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| Sun December 04, 2011 |
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Massive pileup in Japan claims 8 Ferraris, 3 Mercs, 1 Lambo, and a Prius
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Aging survivors of Pearl Harbor attack are passing on the Bataan
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Man protests bureaucracy by releasing 40 cobras in tax office
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US Postal Service to do the impossible, make mail delivery even slower
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"Excuse me, are you talking to me?" "No." "Okay, then." STAB STAB STAB STAB
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sasquatch hunters are recruiting around US Army base Fort Bragg, NC. Will highly trained military members finally catch this scumbag yeti?
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| (Some Flabby Lizard) |
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Photoshop this edgy tree
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"Homeowners everywhere are anxious to hire work crews to cut up those limbs and branches... But a word of caution: Hiring the wrong people could actually do more harm than good." I'm intrigued by your insight, Ric Romero
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Mother says 9-year-old suspended for saying his teacher was cute. 9-year-old agrees that's what happened. There's no other confirmation so maybe it's not quite this simple. Still, don't we all want to believe this is true?
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Whats bigger than Lucille's Balls and Whinny's Pooh? Give up? Why its Lincoln Log and we've got a picture of the epic driftwood
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Top 10 predictions for 2012. Step right up, place your bets
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| (Some Guy) |
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10 year veteran of pizza deliveries petitions Congress for a minimum pay rate of $20 hour. Bonus: He points out no one has a Constitutional right to pizza delivery and no tip? Then you need to buy frozen pizza at the supermarket
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D...r...u...n...k . . . m...a...n . . . b...u...s...t...e...d . . . f...o...r . . . d...r...i...v...i...n...g . . . t...o...o . . . s...l...o...w...l...y
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Hot brunette claims she was injured and humiliated by TSA during strip search with picture goodness
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Top ten places to avoid this holiday season
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Deep in the hills Pennsyltucket. A man kept his cash in a bucket. A burglar his gun, stole away just for fun. And as for the bucket, he took it
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Photoshop Theme: Fark's 2011 Holiday List of Unsafe Children's Toys
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NYPD stealing pizzas from Robin Hood protesters. Those monstrous bastards
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Just when gas prices were actually dropping below $3.00 a gallon in some places, Iran pulls a HA HA moment
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All men are mortal. Socrates is a man. Therefore, Socrates is mortal
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Giant pandas en route to Scotland. EVERYBODY PANIC
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| (Some Guy) |
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Former Miss World Canada contestant and Miss Congeniality award winner one of the latest to be charged in the Vancouver Stanley Cup riot
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Why Atheists celebrate Christmas. Also why Trekkies celebrate March 22 in Riverside, Why Potter fanatics celebrate July 31, and why leprechauns are hoarding gold
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Listen up you fudging Farkers. It's about fudging time you fudging learned how to make some fudging fudge. Just don't ask us to help you pack it, that's what your mom is for
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Hockey mom penalized for taking a 2-on-1 from her son's team (w/needs a hockey mask pic)
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Iranian military photoshops out U.S. drone
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Just another Sunday in Germany - concerts in the park, boating on the Rhine, experts detonating a 1.8 ton WWII bomb
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Noah's Ark officially found in Turkish mountains. Well, that settles everything once and for all
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Drink marketed as a hangover cure enrages alcohol and road safety groups who fear it will encourage drunk driving
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Pro Tip: When attempting to escape Wal-Mart security after being caught shoplifting, it usually isn't the best policy to use your baby as a weapon by swinging it at the officers
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Hey, we're all angry with the government these days. But that doesn't mean you should protest by whacking a dead raccoon against the doors of City Hall
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Penis too small? No penis? Trying to compensate for something? Your penismobile has arrived
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If you grow anything with hydroponics in Florida the police will automatically assume you are growing pot and come kick down your door without a warrant
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Photoshop these Golden Girls
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Queen's income down from $120m to $59m a year. Obviously it's because of the new singer
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Lawyer is not feeling irie after he's awarded only $1.50 for successfully defending the religous right of a prisoner to not have his dreadlocks touched by guards
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Smoking crack, passing counterfeit money, smacking up juvies, spitting on arrestees, cracking heads open -- just another day in the life of corrupt untouchable cops in the great state of Florida
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And you thought your holiday family gatherings were awkward
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Man stranded in snow for three days survives on frozen Coors Light, which article incorrectly identifies as "beer"
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Starbucks' "festive favorites" coffee contains 579 calories... almost 90 more than a Big Mac
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Radio station hosts a "Coats for Kids" night at a shopping mall. Things went will until several fights flared up and gunfire broke out
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While you were busy trying to make ends meet, a woman in Seattle has been collecting $1200 a month in housing assistance, along with food stamps and living in a 2,500 square-foot home, with gardens and a boat dock, that is valued at $1.2 million
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Grand jury refuses to indict McDonald's cashier who beat two customers with a pipe for giving him a fake $50 bill, fracturing one's skull and breaking her arm. Good thing they didn't try to use a $2 bill
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During a North Pole geography lesson, second-grade teacher informs the students that Santa doesn't exist. Why yes, some parents have a problem with this. "It's outrageous that a teacher would strip a child of their innocence"
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Cop uses a truck he stole from a drunk driver to intentionally ram his wife's car
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Detroit mother of six trades house for minivan. "I lost a friend over this. She felt my decision made me look bad"
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And the world's least corrupt nation is
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Police report says a man charged with assault walked up to a woman in a bar and "kissed her and put his tongue down her throat against her will." I'm sure the plan sounded much more smooth and sexy in his head beforehand
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Man caught lurking in the trees dressed all in black with a hooded sweatshirt and armed with a flashlight and a machete and nursing a spider bite tells cops he was walking to the store to buy his lady some smokes
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| Sat December 03, 2011 |
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Would you kill one person to save five others?
