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| Sun June 01, 2008 |
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Drivers are putting less gas in their tanks, then unexpectedly running ou
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| (Some Drifter) |
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Photoshop under the boardwalk
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Blackwater Security buys a fighter plane from Brazil. when told that Brazilian law prohibits the sale of arms to companies or for use in existing conflicts, Blackwater replies: "It's for....ummmm, what, uh, what was the question?"
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Plane missing since 1984 found in receding Texas lake. See? Global warming isn't all bad
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| (Some Ex-Prez) |
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Caption this Bill Clinton moment
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Dude. That is some good compost you're smoking
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Reason #15,371 that people get fired: cupcakes
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Yves Saint Laurent looks absolutely faaaaaaaaabulous in this year's wooden overcoat collection
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Turns out that hurricane season forecasts are about as useful as "President Hillary Clinton" commemorative cocktail napkins
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Tornado that destroyed Hugo, MN last Sunday left behind some very bizzare phenomenon, like rewinding toilet paper and four steak knives that landed in a perfect square
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If you call your douchebag school official a "douchebag" on your blog you have to accept the consequences, says the US Second Circuit Court of Appeals
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Drug use doesn't stop with aging so, like, whatever groovy happening you wanna have on my lawn is cool, man, long as the fuzz doesn't find out
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College students can't read teacher's handwriting because it is in cursive instead of pixels
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Not news: Teacher retires after 36 years of teaching. Fark: Teacher drops dead five minutes after saying goodbye to her last class
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Sex And The City movie earns $55 million, which will hopefully be donated to help the rising female STD rates & single moms that the show created
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The strangest thing on Google Maps Street View you'll see all day
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police officer interrupts class to inform that fellow classmate died in a DUI accident; leaves a rose on the deceased's seat. Class all torn up, until it's announced that it was a ploy to make them ths about the consequenced of DUI
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On Saturday, when Barack Obama was apologizing for his racist church, John McCain visited Walter Reed. Without TV cameras
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Iran said on Sunday it might have to limit its cooperation with the U.N. nuclear watchdog, criticizing the agency's report which said Tehran's alleged research into nuclear warheads was a matter of serious concern
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Clinton wins the state of Puerto Rico, making her 21-0 in the United States That Matter
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Ugly-ass baby cremello blue-eyed cream foal that's not really an albino born in Hampshire
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop what's left of this old bench
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Terminally ill man collects £5,000 after betting he would stay alive
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Australia is becoming a nation of precious, nervous, anxious little snowflakes
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At 112 years old, Europe's oldest man attributes his longevity to 'cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women'
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Woman with a BB gun manages to shoot a stop sign, an unoccupied home that was being remodeled, several passing motorists, and the right hand of a man calling 911, but does not shoot her eye out
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Over 100 homeless people are living permanently in Heathrow airport, dressing like travellers to avoid detection. Tom Hanks unavailable for comment
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Australia has officially withdrawn from Iraq as of today, handing the reins over to US command
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Europe balks at $8 a gallon gas. Of course this is absurd since they don't use gallons, they have the Dewey Decimal system
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Hottest chick pickup location: Movie theaters showing "Sex in the City" that also serve alcohol
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When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have WWII anti-aircraft cannons
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Lasermonks. ''Like so many jobs you do in the monastery, you do what needs to be done"
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Oil to rise to $200 per barrel on news that oil has risen to $135 per barrel
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hometown celebrates diversity with "Meet a Black Guy" booth at the Saturday market
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Facebook profile: "I'm 27, super horny, and A+++in bed. I'm your 16 yr old daughter's high school teacher"
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Berliners annoyed with roving boars. Tells elderly British to go back home
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Bush to Myanmar: Screw you guys, we're going home
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Power cut caused by... itchy cows
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NASA putting Buzz Lightyear on space station (with pics)
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Massive special effect has broken out at Universal Studios
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Man drops thousands of dollars from plane, residents collect it for deposit on tank of gas
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this man flying the coop
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Amtrak ridership up as fuel prices hit new highs. In related news, Amtrak is still around
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Surgeons cut 16 washers from penis. Quote FTA: "The man may well have thought long and hard about placing himself in the difficult situation"
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| (Some mustachioed gent) |
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Inventor of the Pringle can buried in one, hopes to be kept fresh and crisp for years to come
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Girl's MySpace page says 19 and divorced. Guy 22, meets with her, has sex. Oops, she's 13. He gets a year in prison. FARK: The first guy she did this to got 5 years in jail
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Tonight on "Eye on Springfield": Meet a man who's been hiccuping for 15 months "(Hic) Kill me (Hic) Kill me"
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Man charged with using cartoon names to open 58,000 fake accounts. That's just goofy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Convict says he escaped because his penis was getting rotten in prison
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Madame Tussauds in Berlin to display wax figure of You-Know-Who. What could possibly go wrong?
