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| Sun January 21, 2007 |
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Forget the Chrysler Building, one anxious developer is going ahead with plans to build America's 5th-tallest skyscraper in Nashville, Tennessee - wait, where?
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U.S. AIDS group sues Pfizer, claiming it promoted Viagra as a "recreational sexual enhancement drug." Lawyers for drug company vow they will mount a stiff defence
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Canada to spend 25 million to preserve rainforest in British Columbia
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Copies of Constitutional papers missing, Sandy Berger immediately sought for cavity search
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"Collector" pays $5.5 million for rare Shelby Cobra; chuckles and lights cigar with $100 bill as he drives past some starving children
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Boy steals ice cream at school. Boy grows up, returns to scene of his crime and lays free ice cream on students to atone for his sin. Future plans include atonement for the KY he stole from the high school nurse's office
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Man attacks boy with ORANGE
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Step #1 - Run personal errands instead of driving your bus route. Step #2 - Call the cops and say you were hijacked by some punk with a gun. Step #3 - Get away with it? No, get busted and wind up on FARK
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The new must-have fashion for men are... leggings? (with fabulous pic)
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Would-be car theft victim hops on back of own truck, beats thief with trowel at 70mph, eventually ties him up with zip ties. Comments, "Don't take a guy's Ford pickup."
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One of the hidden health benefits of PMITA Prison: Inmates are living longer on average than people on the outside
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Sinking tanker dumps perfume, battery acid, and car parts (aka "A Redneck's Saturday Night") all over Devon coast. Music about lyin' wimmens and pickup trucks being rushed to scene
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Cool rooms in Vegas you can't afford (pics)
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Woman gets drunk during jury service because she was anxious about serving
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| (Aero-news) |
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Bad: Telling immigration service you are the prince of Sweden. Worse: getting arrested and spending the night in jail. Fark.com: you really ARE the prince of Sweden
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Woman induces pregnancy a few days early so husband can go to championship NFL game. Doctors said the baby would be healthy, and now hubby can cheer the Bears
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| (Some Guy) |
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Drunk passes out in church, gets locked in, uses church bell to sound out SOS in Morse Code to summon help because he was terrified of ghosts. "It was all quite funny really," observes neighbor
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| (Some Guy) |
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Latest UPS ad campaign uses song by a band called The Postal Service
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CNN auctions Hummer for charity, nets $1.25MM. Unclear whether it will be administered by Nancy Grace or Larry King
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| (New Kerala) |
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Praise the Lord and Allah Akbar, Muslims and Christians finally unite...to protest government yoga program
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Da Bears move the chains to the superbowl
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Extra-terrestrials have yet to find us because they haven't had enough time
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81 year-old man gets visit from Secret Service, after his letter-to-the-editor referring to Saddamn Hussein said 'they hung the wrong man'
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Reporter tries to live a day without interacting with a live human face-to-face. Should have joined Fark
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Continental pilot dies mid-flight. Stale airline peanuts don't seem like such a big deal now, do they?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this gray-skinned guy
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If you have employer provided health insurance President Bush wants to tax your benefit. At least he never said "Read my lips..."
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| (Some Scientist) |
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Some guy has a sound file that makes you awake. Folgers ready to file lawsuit
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| (Some Guy) |
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Stupid warning labels
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Today's tech startups differ from the dot-bomb-era startups in that they're a bunch of tightwads. In other words, just like regular companies
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How to hunt elk in the northwest. 1. place hay bales to attract the elk. 2. shoot elk while they are gathered eating the hay. 3. tell nature-loving public to go suck an egg
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these two highly intelligent kids
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| (Some PS Contest Winner) |
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Professional Photoshopper shows the difference between reality and Maxim
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| (Some Guy) |
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Doctor's warn skate shoes can be dangerous
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All your base are belong to Lenin
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| (Some Guy) |
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How to solve Rubik's Cube
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| (Some Guy) |
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Big Brother's new toy can watch over a circle of countryside 600 miles in diameter, and they are building eleven of them. With high-res cameras, that could mean constant surveillance of every square inch of American soil
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| (Some Guy) |
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27 Million Square Feet Added in China for Shopping in last 2 Years
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| (Gambling 911) |
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If you're in the U.S., and you've played online poker for money, expect the DOJ to come knocking any day now
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Top 20 Myths of Science
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| (Biz Journals) |
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Because people feel generous after being gouged by fees, Wells Fargo enables charitable donations at ATMs
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| (Some Guy) |
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Supplies needed for Austin homeless..Like, you know, bus tickets out of town
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Canada's newest export to the U.S. - the Pillow Fighting League
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these snowflakes
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Sex appeal is now the major selling point for Hong Kong's professional English tutors. Van Halen unavailable for comment
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| (KillSomeTime (Game)) |
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Defend a dead tree (I don't know why). Fairly addicting game, but a bit short
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I gave my dog steak. Now he's busy throwing up everywhere. Gee, thanks Fark
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| (engadget.com) |
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Human-sized Gundam assembled by Maru family (w/ pic of whatever the heck a Gundam is)
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A mentally ill man walks into a car dealership with $30k. The salesman refuses to sell him a car and gets help for the man. Just kidding. Actually the salesman sells him a car, gets him to sign it over and then it gets weird
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Japan introduces new water jet cutters capable of cutting through a 2 cm steel plate, to rescue accident victims when there's a risk of fire
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| (Some Wino) |
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Farker looking for good wines under $15 - getting bored with my same old standbys. LGT one of my favorites
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| (Some Guy) |
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Five strange vending machines
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| Sat January 20, 2007 |
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EMT has heart attack in his paramedics class
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Drunk man rescued from chimney after ghost investigators discover source of repeated haunting chants of "please don't start the fire"
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| (WSPA) |
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Deer craves pickles and wonderously cheesy reporting
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| (IHT) |
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Man who tried to commit suicide in Mexico City beaten to death by police
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Soon to be seen in the Wal-Mart toy department: the Steve Irwin action figure. Evil stingray sold seperately. Crickey
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| (New Straits Times) |
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Woman answers cell phone while under umbrella in thunderstorm, achieves instant enlightenment
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More men using straight razors to feel manly, smooth as a baby's butt
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People who are trying to revive worship of the Greek Gods: "We will issue a call for peace, who can be opposed to that?"
