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| Sun February 06, 2011 |
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Artist creates paintings for each state using Google street view. Probably could have picked something better for Wisconsin
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Afghan judge to Red Cross worker: Convert back to Islam or you'll be hanged in three days. Red Cross worker: STFU
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A man accused of murdering his father claims Red Bull pushed him over the edge. Good thing he did not have Tweak Extreme Grape, he may have taken out the whole town
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If you didn't suffer from geniophobia before ... well, you probably do now
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Photoshop these practicing paraders
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State trooper says fatal blood alcohol levels start at .30, so he was impressed that the suspect he arrested for DUI was "walking and talking." Especially since the guy actually blew .436
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It is now legal to smoke a joint at some parks and playgrounds. Some Arizona officials have a problem with that
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Did the Internet kill privacy? Teacher loses job for having picture of herself with a glass of wine on Facebook
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Slideshow of the top 14 astronomy pictures taken in 2010. Fark needs "incredibly freaking awesome" tag
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Five classic board games with disturbing origin stories
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Luxury shoemaker Jimmy Choo could be up for sale. You know, shoes. These shoes rule. These shoes suck. Shoes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Will the Packers ride the arm of Aaron Rodgers to victory, or will the Steelers buy a stairway to seven? This is your official Super Bowl XLV discussion thread (kickoff at 6:29 ET, FOX)
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How the "CSI effect" is influencing courtrooms and making jurors more skeptical without high-tech forensics
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| (Some Guy) |
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The most amazing and beautiful picture made out of nails you will see all week
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| (Some Mom) |
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Remember the Mom who showed unconditional love and support for her preschool son when he dressed up as Daphne for Halloween? Her Church is threatening her with expulsion if she doesn't 'apologize'. WWJD?
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Iran bans foreign cooking shows on state television, sparing Iranians Rachael Ray's EVOO and yummo and 20 minute meals that take 90 minutes to make and come out looking like fried ass
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What's so bad about the "Nanny State"? Aren't Nannys cute British women with fetching accents and magical powers that help them relsove family crises?
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| (Central Park) |
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Photoshop this pulling pooch
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Mass shooting at Youngstown State University fraternity leaves 1 dead, 11 wounded
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♫ Making your way in the world today takes all the blood you've got. Taken a hit from someone's shiv? It sure would help to clot. Didn't you try to get away? ♫
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That debunked myth about the Super Bowl being dangerous for women is dangerous for women
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Floods, cyclones and now wildfires. Australia may not be the promised land after all
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| (FAP FAP FAP) |
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A member of the Landover Baptist Church recently saw the word "FAP" in a Sarah Palin thread. Let's peek into the Landover Baptist Church forum as members try to determine what "FAP" means
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| (KSL.com) |
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Ex-postal worker "normally doesn't use" stolen checks and money orders, but they make awesome child support payments
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Town cancels winter carnival because there was too much snow
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Happy 45th birthday to 80s pop sensation Rick Astley. Here's Together Forever
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15-year-old spent the entire weekend using his mom's cell phone to make over 350 calls to female cops, deeply concerned about his good friend, Oliver Clothesoff
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Travel writer calls for child free areas on flights, or separate adults only ones
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BofA to pay $410 million in overdraft fee case. (holds pinky to corner of mouth) $410 meeeeellion dollars
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HA HA fire tears through VACANT RESORT LOCATED ON QUAKER ROAD
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Continued funding for the Edgar Allan Poe museum in Baltimore? Quoth the city, "Nevermore"
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Florida's new governor is eager to close 1/3rd of Florida's state parks. So if you have ever wanted to visit fetid, disgusting swampland, you should probably get on that
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| (Some stone-faced guy) |
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For Sale: Terracotta warriors, $100/each. Why are you still reading this? Don't you know awesome when you read it?
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| (Las Vegas Review Journal) |
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Spankings at the Höfbrauhaus, and other drunken ramblings
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hey. HEY. STFU and GBTW
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Dead cow washes up on beach. Police tow it away, try to locate someone that may have a steak in it
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: If modern media had always existed, throughout history. LGT Inspiration
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Man tells police he killed his mother, cut her up and put the parts in the freezer. Cops and coroner arrive on the chaotic scene, both trying to keep the piece
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Not News: North Carolina State students organize an annual event to raise money. News: More than 6,000 participants raise $40,000 for a hospital. Fark: Involves running 4 miles and eating a dozen Krispy Kremes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Police help woman who was locked in a house. Fark: For 20 years
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Arlington church cancels services so they can rent spaces in their parking lot for Super Bowl fans. Praise the Lord
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It's "advertISEment", not "adVERTisement"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Snowballs and penis fun ruined by police
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The latest battle of Britain pits local councils and cemetery boards against people dead-set of inundating graves with tons of tacky crapola. w/ super tacky pics
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School sends 10 year-old home for "extreme" hair. Parents furious because he's had the same haircut since he was four with no problem. w/douchebag haircut pic
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One utterly unexpected and enthralling byproduct of the rock-throwing chaos in Cairo? The explosion of ... wait for it ... insanely creative makeshift helmets. Insert "even paranoids have enemies" and/or tin foil joke here
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| Sat February 05, 2011 |
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Police inspector in charge of calls for anti-social behaviour arrested for.... drum roll.... anti-social behaviour
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Photoshop this guy putting on the grimace
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| (Some Guy) |
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Maryland lawmaker threatens to revoke state highway administration's authority to run "work zone" speed cameras enforcing "work zone" speed limits when no work is being done
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| (Lubbock Avalanche Journal) |
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Think NYC subway rats are bad?
