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| Sun August 26, 2007 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these men in black (and white)
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Georgia beats Japan with a walk-off homer to win the Little League World Series
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Man caught with his pants down after stealing porn magazine
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| (Arkansas News) |
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Other states following Arkansas' lead and banning smoking in cars where children six and under are present
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Behold, "Pete" the ugly-ass four-eared rabbit (with pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Self-described pedophile who says how he liked to stake out areas where little girls congregate is leaving California. "I have to leave the state, really, I can't live here under this Orwellian protocol"
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Sad, loveless Japanese singles follow their pathetic North American counterparts in turning their dogs into surrogate children
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Forget the war in Iraq - the real battleground gripping the U.S. is the right to dry laundry on clotheslines, and homeowners associations be damned
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| (Fred the Baker) |
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Dunkin Donuts goes 0% transfat. Doughnuts as health food? Yeah right
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Germaine Greer on plush toys: "Wherever they are, they are truly hideous, beyond kitsch. By making our children fall in love with such ugliness, we are preparing them for a life without taste"
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If you're driving around drunk, you should really try to avoid hitting a horse. Especially if there's a cop on it at the time
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| (My Fox Philadelphia) |
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Father says he chained 13-year-old son to bed to keep him out of trouble. Son released, father arrested. Son arrested very next day for vandalism, attempted car theft
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Today's story of poisonous toothpaste is brought to you by India. This time it contains antifreeze and bacteria. Take that, China
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Goombahs still running Chicago, "You's got a problem with that?"
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This is dummy text so I can check my color. This is dummy text so I can check my color. This is dummy text so I can check my color
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Your favorite beaches could soon be laced with crushed glass; Looks like someone's got glass in their vagina
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| (NBC5i) |
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Texas goes past "hot enough to cook on your dash" and makes it to "hot enough to make your lighter explode"
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Elian 2: Electric Boogaloo
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| (Some Racist) |
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And the award for the least appropriate name for an mp3 player goes to
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| (E & P) |
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Twelve lessons mainstream newspapers have learned after a decade of going online
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this chunk of old milk covered in delicious fungus and bacteria
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| (Blog Critics) |
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Zippo lighters the latest target of the Homogenization Conspiracy
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| (Consumer Affairs) |
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Use too much of your cable internet service, that's a one-year suspension. How much is too much? Well, Comcast still won't say
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| (WTVD) |
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81-year old man fends off armed teenage robbers, tells them to get off his lawn
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| (Some Guy) |
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Better get better binoculars there, Chester
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Government adds new tracking chips to $100 bills under the guise of micro-printing to thwart counterfeiters, like we're going to fall for that old trick
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| (StAugustine.com) |
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"Being a nude dancer or hustler for tips in a gentleman's club will steal your soul, piece by piece, without you even being aware of it." So says the Tool Box Goddess
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Suck it flatlanders, it's snowing in Colorado
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Man sues Tennessee government for overtaxing his marijuana/rice krispie treats
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Bird flu found at German poultry farm. JEDER VERSETZEN IN PANIK
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"She had sex with me and didn't tell me she has herpes, now I have it. Now she is up for a judicial position, do I reveal her dishonesty?"
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How George Bush pulled off the biggest heist in history
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The sixth, and last, hole to be drilled into the Huntington, Utah coal mine shows no void and extremely poor air quality
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| (Manseild News Jurnal) |
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Are there no proofreaders anymore?
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Over a hundred thousand people in the Midwest are without power this morning after high winds and heavy storms battered the region. Hey, didn't the global warming people mention something about "severe storms?"
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| (Loves car debate) |
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What? Another farking slidesh... ohhh, 10 ugliest cars. This should be fun
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Passenger tries to open plane door at 30,000 feet. Duct-tapilarity ensues
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Fark NYC - Red Hook Ball Fields - Sunday, Aug. 26th. LGT original thread. DIT
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| (Some Gal) |
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Photoshop theme: Have some fun altering a piece of classical art. Link goes to one example
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Why can't the most powerful nation on Earth capture the most wanted man in the world?
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An in-depth look at England's "weekend Nazis"
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Campaigning against what they say is widespread and unacceptable discrimination in the workplace and society, the American Moustache Institute (AMI) is vowing to restore well-tended facial hair to the noble status it enjoyed in the Seventies
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A mysterious illness is causing camels to sweat, vomit, faint and die. Marlboro Man wanted for questioning
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Bored teen whiles away afternoons making phony maydays to Coast Guard on stolen marine radios. Sailin', takes him away
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Animals from Sydney's Taronga Park Zoo will be moved across the harbour to a military-controlled island, so that the wives of APEC summit leaders can view them without all the riff-raff
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| (Some Guy) |
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The TSA collected over 22,000 lighters a day. That all ended Saturday
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Strippers expose counterfeiting operation, breasts
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| (Some Guy) |
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Can someone explain to me why sending information faster than light would violate causality?
