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| Sun May 28, 2006 |
| (kfor.com) |
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Just in time for Memorial Day, veteran gets letter from mom...63 years after she wrote it
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Twenty-eight victims in random stabbing attacks in Germany must now receive HIV treatments after one man tests positive. Extra points to article-writer, who manages to work in the phrase "10 minute orgy of violence"
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Police officers brag about enjoying free TVs, sofas, and SUVs seized from drug dealers. In attempt to not appear heartless, point out one time, they left a dealer's son's videogames alone
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Everybody get used to saying it. "Governor Nugent"
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Car thieves try to steal vehicle without stealing an engine for it first
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Burglar brings two-year-old son along while he robbed homes because he couldn't find a sitter
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"In three years, our alpaca portfolio has quadrupled in value. Nobody can say that about a 401k."
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Minutemen building border fence in Arizona, will take $100K and 3 weeks to build since they have to do it themselves
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| (i-am-bored) |
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One of the best TV pranks in the history of ever
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Yard-long giant earthworms start to surface in Washington State after 20 years underground. You may now panic
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Australian authorities use DNA testing to catch sheep thief. Nervous Australians ask if it's easy to recover DNA from sheep. You know, hypothetically speaking
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RCMP wishes everyone would just chill out about that guy they shot in the back of the head while in custody for having an open beer in public
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B*rry B*nds p*ss*s B*b* R*th with 715*th hom*r
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Somebody besides Danica won the Indy 500, dashing hopes of men around the world that she would have to kiss the Indy Queen. We understand he has a name, but who really cares?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Create a song using samples, lyrics, or some other element from: Kool Moe Dee, Shania Twain and Sinatra
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| (Daily India) |
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Theme: Cat-food company creates feline "Survivor." Photoshop some "challenges" for the contestants
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The gloves come off as nude resorts battle for customers
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Border agents say all the extra guards aren't going to make a bit of difference, unless businesses who employ undocumented workers are held accountable
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| (Eagle Tribune) |
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Fifteen million toll tokens for sale cheap. Voting enabled for potential uses
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Drunken man tries to hop over a metal fence. Since you're reading this here, you may assume he had a problem with the iron bar sticking out of the fence
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| (mysanantonio.com) |
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Top 10 goofy video clips on teh internets, presented by some guy who can't count
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| (Some Silver Surfer) |
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The Swarm lets you anonymously share your surfing paths through the internet - something the CIA should have known before
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| (cute overload) |
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What is it with cats and boxes
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Are you fat? Do you lead an inactive lifestyle? You probably have diabetes and don't know it
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Vermont enacts near-universal health-care insurance by extending coverage to as much as 96 percent of its residents by 2010
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The US faces a critical shortage of registered nurses; will meet the demand by raiding poorer countries for health care workers
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| (times leader) |
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Wild pigs causing havoc in Pennsylvania farm country
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Rolling wheel of Double Gloucester ready to make Swiss Cheese of contestants
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| (Some Patriot) |
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Karl Rove and Robert Novak planned a cover-up to Roves involvement in the Valerie Plame leak
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| (Some Driver) |
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Indy 500 discussion thread
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Michael Jackson to visit orphanages in Japan. No really
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| (asahi.com) |
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Great moments in Japanese patriotism: 50 elementary schools are already grading pupils for their "love of the nation"
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Japanese government uses Asimov's First Law as guide in defining rules for newly built robots
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Navy Shows off high-tech weapons. 007 surrenders
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this red panda
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Tattooing going mainstream in Japan
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| (Gainsville.com) |
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Deer are 300 times more deadly than sharks. Good thing they don't go to the beach
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Beauty salon brawl: "I accidentally took my shoe off and hit her with it after she punched me."
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Female radio DJ gets fired for dressing too sexy on air, you heard the headline correctly
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Seven injured, one dead in funeral procession accident
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| (Some Guy) |
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WWE event breaks out in front of bar in Olympia with hundreds engaged in street brawl. Is this what $6 for a Coor's Light leads to?
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| (Some Guy) |
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Australian unions urge higher wages for Thai "beer girls." I'll have a double
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| (news-leader.com) |
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Call enterprise, they'll pick you up. Now with free snake
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What's inside the secret NSA room at AT&T headquarters?
