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NEW To Fark? Find Out HOW TO FARKX
| Sun April 01, 2012 |
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Not News: Identical twins separated by adoption. Newsy: For 55 years. Fark: They've been living round the corner from each other
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World Fark Party II - Las Vegas Nevada: March 30 - Apr 1
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Not News: Guy hands a kid a five dollar bill and walks away..Police and Media: OMGZ DANGER DANGER
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Photoshop this massive Tibetan mastiff
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And the award for Most Inappropriate Parking Space goes to...School-bus in front of Porn Store, let's have a round of applause
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Wanna know what driving a NYC cab was like back in 1945? Ask Johnnie Footman, he started driving cabs in 1945. Fark: You can talk to him in the back of his cab because he's still driving cabs in NYC
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Apparently, SC state troopers get pretty grumpy and vengeful when you try to protest the traffic tickets they give you
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72 years of confidentiality expires; 1940 census records released, including for 21 million still alive. Top that, Visa and Mastercard, with your relatively small security breaches and data compromises
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Taco Mac shows how to alter a customer's receipt without saying something insulting
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Perhaps it's better she became a nun instead of continuing to teach high school science
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Food carts today may sell more than hot dogs, reports Ric Romero in conjunction with woman eagerly awaiting Olive Garden in town
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In related news, Colorado Springs is in the midst of a burger war
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Photoshop Theme: Latte Art
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43 year old police officer has gun license revoked after state officials unseal juvenile record and learn he committed crime when he was 15
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We're not paying enough attention to Attention Deficit and Hyperact... HEY LOOK, HELICOPTER... COOL
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Not news: Cop turns on emergency lights and siren. Fark: Drivers notice and pull over to the side of the road to let the police car pass safely by
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Mmmmmm, deviled Cadbury creme eggs and 12 other creme egg recipes
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Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish bath?
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The unseasonably warm weather has one small Iowa town fearing its annual Tulip Festival may get canceled because of premature blooming. But they have a solution: spray the plants with whiskey to delay the process
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Ugly ass baby aardvark born at Busch Gardens. Awww, how cu-KILL IT WITH FIRE
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We're gonna need a bigger boat
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Nudists campaigning for beach near the home of Prince William and Kate Middleton to be officially recognized as a nudist beach. However, like most nudists, they are having serious issues with sagging support
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Gary Larson has a $5,000 deductible insurance plan, but has found that his medical bills are cheaper if he claims he's uninsured, pays cash, and his cows are bipedal
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If you are one of the dozens of people who eat chicken apple sausage, you may want to look at the label, as a company is recalling 26,000 pounds of the disgusting product
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New York medical examiners deny losing woman's brain, explaining that it was just mislabeled "Abby" something
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The scientific reason why your wife won't sleep with you
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Tracking for cops is big business for cellphone companies. A menu of "surveillance fees" is marketed to cops that determine a suspect's location, trace phone calls and texts and provide other classified services
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She deprived her of dinner one night after learning that Bea had consumed "nearly 800 calories" of Brie, filet mignon, baguette and chocolate at a French Heritage Day event at school
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"Colombian congress debates new bill that decriminalizes cocaine and marijuana cultivation." Another sign the War on Drugs is succeeding...wait, what?
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55% of employees surveyed say they are more productive when they work at home. 75% of bosses say "bullshiat"
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Iowans can thank the jet stream for their outstanding spring weather; contrails for the mysterious tumors in their lungs
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Antibiotics are making you fat, which explains how Jenny McCarthy can stay so slim even this late into her 30s
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The coolest pictures of 'Sweeps, nomads, quacks and crawlers' from 1870's London you'll see all day
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Photoshop this driftwood on the beach
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For $6,500 a day you can hire Darth Maul's dad to come to your school and bully children
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Caption this entangled man
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Introducing the YouTube Collection on DVD
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Just so you know, if you ever walk into a bar with walls covered in one dollar bills that people have tacked up there over the years, you're not allowed to stuff a bunch of them in your pockets to take home as souvenirs for your friends
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When life imitates the movies: Cop chasing after a suspect yells, "Stop that guy," and a bystander tackles him
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Jesus Christ, you're not going to escape the police by wading across Lake Superior
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There were over 100 million losers in the MegaMillions drawing. This is their story
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Not news: Woman has twins. Fark: One from each womb. (w/pics)
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Kids are cute until age four-and-a-half. Here comes the science, tantrum in the checkout line at Target
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"You can say with reasonable scientific certainty that it's not Zimmerman," say 2 forensic voice experts about who's calling for help in the 911 tape
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| Sat March 31, 2012 |
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Kansas man buying lottery tickets: "I've got a better chance of getting struck by lightning." Mother Nature takes that bet
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CNN: "There is no student loan debt crisis." Next up: What's this stupid theory about the sky being blue everyone keeps going on about?