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School puts up Ten Commandments display. Student complains, prompts ACLU to file lawsuit. Of course, the school wants to force the court to release the student's name and are calling him a "coward" for remaining anonymous
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Man claims he was running a "clean" escort service but "Craigslist really filthed it up"
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| (Some Guy) |
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63 Percent of Illegal Aliens have Resided in the U.S. 10 Years or More. The illegals don't need to be "brought out of the shadows" because they live and work openly
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Study: People trust atheists about as much as they do rapists. "There's this persistent belief that people behave better if they feel like God is watching them." Oh for God's sake
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Photoshop this woman shoplifting
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Mother hyena brings ugly-ass pups above ground, poses for rare photos
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Protip: If your disturbed wife's shopping list includes plastic sheets, gallons of bleach, eight roasting pans, and a Sawzall, you might want to spend the holidays elsewhere
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Asians' college strategy: Don't check 'Asian'
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Photoshop this double deal
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You know your councilman deserves reelection when he calls the FAA to stop low-flying airplanes from disturbing 80-year-old's daily Matlock viewings
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The most popular baby names of 2011 are here, and let's welcome a whole generation of children who will get teased by kids in their class with normal, unpretentious names
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We're sorry our bus hit your car, please send us a $70,000 money order, kthxbai
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In a bid to help law enforcement officers with cognitive difficulties, the Border patrol and other agencies are purging anyone intelligent enough to question the drug war
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Sheriff's deputies and movers show up on orders from bank to forcefully evict a 103-year old woman and her 86-year old daughter from their house. Refuse to do it when they actually see the women. Man, but it's dusty in here
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Sex with minors, snorting crushed pills, storing porn on city owned phones, shooting other officers and running from other law enforcement agencies... just another day in the Cleveland (Tennessee) Police Department
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St. Petersburg, Florida has again been named the nation's saddest city, God's waiting room
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For the record, there have been no official reports of flesh-eating bananas in Mozambique
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It's not too late to make plans to come to Eastport, Maine and watch the Great Sardine drop for New Years. "Oh, yeah, it's good luck to kiss the fish"
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Photoshop this ChemCam chamber
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| (Owner of a counter-surfer) |
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Tag is for subby. Yes she's okay. I'm going to just leave this here as a public service message: What to do if your dog eats your medical marijuana
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Eating Disorder? You were raped by a Satanic cult. Anxiety? Raped by a Satanic cult. Tension? Fear? Sad? Cult, cult, cult
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Celebrity cats shown in "Hoarders" crawl out from rubble to find new homes in time for Caturday
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Man who lost both legs denied wheelchair until council can determine if his condition is permanent. That's quite a stumper
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The 45 most powerful images of 2011. Yep, that one's there. That one too. (Some images may be disturbing)
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If only there were a phrase to describe this sort of behavior
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When Alabama arrested one foreign car executive under its new immigration law, that might have been a fluke. But now they've gone and done it again
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Upper house of African country's legislature passes bill to lock up all gays for 14 years. No, it's not Uganda
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Occupy Boston protesters trying to winterize their encampment have brought everything but the kitchen sink, and only because the cops confiscated that
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Police in western South Dakota brought beanbags to a sword fight
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What has two thumbs, a hooker, and really wishes 411 and 911 weren't so similar? This guy
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| Fri December 02, 2011 |
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1st grader faces sexual harassment charge for punching another boy in the groin. Mom says the other kid choked her son, and says if you consider the punch to be sexual assault, then you need to charge the other boy with attempted murder
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Man dies from nosebleed
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After last week's less than stellar entries, a return to form this week in the Mugshot Roundup
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Effin woman can't get Facebook to acknowledge her Effin town, for eff's sake
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Cities with America's strangest people. The list could very easily be called "Where the liberals at?" instead
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Photoshop theme: Move a street name sign to a more appropriate, or inappropriate location
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Just FYI, ordering "blunt and some herbs" at the Burger King drive-thru could get your ass thrown into jail in Florida
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Protip: If you're going to make a career out of carjacking, learn how to drive a stick shift. Florida tag barely squeezes out dumbass tag