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Internet campaign convinces the Cadbury Chocolate company to reintroduce that 1980's snack icon, the Wispa bar (pic)
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| Sat August 25, 2007 |
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Artist sets sail in life-size paper boat, gets stuck in giant drain grate
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Dog bites man. News: Man bites dog. Fark: Man bites girlfriend's snake and tells her it tasted lovely
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| (Some Guy) |
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That's no moon... it's a library
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Death toll from Greek fires continues to climb, Hephaestus still showing no mercy
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| (Pryor Daily Times) |
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Oklahoma kidnappers demand exhorbitant ransom of $350, almost don't get it because that's awful expensive
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| (Some Guy) |
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Miss Teen South Carolina explains why Americans have difficulty finding the United States on a world map
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Modern day Ghostbusters confirm that the Kansas Aviation Museum is haunted. "Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of Sloar that day I can tell you" says the chief scien... um... gatekeeper
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If police wrongfully accuse you of setting off fireworks, you should probably not use "I was dealing drugs" as your alibi
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| (Some Finn) |
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The most coveted prize of the sporting world stays in Finland after the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships draw to a close
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Russia's recent military muscle flexing in the form of observation flights using 50-year-old bombers is about as capable as they are in terms of military might
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Mickey D's goes for upscale snob effect in European remodel of company and franchised restaurants. Changes include fine furniture, relaxing environments, mad cow-free burgers and surrender fries
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| (Ars Technica) |
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Windows Genuine Advantage suffers worldwide outage. We're all pirates today
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| (Some Guy) |
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High school students suspended after violating dress code by wearing jacket and tie
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this busy Putin. Wink wink, nod nod
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How does a rising economic superpower celebrate its burgeoning ascendency? With beer... lots and lots and lots of beer
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| (Some fed-up libertarian) |
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Cops pull man over, search his car, find no drugs. They then take $23,000 from him and give it to the DEA. He now must prove the money didn't come from drug dealing. Thanks, War on Drugs
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Apparently, there's a section of the Koran that deals with hairstyling. Who knew?
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Pakistan test fires missle capable of carrying nuclear warhead. That'll help stabilize the region
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Maine man may have to give up his 'bee farm.' And his little tractors, little silo, little bee barn, and his teensy- tiny bee milking stool
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Nearly two-thirds of Internet news viewers dislike and distrust the mainstream media. Wait a minute... a third of us still trust Big Media? Inconceivable
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| (Some Guy) |
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Caption this confused gentleman
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| (Some Guy) |
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The top 10 must reads in literature. For once, they get #1 correct
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The latest menace to western society: KILLER SLUGS. Take this news with a pinch of salt
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Penny Lane, the road is closed down due to violence, two injured in a shooting at a bar, the gunman traveled via hatchback car, down to the bar
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Milwaukee running out of places to store its tainted sludge, wants to begin shipping it to Michigan. Michigan declines, says it already has enough Miller products
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Boy'z On Da Hood
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| (Some hep cat) |
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Another story seemingly written just for Fark: Cat "Acatemy" open in NYC
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| (Press Enterprise.com) |
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Little shoes to protect your pet's little footsies from hot pavement
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Plastic 'Diet Forks' available in packs of ten for $8.95. "The uncomfortable grip compelling user to put fork down between bites, slowing the user's eating speed"
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Introducing 'Wiggles' - human hair designer wigs ... for dogs (with ugly-ass 3-pic slideshow)
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Two Chinese farmers volunteer to rid Beijing of flies before the Olympics. The two have videotaped flies to better understand their prey and have arranged for a consultation by famed US varmint hunter Carl Spackler
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this kid playing on the couch
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Ten years after Great Britain banned handguns, the use of handguns to commit crimes has doubled
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Meet Chumbee, the world's first gigolo koala bear. "It has been almost non-stop sex in the koala enclosure ever since, and now even our own male is joining in"
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Moscow, Russia, residents celebrate the potato. Moscow, Idaho, residents say, "amateurs"
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Alcohol may lower risk of kidney cancer, let's drink to that
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I give you your 2007 Miss Teen USA (With kitten-threatening pic goodness)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Two KMart employees stealing electronics, fail to see security cameras. (with female mullet pic)
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| (Irish Examiner) |
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Couple sentenced to three months each for having sex on DART train, by the end of the story you'll find it just doesn't matter
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Nine year-old boy genius aces university entrance exams, about to get a ten-year head start on rejection
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Actual headline: "Mystic evacuated; cows die"
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| (The E-T) |
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This October a Massachusetts high school will begin charging students a dollar to ride the bus
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| (awful plastic surgery.com) |
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Did Fark's favorite gal get a boob job? They suspect, you decide
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| Fri August 24, 2007 |
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The Rocky Horror Star Trek Show
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| (News and Observer) |
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93-year-old charged with cocaine trafficking, with pic goodness
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Jerry Lewis: "Merv Griffin deserved to die"
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Photoshop these ladies rollerblading
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It's official: we can unequivocally declare that it wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that there isn't reason to not believe that Fidel Castro may or may not be dead (maybe)
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Man crashes motorcycle, lands in ditch. Survives 39 hours crawling on belly for water. Where is your Harley now?
