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| Sun April 04, 2010 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this very important dinner party
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| (USGS) |
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6.9 earthquake in Baja California, Mexico (update: now 7.2)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wharrgarbl alert: "OMG this is the FIFTH straight year Google hasn't done an Easter theme on its homepage EVERYBODY BOYCOTT GOOGLE this is bullcrap"
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The rhubarb famine of 2010. Never forget
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If you're going to plagiarize others for your college speech, don't steal from the world's most famous television personality, the world's most famous author, and the President of the United States, all at the same time
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Early morning, April 4. Shot rings out in the Memphis sky. Free at last, they took your life. They could not take your pride
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British kissing couple loses jail appeal in Dubai. Now they'll have to lightly handshake their freedom goodbye
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| (Some Guy) |
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Here's a comprehensive list (including pics / video) of all the places Jesus has been spotted since he rose from the dead
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Millionaire finds hooker online and gives her £60k to start new life, shocked when she takes the money and runs
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sailor's ear bitten off during bar fight, chances are he'll never hear the end of it
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I am shocked, shocked I tell you, that people are gaming Massachusetts health insurance. This won't happen at the federal level, though
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these beverages-on-the-move
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| (Some Guy) |
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A letter from manga artist Nogami Takeshi responding to CNN's recent 'Rapelay' coverage
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What the top U.S. companies pay in taxes. Yes, you pay more
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| (InForum) |
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North Dakota Peeps hunted, trapped, and delectably prepared by talented chefs
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| (Some Guy) |
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Happy 160th birthday Los Angeles. You don't look a day over 125
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It just became legal to bribe judges in America, proving once again that America has the best judicial system money can buy
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N.J. Supreme Court upholds privacy of personal e-mails sent from work. The privacy of your boring life is safe for now
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For the first time in more than a century, the Ritz Hotel has loosened its dress code and will allow men to dine in its restaurant while wearing denim. But only at breakfast
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Doctor promotes diet plan used by Farkers for years: Eat whatever you want, however much you want, and drink lots of wine
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| (Some Guy) |
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Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off. Original Energizer Bunny to be auctioned off
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♫ Here comes Peter Cottontail ♫ Hopping down the bunny trail ♫ Hippity-hoppity ♫ Easter spending goes up for the first time in three years ♫
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Why did a coal ship crash into the Great Barrier Reef? It's sedimentary, my dear Watson
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When a teenage pilot safely crash lands a crippled plane on a city highway, jumps out and starts directing the traffic, the WIN is strong here
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What may possibly be the greatest fast food sandwich in the history of grease goes nationwide April 12
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12-year-old girl scribbles on school desk with erasable marker. School calls cops who decided it was an arrestable offense. Family now suing for $1 million to save other snow flakes. Florida tag seen roaming NYC police departments
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Photoshop this curiosity
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| (Ahmedabad Mirror) |
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Cops rescue guy whose wife held him hostage in their home for a year
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| (Some Guy) |
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Lord bless this doughnut as symbol for Easter. Well at least it's holy
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Burger King 'crazy' ad offends crazy people
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Disney bus driver ticketed for minor crash. Was he driving Goofy? Cuz that's a small offense after all
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Catholic church sets up sex-abuse hotline in Germany, which rapidly gets overwhelmed with almost 4,500 calls
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Still unable to one-up the Navy in sex appeal, Air Force to launch highly phallic space plane. Weeners tag looks on with envy
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| Sat April 03, 2010 |
| (Some Ogler) |
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Two dozen naked women march in Portland, Maine. Organizer "enraged" that a thousand ogling men showed up to ogle and cheer
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Break out your weejuns, grosgrain belt and madras jacket, the long-awaited sequel to "The Preppy Handbook" is being published
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this helping hand
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Kids in Easter egg hunt find dead body. Strangely, it disappeared two days later
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♪ "Goodbye benefits, tenure and summer rest. We'll base your job and pay on some silly test." ♪
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Obama declares entire state of Rhode Island a disaster area. Anyone that has ever been to Rhode Island knows this is no exaggeration
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Man and teen arrested for stealing $10,000 in junk yard auto parts, which reportedly consisted of a 2002 Volkswagen bumper and eight fuel injectors
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Cops chase ambulance stolen from hospital. Personal injury lawyers confused