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The 10 creepiest abandoned water parks on Earth. (Warning : Slideshow, but worth it)
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| (Some Guy) |
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The ten most offensive beer labels in the world
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Man accused of shooting his brother at a farewell party. Well, bye
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Would it surprise you to learn that there is no actual Bennett composing those hilarious "Texts From Bennett"? I thought not
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It's the first anniversary of the greatest Fark holiday of all. Merry Biatchmas to all, and to all a good fight
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Xeni Jardin live-tweets her first mammogram, is diagnosed with cancer
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"Across the country the court systems and particularly the Bankruptcy Court in Minnesota, are composed of a bunch of ignoramus, bigoted Catholic beasts that carry the sword of the church"
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LA hit with "once in a generation windstorm". We knew Twilight sucked but damn
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When asked if his candidate would participate in the NewsMax debate moderated by Donald Trump, Huntsman's campaign adviser responded, "lol." Seriously
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Ultrasound of baby "Tebowing" is first time anything having to do with Tim Tebow was inside a woman
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Friday photo fun: Which crime did the time? Contest ends 6 p.m. EST
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Thirty antique coins turned in after plea from authorities following metal detecting weekend in England. Police would like to thank a Mr. J. Iscariot for his honesty
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Rembrandt painting identified by X-Ray analysis; self-portrait revealed to be underneath later work by unknown artist. Baby. That's just the way it is, baby
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Photoshop this artistically presented dancer
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I scream, you scream, we all scream along with the ice cream salesman who has the machete stuck in his head
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| (Some Guy) |
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In other news, Hillary Clinton gets groped in Myanmar
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Not only will apple juice kill you with arsenic, it will also make you fat. Fark's previous recommendation of substituting beer continues with additional oomph
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Vietnamese are famed for their skills in fishing with nets are now using that expertise to catch motorcycles
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South Carolina newspaper apologizes for dirty word, you sensitive prick bastards
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Trying to decide where to eat tonight? Check out "A Consumer Guide on the Working Conditions of American Restaurants." Once again, Five Guys beats out In-N-Out, and Olive Garden found yet another way to suck
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So apparently most of us don't know why we're here
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A visit to the Korean Demilitarized Zone, where military activity is prohibited, yet the air is so tense even the red-crowned cranes can't restrain themselves from an occasional arm wrestling match (6th photo)
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Biologists discover albino dolphin; from Hell's heart, stab at thee; for hate's sake, spit their last breath at thee
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FCC approves body-borne medical device networks. No word on who gets to assign I pee addresses
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| (Some server monkey) |
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Good news overworked, sleep-deprived IT workers Kay Hagan submitted a bill making it so you can't get overtime pay, thinks that money would be better spent on hookers and blow for the MBAs
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Ukrainian Protestors Go Topless to Protest Who Cares
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Russian PM Vladimir Putin to face pig named Nakh-Nakh in Parliamentary election
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Why blog for the Huffington Post for free when you can pay five grand for the privilege of fetching Arianna's coffee?
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| (Some Guy) |
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North Carolina man cannot collect damages from first responders who declared him dead, body bagged him and placed him in a refrigerator drawer
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Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine invented the sandwich wrap. No, seriously
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| (Cambridge News) |
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Runaway cat 'happy to be home' after 18-month vacation. Happy? Really? Check out the look on his face
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Armada of jellyfish seen floating towards Florida coast
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"We're seeing increasingly wholesale monitoring of entire populations with no suspicion of wrongdoing - the data is being monitored and stored in the hope that it might one day be useful." It's called the internet
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Sharp-kneed AW Who Stood On Corner In Bikini Reunited With Missing Dog
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The politics of economics in the Age of Shouting: "In the Internet age, anyone can be an expert, and anyone who says otherwise is an elitist"
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A Starship Troopers reboot is inbound. Would you like to know more?
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Ticketmaster to repay for profiting off of process fees, but will probably charge you a inconvenience charge in the process
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Science teacher "rewards" class for doing well by performing a chemistry experiment that involves flammable liquid and fire. How could this possibly go wrong?