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| (insidebayarea.com) |
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San Francisco area pot clubs shut down for being "dangerous enterprises". If bolstering the stock prices of Taco Bell and Nabisco is dangerous, submitter is Evel Knievel
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What kind of idiot would detonate homemade bombs inside a garbage can? The same kind of idiot that would do so while on probation and while also carrying marijuana
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AAA was in favor of $3,000 speeding tickets before it was against them
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| (KPHO) |
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Sex with homeless vampires is probably not a good idea
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| (Some Plaid Guy) |
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Today's 5-hour police standoff with an empty house brought to you by Hutchinson, KS
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Australia's $84 million porn filter cracked by student in 30 minutes
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| (News Groper) |
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MSNBC gets duped by parody website, quotes fake Al Sharpton as real
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NFL suspends Vick indefinitely: It's a dog-eat-dog world, and he's wearing MilkBone underwear
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| (Some tree hugger) |
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Environmental group throwing concert wants city to uproot 15 trees because they block the view of the stage
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Oh give me a curb, in a Colorado 'burb, where the dogs and the antelope play
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| (Metro) |
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Bikini mermaid fun disturbed by anarchist protestor sharks. No, really
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| (Bloomberg) |
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Remains of last Russian tsar's children believed found, although some believe these findings are Bolshevik
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"Excuse me, I'd like to buy your B-52"
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| (WAAY-TV) |
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Pissed off 19-year-old urges MySpace users to kill cops after his car is impounded. Hilarity ensues
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Man gets a 172 MPH speeding ticket in a rental car. In other news, there are rental cars that are capable of speeds faster than 37 mph
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Denver Catholic archdiocese decides that pilgrims can't have sects inside church
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"Police say the suspect hid inside a sweltering port-a-john on a hospital construction site until a police K-9 unit caught his scent and flushed him out." That's some fine metaphor work there, Lou
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| (insidebayarea.com) |
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Man charged with 14 counts of stalking and 3 counts of felony threats--to a list of people including "Star Trek" actress Jeri Ryan and a half-dozen wrestlers--declared mentally unfit to stand trial. Live long and stalk her
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Let's play a game called "Not It". Todays contestants are the Federal Government and the State of Maryland. Timer starts when the highway bridge begins crumbling
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17-year-old Bergen County Academies student in New Jersey achieves the dream, hacks the iPhone
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| (Dalton Daily Citizen) |
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Madness? "THIS IS MIDDLE SCHOOL"
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| (Maryland Coast Dispatch) |
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Two arrested in naked, drunken rodeo with wild horses and attempted nude deer tackling. Did we mention the deer are only three feet tall?
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People involved in coastal Australian developments need to be more aware of disturbing underwater artifacts that have not been found and may not exist
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Guys who look like cavemen are total chick magnets... and can save you a bundle of money on car insurance
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| (CentreDaily) |
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FedEx plane makes emergency landing due to pilot sniffing glue
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The oceans that were becoming less salty because of global warming are now becoming more salty because of global warming
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Le Farque. Photoshop what Fark.com might look like if it were hosted in France
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Finnish youth fined for putting singing teacher on YouTube. Maybe "Karaoke of the mental hospital" was an unfitting title
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| (Some Guy) |
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Problem: City denies liquor license for topless bar. Solution: Topless bar becomes full-nude strip club
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| (Charleston Daily Mail) |
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Teacher records colleague ranting and raving at students in classroom. Teacher is then charged with felony wiretapping. Thank you, Patriot Act, for protecting our great nation against these evil-doers
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| (North West Evening Mail) |
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Man recieves postcard from his missing wheelie bin telling him that it's alive and well and has eloped to Germany with a bin from down the road
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South African mayor wants his city's name changed because it translates to "bull's testicles". French Lick, Indiana, Intercourse, Pennsylvania and Crappo, Maryland unimpressed
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| (NBC13) |
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If you're going to shoot at an SUV at a red light, try to wait until a police officer is NOT right behind the car you're shooting
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Two words that never should go together: luxury lederhosen
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| (New York Sun) |
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NYC cabbies threaten to strike over a proposed law that would require GPS devices in their cabs. Subby's sure it's got nothing to do with the occasional cab driver taking tourists on a 10 mile trip to go from Times Square to 49th Street
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| (earthtimes.org) |
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Choy Ah Moy found dead in bed. The maid dismayed, cops said she fled. Found her, bound her, put her in a cell. 'Tis the last time she'll eat Taco Bell. *snap*
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Old and Busted: Swimsuit calendars. New Hotness: Men of the morgue (w/video)
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Marine drill instructor charged with 225 counts of abusing worthless maggots
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China declares war on tainted products. Democrats respond angrily, demand that China give sanctions more time to work
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Vick officially enters guilty plea, here is the full PDF of the plea agreement
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Man leaves dead mother in her armchair for two years. ABC finally learns where the one "According to Jim" viewer lives
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| (War) |
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Jet Li will kick your ass with style. (Sponsored Link)
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If you test positive for marijuana and work for the NYPD, be more creative than saying that your wife must have spiked your meatballs
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Activist displays his wrath, throws grapes at school board members
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Major League Baseball is selling NYY caps with gang symbol emblems in Harlem. NBA can't believe they didn't think of this first
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Do you know who else liked WW2 propaganda board games? Churchill, that's who
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Iraqi Intelligence Report states the obvious: the next six months should see the Iraqi government growing more stable and less sectarian. Nah, just kidding. It's going down faster than Lindsay Lohan at an after party
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| (NBC 30) |
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How to end up charged with a Class D terrorism felony while out for a jog
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| (Post-Gazette) |
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Apparrently, it's illegal for adult women to take a 12 year old boy to a whorehouse -- even if it's her treat. Who knew?