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After thorough analysis, state Office of Education comes to the shocking conclusion that smaller class sizes = better results. Good job, here's your gold star
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"Rico Suave" bandit may have been captured. Rrrrrrrico. Suuuuaaaave
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| (Some Guy) |
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Your getaway car isn't very fast if you're a purse snatcher and a guy in a snowplow can follow you for 21 miles. Bonus: Purse snatcher calls 911 to report he's being followed by a snowplow
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| (fox chicago) |
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7-year-old buys fighter jet on eBay, must have one heck of a paper route
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"Wait, I have to go get my camera" are not the words you want to hear from the doctor who is delivering your baby
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| (Some Guy) |
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Their behavior was provocative and they were flaunting authority. Some of the students who were suspended said they were told it was for inciting a riot. For wearing Steeler jerseys
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Naked truth - bikini barista owner guilty of too much skin
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Happy 100th Birthday Ronald Reagan
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Teen arrested by police investigating drug deals on Facebook. Stupid kids, don't they realise you're meant to sell drugs in quiet, deserted places? Like MySpace?
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| (WTSP.com) |
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It's all fun and games till your parents get pepper sprayed at a high school basketball game
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Cop tells man he has to take his car off of blocks because it can only remain like that for 90 days. Man responds by taking a crowbar to the car and breaking its windows. Ah, Cedar Rapids
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Not getting laid? Try doing the dishes
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In 1971, a revolution arrived in kitchens everywhere. Happy birthday, food processor
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City officials, who are obviously in deep denial about where they live, hope that new casino will boost tourism and revitalize their downtown area. Downtown Cleveland, that is
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Photoshop this guy and his elephant friend
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Artificial heart stolen from Ohio company. Cops hoping to make a cardiac arrest
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| (Star-Advertiser) |
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Not news: Lady crashes into building, pinning man. Fark: Who deserved it, since he'd been clinging to her hood, punched her through the windshield with brass knuckles, and grabbed the wheel
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| (Some Piggy Backer) |
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Using someone else's wi-fi connection is not illegal, unless it is; with the exception of when it isn't. Hope that clears things up
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| (Capital Times) |
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Cool: High School's varsity dance team is headed to state competition. Stupid: Mental health advocates are upset by their hip-hop "get crazy" routine
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Want to have your annual blowout Super Bowl party? Good luck, the cops are sealing off your entire subdivision
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| (Record Herald) |
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Youth pastor arrested after teenage boys say that although he maketh them to lie down, his "staff" doesn't comfort them after all
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Milwaukee postal clerk got up at 3 a.m. Wednesday, saw his vehicle was stuck in snow, bundled up, put on ski goggles and walked more than 4 miles to open the post office on time
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High school principal cancels play inspired by Columbine shooting, after three months of production work, because a parent thinks it's too depressing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Actual Headline: Rogue Massachusetts turkey, known for attacking mail truck, may or may not belong to Ethel Kennedy
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The delightfully biatchy obituary of Princesse Ghislaine de Polignac
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Squirrel baffled by why his new friend doesn't react. With awwww-inducing pics
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"Is sushi the new steak?" Is that...is that even a serious question? Steak is edible, sushi is disgusting
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Police cause 238 crashes in 18 months....without leaving the police station parking lot
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| (Some Guy) |
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Food Liberation Army takes Ronald McDonald hostage, plans video execution unless demands are met. Some people really need a happy meal
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If your secret fantasy is a personal trainer and a race driver dolled up in futuristic superhero costumes, Rule #34 saves the day
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| (The Item) |
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The war on drugs is a failure and pot and cocaine should be legalized, says former state treasurer who just coincidentally resigned to serve ten months in federal prison on cocaine charges
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| (Times Colonist) |
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If you misplaced a bag in the park containing 216 pairs of panties, some dirty, the guy who found it wants to give them back
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Male rights activist calls for Valentine's day boycott. Wait... there are male rights activists?