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| (Pittsburgh Live) |
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Man survives on pudding after being lost in stone quarry for two days. Mmmm pudding
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Jackson Whites, a reclusive "tribe" of descendants of runaways and freed slaves that has been living on the same mountain for 200 years.... about thirty minutes from midtown Manhattan
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| Sat May 27, 2006 |
| (Stars and Stripes) |
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Man falsely brags of being ex-Army Ranger, slaughtering Iraqis including kids
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| (Scripps-Howard News) |
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Canadians fear that US is after their water; Ottawa responds with plan to have Canadians pee in every second lake
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| (Some Chaka) |
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Farker chakalakasp goes storm huntin' in Kansas; watches the sky lay the smack down on the prairie. With pics of an OMFG cloud
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Disney World may be the happiest place on earth, except when you try to buy two glasses of wine at the same time
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| (Some Guy) |
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How to find a good sushi restaurant
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Fourth grader falls victim to drive-by haircut
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English football fans in Germany for the World Cup likely to sing all the old favourites: "Stand Up If You Won the War," and "Two World Wars and One World Cup, Doodah, Doodah."
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| (Some Guy) |
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Addicting tower building game. Beat the Vikings and claim victory
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| (Some Guy) |
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End of year prank: students burn outline of giant 15-foot penis into the football field turf
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Pat Robertson claims to leg-press two thousand pounds
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| (JasonClay.com) |
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Time-compressed video of a day at the pyramids. Teal'c unavailable for comment
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| (Patna Daily) |
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Funny thing about holding a bag of bombs...you can't drop it
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Australia dealing with the Great Lesbian Migration of 2006
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New public service announcements designed to scare the hell out of Floridians
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Fueled by case of beer, three men attempt Class III rapids in Wal-Mart raft, with predictable results
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STDs Running Rampant In Florida Retirement Communities. Viagra, Craftmatic Adjustable beds blamed
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| (The Capital Times) |
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Top 10 campus pranks
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| (af.mil) |
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Photoshop this extra-spicy airman
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| (Joblo) |
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Top Twelve Canadian hotties (w/ pics). All the free beer and sausages they want, eh
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| (Some BBQ Guru) |
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The official Fark 3 day weekend BBQ thread. LGN
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If you just bought a Corvette, it's about to become a convertible for free. The catch? When it happens, it's going to be a surprise
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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It's bad form to have your cell phone ring during a wedding, especially if it plays the Kentucky Derby's "Call to the Post" just before the bride walks down the aisle
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| (KTAR) |
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Scottsdale looks to ban helicopter landings in residential neighborhoods
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3000+ dead in Indonesian earthquake
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Several high-level officials including the Attorney General and the director of the FBI threaten to resign if documents in the DOJ raid are taken from them
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| (Some Guy) |
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Remember that guy that was illegally tortured by cops because he was a suspected drug dealer? Neither does anyone else because the media was busy with Janet Jackson's nipple
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Some cell phone owners don't want to watch movies or play music or hold their schedules and shopping lists, they just want a device that will make and receive calls and in a pinch can be thrown at kids on the goddamn lawn
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| (courant.com) |
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Catholic high school teacher claims he has constitutional right to bang 16 year-old students
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| (ponokanews) |
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This is what happens when a frustrated novelist writes for the police blotter
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Student sets simultaneous world ice cream-eating record, worst ever ice cream headache mark
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No matter how many times we're warned against it, there are always a few dumbasses who just have to joke about a bomb on the plane
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| (Daily Mail) |
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"Hey, look at the enormous waves crashing onto this seawall. Let's strip down to our underwear, get really close to them and take turns posing for photos. What could possibly go wrong?"
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| (Some Old Guy) |
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Photoshop this fridge raider
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Harvard is one of the world's most expensive day care centers
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| (Pestiside) |
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Political firestorm erupts in Budapest over penis-shaped popsicles
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| (Some Guy) |
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Shooting half-naked chicks in your video game ad can be kinda controversial; Miyamoto throws hands up in air, reaches for pistol (Not safe for work pic?)
