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| Sun March 28, 2010 |
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Time to panic, crazies. They're coming for your guns after all
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Good show old chap. This mugshot roundup is brought to you by the British Empire in the year of our Lord 1904
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75 years after its inception, Monopoly remains as fun as ever. Especially when it is played on a larger than life Monopoly board by people wearing hats symbolizing each play piece. I GET TO BE THE CAR
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Group told "porn leads to sex parties and prostitution and 'hijacks our brain' to make users never satisfied, always seeking more deviant images." He says that like it's a bad thing
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this 1940's beer drinker
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Aide to the Pope on ever-widening sex abuse scandal: "We should not be too scandalised if some bishops knew about it but kept it secret. This is what happens in every family, you don't wash your dirty laundry in public."
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25-year age difference? Can it work?
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Los Angeles County Sheriff's plan to use home monitoring for non-violent offenders to reduce jail population has hit a small snag. There aren't that many non-violent offenders in jail
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Protip: Never head butt a giraffe
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FARC to free kidnapped Colombian soldier. Speaking of guerilla leaders, just when is Drew getting his own Che Guevera style t-shirt for all the hipsters to wear?
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Woman arrested for giving drugs to, and having sex with three of the farking luckiest little bastards to walk the Earth
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Sad: Thieves stole nearly $11,000 from the VFW in a burglary last Sunday night. More sad: It had been collected to buy gift packages for overseas troops. Awesome: a one-day fundraiser on Friday resulted in nearly $13,000 in donations
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Step One: Steal underwear, candles, and shower hooks. Step 2: ???? Step 3: Profit (evidently this profit is made by confusing people to the point where they offer you money to make sense)
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Amazon's "Track Your Package" feature is great. But when your package goes off the grid and customer service says it was "eaten by an alligator," you may have a problem
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| (Some Guy) |
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The most awesome yet creepy miniature golf course ever just happens to be in the basement of a funeral home (w/pics)
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NYC environmental officials plan to release captured Manhattan coyote somewhere else in the five boroughs - so if you see a suspiciously hairy new Bronx councilman you'll know why
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How can one person visit Norway, Moscow, Madrid, Stockholm, Paris, Denmark, Naples, Sweden, Poland, Mexico, Peru, China, and Athens all in one day by car? Hint: You can get there from here
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| (Cape Cod Chronicle) |
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State's proposed modern replacement for historic wooden bridge has "context-sensitive" features like brown tinted concrete
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| (details.com) |
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How to stay sucessfully married to a porn star: Rule 1 - Never ask her how how her day was at work
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| (Springfield Republican) |
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Not wanting to sentence crack dealer to decade in prison under mandatory sentencing law, judge decides to wait for Congress to pass better law
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Middle school student criminally charged after bringing pocket knife to school. "In this day and age we have to take these reports seriously"
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Shroud of Turin to be taken out of P.T. Barnum's joke closet for first time in decade, bamboozling two million Vatican City visitors all over again with its ridiculous origin story
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Money talks, blue laws walk?
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Photoshop this yellow card complaint
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British teacher who called and texted disturbed, lying, and delusional male student 600 times did not have sexual affair with him, jury concludes
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Rommel, you magnificent bastard - I drank your tea
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| (WLBZ2.com) |
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The deadline is approaching for nominations for the state's list of 1,000 Great Places in Massachusetts. Last years winner? Foxwoods
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"We just pulled the rug out from under human space flight"
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If you get a note from your doctor saying you can't ride the bus, Massachusetts will pay $41 of the $43 cost of a private, direct, door to door ride
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11-year-old girl arrested for battery after throwing toy gun at her dad's head. Osama bin Laden oddly still on the loose
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Police chief says million dollar per year speed trap prevented "three to four fatals per year" in town with population 211. He's lying, of course
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Man arrested for fight in Chik-fil-A drive-thru. After police questioning, a spokesman for the restaurant responded, "don't have a cow"
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| (Las Cruces Sun-News) |
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18-year old defecates in car thinking it belonged to his girlfriend and... yeah, you already figured out where it goes from here
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Thought you had it rough walking uphill both ways to school? These kids get stung by scorpions and use goat dung instead of a chalkboard
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Old and busted: Lasik. New hotness: LSD-laced pickles. Wait, what?
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| (Some Gay) |
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Georgia high school students protest over a classmate's right to take his boyfriend to the prom. They're against it. Y'all are doing it wrong, y'hear?