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Photoshop these virtual businessmen
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Google still on spending spree. They must have a lot of money, or something
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Amish teenagers do go through a period where they sew [sic] their wild oats, so to speak, and put the fuzzy dice and boom boxes in them... Every so often in the police blotters up here you'll see a complaint about a buggy with music playing
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| (Some Cat) |
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How to Make a Snow Cat
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| (Some Guy) |
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The top 25 most delicious types of milk chocolate
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New dollar coin available first to Houston and Chicago's panhandlers
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Big Oil welcomes Texas' contribution to the war on global warming: Putting a 18 lanes-wide big ass highway where a commuter train rail line was supposed to be built
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Yet another violent domestic attack involving a sword. When are they going to enact sword control laws?
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| (Skyscraper City) |
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The most beautiful photos of Mexico you will see today. Simply amazing
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| (Telegraph) |
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"Entire village suspected of mayor's murder." And you thought your mayor was unpopular
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McDonalds open up first drive-thru restaurant in China
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| (KXAS.com) |
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Asshat breaks into a house, homeowner shows him where the can of whoopass is
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| (Knee Dragger) |
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The MV Agusta F4CC Motorcycle. Yours for only $120,000.00 USD. Yep, you read that right
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While they can be cool on a fevered brow, railroad tracks do not really make a good pillow
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ugly ass howler monkey born in the Pittsburgh Zoo (w/pic)
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Guide to Seattle's new $85 million, nine acre Olympic Sculpture Park
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| (Some Guy) |
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Google ends ceasefire with Ebay, Paypal
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Fast food easier to find than healthful fare, study says. Still no cure for Ric Romero
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Midwest forms into crude, giant Baskin-Robbins cake... Al Gore unavailable for comment
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TFette has a question about going to a bar to read a book. LGN
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Woman wants court to give her $28,000 a month in child support payments
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Drunken fool trips, crashes through window, falls sixteen stories into an awning. Only injury a broken leg. Overheard mumbling "TA-DA" while being loaded into the ambulance
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Duck shot by Florida hunter survives 2 days in refrigerator, Florida and Weird tag synonymous
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Hillary Clinton announces presidential bid, I for one, welcome our new Female Overlord
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Novell launches Linux-vs.-Vista comparison site. Mac OS users remain smug as always
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The most amazing comet images everrrr
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News crew is there as Cuban rally becomes Cuban streetfight
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ugly ass baby sun bear makes debut at Wellington Zoo. (w/pic)
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Bandits dress as women to foil detection. It was probably the beard that gave them away
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More than half of Americans now live in places with extensive bans on smoking. Lung cancer surrenders
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| (Bradenton.com) |
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Slow news day and the fair is in town, let's talk corn dogs
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| (Some Wiki) |
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It's not just Hollywood that's out of ideas, a cover version of Eddie Murphy's Party All The Time made it to the charts in the UK
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Teen arrested at Chuck E. Cheese's for trying to pick up women. With mugshot goodness
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Experts call sharks misunderstood fish, cite popular shark 12-step group. "Fish are friends, not food"
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| (Kuensel online) |
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Bhutan runs out of whisky and Tiger beer. There will be a minute of silence at the next Fark Party
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| (Khaleej Times) |
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Rio prostitutes' fashion line hits street catwalk, makes it even harder to tell the working girls from non-working girls
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| (SunJournal.com) |
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Only 3 Ho Jos left
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They're dead, now you're a deadbeat. Judges slaps restraining order on OJ Simpson's book advances; OJ owes over 33 million in '97 Goldman lawsuit
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OSHA has fined a Maine construction company $4,000 because a roofer wasn't wearing his hardhat when he was killed. How that would have prevented him from being electrocuted is anyone's guess
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It's all well and good to say you'll increase troops in Iraq by 21,000 but where are those additional soldiers going to come from?