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Adam Corolla give us his take on the "ass douches" involved in the OWS protests. It only gets better from there
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Napster officially finished. Lars Ulrich will crack the bubbly
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Woman on cocktail of prescription drugs plows through yard and injures man on riding mower (you'd hit it like you were pilled out behind the wheel mugshot)
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Law school students provided puppies for exam study break, allowed to cuddle, play and bond, then required to kill them with their bare hands and eat them
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Fark's Weird News Quiz. Come for the nudity, stay for the Florida
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Disney Pixar Films animatedly angry over Pixar oil pipelines
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You can break into my home and destroy my staircase railings, rip down my storm shutters, and punch holes in my walls, and I'm okay with that. But the minute you pour BBQ sauce on my floors, then it gets personal
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School bans Christmas cards. "In their effort to be PC, they've achieved the absurd"
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Pictures of 1940s NYC by some kid named Kubrick. You'd think he'd've had a future involving cameras, or film, or something
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Last call for Indy Fark Party tonight at Frontpage on Mass Avenue. Despite numerous requests, you may NOT bring your own moonshine
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Obama betrays his Muslim faith at White House Christmas tree lighting
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Public corruption is a very serious offense, so I'm sentencing you to 4 months of being home 18 hours a day
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Police would like you to please stop being such an ass and calling 911 for no reason
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"Forever 21" clothing chain under fire for selling replica of "Flipper" shirt Kurt Cobain drew and then wore on SNL in 1992
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Hot high school cheerleading coach fired because of her part time job. At Hooters. (w. pic of what hot cheer coach dressed as Hooters girl might look like.)
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Dear Ann Landers: How old do men have to be to quit having sex?
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Italy and Greece duke it out for the coveted "So Bad We Make American Politicians Look Honest" award
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If the Muppets auditioned for other movies. Statler and Waldorf in "X-Men" for the win
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"Like" Ric Romero's KABC-7 station on Facebook & $1 gets donated to their "Spark Of Love" toydrive for underprivileged kids. To the Romerocopter
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Before you stab your husband in rage because you discovered he belongs to an online dating service, first make sure it's not an old account he opened before meeting you
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The perfect fairytale wedding day just isn't complete without the groom deliberately setting fire to the reception venue and causing $10,000,000 in damages
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Let's build a beacon to tell aliens who we were. And don't forget to mention our soft, fleshy underbellies and delicious rib meat
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Headlines about fighting against capitalism, foreign wars, deadbeat fathers, strange lights in the sky and a cow that swallowed a snake: It's not Fark, it's England in 1811
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Canadian professor who hasn't lived in Italy for 28 years surprised when newspapers start reporting he's the country's new agriculture minister
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Cool: Telegraph obit of WWII vet with the usual giant clanking British steel balls. Bonus: "Leading his company in a dawn raid, he surprised the local mayor, who was sharing his bed with several attractive companions"
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Remember that study that showed elevated levels of bromides in tested water wells? It seems that the water testing lab forgot to carry the one or something
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Police say they've shut down a magic mushroom grow-op based on the cash, spores, mason jars, flying monkeys, talking grandfather clocks, giant bejeweled eels, answers to the Ancients' riddles, and cosmic waterfalls they confiscated
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Dear Fark, Thanks for the sweaters, signed NZ penguins
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Sjakxnjckjdsnacdkj xsuuhsxiushausx dcuhduduc w38w8789uDCJE*# #*)DR()FC djRID88LGN/DIT
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Saudi Arabian religious council says that allowing women drivers would be the end of virginity. I think they misunderstand the purpose of the stick shift
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| (Some Guy) |
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A page full of pictures of Victoria Secret models and what they'd look like... you've already stopped reading this haven't you? Won't you be surprised
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Police arrest 29 during a raid on a homeless shelter; take food, literature and first amendment away from occupiers
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Girl sues school because she sent naked pictures to another student and the obvious happened
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November unemployment rate dips to 8.6%, the lowest since 2009
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Record the police on your own property? 75 years in jail. Subsaharan Africa? China? Suprise, it's Illinois, where recording police is a Class 1 felony and carries the same sentence as rape
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Free speech has a three hour time limit in Texas. Dang, I know Texans that can talk about their pickup trucks for nine hours
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Do you remember the straw goat in Sweden which they decided to cover with with ice so that it would not burn this year? Better luck next year, or start searching for water that freezes in 1500F
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Study shows that swearing helps ease pain, especially if you are usually polite
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Black college student sparks debate by hanging Confederate flag in dorm room, says "I know it's kind of weird because I'm black"
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Family says man was killed by airplane food. Am I right, folks? Are you with me on this? 'Cause it's nuts these days, you know?
