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| Sun November 11, 2007 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Milk is the new oil
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The hunt for the 7 Missing Wonders of the world is on. Items include the Holy Grail, Amelia Earhart's plane, Lindsay Lohan's panties
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| (Long War Journal) |
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Pakistan releases Taliban high commanders. This should end well
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Connecticut class creates a working historical submarine. However, some things don't react well to bullets
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Nanny State police categorize 40 percent of crime in Britain "unsolvable" within hours of it being reported, and are so good at their jobs that they can do it without ever visiting the scene or talking to any victims or witnesses
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| (The Age) |
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Coming soon to YouTube, video of street racers' cars being destroyed by the police
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| (Riverfront Times) |
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Naked and resisting arrest at a concert? That's a tasing, bro. Bonus quote: "He was tased in the ass for a prolonged period of time"
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| (vanityfair.com) |
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The damage done to the American economy does not make front-page headlines every day, but the repercussions will be felt beyond the lifetime of anyone reading this page
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90 years of battlefield photos
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Woman, after being refused entrance to New England Patriot's practice, cries "Havoc" and lets slip the dogs of vehicular assault
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| (WV Record) |
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2 Drinks $30 + Lapdance $30 = $16,000. Only in West Virginia
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Deputy chairperson disputes wrongdoing after being caught outside the door of the executive secretary during a business trip. Claims that he was just sleepwalking. Naked
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Note to St. Louis public schools: "Break a leg, kid" is an old show business saying. And it definitely doesn't mean you should send a kid with a real broken leg home on a school bus
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| (Some Guy) |
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Groom too drunk to wed so the bride married the groom's more sober brother instead
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"Tantrums, casual sex and useless £12,000 therapy: what REALLY goes on inside rehab"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Twenty years ago this weekend, some guy saw something odd flying outside his yard, and suddenly Gulf Breeze, Florida became nation's hottest UFO hotbed (w/ pics)
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Photoshop this sea urchin
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| (Victoria Advocate) |
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Old timer pens creepy letter to the editor with claim that seeing women astronauts on TV causes little girls to fling their Pampers at each other. What ever happened to girls wanting to be good Christian wives and mothers?
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Robbers armed with pistils take an 80-year-old woman for her life savings
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Seattle couple collects old answering-machine cassettes and mixtapes from the 1980s and 1990s, hopes to become the "Smithsonian of found sound"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Confused man with one shoe found covered in salad dressing at D/FW airport. Alcohol was a factor
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"Islamic Car" unveiled. Features include compass to Mecca, space to keep a Koran headscarf, built-in suicide bomb
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Buckling to conservative pressure, Google unveils new Veterans Day logo
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| (WLBZ2.com) |
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Paper mill gives 4 to 12 weeks pay as severance package. Union says that's not enough... which is pretty much the kind of thinking that got them there in the first place
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Disney sued for banning Segways used by the disabled. That's just goofy
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Study finds physical effects of anger last seven days. By the way, Radiohead sucks, George Bush is America's first philosopher king, Firefox is for losers and soccer is a much finer game than American Armoured Wankball. See you in a week
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| (Centre Daily Times) |
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Environmental screwup in building road costs Pennsylvania taxpayers $79 million
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| (Some Guy) |
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Botnet owner faces 60 years in prison and a $1.75 million fine
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Uglyass house-trained baby bear needs a new home. With pics, of course
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Actual headline: "Police: head found, possibly that of homicide victim". Possibly? That's some fine detective work there, Lou
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Coffee shops discriminate against women by making them wait longer - It's a fact - Well... unless you read to the end of the study where the researcher just can't seem to make up her mind what the results mean
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At least $500,000 was raised for the legal defense of the Jena 6. Would you like to know how the money was spent? The attorneys, who complain they're being stiffed, would too
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As if we needed more proof Japan is crazy. They've created a road that plays a song when you drive on it
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| (Some dumb college kid(s)) |
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Wisconsin bill would have all cigarettes extinguish themselves if not being smoked. In other news, ashtrays no longer work
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| (SunHerald.com) |
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Today is Veterans' Day. Thank the veterans you know for their service
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Guess what state is now arresting jaywalkers?
