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Sun November 06, 2011
(Salon)
 
 
 
How mankind evolved into a race of deceitful liars. I question the veracity of this study
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Man trapped in train crash. Fark: A model train in his back garden
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Modern houses go up in flames faster. Sleep tight
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Man sideswipes a cop car at 1:49 AM, blows a .346 on the breathalyzer. As a bonus, he had three young children in the car with him
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man stabs woman multiple times over Halloween candy. He was *not* a jolly rancher
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this boy with a broom
source: latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
"They dragged me out of the car, threw me on the ground, and treated me like a criminal." That will tend to happen when you fall asleep in a stranger's pickup truck
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
One of New York City's best known graffiti vandals also had a side gig when he wasn't out spray-painting everything; he's a retired NYPD cop
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby just ate a McRib.Yes, we know they're made of cigarette butts and toxic waste and the sauce is made of unicorn blood and the tears of orphans and they cook it by lighting Lucifer's flatulence on fire. But darn it -- it's tasty
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Women forced to 'dumb down' to find a man to marry. You submitted this with a stupider headline
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
34-car crash may have been caused by nearby firework display, says Chief Constable Anthony Bangham. Claim backed up by Inspector Wwwwwwooooosh and Sergeant Ffffffsssshhhhh-BOOM
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snapped signal
source: latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Arrests of illegal immigrants down 43% on Arizona border, a significant drop that indicates the Arizona illegal immigration law is working
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Russia... (w/ WTF pics)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Hey Canada: When you wake up next spring, we'll have moved military equipment closer to the border. You need not worry about a thing. . . (snicker)
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Eight inches makes it tough to walk, though subby's never had a problem with it
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: Man dead, wife critically injured in Humptulips attack. Is Humptulips another way to say "Snoo Snoo"?
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Herman Cain states that he refuses to answer any more sexual harassment questions. Well that should do it
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman who had her first child at age 57 thanks to in vitro fertilization now realizes she made a huge mistake
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Some think the tail of the new Boeing 787 makes the ass look out of proportion with the rest of the jet (w/ gratuitous ass-shot photo)
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
High school student suspended three days for wearing eye shadow, told there will be no make-up
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Beware the "quadraboob." (With pics. And a short video. That's always fun)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Whale adoption urged as Christmas present. I'm going to need a bigger aquarium
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Fark cliches invade other forms of media
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Not ironic
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Six days without power, and people are starting to get pissed. For some damned reason AP thinks this is news
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No matter how hard you try you won't be able to achieve this level of badassery
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Five nerds charged in candy stealing spree. They thought they could make a fast break, but police are reserving a special dark place for them in jail
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSBW Monterey)
 
 
 
I'll *pop* kill you *pop* you bastard *pop*
source: ksbw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
140 years ago a stand-up comic bombed in Worcester. You may have heard of him
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Beatcalls)
 
 
 
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
source: beatcalls.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
UN atomic agency to reveal proof of Iranian nuclear warhead work. EVERYBODY PANIC IN A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USGS)
 
 
 
♪ ♫ "Oooooklahoma where the quakes come sweeping down the Plain" ♪ ♫
source: earthquake.usgs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
84-year-old man dies in hunting accident. You know, by catching fire and falling off the tree stand
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Elderly woman charged in connection with "purple drank" ring, bootleg Matlock DVD manufacturers
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
How rich is New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg? This year alone he spent $5.64 million on a personal public image campaign and he's not even running for office
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Woman rescued from burning house by a complete stranger who stumbled upon fire after taking a wrong turn
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
26-vehicle crash turns England into a Michael Bay movie
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Rescue workers save 45 Chinese miners from cave-in. YOU HERE THIRTY-SIX HOUR. YOU GO NOW
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Can't decide if you want a cocktail, beer, or champagne? These guys have just the thing for you
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat November 05, 2011
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Really cheap people recycle tea bags three times over. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Who throws a shoe at Pakistan president Pervez Musharraf? Honestly
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Inmate returns after being released early. There. That was easy
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun News)
 
 
 