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When you're a member of the military and trying to "blog anonymously" about your wacko politics, it's best not to post your picture and description on your 'howtokillpeople.com' website
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| (Some Guy) |
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M5 V10 powered GT at Frankfurt. It's....it's beautiful
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| (Halifax Herald) |
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Woman claims discrimination after being forcefully introduced to local bar's "No Fat Chicks" policy
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That story about the Australian Prime Minister's office modifying Wikipedia entries? Yeah, the reporters got the IP address wrong and the office never modified anything
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The real reason Burning Man attendees are called "Burners?" The feeling they experience when they urinate
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Michael Vick's father says he asked Vick to stop the dogfighting, and that people should stop sugarcoating what Vick did. Suck it, NAACP
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Astronomers find "hole in universe." Voice of Ed Harris urges against exploring further
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| (Twins-Falls Times News) |
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Insurance company sends a private fire department to a wildfire zone in an effort to protect only the homes owned by their more wealthy clients
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British woman goes for weeks without showering, skincare products as an experiment. When asked how she felt, she replied "Je me sens très bien. Un peu graisseux, mais rien trop mauvais"
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| (WBZ-TV) |
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Patient dies after neurosurgeon operates on the wrong side of the man's brain. Family has half a mind to sue for malpractice
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Police profess participation as protestor poseurs
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Viagra makes men feel like cuddling. Yea, that's the ticket
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| (AM 900 CHML) |
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Man gets angry at bees buzzing his home, flicks lit cigarette at them which lands in the eaves trough, igniting leaves and twigs which leads to the entire home burning down. That'll larn those durn bees
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Fark's favourite astronaut wants tracker removed. Because it's not like she's going to drive cross-country wearing a diaper again
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Man decides that putting on pants is simply too much trouble just for a simple high-speed police chase
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Hell Pizza removes its billboard adverts that showed Adolf Hitler returning the Nazi salute with a piece of pizza in his hand. (with pic of the allegedly offensive billboard salute)
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Judge orders yet another shoplifter to walk around town wearing a large sign that says, "I stole from a local store." (pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Caption this confounded queen
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New documents show that the US has given troops permission to enter Pakistan without permission or notification of Pakistani government. This should end well
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The Big Mac turns 40, outliving many of its fans
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| (Some Girl) |
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Photoshop this space-station model thingy
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When calling the cops about the burglars on the roof, make sure you let them know you're not the burglar when they arrive
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Congregation cries and gasps in shock as husband-and-wife founders of 22,000-member megachurch announce they're getting divorced in middle of service
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| (Some Penguin) |
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Newspapers across the country refuse to print Opus comic to avoid offending Muslims
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| (WWdN:iX) |
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In desperate effort to complete Wheaton trifecta, Wil submits: Klingons Crossing the Delaware
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Jamba Juice employee may have served delicious smoothies with an added boost of Hepatitis A
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| (Some Guy) |
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Not News: Man has 21st child, News: He is 90. Fark: His current wife is his son's widow
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Prison guards ordered to knock on cell doors before entering "to show respect to inmates"
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| (Suomi Guy) |
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Wheelchair-bound nature lovers in Finland enjoy visit to bear country. Bears look forward to enjoying meals-on-wheels
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Wallace shooter set for release. Gromit left speechless
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When at swanky NYC health club, it's best that you request a private stationary bike. Need proof? Check out this unfortunate soul
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Guy worried about his weener size has his brother take his place after the lights are out. Oh yeah, that's a rape charge and an accessory to rape charge as well
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Border collie from Michigan that can open the fridge and flush the toilet has been named the most talented pet in the US. In other news, those two talents also place him ahead of most of the men in Michigan
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| (WATE-TV) |
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"You're getting sleepy. Verrry sleeeepy. You smell smoke...wait, I smell smoke"
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Ugly-assed baby gorilla born in war-torn Congo (w/ pic of it being kissed by its uggo mother)
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China searches for 17lbs of "missing" uranium. This will not end well
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Old and busted: Freeways. New hotness: Charging $25 to drive on a 40-year-old interstate
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Amy Winehouse in bloody hotel brawl with junkie husband (with pics)
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34-year-old Teacher who had sex with a 17-year-old student gives birth. OH DEAR GOD MY EYES
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Now that tattooing is legal in Key West again for the first time in 40 years drag queens with "meaty biceps" are lining up to get some ink. Oh yeah, there's a pic
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these guys in their flying boat
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| Thu August 23, 2007 |
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A South African mayor is pushing for a fresh title for one of the country's main municipalities which translates as "a pair of bull's testicles"
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| (QC Times) |
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Man burgles liquor store, bleeds to death from cut after breaking plate glass window. He did it wrong
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Man thinks he won lottery. Asks clerk to check. Clerk says no. Clerk takes ticket and claims the winnings. Jailarity ensures
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Like most people, Mother Teresa was an atheist but was too afraid to admit it
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To FAIL is to shoot yourself in the groin with your own gun. To truly FAIL is to get arrested for unlawful use of a weapon in doing so
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| (Some DUI) |
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Nicole Richie pays her debt to society in an hour and a half
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Giuliani hires the same GOP media people who made last year's Harold Ford "Where the white women at?" advertisement
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Oil prices down; gasoline prices up. Who says the system's not upside down?