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| (DUI Blog) |
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California police officers are instructed to commit perjury in DUI cases, testifying about a fictional typical DUI arrest instead of bothering to record or remember the true facts of the case
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Top intelligence official testifies Americans need to change their definition of privacy to what government says it is
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| (SunJournal.com) |
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Top ten things to stop doing in your 20's. Missing from the list: Blaming everyone else for your problems
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this family on the move
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British bishop backs brothels
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| (Some deckhead) |
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New system developed by IBM can manage itself, heal itself, pass Voight-Kampff test
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Cashews sold as part of Girl Scouts fundraising come with bonus metal shavings. Sales of Do-Si-Dioxins and Polonium Butter Patties still brisk
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Boy suspended when ghost costume is mistaken for KKK robes. "The boy has friends who are black"
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AIDS vaccine shown not to work, makes patients more susceptible to HIV. Fark needs a "you're doing it wrong" tag
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| (Anorak) |
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Today's lesson from the Book of Duderonomy: Any brother who layeth the night with a nun shall awaken in the morning with candle in his penis. Amen
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Candlelight vigil for accident drowning victims turns into riot after survivors show up
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There are now three things certain in life: death, taxes, and a steady stream of Republicans soliciting sex in bathrooms
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| (Bowling Green Daily News) |
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Mike Hunt donates $200,000 to women's scholarship program
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British troops have been warned not to post personal details on internet websites amid fears that they will be targeted by British-based al-Qaeda terrorists bent on enlarging their penises
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Thai police arrest serial killer of seven sleeping security guards. Turns out it was a fellow security guard who "hates guards who fall asleep on the job and don't perform their duty"
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Los Angeles school teachers asked to pay back the $53 million they were overpaid by their school district
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70-year-old man robs bank with 50-year-old gun; now faces life in prison, which will be about five months
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British supermarkets are selling beer at a cheaper price than water
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| (some old fart) |
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Virtual Lite-Brite
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| (Some Guy) |
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Improve this old album cover
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Health insurer sets goals and pays bonuses based on how many policyholders are dropped
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| Sat November 10, 2007 |
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US has one of the worst infant mortality rates in the first world. On the bright side, it's not like we pay a lot more for medicine than the rest of the world
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| (9News) |
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Cement truck crashes through wall of yoga studio. OH YEAH!
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Residents pick Carrabba's Italian Grill as "best ethnic restaurant" in county. Bonus: Article uses this to brag about their diversity
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| (Ohio.com) |
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Already this year, 25 million Americans have had background checks by the federal government, a number that's risen every year since the 9/11 terrorist attacks
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Man admits making 15,000 harassing calls to women, asking them to take their underwear off. Will now spend most of his time trying to keep his underwear on
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Bank manager gives woman loans in exchange for sex. Jailarity ensues
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| (insidebayarea.com) |
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Three-alarm fire uncovers massive pot-growing operation in adjacent warehouse, intense desire to consume Doritos
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Spanish king tells Venezuela's Chavez to shut his whore mouth while men are talking
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| (Anchorage Daily News) |
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Stealing candy from a kid? Not as easy as one would think. In fact, these women resorted to armed robbery
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| (Some Guy) |
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Meet area 51's secret sister area 52. This is where they keep the REALLY fun stuff
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Behold..the HaHa guy's final resting place
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Where would you expect to find a dead body? A) Graveyard B) Funeral parlor C) Body shop
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| (Some Guy) |
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Guy takes argument with buddies to serious extremes. "Agree with me or I will turn yellow and die" Dude, Darwin is calling
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Challenge: Assemble something from these parts
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If you post binge drinking pictures to Facebook and say "we are not ashamed" you have an excellent chance of becoming a poster child for druken slobs everywhere. SAMANTHAAAAAAAAA JENKINS w/ pics
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| (Pal-Item) |
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Man loses local election by a single vote, then finds out that his wife didn't even bother to vote. Awkward
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Man hires hit man, discovers that "I'll pay you double to kill the guy who hired you" works quite well in real life
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"Mr. Toilet" builds world's largest commode as his house. Ty-D-Bowl Man blue with jealousy
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Website encourages road ragers to post license plate numbers and pics of bad drivers. What could possibly go wrong?
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Suitcase nukes unlikely to exist. Jack Bauer shakes head disapprovingly
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Hispanics don't hold their alcohol well. They tend to be macho and a knife is their favorite weapon. That's all according to a Maryland State Police training document
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After cop's fourth wife mysteriously disappears, investigators start thinking that the bloody and bruised body of his third wife maybe wasn't such an accident after all
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China, worried we're catching on, temporarily suspends shipping poisoned toys throughout the world
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3 killed in a China shop stampede. No bull
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| (Some Gazette) |
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Leaders from many faiths get together to discuss the story of Noah. It's not Jews, it's ark
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Guy who has never played "Manhunt 2" says it's no threat to society because it's too lame. Well, it's certainly no threat to society, but it's certainly not lame. Go write about global warming or something bud
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| (Saturday Gazette Mail) |
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Group to learn firsthand about homelessness by enjoying concert & outdoor movie, then camping out for one night in city park surrounded by security officers and portapotties
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Feløny chårges drøpped ågåinst jøggers who cåused a håzmåt scåre in New Haven, CT åfter IKEA øver-reåcted
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| (Some Guy) |
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Lawyer asks Judge to allow his client to become drunk to demonstrate that he is capable of driving while under the influence of alcohol
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| (Post-Gazette) |
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Christmas comes early for zoo polar bears as wild deer jumps in their pen. Includes video
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Massachusetts governor wants to imprison residents who participate in evil online gambling instead of spending their money in casinos where the state will get a piece of the action
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This is why the Asinine tag exists: parking rage "fight" between a dentist, a woman half his height, and her smallish brother too(w/video)
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| (Some SDSU Guy) |
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Feminists hold bake sale on college campus and charge white males more for same goods
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| (Some Guy) |
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Spaniard sells invisible friend on eBay
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| (Some Guy) |
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Chicago's Marina City, tired of all the paparazzi, proposes photography ban citing "common law copyright under current state and federal law."
