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Sun January 08, 2012
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
It's the 5th annual No Pants Day on Toronto's subway system. Just like New York every day. With bonus quizzical dog pic
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
French say there's absolutely no reason to worry about huge Airbus A380 planes having cracks in their wings, after only a few years of service. DE PANIQUE TOUT LE MONDE
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
If you need some ideas for your bucket list, how about crossdressing and chaining yourself to a Walgreens while wearing a ballgag? Three different times?
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
We never say, "Your iPhone is stolen", and we never say, "This iPhone was reported stolen", we say, "Welcome to AT&TMobile"
source: articles.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Speeding tickets increase after DOT puts bags over speed limit signs
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
25-year-old woman is trapped in the body of a 12-year-old (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boulder Daily Camera)
 
 
 
Liquor license granted to retirement home. Sorry kids, you can't visit grandma today. She's still sleeping off all those gin rickeys from bingo night
source: dailycamera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. Could someone please bring some oxygen bottles to the cockpit?"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Golden Eagle
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Australian woman manages "miracle escape" after cord snap during bungee jump over crocodile-infested waters. In other news, some people are stupid enough to bungee jump over crocodile-infested waters
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Couple renew their marriage vows after husband becomes a woman and wife becomes a - oh .. my .. god
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5 Kansas City)
 
 
 
Nicest white ass in Missouri welcomes visitors at its gate, has a website, and even its own calendar
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In the United States, there are more raped women than smokers of both genders. In other news, there has been a significant increase of apple tree growth, but the shortage of oranges continues
source: significancemagazine.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
22,000 chicks killed in fire. Beavis and Butt-head inconsolable
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Microsoft receives approval for patent on "avoid ghetto" feature for use with GPS
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Make this old Victoria a little bit creepier
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
President of Navajo code talkers dies. His final words were great, but nobody knows what they meant
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Health official complains about a school program that gives free breakfasts to poor students because she says it makes them obese. Because nothing slims a kid down like starvation
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
For 2012, New York City resolves to attract over 50 million tourists to exploit, complain about and look down upon
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Japanese defense minister on the chopping block for confusing "rape" with "sexual orgy," though to be fair, he is Japanese
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Parents are breaking the age rule to sign their kids up to Facebook. What could possibly go wrong?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Insane medical prediction of the day: raising the speed limit makes you fat
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"My life as a live nude girl." Disappointingly safe for work
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
National Geographic 2011 photography contest winners
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Southern rednecks rejoice as new law allows them to skin and eat roadkill. Wait... the law is from Illinois? Whoops, sorry about the stereotyping there, Jethro
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discovery)
 
 
 
Really smart man turns 70 today. Happy Birthday Stephen Hawking
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Student gets four days of in-school suspension for reporting that he accidentally brought a knife to school
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Bill would allow Massachusetts restaurants to donate leftover food to hungry without being sued
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
What you could buy for one penny in 1793 now costs $1 million. That's some serious inflation
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Photoshop these colossal engineering marvels
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Two Australians a day are arrested while travelling abroad. If only there was some godforsaken continent they could be transported to
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Hey, Chik-fil-A. Imma let you finish, but Papa John's has the best Asian slur on a customer receipt of all time. OF ALL TIME
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Symantec hacked, source code stolen, sleep tight everyone
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
"Ecnalubma"??
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Five severed heads found in northern Mexican city, officials say they have no body to connect to the crime
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Rescue group to save town's out-of-control feral bunny population, just in time for a happy Bunday
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Australia's fondness of vegemite finally explained
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Amazing black and white New York subway photos from the 1960s show how some things never change. Wait, where's the graffiti?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat January 07, 2012
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
North Korean propaganda says that Kim Jong-Un learned to drive at age 3, could drive 75mph at age 8, and successfully defeated anorexia
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
♫ Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce, special orders don't upset us, all we ask is that you let us pocket your change if you're mentally handicapped.... ♪
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anders Roenhaagen)
 
 
 
Photoshop these red hot tulips
source: picture-photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Condition of victim of John Wayne Gacy, murdered 35 years ago, recently upgraded to 'alive'
source: news.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Happy 600th birthday to Joan of Arc. Here are seven things you didn't know about her
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Los Angeles Magazine)
 
 
 
Trying to find a parking space is driving people insane. Pulling in to a parallel space front first is stealing. It's how you park when you're pulling a bank job
source: lamag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
50 (not particularly useful) things we know now that we didn't know last year
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you're going to try and mug an 84 year-old ex-boxer, you'd better bring more than a commando knife, youngster
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Yoga can fix spinal injuries, strokes, compressed nerves, ruptured tendons, cerebral damage, torn rotator cuffs, and degenerative hips. Wait, did I say "fix"? I meant "cause"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Lesbian announces her intention to run for Miss California, which, of course, some people are upset about. Who cares? She's hot
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Parent upset by questions on her child's math test which included "If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in 1 week?"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop Challenge: Photoshop your own product for Fark Shop
source: shop.fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
63 years ago, a broke student was handed an envelope with $200 in to finish school, and was told to pay it forward once he was able to. Now, he's giving back $1000000
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mediaite)
 