Three prostitutes arrested, two of them were charging $250 and one only wanted a beer in exchange for sex. Guess which one wanted the beer (mugshots in link)
source: thesunnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this television tune in
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Study finds most people have a bunch of facebook friends but only two pals that are really close to you
source: vitals.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Not news: Underground fire in an old abandoned mine proves difficult to extinguish Holy Fark: It's been burning for 70 years
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby gorilla celebrates 1st birthday at Franklin Park Zoo
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
22-year-old man arrested for taking thousands of upskirt photos. It's a real shame, too, the guy's a crack photographer
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pint-sized percher
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Where's Waldo? Grabbing a bartender by the genitals and kicking him in the groin, that's where
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oakland Police put another Vet into intensive care
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Roanoke Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Salem High School marching band flawlessly executes halftime show with artistry and precision. Fark: with an escaped, mostly-nekkid Noid of some kind running amuck among them carrying a stolen flag
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTLA Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Before you try to rob the store make sure there aren't any martial arts experts right behind you
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Why wearing a cape won't make you a badass. Ah Ah Ah
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Ain't no party like a North College Hill party 'cause a North College Hill party don't stop until a woman attacks her boyfriend and the host with a beer stein
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Why daylight savings time should be abolished: It cuts into my drinking time
source: blogs.scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
Loudoun County Republicans: "Thank a Soviet veteran, because the Democrats won't." Wait, what?
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AsiaOne)
 
 
 
South Korean school teaches eight-year-old girls the art of being a bride-to-be. TLC seen rapidly trying to develop it into a reality show
source: asiaone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wpsd)
 
 
 
Today's cute high school Spanish teacher arrested for sexual contact with student is brought to you by Graves County, Kentucky
source: wpsdlocal6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
The key to stealing items to sell for scrap metal is to remain inconspicuous. Stealing a parade float does not fit this criteria
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bountiful display
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foreign Policy)
 
 
 
Most people don't ride their motorcycle through Western Syria in the middle of an uprising. But most people aren't this dude
source: foreignpolicy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
NewsFlash
 
You know what I really hate? Dying
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
And you thought Rod Stewart and Barry Manilow were fossils
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Two tiny leopard kittens, who were rescued after being abandoned by their mother during the flooding in Cambodia, have made a full recovery just in time for Caturday
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Paper covers rock. Rock breaks scissors. Scissors stab neck
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Gay penguins. Consider that in your mind for a few moments...Gay. Penguins. Is it the Apocalypse? No, but it's close
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
A beehive for hipsters. "It kind of looks like something that Lt. Ellen Ripley would have set fire to with a blow torch"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Seven year old girl forced to work as nightclub dancer to support her disabled parents
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
If there's a bad place for your boat to capsize, it's I-95
source: ctpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
After recent privacy breaches, UCLA Medical Center tightened security. Except for a doctor taking home all the patient data. But don't worry, it was on an encrypted hard drive. With the password written on a piece of paper right next to it
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Remember that restaurant that banned kids? Out of business. Just kidding. Business is up twenty percent
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PBS)
 
 
 
Army general calls for changing name of PTSD to PTSI. What's in a name? That which we call a disorder by any other name would feel as horrible
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Since there were no unattended packages to freak out over, emergency units rush to the scene of a popping light bulb
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Teens suspended for hugging at school. Baseball and football coaches still allowed "good hustle" pats of encouragement
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
East Coast reporter takes advantage of offer to ship two In-N-Out burgers to anywhere in the U.S. overnight, finds out the food isn't worth the $56 he spent. "Reheat and consume at your own risk"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
While most countries store their nuclear weapons in a well-fortified bunker, Pakistan stores their nuclear weapons in a van down by the river
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri November 04, 2011
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Dumbest man on planet to fly lawnchair over Baghdad, lifted by hundreds of balloons. I guess that's one way to get in some target practice
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
What would you do for an ice cream bar?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
People, for the last time: Portable gas-powered generators are for EXTERNAL USE ONLY
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this five-pound burger
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
USDA: We should make school lunches healthier, How about less french fries, pizza and salt. US Congress: Whoa there, Slim Goodbody
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Why are 2,000 hikers trapped near Mount Everest? Because it's there
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Don't look so surprised. It's just this week's Mugshot Roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Plumber finds $40,000 in air duct, and returns the entire $20,000
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
College students rely on Yahoo Answers for research, which explains why so many term papers address "How is babby formed?"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports Illustrated)
 
 
 
Less than a week after throwing out the first ball at Game 7 of the World Series, former Cardinal great Bob Forsch dies at age 61
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Big 1059)
 
 
 
"And the winner of the $2 million lottery is... Barry, the sports anchor. Barry?"
source: pnyr.big1059.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Remember, remember, the high-budget Hollywood production loosely related to an event that the British government used to keep its population in line
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Wounded elephant gets prosthetic foot and is walking again. Includes video of ugly ass elephant gimp
source: worldblog.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
MSW pretends to be MD for at least eight years, ordering treatments and testifying for a county court the whole time
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
When cops find missing man, he was so cold that he could no longer walk. So they cite him for trespassing because he collapsed on private property
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Say it with numbers
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"He is believed to have dug up the remains of young women at various cemeteries and put dresses on them"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Bad idea: hiring actors to play "Taliban" giving up their arms, to impress the U.S. ambassador. Fark: forgetting to tell U.S. security
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WUSA9)
 
 
 
