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Sun October 18, 2009
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man arrested for shining a flashlight up at a military helicopter ten feet above his home doing a training exercise in the middle of the night
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
One flight attendant's really cool idea to help pass the time during the flight
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these PLA soldiers doing drills
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Late night at the karaoke bar is all fun and games until someone gets all scalpy
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Wheelchair-bound man climbs mountain with the help of charity climbers, only to discover that their charity ran out halfway up the mountain
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gun)
 
 
 
It's like Rule 34 for gun porn, including a 9mm crucifix
source: littlegun.be   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cu later scammers: study finds copper bracelets not useful for pain relief
source: blogs.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Swedish town burns rabbit carcasses for heat. Surprisingly, PETA has a problem with this. Mayor's three-part response: 1. STFU. 2. Why don't you care about people being cremated? 3. So STFU
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Florida manatee trapped in New Jersey. Subby, who got stuck in Trenton once, feels his pain
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cold crystal
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Indiana University among the top 'tweeting' schools in the nation. Ever since they dumped Bobby Knight things have gone downhill
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
LHC gears up to test the theory that it greenlights stories about itself from the past
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's true. Canada is just a cuter version of America
source: blogto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Navy to curtail "at-sea training" due to budget shortfalls. As an active duty sailor, subby can attest how pointless all the war games scenarios he has to go out and do are and rejoices
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Panasonic decides that the dishwasher needs to be slower, less efficient, more creepy
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Not news: guy builds treehouse. News: He has no children, and the multistory tree house is 50 feet high. FARK: Neighhbors threaten to burn it down
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Moscow mayor promises there will be no snow this winter, no Santa Claus, and a unicorn in every garage
source: fe1.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Scientist: In 20 years, global warming will cause the Arctic Ocean to be ice free in the summer. Arizona realtors readying beachfront property ads
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Not news: Shark bites man. Fark: In Edinburgh, Scotland
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
CVS is offering customers a twenty-five cent discount for every reusable bag they bring in. I'm sure this initiative won't backfire
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ric Romero, consumer news reporter and part-time dictionary: "A growing number of savvy consumers are turning to bartering by trading skills, services or goods with one another, without exchanging any money"
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Money's tight, times are hard. Here's a goat, clearing your yard
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Dolphins play soccer. Bonus: With jellyfish
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
A collection of hilariously awkward family photos. Bonus: All before 1930
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Nanny state broadcaster changes kid's nursery rhyme: 'Children will find it far too violent, distressing and horrific that Humpty should not be put back together again'
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man's vanity license plate "xxxxxxx" confuses Birmingham, Ala. computers, allowing him to amass $19k in unpaid parking tickets. City spokesman says the city may change the system
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
When people questioned NDSU President's lavish new house ($2M), his wife's salary of $50k/yr. for being an "ambassador" to the U, and his salary of $438k, he resigns saying the job "Isn't as fun as it once was"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Why the hell did nobody think of this mobile entertainment service before?
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
As more cyclists hit the road, more cyclists hit the road
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Colorado town claims cow manure can be converted into clean energy. Critics say that's just bullshiat
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tiny spiny sowthistle
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
FDA may limit sale of oysters because fisheries have failed to address safety issues. Government accuses industry of having shellfish motives
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Hurricane Rick's never gonna give Mexico's Pacific coast up
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Police injured at power station protest. How could anyone be so coal-hearted?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Several injured in steamboat accident. This is not a repeat from 1829
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Bear enters store, goes straight to beer cooler and grabs case of Hamm's
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
New pub crawl world record set: 101 bars in 15 hours. Farkers check receipts from last Friday night, plan appeal
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Sheriff: Charges will be filed in Balloon Boy saga. Finally, the last we'll hear about it
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Sat October 17, 2009
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this touch down
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
The latest thing to go "all natural" is bottled water. Just like Grandma used to pour
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(bacon lover)
 
 
 
Bacon soap?? Now it has gone too far
source: perpetualkid.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"I kind of always wondered what it felt like to be bit [by a bear]...it didn't feel as bad as I thought it was going to feel."
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg free Press)
 
 
 