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Slow, slower, slowest slo-pitch player struck by line drive. Sues ball park owners for $1.5 M. Blames setting sun. Runner scores all the way from first base. Opposing team wins tournament. Teammates pissed. Demand share of settlement
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Photoshop this guy with all the latest tech
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| (Canton Rep) |
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Drunk driver crashes car into utility pole, flips over, lands on wheels, keeps driving, eventually rolls into a ditch, gets taken to hospital, arrested after police follow trail of leaking oil back to his wrecked vehicle. Tada
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With a bucket and a giant pickle, this "how about no" polar bear covers quite a few Fark clichés. OM NOM NOM
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| (wpbf.com) |
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Alabama senior one of 18 students punished for violating prom dress code. She chose suspension. The other 17? "Spank me, Mr. Principal." Giggity
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Prom: is it an important event in your child's life, or a big farking headache that costs too much damned money and is, in the long run, meaningless? Subby'd vote for the latter
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Feds go on Easter egg hunt in yard of former Philly mayor Frank Rizzo's son-in-law. Find $2 million in buried treasure. w/vid of what Feds ripping apart a palatial estate with a backhoe might look like
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Some protesters have a problem with Tulane medical school using live pigs for trauma training. Mmmmmm, bacon and beignets
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Elton John, who has apparently never seen a single episode of Scooby Doo, announces he's going ahead with his concert in the Mayan ruins despite mysterious disasters befalling the set and outraged locals
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Six-year-old twins caught smuggling cocaine in underwear. That's some first grade blow
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Cool or scary, that's one hell of a giant Lego tarantula
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That 9 year old girl playing hopsctoch over there, yeah, she's a spy
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Your favorite book SUCKS: one-star Amazon reviews of the classics. "It is because of this horrid book that I eat sausage every morning and tell my dad to kill every spider I see"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today marks the sesquicentennial of the first Pony Express run
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How to best celebrate English as the world's language of liberation? Change its name to a dorky made-up noun that sounds like an adjective
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In his house at Tarpon Springs, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming
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| (adn.com) |
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Two slack-jawed yokels from Ohio travelling in the Alaskan wilderness watch a moose and timber wolf fight it out. Then they're treed by the moose
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The most beautiful, and the most heartbreaking, series of photographs you'll see today
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Christians upset that spring holiday is all about eggs and the Easter Bunny, no longer about celebrating the resurrection of Santa Claus
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I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you
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A little girl is NOT in shock and awe upon meeting Pres. Obama. For some reason this is big time news. Get ready to hear this story over, and over again
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Woman brought back from the dead 114 times in 30 hours. She REALLY doesn't want to go on the cart
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Council installs bike lane. For some odd reason, ungrateful cyclists have a problem with it.. w/pic
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this creature into ordinary slices of life
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| (Some Cat Lady) |
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Blackberry in a jam: stuck in a tree for nine days and rescued in time for Caturday
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man calls police for help getting out of the closed karaoke bar he passed out in the night before
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| (PressConnects) |
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What's worse than driving drunk with a five-month-old baby and crashing into a tree? Leaving the scene and coaching your eleven-year-old to call 911 and say that you broke your leg by falling down the stairs of course
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Americans renamed french fries as freedom fries, so the French fire back by replacing all English words. NEVER SURRENDER
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| (Trader Joe's has a sad) |
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You can kiss your Two Buck Chuck good-bye as California government wants to increase wine taxes by 12,675%
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Guy from MASK arrested on terror charges w/ pic
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The latest food item that can be contaminated with salmonella is ... bird feeders. EVERYBIRDY PANIC
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As God is my witness, I thought marshmallows could fly
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Five years after winning £9 million in the lottery, guy dies penniless after blowing it all
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| (KENS-TV) |
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Just in time for Easter: Woman sees face of St. Peter in rock. With see-it-for-yourself pic
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this soaring scarecrow
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It takes a special kind of idiot to get stuck in a dumbwaiter
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A country that used to covertly send weapons to Afghanistan is concerned that a new country is covertly sending weapons to Afghanistan
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Prostitutes sign confuses motorists, encourages rear-endings
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The millennial generation - about 50 million people between ages 18 and 29 - is the only age group in the nation that doesn't cite work ethic as one of its "principal claims to distinctiveness"
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"Mumps-related testicle problems rampant." Aw, nuts
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| Fri April 02, 2010 |