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Does the South Korean democracy have room for a 107th candidate, or are 106 enough?
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Man robs another man at gunpoint, then shoots him in the leg. His big haul? $3.00
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Unsatisfied with $208 million jackpot, Wisconsin cheese-factory employees win lottery again
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U.S. officials seize a submarine off the Guatemalan coast carrying supplies to Lindsey Lohan
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| (LA Weekly) |
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Goth Day at Disneyland: When the happiest place on Earth hosts the saddest people on Earth, and the line for the Haunted Mansion is longer than ever
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| (Washington Times) |
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Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez tries to smuggle $800,000 in cash to political friends in Argentina, gets caught. Guess whom he blames. Here's a hint: It rhymes with Benighted Plates
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Televangelist who speaks about female empowerment beaten in parking lot by husband. Who Would Jesus Duel?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these shoppers
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| (Some Agent) |
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Improv Everywhere freaks out downtown NYC tourists with its latest MP3 experiment
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Purchasing ecstasy ingredients on eBay using your PayPal account and email address "freebasing@hotmail.com" may make the case against you stronger
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This guy picked the wrong night to take up streaking
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And I bet you thought Bono already had an inflated sense of self worth. (with creepy pic goodness)
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| (webbalert) |
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Morgan Webb says "penetration" three times in today's WebbAlert video blog
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| (WGAL) |
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The Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture has no idea how mercury and glass shards got into a bag of chicken fingers and then into the mouths of children, but they say that's no reason to stop sales of the product
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United States: Call 911; wait too long for police and an ambulance. Venezuela: Call emergency; no one shows up at all. Put corpse in taxi and send it to the morgue
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Los Angeles Farkin' Pirate Party this Saturday, me mateys
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Job-site feud erupts into nail-gun shooting
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Newspaper catches hell for portraying Jesus as the Marlboro man
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Scotland lifts livestock movement ban. Scots rejoice, make immediate plans to visit their girlfriends
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| (wsb-am) |
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Neal Boortz, Clark Howard and others are raising money again for the Aflac Cancer Center for kids
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Despite conventional wisdom, many bloggers do real journalism. Examples include stories such as "Scientists Determine My Cat is World's Cutest" and "Asshat Boyfriend Fails to Remember Local Woman's Birthday"
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Oprah, Paris Hilton subpoenaed in Detroit record producer's lawsuit alleging racial discrimination at Canadian border crossing
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Basic drug-dealing rule No. 1: Don't be so easy to describe that the cops will find you 10 minutes later at the corner 7-Eleven. With mugshot
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| (Charleston Daily Mail) |
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We've all wanted to stab ourselves while standing in line at the airport, but most of us don't go through with it
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Officials spent the day yesterday trying to determine how a Chula Vista business park had treated sewage flowing from its water taps for two years
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Wheaton to deliver keynote speech tomorrow at PAX. When was the last time a Wheaton trifecta was in play? When "Star Trek" was still good
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From the This-Should-End-Well Department: News channel adds on-air chat room with female anchor
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| (The Local) |
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Top Swedish politician accidentally comes out of the closet on Facebook. Daughter pushes him back in
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| (Daily Herald) |
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New law regarding police training will allow police to know how to handle a suspect who counts toothpicks really fast
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| (KPTV) |
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Campers capture creepy peeper lurking about women's crapper, tie him to tree for that special picture
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Latest Japanese geek fetish? One-eyed virginal maid mummies
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If an armed society is a polite society and everyone in Orlando is rude, what could possibly go wrong when half of Orlando is armed?