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Photoshop this sci-fi styled photo of London
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| (Some Cat Lover) |
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Bam Bam the cat, who went missing two months ago, is reunited with his people with a little help from Santa Claus. Welcome to a warm and fuzzy Caturday
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Maryland hospital bans mother from taking pictures of her newborn baby
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you were planning on taking a holiday in Cambodia anytime soon you might want to reconsider
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| (Some Guy) |
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How do you beef up your resume when you're an attorney, director of child services and former JAG lawyer who handled the Abu Ghraib cases? Why, you impersonate a woman on a lesbian dating site, of course
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| (KCRA) |
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If you're going to steal a car and then wreck it, be sure to take your false teeth with you before fleeing. w/ Classic mugshot goodness
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Proposal to name official state dessert of Maine gets pie in face from lawmaker who complains that dessert isn't good for you
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's the world's most appropriately named CEO
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Shooting spitwads? You better believe that's a suspendin'
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Today's Photoshop Icon: Joe "Six-Pack" Biden. (LGT inspiration)
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| Fri February 04, 2011 |
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California man stabbed to death by rooster
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Female teacher: check. Sex with five football players: check. At the same time: checking on that (with pic)
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US Justice Department: "Dear BP Fund Manager: Please hurry the fark up"
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LoJack. You know, for seniors
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| (Laughing Squid) |
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The more you know: new Starbucks Trenta size cup holds an entire bottle of wine
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Ronald Reagan believed Egyptian hieroglyphics described alien UFOs, frequently mentioned extraterrestrial invasion in speeches, didn't know how to spell 'AIDS'
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"Hello 911? Can I get in trouble for growing marijuana? Really? Okay, bye." *Knock Knock Knock*
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Most of the Cairo protesters are upbeat, though a few wind up the other way around
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| (ktvb.com) |
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Facing up to 30 years in prison, man skips sentencing hearing
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Homosexuality compared to second-hand smoking. Further study needed, perhaps a "Smoking Poll"
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Officials are worried that the Castro District is flaming... well, more flaming than usual
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This week's mugshot roundup features shame, sharpies, and the usual sexies
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Senate asks CIA why they were not told that Egypt was about to have riots. They would have baked a cake
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man banned from having sex for being too stupid. Nanny state scores one against Idiocracy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Tragic accident on Tubman Boulevard. Should have taken the subway instead
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New Orleans is becoming more Caucasian and more affluent. Heck of a job, Whitey
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Sarah Palin: "I'm going to give a speech celebrating Ronald Reagan." Ron Reagan: "You have nothing in common with my dad"
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Nobody likes a 'snitch,' but sending death threats on Facebook is a little overboard. (with snowflake mugshot goodness)
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While Kohl's does have a pretty liberal return policy, they won't take returns on reefer. Even with a receipt
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| (salem-news.com) |
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Magnetic Polar Shifts Causing Massive Global Superstorm. Looking glass. We're through it
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Second imam is out at Islamic center that will not be built in NYC near WTC site
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The Egyptian government expresses its opinion of Al Jazeera
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And now for your pre-Super Bowl amusement, here are some Texans trying to pronouce Wisconsin city names
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| (ktvb.com) |
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Are you a criminal in Idaho? There's a fee for that
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Employee responsible for the 1994 Today Show "What is the internet" viral fired for the leak
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| (Some Guy) |
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Valet takes car for joyride. Where have I heard this before? Anyone? Anyone?
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Welcome to Florida's famous beaches: If the sharks don't get you, the jellyfish will. "It is wall-to-wall man-of-war"
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Schools un-enroll the dumbest students just before standardized tests are taken to boost overall scores. Simpsons did it?
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| (Some Down Dog) |
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Showboat Casino Hotel become's Atlantic City's first dog-friendly casino. Obviously, your dog wants to play poker
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Not News: Lewis & Clark Law School offers its unemployed alumni access to job posting board. Fark: The password to access the board is "fail8ure"
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Arizona Gov. Brewer's budget for 2011. Cut spending on: health care, education, technology. Increase spending on: Prisons
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Signs God wants you to move: Eight cars in six years hit your house
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Some people just have that 'inappropriate sexual contact with a minor' look about them (w/ mug)
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Kindergarten kid gets $350,000 for being the least liked, most unwanted kid in class
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Theme: I do not think it means what you think it means
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Arch Bishop Fox News condemns Obama for reading from an unapproved biblical translation
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Excited nerdy guy lists five reasons why the James Webb Space Telescope is awesome. Bonus: Explains why spending billions on big budget science is worth it even when we still have problems on Earth using a Sports Center metaphor
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The best of sexual harassment stock photography is here to titillate you, awkwardly massage your shoulders
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SCIENTISTS DISCOVER GENE THAT MAY PREVENT BLINDNESS
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The next thing to be outsourced to China? Marine One
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"Fat cancers" effecting developing countries. You're welcome
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By bankrolling Al-Jazeera, tiny little Qatar has now become the most influential country in the Arab world
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| (Aspen Times) |
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"Motion to Dismiss: The Constitutionality of 'Douche Bag.'