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Mayhaps you desire to --SQUIRREL
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After its mother is hit by a car, baby wombat is rescued by another driver (with "HOLY CRAP, that is one ugly baby" pics)
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Really, when you think about it, this whole uproar over priests molesting kids is just as bad as the persecution of the Jews. At least that's how the Vatican sees it
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this secure stay
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Show me your badge: rent-a-cop kicks off this week's Smoking Gun mugshot roundup
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"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lockerbie bomber who was released from prison because he was going to die months ago, happy birthday to you"
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On this day in 1513, Ponce de Leon discovered Florida and ushered in a era of settlement, exploration and FARK links
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Body piercing may be a sign of anti-social behavior, mental illness, smoking and drinking, and generally not being a goody two shoe
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"Recyclopedia" author Harryette Mullen wins Jackson poetry prize. Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis. Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher. Un-trust-ing. Un-know..ing. Harryette. She stole my cat. I am lonely. This poem sucks
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The friendly skies are about to get a lot friendlier now that the FAA is letting pilots fly on Prozac
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Emergency responder arrested for responding to emergency
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Nigerian man rams car into parked plane, to punish sinners in the name of Jesus. That'll show 'em
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| (Some Guy) |
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Just to be sure every ounce of fight is drained from your body, women are now setting up their husbands on dates with men they think they might like to hang out with. With picture of what a 'man-date" might look like
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Mexico's civil unrest has gotten so bad the Drug Lords are directly attacking military bases
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| (Grand Haven Tribune) |
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Warm weather has anglers hitting the water. Except for you. You're too fat. You'll sink the boat. Just stay on Fark
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| (The Correctness) |
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Supervillain Smackdown 4: Venom vs. Doctor Doom
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| (Macon.com) |
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Authorities throw the book at 51-year old prostitute Chun Lee Sook for offering happy endings. Sook ducks
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| (Some Gen Xer) |
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Wayne and Garth found in Google Street View. Excellent
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Because who DOESN'T want to watch a live camera feed of puppies on a Friday?
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President of Boy Scouts council says parents were to blame for their kids being molested
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Man condemned to death for sorcery says cold readings are nothing to lose one's head over; gets a temporary stay in execution
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Airport screenings will now be based on intelligence information. Because clearly the old policy had nothing to do with intelligence
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The best photo of a convicted pimp you'll see all day. Bonus: pimp flow chart
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Tax assessor hopes town opts out of farm tax, because "to go out and count every chicken that is moving or standing still is a lot of work"
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Millions have already ordered "The Best of Conservative Revisionist History", featuring hits like: Glenn Beck - Teddy Roosevelt was a Socialist, and Michelle Bachmann Turner Overdrive - FDR Caused the Great Depression
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Jon Stewart give CNN advice to help their ratings. "Instead of veering ideologically left or right why don't you use your programs to debunk the spin from both sides instead of just leaving it there?"
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SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY - BEHOLD THE CAR-CRUSHING FURY OF ROBOSAURUS AS THE METAL-SMASHING, FIRE-BREATHING MONSTER CELEBRATES TWENTY-TWO YEARS OF VEHICULAR DESTRUCTION. YOU'LL PAY FOR THE WHOLE SEAT, BUT YOU'LL ONLY NEED THE EEEEEEEEEEDGE
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Time for TSGs Friday Photo Fun. Match the old fart to the crime. Contest ends at 6pm Eastern
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They'd better be quick - he won't be around long with that diet. He you say? Why it is Old King Curtis, a seven-year old who runs his family with an Iron blanket and wit
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Seven, seven, seven, seven. The Pa. lottery 4 draws all sevens for 3,107 winning tickets
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To further show that they are an entity separate from the Republicans, and because the last one worked so well, Teabaggers draft their own "Contract From America." But they changed one word, so it's all good
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this mustachioed monkey
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Escaped maggots cause chaos at market
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President B. Hussein Obama (D-eliver us from him) responds to criticism of health care reform by mocking farmers
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Cops refuse to taser two year old girl
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Pfizer pfrovides pfroof on pfayments to pfhysicians
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Today's woman arrested for emailing photos of her vajayjay brought to you by Shalimar, Florida. Collectable mug shot included
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DOJ sues Halliburton subsidiary KBR for robbing the US blind on their no-bid contracts in Iraq. Now that is change you can believe in
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Cardinals defend pope on church sex abuse scandal, Mets say they are just butthurt
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Veterinarians four times more likely to commit suicide than the average person, which is like 28 times more like in dog years
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Iran to sanctions against its nuclear program: "Bring it."