 
 
Actual headline: RuPaul Is 'Campaigning' In New Hampshire To Spread Awareness That He Is Not Ron Paul. "Any time a man leaves the house in a wig and a pair of cha cha heels, he's making a political statement." RUPAUL
source: mediaite.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Fidel Castro begins writing column to prove he is alive. Submitter is Richard Nixon and I approve of this message
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Six teenagers attempt new record for biggest domino spiral, longest-lasting virginity
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN investigates whether God plays in active role in helping you hook up online
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tired of social boors yammering on their cellphones during lunch? Introduce them to the Phone Stack, and enjoy your free meal
source: getkempt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
FAA grounds ten young whooping cranes and the bird-like plane they think is their mother teaching them to migrate because the pilot is being paid. No, really
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Six terrifying modern-day ghost towns
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In the wake of the US saving their sailors from pirates, Iran ups the rhetoric and threatens full-scale war, nuclear devastation, and....wait, they said thankyou? And Fox reported it? What is this i don't even
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Recording the health department inspector while he checks your restaurant? You bet your ass that's a mandatory closing
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
New book explains why men will never be monogamous. Yes ladies, your man too
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
5 people, 1 guitar, tons of talent
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
How would you feel if you turned 175 and nobody cared?
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
The Atheist of the Year award is now called "The Hitchens Award". In other news, there is an "Atheist of the Year" award
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
India gets its first supercar. But do they have a Supertrain? Or a Manimal?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Former speed drinking world record holder Bob Hawke demonstrates how to win friends and influence people in Australia
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hey tree huggers, isn't it time to become tree munchers? Bon appetitpineneedles
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Greenacres woman accused of having sex with a 15-year-old, making hotscakes that are inedible
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
I spies, with my beady eyes, something that won't be in the yearbook
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Weather Channel)
 
 
 
The lack of snow is costing Americans tens of millions of dollars. Could someone figure out the exact right amount of snow so we can coordinate our prayers, please?
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
What would a Photoshop Contest of The Year be without a trophy to award to the winner? Create what an appropriately Fark-worthy trophy should look like
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Christine rolls through car-park, across the road, down the driveway, under the roller door, and parks perfectly inside a garage. Ta-da
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Girl Scouts introduce new cookie that is healthier. Unless you inhale the whole box in one sitting. Again
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bipedal Guy)
 
 
 
Two-legged cat finds his forever home. Welcome home Deuce and happy Caturday
source: blogs.catster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Magazine)
 
 
 
Today the ghost of Charles Addams is 100. Google doodle? You bet
source: pcmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
No matter which side you're on, your home life just became more difficult. And admissible in court
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gold ring lost for decades returned after being found in underwater cave, described as 'precious'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
"We began to suspect something out of the ordinary when my wife answered a call one afternoon and was asked if she could 'do a half-hour'"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Britain's. Strongest. Schoolgirl.
source: nla.thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVZ Bend)
 
 
 
Study finds high-fat foods cause brain scarring -- but that's cool, zombie chicks dig brain scars
source: ktvz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri January 06, 2012
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
This week's mugshot roundup features fur, freaky tattoos and frowns
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
To love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live -- at least until your brain injury. Then I'm going to marry this new guy, who's going to live with me, but take you to IHOP sometimes. Okay?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
♫ Would you like to ride in my beautiful ballooOH SHIAT
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Seattle megachurch pastor sparks controversy over detailed sex book he wrote with his wife. Holy fark
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Today's poorly-written headline: "Eldridge man to serve 14 years making meth"
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Jogger gets run over by deer"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his carp
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Driving with a cold is the same as driving after 4 double shots of whiskey
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Woodbridge VA Fark Party - 7 Jan - Bungalow Alehouse - 6:30pm
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(American Independent)
 
 
 
According to the president of the American Family Association, HIV does not cause AIDS. Nope, it's caused by too much gay sex
source: americanindependent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Good News: You're a lottery winner. Bad News: You only won $1000. Fark: The check bounced
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life.com)
 
 
 
What can you carry on your head? (Possibly NSFW in a National Geographic kind of way)
source: life.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The Obama administration broadens the definition of rape to include men. So, apparently, it wasn't legally possible to rape a man until now
source: usnews.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington City Paper)
 
 
 
