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| Sun June 12, 2011 |
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The Archbishop of Detroit is unhappy with priests who attended a Liberal conference, along with the fact that he was assigned to Detroit
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Many pink flamingos die of electrocution daily. Divine intervention not a factor
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| (Some Guy) |
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Miami overrun by Cuban
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Photoshop this healthy circle
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White and prosperous Mormon claims Mormons aren't as white and prosperous as we think
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Alabama man wants to reclaim the 40 beer kegs stolen from his small brewery after he tracks down thieves and presents their driver's licenses, tags and addresses to police. Police response, *crickets*
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Tour bus company forced to suspend operations as people were found travelling in the luggage compartment. Difficulty: they paid for tickets that would let them ride there. And it's not the first time
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| (Some Guy) |
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FCC report concerned about the decline of local investigative journalism and lack of community news stories. Ric Romero facepalms
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Biker pulled over by NYPD for sexy outfit: 'I thought he was joking'. Bonus: Leggy Dutch Broad pic
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Report: In a pinch, half of U.S. families would not be able to come up with $2,000 within 30 days. Subby retreats to his gated community to wait out the coming revolution
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| (Some Fun Guy) |
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Photoshop this devil's tooth fungus
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pippa single. Line-up begins to the right
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| (myfoxphoenix.com) |
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The TSA would like to remind you that a 6-inch plastic toy hammer is a weapon of terror, a baseball however, is not
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First post-shooting photos of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords released. Very nice, but Emma Watson did it better
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The US is underwriting all sorts of 'shadow internets' across the globe to foster free speech and democracy. Very cool. But does this also mean Voice of America now provides porn?
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Gator meat a novelty, but not a staple, say local buyers. Unlikely tag tastes like chicken
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| (WLKY) |
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Man without limbs declares intent to swim across bay. Buoy, that's something
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Pacific's biggest naval battle since 1945 now looming between Fiji and Tonga
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The only thing more disturbing than the Casey Anthony trial are the people who go to watch it
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| (Columbia Missourian) |
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You get an unexpected package left at your door with an Arabic recipient. Do you: (c) pick it up, drive it downtown, plop it on the counter of the police dept. to report it?
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Ugly ass babboon orphan adopts ugly ass bush baby..With OMG THATS CUTE pics
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| (Patriot Ledger) |
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Newly elected politician under investigation for sex in House chamber late at night, expected to plead "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"
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You want to know what a real hero is? A real hero is a 79-year-old bloke who can still get two women to fight over the right to sleep with him, and don't you forget it
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Old and predictable: Bull fighting. New and unpredictable: Lion fighting
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America can't even kick ass in the bubblegum department any more
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| (Lohud.com) |
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A week after his crash, 77-year-old pilot is ready to SWEET SATAN ON A STUMP WHAT THE HELL IS ENGULFING HIS ARM?
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Save a cow, eat a dress. Yes, please
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| (Inside Bay Area) |
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God smites doomsday prophet Harold Camping with a stroke
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After visiting the bare cement slab that used to be their home, FEMA inspector rejects family's tornado damage grant application for "insufficient damage"
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"Good with kids, good with horses, good with cats. A perfect lady in the home." But no sex
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"Did you try that mango colonic I recommended?"
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Bronies: Adult men who like to watch My Little Pony (w/pic of a Brony). What the Weird tag was invented for
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If this law passes you will no longer have to dress up in that tube top, and spandex to buy your lottery ticket. This is a good thing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nudist to school: Please replace the trees that prevented the kids seeing me naked at home. School: No. Nudist: Kids, have a picture, it will last longer. Bonus: Hot female nudist
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Much like Nicolas Cage before it, the 430,000 acre Wallow fire is doing its best to raze Arizona
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Ugly-ass twin gibbons born in captivity. Awww-worthy family pic included
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Attention, all desert hipsters: Tempe restaurant to host PBR-Pancake eating contest. "The beer gives the pancakes a pleasant cornmeal texture and a yeasty sourdough taste"
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The six most useless weapons built. Come for the tank built from a postcard, stay for for the faith-shaped bullets
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Photoshop these many melons
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Man arrested in robbery that nets him a penny less than a dollar. Poor guy, he should have had more cents
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"4 injured in dessert fire at Florida restaurant"
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| Sat June 11, 2011 |
| (Some Wicked Women) |
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When you ax your estranged wife to stop picking at you, make sure she understands the order of your words
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New lethal activity in Australia - drinking the water
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Amputee commits B&E, but half set of footprints leaves his record muddy
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New York City is letting a food truck sell hard liquor in the middle of Central Park. What could possibly go wrong?
