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| Sun September 26, 2010 |
| (Luxist) |
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Following record prices for gold and silver, copper hits $258 million a pound
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Mortal combat over friendship results in a fatality
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Woman says her privacy was invaded after a pic of her riding the bus ends up online. Article complete with picture of the woman with purple hair and tats who doesn't want attention
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember that Seattle cartoonist who got in over her head when she urged everyone to draw Mohammed? She's 'gone ghost'
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Q: How many dead Buddhists can you fit in a toolshed? A: Nun
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wang to wed DeCock
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Someone needs to develop public relations disaster avoidance technology for Volvo
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Photoshop this multi-tasking mom
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By law schools must improve every year. Schools that don't advance from 99% to 100% proficiency may be abolished and students sent to better schools that jumped from 50% to 55% as required
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American Elevator 1. Scottish Blokes 0
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Grammar Nazi's have it bad these days
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| (Some Guy) |
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A Buddhist Monk in China prayed 3000 times a day for 20 years in the same spot. He made footprints in the wood he was standing on
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| (Some Guy) |
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Two men loched up and headed up the river for streaming sex with underage girl. Dam
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Measure to curb teenage drinking fails to curb teenage drinking
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The scary part of this article is that you only have to score 50% on exams to earn a degree in nuclear medicine
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| (Some Guy) |
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Old and Busted: Prenup. New Hotness: Divorce insurance
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| (Some Guy) |
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Five people sent to hospital after...moped crash?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this free falling escape artist
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Teachers using tasers on students isn't child abuse, it's a valuable disciplinary tool to ensure control and help with concentration
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| (Springfield News Sun) |
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Today's FARK-ready headline: "Woman charged with stealing underwear, cheese"
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Fearsome 6'3" Hells Angel slaps frail 66-year-old man in pub. Then the power of beer takes over
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China's one child policy turns 30, upset it never had a brother to play catch with
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Neo-Nazi discovers he has a little Jew inside of him, also known as the Soon-Yi effect
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| (Some Standard Chick) |
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Protip: When apprenticing in car thievery business it is best to learn to drive a standard transmission lest you steal one and then attract the attention of the police
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The UN to appoint Earth contact for aliens. His name: Brannigan, Zapp Brannigan
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| (Some Cliff Diver) |
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"When the police come, give this to them"
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Cigarette butts will no longer be on the list of things that Philippine doctors leave inside their patients
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Not News: Man dies of cancer. News: He was a secret millionaire. Great News: He donates his estate to charity. Funny News: Including the University of Kansas. Fark: $800K still isn't enough for courtside basketball tickets
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First rescue capsule arrives at Chilean mine, with helpful map of San Jose, California
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Killer party last night in L.A
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SA Kingston, Ontario boy holds a yard sale to buy a headstone for his deceased father. Ultra Spiffy: word gets out and well, let just say pass me a tissue
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Australia faces worst plague of locusts since accurate record keeping started. EVERYBODY PANIC
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this airplane and its pilot
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Women apologize more frequently than men. I'm sorry if you submitted this with a better headline
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Samurai deli - The sequel
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Tackle Me Elmo
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| Sat September 25, 2010 |
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Five shot, one confirmed dead at a shooting at an off-campus party near Seton Hall University
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Since 1995, police in the UK have only killed 33 people, or about a third the number Texas cops kill every year. USA USA USA
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| (Some Hungry Guy) |
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Pharmacist goes on hunger strike to keep his boss from killing you
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What do a childcare facility and a whorehouse have in common? Ask the Toronto couple who ran both simultaneously out of their house
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100 person brawl breaks out in Sandwich. Mmm, 100 person sandwich
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It's as if the SS Minnow were rescued and the police found Gilligan and Ginger enjoying a bonfire, naked
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If you're a university official who is planning to dodge "open records" laws by deleting an email you sent, don't spell out your intentions to do so in the same email
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Don't paint me, bro
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Man removes knife from his head after three years. Well, better late than never, I suppose
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Baristas share tips on how to save money at Starbucks. Not spending $4 on a cup of burnt swill surprisingly absent
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Old and busted: Frankensalmon. New Hotness: EnviroPig
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this old-timey phone booth installation
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Food nazis raise the alert to Defcon 1: the Snack Wrap as big as a burrito coming
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A-10 Warthog-styled Monster Truck that shoots t-shirts is "everything right with America"
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Turns out that Native Americans are just the same as the rest of humanity