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After decades of snobs dismissing them as too plebeian, more and more wine aficionados are saying screw you to corks
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This is what makes Florida so fun: For only $30 you buy the answers to the written exam you have to pass to get your driver's license. And they're being sold right in front of the driver's license office
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First they came for the Trekkies, and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a Trekkie
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You might be lucky if: you fall off your bike in cardiac arrest and three doctors including a cardiologist are riding behind you
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For those of us that can't be in Las Vegas, we can have our own party with this week's Mugshot Roundup. And it's a good one
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Man buried in bogus parking tickets by estranged wife's cop friends will be allowed to sue police officers and city
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What celebrity do you have a crush on not only because they're attractive, but also because they seem to have a decent personality?
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Lottery "Expert" Richard Lustig: "don't ever buy Quick Picks". Mega-Millions official: Two of the 3 jackpot winners were Quick Picks
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| (Some Guy) |
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Prison's 'Nutraloaf' may violate 8th Amendment, inmate's colon
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| (Corbin News Journal) |
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Couple busted for burglarizing a vacant home claim they were "looking for a pregnant horse" and "peat moss in order to decorate for a wedding"
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Proof that the universe hates you: Survive going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, but die due to injuries sustained by slipping on an orange peel
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Smoking hot 31-year-old English teacher arrested for giving anxiety pills to student, presumably to have sex with them (w/mugshot)
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Where are you on the global pay scale? Hopefully you're a lil north of Tajikistan
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Google Mapquest
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Texas raises speed limit near Austin to 80... but only if you pay $6.40 toll
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Prosthetic limbs have come a long way, now you can have one with an axe and heater built into it
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Because when you see a baseball game, you definitely want your stadium food to include Cuban dishes like shrimp burgers and spicy lobster rolls instead of hot dogs and nachos
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G-spot high school produces a sexually deviant 16yr old
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| (Some pixel pusher) |
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Photoshop this fellow in his spring finery
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The best proof that there is a God -- the NYC pizza price war
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If you're going to rob a convenience store, you might want to make sure one of the customers isn't a veteran trained in MMA; otherwise you'll have your ass handed to you
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fark soon to be illegal in Arizona
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Ladies and gentlemen, it's official. The drunker you are, the prettier you become - to yourself. This would explain why most Farkers "feel sexier, smarter and funnier, even when others privately think you are a turkey"
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So, do you take your drink shaken like a proper gentleman, or stirred, like a prissy little girl?
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Ugly-ass tragic polar bear's cuter sister born in Germany (w/ ridiculously adorable pics)
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Fun Fact for Losers: The mega trash generated by 640 million shredded losing lottery tickets would provide sufficient confetti for a grand parade stretching from here to the moon and back
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6 times the Onion had everyone fooled
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Competitors are desperately trying to keep up with Costa Cruises' unique "drifting without power" on-board experience. 1,000 people currently sweating just off the Philippines
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The best root beers. Dr. Brown demands a do-over
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Interpol chief Ric Romero warns that a group of hackers "might" target the Internet today
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Settling down and marrying the mail-order Vietnamese bride of your dreams is about to get a lot harder
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Sheriff Joe Arpaio makes the executive decision to allow actor Steven Seagal to patrol on deadly ground looking for drug smugglers who have put the Arizona desert under seige
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Tired of noise from the neighborhood children? A couple of warning shots over their head should do the trick
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Cool: Hollywood is auctioning off a costumer worn by Christopher Reeve in a Superman movie. Sad: It was "Superman IV"
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Photoshop Theme: How to make newspapers more profitable
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Lick... no, pump... punk... PUB. Lick laws. Public. Intosh, intop, intof... drunk laws. They're too fuc... whoops. Fum (hee hee) fuzzy. Crickets say. What? Critics. CRITICS. That's what they say
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If you've ever had to call up Poison Control because your little one has ingested glow sticks, hand sanitisers, toilet cleaning discs or silica gel sachets, don't worry. It's perfectly normal
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Questions you don't want to ask or have answered: "Could Obesity Be Cured by Injecting Our Guts With Fecal Bacteria From Ancient Mummies?"
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The CBC tries to comfort you in the fact the while gas prices are rising, printer ink is still $1750 a liter
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| (busselton mail.com) |
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Against all odds, Squid the cat turns 97 (cat) years old. This article seemed appropriate as we celebrate another birthday this weekend - Caturday's one and only Alien
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Is it really OK to recline 0.015 inches in your airline seat?