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| (Billy Mack) |
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♪♫ Go On, take the monkey and run ♪♫
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| (MaineToday.com) |
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"The city wound up paying $135,000 for the resulting matted mounds of grass and nine half-inch-thick panels of serrated stainless steel." Welcome to the world of art
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| (Palm Beach Post) |
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Riviera Beach has the solution to teen crime: lock 'em all up every night
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Media helpfully links school shooting plots to MySpace "cyber school for killers"
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| (Some Perv) |
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Head cheerleader's mother arrested on suspicion of molesting a 14-year-old football player. Down...set...slut, slut, slut HIKE
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Japanese hospital's anonymous baby drop-off hatch has saved 8 babies in its 6 months of operation
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Romero of the Great White North discovers that sometimes Chinese signs are not translated into English well
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| (pjstar) |
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Girl who was kicked out of school for maroon highlights in her hair is allowed to return to school just in time for her lawyers to play the race card
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| (Metro.co.uk) |
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Factory worker has been found dead, buried under a pile of peanuts. No word if he had been a-salted
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Fed wants to raise cigarette tax to $1. What happened to the right to self abuse?
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| (Nationmedia) |
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"Baby boomers have disrupted every aspect of society and the worst is yet to come"
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| (My Fox Tampa Bay) |
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School principal says students are too young to learn about peace, bans peace banner
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| (Some Guy) |
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Newest poll results: Majority of Americans support civil unions for lesbian and gay couples. Fabulous
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| (MaineToday.com) |
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Two AWOL Marines charged with illegally shooting three moose, or meese, or mooses. Mice?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this young punk
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| (The Local) |
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Father and son blame each other for egging pensioners. Despite scrambled stories, both fined after cracking under questioning
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"Fellas, it's been good to know ya." 32 years ago today, the Edmund Fitzgerald was lost. Gordon Lightfoot says it all
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Pulitzer Prize winner Norman Mailer, the macho prince of American letters, dead at 84
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| (The Argus) |
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Mannequin sex, "lewd though it may be, does not fall within the purview of the indecent exposure statute."
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"...Richardsson filled his time on stage by invoking everything from ninjas to lolcats to Technoviking..." I can haz Mac geeks? (Yes, this is your Caturday thread)
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| (KFI News) |
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If you're in LA, you can longer say the "n word." First Amendment unavailable for comment
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| (Some WM) |
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The time: November 10, 1775. The place: Tun Tavern, Philadelphia. The who: The Few. The Proud. The Marines.
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Ingredients for salad dressing found in 2,400-year-old Greek shipwreck....No doubt they were tossing salads
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Uncle Jesse says: when going to jail, make sure your hair is perfect
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Nanny State update: War veterans' fury after Remembrance Day services scrapped by health and safety killjoys
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Submitter would come up with a clever headline, but it's a British TV show that convinces women to take off their shirts to see how well their bras fit and it has pics, so the hell with it (possibly Not safe for work pics)
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Calamity Jane's pistol to be auctioned this weekend. You know who else's pistol to be auctioned? Pancho Villa's
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First 450 people who show up at Cleveland's convention centre this Saturday with a working handgun will get a $100 gas card. The first person to think this through will get $45,000 in gas cards
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Led Zeppelin are about to break the record for the most expensive concert tickets in British history. The Sun is there
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A whites-only bathroom in Georgia? How did we get back to 1967?
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Hackers force Rhode Island to temporarily shut down its website, potentially affecting dozens of people
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Officials confirm Biologist officially died of The Plague although official tests aren't official. The Official spoke anonymously because an official statement hasn't officially been released by official officials
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| (gimme a hug) |
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Texas school district mounts full-frontal assault on hugging, enacts ban. Students fail to embrace policy
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| Fri November 09, 2007 |
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Photoshop this red face
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| (World Net Daily) |
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Live in HUD housing? No Jesus for you
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| (Gothamist) |
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Maple syrup smell back in NYC
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Da Vinci's "Last Supper" has coded 'soundtrack.' Hits include "Danger Zone" and "I Will Always Love You"
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From the you-can't-make-this-stuff-up department: "Woman Torches Ex's Mounted Bison Head"
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| (Some chopped up dude) |
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Way number 2,678 you do not want to die
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If you've been waiting for somebody to release a kosher ham soda, your wait is over
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The first rule of Kidnapping Club is take away your victim's cell phone. The second rule of Kidnapping Club is don't talk about how stupid of a kidnapper you are
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Why are those screenwriters on strike? Answer here