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Man waits in ambush all day to fatally stab a neighbor who told him he smelled. That stinks
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Researchers studying death of swallows and if they can carry coconuts
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not satisfied with $4 a gallon gas, the completely independent, uncorrupted media warns $6 a gallon gas is possible this year
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Who ever said there's no cure for cancer? Millions of praying victims can't be... hey, wait a second there
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Last drunken tube party before alcohol ban. 'Transport chaos' is what they called it
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Foam pieces hit space shuttle during lift off. This is not a repeat of last year. Or the year before that
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Jesus loves me, this I know. I have his statue, made of blow
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6.8 earthquake rocks Taiwan; rubber dog poop prices expected to soar 400%
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The EU is at the same levels of research and development that the US achieved in 1979, and it will reach same per capita income as the US in 2072. But at least they have 6 weeks of vacation and aren't fat
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Prince William demands and receives dangerous tour of duty in Iraq. Just kidding, he'll be patrolling the treacherous waters of the Caribbean
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Lorenzo Odone, the kid with ALD whose life story was made into the film "Lorenzo's Oil," dies at age 30
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Five tips to ensure the TSA doesn't steal your stuff
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| Sat May 31, 2008 |
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"A vibrator, purple anal beads, a bottle of "pleasure-enhancing lubricant," a videotape titled "Big Bad Biker Biatches" and a mysterious sex device with wires coming out of it." Not news, but a hell of a party
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Much of Cuba works about as hard as Maynard G. Krebs did
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Michael Ware, CNN's Baghdad Correspondent, has some advice for John McCain
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you're a high school basketball coach, it's probably a bad idea to have your picture taken playing beer pong at a party where underage drinking is going on
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this funky old German deep-sea diving suit
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| (Some Girl) |
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Principal promises to dress like a cow and jump out of plane if students meet fundraising goal. They do. He does
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| (KTVB.COM) |
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Alabama man decides to run away with 14 y/o redhead. Be on the lookout for license plate OMGROFL
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From the facepalm files: Criminal geniuses steal vending machine from liquor store, leave dolly tracks all the way to their front yard where they left it in plain view
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Pray at the Pump activists link hands, pray for lower gas prices at stations. Since they've started, gas has gone up 43 cents a gallon. Maybe if they prayed for it to go up
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If your grand plan for hiding your drugs when arrested involves swallowing them, try to carry bags small enough to fit down your throat
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Barack Obama leaves Rev. Wright's Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago
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58-year-old transvestite grabs 73-year-old woman's boobies in church. With mugshot goodness
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17-year-old blames DWI on drunk boy she was kissing. The empty beer can in her purse had nothing to do with it. (with mugshot)
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| (Some Cyclone) |
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First Atlantic tropical storm of the season forms somewhere between the Moon and New York City
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Michael Chertoff says there's low risk for a nuclear attack. Translation: time to stock up on plastic sheeting and duct tape
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Shuttle countdown discussion thread. Launch scheduled for 5:02pm ET; link goes to NASA-TV
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| (Daily Camera) |
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"Spandex causes people to lose sense of humor"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man goes nuts after unnecessary testicle removal surgery, sues to get operating doctor sacked. Doctor says patient is a bit testy. Penis
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You can stop exaggeration your fish stories now -- British man already hailed "World's Greatest Fisherman." And before you ask, yes, he has caught a great white
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Caption Kevin Garnett of the Celtics
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Kangsadarn Wongdusadeekul is crowned Thailand's most beautiful transvestite. Next goal: win the World's Silliest Name contest
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this beautiful woman
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Spelling bee kid wonders if judge has numb nuts
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H :^) .. H :^| .... H :( H| *splat*
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Court bans Scottish man from hitting on women while drunk. What else is there to do in Scotland?
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♪ Cape Town riots kill eight more, doo-da, doo-da; also injuries galore, oh-dee-doo-da-day ♫
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Group plans to raise "world's largest" Confederate flag at junction of Central Florida's busiest interstate junction. Who could possibly object?
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San Mateo firefighters rescue a calico from a 32-foot-tall tree, ensuring that she gets to celebrate a happy Caturday
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There's nothing quite like a beak up the nostril
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Cabbie banned from driving because he cant use apostrophes. Im in his corner, for what its worth
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Weird laws from New Zealand: Shopkeepers have to use red ink to write the price on magazines they sell, you have to notify the government of any uranium you find, and the government can legally plow through your garden to build a canal
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It's no wonder why Naomi Campbell's been wigging out lately
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| (Some Guy) |
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"No, don't, don't cut my hair, don't do this in front of my daughter."
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this produce-loving duet
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Lager - is there anything it *can't* do?