"Very powerful" unknown force crushes a whole block full of cars in Washington DC. Nobody heard anything and the police don't know anything about it
source: wusa9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Police release graphic, bloody photo of dead teen from before she was attacked
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Everything went downhill when she asked the cop to arrest her mailbox
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Man who stole checks at interview doesn't get the job, but does get 3-6 years in prison
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
MF Global CEO hires criminal defense attorney because of all those pesky unnecessary criminal laws. He just needs government off of his back
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
People still like looking at their clocks in public
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Syracuse Post-Standard)
 
 
 
Every cop in New York State responds to truck crash on I-81
source: syracuse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
"We care about this [roidraging crackhead]" That's why we tazed him to death
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cruise ship docks with two dead passengers. Rule 34 shows up in the strangest places
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Bill Gates to spend $1 million to have an astrophysicist develop a mosquito barrier made out of frickin' laser beams
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Yay: Unemployment rate dropped in October. Meh: to 9.0%
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Local)
 
 
 
"Let's play Cowboys and Iranians" poster at restaurant causing a bit of a stir
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Team Coco)
 
Video
 
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog visits OWS, with predictable results
source: teamcoco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Before and after meth addi...er, jogger pictures
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Car crashes into an auto repair shop
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBT Mishawaka)
 
 
 
South Bend was occupied. Until it wasn't. Nobody wants to sleep outside in South Bend
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Your drunken rants on Facebook may soon start showing up in Google searches for all to mock
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
"The steak, sir. Very good sir. And how would sir like his cow killed? Traditional slaughterhouse or surprise attack, sir?"
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scientific American)
 
 
 
Meet Allison, creator of the Jenny McCarthy Is An Ignorant Biatch foundation
source: scientificamerican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Friday Fun Photo Match Game: Match mugshot to weapon of choice (macaroni, golf club, bullwhip, candle, or onion)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's Friday, so it's time for this week's episode of the Fark Weird News Quiz to make you feel bad about yourself
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Disgruntled customer fills bank tube with urine, forgets deposit slip
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Like three of those useless fat red birds, a trio of burglars tries and fails to break into Apple store
source: alpharetta.11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
An engaged couple, expecting their first child, have found out they are actually brother and sister. Relax West Virginia...not this time
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Authorities match up sex offender's ankle monitor GPS coordinates and the location of three reports of indecent exposure, consider also charging him with assault for giving his lawyer a migrane
source: cbsatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The one percent has its own 99 percent
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Awesome Robo)
 
 
 
Norway's claim to fame: Bronze statues of men fighting babies (warning: some nudity--mostly penises)
source: awesome-robo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Panama City News Herald)
 
 
 
If the cops are going to raid a strip joint, you would think they would have the man-to-man courtesy and let a customer finish getting his lap dance before breaking down the door
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Judge that savagely beat his daughter says she's trying to get back at her for taking away her Mercedes. Oh, and the District Attorney refuses to prosecute him
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
15% of Americans hate Jews. Other 85% afraid of upsetting their masters
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
High school geology field trip suddenly turns into very real Hamlet graveyard soliloquy lesson
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Russian officials are about to open up the hatch to a windowless cell that's been sealed for 520-days as part of a simulaton to Mars. How much you wanna bet all they find the crew all dead and a slug-like alien crawling around inside?
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Texas Man: I'll go forward with OpCartel. I'm a member of Anon. Followup story on Texas man's brutal murder in 3.... 2.... 1
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
When surveyed, 10% of respondents admit when changing between Standard Time and Daylight Savings Time, they turn clocks the wrong way
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
That's weird. My seizure medicine doesn't look the same as it usually does. Do you think it's jqnlwjkt1e;hqbine2 qawuhnqi82wbqnjf
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Hard boiled detectives scramble to crack the case of who egged a neighborhood. There are a dozen suspects
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Skinny is the newest buzz word, which is good cause I had never heard it before
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
It's one thing to stab a 14-year-old to death while robbing her house, but you get a special seat in hell for taunting her family with texts from her cell phone
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Obama tops Forbes' list of world's most powerful people, narrowly edging out Ryan Seacrest
source: content.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
If you can't throw a naked prostitute out of your hotel window while arguing over the price of sex any more - what in the hell can you do?
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
TSA screeners say they usually find four or five guns in airport luggage on a typical day, Cincinnati Bengals road game
source: articles.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
I've always been afraid of clowns. Here is the reason why. Oh, and it's a gun-toting clown for extra-scary goodness
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this classic spark plug ad
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The National Restaurant Association hasn't realized that NRA belongs to another, even more gun-happy fringe group. This and other abbreviations that are shared by two very different groups
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
"Man tries to pay old traffic ticket in pennies". If you've been on Fark for more than a week, you know why it's "tries" and not "succeeds"
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Wife suspects her husband of cheating, so she drives to his workplace and finds him talking to a strange woman. Then she punches him in the face, tears off his shirt, hits him with a rubber hose, and runs him down with her car
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMUR New Hampshire)
 