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Weird news quiz. Subby missed one, but only because #9 is a trick question
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Pedant notes that sign language can't beat real words
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| (Fenceviewer) |
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Mom always said picking up hitchhikers was dangerous, but failed to add "especially if they're seagulls"
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While illegally harvesting protected shellfish, poacher gets legally harvested by a great white shark
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| (Betty) |
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Not News: Parolee robs pizza shop. Fark: While wearing his GPS tether
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Prosecutor insists exonerated teacher still guilty of sexual assault despite lack of evidence and being cleared by a security tape
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| (Some Guy) |
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Octomom auctioning of nursing bra expected to flop
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Woman killed while attempting to enter 10-year-old boy's bedroom...through the roof
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The Paster and Congregation are not Responsible for anyone that handles the serpent's and get's bit. If you get bit the church will stand by you and pray with you. And the same goes with drinking the poision
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NPR's Planet Money bought a toxic asset for $1000 and named it "Toxie" and followed it closely, as a way of unraveling the recent econopocalypse. Less than a year later, Toxie is dead, killed by loan modifications
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| (The New Florida) |
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Mugshot Hall of Fame candidate, sharing news page with stories about GTA at a strip club and police seizure of 5000 pot plants...why is there no Oregon tag on Fark?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Just in time for Halloween: Build your own rocketpack. All you need is a backpack, some duct tape, and a fire extinguisher. Needed but not mentioned: a helmet, pads, a current medical insurance policy and a friend with a video camera
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In an attempt to avoid default, the city of Harrisburg charges zombies $450 to walk the streets
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British postman jailed for eight years for delivering the male to 1,000 kids on Facebook
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Boy forgets his bicycle helmet, so dad gives chase to deliver it, forgetting his own helmet. Three brain hemorrhages, a heart attack, a broken neck and back, eight broken ribs and a two-week coma ensue
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| (Some Guy) |
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Drunk man with 10 arrest warrants calls asking for a free ride since he was out of money. The police officer manning the phones was more than happy to be of service
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| (Some Guy) |
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While you weren't looking, El Salvador elevated dodgeball to the Best. Sport. Ever.
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Local police are asking the public to give them drugs. Lots of drugs
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Authorities say couple are lucky to have survived after becoming lost in... well, the picture looks like a rather idyllic sheep pasture
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police raid man's home and arrest him for illegal consumption of sashimi
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| (New Kerala) |
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Fan tattoos his penis as tribute to his team. What a prick
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Photoshop this rough ride
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| (KPTV) |
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Found him
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Four two-week old kittens are found abandoned in a taped-shut pet carrier. Nicknamed Arugula, Endive, Radicchio, and Romaine by adoption center staff, they are recovering nicely. Lettuce welcome them to Caturday
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When firefighters rescue you from a burning building it is wise to not run back into the building to be rescued a second time
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Train kills seven elephants in India. Local Hindus up in arms
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Chimpanzee loses all his hair to alopecia. The Sun is there
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Navy helicopter pilots get caught hot-doggin' in Lake Tahoe with $33 million MH-60 Romeo helicopters, causing $500,000 in damage after 'dipping' them in the lake
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75-year-old neighbor throws seedpod at pregnant woman, hits her with stick. Then things get weird
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| (Some Guy) |
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Step 1: Plan an elaborate prank in which you make your co-workers believe Justin Bieber is coming to their restaurant. Step 2: ??? Step 3: Get fired
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Demolition company to finish the job that Dan Aykroyd and John Belushi started
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Orlando PD promises to review takedown techniques after breaking an 84-year-old's neck. "An 84-year-old can kill officers too...can cold cock them right in the face"
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| Fri September 24, 2010 |
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Photoshop this man and his puppet being arrested by police
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Want to buy a bottle of wine at Tesco? You had better have an ID for your eight year old
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Megachurch pastor has his very own Fab Four
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| (KSAT) |
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After being pushed around for years, tackling dummy finally gets revenge and stabs football player
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7-Up, man down
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Man arrested for pimping out his intellectually retarded girlfriend. Police say the victim was slow to come forward
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| (Some Guy) |
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There are a lot of problems with using a kid as your lookout during a crime, not the least of which is that they're terrible at spotting surveillance cameras
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It's time to bone up on your knowledge of criminals with the Mugshot Roundup
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| (Some Guy) |
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Medical helicopter forced to make emergency landing after contact with vulture, and this time it wasn't a malpractice attorney
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| (Some Guy) |
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Biggest whiner in the world gets pulled over by two female cops in bikinis, ends up getting out of a ticket, and still complains to the police department. "I was very angry; I was shaking"
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Good news, Farkers. Recovery from porn addiction is possible. (With pic of what recovery from porn addiction may look like)