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Boy from Indiana wins spelling bee. Who needs to noe how to spell when you have a spell cheqer?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Would all the parents who are regaining custody of their children please step forward. Not so fast polygamists
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Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean George Bush isn't hunting you
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Celtics vs. Lakers in NBA Finals. Time to party like it's 1987
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| Fri May 30, 2008 |
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Still photo has been leaked from actual space alien video release this morning. Folks, it doesn't get much more authentic than this
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This week's TSG mugshots start off with Flintstones wannabes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man dies while waiting for a green light. No word on his Fark user name
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All Canadian competitors have been eliminated from the National Spelling Bee after trying to put an extra "U" into several words and using a strange letter called "zed"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this unsteady rollerblader
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Motorists new frustration: Gas stations' $75 credit card transaction limits for fraud protection. Because not that long ago, a $75 fill-up charge was so ridiculous it had to be a scam
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Researchers claim to have found mathematical formula to find the perfect human voice. Still no logical explanation for AC/DC fans
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The rain in Spain falls mainly from the plane
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| (Some Weed Guy) |
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Check your cell phone caller ID tags - Zack the Weed Man probably not a great idea
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79-year-old man jailed for 10 hours because he forgot to pay for a $5.29 apple pie
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Another sign gas prices are too high: criminals now committing 'bike-by shootings'
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| (Some Guy) |
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Shop owner says sign advertising "Hidden Pleasures" adult entertainment was not meant to suggest naughty stuff. He's going to sell gourmet foods in a building with few windows
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It's summer, and Joe Sixpack has a list of the best beers in every style and for every summer activity. Note: For these purposes, Coors Light is not considered beer
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Jesus appears in tree trunk only at night. When morning comes, he makes like a tree and leaves (with pic goodness)
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Bob Dole laid a beat down on Scott McClellan yesterday. Yeah, that Bob Dole
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| (NBC 4 Columbus) |
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High school seniors finally pull off their senior prank 33 years later
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British tourist awarded compensation by court because his hotel was full of Germans. No word on whether he mentioned the war
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| (Some Guy) |
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Crane Collapse Trifecta complete
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Seven alahm fiah destroys lahndmahk Bahstan lobstah bizniss
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To everyone's complete surprise, stimulus checks fail to spark consumer spending
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111 Countries ban cluster bombs. Guess which country refused sign on
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Photoshop theme: Show your ninja skills. Link goes to GIS
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Principal & valedictorian BOTH plagiarize commencement speeches. Dumbass tag asks to be renamed "epic fail"
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Homeless Japanese woman lives undetected in stranger's closet for over a year. The Sun is there
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25 year-old teacher ordered her young student to treat her like a sex slave. Yes Ma'am (w/ hit it like two erasers together pic)
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Overwhelmed by patriotism and the sacrifice of our soldiers, Condi Rice joins the army. The Kiss Army
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45 advance to final day of National Spelling Bee. Officials promise to use a few real words this year
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Latest method of beating speed traps is a social network called Trapster, which will be outlawed in 3 . . 2 . . 1
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In praise of the old-school typewriter: "It didn't need power, it didn't need batteries, it didn't need recharging...And have you ever tried to hack into my typewriter? It is very secure."
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Indonesian woman accused of bribing a prosecutor handed out boxes of doughnuts at her trial. How outrageous, she should be... ooooh, doughnuts
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CNN Money uncovers the biggest story of 1997: online coupon codes
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Trying to make a teenager wear a "hedgehog helmet" apparently will get you fined for assault. Bonus: "It was not clear if the hedgehog had been dead at the time of the assault."
