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Sun December 27, 2009
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not News: Student punished for sneaking out of school. News: Student's punishment is standing outside in the cold. Fark: Principal goes drinking and leaves student to die
source: chinadaily.com.cn   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
White House spokesman Mike Hammer issues strongly-worded statement on Iran, their recent oppression of the masses, and their shortage of the kind of blonde who'd make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window, sport
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Your latest in traffic updates, straight from this woman's bedroom
source: myfoxphoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Israel National News)
 
 
 
If you're going to blind the pilot of an aircraft with a laser, make sure he's not flying a helicopter for the local police department
source: israelnationalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nigerians blame the Crotchbomber's radicalization on his foreign education
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Police in Texas looking for murder suspect described as a white supremacist named Bubba who drives a pickup with Republican party stickers. This shouldn't be difficult
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Copyright lawyers would like to remind Christian teenagers wearing knock-off "Abreadcrumb & Fish" T-shirts and "iPray" hats about the Eighth Commandment
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
He blew up a Nazi atomic bomb plant, ate the contents of a reindeer's stomach, and crossed the Pacific on a balsawood raft. RIP Knut Haugland, 92
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Rough decade for Florida: Elian Gonzalez, Dale Earnhardt, Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, Ted Williams' head, Terri Schiavo, boars castrated on the radio, Debra Lafave, (Headline is too long; keep it under 250 characters or so)
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(kcci)
 
 
 
Six arrested for roughhousing at a gas station. No word on if they were drinking orange mocha frappachinos
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
What's the difference between porn and treasured national archival documents? Apparently, about 200 years (with example of what Victorian porn might look like)
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Top sexy nerds of 2009. Yes, she is on there. Her, too, and yes, her as well
source: sexynerd.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Roman Polanski is overwhelmed by the support since his arrest, makes him feel like a 13-year-old again
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS3.com)
 
 
 
Bank collapses, gets covered by TARP
source: cbs3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Tuberculosis, now available in new ultra-strength. Ask your mortician if TB XXDR is right for you. Side effects may include coughing, darkened skin, and extermination of humanity
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Terrorism no longer suspected in second airline incident. The guy who locked himself in the bathroom for an hour? Yeah, he ate airline food
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Olympian)
 
 
 
Chemical plant searches salt pile for seasoned employee
source: theolympian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: "If I could turn back time..."
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Flight 253 from Amsterdam to Detroit is disrupted by Nigerian passenger. This is not a repeat from Christmas Day
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tunnel technicians
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tough Girl)
 
 
 
Caption this Tough Girl
source: imagevat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Ivana Trump taken off of plane for doing what we all wish we could do to homegrown terrorists
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Where Americans Aren't Moving. Hint: The top 5 states are blue ones and one is Obama's home state
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Awesome: scientists discover guaranteed fountain of youth, a way for everyone to live longer, cancer-free. Bad: by eating less. AAAUUGGGH: especially sugar
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Latest Oz fad includes morans swimming into baited crocodile traps, taking photos of ensuing hilarity
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Mississippi mom is first woman to officiate a bowl game. Hotness has been challenged, though her status as a pharmaceutical rep merits further review
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police forced to drop 'Christmas' from poster advertising their increased public presence over holidays in case it upsets atheists or other militants who can't bear to hear that people believe in religions other than theirs
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Nanny State bans Bingo phrases like 'two fat ladies 88' and 'legs 11' due to fear of lawsuits. "What's the alternative, 'two generously proportioned people of either gender?' It's not very snappy."
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
The Top 10 Top 10 lists of 2009
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metacafe)
 
 
 