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NY Court says lapdances are taxable. Elliot Spitzer says this never would have happened if he was still Governor
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A bunch of ugly-ass baby cheetahs born at Smithsonian Zoo. It ain't easy bein' cheesy (w/video)
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Anonymous vs. NATO - Round 1 - FIGHT
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This is not your father's Navy as destroyer anchors off Malibu beach. Sailors enjoy shore leave consisting of surfing, ordering off the menu and getting some plastic surgery
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Having used up all the double-entendre headlines with Anthony Weiner, the media goes back to old reliable, missing photogenic caucasian blonde college-age girls
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If Edvard Munch designed trees, they would look like this
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Welsh anthropologist suggests humans may be "extinction proof," despite never having been to an Oakland Raiders game
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| (El Smokie the Bear) |
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Do we REALLY need New Mexico?
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Short summer suits, modeled by leggy women who look absolutely nothing like the women who work in your office
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Photoshop this cucumber cascade
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Firefighters use saw to free 3-year-old's head from toilet seat, say she was never in distress - just a bit flushed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Neighbors notice mildew under eaves of house and call police, uncover 1,600 pot plant operation. Note to self: Invest in mildew killer
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| (DentistryIQ) |
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Today's health scare: ...spins the wheel... your toothbrush. Brits laugh
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| (Wheaton Local) |
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The City of Wheaton opens the Wesley Street bridge. Someone should run for mayor there... any ideas?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not following any of America's financial regulations is one thing, but now Goldman-Sach has gone too far: They've arranged to have a private grill at NYC's Shake Shack where their employees orders are cooked and served first
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Now that's what I call a divine paint job
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Man kidnaps dog in attempt to get loan. Because you're reading this on Fark, you can safely assume that there were a few ruff glitches in his plan
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Hudson River pleasure boaters and fishermen are becoming frustrated with all the security checks on the water. Fly me a river, dude. Fly me a river
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Bin Laden 'was a sex machine who would vanish into the bedroom with his wife for days.' Mercifully, the sun wasn't there
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Gueuze: complex, funky, idiosyncratic, multifaceted, pungent, satisfying, intense, crisp, dry, acidic, refreshing, tart, fruity, oaky, sour, musty, vinous, lemony, strawlike, cidery, grassy, haylike. That's an awful lot of words for beer
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Never mind the bridal shop actually got you the wedding dress you wanted; no, they took a few days to get it and "ruined" your mother-daughter day. The world has ended
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| (Lohud.com) |
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Malcolm X's daughter admits identity theft, faces (2X+1)^3 years in prison
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Being a 'nosy neighbor' at local open houses can prove just how sick your neighbors are. And teaches you where not to hide your own twisted, evil stuff when you sell
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The average price of a first date in Chicago is $170. You know, a hooker would be cheaper, and would probably improve the after-dinner odds a bit
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World's most expensive cities 2011, $11 for a beer, $5 for a dozen eggs, $24 for a movie ticket
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| (Some Dead Guy) |
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Candidate for leadership of Al Quaeda killed. This is not a repeat from last week
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Experts advise checking elderly at least twice a day during high heat, rotating at regular intervals to ensure even cooking
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News: Man nearly dies trying to ride a bull. Fark: Riding a bull was one of the things on his bucket list
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Eleven cops, whose memories are critical for court testimony, seem unable to recall when a pastry chef had his arm broken, by whom and why they refused him treatment for hours. Umm...there's a picture? Oh, now I recall
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The latest threat to the survival of our species, which must henceforth be eliminated, is... (shakes Magic 8 Ball) ...salt shakers
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Life imitates art. Caddyshack style
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| (Vancouver Sun) |
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Does a monthly stipend for HIV-positive government employees lead to a) employees falsely claiming they're HIV-positive, b) employees spending the stipend on booze and hookers, or c) both?
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Rare lizard saved from extinction in Mauritius despite not having a cute British accent
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| (Herald Sun) |
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Are there any doctors aboard? A passenger has had a heart attack, and if you perform CPR, we'll reward you by charging you for a second ticket
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Photoshop this petri dish
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A visit to a "makeover" salon for three-year-olds. Just keep telling yourself, they are our future
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| (Some Photo Guy) |
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Caption this unusual photographic encounter
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Angry birds menacing Everett, WA residents. National Guard preparing to deploy pigs and poorly fastened lumber
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Do you see what happens Larry? Do you see what happens when you cut off a motorcycle in Eastbound I-66 rush hour Larry?
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A DUI judge gets 1 day in jail, a $800 fine, and 40 hours of community service for a DUI
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So apparently making yourself comfortable on Spanish flights is frowned upon. Had I known
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Your WTF video of the day - Konis Hupen (honk honk)
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| (Some...Oh Look, Shiny) |
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15 signs that you might have adult ADHD. Given the subject, is a 15 page slideshow really a good idea?
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| (They're all nuts) |
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Another squirrel vies for fattest Fark mascot. Overweight squirrel trifecta in play?