This dog deserves steak
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Best. Bender costume. Ever
source: kimncris.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Citing energizing precedent of Barack Obama, Vatican watchers suspect Catholic Church will select black Pope to replace 82-year-old Benedict. Obama expected to decline offer
source: blogs.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Authorities in Hudson, WI advise residents to be on the lookout for a woman driving a fake bus. Believed to be in the vicinity Monday through Friday at 7:15, 8:45, and on the hour from 10am until 5pm
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Sapling created from tree outside Anne Frank's window to be brought to Seattle. What's the big deal? It isn't like she ever saw it
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Gawker bought and presents the 'proof' that the Balloon Boy fiasco was a hoax, dad is a dumbass
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Wine "expert" gives advice on pairings for Cap'n Crunch, Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Gangs shoot down police helicopter in Rio de Janeiro. Unclear if this will be included as skeet shooting event in 2016 Olympics
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this taxiway
source: cdn-www.airliners.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Disney upset about Australian beer ad with 'Ho White' and the 7 dwarves. Throw another shrimp on the boobie
source: myfoxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In a contest that can't end well, Fox asks fans to design new Simpsons character
source: thrfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
20 years ago today: "Hello everyone and welcome to game 3 of the World Series betw..."
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Clouds)
 
 
 
Eight breathtaking cloud formations from around the world. Conspicuously absent: Cumulonimbus
source: womansday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Winning team in Somali geography bee gets a rifle, two grenades, a landmine and office supplies woth $1000. Who wants to enter a Fark team for next year?
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The president of the Maldives and his cabinet sign a bill 16 feet underwater to "send a message." Media says "Meh -- try a shiny balloon next time"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Philatelists)
 
 
 
Starting in January, mail sent from the UK is finally going to be worth getting; the postal service is issuing stamps based on classic albums from Bowie, Pink Floyd, and New Order
source: norphil.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Springfield Republican)
 
 
 
Be careful driving an out of state car in Wisconsin. The cops there are strict
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some too-old Guy)
 
 
 
Reminder: This Saturday. Cleveland Fark party. At 8pm at the place in the link
source: thescreamingrooster.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Huffington Post taunts the Gods of Farkistan by declaring Rainbow Brite's makeover: skinnier and sexier
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Get a bad lawyer, lose a $47,000 judgement you should not have lost, and wind up owing $500,000 for no apparent reason
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Bus driver suspended for wearing pink tie to support breast cancer awareness
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Thousands Standing Around)
 
 
 
Remember the woman who had her son "stolen" by the TSA? Yeah, she made it all up
source: tsa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Public asssessment of accuracy, bias and (lack of) independence of media news now at lowest levels in more than two decades. Hey look, a shiny balloon
source: fe13.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
"V" for "Very stupid"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
New Hampshire police told to stop running criminal background checks before returning confiscated firearms to owners. It's not their job
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
How to tell an adulterer: "He can't go anywhere without his phone, he's constantly doing housework, he's all over you, he's keeping you at arm's length." So that really helps us narrow it down, thanks
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Appleton Post Crescent)
 
 
 
One MORE time...Moms, don't leave your nine year old in the car while you stop at the tavern for a drink or three. Oh, heck, I give up with this, they're not getting it
source: postcrescent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Flight diverted after beer stolen. I've got to say, I'm with the airline on this one
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Tony Blair's former communications director calls the Daily Mail "the media equivalent of dogsh*t." Fox News outraged, saying that's THEIR slogan, dammit
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Create a convincing freak of nature
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
While many California judges have ruled revenue-raising ticket cameras illegal, you're not allowed to say so in court
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tommy Seven Toes)
 
 
 
24 toed cat "Mr. Toes" would like to give you a "high seven" just in time for Caturday
source: www2.nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
In these troubled economic times, it's comforting to know that college students still insist on HBO viewed on 42" flat-screen televisions, gaming systems and a ... $45 per hour personal concierge?
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to one day in jail for asking woman if her daughter was a stripper
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsminer)
 
 
 
In the same time it took Balloon Boy to get famous this guy survived a plane crash, walked nearly 20 miles over two days with injuries before finding help, not getting eaten by wolves
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man really threw himself into the spirit of Halloween this year. Neighbors claim his balcony display is very realistic
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hardline Islamists in Somalia are now publically whipping women for wearing bras. "If they are found wearing a bra, they are ordered to remove it and shake their breasts"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Texas man, 83, allegedly opens fire on his son for refusing to stop drumming. Understandably, the police have been reluctant to show this guy any tympani
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Target web site sells a Halloween costume featuring an alien mask, a green card and an orange jumpsuit with "illegal alien" written across the front. Why, yes, some people do have a problem with this
source: myfoxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
How meerkats conquered the world. "In gloomy times, meerkats have a unique power to make us happy."
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Tonight, the earth was almost smacked by an asteroid big enough to destroy a large city. (It was closer to us than the moon)
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Harvard loses nearly $2 billion because it placed its daily operations money into aggressive investment funds. Whoopsies
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop this peculiar playground piece
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Judge refuses to hear deaf school lawsuit
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
It's rush hour on busy highway. There are 8 chihuahuas and daddy dog has deformed leg. If you guessed the daddy dog with the deformed leg led his pups across the busy highway to Animal Care Services you would be right
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Man crushed by garbage truck while he was sleeping in a dumpster is described by friends as an "intelligent person who loved to take adventurous solo trips to different places"
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Fri October 16, 2009
(Some MD Dude)
 