Two towns, two churches, 50,000 handmade rockets fired between them during mass. Amen
source: metacafe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Swedish researchers conclude there is probably no Santa. Here comes the science
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The latest beauty treatment which might possibly be bullshiat: human placenta
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Columnist marries Paris Hilton in Las Vegas for a reality show. Yet conservatives still insist it's the gays who are ruining traditional marriage
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat December 26, 2009
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
"Is it after four minutes past two in the afternoon? That's the exact moment today when, according to a new survey, festive revellers get fed up of eating leftover turkey"
source: scotlandonsunday.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Teenagers are using repeat abortions as a form of birth control, with some girls having four or more terminations by the age of 18"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Turtle farts raise an alarming stink
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
News: Governor resigns due to sex tape. Fark: With three women. UltraFark: He's 86
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Flying to suck even harder - new restrictions after Nigerian bomber include not leaving one's seat for the last hour of flight
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
What a RC plane sees when you try to kill it with fireworks
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Why we should call the new year Twenty-Ten, not Two Thousand-Ten
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tree trek
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
We've secretly placed this 11 year-old sex attacker in public schools. Let's see what happens
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Female PhD student gets sick of hearing complaints about women parking, decides to do scientific study to prove them wrong (with bonus feminist reaction in last paragraphs)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Coast Reporter)
 
 
 
Canadian district officials order dogs not to chase squirrels "without provocation"
source: coastreporter.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nigerian Banker claims to be father of Detroit bombing suspect. He needs an account number to transfer funds so he can bail him out
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Driver says he had no idea he was breaking the law by going 98 mph because the speed limit signs weren't lit up
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telluride Watch)
 
 
 
If you are visiting Telluride and look way up in the mountains above town and see something that looks like a real machine gun nest, rest assured, that's exactly what it is
source: telluridewatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Elderly man plays along with phone scammer; suddenly finds himself the most popular person in Nigeria
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these piles of salt
source: img120.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Citizen-Times.com)
 
 
 
Not News: Cat goes missing. News: Cat is found. Fark: 12 years later. Welcome to the Christmas miracle edition of Caturday
source: citizen-times.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you rob a fast-food joint, don't order a meal and sit down to eat it after holding the place up. "We've come across some stupid criminals in our time but this beats all," police marvel
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
Jesus appears on banana. Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron come to adore Him
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Canadian drivers offer tips to British on how to drive safely on roads covered with snow and ice. It's not going to hurt you folks in the southern states to read this either
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Thomas the Tank Engine comes to life: English steam locomotive subs for electric trains delayed by snow and ice; Sir Topham Hatt approves
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British councils declare Dec. 26 not a holiday so they can write thousands of tickets to drivers who park in spaces that are free on public holidays
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Actor Charlie Sheen was arrested early Friday and charged with second degree assault and menacing and criminal mischief. With pic of what a menacing Charlie Sheen might look like
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri December 25, 2009
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Girl suspended for bringing peppermint oil to school. "The oil is an unregulated over-the-counter drug"
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Step on a crack, break your mother's back. Step on a shark, _______
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Where should a father take his reunited son he barely knows who speaks little English to avoid the press, c) Disney World on the busiest day of the year
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Man detained in Detroit after attempting to light a powdery substance on a Northwest Airlines flight
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Fool breaks into a police officer's home. The mugshot tells the rest of the story
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Resting Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bushed guy
source: bigpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
58-year-old woman arrested for having sex with 14-year-old boy. W/pic of "dear god, what the hell was he thinking?"
source: kesq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PTI News)
 
 
 
Man gets eyesight restored after stem cell treatment. I SAID MAN GETS EYESIGHT RESTORED AFTER STEM CELL TREATMENT
source: ptinews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Inventor spends Christmas with the perfect woman - his custom-made fembot: "Aiko is always helpful and never complains. She is the perfect woman to have around at Christmas" (w/ pics that will creep you the hell out)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
No one knows anything about Jesus
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, and realized the pickup truck was about to crash
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoullian)
 
 
 
If you're intoxicated and driving with a suspended license, don't call 911 to tell dispatchers that you've just been shot and heading to the nearest hospital, especially if you haven't been shot and merely ran out of gas instead
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Going to school in a Santa suit? That's a suspending
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Time again for the annual roundup of the bizarre items left on British trains in the last year, including a dead octopus and a live cat
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
95 years ago, British and German troops showed the world what life could be like if we'd all just put our guns down and shake hands, even if only for a day. Way to go, guys. Way to go
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this drain
source: oatey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
A tugboat put in service to help prevent another oil spill disaster runs aground on the same reef the Exxon Valdez did
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vail Daily)
 