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| (Yup, India Daily) |
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What happens when we die? Do we see an electromagnetic flux pointer in a higher dimension of the hyperspace? Travel tunnel of singularity guiding into the hyperspace that brings the continuity into the hyperspace civilization that we belong to?
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NM's Governor tells citizens the state is just plumb out of electricity and natural gas at the moment, urges everyone to put on an extra sweater or two and huddle up real close together for the next couple a days
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| (TechDirt) |
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Guy facing 2-4 years in prison for operating an unauthorized ISP after he shares his WiFi with two neighbors
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Sorry you're in a wheelchair, but our manuals say you're going to have to walk
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After spending every day by Gabrielle Giffords' side, her husband says he just needs some space
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Problem: You want to become a grandmother but your daughter is single. Solution: Hire a guy to rape her
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Each day, the crisis is costing Egypt $310 million, or $110 million more per day than Obama's 2010 trip to India
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US in talks with Mubarak about his departure from power. Talks expected to go something like: "How does RIGHT NOW work for you? If not, can you do 'immediately'?"
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Old and busted: the tramp-stamped whorebot look. New hotness: women dressing like it's 1949
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| (Some Cop) |
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Man asks police to investigate theft from his girlfriend's bra. I'll dust for prints
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| (Some Guy) |
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Vatican says the Pope can't pass along any organs because he might become the first Nazi saint, or something
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Nanny state indeed. Woman makes pub burglar sit in the corner to think about what he did until police arrive
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Some people are entrepreneurs, and make their own fortune. Then you have this jerk, that looks for any violation of the ADA he can find in order to sue local businesses. That's just how he rolls
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Finally, no more need for human contact. Scientists develop the "cyberhug"
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Snow 'suspected' in roof collapses. It wasn't like submitter's mom was hopping up and down on the dang things
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What would you do with say, $186,000,000,000?
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It breathes through its anus. Hey Let's make it a delicacy
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Naked lesbian topless cheerleaders and now that I have your attention, here's the Fark Weird News Quiz
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| (Van Sun) |
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You sound fat, eh
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| (Some Guy) |
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Larry the Cable Guy has a show on The History Channel. Oh, but Idiocracy is just a movie, right? Sure, keep telling yourself that
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This week's Friday Photo Fun: Match the arrestee with their occupation (a horseshoer?). Ends 6 p.m. EST
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| (Some Guy) |
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Only bottoms can get out of Turkish military service
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The U.S. Navy is pleased to announce that no submarines were located in the farmer's field
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Remember that part when we said the coins were each entirely clad in .999 pure silver actually recovered from beneath the ashes of ground zero? Well, about that
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Facebook's birthday is today. That you're reading this and not poking a loser from high school you haven't even thought of in years proves you still have hope
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Zombie deer in Wisconsin seek human hosts
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mom delivering meals-on-wheels saves elderly man from burning home. Your mom can barely put out her cigarette long enough to cook a TV dinner
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| (Some Little Guy) |
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Photoshop this gator grab
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| (WFAA.com) |
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A sand truck overturns in Fort Worth on... wait for it... Sandy Lane
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| (Some Decent Guy) |
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Christians form human shield so Muslims can pray safely during Cairo madness. WWJD? THIS
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Louie, a pot-bellied crossbreed, negotiates dog agility courses with ease (w/ pics)
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Apparently people playing with other people's pickles at Pickle Park is a problem
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| (Some Guys) |
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Photoshop these dressed up divers
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When its cold out, sometimes you just want to sit and relax by a roaring fire INSIDE YOUR AWESOME SNOW FORT (pics)
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North Carolina DOT chief engineer wants citizen criminally charged for disagreeing with his agency. Not because the criticism was wrong -- because it was right
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The coolest picture you'll see all day
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| (Some Boob) |
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12-year-old discovers Valentine's Day candy heart with the message "Nice Tits" on it. Her parents are vowing to stay abreast of their candy from now on
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| Thu February 03, 2011 |
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Dating website launches with 250K Facebook profiles, obviously with explicit permission from each user
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Holocaust historian not happy that Glenn Beck keeps comparing political opponents to Nazis, Anne Frankly she's not going to take it anymore
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Toddler's finger severed in freak escalator accident. Mother says they will take steps to make sure it doesn't happen again
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Biologists say oysters are "functionally extinct", delicious
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"How to Build a Progressive Tea Party." Next up: A conservative ACLU, an atheist Religious Right, Christian Freethinkers, smart journalists
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20-year-old son of jailed former Enron President Jeff Skilling has been found dead in his Southern California apartment