"In my mind -- hell, in my own life -- what's happening isn't just the delayed onset of adulthood. It's the refusal of adulthood entirely. It's not failure to thrive. It's an awareness that thriving kind of blows"
source: washingtoncitypaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dissection animals, the God Jesus Robot, the Carp Person, and other weird toys from Japan
source: incrediblethings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The most vain city in the US is Miami, though it's followed closely by Chicago, whose residents dip their hats strategically below one eye and wear apricot scarfs
source: travel.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wisconsin State Journal)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop arrested
source: host.madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Arbeit Macht Thin: Dubai gym uses photo of Nazi death camp Auschwitz to promote weight loss
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this waiting room
source: 3.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, so we're back on track with the Fark Weird News Quiz. You've never seen so many farkers scoring at once
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
My justice system is full of eels
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
ABC wants to show us Dick for the next 10 years
source: thedailyload.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man discovers just how real the graphics on Microsoft Gun in a Bag Simulator 2012 can be
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Syrians aren't saying aliens have landed, but an alien has landed
source: blogs.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
There used to be just two Stephen Colberts, now there are more but no one really knows how many for sure
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Guess who rescued the crew of a hijacked Iranian fishing boat?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
News: Joran Van der Sloot to "sincerely" confess to murder. Fark: No, not her
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Welsh Corgi dog swept away in avalanche shows up at his motel room in Cooke City four days later, hungry. Ole
source: hosted2.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Two goats eat bullets, leaves
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Mysterious religious codex found to contain images of Satan, offering historical insight into the lives of thirteenth century monks who were stuck behind desks all day without access to Fark
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Rodents of Unusual Size, I don't they exis...AHHHHHHH
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hollyscoop)
 
 
 
Vanity Fair: "What's your most prized possession?" Daniel Craig: "Apart from my penis and my health? My third nipple"
source: hollyscoop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
If the Steelers win on Sunday, the mayor of Denver has to wear a Terrible Towel. If the Broncos win, the mayor of Pittsburgh has to Tebow in public
source: blogs.denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
The Economist discovers what happens when you google 'Santorum'. Stiff upper ... lip, and all that
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Showbiz Spy)
 
 
 
Bristol Palin hates her fame. That makes all of us
source: showbizspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Federal judge says illegal tasering is worth $1 in damages. Here's a $20 in advance, I'm going out to have some fun
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Awesome: You're pinned under a 3,200 pound car after a bike accident and firefighters use brute strength to lift it off of you. Sucks to be you: Cops then ticket you for unlawful lane change and improper use of lane
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After Texas school shooting where police killed a 15-year-old eighth grader, many questions loom--the first of which is, what is a 15 year old doing in eighth grade?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What's worse than losing a penis? Losing two
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
'Body language expert' with Dippity Do hairdo analyzes video - confirms that Casey Anthony is vain, lonely, immature, and trying to be sexy
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Fark-ready headline: "Grandmother set up by pot-pedaling smurf"
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Free Press)
 
 
 
Giant boot stolen from display. Police on the lookout for an old lady who has so many kids she doesn't know what to do
source: lfpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Gamers in the process of a 3 day Sonic the Hedgehog marathon for charity. Check them out and throw some cash towards a good cause
source: gamingchronicles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northwest Ohio News)
 
 
 
Ugly ass tiger cubs greet visitors for the first time at the Toledo Zoo. (w/ video) Ugly assfecta in play
source: northwestohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AlanCross.ca)
 
 
 
How did the special audience lyrics in Billy Idol's "Mony Mony" originate? Seriously, people, this is an important anthropological question that needs an answer
source: alancross.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Ladies, when you were pregnant...what retarded drivel/advice not based on actual science or reality did you hear from friends, family, coworkers or random strangers? Anything from guessing the sex of the baby to your personal diet to birthing
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Impromptu Twin Cities Fark Party. Because YOU asked for it. Jan 6, TONIGHT at Psycho Suzi's
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
People close to her said she sounded like she was going to cough up a lung. And then she did
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Coworker just said, "I have no desire to live 100 years." Why wouldn't you? Would you want to live 200 more years if you could?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Taking off your wedding ring and throwing it at your wife might be an effective gesture during an argument, but not if you have to call emergency services to help you
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(96.1 KISS)
 
 
 
For the lovers out there, the Pittsburgh Zoo is offering an Adults Only Valentines Dinner with exotic animal mating presentation
source: 961kiss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The same security camera that captured a man stealing a family's Christmas presents also captures him returning them two days later with an apology note. Unclear if you can see his heart grow three sizes
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macomb Daily)
 
 
 
Those evil bastards ... Man calls cops, suspects Al Qaeda putting subliminal messages in his porn
source: macombdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Britons' top health complaints include being "bald and toothless", according to census. This is a repeat from 1911
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Driver to spend 20 years in jail for not being a Kennedy
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
French fans of Michael Jackson sue the late star's doctor for "emotional damage" they suffered over his death. "It's similar to losing a childhood friend in a traffic accident," their lawyer said...exac...wait, what?
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lacrosse Tribune)
 
 
 