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| (Stillwater Gazette) |
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Not news: second-grade teachers take their classes for a walk around the zoo, and get to see the zoo's Mexican Wolf. Fark: which is also walking around the zoo
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| (koamtv.com) |
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Laverne the cat found alive and well after being trapped for 16 days in the rubble of a house destroyed by a EF-5 tornado. Welcome to the miracle edition of Caturday
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If you're an ex-deputy who has pled guilty to 12 felonies - including DUI - it is especially inadvisable to show up drunk for sentencing
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Men hold up Dunkin' Donuts, come away with bag of dough. Cops get a rise out of the mistake
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Contaminated water leaking into the harbor? Screw it, just throw some matresses on it and call it a weekend
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| (angusrshamal.com) |
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Photoshop this Sesame Street scene
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If you flew US Airways in the past year and DIDN'T pay a $25 fee to help them get redundant data centers, this is all your fault, citizen
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| (Some Dead Guy) |
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New York tells pet cemeteries to stop burying humans with their beloved pets. They just ain't right when they come back
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Crystal Lake girl dies. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ah-ah-ah-ah
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| (KSN.com) |
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"Bubble Man" passes away in Wichita. Wood Man, Metal Man inconsolable
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Virgin introduces new in-flight entertainment. Live 30 minute cage fights
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| Fri June 10, 2011 |
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Geez, Fark's mascot really let himself go
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Teacher gives female student a vibrator and encourages her to masturbate furiously. Naturally someone has a problem with this
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If you're 30+ years old, there's a good chance you'll die at your cubicle, fast food court or other place of employment
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Woman loses 300 lbs by putting down the fork. That's one heavy fork
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Photoshop this parasol protection
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Yes, we have the usual assortment of strange forehead tans and tattoos in this week's Mugshot Roundup, now with 100% more Friday
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| (lehighvalleylive) |
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Scantily clad, drunk and throwing mulch at an air conditioning unit is no way to go through life, son
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"Former WA, FL man arrested in Mexico in homicide" No word if he battered his victim first, but hopefully police can iron out the details
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It turns out that one guy didn't assault another man with a dead weasel or a dead marten. It was a dead mink
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The last straw for Gingrich's campaign staff is when he gave in to his wife's demand to take a two-week cruise just after he announced his run. In other news, Newt's apparently been gone for two weeks and nobody noticed
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Fark tag Battle Royal: Toddler loses teddy bear (Sad). Mother posts "Lost/Reward" signs (Cool, Spiffy, or Sappy). What happened next (Amusing or Strange)
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As far as tickets go, getting one for letting a monkey run through the city at large is a pretty cool one
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How's tourism in Egypt doing these days? (Not well.)
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WHAR MY INCANDESCENTS? WHAR RIGHT TO LIGHT,RIGHT TO CHOICE? RAWR BLOOMBERG SMASH
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Hot redhead Russian spy is...oh you've clicked already? Never mind
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| (Some Guy) |
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Internet declared a human right. You'll be working tech support for the rest of your life
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You're not bipolar, you're a victim of the 'madness industry'
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Study of 800-year-old tree rings backs global warming. Well that settles it
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Ten things to do on Nantucket. Curiously absent is drinking yourself into a coma because there's absolutely nothing to do on Nantucket. Also missing is watching that thing with that man from the island you heard that one time
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Woman attacked by chimp gets full face transplant, now resembles her attacker
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Confessions of a Best Buy Geek Squad Geek, who spent 4.5 years at his job
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The psychic that led Texas police on a wild goose chase looking for a mass grave would like you to know she's not a psychic, she's a prophetess. And she got her information from 32 angels and Jesus himself. Now, don't YOU feel stupid
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| (Some Guy) |
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Canadian Postal Workers go on rotating strike, stopping deliveries in one area each day. One week into it, Canadians only notice by hearing it on the news
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Your wife's hairy butt could save our economy. Just in time for swimsuit season
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| (The Real Ric Romero) |
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"Hiding a spare key is another dumb move as it makes it easier for thieves." Thank you for keeping us safe, Ric Romero. Today, you get the Hero tag instead of the Obvious tag
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So what did Germans think of the big to-do for Chancellor Angela Merkel at the White House? "Blow Out Party for a Relationship of Waning Importance" Ouch
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The Palin e-mails, where we have uncovered groundbreaking correspondance like "Do u remember who the barber is who's going to trim my hair?" and other such visionary e-mails
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| (Blame it on the voices) |
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News: Drunken brawl at wedding results in the arrest of seven wedding guests and citations for the bride and groom. Fark: What started the mayhem in the first place
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Detroit areas remain without power, leaving them no worse off than usual
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If the Turks are describing your handling of protesters as 'This is savagery', you may have a PR issue
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5 Myths about the U.S. Economy. Number 3 people are bound to have a problem with
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LAST CALL - Toronto / Great Lakes Fark Party June 11 - Pre-party game: Blue Jays v. Red Sox (DIT)
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It's back. NONE SHALL PASS
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The key to better sex? Sorry, I wasn't listening. Could you tell me again?