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DespErate ciTy pRoposes vOluntary tax on stupIdiTy. Guess which one
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Texts From Bennett & Pancake Rapper viral hits are the same guy. The Internet just accidentally it's memes all over itself
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Bankrobber: "This is a stick up" Everyone else: "This is a physiotherapists"
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Maine man arrested after pulling a gun in a dispute over Silly String
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You know you've found a special girlfriend if she parks her car in the intersection to have sex with you, refuses to put her clothes back on when the cops tell her to, and then pees on the sidewalk of the woman who called the cops on you
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| (Some Guy) |
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Beautify this desolate urban landscape
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$20,000 of donated toys stolen from childrens hospital. Suspect described as 4'6 green male with a heart 2 sizes too small, last seen sitting in the window seat on the train to hell
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Beating victim: I was attacked because I was gay. Police and bar owner: No, you were attacked because you were a drunk asshat
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Here in my car - I feel safest of all - I can lock all my doors - it's the only way to live in cars
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Never tap on the drivers window of a Brinks armored truck looking for a job
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"Really poor children in really poor neighborhoods have no habit of working, and they have no one around them who works" Guess which GOP candidate said it? Guess
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13-year-old student handcuffed and taken to juvenile detention for burping in class. Tactical flatulence response team on standby
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Remember when you could light up an e-cigarette anywhere you wanted?
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Coca-Cola: We're changing the cans to save the polar bears, Public: They look like Diet Coke and taste different CHANGE THEM BACK, Coca-Cola: Ummmm...fark it, change them back
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TSA detains 17 year old girl at Norfolk airport, over the design of her purse. It had a replica gun on it. TSA This is a federal offense because it's in the shape of a gun. Girl, It's not real
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| Thu December 01, 2011 |
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U.S. Marines given go-ahead to shoot at Segway riders
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Latinos demand investigation in death of border agent Brian Terry. Claim misinformation was used to get people all riled up about illegal immigration
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Man who lost arm gets dolphin tattooed on his stump. The Sun is there
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Cabbages & Condoms, and 8 other restaurants contributing to Bangkok's evolution from "pretty bizarre" to "Japanese"
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Need proof that credit unions care about you, unlike banks? For the past month, a credit union has been doing everything from anonymous paying for gas to vet bills as part of a "random acts of kindness" venture
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Being a gay Iranian immigrant in Canada is supposed to be easier than being gay in Iran, that is, if they had gays in Iran
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Photoshop this caning craft
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In addition to making you send unremembered, early morning, sexually charged emails to your boss, Ambien also can wake brain injury victims from a persistent vegetative state
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's Damn You Autocorrect's first year anniversary. Let's have a look at the top 25 entries
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10 Things We Didn't Learn From Enron Scandal. You can add these to the things we didn't learn all the scandals that came after. And to the ones that came before
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174 cars involved in massive pile up that stretches over 2 miles in Tennessee
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Woman's face catches fire: "There are between 550 and 650 surgical fires a year,"
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World's most competent attorney says his client, Jerry Sandusky, might plead guilty
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Man dies after falling from back of pickup while trying to hold down mattress. That's what happens when you get out of the wrong side of the bed
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Oldest Holocaust archive features gifts for under the National Socialist Christmas tree: Nazi Viewmasters, childrens' books on how to identify Jews like poisonous mushrooms, and the delightful "Juden Raus" board game
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Continuing yesterday's theme of robbery interuptus by handgun I give you the pizza delivery guy
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Top Gear host apologizes for saying striking public sector workers should be "executed in front of their families." Yes, of course it was Clarkson
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Man pleads guilty of using Acme product to trap bear. Did he catch anything? Yeah. A fine
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The world's biggest insect is so freaking huge it can eat a carrot. Sleep tight. Don't let the giant weta bite
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When designing a bikini lap dance contest, don't place flimsy lawn chairs on the edge of the stage, or else drunk college kids will fall over and be further humiliated...Okay, on second thought, do
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Yes, douchebags do sometimes make it past their 20s. This one almost didn't make it out of his 50s though
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It will only cost $85,000 to repair the parks used by Occupy Portland. That's some impressive job creation
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One woman, 15 children by 5 babydaddys, fiancée in jail and "somebody needs to pay for ALL my chilren"
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Obama: 'I'm going to need another term to finish the job'
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| (Northwestern) |
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Firefighters respond to call about a body floating in the lake, happy to find out it's just some dummy
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Photoshop this worn gear
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On this day in 1955, Rosa Parks told whitey to STFU
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Man is safe, no, satchel, sentiment, hmm, snackbar.. here it is, stabbed. He's stabbed at the library
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Median income continues to plummet in real terms. Eeeeeexcellent
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Ohio cracking down on lions, tigers, bears. Oh my
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Seventh grader gets sex toy as reward for a well written paper. Kudos kiddo
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| (Some Guy) |
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Subby just got his check from the eBay Final Value Fee class-action settlement. Tell Subby what to do with his check for 3 cents. LInk may be Not safe for work
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Jailed Amish beard cutters denied bail over fears they pose a buggy risk
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If you're going to get drunk and then ransack your ex-girlfriend's apartment remember two things: 1) Don't pass out in her apartment. 2) Make sure you have the right apartment
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Person in gorilla suit dumps sand in Little Caesars and runs away ... numerous times
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Former diplomat warns of 'sexpionage' traps during trips to China. Ploy alleged to be extremely sophisticated, diplomat was targeted five times in the last year. Also notes Grand Hyatt Beijing is discounting through May
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| (Frosty) |
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Pro tip : Had a little too much Holiday party? Shove an ice cube up your butt, of course
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nearly all of $40 million grant from Gates Foundation to improve teaching in Pittsburgh goes to administrators and consultants. All kids left behind
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Not news: Man tries to steal car. News: It's a police car. Near Fark: He's already inside the police car. Fark: He can't start it. Total Fark: He has the keys and calls the station for help
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Australian Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd said in an interview that he backed the creation of a trilateral security deal and that the response from the Indian government had been "positive." India: Uhhh WTF are you talking about?