Want to convince a judge that you can't move your arms? Don't do pushups in your jail cell, idiot
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Archaeologists have discovered that the people of Pompeii were slobby and crude. Trash was found inside tombs as well as graffiti of the 'bathroom' variety. "Cleopatra goes down"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
What would you do if your spouse were gone for two months? This woman decided to take off her clothes and bend over in front of eight naked men
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
That's New York CARDINAL Dolan, biatch
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: photograph emerges of Mitt Romney in Vietnam demonstration. Do not pass news, proceed directly to Fark: in support of the Vietnam War
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Let's go over the minutes from the last meeting - the mayor, the city council president, and the city councilman are being investigated by the feds. Okay, next order of business - more rights for the city of Washington DC
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Man beheaded in fight over tipped barbecue grill
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
A quick how-to on becoming a dictator. "So, I have a small group of rewarded cronies and a highly taxed population. Now what?"
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Montana population reaches 1 million for the first time. Big Sky Country will soon change to Brown Sky Country
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Brain function starts to decline at age 45, say those men in those jackets over in that place with the lady with that big thing on her head. You know, it's all shiny and there's those guys with the tall hats and no eyes
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Today's weird crap washing up on the beach brought to you by pig carcasses in Bradenton
source: bradenton.wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Why would somebody repeatedly dump dirty adult diapers on the same stretch of highway? Depends
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Real Housewife of Atlanta to start new sex toy line. Presumably called Narcissism and with models called trophy and "looks pretty but shouldn't speak"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
That must have been a heck of a mustache, or one heck of an ugly woman
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It takes some balls to break into someone's house, live there openly, claim "adverse possession," throw out their stuff, and then charge them for home improvements because they were out of town getting chemo
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
NASA is delaying the auction of the hand-written checklist from Apollo 13 until the prop department in the Nevada desert can make another one
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Government list of disallowed baby names shows that New Zealand parents still cannot get Anal*
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Hot Florida teacher arrested for soliciting sex with minors - just kidding, Kill it with Fire
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nine MSN)
 
 
 
Naked man goes viral, should probably see a doctor about that
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Iran plans more war games in strait, obviously unaware that the only way to win is not to play
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
What's the best investment in America? Stocks? Bonds? How about a 22,000% return on buying a member of congress
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Kentucky Woman indicted on charges of threatening former President George W. Bush. Neil Diamond reported to be inconsolable
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
While it might be cute in a sitcom, accidentally handing over your gun to the cashier you're robbing isn't ideal in real life
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
PETA wants to put memorials on the roads where cows have died. Photoshop what such a memorial might look like
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
On the one hand, you shot the guy 18 times. On the other hand, the guy was molesting a kid. The Florida tag finds itself in a moral quandary
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man calls emergency services after gluing cups to his head
source: shieldsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBZ2 Bangor)
 
 
 
A man robbing a Dallas hair salon demands all the cash for himself, all the change for his kids, and the best hair extensions because, "My b**** needs some hair extensions"
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Odd origins of some words. Yes, Crane comes from a rapist pardoned for raping...who then created an elaborate execution system that doubled as a nice way to off-load heavy objects. Rape
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Techzwn)
 
 
 
Not News: News industry forms RIAA-like group. News: Says lawsuits won't be part of starting playbook, but will be added eventually. Fark: First salesperson starts next week
source: techzwn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Merced Sun-Star)
 
 
 
Today's special: Vag Lasguna. This menu brought to you by the dining hall at the University of California, Merced
source: mercedsunstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Crooks & Liars)
 
 
 
Stupid: New Hampshire GOP passes new bill allowing parents the choice to not educate their children. HILARIOUS: Request must be made in writing
source: crooksandliars.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
You are truly a stud if after your death hundreds of nurses come forward to tell the world they had sexual relations with you
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Guns don't kill people. 50 caliber semiautomatic Desert Eagle wielding trailer park stepchild rednecks kill people (with gratuitious pic)
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Hey, you got your anthrax in my heroin" "Well, you got your heroin in my anthrax" Thud. Thud
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Rahm Emanuel's latest cost-saving measure: having all Chicago-area libraries closed on Mondays. BOOK IT, DONE
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
High school drama teacher charged with giving curtain calls to an underage student. (With "you'd give her a callback after an audition" pic)
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Education News)
 
 
 
Why do languages die? lol i dunno
source: educationviews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Marine biologist could get 20 years in prison and a half million dollars in fines. Her crime? Feeding whales
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Man robs the elderly, steals donation jar, caught before taking candy from a baby
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Not News: Busted for stealing from work. News: You're a medical examiner. Fark: You stole body parts. TotalFark: To homeschool your own cadaver dog
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu January 05, 2012
(Discovery)
 
 
 
"Maya region to profit from 2012 tourism" in what is likely the longest con ever
source: news.discovery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV Portland)
 
 
 