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Chief of LAPD thinks effort to map muslim areas of the city should be thought of as "community engagement" and not racial profiling
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| (Some Guy) |
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Teachers post a traffic signal in the cafeteria that switches from green to yellow to red as the decibels rise. Naturally, some parents object. "Now you've got the kids like Pavlovian dogs, watching this light"
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Skinny-dipping club claims civil rights shrinkage, wins case due to legal wrinkle; will be allowed to organize nude swims at public pool
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| (Idaho Statesman) |
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We've all seen the stories of parents being charged with injury to a child for having houses filled with pet feces. This woman raises the ante by including a partial elk carcass. With dirty-faced mug shot
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65-year old woman robs gas station to buy gas. Welcome to the future
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| (ksdk) |
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Police evict people from wrong house. That's some nice police work there, Lou
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Florida backs out of water deal with Georgia after getting cut off like husband on losing end of argument
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| (creativeloafing) |
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The Internet's newest douchebag is back whining about his ruined reputation
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| (Some Guy) |
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51,000 sunglasses from China recalled, the Friday lead trifecta now in play
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| (NBC5) |
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Godless substitute 5th grade teacher tells students that their toothpaste has rat poison, that sugar is cocaine, and don't call her "miss" because that means prostitute
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| (CityNews) |
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Section of downtown Toronto shut down for suspicious package... which turns out to be an alarm clock
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Autopsy reveals what everyone already knew: that NYC woman who died while in police custody at the Phoenix airport strangled herself
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Cities overwhelmed with requests for parking ticket hearings solve problem by outlawing hearings
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| (Nature dot com) |
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Rush Limbaugh falls for hoax paper that blames nature for global warming. Nice research work there, El Rushbo
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Confirming that the lottery is a tax on the stupid, scratch tickets withdrawn because customers couldn't understand them
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Businesses are adopting e-mail-free Fridays to cut back on information overload and encourage direct communication. This idea brough to you by technologically-impaired workforce geezers
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| (Some Denver Farker) |
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Attention Denver Farkers: Mini-Fark Party at Public House tonight from 6:00pm-10:00pm (open bar for $10)
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Former Arizona governor making UFO documentary. I want to believe
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| (C & G News) |
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Today's teacher/student scandal: 17-year-old stud bags and brags. Bonus: she was his French teacher. (With ooh-la-la picture, including the come-hither crazy eye)
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| (Some Whacko Moonbat) |
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VP Cheney secretly ordered a nuclear strike against Iran. With lots of BOLD text to make article even more ominous
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| (Some Guy) |
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A Russian company has made a device which it says allows retailers to sell draught beer easily from stores
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Another day, another 175,000 lead-tainted Chinese toys recalled
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Taco Bell fires 30-year employee, apparently concerned they would have to pay her retirement in $2 bills
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Disney insists that they were planning to overhaul "It's A Small World" anyway, recent incidents of fat tourists causing the boats to get stuck is just a coincidence
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Dear Western states: If you think you're going to solve your water problems with the Great Lakes, prepare for Civil War. Love, Michigan
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| (Canon) |
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♫ "Battle of the viral video stars" ♪ (Sponsored Link)
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Woman was so upset that someone stole her $4 pumpkin, she wrote a threatening note to the public, walked through town with a large knife and pinned the note to the town's message board
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Texas may be in violation of the ADA for providing "state services" in establishments that allow smoking. In other news, lottery tickets are considered to be state services
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Pretty ridiculous: internet site offering Hannah Montana concert ticket for equivalent of $24,000. Also ridiculous: normal price of Hannah Montana tickets is $240
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Todays conveniently timed explosion and fire at a US oil refinery brought to you by Port Arthur, TX. Magic 8 Ball seen clocking out early and headed home for weekend as it is pretty sure we already know what will happen
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Funny: forgetting to close your gas tank lid. Fail: Forgetting to take the gas nozzle out and driving off. Fark: Forgetting your car completely after paying for gas and walking home
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| (Tommy Condons) |
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Reminder: Charleston Fark party tomorrow 7pm... LGT venue, y'all
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Nanny State police order two-year-old girl to pay fine after speed camera clocks her driving 65mph in a 40mph zone or go to court
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| (ars technica) |
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Having won the wars on terrorism and drugs, locked up all the pedophiles, murderers and bank robbers, Congress wants DOJ to prosecute file sharers individually
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| (www.caller.com) |
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Not news: small plane flies low over high school football game. News: it's being flown by a teen who drops a football in the endzone. Fark: his classmates had already collected bail money
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Strange items Floridians have swallowed (with X-ray pic goodness)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Reminder: NYC Friday Farkin' Happy Hour TONIGHT
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If Jack Bauer and "24" were around in 1994
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| (Some Gal) |
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Instashop - Photoshop this bus into something more exciting