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If you insist that the Tea Party is only concerned about fiscal responsibility and has no intentions of legislating morality, then you haven't read this article
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Don't speak English? That'll be a 15% foreign-language surcharge on your bill
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Algeria decides they don't want to be next on the Revolution Tour as their President announces he is giving up the Emergency Powers he has held for 19 years
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In the latest attack on foreign reporters: ABC News reporter Brian Hartman and his cameraman threatened with beheading in Egypt
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Supporters of medical marijuana ban find opposition much higher than expected
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New Zealand politician addresses his detractors on Facebook: "Shut up, dickheads"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police in Boulder, Colo., announce they will not be arresting cookie-selling Girl Scouts. Good to know
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| (The PoPo) |
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You spot a police bait car with valuables inside. Do you C) steal all the stuff and come back to torch the car
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Photoshop this nightmarish sea-horse
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Finally, vodka with flavour: "Partisans may swear there's a difference between Grey Goose and Ketel One, but really"
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The guy who invented the jet-powered helicopter, the Ovation guitar, and started a guide dog foundation has died at 91. Well done, sir
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Even George W. Bush is getting scared of the white people
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Reporter to Rupert Murdoch: Would you hire Keith Olbermann? Rupert Murdock: "No. We fired him once, we don't believe in firing people twice"
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Doofus Bay Area hipsters decide to eat some roadkill and then write about it
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You may soon be able to perform manicures and fix your glasses while flying
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| (Scouting NY) |
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If you ever wondered where your lost keys are, this guy found them
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| (Turbo Boost) |
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Knight Foundation: A shadowy flight into a dangerous company funding labs in a world of criminals who operate above the law
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Straight out of the 'Ya Think?' file: Hoteliers fear tourism will 'suffer badly' in Egypt
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What are we doing to day Brain? Same thing we do every day Pinky, TRY TO SNIFF OUT TERRORISTS
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| (Albany Times Union) |
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When your favorite bartender is terminally ill, you bring the bar to him for one last toast. Also, he's not going anywhere until after the Super Bowl
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"First Ever" Tea Party town hall draws the kind of crowd that you'd expect. (w/ priceless pic)
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| (Daily Telegraph) |
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Guy found sleeping in his underwear at local park in -5C survived by not being merely drunk, but by being super drunk to the tune of 30 times the legal limit
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Pakistan again talks of Iran's gas -- which isn't surprising considering they're downwind
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Productivity is the highest in eight years because you are now doing the job of three people
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Burka ban imposed in German state of Hesse. Details to the left, Godwin to the Reich
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Canadian government to intervene in decision to end unlimited internet plans. Yeah, goverment intervention ALWAYS makes things better
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ethnic Stereotype sues paper for depicting him as an ethnic stereotype by pointing out actions taken by him that may or may not be ethnically stereotypical
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GOP gives up on redefining what rape rape is
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If you're on trial for killing your wife, it's probably not a good idea to call your children to testify. They usually don't tell the jury that you were an awesome dad
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| (Some Guy) |
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The coolest art made from duct tape you will see all week
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| (ksat.com) |
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Cold temperatures freeze water pipes. Ric Romero reportedly dumbfounded
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The time has come for child seats on airplanes, preferably of the ejector variety
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Utah State students sing "I'm a little teapot" to throw off free throw shooter -- and it works
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16,500 year old cemetery shows pets we kept before dogs, subby is hoping for mammoth
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The news media has learnt that blaming real-life problems on Internet interactions gets run-of-the-mill stories picked up by wire services
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Six weird things that influence bad behavior more than laws
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Russian spy Chapman trademarks her name, promptly sues Fark and all other news aggregator websites
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| (wtsp.com) |
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Man gets four years in prison for Jackass inspired car surfing death. With a mug shot for your Florida collection
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1) Write book on abundant living. 2) Get rich. 3) Lose all your money. 4) Write book on losing all your money. 5) Profit again?
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Greatest judges in the history of the universe rule that websites offering free porn do not represent unfair competiton to paid porn site operators
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Good news for sweet home Alabama -- a species of ant has figured out how to mate siblings without getting any interesting genetic deformities
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| (Some Guy) |
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Fifth grader kicked out of interpretive dance competition because the song contained "too much Jesus" to rise again. Faaaaabulous
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New thrill ride. Zipline over live alligators. What could go wrong?
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| (wtsp.com) |
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Ever wonder how much panhandlers make? About $8.50 an hour and an ice cream sammich
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"What's in the cardboard box?" "Oh just some old vase that I'm looking to get rid of. Is it worth anything?"