Burglars break into house, steal coin collection worth thousands -- then proceed to dump it all in coin counting machine, netting $450
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you. And if someone has a foot fetish, but also likes breasts, in my case they're in the same general area"
source: bisserjeta.hsara.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man dying to use the carpool lane buckles up a plastic skeleton in the passenger seat (w/ pic)
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this foxy maneuver
source: i.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AM and PM News)
 
 
 
Building his resume for a future career with the DEA, Navy SEAL shoots self in head while demonstrating that his gun was not loaded
source: nctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Brothel owner decides that if you have to be screwed by a politician, he wants it to be Ron Paul. "We thought real closely about supporting Newt Gingrich, because he's a cheater and we like cheaters"
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
For cold and flu season, a food critic determines which cough syrups taste best and which taste the most like liquid death
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Today's criminal who's definitely NOT a farker is a guy who robbed an adult store for just the cash, incense and potpourri
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
No matter how much they annoy you, you should avoid plucking your nose hair
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
And if elected to office as one of the country's youngest public officials, I pledge to throw a brick through my ex-girlfriend's window and slip out of handcuffs during an alcohol-related arrest
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jezebel)
 
 
 
Casey Anthony video diary, Day 1: "I adopted a dog"
source: jezebel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Shut your pie hole
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Woman gives birth to 15 pound, 7 ounce baby. Man, this childhood obesity problem is really getting out of hand
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Ugly ass baby Tapir the first new year baby at the Tampa Zoo. With ugly ass pics
source: southtampa.wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
January is National Birth Defect Prevention month. Luckily for Farkers, you can get your daily requirement of folic acid from the orange juice in your average screwdriver
source: nbdpn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTSP)
 
 
 
Protip: Get rid of that bag of weed before you get to the courthouse security checkpoint, unlike this guy
source: winterhaven.wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The panda that you think you see is not the real panda. That panda only exists in your mind. It is a fake panda. This panda, the panda you don't see, this is the real panda
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Do you know anyone or better yet, work with anyone who is really paranoid or conspiracy believing? Like they think the Government is watching them, or that the CIA put LSD in their drinking water or some other nonsense?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Unfortunately, each dimebag comes with a long, rambling story usually involving an onion and a belt
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit resident: Help - Someone's trying to kill me. Detroit Police: I'm sorry....we're closed. Try again tomorrow after 8:00am
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Everybody's got them. What dumb cute pet names do you and your spouse or lover call each other, that no one else uses?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Q: How many people does it take to pick out a light bulb? A: 535
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Pure airplane porn: the next fighter jet we don't need
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hacker, apparently unaware of which decade the rest of the world lives in, digs up secret intel files on Henry Kissinger, Dan Quayle. Quick, Mr. Peabody, fire up the Wayback Machine
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Canada's answer to Glenn Beck gives a reasoned, articulate response to a company's boycott of tarsands oil. Just kidding, he tells the senior VP to go f*ck his mother
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Twilight: The Musical is sparkling its way to Broadway
source: popwatch.ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
What's over 590 lbs, smells like fish and recently made almost $750,000 by selling its body in Japan? Besides submitter's mom
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Caroline Kennedy is "against her cousin Maria Shriver's reunion with Arnold Schwarzenegger." Because if there's anyone that can offer good marriage advice, it's a Kennedy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Boy, are the Chinese gonna be pissed when they realize that they've got Warren and Jimmy confused
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Man scams pay phone users out of $4 million. In other news, pay phones were used to make calls by people before there were cellphones
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
"I want her to go to prison where she can get help, where she can't do drugs or have anything bad (happen) to her." Heh, looks like someone never watched Oz
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click Orlando)
 
 
 
Trooper applies taser-like force to Drunky McVader
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Michigan congregation opens tattoo parlor inside their church. Leviticus may have a problem with this
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Former News of the World editor takes over at the New York Daily News. Apparently some folks have a problem with this
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
Shot in the eye, woman insists on finishing beer: priorities, gotta have 'em
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Mother of autistic son facing criminal charges because he's tardy. Well that just seems insensitive
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
"I'd like two hot dogs all the way, a shot of moonshine, and for you to put your hands behind your back and spread 'em"
source: downtownjax.firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
US arson suspect faces German fire probe. German fire prober tells him he's facing the wrong direction
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(truTV)
 
 
 
A journalist's experience in Iowa. "One elderly woman told me to 'go away' when I asked her about her Romney button, and another flipped me the bird. I even tried holding a baby"
source: blog.trutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Canadian Defence Minister marries hot Iranian chick. What could possibly go wrong?
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life.com)
 
 
 
"Drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day. It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn. I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now"
source: life.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
We are sorry to announce the cancellation of the 06:47 Edinburgh train due to the wrong kind of tree on the line
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
You picked a fine time to leave me loose wheel
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
While you were busy being outraged over Verizon's $2 fee to make a payment other utilities were already charging $4.95
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
It took a special commission to conclude California doesn't have $100 billion to spend on railroads
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hollywood Reporter)
 