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Crane collapse leaves worker trapped under 20 tons of dirt. Crane collapse trifecta in play for the first time in recorded history
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| (Some Reporter) |
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Every morning, you should thank your lucky stars that you have Ric Romero to guide you through the confusing world of scrapbooking: "Scrapbooking requires a lot of cutting of fancy cardstock paper with precise cutting tools"
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| (Some Actress) |
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Caption what Maggie Gyllenhaal is thinking as she digs into some ice cream
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Oil prices continue to freefall, dropping below $126 a barrel on news that... er, (shakes a Magic-8 ball)... um... well damn, nothing makes sense any more, mommy, make it stop, make it stop
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Washington intelligence consultants warn that radical Islamists are planning nuke attack on DC, showing a detailed, elaborate computer-constructed image as evidence, or as gamers call it, Fallout 3 graphic
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It takes them a while, but some Americans are starting to learn that maybe, possibly, in a roundabout sort of way, living in a hurricane zone might not be the best idea
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Stupid: Labatt releases de-alcoholized beer. Worse: It tastes just like Labatt Blue
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| (Some Buzzed IT Guy) |
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Disregard BC-PA--Online Conman. It BC-PA--Millionaire Swindle, which moved at 8:12 a.m
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Neighbors weep and call police after kayaker nets half of beloved local swan family for his waterfowl collection. Turns out swans are free
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Two dead as a whopping crane collapses into a New York City apartment building
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Nanny State™ has banned firefighters from performing a fire safety demonstration in case it tempts little snowflakes into tackling a fire
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Today's "nine-year-old impregnates older female" story comes from Basel, Switzerland. With photo goodness
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| (Central Florida News 13) |
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The first rule of Prison Fight Club is you do not talk about Prison Fight Club. The second rule of Prison Fight Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT PRISON FIGHT CLUB
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| (Jeff Tabor) |
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Photoshop this bacterial self portrait
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Cocktail hats a new way for women to show creativity, instability
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The most fappable headline you will see this week. Bork bork bork
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| (San Luis Obispo Tribune) |
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Two men are in a mire after crotch was set on fire
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A seemingly cunning solution to smuggling items past pesky border patrols: a crossbow and zipwire
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Celebrities and their Muppet doppelgangers (with Amy Winehouse as Animal goodness)
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| (Some Guy) |
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When performing a cardiac catheterization, make sure that you have the right patient
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ugly-ass orphaned baby bunnies adopted by ugly-ass spaniel (With awwwww inspiring video goodness)
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Archaeologists exploring an old military road in the Sinai have unearthed 3,000-year-old remains from an ancient fortified city, the largest ever found in Egypt and presumably Jewish
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Do not try to motorboat Charlotte Church
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Minneapolis bar allows canines and their owners to drink together on "Beer With Your Buddy" night. Your dog wants a Sam Adams
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| (Some "White Art" Pamphlet) |
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Of course you love bacon, but have you ever wondered what to do with all that fat? Have you considered sculpting it into lovely artwork? This pamphlet will show you how
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Officials aren't sure why 50 people attending a sci-fi convention got sick, but they think it could be the alien babies implanted in their stomachs or the Rage Virus
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I know crazy sex is the best sex, but if you pick up a hitchhiker on the side of the road who claims to talk to the devil - DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER
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The 6 Most Badass Stunts Ever Pulled in the Name of Science (some not safe for work language)
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Looking for a unique way to advertise your business? Here are 20 business card designs that customers will never, ever forget
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| (Plano Star) |
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Quick, call the police and evacuate everyone, it's a weapon of mass... no wait it's just deodorant
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KKKK - the extra 'K' is for 'Kiwi'
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| Thu May 29, 2008 |
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Bumps turn into blows as members of a historical society get into a heated fight over rare town photographs
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If you're going to make counterfeit money, make sure you don't give it to your kids to buy school lunch
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Your dog wants his drugs back
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Thonged-masked men rob gas station, make get away with very little chaffing (with pics)
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Photoshop this quaint Canadian couple
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| (Some Guy) |
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Public high school principal requires students to attend Mass at Catholic Church in order to recieve degree
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"Uncontacted tribe" spotted in South America. Quick someone toss an empty coke bottle out the window
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Would-be theives leave nasty note "(Expletive) you and your safe"
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My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of sorrow cascading into a waterfall of tears. Harvey Korman has passed away, at the age of 81
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Oil surges to $200 a barrel as Wil's episode of "Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show" is released
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Native Americans are taking back the land that was once theirs. Your gambling money at work
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| (KVUE.com) |
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Eighth grader finds 100-year-old beer, has a better bar story than you ever will
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Renter: "I'm being evicted, because you haven't paid the mortgage. Where's the $30k in rent I paid you since August, and the $7,700 deposit I paid?" Landlord: "That's none of your business"
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Man arrested for spraying salt water on woman's shoes, but the real story is the mugshot
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Polygamists 2, Texas 0
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It's hard to know what to tackle first in a city with 300 murders per year, high teen pregnancy rates, rampant heroin use and the world's most stabby football team. Baltimore's mayor chooses... *facepalm*
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| (NWCN) |
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Olympia man in dress threatens random high school students with taser. "It looked pretty ridiculous, I'm not going to lie"
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British soap star wears leather coat to anti-fur PETA photo shoot. Some animals are more "equal" than others
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Soldiers in Iraq are complaining that their bullets aren't killing people dead enough
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Since two-year-old children are naturally calm and attentive, the playful and unruly ones are starting to receive ADHD drugs
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El español es la lengua primaria de Miami. Caliente
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The British guy who bet his friends that he could swim 3 miles across a busy shipping lane in Venice and almost drowned? Yeah, he was drunk
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If you have stupidly advertised your 16th birthday party on Facebook, you probably deserve to have your £4m villa trashed by 400 gatecrashers
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Can you mooch your way through an entire day? It's not news, it's the BBC
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Because it is fun to make up numbers while waiting for your flight, researchers claim that airline delays cost the travel industry more than $26,000,000,000
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Army base in Texas raises its drinking age to 21. In other news, before May 22nd, you only had to be 18
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Comcast H@x0R3D by tH3 P1g5
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Because the War on Drugs has been such a raging success, Florida makes possession of Salvia Divinorum a felony good for five years in prison. Despite no evidence of a problem
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EU court to take up the difficult question of our times "are chimps human?"