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Nine US airports will begin offering direct flights to Cuba. Viva la revolucion
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| (Some Guy) |
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Woman feels dirty and violated after finding out the head cleaner tape in her brand new VCR is actually porn. In other news people are still buying VCRs
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Sweet picture of Bill Clinton and... Dobby
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| (ktvb.com) |
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Bus carrying a smugload of cyclists flips over
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Oversized TV chef to cook oversized Salisbury Steak in attempt to beat world record. The 900lb steak - and the chef - will be lifted with a crane boom
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Dope smoking menstruating monkey study gets 3.6 million dollars. If they wanted to know about Lindsay Lohan, they could have just traded her an 8-ball of blow
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| (Some Guy) |
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A $20 ticket buys you all the Crown Royal you can drink and all the balls you can eat. Its the 7th annual Testicle Festival
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Cool: Madden NFL 12 and new "dynamic player performance." Sad: Morgan Webb's favorite NFL team (Sponsored link)
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Seven kids who can paint better than most artists
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Woman lost in Nepal eats shoots and leaves
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Old and busted: Nude beaches. New hotness: Nude hiking trails
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Three years after Katrina does not look as good as three months after the Japanese tsunami
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Some go for cheese, some for fireworks, some need condoms more than flip-flops. And everyone laughs at the person caught shoplifting a mop. It's the Friday Photo Fun Matchup
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Egypt discovers the hard way that their revolution will only succeed if they have a stable economy. Oops, the revolution killed that. Never fear, here comes the Muslim Brotherhood to fill the vacuum
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You're from England and visiting Orlando and your child ends up in the hospital. Do you a) sit by the bed and hope he get better, b) go to the chapel and pray, or c) head over to Target and take pictures up a woman's skirt
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SCOTUS rules 6-3 that fleeing 5-0 is no different than 1-8-7
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The US Balloon Corps celebrates 150 years of aerial reconnaissance, squeaky voices
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Members of 'Anonymous' arrested in Spain, charged with hacking PlayStation, world governments
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Krauts blame sprouts
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So why is the Koch-funded Americans for Prosperity so opposed to the building of bridge in Detroit that they plastered fake eviction notices on nearby buildings? Well see there's this rich guy who own a private toll-bridge nearby
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Get ready to break your dawww bone: these ducklings imprinted on a Corgi
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Connecticut town spends $630,000 to resolve a $400 ethics violation
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| (www.pojonews.com) |
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Man gets wasted, breaks into house, pees on floor. Woman invites him to her place and shoots up in front of her eight-year-old. Son, I am disappoint? Mom of the Year? No way to go through life? Welcome to Fark? So many choices
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Yes, your cell phone may cause planes to fall from the sky. Yes, even you Mr. Airplane Mode iPhone
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Yuri Budanov murdered. Moose and squirrel wanted for questioning
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| (Winston-Salem Journal) |
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Not news: Man brags about 145MPH joyride with buddy. News: They're NC state senators. Fark: They're immune because the comments were made on the Senate floor
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Apparently, Barbie dolls cause little girls to flirt with their fathers and British troops to rape Libyan men and women...or something
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this gesturing guy
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Dow goes up, dow goes DOWN. You can't explain that
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The man who typed Schindler's list and helped to save the lives of 1,200 people dies at the age of 91
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| (Some Guy) |
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Rule #1 for owning a jewelry store: When you leave to go home at night LOCK THE DOOR
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If you steal a wallet from another patient in your semi-private room, don't have the nurse read off the credit card number so you can order a pizza. Just sayin
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NATO, who wasn't targeting Gadhafi, is now targeting Gadhafi. Robert Mugabe and Bashar al-Assad refresh their drinks and order another mass slaughter
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She can get up 105 pounds in the snatch fully clothed. Britney Spears expected to try and break record
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| (Some Gate Agent) |
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"Missed your connecting flight, and it's our fault? No problem, just hit that ATM over there, and for $120 I can get you taken care of"
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Business owner approached by men who claim they need money to wash the white stuff they coated their money in to smuggle it out of Africa. Unfortunately for them, he wasn't an idiot
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Man who photoshopped his 13 year-old daughter's face onto pornographic pictures should not have been conviced of child pornography because it was adults, not minors, conducting sex acts. Also...WHAT THE F*CK? THIS IS WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS
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You know the beer festival was good when you wake up half-naked and get punched in the face
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After a 40-year hiatus, Vietnam announces that they would like to be bombed into the stone age by a new super power
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If you couldn't get laid after tweeting that all single mothers are ugly, it probably won't help your chances when you say your blind date can eat like a dragon and dresses like a ThunderCat (w/ pic)
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| (Got Wood?) |
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Handy Wood drops pants and exposes self, handy wood
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| (Topless Robot) |
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Eleven costumes that are nerdly and still look incredibly hot on hot geek girls. Oh yes, there are pictures (bonus: no Slave Leia)
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Smoke up fatty, here comes the SCIENCE
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In an attempt to make them look like they're bigger on the inside, Florida condo community to be named after current Doctor Who companion River Song
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California legislators pass "do as I say, not as I do" gun law, exempt themselves from California's ridiculous gun control laws
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| (Some Guy) |
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Newspaper entertainment critic gives glowing review to "Glee Live," especially the songs she didn't see and that were not performed
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Concerned citizen forces British City Council to admit they are totally unprepared for a zombie invasion
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WPXI gets the scoop on hammer, saw, bulldozer story. Film at elev...er, right now
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| (Stamford Advocate) |
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High school student makes body double for his principal for extra credit. Awesome or creepy?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nude photo shoots are a privilege, not a right. And definitely not an invitation to start beating it in the bushes
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You might be a Florida tag if you get busted for smoking an "illegal substance" while arguing with your wife inside a shed
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Mexico's president to speak at Stanfords commencement. He does realize the college he wants is on the other side of the bay. Right?