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New Internet phenomena dubbed 'Silver Surfers' consists of the deranged elderly spewing bile on blogs and yelling at punks to get off their goddamn e-lawns
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is Penguin Awareness Day
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| (wow!) |
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First pics of Boeing's new 747-8 interior
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U.S. helicopter crashes northeast of Baghdad, killing all thirteen people on board
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| (Some Freezing Guy) |
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Photoshop these icy tree branches
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| (Some Audio Geek) |
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AudioEdit a radio commercial for a TV network's lame Thursday night line-up
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Teen's sword picture can go in yearbook. There can be only one
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Feeling hungry? The five best places to get a hot dog
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Two teens in unrelated stabbing incidents both chose scissors as their weapon of choice, in what police say were clean-cut cases of unlawful wounding
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| (Some Guy) |
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Top ten most downloaded files of the past ten years: Alexa Toolbar suspiciously absent
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man fights fire with fire, house burns faster."I guess it's just an expression," said Moore after assisting his house to ashes
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| (Xinhua) |
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Been drinking a lot of coffee and feeling a little bit taller? No longer, you drug cheat - Starbucks takes growth hormone out of it's milk
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Hippo eats zebra. Only in Kenya (pics)
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1. Fall through a pub floor, put video on the internets. 2. ??????? 3. Popularity11eleventy
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Photoshop this professor and his doomsday clock
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It's not every day that you see a racehorse ignite an errant army flashbang with its hooves during a race, but this happens to be that day (pics)
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| (Some Guy) |
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From the mind of blitzed farmers: Marinate the steak while it's still on the cow
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| (Some Guy) |
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Average IQ world map: Explains the dearth of Australian chess champions recently
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| (WTHR Channel 13) |
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Red Gold V. Heinz
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The next really big thing: Digital billboards; skinjobs
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Hugh Hefner, 80, planning on starting new family with live-in girlfriend. Reportedly can't wait for baby to be born, so he can stop yelling at plastic flamingos to get off his lawn
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| (Some Guy) |
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If I had 100 hours to waste, and 100 chimpanzees to train in Tae-Bo, do you think my Billy Blanks trained gorillas could beat up 100 people in a fair fight? Or would they just get a great workout?
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Birth-Control Doughnuts Whoo Hoo
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| (Some Guy) |
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1. Jack up nicotine content of cigarettes 2. Increase price 3. Profit
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Crew member on set of Tom Hanks movie critically injured in an accidental mortar explosion. No word on if he'll get to meet the President. Again
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Seventeen kids ages 9 to 19 are accused of injecting their sheep with a "muscle-enhancing substance" to gain an advantage at the county fair. Those slutty sheep were just beggin for it
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If you're going to rob someone's house, don't leave your SSN card and bail receipts behind
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man sick of bank owing him money and not paying up send in bailiffs to seize its computers, fax machines and loose cash
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| (NBC) |
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What do George Bush, Paula Abdul, Terri Hatcher and Kelly Ripa have in common? Yep they were cheerleaders
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Today's woman found living with 104 dogs brought to you by Palmdale,CA
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Panhandler ditches "Will Work For Food" sign for much more successful "Why Lie Need Beer" (w/ pic of him checking his cell phone)
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Spider ship (lots of pics)
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| Fri January 19, 2007 |
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SARS and bird-flu were mere childsplay. PVL-MRSA is the new killer hawtness. Everybody PANIC
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Instead of moving out during the divorce, why not just build a wall to split the place in two?