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Like her soul, Leona Helmsley gets roasted at her funeral
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| (Some dude, man) |
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Dreadlocked hippie on trial for bringing pot plant to courthouse as "evidence"
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The penis-pump judge and speeders all have something in common
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| (Caledonian Record.com) |
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Good news: Someone found your cell phone and turned it in to the police for you. Bad news: You left the pictures of your marijuana-growing operation on it
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Copyright infringement lawsuit over sanitary pads finally coming to an end after a long period
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| (Rocky Mountain Collegian) |
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As college students begin fall semester, it's important to remember the essentials: Pencils, notebooks, calculator, mongoose
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| (Some Guy) |
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Naked dancing man on downtown street evades police
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Two women charged with "outraging public decency" after flashing their boobies at a CCTV camera that swivelled in their direction at beach. Pics? Why, yes, there are
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| (Some Guy) |
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Hayden Panettiere now owns countless hours of cheerleader porn courtesy of fans after quip on Letterman
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| (TV Scoop) |
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Director who brought you "My Penis and I" is ready to direct his next penis-related project for the BBC
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Japanese man gives the prime minister the finger. Literally
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| (Elmira Star-Gazette) |
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Police say that they still don't know why the naked guy was climbing the cliff before he fell, but they'd like to announce that he's getting better
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| (NY Daily News) |
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WABC welcomes back Bob Grant, fired under pressure from Al Sharpton, et al. 12 years ago for a comment made after then-Commerce Secretary Ron Brown was killed in a plane crash. In other news, Imus to return to WFAN in 2019
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| (Metro) |
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Carnival parade entry features burkha-clad "Muslim Page 3 pin-ups" such as Miss Sleptwithajudgistan and Miss Hairyassisbadistan
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| (Some gal) |
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...and finally, the latest in technology for your child: The Toddler Taser
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Colombian reality show rewards dirtiest sex
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| (Ft. Worth Star Telegram) |
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You can't just go around slapping the firm asses of 18-year-old women, even if you are a police officer performing a traffic stop
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| (Nashville Scene) |
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Why lap dances are illegal in Nashville, but group sex is just fine
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Georgia: "Stop sending warplanes across our border." Russia: "What warplanes?" Georgia: "Those. The ones dropping the missiles." Russia: "Grow up. You're hallucinating"
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| (Huzzah!) |
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Photoshop this Grand Wizard
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The country of Vietnam would like to say a few words about Bush comparing it to Iraq
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A moose warmed my climate once. No really, it was standing there belching and ...
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| (Some Cracker) |
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White man wins $150,000 in reverse discrimination suit against black former boss who called him "stupid white boy, cracker and polack"
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Wil Wheaton indicted for running robot fighting ring
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| (Mail Tribune) |
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Police arrest three ninjas after months-long crime spree. Naturally, police suspect the boys were trying to be just like that icon of the ninja community, Jackie Chan
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State reverses itself, says drivers will still be required to have auto insurance after October 1st. Or maybe not. They're not really sure. Just stay out of any wrecks for awhile to be safe
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Nashville schools may have to use snow days because of the heat
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Britain suffering shortage of midwives because so many are knocked up and are being counted on the demand side rather than the supply side
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| (metro.co.uk) |
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Thinking about having a drink, citizen? You must leave the area for 48 hours, or face prosecution for thoughtcrime. Welcome to Airstrip One
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Chicken owner pays £2,000 to remove his pet's leg, because you can't eat a chicken that great all at once
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Ugly-ass two-headed cow born in California. With pic
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| (Metro) |
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Boy charged for tossing his sausage
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Not news: Man swims 18 kilometers across the Strait of Gibraltar. News: Completes swim in six hours, 20 minutes. Fark: The man has no arms
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| (lohudmoms.com) |
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Ten "must have" college dorm necessities
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If you recently bought "salmon" from Thailand, yeah, you're dead. Hope you have Larry King reading the Bible on cassette to get you through to morning
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| (Some Guy) |
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Two stupid South Carolina students stupidly suspended for having stupid haircuts
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New study determined Toronto is the most boring place in Canada - and that's saying something
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Feds to try deporting 60 gang members. They were here to bust caps in your ass that American gangsters wouldn't
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Photoshop this covered boater
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Israel's only crematorium burns to the ground
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| (KPHO-TV) |
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A 23-year-old woman is accused of trying to kill her estranged husband by stabbing him in the chest with a kitchen knife while they were having sex, officers said
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Exposed boxer shorts and thongs may soon be illegal in Atlanta. Some are already complaining that the proposed law is racist and will promote racial profiling
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Happy 400th, Texas
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| (Farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 120: Photograph boats: Barges, ocean liners, tugboats and other watercraft capable of carrying people. Difficulty: No bath or pool toys. Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
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| Wed August 22, 2007 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Fox News' drumbeat for war with Iran is eerily similar to its drumbeat for war with Iraq. With side-by-side comparison goodness
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Unmarried and single people continually discriminated against, own lots of cats
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China Airlines officials deal with exploded jet wreckage in professional manner: They paint over the "China Airlines" name and logo on the plane to limit PR damage (with before/after photos)
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Rare pregnant rhinoceros at Australian Zoo dies after eating 19 gallons of sand
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Most popular dog name: Max. Most popular cat name: Max
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This may go down as one of the greatest shellackings in baseball history
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| (WBZTV) |
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Firefighters rescue 6 cats from house fire (with free-falling feline photo)
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National Intelligence Director Mike McConnell comfirms it: "AT&T: Your World. Delivered. To The Government."