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Daddies and daughters get along better with some "Call of Duty" rather than Barbie
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Guess who failed a SEC audit? If you guessed the SEC, you are correct
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CBS executives faced with a terrible dilemma: Continue making money hand over fist, or cancel "Two and a Half Men" to demonstrate their disapproval and concern over Charlie Sheen's immoral, self-destructive behavior?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Five years late, but when your obit asks for a "sizable purchase at your local ABC store" and is censored in two places by the local rag, and your ashes are fired from a cannon, you have lived an exemplary life
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Thief breaks into house to charge cell phone -- which he leaves behind
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Man convicted of murdering Chandra Levy asking for a new trial on claims of improper closing arguments by prosecutors. You know, closing arguments, the part where you try to convince the jury the guy is guilty
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Fireworks destroy a five star hotel in China with awesome picture of an 800 foot skyscraper in flames
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Vodafone says Egyptian authorities forced them to send text messages appealing for pro-government protestors to rally
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In Yemen, planned "Day of Rage" protests quickly fizzle into more of a "mid-afternoon of being slightly peeved"
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A reading of Rumsfeld's new autobiography reveals new insights into a man older and wiser after years of reflection, a man who can now admit his mistakes and still say with certainty that he was right
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Your power is out? That's a fee increase. I mean we have to keep making money even if you're not using our electricity. Duh
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Modern dating is now best summarized with this double reality: Men are becoming women, and women are becoming men
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That totally innocent Planned Parenthood worker who was framed in that Live Action video, who did nothing wrong and whose actions in no way represented Planned Parenthood, has been fired
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The average high school kid today has the same level of anxiety as the average psychiatric patient in the early 1950s
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| (Gwinnett Daily Post) |
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Goose decides to show just how badass it is by not only surviving being run through with an arrow, but evading animal control for almost six months with the arrow still impaled through its body
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Federal authorities have finally realized that the mere existence of Oakland, California violates all kinds of laws
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Photoshop this old wrecker
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Harvard proves that "fat, drunk and stupid" may not be for everyone
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James Madison chess pieces unearthed at Va. estate
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The clashes in Tahir Square last night proved that the pro-government attackers were determined, well-equipped, and well-organized. The good news is, that it also proved that, for once, so were the good guys
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Vintage posters highlight a century of innovation, slacking off in class
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Israel finds old church with mosaics of fish, lions, peacocks....what? You forgot the Holy Peacock?
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At least they aren't calling the kid Frosty
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| (WXXA (Albany NY)) |
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Roof collapses at Skyway Roofing
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| (wtsp.com) |
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Best video you will see all day of a trapped burglar trying to get out of a bakery storeroom
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| (Some Guy) |
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Justin Bieber gets a traditional New York greeting while sitting courtside at the Knicks game
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: Palm trees, sunshine, and bikinis year round. News: Temps hover in the 80's while the nation is buried under snow. Fark: Still the 2nd most miserable city in America
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| (Some Guy) |
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Match.com buys OkCupid for 50 million. OkCupid's blog post on why you should never ever pay for a dating site disappears. Except for on Google's cache
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Super Bowl XLV will be the first without cheerleaders since Super Bowl II . How will the fans know how to root for their team?
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Apparently deciding that the vice-ridden Sodom and Gemmorah of "Boardwalk Empire" still seems like a nicer place to visit than the depressed hell-hole it has become; Atlantic City eagerly embracing a a Roaring 20's nostalgia kick
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| (LaCrosse Trib) |
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Drunk and attempting castrations is no way to pick up men
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America, land of the brave, home of the free, and also incidentally a major innovator in the eugenics movement
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Five disgruntled readers are suing Jimmy Carter for publishing "numerous false and knowingly misleading statements" in his book, "Palestine Peace Not Apartheid." Wait, we can sue for that? I'm coming for you, Glenn
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| (Some Guy) |
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In a bid to force adult children to visit their elderly parents, said parents can now bring suit against them if they don't show up often enough. Great way to promote harmony in families, guys
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| (Journal Star) |
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Fark-ready headline "Man dressed as Breathalyzer sentenced to jail for DUI"
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Massive riots in Tunisia and Egypt, Sudan splitting in two, and now a "Day of Rage" in Yemen. Middle East sure is looking stable right about now
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Send in the fire department, stop the train. WE HAVE A BEER-MERGENCY
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| (Some Guy) |
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"That's not careless smoking, that's stupid smoking." Oh yeah? Well, it's easy to sit in judgement, mister bigshot fireman who would NEVER use a hole in the floor as HIS ashtray
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| (Totallycoolpix) |
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Pictures Egypt Protests: Anti-Mubarak vs Pro-Mubarak Riots