 
 
Secret Service: Watch Out For 'Black Money' Scam. Also, Mr. Rogers wasn't a Marine sniper. And that email from Nigeria? Yeah. Delete that
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Wife of bankrupt megachurch founder asks congregants to drop off food--not at her house but at the church, where the limo driver will pick it up
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Atheist Ten Commandments
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Why cheating turns us on
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
French satirical magazine goes where South Park feared to tread, proudly announces the Prophet Muhammad would be editor-in-chief of this week's issue. Molotovarity ensues
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian politician tells joke about calling a suicide hotline whose call center was in Pakistan, saying they asked him if he could drive a truck. Apparently, some people have a problem with this
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away a Star Wars fan killed his smoking hot Asian wife for smashing up his toy collection
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
More family photos with pets. With lots of 'awkward' for future trauma, embarrassment, and FUN
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu November 03, 2011
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Juan Moore Man Avoids Jail by Faking Illegal Immigrant Status
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
News: Mother forgets son at Chuck-E-Cheese. Fark: Man finds kid walking eight miles from his home, and returns him. Ultra Fark: Man is city mayor
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nation)
 
 
 
Okay, sympathetic to OWS or not, can we agree that quitting a job and borrowing $35k to get an MFA in puppetry at UConn was a bad career move?
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Artist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this standing art
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Her husband secretly fed her steroids to 'fatten her up' and make her stay at home. When she found out about it, in her HULK fueled rage, she beat him into a pulp
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Heavy October rains raise the dead. We all float down here
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Cops turn to Facebook to bust a machete-wielding madman who attacked two in a chicken shack
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Twin Rivers police stops selling T-shirt showing child behind bars along with "U Raise 'Em, We Cage 'Em" text. Subby is offended: "tase" would have been a much better rhyme than "cage"
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
It's easy to make jokes about English food, but it turns out it's not so bad after all. Well, not compared to Scottish and Welsh food anyway
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
It's never a good idea to use your Facebook status update to threaten blow up the police department, but it's an especially bad idea if you also collect child pornography
source: mobile.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Overzealous Cleaner)
 
 
 
Cleaning tip: Before cleaning up a puddle on a museum floor, make sure it isn't a $1.1 million art installation
source: acn.liveauctioneers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this McFlood
source: cdn.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Riot police: "What's the matter, Kiev protesters? CHICKEN?"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTNow)
 
 
 
92-year-old veteran stands at attention and addresses the Snowpocalypse power crisis: "All I'm saying is the system is wrong. They should have a priority list. There are people out there worse than me"
source: ctnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
"Did you steal a cell phone?" "No." *rrrrring* "Yes"
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLSAM)
 
 
 
Listeria outbreak in cantaloupes has become the greatest American melon tragedy since Gallagher
source: wlsam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Cliff near Wisconsin power plant collapses, depositing frothy slurry of coal ash--a hearty blend of selenium, lead, mercury and arsenic--into the cool blue waters of Lake Michigan. Drink up, folks
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
You should freeze your jeans because of global warming. Wait, what?
source: 610wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Hey, wait a minute, this is clearly an iPab
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Not news: Unhappy with wedding pictures, man sues photographer. News: Six years later. Fark.com: He wants to recreate the images 6 years later, after he's already divorced, and after his wife has moved to Latvia
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
World's first 'halal whisky' made without alcohol goes on sale in time for party season. To halal with that
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Five backup plans that would have changed modern history
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
Fourth rattlesnake found in university building. Administration officials hope to scale back snake enrollment
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CF News 13)
 
 
 
Ex-Daytona Beach commissioner sues over bathroom sex sting. He doesn't have a very wide stance to operate from
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Ladies and gentlemen of Fark, I present the Ketchup Fountain
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Justin Beiber on Twitter: "I did not lose my virginity to a random 20-year-old fan and get her pregnant after a 30 second sex romp backstage." Justin Beiber to girl's lawyer: "I plead the fifth"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tandar Monkeys are this year's Furbies, only creepier. Yes, they're creepier than Furbies
source: entertainmentearth.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Amtrak increases age for unaccompanied minors from 8 to 13. Tests confirm it was too difficult for 8 year-olds to climb out of a train when it is on fire and lying on its side
source: overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
New study reveals that if your wife doesn't take your last name after marrying you, it's not because she's a feminist. She just doesn't like your last name
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Dammit Tebow, stop being such a good sport
source: espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
The Dow could reach 100,000 in 20 years, according to an author that just discovered crack cocaine, angel dust, and probably some peyote thrown in for good measure
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Vietnam vet shows would-be robber of liquor store what happens when you bring a knife to a gun fight. Fark: the vet's pet parrot was on his shoulder the entire time
source: perryhall.patch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Pharmacies report shortage of Adderall. You submitted this with a better-HEY LOOK A BUNNY
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Just because they weren't pissed enough already, "Mercedes hits 2 Occupy Oakland protesters." That is going to RUIN the paint job
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
What do ancient penis decorations say about us? So glad you asked
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Facing outrage over $360,000 pay to run housing project for families making $20,000, director resigns to collect $278,842 pension
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
No seriously, I was just talking into my sunglasses case. I'm, um crazy
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kickstarter)
 