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Whittler whittles aways his days. "I will be 87 in August. This is what I do with my time"
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State of Alaska set to release 24,000 Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: emails. Did you know the Liberals started the Great Chicago Fire? Well, now you do
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| (Arutz Sheva) |
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Hey Kids do you want to learn genuine Islamic values, paramilitary training, and explosive making this summer? then look no further than Hamas Summer Camp for children of all ages
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Avaya plans 1 billion dollar IPO; Financial institutions "handling" the offering read like a "who's who" of recent bailouts, scandals and corporate welfare
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Joe Biden proving he is truly Obama's caddy
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I thought nobody went to Mardi Gras without having their monkey seized at least once
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"Mr. Owl, how many poops does it take to taint a town's water supply?"
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China writes an unflattering article about an American city. Did they choose to make fun of a) New York City b) Chicago c) Los Angeles d) Millisocket, Maine
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Man faked brain injury to get diaper changed, and then things get weird
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| (Naples Daily News) |
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Want to run around naked in backyard with your girlfriend? Make sure it's your backyard first
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Illinois recognizes its Southern roots and legalizes eating roadkill
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| (Some Guy) |
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The latest deadly outbreak? Dirt
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Sometimes when you live with your wife and a female roommate you find yourself calling 911 for no damn reason
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I'm 100% positive I'm still 45% drunk from last night and we have a team meeting in 10 minutes. Awesome
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| (Some Guy) |
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MAKE IT RAIN
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Ginger Kid shocked, SHOCKED when Dominos put his description on his receipt
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| (Some Merlot Guy) |
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Wine Enthusiast finds that wine makes women more enthusiastic in bed. I'll take a glass of the '06 Romero
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Dog tries to cook his own damn steak
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Town horrified by pornographic billboard, prompting vandals to deface it. The billboard? A woman in a bikini at the beach
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The most adorable bullfight... EVER. Or, this takes bullfighting to a new level. Or, bet you didn't see this coming
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There are times when it's OK to stuff your bra. Just not when you're in a courtroom, and your padding material just happens to be METH
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Yes, ladies, you CAN walk around the city topless. T-O-P-L-E-S-S
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this pair of peregrine falcons
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No one in Chicago wanted to claim $17,000 cash laying on the sidewalk
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Proud new Marine is not allowed to wear her uniform at high school graduation. Drop and give me one hundred pushups
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Cool: New study says beer may help marathon runners recover after a race. Sad: Non-alcoholic beer
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If you are a legal medical marijuana patient in Washington, you can still be fired from your job even if you only smoke it at home and experience no side effects on the job
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Whitney Elementary School in East Las Vegas is committed to providing a safe environment that nourishes achievement, independence, and responsibility to all 610 children currently enrolled. Nearly 85% of those children are homeless
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| Thu June 09, 2011 |
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Great Moments in Socialized Medicine #2,398: Hospital staff step over a dying man lying in a hallway for 10 solid hours, then finally drag his body across the floor into a room. In front of his family
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I'm sorry about the speeding, drunk driving, reckless endangerment, swerving BUT I JUST BROKE A NAIL
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| (the ICE man) |
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Your neighbor may be a Drug Lord if: (A) He has a special edition Camaro with an engine that runs on jet fuel
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Photoshop this guy standing on a steel structure
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cumming man shoots woman in face and neck
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"100 percent trash boat" sets sail in Taiwan ... you may call it a junk
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Man shot in Mooloolaba. I'm not an Australian doctor, but that sounds very painful
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| (Some F*cker) |
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Today is International F*ck-A-Friend Day. Tomorrow: Things-Just-Got-Awkward Day
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What is the length of two blue whales, the height of five giraffes, the weight of 165 elephants, and can handle 853 people at a time? Besides your mom