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Well that was the worst fire drill ever
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| (Yandex) |
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Photoshop these creepy twins
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| (Providence Journal) |
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Would you pull out of a threesome with a 22-year old woman to respond to a call? If not, Cranston, Rhode Island does not want you on its police force
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Grocery store customer gives kidney to cashier. Why don't people use a debit card like everyone else
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News: Two men, confused about the difference between real life and GTA IV, engage in a two-mile shootout while driving down the road. Fark: One of them manages to shoot the other one in, of all places, the foot
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| Sat March 27, 2010 |
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Quaker Oats man hospitalized
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73-year-old woman unclear on the concept of "drive-through" window
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Nevada's first legal male prostitute gets sacked after sacking only 10 ladies in 2 months. Was it his eyes, his weird collagen lips, or the douchey Chinese tattoo that reads "lousy lay"? Yeah, there's a pic
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The last few years of a sportswriter who changed his sex twice, in a nutshell. With pics
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Photoshop this sizable salamander
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Today, lights around the world will go out for "Earth Hour" to help save the planet. The other 8759 hours are still ours. Stupid Earth
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Firefighters who threatened to burn houses down instead of save them, ran naked through the streets, drove fire trucks while drunk and trashed a whistleblower's car get... promoted?
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| (TheIndyChannel) |
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'Meat massacre' at supermarket as knife-wielding vegetarian runs amok. Police: "He thought if he could save one chubby girl, he's done his job"
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| (Some Facehugger) |
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Your Saturday WTF: Alien vs. Pooh
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A father had a picture taken of him kissing his naked baby boy. Walgreens reported the image as suspected sexual abuse. Husband and wife still in jail. The ray of sunshine: they will likely be deported for being illegals
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| (WhatPoll) |
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The top 10 nuclear explosions that changed history. (Is it wrong you can vote on this?)
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Goth kids roaming the streets are the result of good weather
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Guy gets tired of tailgaters, installs flamethrower on back of his scooter. For some reason cops have a problem with this. w/pic
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| (Crapids Gazette) |
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This one time at band camp, a 27 year old band instructor was arrested for having sex with one of his students even though she was 18 at the time. With a mugshot that says "Yeah, I'm busted, but hey, I nailed an 18 year old."
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Step 2: Hide $100,000* worth of drugs in underpants. *Police estimated value; actual value $250
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Toyota's 150+ lawyers are revving up preparations for a major class action lawsuit and show no signs of slowing down
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A true Southern gentleman always says "ma'am" and apologizes repeatedly while carjacking your vehicle
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Some group of asshats thinks Ronald McDonald should retire
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If your granny has Osteoporosis, she should probably knock back a few and eat the worm, according to this
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this pokey guy
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"Ladies and gentlemen, if you look to the left of the plane, you'll see a volcano erupting. Oh, and the Sun is there, too." (w/ awesome pic)
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| (1000 Awesome Things) |
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Wrong-colored foods live on. (Who else remembers Purple Ketchup and Shamrock Shakes?)
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Think you're having a tough go of it? This guy survived three Gulf Coast hurricanes, a tornado in Indiana and flooding in New Hampshire
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In Russia your can name your child Number 16 Bus Shelter or Violence, but Biological Human Object is just too over the top
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Public overwhelmingly supports requirement to make all airport passengers subject to whole-body scans that can see through clothing. What could possibly go wrong?
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Remember all those Fark Experts™ who used the recent bitterly cold winter to argue against global warming? Turns out it was the fifth warmest winter in recorded history
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Endangered flat-headed cat hopes he can find a mate for Caturday (with awww pic)
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Tips from New Orleans bartenders about how best to stoke a flask
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New research shows that men do not grow grumpy with age. Now get off my lawn
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There are so many medical marijuana applications that Colorado's health department will no longer review them before accepting them
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| (Some Big Moth) |
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Photoshop this enormous lepidopteran
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Behold the "real" face of Jesus (pic)
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Judges rule that tasering is a legit response to a pregnant woman refusing to sign a traffic ticket
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Man achieves flawless "WTF is wrong with you" victory, beats up quadruple amputee roommate when she blocked his view of the TV
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How to beat the Westboro Baptist Church
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When you're on the lam for stealing some cell phones, don't stop the investigating cop to ask for directions
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| Fri March 26, 2010 |
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Russia bans Mein Kampf, saying it encourages extremist and violent behavior. You know who else banned books?