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Someone in Maryland will soon realize that they are the most popular person on the entire planet, and if they were smart, we'd never ever hear of them again for the rest of their natural life
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Alabama nightclub hosts "Food Stamps Friday" event, with special entrance fee for those with a valid food stamp card. Bonus: free shots at the door
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How to deal with your child's iPad tantrums. Or, alternatively, you could... hmmmm... I don't know... NOT GIVE YOUR 5 YEAR OLD AN iPAD
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Five reasons you didn't really want to win all that lottery money
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The oldest man in the United States, Shelby Harris, celebrates his 111th birthday today. Hopefully the nursing home doesn't throw him a surprise party
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On tonight's episode of COP MATH: marijuana is now $3000 a pound
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| Fri March 30, 2012 |
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Wondering what to get your racist uncle for Christmas? How about the chance to be buried in the Hitler family plot?
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Here's a bunch of things you have better odds of happening to you than winning the Mega Millions tonight (w/pics)
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Today on Weird Internets: Some twit is making it his mission to get to know every Kevin on Twitter
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71-year-old woman arrested for standing her ground, shooting at three intruders in her house who shot back, wounding her. Who cares if intruders were deputy sheriffs on a welfare check? It was self-defense
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Photoshop this bike bail
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And the Oddest Book Title of the Year Is ...Other contenders included books about chicken sexing, office chairs
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Listen, your son died on a secret space station at the hands of a 7 foot tall assassin with metal teeth trying to save the world from a mad scientist's evil plot. What's so hard to understand about that?
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Opera singer shot multiple times with no explanation. Sometimes it's just the wrong aria at the wrong time
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| (Some Highway) |
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Photoshop this architecture in Antwerp
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You know what they always say: The family that grows 'shrooms together, camel spiders, festoonies... taste the pendulum
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♫ He picks up a missile and he shots it right down and it blows up the buildings in the center of town. Oh no, there goes Tokyo, go go Gamera. ♫
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There is no shame in moving back in with your parents, writes person who moved back in with her parents and is ashamed about it
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3 former Marines work with craft brewer to create special tribute brew for Marines killed in chopper crash. Proceeds will help build scholarship fund for the families of the deceased. Brew is named 'Homage'
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Michelle Duggar, who has given birth to 19 children, says that overpopulation is a lie because the entire population of the world would fit in Jacksonville, Florida. Wait, what?
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Not news: TV stations now picking "Facebook Friend of the Day." Fark: Tampa station picks a furry. Costume and all
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| (Some Guy) |
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You're late to class and the teacher calls you out on it. Do you: a) apologize and take your seat, b) accept a detention and be quiet, or c) strangle your teacher with his own necktie and flee?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Absolutely genuine and real way to pay roughly $2.50 a gallon for fuel. But, wait There's more. A slight catch actually
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In 1973 Drake High School burned 32 copies of Slaughterhouse-Five in its furnace. Here is the letter Kurt Vonnegut wrote to their school board
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$640,000,000.00
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Michigan plans to dramatically increase the number of organ donors statewide
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No wonder Bigfoot has never been fully proven. You have to fill out the proper permits in triplicate to hunt him
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Hey, all you Vegas Farkers. Once you shake off the hangovers, here's an article listing some cool things to do. Test drive a Lambo, fire a grenade launcher, bulldoze things. Even some tree hugging and artsy crap for you libbies
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Dude, it's like Woodstock all over again. Except, in France. And with, like, UFOs and sh*t. And it doesn't end until Doomsday 2012. Which has already started. Far out, man
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News article about a pole dancer (w/ pics). Too bad you didn't read the rest of the headline, because it's about a 53 year old guy
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This is why children on airplanes should either be safely secured in a pet carrier, or the overhead luggage compartment
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The job outlook for recent college graduates is looking good. Assuming you want to work at Wal-Mart, McDonald's, and Starbucks
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Mother distraught over son being fat, lazy, uneducated ... and completely happy. Apparently, it IS a good way to go through life
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Sometimes the headlines just write themselves: "Pop-and-son pillbilly snowbirds driving stolen methmobile"
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This just in: half of all American households now officially fall into the "elitist latte-drinking hipster snob" category
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Just like clockwork, the mass media suddenly realizes the odds on winning a lottery are really, really thin. This is a repeat from every time the jackpot has crossed $100 million
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Judge rules that Catholic schoolgirls who posted bikini pics WILL be allowed to attend their graduation ceremony, calls school officials out for being a**holes