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Found: 300 year old version of Penthouse forum
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| (Danbury (CT) News-Times) |
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Phrases you don't want your insurance company seeing: "The business owner, Greg Lee, 50, of Roxbury, had smelled propane the night before but thought little of it"
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| (Nevada Appeal) |
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Not had enough "crazy" this morning? Here's a second letter from the people whose first letter caused all 50 state capitols to go into lockdown Wednesday
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The fallout over "bondagegate" has led the RNC to cancel other donor events including a VIP tour of Blackwater's NC training facility because apparently being the party of lesbian strippers and automatic weapons, is a BAD thing
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Army Sec to soldiers: remember when I told you you can't be thrown out any more just for saying you are gay? Well, uhh, since that's an actual law and we can't ignore it, April Fools
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The arrival of Apple's iPad, the Moses tablet to their Jesus iPhone, is being treated with near-religious fervor but this otherwise early adapter tech geek is left wondering, "Is that all?"
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Catholic school pays man $370,000 to go gambling and hire prostitutes and strippers
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| (Some Guy) |
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Please help get my kids' Pepsi Refresh Project approved with your votes--you can vote once per day--help me Farkers--let me see that Fark Effect and get this program into the top 10
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Have you filled out your organ donor card yet? If you have, you may not want to click that link to the left
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Robert Redford has mixed feelings about Blu-ray technology, horseless carriages
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"Chexting"? CHEXTING? Maybe the terrorists are right
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Man takes "This is a stick up" WAY too literally
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You thought sacrificing an hour every Sunday was devotion, but once again, the Filipinos one-up you
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How does one catch a Viagra thief? It's really hard
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| (kcci.com) |
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Wildlife volunteers release more than 200 bats in downtown Omaha. Interesting tag fills in for lack of Baturday tag
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| (The Scottish Sun) |
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Here's an Indian Eagle Owl chick that was born recentAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH WTF IS THAT THING, NUKE IT FROM ORBIT BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO BE SURE
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Drinking a liter of cola a day could reduce male fertility, distend bladder
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Bogus breast business booms, boastful Brits brag. Belligerent bankruptcies bother boisterous bosom buyers? Balderdash
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"I'll have a beer, and put a head on it"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this grabby guy
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Chunk of Statler smashes into sidewalk. Waldorf inconsolable
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| (Some Guy) |
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London to get giant sci-fi sculpture, 20 metres taller than Statue of Liberty, in time for 2012 Olympics (w/ design pic). Doctor Who remembers why he loves that town so much
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If a man slips on dog shiat in a PetSmart and no one's around, is it okay for him to sue the company for $1 million?
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The most poignant and touching story you'll read all day... and it's about two otters
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| (Daily Illini) |
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Not news: Man attempts suicide by jumping from the 18th story. News: Lands on 4 story building, survives, jumps again. Fark: Name is Jeronymo
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Anti-capitalist Nanny State allows one of the UK's largest home improvement chains to open on Easter even though it's illegal and an affront to God. It's OK though because Christians promise to sue them if they sell anything
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Photoshop Theme: April Fool
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| Thu April 01, 2010 |
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Thanks for an enjoyable April Fool's Day
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Hey, it's really sweet when a dad brings his young daughter to work. Except when he's a cocaine dealer picking up a fresh shipment of blow
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| (Some Guy) |
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Easter Bunny attacked in Poughkeepsie
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Researchers discover weak link in Alzheimer's drug candidates, promptly forgot what it was
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| (wnyt.com) |
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Energetic hotel guest tries to plug a European DVD player into an American electrical outlet. Hilarity ensues
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If you're going to use a cutting torch to remove a gas tank from a salvage car, first make sure there's no gas in the tank
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Sherpa to drag Sir Edmund Hillary's ass up Mt. Everest one last time
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| (Bonedaddy King) |
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NFL player's April Fool's Day plane hijacking gag hits snafu
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Overdosed toddler may lead to sainthood for dead nun
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"Deputies think the flames were set by an angry, naked man seen running from the scene"
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Republicans in Utah freak out over a school teaching students about democracy. "Karl Marx said, 'Democracy is the road to socialism'"
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Elite Eight announced: Pie v. Cake
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Wallaby on the loose in Windermere, Florida, claims to be one of Tiger's mistresses
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Ovarian Mind Control might make a pretty cool name for a band, but in this gal's case it sucked
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Newark marks its first murder-free month in 44 years. Never mind the spike in multiple gun-shot-wound suicides
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| (Some Humpback) |
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Lake Michigan Whale Watching Tours are finally back up and running, now that the cold is gone
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| (Making Light) |
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"You could disassemble Godzilla at a range of seven miles"
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Zombies finally do some good, provide several tons of chicken for food bank
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Unemployment numbers will remain "terribly high for a very long time." You better Hope this Changes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ugly-ass baby skeksis born at Franklin Park Zoo. How cutAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGGGHHHH
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Let's rumble: the seven most legendary Internet Tough Guys
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Have you ever wanted to face down an elder god? Well here's your chance... Ars Technica puts forth the Cthulu written 'Tentacular Tentacular'
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Ain't no party like a St. Louis party 'cause a St. Louis party don't stop until a deck collapses and sends seven people to the hospital
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Photoshop these block-like balconies
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Pope sees sex scandal as a test, which explains all the cramming going on in the priesthood
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| (Florida Today) |
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You're 15 and it's 1:00 am. Do you: c) take a car for a joy ride, go to the convenience store, taking out their gas pumps and driving into their wall?