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World's newest oldest living women is a 114 year-old Connecticutian whose parents were former slaves
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Mom of the year arrested for arranging an alcohol-soaked slumber party for her 15-year-old daughter and her friends (with horrifying mug shot)
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| (Some Guy) |
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US Navy tests new railgun cannon. Capt. Avatar chuckles, powers up the wave motion gun
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Police baffled by fugitive who's been putting knickers on street signs all over town
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| (Some Believer) |
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Photoshop theme: Photoshop a UFO hoax
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"Grandpa" very upset at learning the 12 yr old boy he'd been "fostering" was actually 29
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Buckets of animal blood will be dumped in the Amazon river to distract the piranhas, snakes, crocodiles and sharks for the 3,375 mile swim Slovenian Martin Strel has decided to undertake
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Middle school library has a book about a girl who flirts with her teacher and ends up with him in a hot tub. School district says the book is popular with students and will remain
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Mamas and Papas member dead at 66. Asinine tag for AP writer who perpetrates urban legend of Mama Cass' death involving a sandwich
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Research Institute for Advanced Fearmongering releases a groundbreaking study on the dangers of (wait for it...) raindrops
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Man kills grandmother because they could not agree on what TV program they wanted to watch. Rumor has it the grandmother wanted to watch FarkTV
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Tokyo Disneyland found using old cheese at their restaurants. May also be guilty of using dead cows in their burgers
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As if we didn't have enough to worry about with Iraq, Iran, North Korea, Hugo Chavez, global warming and Roberty Downey Jr. as Iron Man, there's now a resurgence of French-Canadian terrorism
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Latest trend for overly-ambitious parents: Potty training three-month olds
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Mona Lisa grave found, claims scholar. Robert Langdon to investigate
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| (News4Jax.com) |
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Parents of the year, Rhonikki and Epluribus, charged with killing their 1 year old daughter Zykira
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Canadian spy coins revealed by government to be a hoax...sure, and Elvis is dead and Liberace was straight. I guess it really 'aint just a river in Egypt
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Cemetery company warns that if family doesn't pay up, Aunt Mabel, Uncle Fred, Gramma Edith and Grampa Joe will be evicted
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2 charged with hacking into L.A.'s Traffic Center. Like the submitter, they just really wanted a green light
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Florida has become so expensive, that even New Yorkers can't afford to live there anymore
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Kidnapped boy amazed to find his room exactly as he left it 4 years ago. Admits he does wish mom would have washed the dirty underwear but doesn't want to nitpick
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Judge rules that digital audio recorders are not synonymous to cassette tape recorders with regards to "fair use" laws, thereby opening companies that offer such devices to lawsuits by record companies
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According to the Centers for Disease Control, one in eight households do not have a land-line telephone. In other news, the Centers for Disease Control is conducting surverys about phones
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Autistic teens must testify in case against teacher. Here comes the silence
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You're not going to have much luck collecting unemployment if you were fired for using the company computer to keep a journal documenting your proficiency at avoiding work
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| (Some Guy) |
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NH pot legalization legislation introduced by Congressman Weed
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Atlanta Fark Party - Tonight at Twains around 8:00pm (esta noche en Twains alrededor de las 8 en la noche ) in Decatur. Drew and FarkTV crew will be there
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If you're going to steal a bunch of GPS devices, you might want to TURN THEM OFF before the cops do their no-brainer
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Today's school stabbing brought to you by Sudbury, Massachusetts
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| (heraldonline.com) |
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For 58th straight year, mysterious visitor leaves birthday cognac and roses at Edgar Allan Poe's grave. Exits to go listen to Siouxie, Necromantiksunshine, Sisters of Mercy albums
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Oil prices hold steady at $50 per barrel on news that Chapter 1 of the Fark book can now be accessed via the main page
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| (Kent News) |
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Page 3 model shocked, SHOCKED I say that ex-boyfriend has published 'home movie' online
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If two passenger jets are two miles apart, travelling at 500 MPH directly toward each other at 30,000 feet, how many pairs of soiled underwear will you have?
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Kansas City Fark party. Saturday, Feb 10th 9PM. Dave and Busters at The Legends
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Pravda's Ric Romerovitch discovers that cheerleaders steal audience's attention from athletes (with cheerleader picture goodness)
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California could be first state to make spanking illegal
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UN to deploy all female peacekeeping force. What could possibly go wrong? Voting enabled
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"Meals cost 5,000 yen for 60 minutes, which entitles the diner to eat and drink as much as they can, as well as request garment changes from any of the waiting staff available"
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Remember the Consumer Reports article about unsafe car seats? They wish you'd just forget about it, actually
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John Edwards sells his home for 5.2 Million to a corporation that is under an SEC probe for sleazy accounting and stock option practices. He declares vehemently "I am not a douchebag"
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Norway's foreign Minister has turned part of his visit to Afghanistan into mission to save severly burned goat herder's daughter
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FarkTV - 15 Minutes: Can Jack Bauer's cousin make missing girls cute and white enough to get national media coveage?