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Teens filling up the lanes at local archery range after watching Hunger Games movie. Top that, sparkly vampires
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| (Some Guy) |
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6/2(1+2) = 9 no no, 6/2(1+2) = 1 no no, 6/2(1+2) = 2
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| (Some MajorGeek) |
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Visa and MasterCard are warning of what they call a "massive breach" that could involve as many as 10 million compromised credit card numbers
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NYPD warn people not to sleep in the subway, not to stand in the pouring rain, that the night is long
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First you get the money, then you get the power, then you can get the lifesize bust of the Godfather, at least for awhile
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Photoshop this milk merger
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Hy-Vee to allow consumers to choose from pink slime beef and non pink slime beef
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Taliban are dressing up as women to infiltrate US military bases, which is the perfect plan, because there is nothing unusual about Afghans with mustaches wearing dresses
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Leaked memo shows CT State Troopers plan 'ticket blitz' to outdo neighboring trooper barracks. "350 tickets would be stellar" ... Yup, those tickets are for safety alright
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Won in Fyve Britts cant reed ore right. The Son is their
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Zoo adds extra phone lines to deal with April Fools' Day phone calls (w/direct number to Mr. Lyon)
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So you look out your window and see someone you don't know camping in your yard. And then it gets weird
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Stop me if you've heard this one before: A eagle a fox and a cat all walk onto a porch together
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People who harass the family of an abortion doctor's landlord learn that payback is a biatch
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The Dalai Lama wins the Templeton Prize, so he's got that going for him
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You think your son's new roommate might be gay. Do you: a) accept it, b) ask your son if this a roommate or a "roommate," or c) attack him with a cane?
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| Thu March 29, 2012 |
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New Canadian budget to leave Canadians penniless
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Mexico gets its own clothing sizes to better suit their gorditas
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Sloth drops in on tourist photo. The Sun is there
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Utah has nation's highest autism rate. Their parents probably did too much LDS when they were young
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Meet the drunken Canadian man who is responsible for the greatest a capella version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" ever recorded in the back of a police cruiser
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Ever the funny prince, the Duke of Edinburgh asks disabled man in wheelchair: 'ever run anyone over?'
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For 12,000 dollars, a Houston restaurant is offering a 10 course meal based on what Titanic passengers ate during the maiden voyage. Ice and Saltwater will be served after dessert
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Dominatrix sells extra bondage sessions to help out a cancer-stricken pal. Now that's HOT. Ouch
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| (Some Sedimentarian) |
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Photoshop this orange and teal masterpiece
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Mental Floss uses real FARK stories in their own "FARK or Three's Company?" quiz
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Woman sues McDonalds for a) burning her with hot coffee; b) serving her a mouse in her burger; or c) turning her into a hooker
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Canada is the preferred destination for American sex tourists, according to survey of 101 johns from Boston
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No longer News: Teacher has sex with student. Sometimes News: Teacher is hot. Go directly to FARK: Teacher is a Cincinnati Bengals Cheerleader...and she's doing you, kid. +1
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Things not to try and bring past TSA (a) 5 oz of liquid, (b) scissors, (c) a vial with a fuse, a plastic bottle filled with explosive powder and three M-80 type fireworks
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| (More Intelligent Life) |
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Most interesting article about restaurant names you'll read all day. Subby's favorites are Aunt Chilada's, Thaitanic, Vin sur Vin, Untitled, Frying Nemo, and Dinner (where you can get lunch)
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Researchers at the DHS finally perfect your Mom's new line of tampons
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Woman loses half of her body weight by joining friends climbing ladders and running...in front of airplanes
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Camden man axed to death in his home. Which begs the question, how many questions can cause a death?
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Man reportedly on uppers, downers, and pot arrested. He was agitated, sleepy, and hungry
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Man wakes up to find front lawn stolen
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Miniature Hippo? We has it
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Beer-drinking dog awarded a hero medal
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| (Dexter-Leader) |
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Comcast charges customers in an entire town a "vacation fee" for not responding to emails, letters, or phone calls. Difficulty: they didn't respond because their town was ravaged by a tornado
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Foot-and-mouth disease hits Egypt, though many remain in de Nile
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Photoshop these Pakistani orphans
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Horse-drawn buggy rear ends a school bus. When will this rein of terror end?