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Not content with their new illegal immigrant law, Oklahoma legislators now want to seize assets of those who house and transport illegals
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Nobody gets away with parking in a handicapped space in Weymouth, Massachusetts. Nobody
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School board sues parents over an online petition criticizing an administrator. It's not about the money; it's the principal
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| (Weblog Awards) |
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The final tally: 29,121 votes and exactly 50% of the votes cast. Behold the Power of Fark
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| (Hindu.com) |
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Three men attempt to rob jewelry shop, quickly discover that other building tenants - armed with iron rods and clubs - don't care much for armed robbers. Bonus: One of the robbers was nicknamed "Bouncy"
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| (Portage Daily Register) |
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Woman charged by police and taken to court after having a sex discussion with her two sons, instead of letting them find out about sex through porn, like everybody else
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| (Some Grinch) |
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Another day in the Department of the Blindingly Obvious: study finds that most people throw away the Secret Santa gifts they get from co-workers
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70 year old woman wades in with walking stick to fight off three guys robbing a schoolgirl. STAY OFF HER LAWN
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this adventurer
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Criminals fleeing gas station robbery are captured a quarter block away after police follow their trail of dropped coins just a few minutes after the robbery. Dime that was fast
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Study finds monkeys in white coats may be useless at treating back pain, no matter where they got their chiropractic degree
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| (Free-Lance Star) |
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Today's overturned semi full of pickles and peppers brought to you by Virginia. Peter Piper unavailable for comment
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Consumer confidence hits a two-year low after mugshot photos of Mickey Rourke are released to the media
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Green Bay man tased three separate times AND bitten by police dog before his snowplow hijacking crusade comes to a close. A+ for persistance
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Only in Japan would they think it's a good idea to scare people into saving money by giving them exploding piggy banks
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| (Brooklyn Paper) |
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From the city that brought you ticketing six-year-old girls for chalk drawing on sidewalks, here's the sequel: Bartender written up for placing lime in Corona beer bottle with her bare hands
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| (WMTW.com) |
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See Gramps ride his bicycle. He rides it to school to pick up little Billy. See Gramps bring home little Zacari instead. Bad Gramps, bad
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| (Some Hygenist) |
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Contest to define Britain in five words: Strangely, "My orthodontist is highly skilled" not on shortlist (with voting)
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Man hides in suitcase to enter US illegally. Good thing he came from Chihuaha, Mexico and not from Labrador, Canada
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| (Int'l Herald Tribune) |
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Concerned mom finds out her precious little snowflakes are sending each other rubber blowup dolls on Facebook. Does she A) get over it B) have a stern talk with her kids C) fling hamster poo at her husband
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Doctor sums up patient types in decreasing order: engineers, nurses, and self-absorbed Googling dumbasses
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President Musharraf places opposition party leader Benazir Bhutto under house arrest
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New Australian anti-rape law means that "Yes" can now mean "No." No matter what you do, you are a rapist
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DJs run contest where parents continuously touch "Hannah Monstrosity" statue to win concert tickets, prove they love their snowflakes
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Photoshop this aviator
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Teen sues St. Louis Cardinals after message board allowing custom messages via cell phone showed her name along with the message "has an STD. Eww." Apparently, massive psychological trauma ensued
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Flasher flashes court during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction
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You shouldn't eat poker chips, even if they are full of delicious lead
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Family of woman who died of snakebite received in a church service suing hospital, saying that they were too busy making fun of her for being a snakehandler to actually treat her. Submitter leaves it to you to decide who gets the tag
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New Orleans so bad it makes Detroit look like the Garden of Eden
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| (Metro.co.uk) |
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An Advent Calendar just isn't complete without a serial killer being included
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One-third of popular songs refer to substance abuse
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| Thu November 08, 2007 |
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Man tired of initiating sex tells wife "I'll make no more advances until you ask me." Unfortunately didn't think his cunning plan all the way through
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| (Galesburg Register-Mail) |
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Today's coach doin' it with a student comes from Illinois. Bonus: Coach gets paid for it
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Cute Alert: You just haven't seen anything until you've seen a meerkat stick out its belly at you
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Atlanta man tries to use stun gun on carjacker, gets shot five times for his trouble
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| (wwmt) |
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Parent finds one 22 caliber shell in school parking lot. Guess what happens next
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| (Moyle) |
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Father says it doesn't legally matter what his twelve year old son wants, he's gonna get circumcised. Got any tips for the Oregon Supreme Court?
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| (American Decency Association) |
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Suggested sample letter for you to write to Victoria's Secret, expressing your outrage over their "pornographic aggressive sexual advertising." Er, you are outraged, aren't you?