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| (Some Blow Up Guy) |
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A blow up doll with a cup holder in the top of it's head sounds like a GREAT idea. But it's still not going to get you out of that HOV violation
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You know how Stalin used to dress his secret police in long black leather coats and just the sight of them would bring fear into Soviet citizens? Well, guess who putin an order for some
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| (Some Guy) |
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Worlds' Most Exclusive Web Site not so much now that you're here
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| (Some fat arse) |
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Sitting may be just as deadly as smoking cigarettes. So get off your fat arse, go outside and smoke 'em if you've got 'em
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In the new American middle class, success is measured by how long you can remain payment-free in your underwater home before the foreclosure actually happens. This couple's made it 5 years
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| (Some Guy) |
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Measles may soon be dotting Maryland
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New Russian ATM will scan a passport, record fingerprints, take a three-dimensional scan for facial recognition, tell if your pants are on fire
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Exercise bike found full of cocaine. Which makes sense if you think about it
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Protip: Before you remove the camera you've strategically placed in the unisex bathroom of Starbucks, turn it off. Otherwise police will get a great shot of you and your license plate
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| (Salisbury Post) |
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On the way to court for a reckless driving charge, man causes head-on collision while searching for attorney's phone number. Keep that number close buddy, you're going to need it
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Alabama signs toughest immigration law in the country, despite the fact that no one wants to immigrate to Alabama
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An FBI Spy Vs. Spy drama starring an Indiana man, his ex-wife, and a 17-year-old girl he friended who turned out to be his ex-wife. Facebook is the root of all evil
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Scientists unearth a giant 65 million-year-old sea turtle. I thought Snooki was still in Italy
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Nine beagles who were bred for research need new homes. No superpowers or evil genius tendencies have been observed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man loses custody of his children after they catch him having sex with a blow up doll. Then things get weird
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| (Houston Press) |
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Veals on Wheels, Hepatits B-B-Q and other rejected food truck names
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| (Can U Tuck A Looney?) |
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Burlesque dancers in Calgary are upset that their nude dancing is being legislated just like strippers, and exotic dancers. Burlesque is apparently French-Canadian for "no tucking"
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| (Some Guy) |
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ExxonMobile reports huge oil discovery in Gulf of Mexico that isn't from the BP spill
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Gameplay demo for Arkham City shows a few issues with physics. Specifically, how Catwoman fights without her breasts falling out (Sponsored link)
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Photoshop this persistent pressure
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| (Some Guy) |
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"According to the incident report, he initially growled at deputies, then later told them he was scratched by a wolf in the woods and blacks out when the moon comes out." Alcohol was involved
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| (wtsp.com) |
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Today's prostitute round-up brought to you by Polk County. With typical cast of hittable, would-not-want and 'hey is that Rod Stewart' mug shots
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Joran van der Sloot was so broke before his arrest, he was planning on becoming a prostitute. Dude, they kill and bury hookers. WTF is this guy's problem?
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Once again, Florida discriminates against disadvantaged blacks
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| (Some Guy) |
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Astronaut remembers 'the little girl that threw up on me'
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Woman is assaulted by police, tries to report it, gets rebuffed and harassed, tapes conversation, is arrested for eavesdropping. Ta da
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| (Some Guy) |
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Douglas Watson, do you take Elaine Davidson to have to HOLY FARK, really?
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Civil Rights icon & writer of "Blacks Just Wanna Have Fun," Clara Luper dead at 88
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One man fired, another demoted for flipping off driver during road rage incident. Fark: They were firefighters on an emergency call
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World's craziest white lady pays for shopping sprees for "poor Mexican women" while letting loose profanities and shouting "aye, aye, ayeeee" Yeah, that's all I've got
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What are you doing for Natalie Portman's birthday today?