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13 year old boy who killed his mom also sexually assaulted her. For an encore, he will gouge his own eyes out
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Research shows boozing after a heart attack could help you live longer. Subby is ahead of the curve on this one
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The Adele Files: A global sex survey has revealed that the British are world leaders when it comes to lovemaking in the dark
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The hidden dangers of messy desks. Yes, your coworkers are judging your competence and effectiveness if your desk looks like a giant pile of papers and coffee cups
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Basically, don't stand too long in one place in Philadelphia or you're going to get shot
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In Merrillville, Indiana, one city councilman is set to take on the town's horrible crack problem
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A hoopy frood may really know where his towel is, but a loopy dude brings a towel bar, an ice bucket, a trash can, an air conditioner cover, comforters, pillows and sheets
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Special needs adults taken to hospital after multi-vehicle accident. They were tardy due to traffic, chromosomes
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All units, be on the lookout for a woman with a very surprised look on her face
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Downtown, where the cabs don't stop. Downtown, where the food is slop. Downtown, where the hop-heads flop in the snow. Down on Skid Row
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| (wtol) |
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Man missed a turn, hit the curb, went airborne, hit the front porch of a house, landed on a car, and came to rest inside a neighboring building. Then it gets interesting
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"You found someone you like enough to marry? Who also wants to marry you? And now you want some farking towels as a bonus prize, are you kidding me?"
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New kind of pseudoephedrine can be used to make shake-and-bake black sludge. Now we'll have an epidemic of angry addicts who can't make meth
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Autism rates up 78% over the past decade, most likely due to children receiving their vaccinations
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Female crash test dummies get injured more often, can't parallel park
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Girls strip(you've already clicked) for morning stroll in London. (Safe for Work)
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Once-illiterate lobsterman no longer lost at C
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Georgia Aquarium hatches two new ugly-ass baby penguins
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In his defense, the HR meetings never said he shouldn't look up female coworker's photos in the employee database and then pee on the chairs of those he found attractive
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Your wife's dog craps on the floor, do you: A) Shoot the dog B) Shoot the other dog C) Shoot the wife D) All of the above
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Mississippi is now the most religious state in U.S. after recent poll finds most people pray every day just to get out of Biloxi
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It's finally happened. Police in Florida have given up and decided to start enforcing the law in bunny costumes
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Bored of burning money, cars & servants, this year, tomb sweepers will be mostly burning iPads. Because the dead like their tablets
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Catholic school prevents girl from joining her class graduation after she burned down the entire school while doing meth and having sex with two teachers. Just kidding, it's because she posted pics of herself in a bikini on Facebook
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Utah makes it illegal to cross train tracks while talking or texting on your iPhone, listening to your iPod, reading your iPad, or applying your iLiner
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To the people of San Francisco: Subway's $5 Footlong, not yours. Apparently your new minimum wage makes the cost of doing business impossible
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Yeah your day would be much better if it included trying out this new wooden roller coaster
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"I'm not dead - I think I'll go for a walk" - old lady finds out she's legally dead
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RoboBonobo: giving apes control of their own robot. This will end well
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What's more outrageous: Cops arresting a 10-year-old boy or a tricycle worth $400?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Making music with radiation
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Caption this distraught commuter
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this hovering hydrofoil
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Spike Lee presents: Mea Culpa
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Smoking hot 25-year-old Baptist school teacher arrested for sex with student, prays she gets probation (w/mugshot)
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The creepiest real-life Barbie that you will see today (w/creepy-ass pics)
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Jewish High School for girls tells students to delete their Facebook accounts or be expelled because the site is against moral code
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This story has it all. Middle school teacher, her young young female student, cleavage, and a ruler. And yes, Florida
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What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs? Rolls over your neighbor Bob? What's great for a snack, and fits on your back? It's LOG LOG LOG
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Friends will help you move. Real friends will help you move by hauling all your possessions across town using only bicycles
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Memos from the National Organization for Marriage regarding how they plan to repeal gay marriage are leaked. NOM, NOM, NOM
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Bad: Brawl erupts at party after beer runs out. Worse: Four people shot, two stabbed, two beaten, one dead. FARK: This was a kid's birthday party
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 360: "Farktography Recipe Book". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed March 28, 2012 |
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Here you go nurse, keep the tip
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| (Some Guy) |
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Illinois Senate to students: "Spit, don't swallow"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Facebook's most lurid confessions by its dumbest people
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Fruit on the bottom. Oxycontin on top
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Rock guitarist applies for trademark to fill niche for "Justice For Trayvon" hoodies. With Jimi-Hendrix-wannabe album cover pic of the entrepreneur
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The Mega Millions jackpot has reached a record $500 million as of 12pm today and with two days to go before Friday nights drawing, things are bound to go full crazy
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Occupy DC, gladiators, internet memes, and hipsters are much more awesome when made out of Peeps (slideshow, but worth it)
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From the I never saw THAT coming department. A wild bear saves a man from a mountain lion attack
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Atheist orders custom Capitol One card with a red "A" on it. It's rejected, since they don't allow "religious imagery." Except, of course, for any of the pre-approved Jesus images available in their online gallery
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George Zimmerman on video after the shooting. Funny, those massive head injuries seem to have healed fast, and where's all the blood that should have stained his shirt from shooting someone who was on top of him?