 
 
The biggest fashion risk-takers of 2011. Yes, the toilet seat hat is in there
source: hollywoodreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Latest threat to commercial aviation in New Zealand: flying sharks
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
If you were planning on spending $3.5 million for a 30 second Super Bowl ad this year, you're too late
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
How much has American culture slipped? It has come to the point where 4chan memes are seen as social commentary
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Well, about that Steve Jobs superhero action figure
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Woman dragged out of car, assaulted on southwest side. So that's like, what, the back of her left leg?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
China bus slides off snow-covered bridge, claims 16 lives and 1 curio cabinet
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMAL Washington)
 
 
 
Federal judge says Maryland's redistricting boundaries look like "a broken-winged pterodactyl, lying prostrate across the center of the state," which may mark the first time a judge has likened district boundaries to a dinosaur
source: wmal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Not news: Man takes car on test drive from dealership. News: He gets arrested. FARK: After a "test drive" of 160 miles
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
When a judge finds it "highly implausible" 11 panelists would "stick their noses in jars of excrement and report 44 independent times that they smelled nothing unpleasant," you'll probably have to pull your commercial
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Minnesota)
 
 
 
And somewhere in suburban Minnesota, a pizza fight led to assault and drug charges. Ah, cheese
source: minnesota.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Reforms are coming / But not too fast / Just around the corner / Comes freedom at last / Burma raves
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Only 1 in 3 doctors knows to wash their hands after coming into contact with the barf/fluids of the patient they saw just before they see you. Don't worry though, last year only 100,000 people croaked as a result
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Congratulations Americans. Chances are you are the 1%...globally
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Florida man bitten, stabbed after argument with girlfriend over missing New Year's Eve 'ball drop' on TV. To prevent future 'ball drop' violence, police suggest he set his DVR next time
source: blogs.tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
How many Polish art students does it take to hang their own paintings in a museum?
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
FDA orders safety evaluation of vaginal mesh. Farkettes, line up to the left for your inspection
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMAL Washington)
 
 
 
White people "can't do a damn thing to me or about me. Isn't that funny?" says DC's Mayor for Life Marion Barry. Ya know, the one who was caught smoking crack in the 90s and now they're making a movie about him
source: wmal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Jack Abramoff is speaking out against corruption in Washington and wants to work with the Occupy Wall Street movement. Read that sentence again, slowly. Enjoy your aneurysm
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Police speculate vehicle may have been traveling over the posted speed limit of 30 miles per hour, planning a complete investigation once they get the car down from the house roof it ended up on
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Announcing the 2012 Weird Science Awards. Tell me how it ends, I have to go pee
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
New study released by the Institute for People That Aren't Farkers (IPTAF) says that raising prices on alcoholic beverages may curb drinking
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fiery breath
source: news.bbcimg.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangkok Post)
 
 
 
Even in the Bang Phlat section of Bangkok, Thailand it is illegal to perform "penis enlargement massages" in your car
source: bangkokpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nutritionist says France should tackle child obesity by giving slim children better grades. Educators scoff at idea for U.S. saying it would only improve grades of three kids
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Now that the United States has left Iraq, Iraq is experiencing stability not seen since the days of Saddam Hussein
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
The force is strong in this bun
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"Cops: Colorado woman punches, rubs her buttocks against $30 million painting." Everybody's a critic
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Things you probably shouldn't do while driving: texting, putting on makeup, making meth, reading the...wait, what?
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
You probably made some bad choices in life when police find your body on fire on the side of the road and have to release pictures of your tattoos to see if anyone can identify you
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Six police officers shot in ChicOgden
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman gives police inconsistent stories in regard to where her missing son, sharpie, have been for more than a month
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
"For the next twelve hours Debbie was made to stand in a large garbage can and face one hundred people screaming at her demanding a confession as to her 'homosexual tendencies'"
source: blogs.villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Want to see a dash-cam video from a police cruiser? Then we'll sue you for asking, citizen. Bonus: Videos will only be released after statue of limitations expires for police misconduct
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Turns out it is actually quite healthy for your teen to talk back and let you know you're horrible. HORRIBLE. *slams door* HORRIBLE *slams door again* HORRIBLE *slam* YOU'RE HORRIBLE
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"It's an entirely different kind of flying ... *hic* ... altogether"
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 348: "Desolation". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed January 04, 2012
(Montreal Gazette)
 
 
 
People with unfortunate names are more likely to be abused and get ill, reports Dave Hitler
source: montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Clearly, the sensible thing to do after losing an argument over cereal is to set yourself on fire
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pig in a puddle
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Rock wants to avoid water war with Arizona. Rowdy Roddy Piper is in, though
source: mesquitelocalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PhysOrg.com)
 
 
 