 
 
Two nurses report doctor to Texas medical board for shady practices. Do they discipline the doc? No, he filed a criminal complaint, and both nurses are now facing jail time
source: kevinmd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Proof that balloon boy was a hoax is for sale for $5-8,000
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Ledger)
 
 
 
Woman gets 40 years for strangling her mother, looking like Billy Ray Cyrus
source: theledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Today's TSG mug shot round up is dedicated to the Children
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
North Dakota man says someone stole his cat and poured bleach in his aquarium. Also that there's a leg sticking out of his wood chipper
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
"Manthropology"-If you're reading this then you -- or the male you have bought it for -- are the worst man in history
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Legally, the question of whether the spiciness of the kebab sauce constituted 'normal' or grievous bodily harm must be addressed"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Only in the desert: fried scorpions at the state fair. Yum
source: myfoxphoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
NJ Assembly candidate makes a living by organizing sex toy parties for women and couples, likens it to a Tupperware party and a great way to meet voters
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dog toy
source: i.walmartimages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Chef: If one more person orders mozzarella caprese, "I swear to God I'll shoot you in the forehead,". Jailarity ensues
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Swine flu finally detected in US swine. Start hoarding your bacon
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
5 authors more badass than the badass character they created. Yes, Ian Fleming could kill you more quickly than James Bond could
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Neighborhood in uproar after guy names hot dog stand "Felony Franks" and employs ex-cons. Includes worst pun filled headline of the day
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Miffed Mom)
 
 
 
Woman tries to go through metal detector at Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson aiport with her infant son, only to have his pacifier set off the alarm. TSA did the only rational thing and took the woman's son from her. Yes, it gets better
source: mybottlesup.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Times)
 
 
 
"We'd like to pitch (Abashiri) as a town of emus in addition to Abashiri Prison," a municipal official said
source: search.japantimes.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Move from kindergarten to first grade results in crying, depression, suicidal thoughts and eventually a lawsuit. Fark: From the teacher
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
Apparently it's against the law to force the mentally ill to work naked and perform sex acts while billing the government and their families for the therapy
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
If you're the only person in your car when a cop pulls you over, quickly scrambling to the back seat is not going to get you out of a ticket
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Cop)
 
 
 
Expired inspection? Check -Expired registration? Check - On your Police fleet? Fark
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IFC)
 
 
 
"Monty Python's "Almost the Truth" set to air, which is the entire behind the scenes story of the comedy troupe -- or at least as much as their lawyers will allow them to admit (Sponsored Link)
source: ifc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
Shots fired into Burger King drive-through window. Police on lookout for redheaded man dressed in yellow, possibly accompanied by large purple bell-shaped creature
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Superhero)
 
 
 
Superhero Smackdown quarter-finals Spiderman vs Flash
source: thecorrectness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired UK)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Super slo-mo Jesus lizard walking on water
source: wired.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Brothel offers discounts for 'green' customers who pedal to the door. "Schwinn"
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman left with ten-minute memory wins £4.46m claim, offered to greenlight articles on Fark
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Australian baby survives falling under train, dingoes
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Nebraska meatpacker recalls 33,000 pounds of beef tongue. Fondly
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
A TSG staple for today's Friday Photo Fun. Identify the band by their concert rider. Contest ends at 4 pm Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Durham Times)
 
 
 
Woman left with ten-minute memory wins £4.46m claim, offered to greenlight articles on Fark
source: durhamtimes.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hit a dog with your car and it's not quite dead. Do you C) Euthanize it with a hammer and machete and then get attacked by the dog's owner with the same hammer and machete? Fark: Driver in hospital, owner in jail, dog still alive
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Paranoid Guy)
 
 
 
Stanley Kubrick's "The Shining" was his way of telling us he faked the moon landing. Obviously. Enjoy your brain hemorrhage reading this
source: jayweidner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop Ingredient: Clothes Pins
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Is this Australia's fittest woman? You be the judge (w/pic)
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Five books every cook should have. Does not include "101 Microwave Pies" or "Watery Crock Pot Recipes for the Unimaginative"
source: food.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Woman had 15 abortions over 17 years, describes herself as an 'abortion addict'. Many different theories suggested, but at this point one can only speculum
source: myfoxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Times of India)
 
 
 