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Wesley Snipes claims the U.S. government purposely chose the most racist county in the nation as the location for his tax-evasion trial
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Ah, the joys of modern air travel. Airlines are now purposefully flying with less fuel to get priority landing when/if they arrive at their destination
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There can be only one. Because the other of the two remaining survivors from the Titanic has died
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Children's toy banned for drug contamination is becoming a big hit on the black market for stupid teenagers
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Bombing, tank fire and complete blockades haven't made the Gaza Strip any less unruly, but turning off the electricity will really do the trick this time
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Deadly tidal wave heading for Great Britain. EVERYBODY PANIC... oh, and blame global warming
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From the county that gave us science book disclaimers, police decide catching robber is worth shutting down one of the nation's busiest interstates during rush hour
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O.J. arrives at Las Vegas courthouse... wearing really tiny gloves
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| (Some Sea Captain) |
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Photoshop this young fisherman
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Retailers across the country are worried about poor holiday sales this year due to stagnant wages, a weak dollar and high gas prices. Oh, and the fact that the FBI is warning of al Qaeda attacks at malls won't help either
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TV station gets hundreds of emails after discovering that companies are forbidding employees to smoke -- off the clock (with survey)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Proving that ESPN hires only the most intelligent reporters, Rob Stone casually takes a bite out of the hottest chili pepper in the world(Some NSFW ads)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Republic of California set to sue U.S. government for global warming
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Previously unseen David Bowie mug shot from 1976. With androgynous goodness
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| (People) |
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Britney Spears misses eight of 14 drug tests, which is a .428 peeing average
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| (Weblog Awards) |
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Last second voting.... Wheaton's ahead, but not by much. Get those votes in
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Those whippersnappers on the lawn are thought criminals: "Offences against old people should be dealt with in the same way as hate crimes that are motivated by racism or homophobia"
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| (China Daily) |
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Deaf-mute couple having trouble getting divorced. The paperwork was a cinch but the hearing didn't go so well
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| (Some Guy) |
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Time Magazine panel meets today to consider nominations for its Person of the Year. Who do you think it should be, and why? (VE, rules in the link)
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Batshiat crazy priest stalks Conan O'Brien. The Smoking Gun is there, with stalker letter goodness
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| (Radar Online) |
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Turns out that Rudy Giuliani is receiving money from officials in Qatar who were linked very closely with Al Qaeda and 9/11 conspirators. 9/11
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Cops in Utah are sweating off meth fumes by relaxing in a sauna at a Scientology-based clinic. On the taxpayer's dime
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Illinois legislature: "All schools must observe a daily moment of silence." Evanston School Board: "Suck it"
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Woman sues hairdresser for not hiring her because of her headscarf even though we all know it's really because of her creepy eyebrows
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| (SW NB) |
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One in 10 Nebraskan students can't pass state math exams. That's like, 70 percent
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For the first time this century, Congress finally remembers about that checks and balances thingee in the Constitution
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| (KSL.com) |
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Remember that Utah Alcohol Beverage commisioner who wanted to cover up all the booze? She said it was all a joke and you can stop with the death threats now
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"The truth is women can't really cook. Women's cooking is often so poor because it is largely performed as a matter of necessity. The only people who can actually cook on this planet are men"
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Serve your country? That's unemployment
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Woman is hoping to get out of a jury summons she received on her 102nd birthday
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| (Ballot Access News) |
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Tragedy today, as Prohibition Party presidential candidate Earl Dodge died suddenly at 74. He was sober
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World's perviest driving instructor gropes students, asks for sex as a fee, forces student to feel a carrot he shoved in his pants, keeps porn in the glove box... and goes to jail
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Conservative pundit wants you to know that any film portraying American troops as less than perfect is traitorous -- but dissent is still totally cool
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College intern put in charge of police department when no one else wanted the job
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Scientists decode whale sounds so they can fake out the alien space probe and leave the cast of "Star Trek 4" in the future where they belong
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| (News8Austin) |
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Pancho was a bandit boy / his horse was fast as polished steel / He wore his gun outside his pants / for all the honest world to feel
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Truly awesome new Guiness commercial. Took a week to film in a remote mountain village, which is still waiting for its bar towels
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| (Prospect Magazine) |
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European panty-twisting over genetically-modified food is costing lives in the Third World
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| (Jossip) |
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Stanford study discovers that in drunken college hookups, men achieve orgasm more than twice as often as their female counterparts. America stunned by the revelation, closes public offices
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People unconsciously opt for things that begin with their initials
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It really sucks when the engine falls out of your airplane
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From the "I Thought So" Department: Nick Hogan Bollea spent less than an hour in jail yesterday, was indeed out before lunch
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The city is trying to shut down your private swinger's parties. Do you: A) Hire a lawyer and fight it? B) Shut down the party? Or C) Argue that attending church is more dangerous
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"I've seen stupid strikes, I've seen less stupid strikes.... This is a stupid strike." All this from Michael Eisner. Bitter, party of one, your table is ready
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Giant candy-licking GTA billboard sure to be a hit with parents and nuns
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember the Dell Dude? He's now waiting tables at Tortilla Flats (pic)
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Beer prices on the rise. Drew expected to raise TotalFark price as a result
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New Hampshire Farkers asked to be on lookout for witch with special powers
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Man who sets up surreal sappy website to track down the girl he saw on the subway finds her. Bonus: She's an Aussie who loves "anything romantic"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the scene that this sign is trying to depict