 
 
Old-school Farker is launching a Kickstarter campaign for a new game. Come check it out; if you like it you could help a fellow Farker out
source: kickstarter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
What Occupy Wall Street can learn from The Great Rail Strike of 1877. Hopefully, it involves better grooming and body care
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Researchers find the wider the range of bacteria babies are exposed to, the less likely they will develop allergies -- suggest diets supplemented with dirt
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS New York)
 
 
 
New GPS device alerts domestic violence victims that it's time to start making some damn sandwiches again
source: newyork.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bay Citizen)
 
 
 
"The protest is good. The economy is bad for everyone. And I have ladies on my truck" Isn't it great seeing protestors and longshoremen getting along?
source: baycitizen.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
66% opposed forgiveness of student loans. Slideshow goodness of students and the cost of majoring in holistic interpretive dance
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WOWT Omaha)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Man Bites Man, Gunfire Follows"
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Stores take early merchandising of Christmas to the next level with the rolling out of belated Xmas cards just after Halloween
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life.com)
 
 
 
You know who else was the target of a voodoo ritual in a lonely cabin in the Maryland woods in 1941?
source: life.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Hello. Onstar? Yeah, my stabby guy hiding in the back seat just deployed
source: wtae.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
School cancels Remembrance Day events because the Veterans attending have been bringing along non-functioning replicas of the guns they used to fight for the freedom to cancel Remembrance Day activities
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop the Queen holding a football
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
If PETA doesn't stand up for the mullet, who will?
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Remember when the TSA rolled out those nude x-ray machines and glossed over cancer concerns? Yeah, about that
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Four Georgia senior citizens arrested for plotting to attack Americans with a bio-weapon, wearing unlicensed onions on their belts
source: tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Condi Rice says Gadhafi's crush on her was "weird and a bit creepy." So that's one thing you have in common with a deceased African dictator
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duluth News Tribune)
 
 
 
Laid-off park ranger goes for run in park, finds missing two-year-old
source: duluthnewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
Remember Greece, when Griff asks you if you are in or out TELL HIM YOU ARE OUT
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Greek PM resignation imminent. The pic says it all
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The 10 colleges that will help on the way to alcoholism quicker
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Surfer in trouble for "riding" a deep-sea turtle. With pic goodness
source: blog.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Pop quiz: If a photo on Facebook shows 12 hunters posing with 64 blue-winged teal ducks, but the limit is four teal ducks per hunter, how many days in jail are they looking at?
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Colgate's electric toothbrush is the bomb
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Five trapped in secret 500 foot border tunnel filled with raw sewage because of US border fence. Ain't that the sh*t
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tri-State Neighbor)
 
 
 
Disturbingly popular trend in China has couples wearing matching outfits wherever they go. As if China hasn't already manufactured enough products that make you sick
source: cnngo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man leads Canadian cops in five-hour pursuit where "neither the truck driver nor police broke highway speed limits"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sorry. Cannot complete transaction. Current balance on your account is SNAKE
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Heartland Connection)
 
 
 
83-year-old man arrested for prostitution. With awesomely smug "yes, I can" mug shot
source: heartlandconnection.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Nine hungry goats climb tree. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 339: "State Fair". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed November 02, 2011
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Parents went to their child's school to discuss a fight, wind up getting into a fight (w/mugshot that will leave no doubts in your mind)
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Norway beats up Disneyland to retain title as the happiest place on earth
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Everybody wants to rule the world. This man could actually do it, though
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this geometric chair
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Teachers' advice to end bullying problem: "Act less gay"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
City of Compton finds itself in full financial meltdown -- despite being solidly in the black only a few short years ago
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Who's Australia gonna call? CULTBUSTERS
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Jack the Ripper was my great-great-great-great uncle, and this was his knife
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Caller)
 
 
 
Building 7, Truthers 0
source: thedc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Woman sets fire to another woman's house because "she ended their friendship on Facebook"
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS Miami)
 
 
 