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Science asks: Is it more dangerous to drive drunk or stoned? Subby's own near-exhaustive experimentation with Mario Kart indicate we should probably just have the damn pizza delivered
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Police officer and department office manager attempt to get rid of budget-slashing city official using Santerian birdseed ritual, are instead turned in by their accomplice the janitor. Can you guess the state without looking at the tag?
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Pretend you have robbed a business. Do you: A - Flee as fast as possible to avoid capture, B - Go to a hideout no one can find you at, C - Call the business to see if anyone got your license plate number using your own cell phone?
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College student who recognizes her friend, an attempted cop killer, in wanted poster does the obvious thing: "Freaks out" and tears down the posters
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Man says the only reason he burned his wife with a hot iron was because she put an unsolicited sex toy in his butt
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Apple apologizes for Siri's pro-life bias and promises that next version with work with coat-hanger attachment
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Nothing puts you into the holiday spirit more than bopping mom on the head with a bottle of eggnog
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French President Sarkozy says France and Germany must converge economically, possibly over a glass of Vichy water
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Ways to know a first date has gone wrong: 1. You fall asleep on her couch. 2. You wake up bleeding. 3. She's from a town called Bumpass
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Penn State University, trying to head off more embarrassment from this rape scandal, buys 4 .XXX domain names
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man chokes a fellow movie-goer for talking too much on his cell phone during the show
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Public library mad because homeless people are watching porn on the computers. Article does not disclose what the hell else libraries are good for
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Nightline, Ric Romero, investigate rampant meth labs in Kentucky
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BCS declares Germany winner of WWII
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Georgia cops break up bondage fetishists having sex in the woods. Cruel deputy punishes the couple by not putting them in handcuffs
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Facebook increases status update character limit to the average rant in a religion thread
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The Call of Cthulhu, by Dr. Seuss
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man deported four prior times shows up in South Carolina jail. OK Alex, I'll take "Immigration reform, my ass" for $200 please
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| (Buffalo.com) |
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Frat guys run 45 miles carrying Christmas tree -- but it's not "hazing"
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Here's an article about the careless use of the race card in the U.S. written by some pasty white bigoted racist
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"After careful consideration, I withdraw my statements comparing annexing farmland for power lines to killing millions of Ukrainians"
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For the first time in 40 years of Nielsen Research, the number of households with TV sets has dropped. Community was worse than we thought
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Copyright group accused of pirating its anti-piracy anthem. How arrronic
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The "Stonewall Jackson Prayer Tree" once feared lost has now been found. Still blind, still cannot see
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If you want a healthy brain, eat fish and don't play video games. Yeah, that sounds exciting
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Scallops stolen in burglary. Goddamn clamcakes still unaccounted for
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Refinery downgraded to rehorriblery after explosion
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Facebook COO says that Facebook was 'the first innovator in privacy'. No, really, she said that. Stop laughing
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So the Israeli government is happy to take American money, but American Jews aren't good enough to marry
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Hungary makes being hungry in Hungary a $600 fine
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It takes a German paper to state the obvious about the GOP presidential race
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"What are the odds of having two flying squirrels in the same emergency room?"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Economics professor asks 180 students to write an essay on the American dream. 8 of 10 expect someone else to pay for it. Welcome to Generation Gimme
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Sears offered $400 million to move their headquarters from Illinois to Ohio. Because when you think of failing retail industries, you think of Ohio
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Man rescues crash victim moments before a Michael Bay movie takes place
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♫ Here come those Santa Ana winds agaaaaain ♫
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Opera-singing dentist sues patient who complained about her on Yelp. WIth photo of what a dentist on the 69th floor of the Chrysler Building might look like
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Immigrants are now stealing American jobs that should belong to girls who are really just doing this to work their way through college and who want you to buy them a drink because they really, reallly like you
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29-year-old virgins seeking men. I guess if there are 20 of them, I'm in
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Cheery News: Brewery releases beer called 'Christmas Jumper'. Morbid Fark: Brewery based at UK's most notorious suicide cliff
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My dad was right: The safest vehicle for a teenager is a multi-ton land barge
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Good news, everybody: Black Friday proved that Americans have recovered from their temporary fear of credit cards and are once again charging like the True Patriots we've always known they are
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"Police said when they arrived, they found the alleged victim covered in grease and macaroni"
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Throw away an empty mayo jar? Oh yeah that's a beating
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Dominique Strauss-Kahn explains that, sure, he went to sex parties, but there usually weren't any prostitutes there
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| (Some Guy) |
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Let's talk about people who aren't in this thread
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Not news: Teen accidentally shoots his girlfriend. FARK: while he was pistol-whipping his mother
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Afghani rape victim, imprisoned for adultery, pardoned by Hamid Karzai after agreeing to marry her attacker. Yeah we really improved that country
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When asking a father's permission to marry his daughter, and the answer is no, do you: C) Go in with guns and spray acid all over the entire family?