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Parks and Recreation Commission of Marysville, Ohio decides it's time to rename South Park in effort to distance itself from TV show. Funny how there wasn't a problem the first 11 years show was on
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AFI counts down the 100 Greatest Movies of all time. Again. For the 10th year in a row. Save yourself 3 hours, "Citizen Kane," "Gone With The Wind" and "Casablanca" are always the top three
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| (Huffington Post) |
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It only took 42 hours and 15 minutes of Pelosi time for the Democrat House to complete it's promises to the American people. Total number of laws that have passed Congress and been signed into law: zero
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Northwest Airlines A319 Airbus flying to Washington, D.C., was forced to return to Detroit. It's true, there really is no escape from Hell
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Six ways to deal with annoying kids. NyQuil in sippy cup surprisingly absent from list
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Man beats up wife because her panties are showing, claiming that his pure blood is not to be contaminated. Punches her in the box and smacks her around when she offers no sympathy for his dead dog. Then it gets weird
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| (Consumerist) |
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How to pay only $11 for 9 months of phone service
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If you're paid nearly $60,000 a week to kick balls for a living, why would you bother shopping for your own toilet seat, let alone try to steal one?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Movie posters that Fark clichés could have improved
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When every local news outlet and police tell you the ice is not safe, it must be time to plow a road across the lake. Well, halfway across the lake
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The latest star to have a wardrobe malfunction isn't Tara or Britney: it's Joan Collins
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Cell phone didn't start fire in man's pants
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Company markets musical condoms for Valentine's Day. Well, it's really just flavored condoms plus a music CD, and the condom won't make music no matter how hard you fark
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Drew and Farker Briggsb on the set of Fark TV yesterday
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| (Comedy Central) |
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Colbert vs O'Reilly - steel cage match
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What's the difference between a male hooker and this guy? One eats crack out of old bags and... well, I guess there's no difference after all
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Man robbed at shovelpoint. Thieves were caught and got what's coming to 'em in spades
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Hurricane-force winds batter Europe, Florida seen giving raspberries in the distance
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| (Some Guy) |
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A school in Little Rock offered bonuses to teachers for improved student testing. Naturally, students' scores jumped 29 percent. Even more naturally, parents love it. Most natural of all: Teachers' unions are forcing them to stop
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Man awarded damages after being forced by police to trample on pieces of paper bearing his family members' names
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Chinese deny participation in outer space arms race, claim recent satellite weapon test was just advanced fireworks
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Ah, yes, the IntarWebs. Connecting two people's sex toys in real time
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| (Boortz) |
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Drew will be on the Neil Boortz show at 10:30am EST
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| (Some Maritimer) |
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Last Call for the Fredericton, NB Fark Party: Tonight, Snooty Fox, 9pm, unless it's cancelled due to Winter. Keep checking here for updates
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After years of study, science finally discovers how seahorses fark - though the results are said to be anti-climatic
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Note to self: Don't enter the tiger enclosure drunk and try to share your bag of chips with the big kitty
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Submitter is shocked, SHOCKED I say to learn that mega-church leaders are being charged with currency smuggling and lying to customs officers
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July 7th -- 7/7/07 -- most requested day in years to get married. Most couples will soon realize it's one year, one month, one day late
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Toyota to recall 533,000 Sequoias, Tundras, Redwoods, Steppes, Alluvial Basins, and the Gulf of Tangiers
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this work of art
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Today's mother of the year nominee sold her 8 year old daughter to undercover cop for sex. Bonus: Special judge had to be brought in since mom is engaged to Memphis judge
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| (Metro.co.uk) |
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Thats the problem with leopards, they hide in the neighbor's azelias so well you can't see 'em until they pounce
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| (Some artist) |
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Coolest murals you'll see today
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Woman has laughing fit while eating sphagetti, which causes her to swallow a spoon. She swallows, supresses her gag reflex, and spoons simultaneously-- the perfect girlfriend
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Study claims that women drive safer than men
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New online tool will help track and assess Doctor fatigue. If they can't remove a wishbone for $300, it's time to take a break
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Ah, the Kokoamos Island Bar and Grill - like being on a Caribbean island...except you won't seen anyone with dreadlocks, since they're banned from the premises
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Starbuck's in Beijing's Forbidden City may close, which is a shame since the world doesn't have enough Starbucks
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Tortilla prices in Mexico are out of control, Tom Tancredo spotted purchasing ammo, sucking big time
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| (Ars Technica) |
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Democrat Senate plan to make all bloggers with more than 500 readers register with the government. Chavez heard muttering why didn't he think of that first?
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| (14 News) |
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Government agent with Adult Protective Services in trouble for receiving oral sex from one of his clients, who was mentally disabled. That's just farking retarded
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If you're a pregnant teen who just stole a van with two other pregant teens after whacking the director of a pregnant teen home with a frying pan and tying her up, the police would like a word with you
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| Thu January 18, 2007 |
| (New Joisey) |
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Iraq war veteran Sgt. Craig Breiner to shake off bum knee, carry flag 50 miles in protest this Saturday. The hero tag? Oh yeah: He's protesting the Democrats negative image of our military, not the war. Suck it, libs
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Georgia governor won't allow Sunday alcohol sales because it will teach "time management"
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| (WFRV) |
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Bears fans who can't get tickets buy new televisions; sales spike by 25 percent
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today is Winnie the Pooh day. Celebrate by eating lots of honey and saying oh my
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| (Casper Star-Tribune) |
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Neighbors try to block wine and martini bar due to crime - cuz everyone knows most crooks like a nice vintage or something shaken, not stirred
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Georgia Governor proposes spending $19B in tax money to lure more bass fishing tournaments to state
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The nation's most dangerous schools over the past five years can't be found in Los Angeles, Chicago or America's other urban centers. They're found in Georgia, South Dakota, and New Jersey
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mad biologists create electrified nano-virii. Mad meteorologists scowl, ramp up production on poisonous lightning
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| (Some Guy) |
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Handy party tip: Don't throw your used kegs in a fire. Dead people and lawsuits will ensue
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42,000 ton digging machine eats bulldozers for breakfast
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this beach dog
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| (East Bay Express) |
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Sprinkler system douses first-ever "fire ballet," soaked audience flees
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| (Some Guy) |
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$2.2 million road goes nowhere after county refuses to finish sixty feet in the middle (w/ pic)
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Former gay NJ governor's beard to no longer be a silent partner
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Australian Muslim cleric finally calls for an end to violence and bringing Muslim beliefs into an ecumenical society. Just kidding, he encourages children to become martyrs for Islam and ridicules Jews as pigs
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| (China Daily) |
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Remember Reagan's anti-missile defense program that would never work and wasted missions of dollars? Well, the Chinese & Russians successfully tested their anti-satellite "kinetic kill vehicle."