Slightly used plane available in 1/2-off sale
source: miami.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman accused of killing pregnant woman, fetus pleads insanity. You would too, if you were kept in solitary for nine months
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Cupcakes are just as addictive as cocaine, just as fun to eat off a stripper's ass
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
L.A. is raising its barking dog fine to $250. This could get very expensive for Britney Spears during her next concert
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Fark ready headline: "Teen robbed of meatball sub at gunpoint"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Phoenix New Times)
 
 
 
Poop transplant could save Arizona man's life...as if he doesn't get enough shiat from his wife
source: blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Man tricks his girlfriend into believing he'd been kidnapped by men in skeleton masks on Halloween, gets treated to jail cell and multiple criminal charges for tampering with evidence and drug possession
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCYB News 5)
 
 
 
Tractor-trailer accident protects highway from the gum disease gingivitis
source: wcyb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
"Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, Eat Your Heart , Chop Off Your Hands, Hide the Body, Very Bad Day." by Charles Kembo
source: aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
You know you've got a true friend if he's willing to commit robbery to pay for your bail
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man stops for "free birdseed," with expected results
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SC Now)
 
 
 
Were you not molested by a teacher when you were in school and feel bad about it now? Well, there's always Hope
source: www2.scnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Thought you could go at least one week without a birthday shooting. You thought wrong
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Food Truck Fiesta begins today, followed shortly by the 5K dash to the bathroom, and in the evening the Toss Your Cookies cotillion will be in full swing
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vegas Inc)
 
 
 
Patent troll now getting to try life as a real troll by living under a bridge
source: vegasinc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Romanian cabinet minister poses in PVC dress for magazine cover
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courier-Journal)
 
 
 
Controversial breast cancer awareness display of bras burned down in Kabul. Wait, did I say Kabul? I meant to say Bowling Green
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Everett Herald)
 
 
 
You can only stab so many defense lawyers before the judge stops giving you new ones
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Liberace Squirrel caught on camera thanks to woman with too much time on her hands
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
German automaker approves Third Peich term, all abhorred by Amtrak flasher, and bipolar man sought between Arctic and Antarctic: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/23 - 10/29
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
Texas judge sentences disabled teen to harsh punishment for file sharing
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Impossible puzzles
source: catmacros.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
St. Thomas Aquinas high school suspends four for marijuana abuse. This sort of thing would be allowed at St. Malachi's or St. Augustine's
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Union)
 
 
 
"OnStar, how may I help you?" "I've just been in an accident and police are chasing me." "Sir, I've been giving the police directions so they can find you. You should pull over"
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCNC Charlotte)
 
 
 
Not News: Peeping tom caught in the act. News: All occupants of victims' house give chase. Fark: Victims are town council members holding an illegal meeting
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Here's something else to add to your list of things to worry about: exploding reefers
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Guy pleads no contest to drugging, raping, and shaving his drinking buddy's entire body completely hairless. No contest? Isn't that how beer pong is supposed to end?
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Too pulse to is for
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Holy flat tire
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
The 32 wittiest comebacks of all time. YOUR MOM HAD A WITTY COMEBACK
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Adding to the pain of the busted Georgia couple who gave their late dog LSD: Their mug shots are now on TSG
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Guess the most popular video game in history (HINT: It doens't have the words Tetris, Gran, Duty, Wii, Halo, Zelda, Theft, War, Mario, Sims or Pokemon in its title)
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Apparently telling customers that a rival car dealer is an Islamic militant who used the profits from his dealership to fund terrorists crosses the line from "agressive salesmanship" to "a $7.5 million libel judgement"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Oakland Police's near-fatal wounding of Scott Olsen opened the floodgates of veterans coming out to support OWS, send conservatives scrambling for ways to smear soldiers
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kennebec Journal)
 
 
 
Burglar named Pilsbury tries to extort dough. Boy, what a crook. May have a good prison nickname, though
source: kjonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Wear a condom or you may end up f**king a polar bear
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
20 boxes of frozen pigs feet taken in train heist. Investigation now on track, going full boar
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Augusta Chronicle)
 
 
 
Nobody better lay a finger on my Butterfinger...or I'll bust a cap in your ass
source: chronicle.augusta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Correction: Yesterday's edition of the New York Post reported that Gov. Cuomo gave raises to his staff after he came into office, when, in fact, he reduced his salary and the pay of his top aides by five percent. Sorry we got caught lying
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Old school: Having sex in coed dorms. New school: Having sex on a picnic table at the federal courthouse
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
French refuse to occupy Paris. It's like the Germans have to do everything for them
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New rules slashing crack cocaine sentences go into effect. Put *that* in your pipe and smoke it
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Investigation continues into how rockfall left 15 mobile homes teetering on the edge of a cliff in south Wales, although initial findings indicate that rockfall was to blame
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Evansville Courier Press)
 