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There is lazy, there is really lazy, then there is this guy
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Your Twitter stream can now be converted into toilet paper, creating a dangerous Internet Meme Recursion Loop
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Some thug named Tyson has been beating the crap out of boat users on a two-mile stretch of the UK's longest canal. Yeah, he's just a swan with a whopping 8ft wingspan, but still
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Are Facebook friends really "friends" if they see posted photographs of your suicide attempt and don't call for help?
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Dad of the year contender realises taking his two-year-old skydiving might be a bad idea
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this compassionate mother
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Daughters Disguised: The Afghan girls who are dressed and raised as boys
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JetBlue pilot faces the always onerous "lunacy on board" airline surcharge
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Man wearing sombrero and boxing glove attacks police car. With mugshot goodness
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PSA: If you are sleepy and decide to take a nap then you should know that a narrow concrete ledge five floors up is not the best place to do so
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There are many ways a mother can build attachments with her son. Forcing him to eat screws is not one
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Trailer loaded with coins collides with trailer full of candy. Quite possibly the best crash of all time
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The mainstream press is really doing a number on this Trayvon Martin thing, but I'll bet that the bastions of journalistic integrity at big state school newspapers are... oh my
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Ohio Senate bill would ban landline telephones, ending home burglar alarm services, dependable emergency communications. Of course, wireless companies are all for it
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Supreme Court rules that the Federal government can tell the world about your HIV status if it wants to
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Lawyers, police, reporters who don't read Fark are shocked by driver's .384 BAC reading
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Photoshop this excited dancer
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Lorax statue lifted and taken away from home of Dr. Seuss's widow. Anyone with knowledge of the perpetrators' identities is encouraged to contact San Diego police; confidentiality is guaranteed if you use Whisper-ma-Phone
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Former abortion doctor caught disposing of remains of his practice in recycling bins
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| (Some Guy) |
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Guy comes out of the closet after 8 years, on Facebook. Friends are horrified, HORRIFIED, at the web design of his linked blog post, begin in-depth discussion on how to make it look better
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The rare question headline where the answer is not merely "yes", but "Oh HELL yes"
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Baltimore to raise cash by selling its historical landmarks. Now accepting offers for Shot Tower, War Memorial Building, Brooks Robinson's glove
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The Pill was responsible for a third of all the wage increases earned by sluts during the 1990s
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63 year old woman stands her ground against her estranged husband. No word on whether he was wearing a hoodie
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ʞɹoʍʇǝu b4 uɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ ǝsn ʇ,uɐɔ ʇı ǝsnɐɔǝq 3 pɐdı uo spunɟǝɹ sɹǝɟɟo ǝןddɐ
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Woman plants herb garden containing parsley, rosemary, ex-husband, basil, lavender...wait, what?
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The year was 1938. A loaf of bread was 9 cents. You could rent a house for $27 a month. And for $130, you could buy the rights to a multibillion-dollar comic book character
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Man undergoes full facial transplant. Nicholas Cage, John Travolta reportedly unimpressed. (pics)
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You find car keys on the floor of a nightclub. Do you: A) Give them to the staff B) Ask around if anybody lost their car keys C) Get into the car and drive off. Extra Credit: C & D) Drive to a nearby strip club
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Six of the top twenty best-performing cities are located in one state, including the top city. Wave your rainbow colored bandana and rejoice
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Holy Wall walking. All the Batman window cameos in one compilation
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You know how Spike Lee retweeted George Zimmerman's home address to his 250,000 followers? Well, the unrelated elderly couple that lives there and has been forced to move due to death threats would like to have a few words
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Man arrested for suddenly dropping his pants and filming the reactions of the people around him. FOX reportedly trying to secure the rights for their next reality TV show
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Man scrawls a huge painted death threat across garage door. "According to the Police Department, he is not breaking the law. The city is not allowed to regulate what people paint on their homes"
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Semi-hot teacher who had sex with teenage boy 300 times gets 29 months in prison for destroying his life
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Et une triumph terrible en Russe avec mes Water Slides
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Photoshop this clay creation
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This slideshow of the ten sexiest bedrooms is so good it'll make you wanna puke
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Christ misses court hearing, expected to show up in three days
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Think Jesus rose from the dead? Or was it an illusion
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Food bank in Indiana using federal funds asks for just a teensy prayer before you get your groceries
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Crucifix on your condo door? No problem. A mezuzah? That'll be $50 per day, thank you very much
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Michigan boy gets pet pig taken away due to city law, news cameras are there to capture his tears and one of the greatest child mullets ever seen
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Caption this produce player
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Not news: Woman gets revenge on school bullies. Fark: By becoming a smoking hot Victoria's Secret model (probably not safe for work)