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An investigation into the cleanliness of rivers feeding Washington's Potomac River has revealed the presence of sex-changing chemicals
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| (Gothamist) |
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New York judge rules there's no law stopping any qualified jumper from parachuting off any damn building they want
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| (Charleston Post and Courier) |
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The Charleston Post and Courier discovers the glory of Fark. Or at least the glory of making Eli Manning and Joey Harrington jokes
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News helicopter blows deer to safety. (With Vid)
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Chile extends casual Friday to the entire week...to save energy. Viva la revolucion
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Utah may follow Texas in raising speed limit to 80. Bonus: police in unmarked cars will look out for women applying makeup while driving
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Muslim groups complain about protrayals of muslims on "24", again. Producers say the they'd like to include positive images of Muslims but THERE ISN'T ENOUGH TIME
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CIBC loses personal info on 470,000 Canadians....401,812 Americans when you take exchange into account
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| (ohio.com) |
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Annoying/insulting: workmen walk in unannounced to check your fire alarm batteries. Disquieting: You were naked when they walked in. Fark.com/insulting: They have no recollection of you
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Ein großer Sturm tötet 11 in Europa. Aber wir ÜBERGEBEN NICHT
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Fark HQ ponders move to South Carolina after state legislature ponders move to make Happy Hour an all-day event
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| (NY Times) |
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Time Inc. Lays Off More Than 250, but at least on their resumé they can list 'Person of the Year : 2006'
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Sex toys, including Mrs Santa outfit and various vibrators, became best-selling products over Christmas. Ho, ho, ho
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| (Rocky Mountain News) |
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Implanting chips in humans may become illegal, taking away another component of your basic high school orgy
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these Italian traffic cops
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Alleged carjacker allegedly shot in alleged buttocks, allegedly say alleged police
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| (Some Guy) |
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Soldier decides to keep live rounds and explosives as mementos of his time in Iraq. What could possibly go wrong?
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Ebay thinks that scammers may be denting its reputation. L@@K Genuine Fark *Obvious* tag1 NR
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| (The State (SC)) |
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South Carolinians stunned at harsh temperatures and strange, slippery stuff that forms on roads. 'What's this? What's this? There's white stuff every where'
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| (WTNH) |
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Parents suing Myspace for failing to protect their daughters from predators. No word on predator's class action suit regarding epileptic seizures induced by viewing said pages in the first place
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Oil prices plunge to $50 per barrel on news of an American Idol "talent vacuum" in Seattle
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Lord, I'm an ass-grabbin' maaaan. Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I caaaaan
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A good way to keep the kids off heroin: let them know it's been in granny's underwear
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New Fark.tv episode: Nothing like beating your pretty hot future wife when there's something huge at stake
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| (NBC6.net) |
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Miami Beach seeks to ban private parties of 15 or more in residential homes. EVERYBODY PICNIC
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Hooters new 'PLAGIARISM SAVES TIME' sign near elementary school angers teachers (with sign pic)
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Tonight it's Colbert vs. O'Reilly on both the Factor and the Report, a veritable megamerican superstantial plethora of truthiness
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Birth of baby gorilla will be broadcast live from Prague zoo as part of "Czech public radio's ongoing alternative primate reality show." Wait... what?
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Condoleezza Rice: "Whole of Mideast wants peace." Clap louder Condi, Tinkerbell is dying
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Wanna deflate someone trying to show off their new high-def TV? Here's what you do
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Even high gas prices couldn't stop inflation in 2006 from being at the lowest rate in three years, 2.5 percent. Bush, global warming, Marty Schottenheimer not blamed
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27-year-old "wild woman" found living in Cambodian jungle. Cannot speak and behaves like an animal. Marriage proposals flooding in
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Lawyer defends feces-laden mailer sent to Congresswoman by invoking Thomas Jefferson and South Park's Mr. Hankey. Woman who allegedly sent dog feces calls it all 'political expression.'