 
 
Not news: Man in Halloween mask scares girlfriend. Still not news: her dog attacks him: Still not news: he understands the dog reacted normally. Fark: he wants dog put down
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
OSS operative sent letter to three-year-old son in America on VE day, written on Hitler's stationery. Subby's old man didn't even get him a Euro Disney t-shirt
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
"Look at my man-gina." Why yes, there absolutely is a corresponding mug shot
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Japan: "Damaged reactors could take 30 years to retire" Americans: "That whole mess is still going on? Sheesh, we're a little pre-occupied over here with the Kardashian melt-down, okay? Try to keep up
source: articles.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life.com)
 
 
 
65 years ago today Howard Hughes flies his "Spruce Goose," with the largest wingspan in the history of aviation, for roughly a mile over Long Beach Harbor, celebrates by peeing into commemorative platinum milk bottle
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(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. But they draw the line at bumpy roads
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(Fox News)
 
 
 
OWS movement now has 21 new members, each fired because the cafe that employed them could no longer support itself due to lost business caused by the OWS protests
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
WARNING: Occupy Wall Street may cause a burning, itching sensation
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(Some Tyler Durden)
 
 
 
Bad: Using your work PC to view porn. Even Worse: Not realizing it's plugged into the LED billboard display at the busiest intersection in town
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(NYPost)
 
 
 
Little Mary refuses to eat her milk and cookies or take naps at nap time. Do you: c) suspend the five-year-old punk from kindergarten?
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(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Man in superhero costume arrested for motorway incident. Unclear whether it was suicide attempt or Kryptonite-related flight failure
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(LA Times Photos)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fabulous four
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(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Court ruling confirms that England can leak Assange to Sweden
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Doctors warn that sharing earbud headphones may lead to hearing loss, transmission of bacteria, getting hit by bus
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Casey Anthony takes the fifth 60 times, presumably due to the Casey Anthony Court TV Drinking game
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
♬ It's hard to find a, thing called vagina ♬
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
R.I.P. to 14 cars and trucks for 2012
source: autos.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Safeway drops charges against couple accused of stealing two sandwiches
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(KATU)
 
 
 
Grocery store refuses payment in coins. That's change we can't believe in
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
A mother passed a driving test while in labor and then drove herself to the hospital to give birth. Wow. Just wow... a woman passed a driving test? Unbelievable
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Government report states future violent gang members can be spotted at age three
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue November 01, 2011
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Toyota unveils robots to assist the elderly. Available at no cost to Old Glory policy holders
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Leg found to be armed
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
Old people today have more sex. Hey, come back, don't you want the rest of your grilled cheese sandwich?
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some forever alone guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop some guests to liven up Kirk Cameron's pitiful birthday party
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(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Kentucky gubernatorial candidate tries desperately to make an issue out of his opponent participating in a Hindu ceremony. Why, yes, he IS a Republican. How did you know?
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(BBC)
 
 
 
Glowing brain tumour trial begins. Prosecutors vow to remove this cancer, and will ask for life
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
'Beauty, whether moral or natural, is felt, more properly than perceived' - Philosopher David Hume. ' 'I'm gonna bone my 15 year old hot student' - High School Track Coach Elisha Hume
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(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Learn the Secret, Surefire Way to Get the Phone Numbers of Hot Women You Meet on the Street
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(MassLive)
 
 
 
Western Massachusetts residents still without electricity, Lady Schicks. Supplies of granola and Ani DiFranco CDs needed urgently
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(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Today's fully Fark-compliant headline: "Man admits switchblade assault in squirrel dispute"
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(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Late Friday night, four young women are waiting in a parking garage. One notices another's miniskirt is so short, her buttocks are showing. She reaches over and pulls the skirt down. And then things get oral
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman claims picture shows two ghosts having spirited sex in her living room
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(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Man experiencing chest pains decides to try to remove his own pacemaker, with predictable success rate
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Calling 911 because you're lost in a maze or in an orchard. New and glorious: Being trapped in a shopping cart
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Drunken Wrestling: Don't try this at home -- or the office
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
For the right price, you can get into the Queen of England's pants
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KIRO TV)
 
 
 
Victim in DUI crash with Seattle Police Officer amazed he's still alive, glad officer was too drunk to find his gun
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(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Students in Libtard-Land Massachusetts lead US in reading, math. Socialism suspected
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
So turns out Newscorp and everyone involved with the News of the World hacking mess were aware of what was going on about 3 years before it was blown open
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(610 WIOD)
 
 
 
Mani, Pedi, HepC
source: 610wiod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wet Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bumbershoots
source: garciamedialife.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Cracked explains the Politics tab
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Snuggie inspires inventors to find next shame-inspiring sensation
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(WPBF West Palm Beach)
 