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Woman calls 911, reporting she's "lost in the woods" and doesn't know where to pee. Or, as they call it in Florida, high on meth in her front yard with a gun and a cooler of beer
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God really wants this woman dead
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| Tue March 27, 2012 |
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If you're high on hallucinogens and invisible shadow men start to annoy you, don't use a lighter and a spray can to defend yourself
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Those mock drunk driving accidents staged at high schools during prom season are powerful in their own right. Adding real human blood isn't necessary
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In-flight entertainment: Our captain forgot to take his meds and will be running up and down the aisles raving about "bombs" and "al-Qaida", ensure your seats are in the up-right position and your trays are folded away
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The coolest slideshow you will see today of 'British Design' from 1948-2012
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You may remember the severed leg that randomly washed up behind a Florida home back in December. Well, if you guessed that it was from a missing menopausal lesbian involved in a love triangle, well then you win
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What the fark is this? Obviously, you're not a golfer
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Photoshop this wheeled walker
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Dick Cheney's heart plant surgery, Bob Uecker's statue juuust a bit outside of Miller Park, and a special report from Trevor McSmokingballs: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/18 - 3/24
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| (Some Guy) |
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New book coming out by Zack Parsons, author of "My Tank Is Fight!" This one is called Liminal States, and comes with its own music video
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Drivers are starting to pull over before using their cell phones. Naturally, some people have a problem with this
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| (Some Blog) |
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School bans high school student from wearing a kilt to prom stating that men should dress like men. You know, unlike that sissy Sean Connery
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Picture gallery of ugly ass lion cubs that were born on Valentines Day at the St. Louis Zoo
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Photoshop this laid back guy
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Friend of Zimmerman defends his use of the slur "coon asses" stating that the phrase is used proudly in parts of the country by people to describe themselves
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Study shows that 20% of pharmacies tested lied to researchers posing as 17-year old girls about the availability of "the morning after pill"; falsely claiming either they didn't stock it, or that it was illegal for them to buy it
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Good news: Syria has accepted the UN peace plan, except for the ceasefire part
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Maker of pink slime shutting down plants. When asked about green slime, the company replied "I don't know"
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Apparently FEMA made a study to see if Fallout could happen. "If you are thinking about (a city) being wiped off the face of the earth, that's not what happens"
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Good news Potter fans Pottermore is now selling E-Book versions of the books you already own 2 print versions of and have already digitally pirated because they wouldn't take your money for them 2 years ago Also, Snape kills dumbledore
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New law prohibits Pennsylvania doctors from telling patients what in fracking fluid is causing their cancer
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It's possible to molest a freeway. Who knew?
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Come to the Ghent Court of Justice - see the newest modern architecture, the judges heading into chambers, the nude models. Wait, what?
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Farmwald couldn't confirm if alcohol was involved
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UK absolutely says it didn't send a nuclear-armed submarine to the Falkland Islands amid rising tensions with Argentina, they just refuse to confirm or deny the deployment of it
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"Hello, 911? Yes, this is dog." - Basset hound saves own life by ringing emergency services
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Point-counterpoint: The Monte Cristo sandwich is an absurd joke that no one gets
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US intelligence analysts being shifted away from al Qaeda to Iran. This might just be a repeat of 2002
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Real-life Hamburgler steals $20 worth of McDonald's food as it is handed to a customer. Cops unclear how anyone spends $20 at McDonald's but estimate the street value at $0.47
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The artist who created the 'Hope and Change' poster just got his mugshot on The Smoking Gun. So that means Jon McNaughton and Thomas Kinkade get to repaint the Sistine Chapel
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Insects discovered in Starbucks Strawberry Frappuccino. Starbucks says it's not a bug, it's a feature. Which is a bug
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Two million "protesters" set to march on Jerusalem on Friday. The last time the protesters tried to March on Jerusalem was in 1967 and it lasted six whole days
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Brandon Lee steals Microsoft co-founder's identity. Then it gets weird
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Blood-alcohol level of .552, your move Vegas Farkers
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Live blog as SCOTUS examines constitutionality of individual mandate
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Submitter took a few suggestions from the Fark community and replaced words on her husband's iPhone. LGT photo album of results
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Protip: Before you put a bobcat into your car, make sure you have a plan to get it out. Big brass ones award goes to the guy who drew the short straw and used a taser
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How the Daily Mail Online conquered Britain, the Internet and Fark with fluff, fear, celebrity gossip and monkeys
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Cadbury Cream Eggs are vile. That is all
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All kinds of tumors disappeared or shrank when treated with new anti-antibody. Still no cure ... wait, what?