 
 
Donkey show almost ruined, until last minute help is provided by a sheriff's deputy
source: vaildaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
12-yr old takes a ride on his trail bike. Feels the wind in his hair, fence picket through his gut
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: The secret life of Santa
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Merry Christmas, Fark
source: ibabuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Old & busted: Yule log on TV. New hotness: Yule log online
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ways to tell you might be too drunk to drive: 1) someone calls 911 on you, 2) your friend calls 911 on you, 3) your friend calls 911 on you from the passenger seat
source: reformer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Do-gooder)
 
 
 
Caption this officer and his collar
source: wcmessenger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chickasaw Nation makes generous donation to OU Cancer Institute, will be renamed Chemosabe Research Center
source: normantranscript.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Elderly couple meets in retirement home, falls in love, and marries on Christmas Eve. Cue Frank Capra
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You're drunk, you're hungry, and you think a dude stole your wallet at a diner. Do you: c) start stabbing people with your fork?
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Athens, GA singer-songwriter Vic Chesnutt in coma after apparent suicide attempt. UPDATE: several news sources now reporting condition downgraded to dead
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Los Angeles officials seize thousands of pairs of counterfeit sneakers, decide to hand them out to city's homeless on Christmas Day rather than destroying them
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KRGV)
 
 
 
Boy is finally reunited with American Dad. Family Guy still better
source: krgv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
The future of movies, art, and the world as we know it is dethroned by three singing rats
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu December 24, 2009
(Examiner)
 
Video
 
Finally: Jimmy Fallon, The Roots, and The Muppets performing "The Twelve Days of Christmas"
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Rock On, Naked Stock Photography Guy (SFW)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
The worst gadgets gallery, including a sex toy for your dog. lol wuf
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Ed Hardy shop in London has hired a Gary Colemanesque Santa to sit on YOUR lap. Bonus: bling and Ho Ho Hoes pic
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Super cabbie's altruistic trek brings hemoglobin
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Jewish Santa)
 
 
 
"I wanna be Santa. My qualifications? I'm Jewish, a teacher, Fulbright scholar, Guggenheim fellow and author of 14 books. I have a beard. For 53 years I have wanted to participate as other than an envious Christmas outsider"
source: metrosantacruz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Pope Benedict XVI gets his Mass kicked, briefly
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ice picker
source: festpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Cowboy Code: Live each day with courage. Be tough, but fair. Don't touch my pickup
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A rundown of the creepiest and most frightening mall Santas of the year. It's a slideshow, but so worth it
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Bumping bellies bad brings battery, Barrister
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's usually a good thing when you end up butt naked at the end of a date. But not this time
source: southbendtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
See a penny, pick it up. Good luck you'll have all day. Except when you do it in a Wal-Mart parking lot and a Toyota Corolla is headed right for you
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Volunteer fire company bans orthodox Jews from having full beards because they could interfere with breathing masks
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Britain's shortest thug slapped with court order to obey the law after drunkenly terrorizing neighbors, who say the 3'9" yob has a short fuse (pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 4: October through December
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Honor student's sexting message reaches about half her school's 1,300 students, promises to try harder next semester
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Legendary D.C. Sportscaster George Michael Dies at 70
source: dcist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Cops find you cooking meth in your car. Do you: c) start a high speed chase, catch your car on fire, continue chase with smoke billowing from windows, STOP THE CAR, start again, catch on fire, wreck, fall out of the car and collapse?
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Man in wheelchair surrenders after Virginia hostage sit-off
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
London restaurant makes diners sign waiver before eating their Christmas pudding, raising the question how English eateries have survived without doing this as a general practice
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Canadian ministers demand that marijuana be legally recognized as a sacrament, in latest attempt to lure atheists to church
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Homeland Security has no regrets about using intelligence they got from the secret bar codes hidden in Al Jazeera broadcasts
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"You wanna know how to get a Welshman? They throw a snowball, you pull a knife. He smacks one of yours with a slushball, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Welsh way"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News / Record Online)
 