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Big Bopper's son wants autopsy to see if his famous father is still dead almost 50 years later
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| (WESH) |
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Father says he shot son with BB gun to teach lesson...how to survive in Florida
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Atlanta Fark party this Friday 8pm at Twains. Added bonus: Drew and the cast of Fark TV will be there also. Odds are we'll film some stuff too. Also if you are a relatively hot chick, bring a bikini (seriously)
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Viagra damages ability to smell. But who has time to smell stuff when you're knocking boots all day? Yeah, baby
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One year after going to a hospice to die, political columnist Art Buchwald finally does, noting that he knew it was about his time when he heard the ghost of Richard Nixon humming for 18 1/2 minutes
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| (Digg) |
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Digg links to Fark. Fark links back to Digg. Universe collapses into a singularity
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| (TechDirt) |
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The RIAA has a SWAT team to help rid the U S of DJs and their mix tapes
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| (Some Guy) |
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Good: You are a professional athlete dating an Argentinian model. Bad: Injesting the cream she uses for a vaginal infection gets you suspended for steroid use (5th item down, with pic)
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Canadian Navy is out of money, won't be able to purchase coal or maintain the steamboat
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Castro did not want colostomy. In other news, world leaders reduced to speaking in Fark cliches
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New study proves what postal workers have known for years - downsizing can harm employees mental health
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Webcams of Norway. One look here, and you'll wonder why more people don't move there
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Southern foodie shocked, SHOCKED, to discover that pimento cheese spread not considered a delicacy anywhere outside of the South
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Montel Williams' psychic pal Sylvia Browne told Shawn Hornbeck's family the now found alive missing teen died 4 years ago. Oops
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ZOMG -- Out of place bra strapzors111eleventy1
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Australian female driver blows 0.446. A couple of more drinks and she would have had the record
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News: Iran offers proposal to US, ending support for militant groups and making its nuclear programme more transparent. Fark.com: 4years ago. Bonus points: Washington to Tehran, 'We don't talk to evil'
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Music industry threatens ISPs over piracy. quick to the romero-copter
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| (EurekAlert) |
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Reanalysis of cigarettes confirms tobacco companies increased addictive nicotine 11 percent from 1997 to 2005. Tell St. Peter at the golden gate - that heaven will have to wait - you just gotta have another cigarette
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Cars made today that will be collectible cars in 2027
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Just wanted wanted to play 'piggie goes to market'. Man arrested for lewdness in public library after asking 11 year-old to see her foot
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Police in Australia are closely examining four years worth of up-skirt video in an attempt to identify victims of hidden camera buff
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| (doom9.org) |
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Not News: Hollywood announces new AACS HD-DVD encryption, calls it unbreakable. News: anonymous hacker breaks it. FARK.com: in 8 days
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| (Some Guy) |
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Britain to build new super defence academy to train the armed force more efficently, cheaper and to a higher standard. Dam you Military Industrial Complex, Dam you all to hell
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How fast can you shoot the sheep? sheeps....sheepes
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Michael Vick nearly busted for trying to take super secret water bottle onto plane
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| (MosNews.com) |
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Ukrainian politician dies in hunting accident despite Dick Cheney being thousands of miles away
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Global warming gets a kick in the pants as China chooses cars over bikes
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New spray will protect your skin from the the effects of 'Artificial Electromagnetic Waves'
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Man frees trio of pit bulls to "see what kind of trouble he could cause."
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Want to buy a handgun off the street in Sydney? No problem. An AK-47? Sure, it'll just take a few extra days. How about an anti-tank missile? A cool $15,000 and it's yours
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Woman who fostered teenage boy marries him, reproduces. Woody Allen approves
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Romanian doctor admits he may have "overreacted" when he cut off a patient's penis and chopped it into tiny bits during a routine testicle correction surgery
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How do you free a tangled deer from a rope swing? With a taser, of course
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these sky rats
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Pianist busted for child prostitution after they caught him fingering A minor
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School district investigating how autistic student ended up at wrong school. No word on if he was driven there in a 1949 Buick Roadmaster, but it wasn't an excellent driver. Yeah
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Austrian marathon runner who set off to jog around world for charity has broken off his attempt due to dental problems
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A billboard featuring a horny Jennifer Hawkins deemed too racy for a New Zealand airport. (w/pic of ad)
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The Rail Minister of England has a novel idea to combat overcrowding on trains: Some of you will just have to stand up
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Bird carries smoldering cigarette back to its 5-foot-wide nest; sets fire not only to its home, but office building that supported it
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Bush administration proclaims that judges are unfit to decide law. Guess who is fit to decide law?
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They should have gone with decaf. Six workers crushed to death by coffee beans
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Retired Chinese couple places want ad for a daughter after their son leaves home, get over 100 applications. God help us if reality TV executives get a hold of this one
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Looking for a new career? The 10 hottest jobs of 2007
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Group of parents outraged over increasingly lavish children's birthday parties. Jayden, Schuylar, Annystin, and Veruca stamp their feet, want their limo noooow
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Parking fines for diplomats with immunity nears $18 million
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| (Farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 89: "WTF?"