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Bank van accidentally dumps cash on Pennsylvania highway. $100,000 goes up for grabs
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"You go down there and get him." "No, you go down there and get him"
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Ancient Mayan tablet does not say the world will end in 2012; properly decoded, it cryptically states "In the One Mile High City, the 15 Man will lead his fellow horsemen to victory in a Bowl That Is Super". Whatever that means
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| (Some Scrooge) |
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Lighted horses? Fine. Elves? Sure. Peacocks? Not so fast
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In the 1930s, everyone was worried about giant robots killing everyone
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Couple who graduated from the Acme School of Rodent Extermination create nearly $10,000 in damages trying to catch a rat they never found
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It's not truly the holidays without a Soft Tinsel Sausage Dog or Inflatable Santa in the Outhouse
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Famous Polish pilot dies. Tried to defend Warsaw, Paris and London against the Nazis. Third time was the charm
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Blakeney had previously admitted causing criminal damaging to an inflatable duck costume " Bonus: prosecutors name
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Roger Ebert announces At the Movies will go on hiatus at the end of December
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Experts wonder if Israel was behind those explosions at Iran's nuclear plants, if water is wet, if the sky is blue and if beer is spilled on Fark's servers every now and then
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Things you don't expect to inherit from your 90-year-old blue-collar father: 1. Billions of dollars. 2. An oil company. 3. A storage unit with his 1,000+ dildo collection (language Not safe for work)
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Photoshop these multiple worlds
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World's first chocolate theme park travels through China. Though it still lacks all-you-can-eat live chocolate puppies, it's nice to see Homer Simpson's greatest vision one step closer to being realized
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One consequence of the historic Alaska storm? $9-a-gallon gas in Nome
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The doctor calling you asking about your genitals might not be a real doctor
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It's all fun and games until your dog shoots you in the ass with a shotgun
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 343: "Dungeons & Dragons". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed November 30, 2011 |
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Remember back in the day when there were all those ads to help women GAIN weight? Me neither, but here is what they looked like. (Bonus: Not a slide show)
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From the "ran out of real news" department: Drunk man annoys women at nightclub
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| (Some Blow Your Own Horn Guy) |
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Photoshop this Venus single Bb french horn in bright gold lacquer
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It's all fun and games until Santa's beard gets caught in rappelling equipment and comes off in front of the kids
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| (Some Guy) |
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Why not mix it up this Christmas with a shotgun shell Mother Mary, a penguin Joseph, and a s'more baby Jesus?
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Remember the $1.2 million Bugatti Veyron that went swmming about a year ago because the owner swerved to miss a seagull? Yeah the insurance company has something to say about that 'accident'
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"And on your left, you have one of the most iconic buildings in all of New York, the Fark.com UFIA Building, formerly known as the Empire State Building"
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William Shatner fires a photon torpedo at Carrie Fisher
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Howard Stern can't believe CNN still books the guy who pranks anchormen by shouting "Baba Booey" after all these years
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You know you're hammered when they give you a DUI and you're just the passenger
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Declassified memo hinted of the 1941 Pearl Harbor attack by the Germans
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World's first sex school opens in Vienna. Subby applying for a need-based scholarship
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| (Some Master) |
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The reason there's no pristine digital restoration of "Manos: The Hands of Fate?" Because until now, no one has had a flawless workprint to use
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Billy Graham admitted to hospital, said to be resting crustily
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Scientists who created doomsday flu virus in lab and want to share their results in a research paper are worried about a media firestorm. Gee, ya think?