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Among the items lost at Orlando International Airport: a wedding dress, a fake leg, walking canes, and car tires
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Pornography addiction is getting out of hand
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| (Mail Tribune) |
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Robber pulls off heist at Radio Shack. Unclear how he was able to escape without signing a two-year contract with Sprint
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Lance Armstrong makes rare appearance at France's Tour of Flanders. Stupid sexy Tour of Flanders *grumble*
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Five pirates onboard a skiff target the USS Nicholas. Something tells me they didn't think their cunning plan through
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Organizational skills and time management therapy may help ADHD. TFA may say more, but subby only read it for 45 seconds before submitting it
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Obscenity-screaming douchebag hedge-fund manager throws a hissy after being asked to move his car. With hilarious results
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Let me Topeka that for you
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Sweden bans fake breasts
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Donor conference nets almost $10 billion in aid for Haiti, which should be almost enough to move the entire country off its fault line
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Arctic sea ice grows back to 'normal' for first time since 2001 and has already solidified around Al Gore's feet
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"You're so beatiful"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Following up their Taun-taun sleeping bag from last year, Thinkgeek has done it again, and made an April Fool's product that absolutely everyone is going to want
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Rich wine collector files fraud lawsuit against auction house, calls them a bunch of corksuckers
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Obese men at higher risk in crashes, unlike the people who happen to be sitting behind them
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| (WLBZ2.com) |
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Maine police are on the lookout for a 'Gilligan' bank robber. He's said to have made his get away in a pedal-powered grass car driven by a fat man in a sailor suit
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Firefighters and zoo employees pull Tony the tiger from moat. To the surprise of absolutely no one, he's GRRRRRRRRRRRREAT
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Arizona lets you hire prison inmates to upholster your torn furniture. "They never take shortcuts, because they've got oodles of time"
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Rhode Island changes its name to Rhode Harbor
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Keep trying, guys: doctors induce labor, then perform C-section on woman only to find no baby inside. Woman plans lawsuit after stint in Vegas as the GREATEST MAGICIAN EVER
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| Wed March 31, 2010 |
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Mississippi ACLU rejects $20,000 donation for alternative lesbian high school prom because the money has icky atheist cooties
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Photoshop these workers in wicker
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US television networks have no problem with graphic violence, salacious housewives and fake-breasted women eating bull testicle pizza, but don't you dare use the word "vagina" in a tampon commercial
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Unpaid Spanish air hostesses strip in protest
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Meteorologist loses ear on the job when attacked by machete wielding Samoan. Federal charges forecast
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Man sentenced to beheading for sorcery. This is not a repeat from 1477
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| (TheIndyChannel) |
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Police forced to taser, slap unruly suspect. Fark: a 10-year-old boy
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 256: "Pure Bad Ass" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| (Some Realist) |
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Photoshop Theme: If my life was a reality show
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Protip: Before your militia plans the violent overthrow of the US government, you might want to check Snopes.com first
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Reader: Is that red tape I see on all the telephone poles to help foreign armies invade us? Writer: You are dumb
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Seaworld trainer died of trauma, drowning, world's laziest coroner reports
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China's censorship of Google is so extensive, it even bans the word "carrot." Because, really, with all the interesting stuff filtered out, what do you need such good eyesight for anyway?
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| (The Frisky) |
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30 Things Every Man Should Have By 30, written by the nagging, needy wife you'll have by 31
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♫ ♪ "Give me back that fillet-o-fish, give me that fish" ♪ ♫
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Man in trouble for ramming Dick's
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"Bravado aside, are you absolutely positive you even know how to kill a zombie?"