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Please fasten your seat belts, and put your seat in the upright position. Here are the top 10 scariest airplane landings. (videos)
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| (Las Vegas Sun) |
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The Stig's Nevadan cousin has been arrested for that $1.5M casino robbery
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| (Some Guy) |
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With the world still focused on developments in Egypt, Iran takes this opportunity to execute a bunch more people
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New gene test could revolutionize treatment for prostate cancer (with helpful pic of the revolution)
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If you've been smuggling cell phones to Charles Manson, the California Department of Corrections would like you to stop
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Tests show hugs can make you feel better -- especially when you're naked and greased up
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Really Reuters, Obama halo?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this captivating chameleon
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The Kryptos, the Voynich Manuscript, the Taman Shud, and other great, uncracked codes
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On-going O.B. tampon shortage has users seeing red
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Michigan bar fight ends with an ear bitten off. Cops listen to audio tape for applicable sound bites
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Cop threatens prisoners with tasering ... their testicles
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| (Some Guy) |
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Another day, another seven-year-old, Nerf-gun-wielding student charged with a misdemeanor. God Bless America
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X-ray shows danger of peeling an apple with a sharp pointy object
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 300: "Vote Whoring". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed February 02, 2011 |
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Protip: If you are going to rob a bank, don't run right past the police station. Police officers work there
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| (Some Guy) |
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The City of Austin is renaming the Solid Waste Services Department. Do your part in helping the right one win
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| (Some Guy) |
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You should avoid cleaning yourself with body wash that contains alcohol while burning cooking-fuel cans to stay warm behind a grocery store
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Holy shiat. Things are getting really real right now in Egypt. Live video AJ feed. Scary shiat with live gunfire etc
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Just seven months after they got married, Chelsea Clinton and her husband have decided to spend three months apart
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man sets record for earning hero tag with least effort when he calls police after hearing a robbery over the phone while ordering from Pizza Hut
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Death Toll from the Category-5 Mega Cyclone in Australia currently stands at negative three
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Eh hu hhh huh hhuh huh
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hosptialized Zsa Zsa get visit from husband who collapses in hospital and is hospitalized. Hospital
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"No, Your Honor, I don't read Sutter Cane"
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Spare some change Sir? Or maybe your name and SSN? Bless you Sir
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Lets see, local cops did another hooker round-up. Let's take a look at the....by the hammer of Thor, that face can't be unseen
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Denver Public Schools decides to stay open in sub-zero temperatures, students not sure about attending. Back in subby's day, onion/belt, uphill etc
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Protip: in sub-zero weather, don't try to warm your tractor-trailer's engine with lit charcoal, it's a potential fire hazard
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Mexican inmate gets Botox injections, presumably in an attempt to appear as sexually unattractive as possible
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| (Some Sinner) |
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Atheist students at UTSA offer porn in exchange for Bibles in a "smut for smut" campaign. For some reason, people have a problem with this
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop theme: Add insult to injury
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Debt collectors are still trying to get people to pay fees owed to Hollywood Video, which went bankrupt over a year ago
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| (KVUE) |
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Today's "SPCA siezes 300 animals from a ranch" comes to you from Coryell County, Texas
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| (Houston Press) |
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Ever wondered how edible panties taste? Professional chefs taste-test and recommend edible "adult products" for Valentine's Day
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Just remember, if you're a councilwoman in central Pennsylvania and you suggest that maybe people shouldn't be allowed to bring guns to the meeting, you stand the chance that a bunch of people will show up at the meeting with guns
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| (Some Guy) |
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Are you a man who thinks Mona Lisa is pretty? You're gay
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Arson - so easy a Caveman could do it
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| (Some Joker) |
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The best picture of a "Dark Knight" inspired wedding cake you'll see today
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Neighbor who taunted dying girl to move as part of plea deal
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88-year-old man can Nazi why he's being deported for something that happened in 1942
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Word of a campus shooter shuts down Michigan town
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The people who did that big red light camera study can't even tell you how many cameras were installed in the areas studied. Remember, ¢amera$ $ave £ive$
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Anna Nicole Smith: The Opera. Ya rly. With video goodness
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Remember the lady that tried to mail a dog yesterday? Yeah, she wants her money back
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Future cars may be made of mushrooms, which will be useful when driving through rainbow fog and your eyes turn into upside-down floating dolphin spaghetti
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Coffee makes women smarter, men dumber
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hey, wanna see a 100-year-old death threat?