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| (Some Guy named kip) |
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Yeah, about that strip club you're running out of the trailer park
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Investigators try to get 20 phony products "Energy Star" approved, and 15 of them -- including a gasoline-powered alarm clock -- get approved. But don't worry, the government will be totally competent in running your healthcare
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The six most baffling things every TV ad assumes are true. #1 is spot-on
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Chop Shop discovered by task force that hopefully never uses acronyms
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| (Some Guy) |
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Georgia bakery receives surprise marijuana shipment. Serves the best muffins EVER
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"I'm Comin' Elizabeth. This is the big one. It's this weeks Mugshot round-up"
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Psychologist invents butt bra. Hmmm. Nouveau cheek?
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Applebee's new Double-Glazed™ ribs, Won Ton Tacos™, Steak Quesadilla Towers™, and Vagrant Pissing Outside the Windows™. There's no place like the neighborhood™
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this F-16 mechanic
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Old and busted: NIMBY response to sex offenders. New hotness: Alzheimer's patients? Not in my neighborhood
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Chinese create deodorant capable of covering up the smell coming from your mom
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Farmer at odds with state regulators, who won't let him pop holes in his house-sized feces bubbles because another farmer was blown 40 feet into the air trying it last year
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Not sufficiently impressed with 47,000 miles of concrete, design chosen for yet another Eisenhower Memorial in D.C
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Nation heads seek deal to control arms
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Cleveland AIDS Taskforce wants to reduce HIV's negative stigma. Their genius idea: distribute "HIV POSITIVE" shirts (with pic)
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Ithaca embracing its nerd image, with local businesses offering discounts for Rubik's cube solving and Mensa memberships. The ability to withstand having one's underpants pulled up over one's head still embarrassing
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How likely is it that any of us will see anything today that's creepier than a shelf full of Mexican baby mummies? (Answer: Not very)
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| (ecr.co.za) |
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Reporter posts picture of himself in a bra to raise cancer awareness. OR How to counter a blackmail attempt
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Sen. Chuck E. Schumer needs your help to land a space shuttle in Manhattan
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As if you needed another reason to NOT go to Iceland, they have now banned all strip clubs
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| (Some Naked Guy) |
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Police agree to investigate man's complaints on the condition he keeps his clothes on when near the police station
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| (Some Guy) |
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"I just flew into a massive fit of rage and shot my wife during counseling." We've all been there, Chuck
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| (Some Guy) |
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I'm not sure what the warning signs of a problem drinker are, but "tried to revive a dead possum" has got to be one of them
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What better way to extend a hand in friendship to Cuba than sending a replica of a U.S. slaving ship to dock at Havana Harbor? I mean, really
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| (Sweetness and Light) |
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Want out of the health care program? All you have to do is believe in Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, or Isadora Duncan
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Church of Lunar Consciousness suffers legal setback
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Playboy models =36-25-36. Al qaeda models = C4-25-36
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Despite prison officials saying it's not really a problem, lawmaker wants to ban Playboy from Oregon prisons
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| (Some Villain ending in O) |
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SuperVillian Smackdown: Sinestro vs Magneto
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Plans for a lesbian holocaust memorial attract serious tongue-lashing from scholars
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Computer tech consultant in a small Montana town claims to be the Holy Ghost. He's a bit Waco
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| (Some Universal Studio) |
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Photoshop this Singapore sling
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Latest bogus, media-created non-trend is the "hegan," male vegans who do it not as a political statement but to look better, live longer, and be weak like a girly-man
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The cease fire between North and South Korea seems to have ceased
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TSGs Friday Photo Fun resurrects and old favorite. Match the DWI arrestee to their BAC
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Scientists link rapid rise in head and neck cancers to a virus spread by oral sex, according to a new study that you should NEVER let your wife or girlfriend see
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Dumb: Stealing a handbag. Dumber: Which belongs to a police officer. Dumbest: While in a bar full of police officers
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The media would rather cover "Sandra Bullock: America's Sweetheart gets wronged" than health care reform. No wonder: Bullock has a nicer butt than Nancy Pelosi
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In a move that will upset nobody, repressed white southerners want to declare themselves "Confederate Southern Americans" on the census. Try "hillbillies," guys, it's got a nicer ring
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| (Inquisitr) |
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Protip: If you're going to brag about your XBox and plasma TV on Facebook, don't post updates saying exactly when you won't be home
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Sydney residents warned to be on the lookout for the woman who has been indecently assaulting men before robbing them. Subby was a victim of this on Tuesday and Wednesday, but couldn't find her when he went back yesterday
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| (WLBZ2.com) |
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Parent arrested after the police find a video of their three-year old smoking pot. The parents claim he was way too drunk to be smoking any pot