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Conservative newspaper sends out mailers depicting what their ideal reader may look like
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Los Angeles will abandon red light cameras because city's 3% share of ticket revenue doesn't cover costs
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Evil: install spyware on female customer laptops granting webcam access. Genius spyware message: "try putting your laptop near hot steam for several minutes to clean the sensor" Payoff: shower pics, then jail
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Fark prepares for influx in Florida tags as wildlife officials extend gator huntin' hours
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| (Some Danish Guy) |
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Hey Muslims, it really wasn't anything personal with those drawings. The Danes don't even like their own religion
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Leonard Stern, co-_________ of Mad Libs, _________ at age 88. He will be ___________
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Add the "gay girl in Damascus" to the list of Internet frauds that you totally knew were bogus from the very beginning
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"Can Kinect Fun Labs Grant Life to a Plastic Purple Penis?" You be the judge
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The Washington DC police department would like you to know that its transfer of the officers who gave Charlie Sheen his own police motorcade had nothing to do with them giving Charlie Sheen his own police motorcade
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Grasshoppers? In *my* tacos? It's more likely than the Health Department wants it to be
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Man charged with "criminal mischief" after shredding thousands of dollars worth of his girlfriend's clothing and then peeing on the shred pile because she "interfered with another one of his relationships"
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Japan may close all nuclear reactors by next April, get rid of computers by next July, and eliminate automobiles by September
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| (WHAM) |
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Teenager shows girlfriend's parents around his multi-million dollar home he supposedly inherited. Real homeowner shows up. Awkward
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Americans are torn between raising and not raising that debt ceiling thingy
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Blu-Ray sales are being eclipsed by DVD sales
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Tennessee passes another brilliant law to ban *shakes magic 8-ball* posting pictures on the internet someone might find emotionally distressing. There goes the internet
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| (Sun Chronicle) |
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Massachusetts town's plan to tax public drunkenness conflicts with state law guaranteeing right to be drunk in public
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| (Some Hot Shot) |
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"Remember when you Tasered me in the face. That felt good"
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Mother is shocked, stunned, and outraged that the McDonald's play area her kid was playing in was dirty. "The entire structure was riddled with swear words and gang signs"
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Actor who played both an Ewok and a goblin busted for fondling himself on a train next to a teen girl. Rule #34 implodes. "Asked why he had not put his hat in the luggage rack, he said he could not reach"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Missing Boa + missing ferret. Lunch and a nap?
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Problem: The government wants to shut down your zoo. Solution: Start calling it a church
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| (KJRH) |
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Ahh, the neighborhood pool. Children frolicking, mothers gossiping, crazy naked dude hopping the fence and jumping in. w/vid
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Safety innovations have made SUVs the safest vehicles on the road, unless you're in the small car that gets hit by one of them
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| (Some Guy) |
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At last, a public toilet that's kinda ready for the zombie apocalypse, thanks Russia
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Eleven phrases that make you sound stupid no matter how smart you are. Bonus: irritating slideshow
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| (Sarah MFing Palin) |
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Sarah Palin posts about an Obama 'WTF' moment on Facebook. Fark: Her followers translate that in the comments to Win The Future, because Sarah doesn't swear
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Hay guyz, the snow is melting in a parking lot. Someone call the news desk. Alert Fark, Global Warming. Al Gore. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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Michael Taylor, FDA's deputy commissioner for foods and former Monsanto vice-president, would like to assure you that arsenic in your chicken is not a big deal
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Meet the sleaziest lawyer in New Jersey (ergo the sleaziest lawyer in the observable universe)
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Powerful people tend to be rule breakers who take it too far and cross the line of what is acceptable. In other news, water is wet, Drew likes beer, and Fark destroys at-work productivity
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Tiger vs. Weiner - see if you can tell whose dirty talk is whose (FYI for the terminally thick: language not safe for work)
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Your bacon-double-cheeseburger is a) causing mass starvation b) killing the planet c) delicious or d) all of the above
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Psst. You didn't hear this from me but the U.S. is increasing airstrikes in Yemen
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Things were fine until the children began to develop allergies to dog nose
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96-year old woman confesses to murder she committed in 1946, authorities say she could go to jail for the rest of her life
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Leonard Nimoy invokes classic Star Trek episode while issuing statement on Israeli-Palestinian relationship. No, not "The Trouble With Tribbles"
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With unemployment on the rise again, it's a good thing we're about to cut unemployment benefits
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Two words: Stealth Godzilla
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Fox News uncovers the terrifying truth: "green" buildings may be killing you
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| (Some Guy) |
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England's oldest morris dance revival group celebrates it's 100th anniversary. If you've never seen morris dancers, well, brace yourself
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Unless you were one of the kids from 'The Family Circus,' don't leave a trail of paint droplets as you wander about the neighborhood vandalizing cars
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The CNN Belief Blog celebrates its first birthday by listing the top ten things its learned. Number 2: Holy Christ, you atheists won't shut up, will you?
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Judge expected to hand jurors the Blagojevich case today, putting an end to one of the most ridiculous trials Illinois has ever seen
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| (wsbtv.com) |
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Cobb Co. Authorities Warn Of Zombie Mayhem
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Mercedes M-Class burns 25% less fuel, compensates 35% more penis
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Australia imposes a new dusk to dawn curfew. Fark: On cats
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In Chicago, 'asphalt helpers' are more valuable than paramedics
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HOW DO YOU TURN THE TURN SIGNAL UP?