Pentagon physicists devise a "time cloak"; the device manipulates the flow of light in such a way that for a fraction of a second, an event cannot be seen
source: physorg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rome News-Tribune)
 
 
 
"Johnson allegedly concealed 17 cans of baby formula, two douches, three toothbrushes, one bottle of K-Y lubricant, one bottle of shaving gel and one Lysol refill into a black diaper bag"
source: rn-t.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
New study reveals that middle-aged pot smokers actually scored higher on memory tests than those who didn't use the drug. So why is it illegal again?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
The only picture of a squirrel getting it on with T-Rex you'll see today. Really
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
A Texas judge who ruled against execution has been removed from the case so that justice can be executed
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Aged Moptop)
 
 
 
Photoshop this other famous Beatles photograph
source: themusicslut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad Cities Online)
 
 
 
If you live in Illinois and want to buy drain cleaner, you will now have to show your ID, because "drain cleaners contain acid and acid was used to attack someone three years ago"
source: qconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Montana train locomotive ambushed, fired upon. This is not a repeat from 1892
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Another score for Bank of America PR dept.: Typo involving 80 cents nearly cost man his home
source: tbo.ly   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Auxiliary Bishop of Los Angeles resigns to spend more time with his children
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Catholics molested altar boys and covered it up for centuries. New hotness: Catholics sank the Titanic, orchestrated Holocaust, got America into Vietnam
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man to finally undergo surgery on one-meter tumor on his leg. Doctors will attempt to convert it to feet
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
CA judge rules that ramming someone with a shopping cart is protected political speech, so long as the person you are ramming is saying something you object to
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2011 Headline of the Year contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A recently widowed teen mom shot and killed a burglar to protect her 3-month-old son on New Year's Eve after asking the 911 operator for permission to fire
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Number of victims of butt-injection 'doctor' inflates to 30
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Lost world discovered under Antarctica is full of weird alien-looking species. Still no sign of Elvis
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Expert says that a mouse wouldn't actually dissolve in Mountain Dew, however, it would make it taste slightly worse
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(truTV)
 
 
 
Most plausible 2012 conspiracy theory predictions: The US will go to war with Iran, Alex Jones will spontaneously combust from yelling
source: trutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
While it's embarrassing enough being seen going to a kid's movie, going naked will land you on the Smoking Gun, Fark
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Teen girl missing since 2010 turns up in Colombia. FARK: She was deported by ICE. DOUBLE FARK: She's a U.S. citizen, black, and speaks no Spanish
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JackFM)
 
 
 
If you drink and drive, throw away your bar tab receipt. And don't vomit on the breathalyzer
source: 1027jackfm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
Indiana State Police ban "potentially dangerous" cans of Dr Pepper from Statehouse, where vending machines inside sell ... Dr Pepper
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Drastic cuts in school spending show an upside: it's easier to catch teen vandals after they post videos of themselves spray painting cars on YouTube
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLBZ2 Bangor)
 
 
 
If the USOC tells the Redneck Olympics to stop using "Olympics", this is the response you'd expect: "If the USOC asks what goes in the eight blank spaces after the word redneck he'll say it's bull****"
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chronic KY gubernatorial candidate Gatewood Galbraith passes
source: state-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Macomb Daily)
 
 
 
Nothing handy with which to beat your girlfriend? Hey, there's a two-foot cross
source: macombdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some ghost)
 
 
 
250 years ago this month, a London ghost claimed to have been murdered in what was to become a nationwide scandal
source: ianvisits.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
72-year-old woman wanders away from home, is found by search parties the following day - in her back yard. Head of the search party, Mr. Magoo, is said to be very relieved
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
If you're arrested on suspicion of shoplifting, don't tell the arresting officers that you were Rudy from the Cosby Show. No one liked that annoying brat anyway
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Looks like the Euro bailout was all for nothing as Greece warns it could exit the Euro by April
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I'm sorry sir, I cannot buy your vehicle, even at a 30% discount, because your license plate clearly indicates you are a dead cow pimp
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man arrested twice in same day for huffing aerosol.. Sounds familiar?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You know sometimes the ACLU can seem picky and annoying when demanding governments not fund things that seem to promote religion. But in the case of WV's "Jesus Fest" they may have a point
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Poisoned pussy kills billionaire in China
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
A Mayan North Georgia? Itza possibility
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop these muddy musicians
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
If you were wondering why your moonshine delivery never made it, here's the reason
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stylist)
 
 
 
Naked man accidentally photobombs fashion shoot for kids (Not safe for work)
source: stylist.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Regretsy)
 
 
 
Buyer disputes eBay purchase with Paypal. Paypal tells buyer to destroy item. Item is -- sorry, "was" -- an antique violin worth $2500
source: regretsy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scientists now think that the great Khmer empire in Cambodia collapsed due to a prolonged drought, and not because of immigration issues caused by too many Angkor babies as previously thought
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Business Times)
 