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What better choice for a talk show host than someone who's been held captive in an underground cell for 8 ½ years?
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| (Missoulian) |
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High gas prices driving more people to trade their pride, dignity and manhood for scooters and the delusions that accompany them: "There are only a few people with the mopeds. People respect us"
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Northwestern U. seniors say that the mayor of the third-largest city in the U.S. isn't "big" enough to be commencement speaker; should start getting used to third place when appplying for same jobs as Harvard and Yale grads
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Not news: The best campsites in the UK. Fark.com: Ranked by their nearby pubs... from tap to tent in 20 steps
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High school says two active-duty military students can't wear dress blues to graduation. Students tell school to suck it
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Study shows that foul language is the worst breach of all office manners. Well, godd*mn, that's just farked up
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People are getting so fat, air ambulances are requesting the dimensions of patients before they approve pickup. Have another double cheeseburger, America
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Hedge fund manager likes to shout "Woo-woo" or "Great song" or "Good burn" when he works out. Another guy in the gym doesn't like it and knocks "woo-hoo" boy off his bike and now they're in court
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652 people try to break world's record for biggest game of Twister. In related news, there's a world's record for biggest game of Twister
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Houston is prepared to spend $150,000 to make sure the cops don't get to grow beards
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Iceland rocked by 6.1 magnitude earthquake. Björk. Björk. Björk
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Helicopter crashes, explodes into Grand Rapids hospital
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NY governor recognizes gay marriages in other states, bright lights and some large objects
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UFO enthusiast will air video of actual alien that proves they exist. Because in the era of CGI when people can make their own movies on their home computer, you just can't fake an alien video
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Bought-out not fired journalist leaves his legacy in his last column. (Hint: read the first letter of each paragraph)
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Tefal introduces new toaster that also poaches an egg, warms up bacon. Due to lack of belief chip for Silicon Heaven, your chirpy breakfast time companion will only answer fairly bready questions, however
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this model train
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New York to build a fleet of ambulances dedicated to organ harvesting. Ambulances took a little longer than expected because it was difficult to outfit each one with an ice-filled bathtub
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| (Some Guy) |
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That 47-year-old female substitute teacher guilty of molesting a 14-year-old girl and throwing all night drinking parties at her house with her students won't see a day of jail
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| ($4 Bucks a Gallon) |
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High school students mad about gas prices walk to school in protest. Wait until they buy their own car
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101-year-old driver gets driver's license renewed until 2011 (with pic goodness)
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China's "quake lakes" that formed after the earthquake are now filling up with rain water and deadly chemicals and about to overflow. Throw in some sharks, laser beams, and Keanu Reeves, and we got us a blockbuster
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The first tropical storm of the season has formed and of course, nobody is prepared. EVERYBODY PANIC
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What does a 20-year-old gang "general" buy with his drug earnings? A 42-inch plasma TV, two expensive bikes, an Xbox, a PlayStation, and more shoes than Imelda Marcos
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White House: Scott McClellan, Scott McClellan, Scott McClellan? Never heard of him. You say he worked here? Anyway, why would we ever hire a left wing, liberal wack job?
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When dumping your trash in someone else's yard, it's best to remove the court summons from the bag first
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Don't like the judge who will be presiding over your trial? Just threaten to kill him and then claim he's biased
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| (Some Guy) |
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Dehydrated tomatoes show promise for preventing prostate cancer. If you've ever looked closely at a dehydrated tomato, you'll understand how it could scare a prostate into behaving itself
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A woman's dying wish was that her family could move from their old, ratty trailer and have a nice home. Local community, "Sure, we can do that." There's something in my eye
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Scientists thrilled to capture footage of world's rarest rhino, are dismayed to discover shortly thereafter that it's related to Sean Penn
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"A man biking under an Interstate 4 overpass saw something he didn't expect early this morning: A car flying over his head"
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Caption the president showing this Air Force Academy grad who's boss
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Woman, 59, has IVF twins with 72-year-old man. Couple then abandons twins at hospital because they weren't boys; ask how soon they can try IVF again. The Sons aren't there
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| (tch.edu archives) |
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Photoshop this simpler time when even smiles cost too much
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A woman has to be rescued by firefighters after she got her finger stuck in bed
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| (Some Guy) |
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Only in the South can a neighbor's dog get in a fight with the bride and groom's dog at an outdoor wedding and everything ends with several people being shot
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| (Some Guy) |
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John Travolta can blame "Battlefield Earth" for one more thing: Getting his name on the Drew Peterson witness list
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| (Post-Gazette) |
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Man builds rolling, thieving, gas-siphoning machine. Ideas like diesel be hard to follow
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Charlie don't surf but this hippo does. Loves the smell of napalm in the morning, too
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| (KARE 11) |
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High school seniors film themselves destroying school property, spray-painting walls, cause $10,000 in damage so they could get on MTV's "High School Stories"
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"Mom, what's for dinner?" "Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam"
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Skipping right over "Not news" and "News" to "Fark": Missouri town forbids unmarried couple to move into their house
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The bad news: Thieves have started stealing GPS units from cars. The good news: They're pretty easy to track down
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Student with 5.89 GPA denied valedictorian because she finished in 3 years, not 4
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Yearbook photos alarm parents, who weren't expecting pictures of lesbians, tattoos, piercing... wait, what was that first one?