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RIP Weekly World News -- The critical buzz on the tabloid's demise
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Actual Headline: Smoking bans reduce smoking
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| (some number countin' guy) |
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Wii officially outsells Xbox 360 and PS3. Suck it, HD loving FPS playing basement dwelling pimple sporting dweebs. The senior citizens have spoken, and they want their bowling
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| (Some Guy) |
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John Elway is now a high school football coach
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| (wfmz.com) |
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Rottweiler has soft spot for kitten. Surprisingly it's not her stomach. Your dog wants a ball of yarn (w/pic goodness)
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The. Worst. Article. Topic. EVAR
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"OMFG Vick killed dogs let's lock him up" "What do we do with the leftover dogs?" "Oh those? Just kill them."
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"Barbie Bandit" pleads guilty to theft, being totally hittable (w/crying pic goodness)
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Theme: Uncover the super secret photographic evidence that "they" don't want us to see
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That bridge collapse in Minneapolis? Yup, it was caused by pigeon poop
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City folks moving to farming town threaten to sue for their "right" to rural peace because of animal noises
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That story about drug testing an entire city by using sewer water? Yeah well, the Brits did it two years ago. Bonus: Findings suggested cocaine use in London were 15 times higher than official estimates
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The 10 best foods you aren't eating. Silly me, how have I passed up the goji berries at Kroger all these years?
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41% of Americans still think invading Iraq was a good idea
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The bad boys of rock-n-roll in trouble again. Drugs? Nope. Underage groupies? Nope. Tax evasion? Nope. Smoking on stage... yep, the Fun Police are in action once again
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Two kids find out the only frisbees that weigh 13 pounds are made by BLAM-O
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Today's bullshiat made-up medical problem: "E-stress: A chronic condition caused by checking one's email too often."
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Redheads expected to be extinct somewhere between 2060 and 2100. Farkers everywhere inconsolable
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Lawyer argues that client who took photo up woman's skirt did nothing wrong because ... wait for it ... there's no expectation of privacy in a public place
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Future Fark party in Brattleboro, Vermont?
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| (Some Blogger) |
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Blogs should get the same protections as high quality journalistic endeavors such as TV Guide, Redbook, and Maxim
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| (YNet News) |
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Israeli porn websites report up to 10 percent of their clicks are from Muslim countries. Favorite galleries: "Miss Rachel disciplines the very naughty Arab serving girl"
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59-year old makes Division III college football team. Better not step on his lawn
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Sergeant suspects witches vandalized Palm Springs home, turning chairs upside down and hanging pictures backwards. Really? Witches?
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State legislator apologizes to local NAACP chapter for feeling so intimidated by "stocky black man" that he had to offer him $20 for sex
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| (The Olympian) |
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Headline: "What cleavage tells the world about a woman's brain." This has potential
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| (Charleston Daily Mail) |
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Parent of the Year candidates arrested for forcing daughter to fight schoolmate. When mom pulled the pair apart because precious was losing and started using her as a weapon, things got weird
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So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
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| (WJAR) |
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Man convicted of embezzling $12 million currently making restitution payments of $75 a month, will have debt paid off in 13,000 years
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Tired of falling behind in the race to see who can abuse their patients the most, VA hospital in Los Angeles dumps patients on Skid Row just like private hospitals do
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Nope, I was just delivering this overpass and ran outta gas"
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| (Shreveport Times) |
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Introducing the new Huggies 3000. Absorbs 10 times its own weight in methamphetamine
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If you're gonna cheat on your wife, be sure she doesn't have access to DNA testing materials at work
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War Child Canada makes hoax ads for children's summer camp featuring activities such as grenade toss, firing AK-47s on the range, and getting shot full of drugs to make you obedient. Best. Camp. Ever
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| (Some Dumb Journalist) |
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Young, ugly reporter writes a column comparing his impending marriage to getting hit by a bus. His soon-to-be ex-fiancée unavailable for comment
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Sick of your little bastards dumping stuff into your cart at the grocery store? Take back the power with eBay
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Jonathan Papelbon invents a new pitch, names it after Bea Arthur
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"You know, from what I understand, dogfighting is a sport. It's just behind closed doors." -- Stephon Marbury. So just for the record, illegal + closed doors = legal
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| (Charleston Gazette) |
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Powerball winner Jack Whittaker is back in court. Could settle issue for $500, but is looking to protect his good name on principle
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Sketching a picture of a laser gun in your middle school class? That's a suspendin'
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Progressive Insurance keeps your rates low by infiltrating your church meetings and support groups
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Asshat (who robbed Subway then apologized) comes back a week later, robs them again and apologizes again
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RAF jets scrambled to counter Russian threat. No, this is not a repeat, and no, you haven't gone back in time
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Purdue University pays $500,000 settlement to parents of genius who got drunk and thought a high-voltage electrical utility room was a door into the dorm
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So Bill Murray's got driving a golf cart drunk going for him. Which is nice
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Friends organizing a "fake wake" for an 80-year-old friend dismayed that they have to cancel it because he died
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| (Some Guy) |
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Virginia's drunk driving deaths increased by 16.1 percent -- which is nothing compared to the Mormon state of Utah's 63.6 percent increase. Where is your Jehovah now?