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Surely the author of this article must have considered using a pseudonym
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Eleven women and one man busted in prostitution sting; after looking at the mugshots, subby thinks eleven men and one woman sounds more like it
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Swedish prisoner decides to reenact the Shawstank Redemption. Guards not amused
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So, which musical instrument performs best in a street fight?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Challenge: Bring this painting to life
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In what may be the worst cost-cutting idea in history, Wisconsin college changes font on their campus email, waits for cash to roll in
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Man shooting at farmhouse wounds himself instead, he couldn't even hit the side of a barn
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| Thu March 25, 2010 |
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How cool is Barack Obama? He stopped into an Iowa City bookstore, bought $37 worth of kids books, including a Star Wars pop-up book for Robert Gibbs' son
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Man spends thousands from dead girlfriend and kids' charity fund on escorts and booze. The rest he just squandered
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Not content with co-opting PBR, skee ball, Vespas, Big Game Hunter, 70s fashion, 80s fashion, 90s fashion, bowling, dandyism, track bikes, ping pong, cupcakes, knitting, hipsters now turning their sights on... bingo
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| (Some Guy) |
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UPDATE: Farker MisterSparkle's video contest entry is in 26th place. Help him get to #1 so he can donate all $250,000 to charity. No voting. Just watch, rate and share
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What does it take to capture a coyote in Manhattan? Four cop cars, four unmarked cop cars, two motorcycles, an emergency services truck, and a helicopter. If this was Alabama, all it would have taken was a ten-year old with a BB gun
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Photoshop theme: Combine a romantic comedy and a horror film
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Good form, nice speed, slightly worrisome angle
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Mexico arrests "King of Heroin", is cooperating with US authorities. In a statement, the Rolling Stones said they will do their best to carry on without Mr. Richards and wish him and his legal team all the best
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H is for Hagar the Horrible Hacking Hello Kitty in Half
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Another Fark-ready headline: "Sex workers refusing to take legal brothel plan lying down"
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Dear citizens of suburban Columbus, we are still missing $90,000 that fell off an armored car yesterday, please return it when you get a chance
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sony just bought the rights to Michael Jackson for a video game. Yeah, a Michael Jackson video game
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Today's Fark-ready headline: Military tightens rules on gay discharges
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84 year old ex-Marine holds off teargas-wielding SWAT team for nearly six hours in his sleep
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Local Trustee avoids paying $750 in relief to poor woman- by paying $20K in legal fees to rich lawyer
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Turns out all those swine flu headlines were a repeat from 1918
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Well, there was at least one silver lining to the Haiti earthquake: All the drug lords moved out, leaving behind lots of empty, palatial and built to code mansions behind them
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| (Some Guy) |
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Your Daily "Awwwwwww ..." : Puppies Eating Ice Cream
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In an effort to prove that they really do need a government nanny, insurance company denies newborn baby coverage by claiming his congenital heart defect is a preexisting condition
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Michelle Obama ends the Pizza Wars, declares New York better than Chicago
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Dumb:Teachers refuse to help 5-yr old boy out of tree on school grounds because "health and safety" rules forbids it. Dumber:Passer-by helps boy down from 20-ft height and is arrested for trespassing
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Uncle Sam used to subsidize firms that gave retired workers a prescription drug benefit. The subsidy is being cut so firms may drop the coverage. Result? More retirees will use Medicare, costing the taxpayer even more. Nice work, Congress
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Vermont nuclear reactor leak plugged after seeping into local water supply. Enjoy the three-eyed fish, hippies
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Pope benedict may become the first Pope since the middle ages to be forced to resign in disgrace as it is revealed he was warned about another priest who molested over 200 children, but took no action
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When it comes to crime scene tampering, it seems we have found the enemy (puts on sunglasses)...and he is us. YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
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New mayor takes a look around Detroit, calls for a legion of bulldozers to finish the job
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Htwngs +1/4..Calamari -2 1/8..Guinesses +4..Bud Light -6 1/4..PZZA +2 ...BRgrs-1/2
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All right stop collaborate and listen, ice is cracked with a quite deadly intention
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State: It's come to our attention that you've been making videos about mental illness wearing makeup and a birdcage on your head. Psychiatrist: Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
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Woman files lawsuit claiming that a faulty movie theater armrest fell on her head during a movie while she was using her cell phone. Coming soon to a theater near you: "Instant Karma." Hero tag for the armrest
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If you have yer' wedding at Bass Pro Shop, and yer' bride is wearing camouflage ....youuu might be a redneck (video)
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"Balloon Boy" hoaxer Richard Heene is out of jail and back home trying to meet the condition of his probation that he refrain from being an unmitigated douchebag
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Good idea: Teach forensic science to kids. Bad idea: By roleplaying a teacher getting shot. Terrible idea: Don't tell the kids it's fake
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Nanotechnology is awesome. It makes sunblock creamier. It makes your socks smell fresher longer. And there's a tiny, miniscule, barely noticeable side effect of causing you to die
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"Give me the money. Oh, and can you please not tell my mom about this?"