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| (Some Guy) |
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Al Qaeda no longer able to operate in Baghdad. This important update from Iraq can be found prominently displayed on page A19 in the NY Times
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Norway's Supreme Court rules it legal to throw cake at Ministers. In unrelated news, sales of cake skyrocket in Norway
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pseudoscience climate change denial site may win Best Science Blog award. "Apparently conservative political sites have been directing their readers to vote for it, whether they read it or not." Hmmmmm
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| (MaineToday.com) |
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"Awww... it's raining out and look at that poor kitty out there. Let's let it in," she said just before all the shots began
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Patients seen leaving their hospital beds to nip to the shops in their pyjamas and slippers. At least leave your drip behind
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| (Weblog Awards) |
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News: Polls close Thursday at 10:00 p.m. GMT, which is 5:00 p.m. EST and 2:00 p.m. PST. Fark: Messing with online polls since 2002
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| (Some Guy) |
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The founder of The Weather Channel claims that global warming is the biggest scam in history. He obviously forgets the staged moon landings
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Chicago church is somewhat progressive in allowing gay clergy, but not so progressive that they'll allow gay clergy to have sex
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This ship is the Spirit of Nantucket / (complete the limerick)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police discover Mafia's 'Ten Commandments' after arresting Godfather
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Studies show that having a good time at work is beneficial. Fark is here to help
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Flooded Mexicans living on rooftops. Welcome the improved living conditions
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"Bush and Sarkozy declare Iran aim". Sights are adjusted and pressure is applied to trigger finger
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An economist goes into a bar .... and debunks the myth of the Asian fetish
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"Please enjoy yourselves, there's lots more Coke and sex in the house"
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Over 25% of homeless are vets. At least those stray dogs and cats will be taken care of
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Good news for commitment phobe males as scientists find women with sexy walks are least likely to be ovulating
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Newly discovered memoirs of WW1 veteran reveal laugh-a-minute life in the trenches
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| (Big Head DC) |
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Calling it an accident, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney has pulled down several of his campaign advertisements from Gay.com
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Oregon QB has a lot of balls taking billiards class as his only course this year
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Retired AT&T worker blows the whistle on the NSA's illegal wiretapping in AT&T network closets "They were sweeping up everything, vacuum-cleaner-style." You youngsters can get off his Constitution
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"I'll be back," is the most quoted line in movie history
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| (Times Herald Record) |
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In New Jersey, even the bears steal cars
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| (Some Local Guy) |
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"Hello? 911? Can you bring me beer? I've called you guys like five times already"
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Kansas winemakers whine after the Governor of Kansas said "If you ever see Kansas wine, don't drink it"
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Urban legend known as "Purple Aki" is in court accused of touching other people's biceps
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Much like its namesake, the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library has lost track of thousands of mementos from the Gipper's life
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| (Some Guy) |
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You know you're a good salesman if you can convince a woman to leave her family without any warning in exchange for a life of selling magazines door-to-door
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"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" less finger
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Photoshop this facade
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"I didn't like my adopted daughter so I gave her back." and other ways to get rid of your kids
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14 year-old saves man who fainted and fell several feet in front of oncoming freight train. Awesome: both survived due to kid "watching Mythbusters"
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News: Civil Aviation Authority receives distress signal from ship. Fark: located in center of a pile of refrigerators in a junkyard
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Twenty-three illegal workers at O'Hare International Airport busted for using fake security badges
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A New York City restaurateur unveils a $25,000 chocolate sundae setting a Guinness world record for the most expensive dessert
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| (Farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 131: "It's About Time" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed November 07, 2007 |
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US and Australia recall Chinese made date-rape drug--for kids--possibly due to lead coating
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Hugo Chavez shocked... simply shocked... that masked gunmen opened fire on a pro-democracy rally denouncing his dictatorship
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A woman wearing a wedding dress drove into a pond after officers tried to take a bag of marijuana from her. Nothing to see here. Move along
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Sicilian Mafia told to improve their morals
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Eighteen years after it was torn down, survey finds one in five Germans would like to see the Berlin Wall rebuilt
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Oregon police are lending radar guns to people concerned about speeders in their neighborhoods and sending strongly worded letters to the speeders they catch
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British gasoline tops $8 a gallon. So quit yer whining ya American wankers
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| (Some Jon) |
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Drew joins "Two Johns No Waiting" on KMOX St. Louis tonight at 8:30pm CST
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Charleston, SC Fark Party this Saturday the 10th, Tommy Condon's Pub
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Parents trying to ban "The Giver" from public school libraries cite infanticide and violence. Cause no other books or TV shows have those, you know
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| (Idaho Statesman) |
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Small town in Idaho passes two out of three marijuana initiatives, leading to highlarity comments being left on newspaper website
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| (Some Guy) |
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White-cheeked gibbon monkey escapes Nashville zoo again - mug shot included
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If you're in the Netherlands and you swear that you are seeing bananas washing up on the shore, it's not the great hashish you scored in Amsterdam after all
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Mother of the Year candidate sends stripper to son's classroom for his birthday
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Ten-year-old boy who started the Buckweed fire could face multi-million dollar fine and removal from his home
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| (Some Vacationing Guy) |
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Photoshop what this tourist is pointing at
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Georgia governor seeks divine intervention to get some rain. Why didn't we think of this sooner?