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Loosening of California marijuana laws have led to record-low number of killings, increased sales of couches
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Airborne laser being tested for US Missile Defense Agency goes off-target due to software glitch that KENT STOP TOUCHING YOURSELF
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Britain raises Irish terror threat level from Lime Green to Forest Green
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Guy who killed himself at Harvard posted 1,904 page suicide note online, featuring a chapter entitled "The Seditious Genius of the Spiritual Penis of Jesus"
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| (KSAT) |
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Pricipal . Caught sayof school that has stoped Traintracksing. "She, I'm on a cellphone" Is She dead or not. KSAT Says yes. El Paso Troopers looking for car parts, or "hello, she disregarded the signal and failed to wait"
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Famed Obama 'Hope' poster artist losing hope. Will work for food, change
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U.S. military secretly seeking Sikhs
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Queen of the Sea
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Customs agents grab counterfeit detergent in Wash. Article doesn't say which cycle
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'Sea snot' explodes near BP spill disaster site, threatening marine ecosystem. Site still less snotty than a BP chairmen reunion
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| (Some Guy) |
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REMINDO LASTO: Houston Fark party Sept. 25 8 p.m. at the Velvet Melvin on Richmond
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| (Some Guy) |
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The top ten lies your teachers told you in school
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In 1973 Obama's mentor Bill Ayers dedicated a book to Sirhan Sirhan, Bobby Kennedy's murderer. In 2010, Ayers sought emeritus status from the University of Illinois board, chaired by RFK's son. Awkward
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| (Some Guy) |
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While you do your holiday shopping this year at the Dollar Store, Porsche came out with a million dollar advent calendar
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We've replaced this American flag with a stuffed hippopotamus. Let's see if anyone notices
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| (Sandusky Register) |
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Wooden roller coasters are extra-scary when on fire
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Freddy Kruger had Victorian sensibilities
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| (Some Guy) |
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Suicide cow causes meat truck to explode in flames
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| (Wis-TV) |
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Remember the cop that was fired for taking his patrol car to a bikini carwash? One of the women in the photo was a cop too. Guess which one
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| (Some Baldist) |
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Having solved all other problems, Japan invents a hot tub hat
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We knew the coffee at McDonald's is sometimes lethally hot, but we didn't know the chicken sandwiches could explode
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Big Shot Bob's House of Wings was the toast of the town until "black on black crime" was added to the menu
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Michigan candidate not sure where Obama was born or if he's a Muslim. Other than that, he'll make really good decisions if you vote for him
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Friday Photo Fun from the guys at TSG. What do these lovely ladies do when not getting arrested? Contest ends at 6pm Eastern
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Megan McCain backs out of a scheduled date on her book tour because of conflicting "professional responsiblities," then tweets that she's going to "Sin City with her favorite group of sinners." Awkward
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Samoan clerics finger homosexuals over global warming"
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| (Some Guy) |
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A 23-year-old British woman with a multitude of body piercings and tattoos said she was humiliated after a job center official suggested putting "a paper bag over your face" may help her find work. Tag is for official
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| (buzz tab) |
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Dentist caught secretly filming his patients. Police charge him with unauthorized cavity search
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| (Some; Guy) |
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Its National Punctuation Day biatch's
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man attacked by pale, sparkling undead while trying to fill Haldol perscription
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| (IndyChannel) |
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Indiana teen dies from "choking game." No word if he was wearing his Peyton Manning jersey at the time
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The Democratic administration's court brief opposing a lifting of DADT, in response to a lawsuit brought by the Log Cabin Republicans. Yes, you read it right the first time
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Today's Fark-ready headline: "Woman skydiver on trial in Belgium for love-triangle parachute murder"
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| (Some Guy) |
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According to the story, this Vice Principal was sexting with a student. According to the picture, he knows just what a Justin Bieber is
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A day after NBC's president says that Apple's 99-cent an episode rental fee would "devalue" its content, Netflix announces hundreds of NBC shows will become available for streaming, at no additional charge
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Good news, everybody. To save money we're going to let a bunch of unrehabilitated child sex predators out of prison. Wait, that's not good news at all
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Some rich guy has an opinion
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Margaret Atwood either thinks the moon landings were a hoax or she doesn't
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Jon Stewart notes that the "Pledge to America" seems somehow familiar
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| (Some Guy) |
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Officer, for the offense of driving without insurance, I hereby sentence you to dinner and a movie
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| (Trentonian) |
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Woman finds potato that looks like Jay Leno. Mouth looks more like the paint huffer guy. (with pic)
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Bill Clinton: It was Colin Powell who convinced me to implement 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Colin Powell: Lyin' cracker-ass honkey said what?