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Man pours urine on his dad's head during a potato-cooking dispute. Ahhh, the old golden russet shower
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Photoshop Theme: Black and Blue (LGT GIS Inspiration)
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Today's Fark-ready headline: "Pickle jar, mushroom soup used for evil"
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Acupuncture may make dentist appointments less stressful, enable patients to transcend dental medication
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NYC deputy fire commissioner retires on a pension of $242,000 a year. It's mostly tax-free because he has a disability that limits him to playing golf only 50 times a year
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Dainty folks at the MTA offended by WTF subway posters. Seriously, WTF
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Good God, what's wrong with this country? You can't even get drunk in a public restroom and fall asleep on the floor
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Kenyan slum residents no longer have to put up with flying sacks of crap
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Military chief denies gay discharge
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R.I.P. Jaime Escalante. He reeched those keeds
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In a move that can be used as the definition of not thinking your cunning plan all the way through, anti-government Christian-terrorist group members request public-defenders
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The E.U. finds a way around laws prohibiting sales of torture equipment by relabeling them as BDSM accessories
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There are good parties, awesome parties, and "cause $45,000 worth of damage" parties
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Bill O'Reilly pays legal bill of fallen Marine's father
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Good news: Golfer hits eagle. Bad news: The other kind of eagle
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Town may call parents of college students to report that their adult children attended a loud party
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Not news: Suspects escape then run and hide at police station. Fark: Tilapia escapes and flies to sushi bar
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Submarine returns from the depths with a thing right out of Stephen King's "The Mist" Bonus: Picture that will have you wondering when Cthullu is showing up
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| (Some Guy) |
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Finally a slideshow depicting something we care about. Beer sculptures
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For your Peru-sal: Machu Picchu reopens to tourists
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Don't want to work on Sundays? Just sue your boss for religious discrimination
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nude woman arrested at Hilton Hotel Spa holding the elevator up with toy gun
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this lopsided girl
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| (Pittsburgh Channel) |
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Not news: Man pleads guilty to disorderly conduct. Fark: For barking at police dog
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Kitchenistas - Hip New Yorkers who store their clothes in ovens and fridges because they have no room in their 200 sq. foot studios
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"A wounded gang member ran into a nail salon carrying a gun, before employees shooed him away." Hardcore
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Iranian nuclear scientist defects to the United States, has already provided valuable information on which version of Photoshop Iran is using
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Man has a crush on a married colleague. Does he a) approach her and confess his love, b) send her flowers and charm her, or c) break into her home and download child porn on her husband's computer in order to defame him?
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Jøe versus the völcanö
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Man joins elite group of Empire State platform diving champions
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"They wanted to shut down the picketing so now they're going to finance it"
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| (Some Dude) |
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The weirdest, coolest scale model of an entire WW2-era town you'll see today
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Man sets diapers on fire after argument, hopes he'll get a jury that pampers idiots like him
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"Sex-Change Killer to Wed Lesbian Murderess in Jail." And that's all I got to say about that
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Texas Stadium, home of the Cowboys... and tons of balls... bright yellow balls hidden throughout the stadium like easter eggs
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Men have women to thank for making beer so popular - and not just the ugly ones
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Arizona hipster cafe plans rabbit-based dishes for Easter Sunday menu; "I wish you a slow and painful death"-larity ensues
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this racing buggy
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Caption this 30 sec. clip
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Sell a goldfish to a 14 year old? That's a jailin'
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Drunk man fights with wife. Drunk man shoots dog. Drunk man passes out while trying to bury dog. Drunk man was hoping she wouldn't notice
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Denver drivers warned to be on alert this weekend for slow-moving drivers, massive but mellow traffic jams at all area Taco Bells
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| (News Miner) |
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Three legged sled dog seeks respect... and the man who killed his paw
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| Tue March 30, 2010 |
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The kings of debauchery are the Germans, at whose camp in northern Afghanistan 1.7 million pints of beer were consumed last year, according to a German parliamentary report
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"Retrosexuals" on the rise. Super gay puns, like "Menaissance", however, continue to thrive
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| (Journal-Star) |
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Screaming "Terrorist" in a crowded plane is not considered free speech
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Photoshop something else into this reflection
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A leading Canadian psychiatrist who claimed electroshock treatment could "cure" homosexuality has been arrested for sexually abusing his patients. His male patients. Shocking
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Papalgate is unfolding just like Watergate, except no one wants to see Deep Throat this time
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From the guy who kicked out customers for playing pool too loud to the man who attacked someone with a cheeseburger basket, a look at some of the meanest bartenders in San Francisco