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Signing up for a Mexican gang hit squad doesn't exactly increase your life expectancy. Neither does signing up for the DEA's fake Mexican gang hit squad
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Commemorative mugs urge Kate Middleton to "produce children" with Prince Harry
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If every single toilet in America was flushed at the same time, pipes would burst, rivers would fill up with sewage, and town water reserves would evaporate. At least in theory
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| (Some Escher) |
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Photoshop a surreal compliment. LGT random surreal compliment generator
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While the TSA feels up your grandmother at the checkpoint, it's okay for baggage handlers to steal stuff from your checked bag
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Obvious: People try to make money of Trayvon Martin's death. Sick: One of the people is his own mother
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Derick A. Thoene, 28, walked into Iowa City hall at 11:37 a.m. Thoene allegedly approached the lobby receptionist and said, 'I have your parking attendant in the trunk of my car, do you want him dead or alive?'
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Drink named "Albino Rhino" has a woman with albinism seeing red
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Man arrested for repeatedly flashing people walking around a park and eating a bag of marijuana. Thank god he wasn't wearing a hoodie
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Eating chocolate regularly may make you thinner. No, wait, regularly doesn't mean once a minute. Seriously, I don't have any chocola- OW MY FINGER
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If you want to celebrate getting a new job, particularly in this economy, that's cool. The Harrisburg Police, however, tend to frown on celebrations that involve firing guns wildly into the air
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Father of two shows what Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law was really meant for
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Fox News scrubs all traces of hoodies from its online store. Hoodies are the new boogieman
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1930's vision of the 'House of the Future' was a huge ball with windows that could be towed around by a tractor. ♫Like a rolling home ♫
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Men have to prove they're gay to avoid the Turkish army. Suggestion 1: Enlist in the Greek army
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If you're tracked down and busted by an 8 year old boy using a tracking app, maybe... just maybe, burglary isn't for you
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Mother of the Year candidate admits to downing 12 'small' cans of lager a day while expecting her sixth child, states "I'm too fat to work" (w/pics)
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| Mon March 26, 2012 |
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Ontario's Court of Appeal rules that it is unconstitutional for Canada to criminalize pimping and brothels, so long as their services are provided in both English and French
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Restaurant worker fights off burglar with a sword and a beer bottle. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Old and busted: stealing painting from art museum. New hotness: smuggling painting into art museum
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Recent poll says going to church makes you happy ... unless, perhaps, you happen to be an altar boy
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Gang of Blondes: "Six really pretty blondes who wreak havoc around the city by robbing and assuming the identity of fellow beautiful blondes." With helpful pic of what a gang of blondes might look like
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Trayvon Martin was suspended from school for possessing traces of marijuana in an empty plastic bag found in his backpack. Which means he totally had it coming, right?
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Why it's ok to stare at women
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Photoshop this person in a paddy field in Pobitora
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Dominique Strauss-Kahn charged with "aggravated pimping." French prosecutors also consider charges of being "straight-up dope, yo"
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8 things that stink about spring breakers in Cancun (with pic of what apparently sucks)
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Photoshop this well work
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Chinese couple refuses to move when skyscrapers built around house. In related news, Disney plans to sue them for copyright infringement
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Try to bring fruit or sausage through JFK Airport from overseas, and Izzy the beagle will bust you adorably
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Like a guy pleading with his loan-shark's goons for more time, Obama's conversation with Medvedev gets caught by a hot mic
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Wife of the soldier who killed 17 Afghani civilians says the accusations are "unbelievable." But witnesses, forensics, and common sense make it really believable
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Instead of shooting the pit bull during standoff, police went against current policy and gave it treatment for tear gas exposure
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Woman charged with road rage on grounds she threw coffee into open window of another car
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Popular "Junk" food contains more antioxidants than fruit, vegetables. Grab some popcorn, it's gonna be a knock-em-down, drag-em out fight
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NYC schools ban the use of terms like "dinosaurs," "dancing" (except for ballet), "birthday," and "Halloween" on tests because of the "unpleasant emotions" they might raise in students
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Ever get a sinking feeling that Venice could be called something else besides "Queen of the Adriatic," the "City of Water," "City of Bridges," "The Floating City," or the "City of Canals"?
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Naked drunk driver rolls 4WD, loses saving throw against police
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| (Some Bee) |
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Sat. April 7th NJ Fark Party for Sir Cumference the Flatulent. Update: We're still hitting up Iplay America for some laser tag, but food & drink venue has changed DIT
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I don't know what the hell is going on, but here is a UFO camouflaged with a pink lampshade
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