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Clevon sentenced to 2 to 4 years for missing over $500,000 in child support payments for his 23 children from 14 different women
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Sir, this is the police. We're gonna have to ask you to please stop humping the dinosaur
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For the first time since the wars started, more private military contractors than uniformed service members were killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. Or if you're a glass-half-full sort, the military's plan to outsource casualties is working
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Man smoked 292,000 cigarettes and drinks 900 bottles of whiskey, lives to be 100 years old. SUCK IT HEALTH NUTS
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Sesame Street will do a True Blood parody. COOKEH, YOU HAHVE TO DE COUNT OF FAHVE TO LEAVE THIS ALLEH
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This is what happens when you interrupt a rodeo
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Swedish officials confused by funding request from one Santos L. Halper
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Miami bank employee being held hostage with a bomb strapped to them. No word on where the hostage taker found a copy of Leonard Part VI
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In other news, somebody keeps statistics on the number of times Oktoberfest visitors hit each other in the face with beer mugs. And the number is rising
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| (Some Bonsai Guy) |
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Photoshop this Japanese maple
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Nature calls, but California state parks can't afford toilet paper
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| (Some Asgardian) |
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Thou art the God of Thunder. Doth thou A) vanquish evil, B) save Asgard or C) rob Subway?
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Nanny state labels 250,000 toddlers as racist
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Headline: "Arctic mosque lands safely in Inuvik" Holy crap, they can fly?
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Human malaria came from gorillas thousands of years ago. Dude, those guys must have been tough to swat
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| (Some Poser) |
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Photoshop Theme: Gilding the lily
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Touching yourself can help ease acute pain. Submitter hasn't felt any pain in decades
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Unemployed couple with six kids, ages 2 weeks to 7 years, outraged that council won't move them into a larger home as their free two-bedroom home is entirely too small for their brood
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Grass that was planted a year ago to stop fire erosion is now a threat to spark wildfires. "It's a tricky balance"
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Residents in a small Mexican town, fed up with the local police, decide to take matters into their own hands and catch their own criminals
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UPDATE: 1 in 5 gay, bisexual men in US cities has HIV. Nearly half are unaware of their infection
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| Thu September 23, 2010 |
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Not news: Respected world leader and noted intellectual Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says 9-11 was an inside job. Fark: To the UN General Assembly. Ultra Fark: Delegates burst into applause and cheers
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Proposed bill would give Obama the power to Shut. Down. EVERYTHING
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Federal official tries to stop a reporter from digging in the sand at the beach saying he doesn't have a permit. "Even if they wanted to build a sand castle"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this gal in a gourd
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30 of the most deadly french fries that could kill you. Coming in at No. 1 is: Chili's Texas Cheese Fries with Chili and Jalapeno, which has 2,070 calories and 64 grams of fat
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'Toilet-paper bandit' pleads guilty, hoping to wipe record clean
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Your kids may not be able to read or write but at least they'll be brainwashed enough to nag you about not driving a Prius
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Former military officers say our nuclear arsenal is being monitored by streetlights
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Not News: Teen's missing driver's license is returned. FARK: by the police officer that found it in the car he stole the night before
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You want a promotion, but there's already someone in the post you want. Do you C) plant child porn on his PC so he gets fired?
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| (Chattanooga Pulse) |
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Note to Walker County, Georgia: the Civil War is over. You guys lost. Get over it and move on
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| (KRGV) |
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School will use illegally dumped tires to build classroom, hopes added capacity will lead to a Goodyear
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"A day in the life of the trapped Chilean miners" shows they're currently living better than they did on the surface
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French fundie nudists go balls-out in fight against invading swingers. Ooh la la (Not safe for work pic)
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Town officials aren't sure if a giant purple octopus on the wall of a toy store is a sign, art, or proof that you're on mushrooms
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Candidate for Blago's old job says Illinois should legalize, tax marijuana, given that America already thinks Illinois must be smoking something
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Along with its Governor, the N.J. state workforce is the third most-bloated in the country
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NJ man faces 20 years for taking his wife. Please
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| (orlando) |
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Woman forgets to send her son to school. For 64 days
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Kevin Costner to testify before Congress today to urge it to adopt an emergency oil spill response plan. Critics of the plan say that while it is trechnically impressive, it is also too expensive, too long, and the ending is a bit predictable
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It turns out the reason the water from the drinking fountain at your work has tasted so funny for the last five years is because it's connected to the heating, ventilation and air conditioning system
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Never bring a Bear to a zucchini fight
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Some people who fall behind at work get demoted. Some get fired. But a month in jail is unusual
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| (Some Guy) |
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Two brothers fend off carjackers in their driveway and call police; Prince George's County police do the predictable thing - beat the brothers and kill the family dog
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It never looks good when you're waiting for a liver transplant and you get busted for driving drunk more than four times the legal limit
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The woman that faked the acid attack has been charged with three counts of theft from people or companies, and being a dumbass
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In ten years, 75 percent of Americans will be fat. USA USA U... gonna eat that?