 
 
Pope decides to hold Christmas midnight mass at 10pm, leaving him more time for blackjack and hookers
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Civic-minded citizen decides to help city authorities by using a front-end loader to plow the streets of his neighborhood after a snowfall, and is promptly arrested by police. The fact that he's 7 MAY have had something to do with it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
And the optimist of the year award goes to...Filipino mountain dweller Nelson Esquivel: "I will just run down when the volcano erupts"
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man stole so many jars of Marmite that shops began keeping it behind the counter like it was some sort of barf-inducing form of pseudoephedrin banned from 150 stores
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ex-Playboy Model of the Year guilty of banging another woman
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Vodak vs. Bourbon: Two boozes enter, one booze leaves
source: psychcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
You're an action hero starring in a multi-billion dollar thriller as the king of a dying state. You have the accent, the body, the girl. What's missing? If you guessed "black sidekick," you win
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fond du Lac Reporter)
 
 
 
Boom Humbug
source: fdlreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Crying over spilled milk. New hotness: Punching and holding the head of a woman under water in a roadside ditch over spilled ice cream
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
NORAD tracking a target inbound to CONUS. Initial reports indicate a bearded man wearing a turban. F-22s from Langley AFB scrambled to intercept
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What do you get when you add 50 feet of aluminum flashing and 6,000 hours of labor? One mind-blowing model Mustang. The P-51 kind
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Town in the red after squirrels eat Christmas lights. With pic of a satiated squirrel
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
In Britain, Santa Claus is treated just like all the other chavs
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Iran warns protestors that its days of mollycoddling, pampering, indulging, and otherwise playing nursemaid to them are over
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Nation's most highly decorated soldier, who was awarded the Medal of Honor once and was nominated twice more and earned eight purple hearts, has passed away. Unclear if he went peacefully or if Death will be walking with a limp for a while
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this warning sign
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Good news: Researchers identify factor that reduces cancer risk. Bad news: It's Alzheimer's. Good news: Researchers identify factor that reduces Alzheimer's risk. Bad news: It's cancer
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Woman who cried at sight of Krystal's restaurant named to Hall Of Fame; "You know you're a redneck when your sister's picture is on a Krystal's burger box"
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Someone leaves their bags of Christmas gifts on the subway you're riding on. Do you: A) Open the gifts and keep them B) Open the gifts and burn them C) Be a Christmas angel and track down the person who lost them
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman calls 911 because her husband won't eat dinner, likely because the husband is trying to avoid having to call 911 for eating it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this victory toss
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Mom turns shoplifting 6-year-old daughter over to the police. Oh, and about that $30 reward?
source: content.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Need to get an officer's attention? Ram his patrol car
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
When the cops are following you and the hood of your car flips up smashing your windshield, just hang your head out the driver's window and keep driving, because man, you're drunk
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 242: "Farktography Classic: Seasons Greetings 3." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed December 23, 2009
(ABC News)
 
 
 
While mozart out chopin, this cello-playing doctor is bach raising funds for research. If he haydn given up a verdi promising musical career, it would be harder to handel these diseases
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The coldest pictures you'll see all day--shots of the recent snowstorms around the world. Subby's favorite: #21, snow-covered gondolas in Venice
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
TSA agents discover the difficulty of conventional security measures on Santa's elves. "It was like a puzzle finding all the bells on each elf. My hands were covered in elf glitter after just the first pat-down"
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Amtrak tempts fate and sends out a news release touting its efficiency in moving travelers during last weekend's major snowstorm in the Northeast. As many already know, fate doesn't like to be tempted
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
"Secret Santa" pays $1000 to local utility office to stop utilities shutoff for as many residents as possible because, you know, Christmas is all about consumerism & stuff
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Man arrested after he steals blow-up doll, instigates disturbance, then changes into a woman's jogging suit while stealing a gun. This is the cost of inflation
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The police were pulling over everyone driving down that sidewalk. That's profiling, which is of course, wrong
source: summitdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Craig Lynch is looking for an unmarked car, a hack-saw, and trash bags for mafia wars. [Comment] [Like] [Help Craig Now]
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Rhode Kill
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this incipient alcoholic
source: images.buycostumes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey initiates "Silver Alert" system to help locate missing seniors. Plans for an "Orange Alert" system abandoned after MTV beat them to the punch
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart, always low prices, always illegally videotaping customers and employees in the bathroom
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSLS)
 