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If you want to live a long, happy life: hit the books, hit the ball and grin in a way that gives you crow's feet
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Photoshop these screaming riders
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Burnes had been in the women's section of the store with his skirt kicked up showing his white girdle and dark thong underwear." And a mugshot to add to your collection
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Car-sized sinkhole stops traffic on I-240 in Memphis. NOM
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TSA rules on service monkey inspection. Duff elephant still walks unchecked
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these wishing-they-were-real-alien guys
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| (WBTV) |
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Three criminal masterminds rob a Taco Bell via the drive-thru and escape with about $5 worth of caramel apple empenadas
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| (Some Guy) |
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Saddest. Book. Ever. (*Submitter adds it to Amazon wish list*)
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| (Florida Today) |
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If your house is foreclosed upon, here's a tip: don't make it seem like the cleaning crew just discovered the Well of Souls from Raiders of the Lost Ark
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Men think (boobies) about sex (sex) two and a half (boobies) times longer (boobies) than women. Boobies
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 255: "Pan Fried." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed March 24, 2010 |
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Ahhhhh, spring ... when Wiccans celebrate Beltane and get all stabby
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| (KPTV) |
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Rabbi warns of pirate matzah. "So, a scurvy dog you are now? Pillaging on the Sabbath? Oh, and the tattoos. You want your mother should roll over in her grave? Oy."
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Public opinion of Toyota's quality plummets. Obvious tag beams with pride
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Sixteen railway cars and whaddaya get / A runaway train and deeper in debt / St. Peter don't ya call me 'cuz no one's on board / They crashed into an Oslo fjord
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Fate of legalizing pot in California is near. Far out, man
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Photoshop this swing time
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If you dumped hundred of delicious baked goods along side an Indiana river, the police would like a word with you. Mmmmm, baked goods
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| (Some Guy) |
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He says he's sorry for throwing money at a man with Parkinson's disease. That makes it all better, right?
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In a blow to Internet Rule #34, Governor of Washington signs a bill banning the shackling of pregnant inmates
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Real-life Tarzan says he loves being surrounded by tigers in his home. Next year's headline today: "Family stunned after beloved tiger kills their father"
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Bet you didn't know Curious George is a Holocaust survivor
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Reading scores lagging behind math. You read this headline twice
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Apropos of nothing, here's a theory on why we can't catch Bigfoot
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"We have airline records of the State Dep/CIA tails. Don't think you can get away with it. You cannot. This is WikiLeaks."
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| (Some Guy) |
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According to a new study, women nowadays are more likely to have sex on the first date. But not with you
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Old Bridge old bridge repair repairs fragment fragments, state State Police police speaker, speaking
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Higher prices for chicken wings and lower demand for chicken breasts led to the abomination that is "boneless chicken wings"
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Photoshop this risky raker
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Five dystopias healthcare reform could prevent and one it could cause. All Subby wants to know is; when are Milla Jovovich and Charlize Theron showing up in the black spandex?
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Taking a sealed bottle of wine from NYC to NJ by train? That's a police beating
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"Prescription drug misuse crosses all demographics, from lawyers to middle-class mothers," says police officer with very little understanding of what all demographics means
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Would-be bank robbers discover that there is an inverse relationship between your robbery success rate and how far in advance you call for an appointment to do it
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Proposed US law would single out cyber-crime havens such as Russia, Nigeria, and 4chan
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Due to budget cuts, Houston's police helicopters will no longer have any actual police on board
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Steve McQueen: Unpublished manly man pics of manly man, man
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| (Some Guy) |
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A look back at the greatest out-of-print 1970s children's poetry book ever
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Things your insurance company doesn't want to hear: "Um, bad news: my test drive just cost you £300,000"
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The coolest recreation of 'The Scream' made from cardboard boxes you may ever see
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Chelsea, you're fired. [comment] [like]
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It's an age-old question. When foreclosing on homes, do you put the bodies to the curb with rest of the furniture?