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Bad news for the kid that found the sticky, icky-tasting used balloon on the floor of his hotel room
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Deaf victim breaks silence, sues pope
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Top tourists spots: Hawaii, Florida, Rome, Chernobyl, Paris...wait, wat?
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Queen Elizabeth is Royally broke
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Joe Biden faces a backlash from both sides of the aisle for his comments about Tea Party Republicans. In other words, it's just like every other time he opens his mouth
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President Obama is planning on dropping in on a few backyards, grabbing a beer, shooting some hoops, and having a scripted casual conversation on health care and the economy with real Americans (TM)
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Vampire bats kills fifth child in Peru. The real story is actually scarier than what you're imagining right now
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Seems that the trifecta for seducing teenage boys has been completed. Oh yeah, it also seems the anti-gay megachurch pastor has a corner on this market
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Not news: Man loses house in foreclosure. Fark: He paid cash for for the house
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Photoshop this demonic dancer
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cop helps a broken down motorist so you should automatically honk, flip him off and flash him, setting into motion the continually weirdest police chase this week
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Why life in Hawaii leads to early death (curiously, article doesn't just say "Spam" and call it a day)
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If you can think of a better way to attract tourists to Australia than a naked Oprah Winfrey, we'd love to hear it
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China threatens world supply of 4G toilets that are shaped like a banana with breasts that dispense Hentai by halting shipments of rare minerals to Japan
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| (Some Guy) |
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Winner of poster contest to promote copyright protection totally plagiarized his poster
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Stand in front of your home in NYC? That's a ticket for trespassing
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Does your Russian wizard have a medical degree?
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If you're going to start a violent gang fight, you should consider picking a place that's not covered in security cameras. Or you could just do it in the airport, like these folks
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The five most absurd conspiracy theories, like Fox anticipating the terrorist attacks of September the 11th due to two television shows and a series of loose coincidences
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Mexico killed in drug deal
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This is bolt lightning, the dragster powered by six circular saws. In the world of power tool racing, this is real cutting edge technology
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Butt threatened with legal action after unexpected outburst. Uh huh huh "butt"
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| (Some Guy) |
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A York woman's holiday picture reveals a ghostly image of Bebo from Clash of the Titans
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| (ThisisDevon) |
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Wanted: Home for unloved alien from a distant galaxy... anyone?
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Lawyers for Johnson and Johnson say that they told FDA that the company was conducting a "phantom recall" of its drug Motrin in Jan 2009. Darn the luck, however, they can't produce a single piece of paper to that effect
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| (Some Guy) |
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Okay, enough with the Betty White already
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Innovative cure for cancer - being cut in half and rebuilt as a human pogo-stick. Textbook lose/lose situation
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Mark Zuckerberg is donating $100 million to Newark public schools. He'd be better off setting fire to that much money if he's just going to throw it away on Jersey like that
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| (Bangor Daily News) |
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Torn from the front page of the Bangor Daily News: Free to a Good Home - Stuffed Exotic Animals (with pics of what stuffed exotic animals look like)
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Crowds warned to keep away from whale carcass on Australian beach, as these things have been known to blow up without warning
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New poll has California decriminalization up by 420 points
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Sheriff Joe Arpaio's office might just possibly have a little problem with corruption
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: Lawyer asks for Stay of Execution. News: because his client tried to commit suicide. Fark: hours before being executed
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| (Gwinnett Daily Post) |
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Jail bans all non-postcard mail from being delivered to inmates, who have become accustomed to receiving daily packages
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As if things weren't bad enough, Christmas isn't coming this year either
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Australian police seize $14m worth of cannabis. Posing in front of the $10m haul, Detective Superintendent Scott Cook informed reporters that $4m was by far the largest seizure in his force's history
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| (Fosters.com) |
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For sale: 70's Toyota Celica. Very low miles. Eels in the trunk
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German man in tax trouble because of the size of his huge schnitzel
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GOP's Pledge to America "perhaps the Most Ridiculous Thing to Come Out of Washington Since George McClellan"--noted liberal and founder of RedState, Erick Erickson
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200th Anniversary of when Louisiana called itself West Florida. 'Florida' tag currently recovering from shock
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Polly wants a crack
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This year's Ig Nobel Prize winners include the researcher who proved slime mold could solve puzzles and a guy who's been photographing everything he's eaten for the past 34 years
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Austrailian explorer, who served as the inspiration for both Crocodile Dundee, and The Crocodile hunter. and spent 20 years survivng ecounters with every kind of deadly wildlife on the continent, has been killed in a car crash
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| (Penn State) |
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To the left, sociological study showing that walking away from your religion can be bad for your health. To the right, whiny internet atheists insisting that their anecdotes trump the researcher's data
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Dog goes swimming, needs to be rescued. It's not news, it's the Boston Herald. In other not news, there's a retarded Chihuahua puppy up for adoption