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 160: "A Moment of Reflection." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed May 28, 2008 |
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Woman on iron lung dies during power outage. Arthur Digby Sellers unable to comment
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If you're going to drive around with 278 bricks of heroin in your purse, at least close it when the cops pull you over
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Two commuter trains in Boston collide and derail. Train Tragedy Trifecta (TTT) in play
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Not news: High school principal gives a commemorative speech to seniors. News: The speech was plagiarized from a former student. Fark.com: The former student is a current faculty member
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Florida Church offering Gas from God for $3.30
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Photoshop Theme: Where did I put my keys?
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Georgia town hoping to set Guinness World Record for "Most Scarecrows in One Location." In other news, there's a world record for having the most scarecrows
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| (Some Guy) |
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Clapping and cheering now banned at local lacrosse game to reduce stress
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The president celebrates with Air Force grads by "bumping chests." With pic goodness
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To discourage teens from loitering, town picks up and stores all the benches on main street. "We're trying to interrupt their comfort zone. It's a temporary measure"
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It's official: Britain more dangerous than Iraq. By one who was there. With lots of horror story links
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Nepal abolishes monarchy, informs king Gyanendra and his family that they have 15 days to GTFO: Canadian submitter stares at the Queen of England on his $20 bill, feels bitter and envious
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USS Kitty Hawk leaves Japan en route to be decommissioned. No word if ragtag team of officers will hijack ship and use it for some wacky adventure
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| (Some Guy) |
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Drug dealer being let out of prison early for turning his life around and being a model prisoner. Just kidding, they're letting him go because he's too fat for jail furniture
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Get these motherfarking snakes off my motherfarking penis
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Don't like your HOA rules? Some condos ban visitors after 11pm and won't sell or lease property "to any person or entity that may be described as being part of the Yankee race."
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Differences between men and women: Women cry out "Spoon!" and think of cuddling, where as men want to watch "The Tick"
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Not news: Qatar wants to create a better high school; News: So they hire a US principal to create the school to the high standards of her current magnet school; FARK: Principal doesn't know where Qatar is
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| (wmur.com) |
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If you're going to go tanning with your best friend, there are better places to do it than active railroad tracks
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Kids in Tracy, Calif. arrested for throwing 1,500 eggs at cars
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Bush says America must not lose its "nerve" in Iraq; because having lost our moral standing, international credibility, budget surplus, and way in Iraq already, it'd be a shame if we lost that too
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Gasoline averages almost $9 a gallon in Europe, with diesel costing even more. Condescending attitude toward America is still free
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The Czech Republic's soccer federation was prepared. The Latvian flag was shown in the program and the Latvian anthem was played before the match. Unfortunately they were playing Lithuania at the time
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China has invited the Japanese military onto its soil for the first time since the Second World War to assist with the quake lakes. Not that they were actually invited last time
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State has no lawful authority to deny concealed weapon permits to schizophrenics. What could possibly go wrong? (With "when hippies attack" pic)
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Leaning tower of Pisa said to be able to keep it up for another 300 years then to go flaccid on us
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Photoshop Theme: Create propaganda for Fark (link goes to inspirations)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember the 10-year-old boy who talked his way onto an airplane and flew to Texas? He nearly did it again, getting past airport "security" and onto the concourse
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If Scott McClellan's charges against Bush are true, it is the duty of Congress to impeach him
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| (WHDH) |
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Man's life-long dream to visit Graceland nearly derailed after losing his driver's license right before the trip, resulting in horribly pun-filled story
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Jenna Bush may become a teacher in the Baltimore City inner-city public school system. Easy coke access
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Maryland cop has his law-enforcement powers suspended after driving drunk, leading officers on a chase, and crashing his Harley-Davidson.... all after cops told him not to drive when they saw him at the bar an hour earlier
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If you're fighting Obama for the nomination, it may not be a good idea to quote polls from the prince of darkness in your letter to superdelegates
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Ewan McGregor has officially ruled out starring in "Porno," the follow-up to "Trainspotting." Because we all know an actor of his caliber would never star in a series of substandard knockoff sequels just for a paycheck
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| (IFC) |
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Come for the porn, stay for the plot. (Sponsored Link) (Some NSFW content)
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New York City lawyer sues Delta for $1 million because he experienced the same travelling nightmares that every other ordinary person does everyday. Bonus: his flights were free to begin with
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| (MLive) |
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People don't normally break into 10th floor apartments through the balcony. Also, they're usually not naked