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20-mile long school of 100,000 sharks seen off Florida beaches. w/vid
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San Francisco to become the first city in the nation to ban Yellow Pages
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Remember the Chevy Volt? The car that was supposed to single-handedly save GM? Chevy sold exactly 326 of them during its first month on sale
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| (Some Guy) |
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Step 1: Steal 7,000 coupons from your mail route. Step 2: Sell them on eBay. Step 3: "Put on these adjoined bracelets, please"
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Ask your doctor about prescription "Purple Drank"
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| (Fosters.com) |
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Today's group claiming that Ronald McDonald is the Devil comes to us from New Hampshire. Live Free Or Risk Fat Kids
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7 other friends have cursed Governor Lamido. [Curse] [Like]
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But seriously, who could resist having a quick stroke once their hamster is inserted?
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Won't someone think of the people on LSD?
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| (Cape Gazette) |
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Environmentalist nutjob lawyer: We must take action now to protect squirrels from rising sea level. Biologist: Squirrels can walk faster than sea level can rise
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| (fox chicago) |
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Man takes snowblower to roof, needs more hobbies
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nice: Today is National Signing Day when high school football players commit to the college of their choice. Overkill: Bama has a web cam set up on their fax machine so fans can see when the commit letters come in
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Mayor wants every person who dumped snow in his river fired or criminally charged even if that means he has to drive city snow plows himself
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Thinking that the venom sacks were removed, man's new pet cobra sends him to the hospital
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Survey of 3,000 airline cabin crew reveals that, yes, passengers can be incredibly stupid
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Band cancel gig, blame "faulty" breathalyzers after half their under-18 fans test drunk at the door. Then again, this was in Scotland
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Photoshop this stoppie-kiss
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| (Some Guy) |
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Things you buy female employees on their birthday: Flowers, chocolates, vibrators, that sort of thing
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Brazil, home to Carnival and the Sambadrome, is considering adding a "right to happiness " to their constitution, followed by a right to "dat ass"
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How police assign blame: Bicyclist drove into truck, driver not at fault. How newspapers assign blame: She was pretty and smiled and he was an illegal immigrant, driver at fault
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Man discovers that Mayor Bloomberg has taken his anti-smoking campaign up a notch as he goes to the store for smokes and gets a body cavity search instead
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Can't balance the budget? Just send everyone home for four days
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Police painfully aware they are on the lookout for hardened criminals after thieves fail to steal Oxycontin and settle for Viagra instead
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Moose has been found - Squirrel still missing
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'Graphic violence, nudity and art - together at last' (NSFW)
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Dating website survey finds 73 percent of the women say they'd rather watch the Super Bowl than have sex. Obviously because the pregame is really hyped up but the end result always seems to disappoint
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| (Irish Times) |
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Over 200 Tunisians killed in uprising. That's like 18.5 white people, or 1 Natalee Holloway
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| (The Engineer) |
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Wearing gloves to avoid leaving prints? You'll leave prints inside the gloves. Unless you wear another pair, but then [Infinite Recursion Error]
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| (wtvr) |
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Not news: Woman finds out her house has been destroyed by fire. FARK: From a TV reporter during a live newscast (w/video)
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The definition of irony: Woman crashes into her insurance office
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A handful of Mubarak supporters on horseback and camelback attack the gaint mob of anti-government protestors with whips and clubs. Things end about how you'd expect
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Remember the DEA officer who shot himself in the foot with an unloaded weapon in front of a bunch of kids? Yea, he's suing the government. (with video goodenss)
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Man makes some sort of statement by showing up at ex-partner's murder trial dressed as Pennywise
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| (wtsp.com) |
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Apparently, being able to stand in a tree stand without falling is not a requirement for Fish and Wildlife officers
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If one 14 year old girl pays $75 for a lip stud, how many minutes will it take before she's thrown out of math class?
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"What's the news in the local paper honey?" "Well, the Shriners are having a rummage sale, The firehouse is having a pancake supper, oh, and old Mr. Spencer apparently commited a Klan murder in '64"
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"Terrifyingly, it is indeed a fact that British universities will nowadays issue a 'Bachelor of Science' degree in herbal and homeopathic medicine"
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Scottish man wakes up to discover the Government have given him a surprise sex change
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After 25 drinks, I'm surprised she knew whose name it was he was shouting out
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The "customer service" agent who made you reboot the cable modem four times before putting you on hold just killed a guy
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Apparently those Somali pirates really like the ships they hijack. Possibly a bit more than is healthy
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Better football through chemistry? The Packers and Steelers each have 13 300lb+ players on their rosters. In 1980, there were only three in the entire league
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PETA's new 'Veggie Love' ad may be a bit too much for Super Bowl. Lettuce hope not. (pics)
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The Right-Wing Nut's Guide to Egypt includes everything from Bill Ayers to the coming Islamic Antichrist
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Exorcist priest admits to 'violations of chastity' with adult woman. The hell you say
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| (Some Guy) |
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Rope to tie people up? $20. 5000 stolen tabs of Oxy? $1mil. Getting caught on surveillance cam wearing your "$5 Footlong ↓" t-shirt? Priceless
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