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Following the lead of Pakistan, Georgia declares state of emergency. Urges citizens to stay inside, avoid Michael Vick
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Tho this cowboy's life is a livin' rage / And his lovely wife he lives to please / There lurks inside of him a little boy / Who dearly loves to tease
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Nearly six out of 10 Americans don't think Americans are smart enough to make political decisions for themselves. Europeans nod sagely
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"I got this [dragon tattoo] while a teenager. I met the greatest girl in the world and now I'm married. Problem is, she's afraid of dragons. I've started getting it removed. Will take years"
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Austin police scramble after report of man in black with rifle on downtown rooftop. Turns out it was a Johnny Cash impersonator with a pool cue
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People in Denver really want to get high, passing another measure to keep police from enforcing marijuana laws
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| (People Magazine) |
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Damon Wayans goes on "The View" and tells the women to get back in the kitchen. Bonus: He also defends Don Imus (with video goodness)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Belgian police set up special unit of six blind cops specializing in transcribing and analysing wiretap recordings, with hi-tech equipment, fully decked-out lab, cool office with totally mod decor. At least that what the other cops tell them
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Iran says it's reached 3000 centrifuges for high uranium enrichment. Scientists say it takes 3000 centrifuges to create a bomb in one year. What do you say will happen in 365 days to Iran?
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September 1906: Using photos and clues from the newspaper, identify and capture the Tribune's Mysterious Mr. Sly and win $250. What could possibly go wrong?
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| (Radar Online) |
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Ever wonder what would happen if you wore a "My other dick is black" t-shirt in Harlem, or tried to pick up a woman while wearing something that said "I'll f*ck the fat friend?" One brave soul finds out
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It's that time of year again: another asshat parent discovers their precious snowflake's high school literature assignments aren't all about puppies and flowers, and promptly throws a hissy fit
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Most anticipated movies of 2008. New "Rambo" movie makes the list. Where is your god now?
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In one of the slowest news days in British history, the Daily Mail offers this pic and article about the "world's largest dog" meeting the "world's smallest dog"
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| (TG Daily) |
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AOL loses one third of its subscribers in one year. The other two subscribers have no idea they are still subscribed to AOL
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Remember when getting a leg shot off was an automatic medical discharge? Not so fast there, Private Gimpy
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"Roe vs. Wade For Men" terminated
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Older sister beats brother in mayoral race after successfully beating his ass throughout their childhood
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Illinois Governor Ryan begins his felony conviction prison sentence today and h ...did that photographer just take a picture of the spokeswoman's ass?
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Philadelphia voters re-elect the judge who ruled that raping a prostitute is "theft of services"
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Some folk'll never get stuck in mud up to their chests, but then again some folk'll..
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Eight pound, six ounce Baby Jesus: 0, Nazis: 1
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| (Web Drifter) |
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There is an old man who lives in the swamps. This old man wears nothing but rubber. But not to stay dry. He wears it to keep the wetness in
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"I have used it myself to experiment and I have slept very well for the past two nights. As for the rest, it's a question of taste." Ugly pyjamas creating a vile workplace environment
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| (insidebayarea.com) |
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"Oooh, let's build a park in Dublin, oh, and maybe El Sobrante, and... what's that? Yeah, sure, let's put one within the closed portion of the Concord Naval Weapons Station. What could possibly go wrong?"
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Brother born first is actually second to sister because of daylight savings time
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CIA memos confirm terror suspects have been subject to worse frat pranks than previously mentioned
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Report shows that abstinence not curbing teen sex. Obvious tag asplodes
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| (insidebayarea.com) |
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Slow news day: In case you were wondering, there is a dense fog blanketing the San Francisco Bay Area. No, really
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Discovery lands safely. Pilot seems unable to parallel park it, however
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| (wzzm13.com) |
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Woman hits bar, misses deer, hits house, misses baby. Future plans include hitting jail, missing her family, hitting her cellmate, missing freedom
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China to build space station to study how lead toys affect children in low gravity
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How to properly show man love when your best buddy suddenly has a boob
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Researches conclude that looking someone in the eyes makes you more attractive to them; looking at their breasts still more fun, however
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Paris "latest ambassador to the preservation of all things worldly" Hilton warns the folks in India to lock up their booze so the elephants don't get loopy and kill themselves
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| (Some Guy) |
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Homeless man accused of breaking into church to use its phone to call sex lines. Again
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Behold the power of Fark: Fox gives credit to "Internet pundits" for tearing apart the report TSG ran yesterday on the poop drug. Hey Fox, it won't kill you to credit Fark once in awhile
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| (wbztv.com) |
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The NFL might be satisfied that there wasn't any extra noise during the Patriots-Colts game, but now a security guard at the RCA Dome says crowd noise is fed back into P.A. system
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The election results: Pat Boone's guy failed miserably, a philandering SF mayor beat a field of nutters while Philadelphia elected one, Oregonians won't smoke their way to healthier kids and Utah voters think vouchers are a bad idea
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Pat Robertson supports a pro-gay, pro-abortion, twice-divorced crossdresser for president
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| (Ohio.com) |
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Hunting with guns is for sissies. This is the guy that went mano-a-hoof with a snorting six-point buck, and he just had a hunting knife
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From the Department of It's About Time: Nick Hogan Bollea finally actually arrested for drag racing, crash. Let's see if he gets out of jail before lunch
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| (Some Air Force Guy) |
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Photoshop what these two airmen are really unveiling
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| (brain mysteries) |
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Research indicates dogs have some ability to read minds, which explains why your dog looks at you and nods every time you think about steak
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man arrested for breaking into a elementary school cafeteria and stealing $2.25
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