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Caesarian births hit record high in 2007. Veni, vidi, vasectomy
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Finally, the New York Times makes its obituaries nearly as awesome as the Telegraph's, managing to work in "topless dancers, full male nudity, plastic phalluses and a bizarre auto-da-fé"
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Belgian judge rules that someone owning a nice house in a poor area deserves to be robbed. No, seriously
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Cities ranked by penis size shows why they call New Orleans 'The Big Easy'. Your city is small, shriveled, and insignificant
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man assaults his girlfriend for initiating a threesome with him and another girl. Dude, you are doing it WRONG
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In a world of "You're doing it wrong", this guy wins. (With "barbed wire really hurts" mugshot)
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"From hand-cranked sex toys, to eco-friendly underwear, I think green sex is having its moment right now."
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Teenager survives having 10 inch knife embedded all the way into his head. (w/ most awesome x-ray pic)
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Here's a list of the 50 top "elite baby names" to help guarantee your precious snowflake-to-be gets the right start on the road to pretentious douchebaggery
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Lawmakers want to create a National ID card calling it a "high-tech, fraud-proof Social Security card". Guess they never bothered to read what it says on the back of their Social Security Card
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In what may be the greatest media ploy ever, small almost never heard of, middle of nowhere Texas university is going against the grain and hosting a gay Jesus play
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this exhausting apparatus
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| (Some Guy) |
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"A shirtless man thrashing a large sword and armed with throwing knives gave himself up outside a lumber-supply store." This headline oozes testosterone
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Off-duty college cop accidentally shoots himself. In the ass. Welcome to Fark, Officer Mallin
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New high-tech devices at airports will track how long people are stuck in security lines. This will be much more useful than hiring additional security employees
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| (AZ Family) |
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Arizona Legislature approves measure that will allow people to carry concealed weapons with no permits, no training, and no background checks. What could possibly go wrong?
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| Tue March 23, 2010 |
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As the hobo sighs / On a cold and gray Philly mornin / Feelin the wrath of preteen scorn / In the ghetto / Fun and games they cry / But if there's one thing they don't need / It's for a non-vagrant victim to bleed / In the ghetto
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New study says it would cost $285 billion to find, apprehend, detain, legally process and transport the almost 11 million illegal immigrants in the U.S
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Hot: Woman dumps boiling water on a man. Not hot: Mugshot
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Utah's liquor monopoly makes cuts, sells hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place, staggers past GO, collects $200
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Won't somebody think of the children? One school principal did: "We can help them learn better. We can help them be less stressed by simply changing the time of the school day." Truancy down 27%
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Having solved all of Albuquerque's pressing civic problems, mayor orders swift investigation of zoo who dumped dismembered remains of beloved giraffe into the trash
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this ball of rubber bands
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No means no, unless the question is, "Were you sexually assaulted?"
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Hipsters vote themselves a hipper name: Fauxhemians, as in "Look at this farking Fauxhemian"
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| (Texas Monthly) |
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Ever visit a "massage parlor"? Congratulations on participating in modern-day slavery
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It turns out that shielding your child from society's demand for traditional gender roles won't make them a more open, honest person. It'll just kinda fark them up in the head
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Reflecting on once-prosperous days along the now-shrinking Salton Sea, which in fact is not a natural feature at all, but a dumbass human accident (pics)
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Man with rare blood type has donated blood over 1000 times, and in the process has saved over two million babies. Presumably so he can yell at them to get off his lawn later
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Under Arkansas law you can run as "Bubba", "Porky" or even "Two" but they draw the line at "Colonel", even if you are one
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Not News: Skinny high school dork has no prom date. Also Not News: Turns to begging Maxim model for date via YouTube. Fark: She accepts and goes to prom with him
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Motion control advances mean future generations could play outside
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| (KSTP) |
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Today at the Children's Museum, two angry, angry mommies will demonstrate the effect of force, momentum, and displacement
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| (Some Guy) |
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Phobic woman can only have sex outdoors. "It's not like I haven't tried. I just can't do it indoors without freaking out. I feel like I'm being choked and about to pass out." Giggity
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this sword-swallowing street performer
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When French people are jumping out of windows claiming to be dragonflies, you better believe the CIA is behind it
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Despite being arrested at 3:22 AM, this hottie's makeup still looked perfect
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After sucessful cladestine tests in Curry restaurants worldwide, India is now weaponizing the world's hottest chili
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Freak storm hits Western Australia. No word on how the precipitation will help the Alpine resorts
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Twenty-five things in the US that Canadians should see before they die. Number 1, Times Square. Numbers 2 through 25, Florida (slide show)
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Teen beauty queen sues reality show, claiming producers made her look like spoiled brat. "I am the most popular girl in school."