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"This is the Texas fire department. We're just grabbing some burgers and we're on the way, so don't die on us"
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| (Some Guy) |
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84% of grade 10 students pass literacy test. In other words, 1 in 6 hope to go in to editting [Note: Editor will not edit this]
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High school employee arrested for being drunk on field trip. The real crime: Mixing vodka and margarita mix
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Taser may have changed this man's heart pattern, which for once wasn't a bad thing
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Phase 1: Turn spare bedroom into Hindu temple. Phase 2: ? Phase 3: Profit
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Woman rapes man. Man says he was scared stiff when she performed forcible oral sex on him
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JFK Airport to assassinate feral cat population
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| (NHRegister.com) |
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Town to fight illegal ATV use with cops on ATVs. Officers reportedly anxious to sign up for town's new plan to fight underage drinking and sex
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Thieves steal fish dosed with chlorine, estrogen and peroxide from aquaculture research center. Police said to be looking for two men of medium height with blond hair, white teeth and awesome breasts
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| (Some Guy) |
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If the railroad crossing lights are flashing, you shouldn't try to go around. This is especially true if you drive a school bus
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Not news: Man robs 7-11. News: Convinces clerk he's a new hire and gets trained on the register. Fark: Helps customers?
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Ex-SEAL trainee seeks to overturn murder conviction, says prayer for the dying, hopes for a kiss from a rose
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Bear takes a midnight swim in the Hard Rock Hotel pool, forgets room key
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Usually, stupid criminals do themselves in through hubris and poor planning. And then, there's just plain Wile E. Coyote-style astronomically bad luck
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Everyone's favorite Nanny State wants college graduates to stop throwing their caps in the air for fear of injury
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this alleyway
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Good news, pinko comrades. New improved "green bombs" are environmentally friendly. Our enemies will die an organic, carbon-neutral death that benefits the children of the rainforest
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Dad buys his daughter a new car after she attended every single day of school from kindergarten through 12th grade. It was a Pontiac, though, so it's sort of sending a mixed message
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God bless the Metro photo captioners, masters of the written art of sarcasm (unrelated NSFW bare bum in sidebar)
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Among the lost property found on the London Tube last year: A stuffed puffer fish, a harpoon gun, a pair of breast implants and a bag containing two human skulls. That must have been one hell of a party
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Woman skips "talk to the hand" option, chooses "talk to the brick" (with mugshot)
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Man fails to obtain stiffness while meeting up with an old girlfriend
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McCain sees plusses to appearing with Bush. Looking better by comparison suspiciously absent from list
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Not news: Twins separated at birth. News: They're suing hospital where they were born. Fark: Woman who thought she was one of those twins also suing
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Amtrak train trashes trash truck. Trailing train off track. Train on trash truck. Trash on train. Trash truck truckers in traction. Trainers in traction too. Subby trashed
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Two kinds of goodbyes
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| (WINK News) |
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Looking for that perfect art piece to hang over your fireplace? Why not buy a classic work by Stabby McKillyou from the Florida Death Row Gallery
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It's starting to look like those FEMA trailers given to Katrina victims are the smallpox blankets of our times
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Homeless man behind bars for attacking elderly man with Moon Pies. RC what you did there
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| (KSDK) |
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Southern Baptist library worker refuses to work at Harry Potter promotional event, and is forced to quit. ACLU suing on her behalf, but that won't stop some folks from claiming they're out to destroy religion
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Michelle Malkin claims victory as Dunkin' Donuts pulls ad featuring well known terrorist sympathizer Rachael Ray
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Jupiter grows a third red spot due to Jovian warming
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Toronto's mayor on target shooting: "Nobody can deny that hobby directly results in people being shot and killed on the streets of our city"
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Brooklyn high school suffering major attendance problem because high school students are afraid of being bullied by middle school kids
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Awful license plates... KTHXBAI
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| Tue May 27, 2008 |
| (WWL) |
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New Orleans officials concerned that some residents might not evacuate for the next big hurricane because of high gas prices
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Man accused of killing girlfriend because she wanted to work as a stripper decides to strip down himself during his police interrogation. [w/video thankfully blurred]
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Savvy American consumers spend economic stimulus checks wisely. Just kidding, they spend the extra cash on whiskey and cigarettes
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The "Iron My Shirt" DJs continue to insist Hillary wash their undees
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Obama's grandpa did see a concentration camp, just not Auschwitz. Don't worry though GOP, his middle name is still Hussein
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| (Some KMOXer) |
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Drew will guest on the Jon Grayson show on 1120 KMOX in St. Louis tonight at 11:15 Central