"Girl chops off tongue to get the right groom." Well, he's not gonna want you now, honey
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Autistic kid rocks
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
City council meetings may seem dull most of the time, but you never know when an old man fight will break out (w/ video)
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
"Here's an idea. It's a crazy idea, I know, but hear me out: when you're covering a news story and there are, for the moment, no new pieces of information to discuss, stop covering the story for a little while."
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tropical storm Rick could be rollin' as a hurricane by Friday
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these pumpkins on pallets
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
News: Couple catches thief in the act of trying to steal car. Fark: It turns out to be a bear. Bonus: "This car is mine" photos
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Thu October 15, 2009
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Principal refuses to allow lesbian student's senior picture to be put in the school yearbook because she is wearing a tuxedo
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
"Balloon Boy" Falcon Heene accidentally admits "We did it for the show" on Larry King. Bonus: Fart
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you recently stole a show goat named Bluebell and dressed her up in a tutu, the police would like a word with you and submitter would like to sponsor you on TotalFark
source: wnyt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Texas man faces execution after jurors consult Bible to decide fate. Smite not be over yet
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
After finding a missile launcher on his property, man can't get the FBI, Homeland Security, or the Sheriff to do anything about it. "There's some crazy whitetail hunters around here. Maybe they're going overboard?"
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Constitution bars Obama from accepting the Nobel Peace Prize, unless he gets approval from Congress
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bevy of balloons
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Rum Thief)
 
 
 
300 pound thief not a woman, not long and not cool but he was in a black dress
source: argusleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SF Weekly)
 
 
 
So, they caffeinated sunflower seeds
source: blogs.sfweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Because of the recession, more people are panning for gold in California. No this is not 1849
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Man caught shoplifting fishnet stockings and women's underwear says he needed them for his Halloween costume. Yeah, right. Bonus: his name is Spiral Lightninghawk
source: blogs.twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
You ever have one of those days when you and your dad get wasted, decide to burglarize a house, he leaves you passed out under a bed and you end up getting identified by the neighbor - who just happens to be your grandfather?
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
On average, men cry six times a year and usually at weddings. Especially when they find out the bar's dry or that hot bridesmaid is engaged
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Interracial couple denied marriage license in Lousiana. This is not a repeat from 1959, cher
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
I don't want to Quarle with you, but he's only MOSTLY dead
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Does Barbie have cankles? CBS actually investigates this pressing mystery and takes to the streets to find the truth
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Balloon down, no sign of boy as search parties begin fanning out. UPDATE: FOUND, safe, was hiding in a box in the garage attic
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
When your 79-year-old mother falls down and you can't lift her back up... just go back to bed man, she's gone
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
There just might be a problem when the tapwater coming out of your faucet catches fire
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
If you think your credit card company sucks, First Premier Bank is offering cards with a 79.9% interest rate. Because the .9% makes all the difference
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
State of Kansas: 0. Extremely large rodent: 1
source: ksby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
So this guy walks up to a cop with ziploc bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Theme park receives exorcism after Ouija board session stirs up spirits: "It was a pretty strange sight to see a priest walking around Saw - The Ride holding a bible in one hand and a crucifix in the other"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
A 6-year old boy is floating above Colorado in an 'experimental aircraft' - news still coming in
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
More kids using sign language in the classroom. And not just the obvious ones
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Pfizer cutbacks to release a flood of disgruntled biologists and chemists into the streets of Gotham, assuring a new wave of cool super villians
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comedy Central)
 
 
 
"That biatch be your main biatch, you know what I'm sayin?" "Yes, I know what you are saying...you don't have to keep asking"
source: southparkstudios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
With Halloween coming up, here's how to make a mummified fairy. And, no, you don't just cover Richard Simmons with natron for a few weeks (pic)
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Female pilots lost in space race, probably because they got stuck in the merge lane
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today explores those special people whose lives have been transformed by social games such as Farmville, Mafia Wars, and Sorority Life
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
What animal were George Washington's teeth made from? A) Baby seal. B) Bald eagle. C) Hippo? (w/ pics)
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Werewolf nuns scaring tourists away from Australia
source: sanitypreferred.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The two whitest people in American donate $10 million to construct the National Museum of African American History and Culture
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Tahoe priest claims he was fired for filing a protective order against a deacon, who sent him death threats. With picture of said priest baptising a puppy
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox)
 
 
 
In Australia, January is a summer month, toilets flush counter-clockwise and midgets ride people
source: myfoxatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this monarch's millinery
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Police think it unlikely that the thieves who bundled the half-goat half-sheep creatures into a small hatchback were professional rustlers
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albany Times Union)
 
 
 