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Oysters in the Chesapeake Bay are becoming so scarce that people are risking arrest to poach them. Or serve them raw with mignonette sauce
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| (Some Guy) |
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The ten best "extreme ironing" stunts from around the world
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Headline: "Nazi doctors' documents found in attic". Article: Food coupons. It's not news
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Tournament time Fark party in the Holy City with a side of Drew Curtis. 1pm this Sunday. Duke sucks
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Germans convict 88-year-old former Waffen SS man of murdering Dutch civilians during the war. He'll get life in prison or six months, whichever is longer
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Good 'ol boys from Tennessee dismayed to discover that volunteering information about the drugs paraphernalia, ammo, concealed guns and weed would be taken seriously by New Jersey law enforcement officers (with surprised mugshot)
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The good news is that recent arrest of top Taliban officals has seriously damaged their organizational structure. The bad news is that this has only made it harder to negotiate an end to the war
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If your own daughter won't let you pick her up from school... yeah, you might be too drunk to drive, mom
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America's most 'underwater' cities. And no, New Orleans, Waveland, and Biloxi did not make the list
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Handgun, check. Tire Iron, check. Wrong address, check. Mugshots, check
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They have shark-fights at U.N. meetings? Now I totally want to join
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| (ABC7 LA) |
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Ric Romero clarifies the immediate and long term effects of the health care reform bill in a thoughtful, and politically neutral timeline. Submitter is buying a lottery ticket, and hitting on the clerk
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Indian guru attempts to kill talk show host live on TV with his mind. Geraldo unimpressed
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| (Some Guy) |
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4 teens + 8 slices of pizza + SWAT team = X years behind bars
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| (Some Guy) |
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If I give you one piece of advice this year, it is this: if you are in a police holding cell, don't use your one phone call to call 911 to report that you are trapped
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| (Some Primordial Ooze) |
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Blood waterfall discovered in Antarctica
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Traditional wedding game of Russian Roulette goes badly wrong. There might be a hint as to why in the photo attached to the article
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The parable of the good samaritan fails to mention the part where the accident victim steals the rescuer's car
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Over the years, paintings depicting the Last Supper show food portions growing larger, becoming super-sized. Further research also indicates it wasn't a happy meal
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| (Courier Mail) |
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Note to the Australian police: If somebody beating an unconscious officer responds to your pulling a weapon with taunts of "what are you going to do, shoot us?" the correct answer is normally "yes"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Young me, Now me
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Ben & Jerry's, Starbucks will both giving away free food today
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Hey... ever see that episode of Family Guy where the dog becomes a pilot for Quantas and he has overwhelming urges to just nose the the entire plane full of people into the ground but they keep making him fly anyway? Really? Well guess what?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this meal in progress
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Bragging on TV about how much you make by shoplifting toys and selling them on eBay is admissible in court
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Drunk driving is never cool, especially if you're a state trooper on duty
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| Mon March 22, 2010 |
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If you gash your leg with a chainsaw, maybe it's a good idea to finish trimming the tree after you stop bleeding to death
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| (Some Canadian Museum) |
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Time traveler caught on camera from 1941?
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| (Some Noid) |
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The 13 most annoying ad characters of all-time
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Remember when your father told you that your had to live up to the family name? Well this guy took that advice literally. Patrick Molesti wanted on child pornography charges and for attempting to buy a five-year-old on the internet
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this undone umbrella
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| (the frisky) |
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Plus-sized models don't make women feel any better about themselves than skinny ones. In short, pretty much everything makes women feel like shiat about how they look
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Don't you hate it when you leave work early to get your wallet and discover a family of Romanians living in your home?