 
 
"My milk snake brings all the boys to the yard ... " (with picture)
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(WWL)
 
 
 
Halloween in New Orleans: "Trick or Treat" BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM
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(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Dog dies after alerting owner and saving him from house fire. With pics that make it awfully dusty in here
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(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Chinese officials deny hacking US satellites, tampering with Coca-Cola cans
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(BBC)
 
 
 
Cocklers barred from estuary. Subby feels their pain, as he's been barred from being near schools for something like that
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Nine-year-old girl who was told to stop eating candy on the school bus does the logical thing: spits at the driver, throws rocks at the bus, and then tosses a chair at a cop
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Berlin museum mixes haute couture with haute cuisine, spotlighting models draped in octopus tunics, seaweed miniskirts and Salmon tops. And you thought it was just the Japanese that were into that erotic sea creature stuff
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(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The Dominique Strauss-Kahn sex scandal is being given the porno treatment. Naturally, some people have a problem with this
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(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Apparently the test for sorcery in Saudi Arabia is beheading. If you live, you are innocent. If not, then you weigh more than very small rocks
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(WSLS Virginia)
 
 
 
Horse rescued from Bedford swimming pool. In Pottersville they just let them drown
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(WFAA Fort Worth)
 
 
 
Pricipal . Caught sayof school that has stoped Handstandsing " See, told ya so" Is He dead or not. CNN Says yes. Tampa Bay Times Looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for answer again"
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(AZCentral)
 
 
 
For Halloween, did you hand out: A) Chocolates? B) Candies? C) Comic book-style pamphlets about fearing God in which three children die, one by hanging himself?
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(Mercury News)
 
 
 
3 cops, 1 pole
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Asylum seekers drown near Java. C, that's why you make sure your boat is fully compiled
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(UPI)
 
 
 
IU's Kinsey institute finds that grandma's sexual satisfaction is not tied to her birth control. Grandma.... sexual... satisfaction. How's your breakfast, Farkers?
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(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Congress finally realizes that repealing Glass Steagle was the stupidest thing they've done in the past 15 years
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(Yahoo)
 
 
 
No one knows who they were or what they were doing, but their legacy remains and you can buy it for $300,000
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(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Magician demands AirTran make $50,000 appear because the wouldn't let him carry his dove on the aircraft
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(Naples Daily News)
 
 
 
Definition of doing it wrong: beating your girlfriend for playing with a sex toy in bed because you'd rather sleep
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(LA Times)
 
 
 
Ad: "For the last week in October, the Magic Castle will be ON FIRE with the spirit of Halloween" Fark: Magic Castle is ON FIRE with real flames on Halloween day
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(Fox News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Boeing 767 crash lands in Warsaw, Poland with no injuries. Survivors will be buried later this afternoon
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(USA Today)
 
 
 
Good news, consumers. Banks have heard your outrage over the utterly transparent debit card fees, so they're going to roll those on back and replace them with far more subtle fees instead
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(SF Examiner)
 
 
 
The Oakland Information Ministry is happy to report that whoever fired the tear gas cannister at the now critically injured former Marine, it was almost certainly not the police
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(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Jon Huntsman's three smoking daughters parody Cain's smoking ad. It's a video, so you might as well read the rest of this but yes, he has THREE hot daughters (even with mustaches)
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(AL.com)
 
 
 
Japanese used panty vending machine technology surpassed by American fresh meat vending machine. Your dog wants slot B6
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(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Japan lawmaker drinks water from Fukushima plant, gives glowing review
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(BBC)
 
 
 
Greek president: "Let the people decide." European markets: "F*ck that"
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(Pravda)
 
 
 
Two Russian girls switched at birth to live next door to each other without exchanging parents
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(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this end of a cargo ship
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(CNN)
 
 
 
Forget orange juice futures, peanut butter is SKYROCKETING
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(WTOP)
 
 
 
GOP light-heartedly depicts the President with a bullet hole in his forehead
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(NPR)
 
 
 
Florida: "Due to your parents being illegal immigrants, we're going to have to charge you out-of-state tuition." Student: "But I was born in the US and I live in Florida." Florida: "So?"
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(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Sheriff: Time for Citizens to Arm Themselves, People are tired of doing the right thing and criminals getting away with their actions
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(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photographer doing a mom/newborn baby shoot asks the father to join in a couple of shots on a whim. Four days later, he returned to Afghanistan and was killed with twelve others by a suicide bomber. Here is that last photo with his baby girl
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(UPI)
 
 
 
Study finds trees are not adapting well to climate change. Well, hey, if they don't like it, they can just leaf
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(Quad City Times)