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Slideshow of 38 absurdly-elaborate entrants in the Washington Post 2010 Peeps diorama contest
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Study finds public libraries are still viable, mostly as a means for low income people to watch porn
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Three boys prank high school "pass the mic" session with a dirty dancing routine. Since this is America, criminal charges have been filed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Drug lab shut down for drug use
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Key West police get federal stimulus money to kick dirty rotten homeless vagrants off their beaches because the beaches should be for dirty rotten drunk tourists
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Author and food activist Raj Patel has inadvertently found himself taking on a second career: denying he's a world-saving messiah who fulfills an ancient prophecy
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| (Some Guy) |
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BC Minister of Environment celebrates Earth Hour by lighting his cat on fire
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Florida woman robs bank, citing her 'Bucket List', because everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they expire
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| (Globe-Democrat) |
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NASA study finds that NASA spends too much on snacks
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Man escapes from jail when the guard falls asleep, but is soon back behind bars after his mom turns him back in. Surprisingly, this didn't happen in Mayberry
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Find out where the nation's top nude beaches are. Then experience crushing disappointment as you find out what nudists actually look like
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these patient passengers
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Nothing like a striptease video shot at the spot of JFK's assassination to piss everybody off
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Military says the the campaign to re-take Khandahar is going to be, well, kind of hard
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| (Johnson City Press) |
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Police find pot-filled safe in car in Hooters lot, two boobs arrested
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Part of Emperor Nero's Golden Palace collapses due to unrelenting showers
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Level headed global warming activists attempting to sue major corporations for...causing hurricane Katrina
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| (Some Greenie D) |
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Texas Frightmare Weekend. The cast of Christine will be there, plus Margot Kidder--as if that's not scary
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Councilman booted from office because he was addicted to Farmville. Councilman furious, threatens to come back with his entire Mafia Wars family
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you're going for DUI, go big: "It was really easy to find him with the trees dangling from the rig,"
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Fark: Man attempts hari-kari using cucumber. UltraFark: In his butt
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"Guys here are so small and skinny. They need to feel masculine, and they don't if you're bigger than them"
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Military states that it could take up to a year to remove "Jesus rifles" from circulation. Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch unavailable for comment
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Cigarettes may contain pig blood. Just what we need: the entire Middle East to go cold turkey all at once
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Scientists say the recent Right Whale die-off is the largest on record. Well, except for back when we used to stick pointy things in them and use them for fuel oil
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Further evidence that Basildon is out of ideas
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Man arrested for streaking through a TN supermarket give the most honest explanation for his behavior ever: "I was bored and had nothing better to do"
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My spaniel is stuck to my chair. I'm so very scared. Help
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The South will rise again. With H1N1, anyway
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States vying for education money dismayed to discover that $600M/2 = $300M, while 39*$0 = $0
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Iowa town cites separation of church and state behind their decision to rename "Good Friday" to something less offensive. What could possibly go wrong?
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You wanna fudge with me? You fudge with the best
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop an advertisement for an unworthy charitable organization
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University alumni association cancels foodbank fundraiser because students planned to use racist and dehumanizing instruments of oppression - novelty sumo suits
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| (Some Weenerless Guy) |
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Step One: Chop off own penis. StepAAAAAAARRGGH
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Protip: If you don't want to go to work, just call in sick. Don't phone in a bomb threat
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Scientists discover moral compass in the brain that can be disrupted by magnets, political aspirations
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Philippine bishops condemn Easter whippings and crucifixions as "out of context" practices done to attract tourists and gawkers
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Not news: Drunk man falls asleep at airport. Fark: Inside the engine of an Airbus A320
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Chinese child has 15 fingers and 16 toes, is naturally better at math (with pics)
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Semi-truck full of cheese explodes on Minnesota highway. Too bad it bleu up, that cheese could have feta lot of people
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| Mon March 29, 2010 |
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The world's worst custom Corvette
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Photoshop this well work
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The most terrifying thing here is that Bundy, Gacy, Dahmer, and the Night Stalker are not the most terrifying things here. Robert William Pickton, anyone?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Tim Horton's Doughnuts staff who worked in the Khandahar airport store are eligible for a war medal: the Chocolate Glazed Cross with Walnut Clusters
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Famous global warming activist freezes to death
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You can add "American Physicians and Surgeons" to the list of people who hate the idea of all Americans having health insurance
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| (GovExec) |
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Richard Nixon-speechwritin', "Bueller? Bueller?"-repeatin', creationist movie-narratin', conservative editorializin' Ben Stein stands up for... federal bureaucrats?