1. Ban burn barrels. 2. Jack up landfill fees. 3. Profit. I♥NY
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Maybe those OCD hand washers aren't so crazy after all
source: blog.taragana.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Mind you, møøse kicks kan be pretty nasti
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
67 year old city councilman and Baptist Minister waited (at least) 20 years for God to bring him his intended wife. Then it gets weirder
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When trying to avoid a DUI, make sure your vehicle isn't on fire
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Judge stumps gay marriage ban lawyer by asking how gay marriage prevents procreation for heterosexuals. Darn those activist judges and their logical questions
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Another example of Puritan America: Violence ruined by nudity yet again
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gecko foot
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania dad pleads guilty to hosting teen drinking party with stripper pole. Farkers everywhere raise their PBR in a cheer
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
The Boston Globe, which is actually more left-wing than Boston is generally (yes, that is possible) is no longer on the market
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What was the worst job of the 19th century? If your goal was to revive the dead, employment as a tongue-puller, nipple-pincher or anal tobacco blower had to be near the top of the list
source: longstreet.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Delta decides the best way to fight against woman who started an action group entitled Flyers' Rights is to hack into her email account in order to discover what she was telling media and the FAA
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Study finds that men purchase fast cars due to testosterone, small penises
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Defendants attorney, "You know when my clients chimpanzee ripped your face off? It was on the job and is therefore a workmans comp claim. Your argument is invalid". This should end well
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Chaos)
 
 
 
Have you ever had a dream about this guy? Oddly enough, you're not alone
source: iheartchaos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 232: "Software Hootennany" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
People of the world: What the fark, why isn't the LHC working? We spent a lot of money on that Scientists: ...uh... the LHC is sabotaging itself... from the future. Yeah, that's right... it is sabotaging itself from the future
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Wed October 14, 2009
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
If you use an online dating service, you may have a chance at getting a date with Jessica Simpson
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Aussie)
 
 
 
Australian horse racing officials criticized for dwarf-racing competition. Looks like they came up a bit short, and wouldn't pony up to the naysayers
source: myfoxnepa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
On the other hand, for $87.50 and a parakeet they probably could have had a teenager,
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Monster Under The Bed)
 
 
 
Awesome ad free slideshow of horror photography by Joshua Hoffine. Warning: not suitable for everyone. Bonus: slideshow all on one page
source: joshuahoffine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pajamas Media)
 
NewsFlash
 
Ayatollah Khamenei reportedly in a coma
source: pajamasmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop ingredient: anvils (LGT an anvil)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
A Baptist church will hold a book burning which will include The Bible (non-KJV), works by the Pope, Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and contemporary Christian music. Bar-b-que chicken, fried chicken and all the sides will be served
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
7 sex tips critiqued by a virgin
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Filippa Hamilton, the model from the Ralph Lauren photo controversy has been fired for being too fat, at 120 lbs
source: usmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Is there anything hotter than a pregnant stripper beating a co-worker in the head with a stiletto heel?
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Not content with trying to ban house parties and alcohol on the beach, San Diego man is now crusading to stop medical pot dispensaries. I bet he's a riot to hang out with
source: www3.signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nothings land a plane faster than a Bible-quoting freak who won't let other passengers use the bathroom. "The suspect kept telling her that his blood would be on her"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You know who else liked garden gnomes? (pic)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
First they came for the 23 year old alcoholic nymphomaniacs, and I said nothing, because I was too busy dodging the pocketknives she was throwing at my head
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Don't stint on the nightingales tongues and stuffed larks, and make sure the fat guy has enough honey cakes: How to cater a Roman orgy
source: food.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Despite hipsters' claims that they drink PBR because it is "the best beer for the price," PBR has actually been running a word-of-mouth campaign targeting hipsters, and now costs $1.50 more than other crappy beers
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Newest threat to aviation security: Coal barges in Cincinnati
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
46-year-old English man acquires Tourette's Syndrome, baffling doctors who simply assumed he was Scottish
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to probation after stabbing girlfriend's pet fish. And if you can visualize the sort of idiot who might do such a thing, there's a mugshot that looks EXACTLY like that staring back at you from the article
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foxcarolina.com)
 
 
 
Transylvania County NC expecting 2, 3, 4 inches of flooding rains today. Ah Ah Ah
source: foxcarolina.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The name's Mussolini. Benito Mussolini
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The Washington Post asks readers for the most helpful morsel of food advice they ever received
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"No officer, I haven't been raping anyone in here". "Well you look like an honest chap, so I'll just take your word for it"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
In an effort to improve the popularity of the census in rural Kentucky, the US Senate wants to add a bonus question
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Sports)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soccer player
source: msn.foxsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The origin of the three names we have for one season. Autumn, Fall, and Harvest. Plus a nice picture of a cactus
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
DVRs, which TV networks used to say were killing them, now represent a crap-lined industry's last great hope
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fosters.com)
 
 
 