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Two men jump in Wisconsin river to cool off, are now at room temperature
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Photoshop these Hershey's Kisses hats
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| (Some Guy) |
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News: Man accidentally kills self in game of Russian Roulette. Fark: With a dog. Yes, there is moonshine involved
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ProTip: When working as a police sketch artist, it helps to choose a gender for the suspect
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The IATA would like to return something to you: Your dignity
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"Suspect is a man, around the age of 40... Wait, Scratch that, Suspect is a woman, around the age of 40"
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The city that smelt it, dealt it
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You shouldn't spend your life parked outside a woman's house gazing at her with binoculars, but if you do then you really should wear more than just underwear
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| (Some Guy) |
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"His buttocks were definitely exposed. He was wiggling them at us when we pulled in"
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 318: "Scanner as Camera." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest
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| Wed June 08, 2011 |
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The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?"
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Protip: When setting up a drug deal, try not to text your intentions to the phone of a local cop
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Seven-gill shark opens the summer season with taste test off the coast of San Diego
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| (wlwt.com) |
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Men tried to extinguish van fire with water. What stopped them? SCIENCE
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| (Some Guy) |
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Woman dies of Hilton Head trauma two days after falling from golf cart. Says to write it down as a one
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| (Some Guy) |
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WTF is wrong with you people???
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Air Force Cadet unlocks Force Lightning ability
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fire kills up to 30,000 chickens east of Calgary. Canada now facing a severe shortage of dipping sauces
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Reduce, reuse, rekindle
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High school girls' basketball coach takes it to the hole, gets called for the foul
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| (CBSSacramento.com) |
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We apologize for the explosive fault in the pipeline. The section that was repaired after we repaired the repaired section has been repaired. Sackings begin shortly
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In case you ever wondered how attention whores are made, having a mom known as "the human Barbie" who gives you a boob job voucher for your seventh birthday is probably a good starting point
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| (Some Guy) |
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Priest busted for wrestling the bishop
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U.S.A. rated most funny in an online global poll. Load of bullocks if you ask me, Nancy wankers
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29-year old Nintendo exec hits the reset button on her biological parents, finally has a real family after co-workers legally adopt her
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man pushing a wheelchair with a mannequin in it he claims is his wife "not a threat" according to welfare workers (with the WTF pic of the day)
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Bar Girls", who swindled tourists of thousands of dollars in bar tabs will be able to keep their nickname. Florida tag pours Followup tag a $1000 shot
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: Tijuana man arrested. News: for having more than 75 unpermitted weapons and 10,000 rounds of ammunition. Fark: He's the former mayor
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| (Patch.com) |
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Mountain lion spotted in Greenwich, Connecticut. EVERYBODY HAVE THEIR SERVANTS PANIC
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If you're going to try and freak everyone out at a party by cocking your shotgun, it helps if you don't put the shells in backwards
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Man gets trampled to death as two wild elephants go berserk in the appropriately named town of Mysore
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News: Man gets carjacked. Fark: 11-year-old gets carjacked
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Iron Photoshop ingredient: AA battery
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| (ktvb.com) |
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Suicide rates in Idaho are up on news that they're living in Idaho
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| (Anchorage Daily News) |
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Alaska State Trooper facing months of paid administrative leave after leaving the scene of an accident in his police vehicle and registering a .40 BAC. Police spokepersons refuse to reveal his Fark handle
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This 4-year-old is supposedly the next Picasso. Her macaroni art is truly fridge-worthy
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Head-on crash leaves cement truck applied directly to the forehead. Head-on crash leaves cement truck applied directly to the forehead. Head-on crash leaves cement truck applied directly to the forehead
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| (Some Guy) |
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Barr barred after shouting barred word after jumping over the bar. Bars team from state title
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Man runs through church, shows off his holy trinity
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New app identifies plant species from a leaf. Yup, that's Poison Sumac alright
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kid born with drugs in system needed to be cared for by someone other than parents since both were using. Unfortunately, so were all 4 grandparents. Great-grandmother for the ultra-fail
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"Man wedged in underwater rocks dies after rescue", says article displaying a very liberal use of the word "rescued"
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Actual headline: "Disgusted Democrats letting Weiner shrivel"
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| (Some Guy) |
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The glass staircase at a new courthouse is an architectural marvel. Plus when you're standing under them you can totally look up women's skirts
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Chinese scientists are genetically modifying cows to produce human breast milk, furry porn
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Tree cutter in serious condition after trying to branch out
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I bend over backwards to hide in my luggage and steal your belongings under the bus and this is the thanks I get
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man single-handedly robs bank
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Photoshop this skid-stopping cyclist
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| (Some Guy) |
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The coolest video of massive solar flare you'll see all day. The sun is... well, you know
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Teen hacking government websites learns the importance of being behind seven proxies
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Aussie PM gets a handle on indigenous affairs. My word, she looks impressed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police looking for two women that stole 75 deodorant sticks from a store. Raise your hand if you're sure who they are
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Stuxnet 2.0 ready for release
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