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Cypriot owner of Flintstones-themed bar trashed by partying British soldiers sues for $8 million. Mr Slate furious, asks Ann-Margrock to hold benefit concert
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Today's "nude and drunk 18-year-old female pot dealer involved in one-car crash" story brought to you by Fort Pierce
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2,500 year-old gold cup worth $200,000 found in box under bed. Heh. They're always in the last place you look
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Phase 1: Send panties to Myanmar embassy. Phase 2: ??? Phase 3: Raise money for cyclone survivors
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| (Anorak) |
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Pigeon purloining penises panics populace
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| (myTelus) |
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Several conservative politicians turn up on the RSVP list for a screening of the new Canadian film "Young People F**king" hilarity ensues
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Photoshop theme: create an interesting scene using a default Windows desktop background
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Two drunk Navy sailors hail cab, offer to drive, take cabbie on a reckless joyride, go on a beer run, watch the cabbie escape, then torch the cab. Ta-da
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People who watch a lot of reality TV mimic the behavior they see on the shows and try to become celebrities on Facebook and other social-networking Web sites
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Today's "well, how about that" headline comes from Afghanistan, where food prices are so high that farmers are moving out of the drug trade and into wheat
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Woman jailed for "blasting out Madonna tracks around the clock". Lucky for her Britain doesn't have the death penalty
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Man places ad in newspaper offering $5,000 for a wife, is sure to have a bevy of good looking young women lining up for this fantastic deal
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How do you find your old classmates for a Bible school reunion? Apparently, looking in the paper under "Recent Prostitution Arrests" can be helpful
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| (Colorado Springs Gazette) |
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Finally, we know why feds can't afford to treat wounded vets: They're paying for more important things, like improved shuttle bus service at rural casinos. Your soldier wants a buffet coupon
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| (WKYC) |
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Just as the Cleveland Indians season is prounced dead minor league affiliate Captains unveil all expenses paid funeral promotion
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Christopher Hitchens on the most pressing crisis of our time: waiters who insist on pouring your wine for you. It's enough to drive a man to religion
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's "woman attacks her 93-year-old neighbor with a vacuum cleaner and steals money from her purse" story brought to you by Cincinnatti, Ohio
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More than 1,000 civilians lined up in the rain to taste Army-issued bug juice
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Florida students rank above national average in math and reading. Nice try Florida, but you're still not getting your tag removed
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A fascinating examination of the current debate within Al Qaeda over the use of violence. Warning: It's from the New Yorker; so you'll be reading for a while
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| (Some Guy) |
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Look at all that scrap metal, just sitting along the railroad tracks, all mine for the taking. Hey, what's that sou--
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Church calls zombie parade blasphemous because they already had an Easter parade over a month ago
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People in home near Milwaukee shocked to wake up this morning and find police had been in a standoff with them all night
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April new home sales down 42% year-over-year, a 27-year record. March numbers were revised down by 17,000. Guess what the headline says?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Video games activate reward regions of brain in men more than women, Stanford study finds
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Obama claims uncle helped liberate Auschwitz. History books claim Red Army did that
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Al Gore misses his chance at millions: "Carbon cards" are the new stupid hawtness
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China shows usual tact and care in their official guide to assistants for disabled Olympic visitors. And by tact, I mean calling disabled people "unsocial, stubborn and defensive"
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Department of Transportation: March had the steepest decrease in driving ever recorded
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| (efluxmedia.com) |
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Red Cross to offer free gas for those who donate blood. What could possibly go wrong?
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Light pole gets tired of dogs peeing on it. Your dog wants a defibrillator
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| (Great Falls Tribune) |
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The odds of two drunk drivers crashing into each other, resulting in them both being cited for DUIs (her first, his seventh)? About certain when you live in Great Falls, Montana
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So an Indian, a Mormon and a homosexual walk into John McCain's ranch...
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| (nbc11news.com) |
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"We are significantly less than pleased with the fact that they are having arsons in our back alley. It's just not a good thing at all"
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Man calls clerk a lesbian because she didn't like the hot sausage in his pants
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Friends posted clip of their baby on YouTube just for ease of sharing. Submitter wants to shock them with a HUGE view count. Asking Fark community for help due to their love of nonsense and messing with things (and it is pretty cute)
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Man hires nude maid while wife is out of town, gets cleaned out. Only able to describe carpet and curtains to police
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Britain says strange aircraft are not UFOs even though they are indeed unidentified objects that appear to be flying
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