Some inmates are asking to stay in jail until the economy gets better. Three squares a day, a roof over your head, and cable TV? Sign me up
source: fosters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Too drunk to remember where you left your pants? Yeah, you're going to jail
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
"Next on WLS, a look at sports, your weekend forecast, and OH MY GOD,THE BABY'S COMING"
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
City of Louisville launches ad campaign spoofing the Viagra commericals, hoping to engorge city coffers with tourist dollars
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Another day, another stoner calling the cops because someone stole their weed
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Woman pays deerly for petting wildlife
source: cbs4denver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Kellogg's to begin laser etching individual cornflakes, just in case somebody steals one of them
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Apparently viewing soft-core porn while on-duty in your police squad car is perfectly ok
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huddersfield Examiner (UK news))
 
 
 
Man fined £150 for keeping cows in dark
source: examiner.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Zach Braff is not dead, but he is shooting new episodes of Scrubs, so, it is a little bit like dying
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Woman reprimanded by employer for calling 911 without permission after accidentally drinking oven cleaner
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Toddler escapes from Toddler Escape
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you want controversy, set up an art exhibit featuring a black Jesus and a chimp nailed to a cross. "Great art grabs you and they make you think deeper."
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Most of us have been annoyed about being carded to get into an R-rated movie, but this was a slight overreaction
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Police say teen turned burrito into deadly weapon. Submitter says his college roommate had that trick down years ago
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Lettuce never forget the medium-rare case of the man charged with criminal damage to a hamburger. He never relished the fact that he was grilled for hours, and in the end found himself in quite the pickle
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this jammin' Jackson
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Airliners.net)
 
 
 
"We will be arriving shortly at Naha Airport. To your right is the beautiful Okinawan coast. On the left, you can see what's left of our competitor's aircraft."
source: airliners.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comedy Central)
 
 
 
Unless she's counting the Men In Black, the Secretary of DHS does not know how many departments she's in charge of
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pressconnects.com)
 
 
 
Police execute search warrant and find a whole ounce of weed. When will the stupidity end?
source: pressconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hey Drew, wanna help Drew get Drew to donate $1million to charity?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Maria Shriver one of the first people cold busted by her husband's cell phone law
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Tue October 13, 2009
(Fox News)
 
 
 
I'll see your Cub Scout suspended for bringing an eating utensil to school and raise you an Eagle Scout barred from campus for having a 2" pocketknife locked in his car
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Obama picked 15th hottest head of state. It's not news, it's CBS News
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IdahoNews)
 
 
 
Idaho teacher arrested for masturbating in a Costco. No word yet if he was shopping for tents
source: 2news.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
Lift a pint in memory of Greg Noonan, the godfather of the microbrew movement
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this red-legged reader
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
$1.5M Russian SUV Features Diamond & White Gold Gauges, Bullet Proof Windows, Whale Penis Leather Interior....Wait, What?
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In an effort to compete with nearby Baltimore, Thugs in DC have begun bike-by shootings
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
If your child "arrived home smelling of pickles or jalapenos over the weekend", the police would like a word with him
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
What do you call a one-armed man at softball game? I don't know either, but a sheriff deputy is in trouble for making fun of him
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
160 head of cattle flame broiled in barn fire. It was total loss, but farmer thanks firefighters for a job well done with so much at steak
source: myabc50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Dammit officer, there wouldn't be a problem if the city had proper hitching posts
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you leave your cellphone with a bartender as collateral until you find the money to pay your bill, make sure you don't have child porn on your phone
source: brookfieldnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Ethnographer danah boyd, who does not capitalize her name, says 'people self-segregate' "
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Warning issued after python is seen in neighborhood: "Residents are advised to be vigilant and call authorities if approached by the snake, which is said to be unarmed"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comedy Central)
 
 
 
PSA: If you need a goat farked, CNN will do it
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New navy ship with seven and a half tons of steel recovered from the World Trade Center is on its maiden vogage
source: liveshots.blogs.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Newspaper boxes may be prohibited outside new Jewish history museum in Philadelphia, to deter potential bombers and because nobody really wants to buy a damn copy of El Hispano
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
"I don't know how I'm going to teach a history lesson to squirrels, but I would be willing to sit them down and try to talk to them"
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man arrested for threatening Options Exchange guard with can of beer; cops say he was armed with a Colt .45
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Remember folks, flying trampolines and freeways do not mix well
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cynical C Blog)
 
 
 
Photoshop this SEM image of a mosquito
source: cynical-c.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Man killed in drunken chess fight. Checkmate, biatch
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TG Daily)
 
 
 
Steve Jobs is bigger than Oprah. Not physically, obviously
source: tgdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
One of the reasons Obama may be "indecisive" about McChrystal's request for more troops is because he already secretly approved an additional 13,000 troops for Afghanistan-in addition to the 20,000 he sent in March
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Berkshire Eagle)
 