 
 
Wheelchair bound man with explosives holds hostages at Post Office. Is now on the "Naughty" list
source: www2.wsls.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Today's Incoherent Headline Award goes to: "Recipe for Oscar Nom Trash Middle Tea-Bagging America." Om nom nom
source: bighollywood.breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TSP)
 
 
 
Drugs make you do dumb things. Like shooting yourself in the stomach at your friend/drug dealer's house, who's under house arrest and not wearing his electronic home detention monitor because he's dealing drugs
source: thestarpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The terrorists can not stop our freedom, not as long as we can order a 6-inch Italian B.M.T
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Few things liven up a Christmas lingerie show like gunfire
source: kfsm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Scientists discover link between the mother's occupation and specific birth defects. Risks higher for custodians, lower for teachers. In the case of your mom, it explains the dimpling in the top of your head
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Local food isn't always better, the rainforest is a man-made creation, large farms are good for the enviroment, and other eco-myths debunked
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PhillyBurbs)
 
 
 
Man visits neighbor twice asking for beer and later breaks into the neighbor's house to steal more beer, proving that Farkers can be pretty persistent when the need arises
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman claims she was strip-searched due to racial profiling, customs agents claim it's because she's hot
source: montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Balloon Boy Dad gets 90 days in jail, will not be allowed to be spokesman for Jiffy Pop
source: cbs4denver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Myrrh may lower cholesterol. Jury still out on Frankenstein
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The 2009 mug shot of the year award winners from our pals at TSG. It's been an ugly year
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFC)
 
 
 
Problem: Hollywood puts out two dozen big-budget stankfests a year. Solution: The best straight-to-DVD releases of 2009. Warning: movie descriptions exceed fourth grade reading level (Sponsored link)
source: ifc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Study shows young Swedish women more likely to have sex with each other. At last, a sensible application of statistical analysis
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you only see one sickeningly sweet set of pictures of an acrobatic baby panda today, it might as well be this one
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: All I Want For Christmas
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Pro tip: Don't piss off the gas station manager working 18 hour days by trying to rob him -- especially if he has a panic button that can lock you in the store until police arrive
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Cold weather, no doubt caused by global warming, kills 90 in Europe. Severe snowstorms cause havoc in U.S Midwest. Canadians buy extra socks
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Sea otters loose on a plane causes flight delay
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
You're worried that your 14 year old son might be gay. Do you C) Buy him a hooker?
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dutch court considers removing young girl sailor from her father's custody, concerned about her rudderless upbringing
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Using a police car for your getaway vehicle, +200 bonus points
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
British government outlaws spice, despite the objections of the spacing guild
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Cops pick up 2 guys riding naked on their bikes. Nervous about their stiff penalties, cops let them get off with a helmet warning
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
This guy saw a turtle. And killed it. Then killed 11 more of them
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
To the shock and dismay of local officals, the straw goat set up by the city of Gavle Sweeden, has been burned to the ground -- just like the 24 previous straw goats. Still no word on when the "asbestos goat" tradition may start
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Failure)
 
 
 
If you're going to firebomb your ex-girlfriend's house, make sure you know where she lives
source: failuremag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
One beer, thanks - and hold the lap dance
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Boy grounded by parents, gets revenge on sister via Facebook
source: degenerasian.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Chavez to Colombia: You sent spy planes over Venezuala. Colombia to Chavez: Spy planes? What spy planes? It was Santa
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Annoying British Singer)
 
 
 