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In a surprising twist, the GOP "pledge for America" was put together by one of the nation's most powerful lobbyists
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Afghan insurgents packing more objects into bombs, not worried about overhead compartments or additional fees
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Senate in 2010: Let's ban some websites because we don't like them. Senate in 1930: let's ban dial telephones because we don't like them
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To my sister I bequeath my massive porn collection
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Fark: Man impaled by flying canoe. UltraFark: While sitting in his truck
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Illinois is encouraging young people to vote naked, expect lines at the polls to backed up for less than 6 minutes
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Under Australian law, bigamists can face up to five years in jail, and two mothers-in-law
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Moonshine is still a popular drink with hobbyists, assuming your hobby is being a raging alcoholic who likes to get shiat-faced drunk on gasoline-flavored hooch
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What's the dumbest thing you can do while landing a passenger airplane? "Leaving the parking brake on" stakes its claim for the title
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Two middle aged sickos host drunken sex parties with minors. Oh wait, they're women? Nice
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| (Tangshan, China) |
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Photoshop this sand dredging
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Having solved all its other problems, Mexico has begun more vigorous enforcement of anti-abortion laws, in some cases subjecting women seeking gynecological treatment to police interrogation
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Hundreds of NASA employees allowed farewell photos with Shuttle before they get laid off. Suck it, America
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 281: "Farktography Classic: Green 2" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest
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| Wed September 22, 2010 |
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Dogs tie knot in tasteful wedding ceremony. The Sun is there
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If your city doesn't appear on Google does it really exist? One Florida city found out
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Man runs over and kills his ex-wife's new boyfriend. "Honestly, I liked the guy. It was an accident." Police: "Okay, you're free to go"
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Iowa egg producer says his business grew too quickly. You know what else grows quickly? Salmonella
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| (Some Guy) |
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The sister of a research bear that died in the wild has more friends on Facebook than you
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| (Some Reston Guy) |
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Elementary school PTAs finally realize that they earn more and piss off fewer people simply asking for money, instead of whoring out the kids to sell worthless crap like wrapping paper, scented candles, popcorn and jelly beans
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Not news: Teen girls caught fighting on video, Fark: Mother is also on video, telling daughter "don't f*%king stop"
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Baby formula recalled due to extra protein
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| (Colbert Nation) |
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Colbert interviews Google CEO and is dismayed to discover that all of his searches are kept forever, even "tall women lifting heavy things" which violates Rule 34
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| (Some Girl) |
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Theme: Photoshop a propaganda poster for a film. LGT examples
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You know that 89-year old reclusive pauper lady living next to you? Yeah, turns out she was a British spy, tortured by and escaped from the Gestapo after helping prepare France for D-Day. But I'm sure you've done some important stuff too
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Police have charged twitter user @pigspotter with defamation, and impairing the dignity of another person, after admitting everything he says is correct
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Over here is the kitchen with all new appliances, and over here the master bedroom.. ... uh-oh"
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| (Some Guy) |
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What do you call a woman with one arm and no legs passed out on the floor? "Facing charges for child abuse"
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Nature documentary filmmaker reveals secrets of the trade, like the fact that the bear rooting around in a deer carcass is probably looking for jellybeans
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President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad warns that if Iran is attacked, a war with "no limits" could occur. "The US has never entered a real war, not in Vietnam, nor in Afghanistan, nor even World War II"
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Investigator suspects SEC committed fraud by launching fraud investigation to cover up the fact that they stink at investigating fraud
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The incredibly sophisticated Stuxnet Worm, which can take control of and even destroy industrial machinery, may have been specifically created to sabotage Iran's Bushehr nuclear plant. The question is, by whom?
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MEMEMEMEME MEMEMEME MEMEMEMEMEME {{boom}}
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Next time you take your dog for a walk, be forewarned - another family might move into your house while you're gone
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| (Some Bright Guy) |
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Sure it stinks and sucks when you step in it, but dog poop does have a 'bright' side, it can light a lantern
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ottawa, "The City that Fun Forgot", named "The Depression Capital of Canada"
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FDA approves first pill for Multiple Skleerr... Multiple Scholio.... Multiple Szkchler... MS
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| (whdh.com) |
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Yoga poses printed on parking tickets in order to calm irate drivers. Your Downward Facing Dog wants steak
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| (Some Guy) |
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Federal airport security guards are often unskilled, entry-level responders to help-wanted ads affixed to pizza boxes
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Heard about the "scary phone" app, which can make it appear as though a call is coming from someone's home phone? This girl hadn't
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Supposably, there is problems alot of people has with what the right words are and where in the sentence they are at
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| (Some Guy) |
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Would be Wal-mart thief goes from get-away car to dumpster to garbage truck to helicopter ride
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Dude wins $200k on Jeopardy, says he'll use it for charity, student loans, a new car, travel and gourmet dining. You DO realize it's only about a $100k after taxes, right?