 
 
Man sets self on fire, runs into neighbor's home and sets it ablaze. "Now it's personal," says neighbor
source: berkshireeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Miss Homeless Belgium crowned. You'd give her a sammich (pic)
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Too lazy to even press the button on your keychain to start your car? Yeah, there's an app for that
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Butt painted portrait of Stephen Colbert raises money for public schools
source: wtvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The London Aquarium is now catering to the gay fish demographic
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
This Halloween, your dog wants to be one sexy biatch
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
In today's current events, family of three attempts to erect radio antenna, ohmitting the step where they should check for overhead power lines. Darwin amply pleased
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Newspaper sued for badmouthing Stalin, which is kind of like getting punched by a jock for hating Nickelback
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Hots: Lesbian gets so drunk she gets it on with a guy. Scots: They're both so drunk they don't realize they're in the police station parking lot
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today asks how hunters stay in shape during the off season. Top answers include "running," "sailing," and "triathalons." Yeah
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The Boston Globe would like you to know that Massachusetts can be chilly in October
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Born with half a brain, woman living a full life. Article doesn't mention what district she was elected to Congress from
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
He's a former communist nation trying to find its way in a new world. She's an independent country free of the relationship that nearly killed her. Can one dusty rogue nation help them find love?
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Who among us has not wanted to lure a telemarketer into our homes just to punch them in the face?
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
"... the chance to combine two favourite German pastimes of saving money and stepping out naked proved irresistable"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Some MBA students need to have their study material beat into them by a 5'10" Middle Eastern man wearing three-quarter length pants who is hiding in a bathroom stall with a hammer. Others do well with flash cards
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
911: What's your emergency? Victim: Someone broke into my house last night. 911: We'll be by in about an hour, hour and a half tops. Victim: What if they're still here? 911: Maybe try to get back to sleep, warm milk always helps me
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wild Stallions caught fighting on camera. Hopefully they'll make up with each other before the fourth annual San Dimas battle of the bands
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British boy tries to bring sword into school. Epic flail
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's a moran
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(nbcdfw.com)
 
 
 
Manager of rodeo at Fort Worth Stockyards has problems with planned public "queer kiss-in" demonstration. "If they don't act right among cowboys, maybe they need to get a good whipping." Oooh, rough trade
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Gov. Schwarzenegger signs bill creating even more in-your-face, homosexual-bisexual-transsexual indoctrination
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WDSU)
 
 
 
Ten days, one neighborhood, zero murders. "It just makes you feel good when you don't hear about a murder." It's amazing what counts as good news in New Orleans
source: wdsu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop this New Delhi Air Show
source: newsimg.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Ancient flute played again for the first time in centuries, leaving Captain Picard staring pensively at the stars
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The five reasons why Rod Stewart, Tom Waits, Bob Seger, Axl Rose, Peter Criss, Brian Johnson of AC/DC and that dude in Cinderella should all worry
source: health.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Al-Qaeda 'faces funding crisis'. For a $20 donation you can have this beautiful Al-Qaeda tote, A $50 donation will get you the tote and a CD of Osama ululating the hits of the Beatles
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Maurice Sendak tells parents to "go to hell"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember that loss of benefits for AZ domestic partners? Well good news: they expire next year. Thanks contract law
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle.com)
 
 
 
What poker can teach us about America. "The national card game still combines Puritan values with what might be called the open-market cowboy's desire to get very rich very quickly"
source: chronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
The Salvation Army needs your suggestions for naming their holiday campaign. Why yes, I think we can offer some creative suggestions
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Police discover fake school bus with over 5,000 pounds of marijuana. Estimate the street value at 70 brazillion dollars
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Problem: chicken wings now sell for more than chicken breasts. Solution: Blinky's Nuclear Chicken Breeder Reactor Farm
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Ever want to build an AR-15 out of a cutting board? Me neither, but this guy did
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man steals _______ from convenience store. Returns an hour later to pay for _______. Was it: (a) Baby Formula (b) Medicine (c) Beer ?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
Mon October 12, 2009
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Students have to learn that you must suffer for your art. This girl gets an "A" in the class after she puts her hands in plaster of Paris and loses eight fingers
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Five gunmen involved in Toledo shootout; no injuries reported. Mr. Magoo and David Paterson sought for questioning
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Artier-than-thou
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(macon.com)
 
 
 