Man murders neighbor for constantly playing same song at top volume for more than a week
source: weinterrupt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"How many bottles of Mad Dog can we get for this bearded dragon? He's got all four legs and his tail"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
NY court tells Trekkie there's no way in the universe he deserves millions in damages for spending over $11,000 on Data's uniform, which turns out to be fake. Comic Book Guy surrenders
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Unless Fox gets more money from the cable company, cable customers won't be able to watch American Idol on cable TV. Subby fails to understand what the problem is
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman suprises her fiancee at the airport by showing up in a wedding gown with a justice of the peace and wedding party in tow. Apparently she wanted to lock him in before the jetlag had a chance to clear
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Angelina Jolie says she doesn't mind cheating on Brad, so there you go Farkers, you're in
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRN)
 
 
 
Santa Claus robs bank, says he needed the money "to pay his elves"
source: wkrn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Lights, camera...?
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Man pays for half page newspaper ad to write his ex-girlfriend a love letter. Dude, she's just not into you
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
On the ninth day of Christmas, a stranger gave to me, a hatchet through the window of my car
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Columnist afraid of his wife writes that most American men wouldn't have as many affairs as Tiger Woods even if they could because "we're too lazy"
source: blog.nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
There will be no New Years Eve fireworks over San Diego bay this year, thanks to environmentalists complaining about pollution
source: cbs8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Family that lives 18 miles from ocean finds baby seal in their yard, decides to consider it a Christmas present and name it Rudolph. "It looked like a huge slimy cat" (pics)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
American Airlines flight 331 from DC arrives in Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston, Jamaica, at gate 8, gate 9, gate 10
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some barbary ape)
 
 
 
The Miss Gibraltar finalists: Meet Mmm-mmmm, Mmmm, Mm, Hmm, Meh and OMFG NUKE IT FROM SPACE
source: chronicle.gi   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
It's December 23rd, and you know what that means; it's time to put up the pole, prepare for the feats of strength. Happy Festivus, everyone; air your grievances to the right
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue December 22, 2009
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
News: Man stabbed in chest by knife, Fark: Man goes into a diner and orders coffee with the knife in his chest
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop ingredient: feathers
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Woman attacks Santa after photo shoot and goes right onto the naughty list
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
A face-painted teen was arrested when he threatened to slap a female employee at a McDonald's. That's why I never eat there. There's too many clowns and too much assault in the food
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Barry from DC" calls local politics radio show to say goodbye to outgoing Virginia governor
source: voices.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Girls who have sex in their teens are at greater risk of developing cervical cancer, being popular
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How to handle a bad gift from a boyfriend, written by an ungrateful biatch
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Snoopy named top dog in US pop culture, narrowly eking out a win over Kathy Griffin, Progressive Flo, and Hayden Panettiere
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Police: Foreigner behind Auschwitz sign theft, must have been cold as ice to commit such a crime, play head games with authorities
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Recording studio robbers luck into the world's only non-packing rap crew
source: myfoxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
"Miley" and "Rihanna" are quickly becoming popular baby names, ensuring that a whole new generation will be beaten, exploited, and whored out for years to come
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Style List)
 
 
 
Salon accidentally glues woman's eyes shut
source: stylelist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Besides delaying your flights, the FAA is throwing $5 million Christmas parties
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Of 20 kids born in a town in the past year, 5 had birth defects and 3 died. Local toxic waste dump owners say their dump is safe and something else must be to blame
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
50 greatest things about the aughts: Book clubs and cable. You sure we're talking about the aughts?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
No Word from Microsoft on court ruling
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Joe Francis is Gawker's "Douche of the Decade," just beating runners-up Tucker Max and the entire executive management team at Comcast
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pajamas Media)
 
 
 
Libertarians need to rethink support for drug legalization because some guy choked on a plastic bag or something about strippers
source: pajamasmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Houston Press)
 
 
 