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Cell phone towers could save lives
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Busn brats 2 skool
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US AG says the novel "To Kill a Mocking Bird" has valuable lessons about fighting the war on terror. After all, who can forget the scene where Atticus disarms a dirty bomb with one hand while disemboweling Osama with the other?
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| (AnnArbor.com) |
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Oh, great. Now because ONE GUY couldn't handle it, we all will have to be banned from carrying parrots in our backpacks
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mystery person with too much time on his hands expresses his feelings about the BP oil spill in Spongebob format
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| (Some Guy) |
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The most powerful woman in the world is voicing support for Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity
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In jail the inmates bet on football games using pastries instead of money. And they punch you in the face if you only pay up a bearclaw when you still owe four honey buns
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They say 'Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.' Well, we need to stop saying it if we want to save our fisheries
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| (Some Guy) |
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San Francisco taco truck earns a #1 ranking in the Zagat restaurant guide
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Bringing new meaning to the word "snowbird", a Canadian engineering student has done the impossible. He's built and flown the worlds first flapping wing aircraft
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Tired of seeing "image of Jesus" headlines, Satan decides he needs some attention too
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Tel Aviv citizens request Ultra Orthodox Jews stop choking the chicken in public
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| (Some Guy) |
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Next time, take your 4-year-old with you to buy the beer
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Longtime Farker 'Who is John Galt' has passed away. RIP
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| (NorthJersey.com) |
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When you think "New Jersey government" and "giant construction project" you think "honesty, integrity and good budgeting", so obviously there was no need for any oversight of a mere $8.7 billion
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| (The Post and Courier) |
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If you're going to take a picture of strippers on the hood of your police car, you probably shouldn't post it on Facebook
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Not news: women scuffle on bus and it's caught on video. Fark: woman holding a baby is the first one to throw a punch
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| (Some Guy) |
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The only president worse than George W. Bush? Guess. Go ahead. Guess
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| (Some Guy) |
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17 year old Aussie kid responsible for twitter porn pop ups hopes he doesn't get in trouble when his parents find out
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| (KLTV) |
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College alumni association asks Lindsey Lohan to take her shirt off
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Warning: Do not use your Bowflex for auto-erotic asphyxiation games
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The Breakfast Club 25 years later
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"The word crap just isn't that offensive"
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New Zealand school criticised for encouraging kids to chuck their possums. Surprisingly, that's not a euphemism
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And somewhere on the planet, it's raining Tylenol-stuffed mice
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It's not news, it's why the Titanic really sank, as told by the granddaughter of the second officer who, by the way, now has a novel she'd like you to buy, and retold by a credulous dumbass
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| (BIG1059) |
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Teacher posts on Facebook that he hates his job, hates his students and hates coming to work, earns five-day vacation
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British man relieved to hear that his stolen dog has been found. Less relieved to discover that the data protection act prevents anyone from telling him where
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Consumer: "@PriceChopper Suprmkt is teh sucks lol" PriceChopper Inc.:@YourBoss - yr employee makin trble 4 us. Tell her GTFO
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College girls with heavy roommates gain less weight, mainly because there's nothing left to eat
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Study says failure of teacher bonuses to raise test scores means teachers "already were working so hard", as opposed to "unions and politics drove all the good ones out"
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My cheap boobs exploded. The Sun is there
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this creepy colugo
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Man threatens Obama while wearing fake explosive belt constructed of Play-Doh and a curling iron. Lawyers request their client be allowed his spaghetti factory for kitchen duty
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| (Sydney Morning Herald) |
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Some say that he's wanted by the Australian police, and that he walked out of a bank with a bag of money. All we know is that he's not actually the Stig
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Good: Some voting precincts in Afghanistan reported high voter turnout. Bad: 626 percent voter turnout
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German study finds that European brown hares can be permanently pregnant; scientists have dubbed this breed michellis duggaris
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Romanian budget deficit misses soft landing, will hit $7.9 in 2011, not the 10.0, 10.0, 10.0 some had predicted
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| (Some Guy) |
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Town council bans 100 activities at a popular beach, including kite flying, taking pictures, and digging holes. Leaves only conventional Australian beach pastimes like drowning and being eaten by sharks
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A fat woman on a motorized scooter hurls racial slurs at a guy watering his lawn, and wins a complimentary wharrgarbl from the water hose (Not safe for work Language)
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Jon Stewart lays the smack down on Obama and exposes all the promises he hasn't lived up to
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Almost half of all Illinois high school students failed state competency tests. On the plus side, their self esteem is intact because they can't read the results