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| (bangkokpost.com) |
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Sucky: Having a heart attack. Suckier: Dying from it. Duke-level suckage: Being found dead wearing 15 bras and a mini-skirt
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| (Some Guy) |
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A Catholic priest facing federal charges for: A) Bank fraud, wire fraud and money-laundering? B) Diddling little boys? C) Eating meat on Fridays? Or C) Having hookers and blow in his confessional?
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How a (now former?) Fox employee failed to hack Fark. Subpoenas on deck, BTW
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The Fight Card for WWIII is begining to take shape. It looks like it'll be a tag team match with China and Russia on one side, and Japan, Australia, India and the U.S. on the other
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Self-proclaimed pedophile blogger released from L.A. jail, now available for boots to the head
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Woman, 102, could be world's oldest recording artist. When asked about her secret to longevity, she replied, "Snorting my dad's ashes"
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Headline of the day: "Monk dies in freak mower accident"
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Porn star takes the name "China Barbie," proceeds to get the lead out in movies, such as "Me Luv You Long Time" and "Ethnic Cheerleaders 8." For some reason, Mattel has a huge honkin' problem with this
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| (Fair dinkum) |
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Welcome to Australia, where indoor plumbing is a fairly new phenomenon even for members of parliament
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Retirement city to hold first annual erotic-art show. Highlights include shuffleboard sex toys
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Young boy who has eight months to live will be evicted because he has dogs that were given to him as a gift
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this early morning subway scene
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| (Post-Gazette) |
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McDonald's opens museum to honor Big Mac, perpetuate charade that "special sauce" isn't just Thousand Island dressing
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Uganda trifecta in play as Ugandans demonstrate against gays. Because Uganda dosn't have any more pressing issues than gays. Uganda
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Maybe starting a bikini lawn service in the Bible Belt was not such a good idea
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L.A. Times solves the mystery of those UFO videos on YouTube. OR HAVE THEY?
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Woman who hasn't heard from her mother in five years sees her on a TV program called "Filthy Rich and Homeless"
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Veteran: I got the Medal of Honor in combat in Vietnam, here's my proof. Federal investigators: O RLY?
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British tycoon "too busy" to bother getting his $160k car out of impound over $10k in fines. In related news, the Brits seem to have some kickass towing methods (pic)
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Record numbers of Britons leaving the UK permanently, seeking cheaper housing, sunnier skies, dentists
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| (Inside Higher Ed) |
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Illinois State University business school threatens to kick out business students who don't come to class in "business casual." Hey, if the liberal-arts students have to wear their future business attire to class, so do you
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| (Some Guy) |
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Unlike his namesake, Hurricane Dean appears capable of reorganizing and making a pretty effective second run
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Bush to invoke Vietnam in defending Iraq. Because that one worked out so well
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Iraq crash kills 14 U.S. soldiers
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Taliban fanatics taunting British soldiers' wives over the soldiers' cell phones. Taunts include the popular "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." The Sun is there vicariously
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Your Xbox 360 gets too hot -- what do you do? A) Turn it off? B) Point a fan at it? Or C) Set in it a pan of water?
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| (The Moscow Times) |
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When a woman sets your loins afire it's usually a good thing. Not for this poor sap
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Banning public smoking will be the end of English literature
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British nurses banned from wearing their uniforms outside hospitals for some damn reason or another. Whatever. Anyway, article comes complete with pic of NILF
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| (Daily Mail) |
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BBC anchorwoman causes a stir by showing "shapely calves" on Newscast. Don't they have The Naked News in Britain?
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| (wvrecord.com) |
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Pissed off inmate sues jail after crappy toilet collapses while he was sitting on it; is probably shiat out of luck
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| (Some Guy) |
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Once again, the Canine of Peace strikes on innocents. Your dog has had about enough of this
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Kinda News: Forest fire in California. News: Becomes second-largest state wildfire in modern history. Fark: It's been burning since July 4th
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New DNA mapping test allows you to identify what diseases you'll get 30 years from now. You might as well know about it - your insurance company sure as hell does
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| (Some Guy) |
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I shot an arrow in the air / Where it fell I know not where / But the fact that it's now stuck in my brother / Suggests I've got one problem or another
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| (Some Guy) |
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Sabotage this automobile race, you dastardly photoshoppers
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