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Thanks to a large rock, 66-year-old woman is able to keep a would-be kidnapper, tigers at bay
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The five creepiest unsolved crimes nobody can explain
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| (madison.com) |
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You're dissatisfied with the car wash you've just received. Do you: a) ask him to redo it, b) ask for your money back, or c) hit him in the head with a hammer?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Scientists say maple syrup is rich in antioxidants, which means you should feel guilt-free when using it to smother your waffles, pancakes, doughnuts, and bacon
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Old and busted: Ice cream socials. New hotness: Machine gun socials
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Onecity is "situated between the Mississippi and the Rockies and consists of 2 1/2-mile-square structures, each divided into an over-building and an under-building and each containing nine arenas," and freaks Subby right the hell out
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Despite it covering more than 19,000 acres, two jet skiiers on Lake Havasu still manage to crash into each other
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| (Some responsible use of funds) |
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Rebuilding efforts in Haiti will focus on rapidly sheltering as many people as possible. No wait, that would make sense. Instead, they're focusing on building "green" and "sustainable" structures
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If for years you've been flushing thousands of heavy-duty industrial paper towels down your toilet, employees at the Yakima sewage treatment center would like you to knock it off
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"Vortex junctions" are going to replace roundabouts, which are the worst thing to happen to America, ever. Can't we just get a farking stoplight?
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German diocese probes sex abuse allegations, choir boys
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NJ shore town mayor arrested for interfering with arrest of NJ shore town mayor's daughter who was arrested for interfering with arrest of NJ shore town mayor's son
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Cargo ships near California figure out best way to clean up the environment. Just burn their dirty air polluting fuel where nobody cares, a few miles farther away
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Stop me if you've heard this one: so a televangelist, a hooker, and a llama walk into a bar
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Before Chile was shaken by a massive earthquake, there were UFOs and strange lights emerging from the ocean
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| (Nevada Appeal) |
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And topping the list of "things you don't want to find in a controlled burn area": an unexploded 8-inch mortar
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Man tries to steal palm trees from gynecologist. This is why there's a Florida tag
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Spray-painted chickens run amok on Pittsburgh campus
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Five-year old girl survives crocodile attack. Doctors forbid her from swimming with manta rays at any point in the future
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PepsiCo to create thriving black market for old, stale Fritos
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Drew talks about ratcheted-up rhetoric, the NCAA tournament and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 3/14 - 3/20. Duke sucks
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Bride arrested for baring her breasts at her own wedding party and hitting her doorman with a shoe
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Sick of moving decimals on its currency, Argentina decides to combat inflation with...subsidized fish
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Photoshop these runners hitting the wall
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Dear skank: Thanks for sleeping with my husband and breaking up my marriage. You now owe me $9 million
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Fake tan foul-ups.... cast of Jersey Shore oddly absent
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Dubai bans restaurants from cooking with alcohol. Apparently someone missed science class
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British Airways facing busiest day of strike
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That hot 28-year old nurse you've been talking to online doesn't actually understand your problems, isn't a woman, and just wants to watch you kill yourself
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Edmonton firefighters and police unable to catch peacock, although it should be easier today now that it's frozen
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| (Some Bartender) |
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Stop me if you've heard this one. A bank robber walks into a bar in a hospital gown with an intravenous needle in his arm
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Health care stocks move sharply higher on news that adding 30,000,000 more customers might not be a bad thing
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Motorviking
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Cancer survivor loses her insurance because she had the audacity to move to a different address
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If you ever get the urge to run into traffic and try and lift a taxi with your bare hands, make sure you strip naked first, otherwise it's just silly (Not safe for work)
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Do not meddle in the affairs of teenage girls, for they are subtle and quick to accuse you of rape
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Gay couple were turned away from a bed and breakfast by its Christian owner who claimed it was against her convictions for two men to share a bed, didn't want her pillows bitten
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Modern day UK explained in one car ad
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You know Spring is officially here when the flowers start to bloom, college basketball is on TV, and a bunch of horsemen in Kyrgyzstan chase a goat carcass around an arena
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this extraordinary eye
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Meet the amazing Lego king who has much, MUCH more free time on his hands than you
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| (Some Guy) |
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New Jersey legislation seeks to redefine "smoking" as "inhaling/exhaling smoke or any other substance or vapor that can be inhaled and exhaled". What could possibly go wrong?
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It was a tough few years, but in 2010 Phoenix Police can afford to fly their surveillance jets again, so they just bought another one for $4M. WTF? Why do the police need a jet that can cross the city in two minutes?
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| (San Luis Obispo Tribune) |
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Former 1st Lieutenant in the Marines during WWII passes away at the age of 93. She was also a Hollywood dancer, college professor, Amazonian explorer, award-winning photographer, and loving mother. They don't make 'em like her anymore
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