The dangers of Viagra: Septugenarian love triangle at nursing home leads to murder-suicide
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: July through September
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this light
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dognapping on the rise. Cat burglar unimpressed
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Kentucky city opens to public a government employee salary database. You'd be surprised how much a Chicken Inseminator II makes
source: govtech.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Canada considers putting anti-cancer enzyme in french fries and potato chips, kind of like how they used to put chemotherapy in your old CRT TV
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
San Antonio River Walk to be more wheelchair friendly, hey that's great bec.... spalsh
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Police disarm suspected suicide bomber with two eggs over easy and a side of hash browns
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Balloon Boy parents hit with a tab of $42,000 for their October stunt. Will probably have to sell their share of the Brooklyn Bridge to pay for it
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Sex shop falls victim to hard times after flaccid interest and limp customer demand puts them out of business
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
69-year-old suburban Chicago man is new grand master of the Knights Templar; crusades for 2010 to include finishing the Times crossword puzzle and pissing less than 8 times a day
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
BB gun in a school, after hours, with approval of the principal? That's a whining. Bonus comment: "Any parent who complained to the school about this should be fired."
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Family Guy)
 
 
 
Family Guy crosses over to the something something something dark side. This will make your something something collection complete. (Sponsored link)
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Author's book receives unfavorable Amazon reviews. Does she: a) laugh graciously, b) shrug it off, c) call the FBI
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Poll conducted on what Americans want for Christmas is pretty ordinary: pair of boots, warm coat, submachine gun, supersonic jet. You know, the usual
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dog ownership has the same ecological footprint as driving an SUV. PETA responds by keying dogs
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Nobody can figure out why crime rates are falling despite the expectation that the recession would turn everybody into desperate thieves
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Hark, the lawman's taser stings
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Boston mother, who is apparently unaware of how to use a power plug, circuit breaker, or hammer, is forced to call 9-1-1 to get her son to stop playing video games
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
This Christmas, you should watch out for the blood-sucking creatures which mysteriously show up in your house. Also, there might be ticks on your tree
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
FBI investigates alleged hacking and online theft at Citigroup. Spokesman for Citigroup flatly denies that any of the $24.37, two rubber bands and a bent paper clip has been stolen from Citi's coffers
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Drivers who text are six times more likely to crash. Hah. Smug drivemitter submitted this headline while dr
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Irish Times)
 
 
 
Man eating tiger captured
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sweet, succulent corn mixed with crisp, plump green beens, butter-soft baby lima beans and just the hint of crunchy, mounth watering rat-jaw : There's a reason we call our vegetables "Great Value"
source: slashfood.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stealthy reptile
source: farm5.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ntnews.com.au)
 
 
 
Croc gets shock when trapped in lock near dock
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FDNM)
 
 
 
You've read about DUIs on a lawnmower, a snowplow, even a motorized bar stool -- but you probably haven't read about one on a forklift
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
He takes your urinal, you bite off his nose. That's the Tennessee way. (warning: w/ pic of what a masticated nostril may look like)
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Anchorage Daily News)
 
 
 
Air traffic control goes dark at the Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport as the entire series of power tubes suffer simultaneous clogs
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Scientists discover long legs on women aren't as sexy as ZZ Top makes them sound
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Stripping provides an opportunity for me to spread some holiday cheer the way I know best: with my big knockers"
source: thefrisky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Usually when buildings shake in San Diego it's because of earthquakes or military testing, but this time nobody knows what caused it (at least that's what the streetlights want you to think)
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this monstrous disaster
source: farm5.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon December 21, 2009
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Time for Wapner [ack] [thud]
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"World air passenger traffic plunges." In related news, ship traffic sinks, road traffic crashes, train traffic gets derailed, bike traffic goes flat and foot traffic gets cut off at the knees
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny State bans town from bringing reindeer to a mall because it might snow and people looking at the reindeer could slip and fall. "With or without the reindeer the streets were still icy"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(El Paso Times)
 
 
 
Mexican army finds 3 tons of marijuana in truck. After confiscating the 2 tons of marijuana, local police need several vans to haul all 800 pounds of it; say the 50 pounds placed in evidence is worth almost 50,000 pizzas. I mean, dollars
source: elpasotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox has sued for the right to close off waterways leading to the Great Lakes to stop Asian Carp (with bonus pic of shocked and appalled fish)
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Occupy.com)
 
 
 