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| Wed January 17, 2007 |
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Compulsive gambler impulsively adds himself to official casino blacklist, can't get off it
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this lonely lightbulb
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| (WLEX) |
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Train wreck trifecta complete. Third train wreck in three days in Kentucky
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Royal Marines ride wings of Apache attack helicopters to recover fallen comrade
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| (Some Guy) |
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Official "American Idol" auditions thread, Week 1, Night 2. Drink every time Paula slurs, Randy says "dog", or Simon says "horrible" Man were gonna get hammered
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New Fark TV episode posted "Meth Coffee" - check it out (link fixed)
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| (Palm Beach Post) |
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Elderly man remembers how one mistake hurt his Air Force career. Boy you drop 4 atomic bombs just once and they never let you live it down
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| (13wmaz.com) |
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Today's school stabbing with a steak knife brought to you by Smyrna, Ga
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Lakers star steals man's birthday cake on street at 2 a.m. Then things started getting weird
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"Peyton Pouting" slideshow gallery from the Boston Globe. This certainly won't come back to haunt them
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| (Courier-Journal) |
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"Gee, Jeff, it sure is weird taking off on a runway with no lights in the dark." Transcript of final moments of Comair 5191 released today
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Wal-Mart spends $26M to build store; Farker's friend Laurel sues city and succeeds in keeping it empty
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450,000 federal employees didn't bother filing their taxes in 2005. Government response? They sent a good, stiff memo asking employees to comply. YA RLY
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| (Some Guy) |
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Drink too much? This police department offers rides home
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Mental note: The USPS is not a good way to traffick $83,000 worth of marijuana
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| (Rochester D&C) |
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Today we salute you, Mr. "Fight Loser Who Then Runs Over A Group Of People With His Car" Guy
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| (Some confused guy) |
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Another sign of global warming: snowplow drivers in short supply
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| (9News.com) |
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Man gets lost, almost loses hands to frostbite in 20-minute walk up driveway
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Today's "frozen-blue-poopy-meteor through the roof" story brought to you by San Diego
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Pop culture themed hotel has a 'chick flick' floor where your woman can cheat but get her man in the end
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Not News: Officer arrests homeless woman. Soup Kitchen Newsletter: Officer takes shopping cart to station so she doesn't lose stuff. Fark: By holding it next to cruiser for 12 miles
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Handbags getting so big they're considered health hazards, small planets (with pic)
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| (Cayman Compass) |
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Cancer deaths officially on the decline - proving once and for all that those little ribbons and rubber arm bracelets really do work miracles
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Experts say that girls going wild is completely normal
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Young man who killed his stepfather with a sword sentenced to 25 to life. That could be a damn long time for an Immortal, especially one who's just experienced a Quickening
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Hungry rebels eat rare silverback gorillas. ♪I want my silverback, silverback, silverback♪
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| (Shhhhhhh!) |
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Today's school librarian being fired for "being too popular with the students, wink wink,nudge nudge" brought to you by W. Va
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| (Some Vidiot) |
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Sony voids warranty on PS3's if you don't use Sony component cables? They really don't want anyone to buy one of these, huh?
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You know how much trouble it is to go through security, ticketing, and departure gates to catch a plane? This 9 year-old sneaked aboard a flight. Caught only when he messed up the transfer
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| (NYTimes) |
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Cost of war hits $1.2 trillion. Good thing we got social security and the health care system fixed first
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"American Idol" is the torture camp of show business: We feel bad about it but we still like to watch
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| (eSkeptic) |
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Skeptic Magazine could stand to be a tad more skeptical after running the "Grand Canyon park rangers forbidden from discussing true age of the earth" story as fact
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Indonesian mud volcano may have been caused by oil drilling, not Taco Bell lettuce as previously reported
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News: Australian military called on to repel invasion on northern border. Fark: Invasion composed entirely of toads
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this Vancouver landmark
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Fidel Castro discovers the hard way that Cuba's free health care is worth every penny he paid
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Lost: One 120lb canister of radioactive material somewhere along a 950mile road in Western Australia. If found, please deliver to your local police station. Reward offered
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USA Today tackles the tough story of the day: how to get Google to notice you. Dancing nude in their lobby while wearing a funny hat missing from the list, strangely enough
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Iran president says Israel would not dare attack. Also confident industrial revolution is a myth
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| (NBC2) |
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Man arrested for disturbing the peace. His wife can't understand why people would be upset that he showed up at an MLK day event dressed as a gorilla wearing a t-shirt that says "Owned by N-I-*-*-A-Z"
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If you are driving through Texas on I-10, you might want to find another path as 300 miles of it has been shut down due to God spilling a little ice
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Tampon ads for the sporty, active menstruator show that even feminine hygiene products can be cool, trendy, and have flow
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Church Minister's magic license revoked, doesn't tell anyone. Years later, dozens of couples upset to find out they were living in sin, had fake magic blessings
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Teen, who helped rescue two kidnapped kids, given hero's ceremony by the FBI, gives speech of such eloquence and patriotism that it shall forever be remembered as... just kidding, he quoted Larry the Cable Guy and walked away
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| (Some Guy) |
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Argentina is waging a secret economic terrorism against the Falklands in a attempt to force them into Argentina. But this has nothing to do with the oil honest
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Porn studio Vivid has announced its first Blu-ray porn movie, the format war continues
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Chicago Sun-times has stock-picking monkey that's beaten major indexes for past four years. In other news, Chicago Sun-times has stock-picking monkey. (pic)
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Congratulations, you've just won an exhibit featuring just about every single goofy game show host in history. Survey says: spiffy tag wins
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