Naked bicycle-riding suspect arrested. Bike taken as evidence, but may be tainted
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Headline: "Woman blames high heels for hooning." I have no idea what that means, but it sounds hot
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man falls 125 feet in lift accident. You're doing it wrong
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fire in slums of Sao Paolo, Brazil, leaves thousands of people homeless ... well, even more homeless, I guess
source: mathaba.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK regulations on hypnotherapists so lax that three industry bodies give accreditation to cat named George (with "you will gives me cheezburger" hypnosis photo)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Sacramento mayor gets robbed in San Francisco, says it's the last time he is travelling to the Third World
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Wheelchair. Fencing. What could possibly go awesome?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tri City Herald)
 
 
 
If, after a night of partying, you misplaced your 100 lb. vagina sculpture, the Richland, WA police may have a lead for you
source: tri-cityherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SF weekly)
 
 
 
"I want to be cremated," he says with his signature dry, knowing charm. "And I want my ashes blown in Uri Geller's eyes."
source: sfweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Beneath the dark waters of Loch Ness lurk... balls. Lots and lots of balls
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTMJ)
 
 
 
Beer tax increase in Wisconsin unlikely to pass, but if you've ever wondered how many bottles of beer are sold annually in Wisconsin, it's a little over 2.4 billion. Billion, with a B
source: 620wtmj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man shoots his fiancée one day before the wedding. Whew. That was close
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Congratulations to 40below for achieving 10,000 greenlights on Fark. Also some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/4 - 10/10
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NWAnews)
 
 
 
Shocking study results reveal that women buy shoes that hurt their feet
source: adg.nwanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Best video of a Beluga whale blowing bubble rings you'll see all day
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Other uses for condiments
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kent News Net)
 
 
 
Squirrel decorating contest a big success
source: media.www.kentnewsnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Sunday was Family Fun Day at Indianapolis' largest cemetary. Come on out and play some cornhole on the grave of that great aunt who stiffed you in her will
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Some people can sleep through anything, like your house burning down and collapsing around you
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nerve)
 
 
 
Mathematicians are giving sex advice now. How hard could that be? Subtract clothes, divide legs, add penis, multiply
source: advice.nerve.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jackal Lantern)
 
 
 
So here's a pumpkin with an outboard motor
source: theday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
The next time you're planning a series of burglaries, don't forget to work out your escape route ahead of time, because you'll be terribly embarassed if you have to ask a policeman for directions
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Midget cheerleading isn't what you think. Or maybe it is, you perv
source: newsleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UFO Digest)
 
 
 
Argentinian couple report seeing UFO abduct cow, offer blurry photos of cow being beamed up. Your aliens want steak
source: ufodigest.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Depressed about violence in Afghanistan? Eh, go fly a kite
source: worldblog.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Suspect is pantsless. Repeat: pantsless
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Motorist who drove through puddle in Britain now faces prosecution for 'inconsiderate driving', a crime that if enforced in America would empty the streets in New York City, Miami and Boston
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
4-month-old baby denied health insurance because of a pre-existing condition. He's 17 lbs, which the insurance company deems "obese."
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Add "cooking magazines" to list of things that the Internet has killed
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Your kid may be a genius when: 1) He teaches you about the reproductive cycle of penguins. B) He says "Mummy, sausages are like a party in my mouth."
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to show your penis to a barmaid, officer
source: ydr.inyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
In another blow to the beleaguered publishing industry, magazines are suspected of spreading the H1N1 swine flu
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Scandal hits the annual Swedish drinking song contest when the winner is revealed to be horrifically sober
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Expatica)
 
 
 
"You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly"
source: expatica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Athlete dies while running in Baltimore Marathon. No, he wasn't shot to death
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KXXV)
 
 
 
Do you always pull over when a cop wants you to? What if you were in a stolen car? And naked?
source: kxxv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today is the day when Canadian Farkers give thanks for everything they cherish in life - friends, family, ice hockey and most of all, the fact that they're not Americans. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving, eh?
source: cfra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
If you need to get home after a heavy night of drinking, call a cab. That's called 'a good idea', whereas stealing an ambulance only seems like one at the time
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Old and busted: drawing penises on some drunk guy's face with a Sharpie - New hotness: sprinkling his shirt with Sterno and lighting him on fire
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Not news: Kid with knife suspended from school. Fark: It's a first grader in a paramilitary group called the "Cub Scouts"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SomeCapn)
 
 
 
Photoshop the missing exhibit
source: imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bogan)
 
 
 
"Clearly I had my seatbelt on, so it's impossible that I'd be leaning over sucking his d*** unless he is hung like a donkey or I've got a f****** rubber neck"; with pic of p*****-off woman
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny State about to start fining people who throw garbage into garbage cans £1,000 under new 'zero garbage' policy
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
I shed a tear when the cookie monster said it, but I just can't do it for Harvard's elite: "Cookies are a sometimes food"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Soon your kitchen will be able to grow its own salads and ... seafood? (pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
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