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Can 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' unite Israel and Palestinian leaders? Of course not, but the article features amusing clip from the show
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Sometimes you need a vacation from your murderous vacation
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President Obama has a secret iPad, which holds our top secret plan to take the Bay of Pigs with angry avian creatures
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Gingerbread AT-AT walker. May the force be with you this Christmas
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Republicans offer $100 reward for photo of Pennsylvania Senator with President Obama
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Smithsonian Museum of African American History acquires KKK robes, but has not said where they'll hang
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The top ten most shoplifted items this Christmas, brought to you by the Institute of Blindfolded Dart Throwing
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Ohio is redesigning their license plates. Let's help them design one that accurately depicts the state
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This just in: Apple and grape juice cause cancer. Consider using beer and wine as safe alternatives
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US Airways raises prices 600% when their competition drops out
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| (Techspot) |
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UN e-mail addresses hacked. They'd release a strongly-worded letter, except that's kind of the problem already
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"Marijuana was also discovered in the new tunnel and Mack said federal agents were up late Monday night weighing it." Yeah, weighing it. That's what they were doing
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Best Craigslist job opening ad ever, if you're a bodyguard/assassin with a hot twin sister
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| (Some Guy) |
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How to get away with not giving any gifts for the holidays
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The Penn State Scandal civil suits have begun. Good thing Paterno put his house in his wife's name over the summer
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Soldier getting robbed on a walk pulls out his own gun
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Syria hit with Turkey trade embargo which would have been more effective BEFORE Thanksgiving
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| (Some Guy) |
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Strange Lovecraftian restaurant opens in secretive town occupied by psychics... guess where
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| (Some Guy) |
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Burrito results in lock-down of prison. In 2005, in Clovis, NM, a burrito resulted in lock-down of a school. The burritos must be stopped
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"Communism is no longer a system in China. It's just a brand name that officials haven't figured out how to ditch"
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Guess which state has the worst redistricting maps in the country
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| (Myrtle Beach Sun News) |
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We have located Jabba the Hutt. She is beating her children with curtain rods (see photo)
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"Cain's innocent because he never harassed me, and I'm a stone cold hottie" With "Do not want" pic
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Le Mans race car at the center of disaster that killed 84 is set to sell at auction after being hidden away the past 42 years
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Looking back at our country's history, we can see that banning interracial marriages was a closed-minded practice back... oh, right now
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So what you are saying is that Pedo Bear works like the bat signal, the sword of omens, and promises of free beer
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Is it really hunting if the only way you can kill a deer is to intentionally run it over with a snowmobile?
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Legalizing medical marijuana leads to a 12% drop in alcohol related fatal car crashes
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A new Rasmussen poll finds 70% of American adults prefer stores that use signs with Merry Christmas over Happy Holidays
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Researchers find ravens are the only species other than apes who can 'point' and share objects like humans - and some members of Congress
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In anticipation of Israel's extremely imminent WWIII-initiating attack upon Iran, Britain has evacuated its embassy. Enjoy your holidays
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Opera-singing parrot missing in New York. Pagliacci want a cracker? (Sad tag for parrot, but owner wins Dumbass)
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| (Politiken) |
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Doctors: Okay, let's put the NATO Secretary General here to heal his broken arm. Patient: But what about me and my incurable cancer? Doctors: How about a nice windowless office?
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Finally, a solution to what I think you'll agree is one of history's greatest atrocities: those annoying stickers on fruit that NEVER PEEL OFF IN ONE PIECE NO MATTER HOW CAREFULLY YOU TRY
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A squirrel runs up your pant leg. Do you A) Strip your pants off as quickly as possible? B) Stop, drop, and roll? or C) Shoot at it with a .22 rifle?
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Kate Middleton is pregnant with a bloodthirsty Dracula Antichrist reptilian cannibal, if all the rumors in this slideshow are true
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Why do women fake orgasms? Long term study comes to a surprising climax
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Worst Christmas song of all time? Commenters debate Dominic the Donkey vs. I Want A Hippopotamus
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Were you planning that big family vacation to Chernobyl this year? I've got some bad news for you
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This is not what I was expecting with a headline about 'weed bombing'
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Good news, everybody. Now you can go hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt earning a college degree in how to play video games
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San Francisco's regulations on the sale of Happy Meals has actually led to an increase in sales
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What does a prosecutor do when the DNA evidence doesn't match the suspect? Does he: a) drop charges, b) apologize, or c) invoke the unindicted co-ejaculator theory?
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First there was porn-porn. Then there was food porn. Now the hottest new trend is property porn. "Scenes that capture explosive tempers and despair are property porn's money shots"
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