... yes, fat tourists
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If you're looking for the perfect recipe for possum, CNN has what you've been looking for
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Gut bacteria may be the cause of good health and longevity
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Man driving friend's 2012 BMW X5 turns boat ramp into offramp
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Juan by Juan, more Latinos are placing their elderly relatives into nursing homes
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IOC media policy for athletes and volunteers virtually guarantees a steady stream of pointless status updates with no real content. Yes, Facebook is an official social media partner, why do you ask?
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Criminal asks judge for extra month in prison so he can get out a year earlier. Confused? You won't be after this week's episode of Don't Drop the Soap
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Remember: If you've got stolen cash in your purse and a cop asks if he can search your purse to see if the stolen money is in there, you don't have to let him. Especially if you have marijuana and cocaine in it as well
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Hahaha I can't believe they fell for my story proposal, said the writer
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The Summer Olympics aren't quite here yet, but Libya has already started practicing for the 100-meter kidnapping
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Man arrested for assaulting cousin in Gorman. Subby doesn't know where one's Gorman is located, but it sounds like it hurts
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When you're dressing yourself before a plane trip, remember none of your fellow passengers want to see your butt cleavage
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Happy National Ice Cream Day. With picture of a woman who is a little too excited that it's National Ice Cream Day
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The birthday party costs you $200. Cake, pizza and the Jeep that drives through the front door will cost you extra
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City cancels piranha bounty when things do not go quite as planned
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North Korean military Vice Marshal dismissed from all military and civilian posts due to "illness" which is Russian for acute lead poisoning
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Syria denies that there was any massacre at Treimsa village, says that no civilians have been targeted as of now. Promptly closes news conference and starts bombing the crap out of Damascus
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