What happens when a foreclosure company makes a mistake? For this woman, her locks were changed, her condo was emptied, and her stuff is now in a landfill
source: lasvegasnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Witness: This woman collapsed, can you EMTs help? EMTs: Yeah... we would, but... we're kinda on our break. You should probably call 9-1-1. Witness: But you're... wait, where are you going?
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Magazine)
 
 
 
The cutest penguin pic you'll see today. Or ever. Aaawwww
source: ok.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 2: April through June
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Sacramento City Council learns that saying, "Yeah, sure, go ahead" to developers who want to build isn't exactly legal
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
New study reveals that the deaf may one day be able to hear through their teeth. If only Anne Frank had lived long enough for this breakthrough
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Mexico City becomes first Latin American city to approve gay marriage. ¡Fabuloso︕
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pilgrimaging performers
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Large crowd lines up for Oral
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you're running out of space to keep dozens of cats in your tiny apartment, don't overlook the storage capacity of your freezer
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Magazine)
 
 
 
This woman has worn the same outfit more than once, reflecting a disturbing new trend
source: ok.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
When you're stabbed in the head with a screwdriver and sustain "non-life threatening injuries", it's your lucky day, pal
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline - Defiant pig farmer tells state to "bring their army"
source: clarecountyreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Philosophy professor concerned that the Simpsons may have affected the public's perception of nuclear power
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Winter is hazardous to your health
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
British Crimestoppers hotline staff "gobsmacked" by flood of bizarre calls linked to recent cold weather, from people complaining about drunken mall Santas to an obscene snowman "which featured an extra carrot"
source: 24dash.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Headline: "1 Dead, 5 Hurt in Christmas Boat Parade Crash". Story: "Neither boat was participating in the parade"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ahmadinejad says that Iran's nuclear bomb plans are fake. Adds that if someone has genuine ones, they'd gladly make a deal
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"It's not like we're trying to return an itchy sweater,'' says mom about adopted son
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Indiana Jones Rule: Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. Indiana Jones Corollary: Don't bring a gun to a carfight
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
If your kids ever ask, you will now be able to tell them exactly how NORAD tracks Santa
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sports by Brooks)
 
NewsFlash
 
Report: Motorcade (2 cop cars, 8 police motorcycles) arrive at Tiger Woods estate "to escort Elin out"
source: sportsbybrooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You still have a better chance of playing pick-up sticks with your butt cheeks than making your flight back east in time for Christmas, but at least now you won't have to spend 12 hours sitting in a stranded airplane doing it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Thief steals daycare's toys, Christmas tree and turkey. Suspect is 6' 2", with short green hair, possibly accompanied by a small dog with antlers
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest, Round 1: January through March
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Of the many ways to learn another language, rape never made my list
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Drunk)
 
 
 
Major blaze engulfs Guinness factory in Dublin. I'm sure there's a joke to be made here somewhere, but I'll just sit in the corner and cry
source: irishcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News-Leader.com)
 
 
 
Fine for parking in handicapped space: $200. Parking in this woman's space? Well, that's an icepick to the chest, man
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Autism rates jump 60 percent in 4 years. Help us, Jenny McCarthy, you're our only hope
source: allheadlinenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark unveils the top 11 weirdest stories of 2009
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Because when I see low-grade, flash-frozen, grease-laden burger patties with limp lettuce and day-old bread, I think sex
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this water walker
source: faculty.uml.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If someone rings the mobile phone you've just stolen and asks you for your name and address, they're just trying to trick you into revealing your name and address
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Georgia flea market destroyed by fire. No deaths, but tens of dollars damage reported
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What would Jesus shoplift?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Something old, something new. Something borrowed, and something which produces pain, tears and temporary blindness
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Good news, everyone. We're getting Socialism for Christmas
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Macy's escalator catches on fire, survivors stranded for hours
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
When snowmobiles and buggies clash, no one wins. With clipartist's abstract collage of what an accident may look like
source: fox43.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop these popped open pods
source: faculty.uml.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Auschwitz sign found, much to the relief of park officials, who may now open all rides and concessions just in time for the holiday tourist rush
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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