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| (wtsp.com) |
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Note: If you shoot two masked teenagers who are breaking in to your house, get rid of your dope before you call the cops
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British author who denies the Holocaust is touring Nazi death camps in Poland, Apollo 11 sound stage in New Mexico
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cowboy boots in court will no longer stirrup controversy
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Meh: Squatter grabs himself some free office space. Fark: On the 40th floor of the Empire State Building
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Chicago man arrested for 253rd time, making him eligible for political office
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| (Some Guy) |
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Like a cockatiel with a loaded gun, policeman shoots at himself in mirror
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Immediately after the unveiling of the Fail Bridge for the Fail Games, India unveils the Nehru Fail Stadium. Trifecta in play
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| (Yorkshire Post) |
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Today's Fark-ready headline: "Mother paralysed in freak pole dance accident"
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Great. Just great. Wait until Dan Brown finds out about this
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ah, Autumn. With its crisp aroma of leaves, Halloween candy sales, and Fake Salvation Army kettles outside of stadiums
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Pastor of Atlanta megachurch who has been called "one of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement" is accused of -- wait for it, wait for it -- sexual coercion by two men
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His momma may be fat, but at least she cared enough to buy him a gastric band at the age of 13 so the same fate wouldn't happen to him
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Rape suspect tries to ban 'extremely happy' photo of victim
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You may have a meth problem if police catch you with: A) pseudoephedrine B) 3,000 matches C) this hairstyle
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Huffington Post displays ideas for redesigning the dollar bill. Come on, Fark -- we can do MUCH better than this
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Scientific study seeks to explain the parting of the Red Sea, overlooking the more likely explanation that it WAS MADE UP
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| (Some itcher) |
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Official: It's better to just let the head lice run its course throughout the school'
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| (Some Chick) |
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Exotic dancer indicted for murder after dragging client under her car for two miles. /pic of what Ohio calls "exotic"
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Cutest pic of an orphaned baby lion hugging a meekcat you'll see all day. Hakuna Matata
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Where's Waldo? He's robbing a bank in Tualatin, Oregon
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| Tue September 21, 2010 |
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Marked Highway Patrol K9 vehicle stolen. If only there was some way to track the thief
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British man grows vegetables with nothing but dirt, fertilizer, a green thumb and I'm assuming some sort of radioactive growth ray
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| (tmj4) |
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Former President Franklin Roosevelt's grandson says that Social Security is sound. He's, of course, an expert due to being someone's grandson
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Assuming that there is no Mayan Apocalypse™, Earth is toast in 2013. The Sun is there
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| (Some Canadian Guy) |
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Photoshop this wandering welcome
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Men don't notice women in heels, say researchers who were obviously looking at this from the wrong angle
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Republicans successfully block equal rights for *spins wheel* gays in the military
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Scissors cut paper, paper covers rock, rock beats sleeping man
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Man uses a Seinfeld episode as a defense against criminal charges, yadda yadda yadda
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| (Some Guy) |
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Gene linked to rapid Alzheimer's onset, but he can't remember why
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Spike TV ranks the "Top 7 Cutest Feminists." Feminist blog Jezebel gets wind of it, and predictably they... actually, they kind of like it
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High School principal really pissed off about the hate crime someone told him he is a victim of
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| (Is this for real?) |
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For rent: 1 bedroom apt. Comes complete with fundamentalist christian landlord who wants to enforce a 5AM wakeup time, sanction your "lascivious deviant sexual behavior" - then it gets worse
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Hurricane Karl causes the escape of 280 crocodiles from a Mexican refuge near the Gulf of Mexico. This is not a repeat of evey Michael Crichton novel
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bart Simpson, visionary: NASA scientist proposes edible clothes for astronauts
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Christine O'Donnell's aide offers proof President Obama is secret agent Muslin
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Green Party candidate struck and killed. FARK: by an SUV while she was riding her bicycle
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This one time at band camp ... I murdered a guy for his flute and then burned his house down to make it look like an accident
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| (Some Guy) |
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Car explodes after couple hides crack in gas tank
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Interpol worried about spike to over 4500 websites devoted to terror, like justinbiebermusic.com
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| (wpri.com) |
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Pub to open in funeral home. Now THAT'S convenient
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CCTV catches man ditching limping dog. Lame
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| (KPTV) |
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Man stabbed with steak knife in motel, doctors happy to report he's in A-1 condition
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| (KTVQ) |
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The coolest pictures of an SUV impaled on a guardrail you'll see all day
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