 
 
Romans kept it simple. Pay for sex using a coin with two people having sex on it
source: uk.ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Cops pulls a woman over for speeding and offers to take her out on a date to make up for the $132 ticket he's about to give her
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Beware of zombees
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLSAM)
 
 
 
Chicagoans can now go online to track the snow plows that are not clearing their streets
source: wlsam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
What happens when a group of 8-year-olds sing a song about being part of the 99 percent? Oh, you'd better believe there's outrage
source: radio.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Chicago man gets shot three times, shoved in trunk of his own car, is taken on a ride through the city, then manages to free himself and call for help. TA-DAA
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPHO Phoenix)
 
 
 
*Ding* You are now free to fall asleep and end up in the wrong city
source: kpho.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
If you're a 90-something year old seaman who lost a shaving kit on a Navy submarine, the Manitowoc Maritime Museum would like a word with you
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
World's. Tallest. Transsexual. (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Santorum surprises caucus in a tight one
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Guess who knows who the next president will be? God. Guess who God told? Pat Robertson. Guess who Pat Robertson is going to tell? NOT YOU
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue January 03, 2012
(Google)
 
 
 
Today's burning question before SCOTUS: Does a police dog's sniff outside a house give officers the right to get a search warrant for illegal drugs, or is the sniff an unconstitutional search?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Iowa is more than cornfields, cows, and slack-jawed yokels, claims Iowan
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXYZ Detroit)
 
 
 
Because crime is so low, Detroit decides to lay off 100 police officers
source: wxyz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Iowan)
 
 
 
After a year and a half, tens of millions spent, and several candidates; so begins the actual voting. (Your Iowa Caucus thread.)
source: iowagop.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Naples Daily News)
 
 
 
Attention all school bullies. Your victims can now legally take you out with deadly force
source: naplesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Meal)
 
 
 
Chain restaurants worth eating at, presented as a 10-course prix fixe slideshow. We begin with an amuse bouche of Cheesecake Factory and finish with a subtle yet flavorful In-N-Out Burger
source: thedailymeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these shiny baubles into something more interesting
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLKY Louisville)
 
 
 
Truck carrying 40,000 lbs of potatoes overturns, estimates place several million eyes witnessed at the scene
source: wlky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Not News: Cop caught planting evidence. News: Cop caught on film planting evidence. Fark: Caught by his own dash cam
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Seven-year-old girl attacked by kangaroo, Jack
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
"Officially, the White House says Obama never went to Mars"
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Dave Barry's 2011 Year in Review
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Feminists upset after Lego launches a toy line for girls. "Someone should tell them that they already have one; it's called Legos"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
A few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 12/25 - 12/31
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Did you know that the Loch Ness surface goes up and down by just 1.5mm when the monster gets out to towel off?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dude, dude, moobs just like a lady ♫
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Today's NYC has got you by the short hairs for unknowingly violating its gun law brought to you by the Empire State Building
source: dailycaller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop Contest: Photoshop a ring and a king on the wing. (Link goes to something with no connection to this contest 'cause subby doesn't wanna give you any help)
source: farm3.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Survey finds two thirds of British drivers are confused by basic road signs, 100% still drive on the wrong side of the road
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How attention whores are made: 7 year old daughter of "The Human Barbie" who got a boob job voucher last year got one for liposuction in her Christmas stocking
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"So I figured, when's the next time I'm going to be in Bali?"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
It's come to this: Dude ranches across America forced to purchase super-sized saddles to accommodate clients. "To put it bluntly, we call them the big-butt saddles"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Aretha Franklin is E-N-G-A-G-E-D
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Five-year-old girl has overdue books. Library: A) Sends a letter asking for it to be returned, B) sends an e-mail, or C) sends the cops to the girl's house
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Man eats a slice from every pizzeria in Manhattan, including Ray's, Original Ray's, Ray's Original, Famous Ray's Original, New York Ray's, El Rey's, and 350 other places that suck compared to your favorite
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
TSG Mugshot Roundup: I'm not saying that it was aliens, but...ALIENS (especially #13)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The bride's family pays for the wedding, the groom's for the rehearsal dinner, and the best man buys strippers for the bachelor party. But who supposed to pay for the bridalplasty?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Taliban tentatively agree to set up office space in Qatar, though are pushing back on the format of TPS reports
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
California ferret lovers push to overturn ownership ban, and for legitimacy of the sport of ferret legging
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Nevermind
source: blog.chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Just starting up a new gym routine as part of your New Year's resolutions? Here is your full list of gym etiquette, and for the love of all that is holy, pay attention to #5
source: joethepeacock.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The guy busted with the backpack full of explosives at a TX airport on New Year's Eve is now looking less like a scary terrorist and more like a Special Forces demolition expert planning some awesome fireworks for his buddies
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Gynecologists opening minds, orifices for transgender patients
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)