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Workers injured after a three-story building being converted to a four-story building suddenly became a one-story building
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Superman returns, beats the goddamn Batman
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Obama administration asks Israel not to build any more settlements in Jerusalem. Which is as likely to happen as Obama is to invite Sarah Palin to the White House to shoot baskets and watch "American Idol"
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Paul McCartney ex Heather Mills accused of leaning on her nanny
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Ah, spring, when a young man's fancy turns lightly to thoughts of LOCUST SWARMS AAAGGGHHHHH
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| (Some Guy) |
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Should I not have said that the soap was made from Holocaust victims? Was that wrong?
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Welcome to Tweddle Children's Animal Farm. We will be open until 7pm tonight. Please pet ONLY the animals that are moving, not the dead ones decaying next to them. Make sure to enjoy the E coli 0157 exhibit to the left
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That whole democracy thing? Let's put in on hold for a while. You know, for the environment
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Today's "you're doing it wrong" story comes to us from Cleveland where a man tried to elude police by breaking into jail
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Woman says she was raped at an ATM. We're all tired of all those fees
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| (KTLA) |
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When you have a consumable product, it's a good business move to give out free samples. Unless your product is heroin
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this stiff step
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Comedian who quieted rowdy lesbian hecklers is now on trial before province human rights commission for violating Canada's law against being a big fat meanie
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| (Daily Caller) |
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RNC Chair Michael Steele spent $2,000 at Voyeur West Hollywood, "a bondage-themed nightclub featuring topless women dancers imitating lesbian sex," which is outrageous, since that money could easily have bought genuine lesbian sex
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| (Bonedaddy King) |
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Human corpse in pub's freezer likely a health code violation
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The next time you tell somebody to get off your lawn, remember that they could return, steal your dog, and throw it off a bridge
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Duke sucks, a new iPhone app for Fark, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/21 - 3/27
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| (The Indy Channel) |
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Scary: cancer patient tries to call for help during a medical emergency but dials the wrong number. Hero: the student on the other end of the line finds a way to help save his life
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What kind of a creep steals $34 from a kid volunteer collecting donations? This kind
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Politicians unveil iPhone apps that allow their constituents to take a picture and then email it directly to the politician. Early projections anticipate this will allow the public to provide real-time feedback on potholes, penises
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Foiled "Christian Militia" attack plan called for assault on police officer and then again on his funeral procession
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| (Some Guy) |
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The good news about the new airline bagage fees is that they were able to decrease lost bag numbers by 23.8%. The bad news, that still equates to about losing 3000 bags/hr
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Shoemaker Doc Martens celebrates its 50th birthday, and if that name conjures up images of heavy black boots and your favorite Wilson's leather motocycle jacket, it's almost time to start chasing kids off your lawn
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Want to be a billionaire? Simple--just design the first social game that can be played equally on Facebook, television, or any handheld device. OK, go
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School for the blind gears up for fencing match. What could possibly go wrong?
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Many Canadians are obese, but doctors recommend against having stomach surgery for it if your BMI is 28, you're 72-years-old, or you're doing it in Tijuana
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Senior citizens busted for Jell-O tampering. Let's see how they wiggle out of this one
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Forget Jim Morrison. This ping pong table door is the greatest door ever
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New revelations about the Vatican's role in covering up hundreds of cases of abuse by priests is really putting a kink in the whole "make Pope John Paul II a saint" thing
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German university approves plan to train twenty of its students as Gladiators
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| (Some Crushinator) |
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Man gets blowjob from farmer's daughter; handjob from farmer
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| (Some Incipient Shredded Wheat) |
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Photoshop these beds of wheat
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The Japanese are now using ring tones for weight loss and hay fever therapy. And they say no one makes house calls anymore
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Screenwriter writes apology for "Battlefield Earth" but admits he's strangely proud of it: "Because out of all the sucky movies, mine is the suckiest"
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14 year old's mother is too drunk to drive so naturally he a) takes her keys b) calls the cops or c) stabs her?
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Billboard which shows Joseph and Mary in bed deemed 'not offensive'
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More than 120 miners trapped underground in China. This is not a repeat from 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, etc
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Suicide bombers on Moscow rush-hour subway kill at least 35, more than 30 wounded
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Some of the most analytical and logical people on the planet are Germans. The majority of Germans no longer believe in "global warming". When asked for comment, Al Gore responded with "Scheisse"
|
| (Some Guys) |
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Photoshop this shark snack
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