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Women gain prominence in video game world. You got pwn3d by the PMS Clan n00b
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Caption what this newest college graduate is thinking
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| (Some Guy) |
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Two men each lose a hand in barbeque accident. Suprisingly, alcohol was involved
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| (Some Place or Other) |
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Home Economics takes on new meaning as students record each other's in-class sex act on cell phones, post on Internets. TTIUWOP
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Champagne, a plane and Billy Zane
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Tacoma radio station airs emergency warning that massive, volcanic-caused mudflow was headed from the flanks of Mount Rainier. So if you're now living in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Seattle, the station wants you to know "My Bad"
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Oceanographer attempting to illustrate the dangers of being pulled away from shore by riptides does so rather vividly by getting pulled away from shore by riptides
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| (Some Korean Art Festival) |
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The coolest video you'll see this weekend. Sand animation from Hungarian artist Ferenc Cakó
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| (Some Goddamn Tree) |
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Grow and maintain your own virtual tree. Water, prune and maintain the life of this majestic pain in the ass
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| (YouTube) |
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Geek paradise: Guild Wars vrs WOW to the tune of MC Hammer's Can't Touch This
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| (Tallahassee.com) |
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Photos of 747 super tanker dropping 20,500 gallons of water
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Village sick of speeders dresses up ghoul as police officer holding a speed camera by side of road. The Sun is there with pictures
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Cambodian PM bans mobile phones because someone sent his wife a dirty picture on one
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cool Pics from a stormchaser in Nebraska
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| (Anchorage Daily News) |
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Apparently flying civilian aircraft armed with missiles is a felony, even in Alaska
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| Fri May 26, 2006 |
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Dumb: Robbing a convenience store. Dumber: All you take are instant lotto tickets and snack cakes. Fark.com: Trail of cake wrappers lead police to the culprits
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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College dean who bit leg of man who'd stopped to help him after car accident pleads guilty to battery, drunk driving, rabies
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's attempt to hide sensitive information using black bars in a PDF document brought to you by AT&T
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| (Tahoe Daily Tribune) |
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Bear slams into car. Man chases bear to exchange insurance info (with pic)
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Michelin CEO killed in boating accident. Michelin Man turned white upon hearing news
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Gas station customer pumps $36 worth of gas, then discovers he left his wallet at home. Station owner responds by shooting out two of his tires
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| (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) |
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Heigh-ho, it's off to work they go: Photoshop these miners
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Fashion critics run rampant in Iraq
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Wounded soldier gives his purple heart to 13-year-old to honor her for writing letters to troops
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Swan falls in love with swan-shaped paddle boat. Unwanted sexual advances? That's a paddlin'
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| (WCBS 880) |
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NY doctor doing surgery on badly bleeding El Salvadoran boy scrubs out, donates his own blood, eats a Pop-Tart and then scrubs back in to help finish operation
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Not News: Man arrested for selling cocaine. News: He worked as a security guard at a juvenile detention center. Fark: Also holds Super Bowl record
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Kentucky, in another attempt to get its own tag, plans on launching its own satellite
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Postman attacked by bad tempered pheasant
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U.S. House workers, unfamiliar with the sounds of people actually working, mistake air hammer for gunfire
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A look at life inside the Legoland model shop. It's filled with squares
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High school to use handheld device at prom which finds students that have been drinking from up to 7 feet away, but also gives a false positive for perfume and mouthwash. What could possibly go wrong?
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Twelve best PMITA prisons in the country
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| (WCPO) |
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Cincinnati vampire protesting new garlic-laden White Castle sandwich; claims it "angers the undead." No, really
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| (Philly.com) |
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Technology that allows only the owner to fire his handgun could be law in New Jersey. Your criminal wants one of the 200 million non-technological guns currently out there
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Yacht abandoned during Australia to New Zealand trip appears to have finished the trip itself and returned to Australia with no one aboard
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The award for "America's dumbest drivers" goes to... Rhode Island
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| (The Morning Call) |
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Bad: Being addicted to heroin. Worse: Not being able to afford to support your addiction. Worst: Trying to steal meat from a supermarket to pay for it
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And for today's "show and tell" class, Timmy will show us the 25 bags of pot his dad left in his backpack
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The Indy 500 Queen kissing the winner tradition raises an interesting question: what if Danica Patrick wins?
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| (ProcTex) |
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Vancouver Fark Party reminder: this Saturday 8pm downtown at Smiley O'Neal's
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If you want to leave your job and be remembered, show up with a gun and demand your last paycheck
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| (whiotv.com) |
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U.S. government check raises online gambling industry, hoping it will fold
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Police searching Capitol Hill for possible gunman. They've only found a building full of thieves so far
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Sometimes a single letter missing from a caption can make the situation very bizarre
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Jackass to self: Here's a good idea... I'll use my school's debit card at a brothel while on a coaching conference. No one will EVER find out
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| (Some Guy) |
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Court rules that pedophiles lured in by TV news reporters cannot be arrested. That's okay, because sweeps are over anyhow
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| (Some Guy) |
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Canon to stop making film cameras. Paul Simon concerned he cannot sing Kodachrome much longer (Nikon is also halting film camera production)
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Hell's Angel's store in Charlottetown, Canada closed by police. Authorities now stuck with hundreds of Hummel figurines of "Getting his Red Wings," and "Stomping His First Squealer"
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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Fark's favorite sheriff is at it again, this time having taxpayers pay to get his lawn cut
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| (Some Plebian) |
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Many voters in Broward County received wrong voter registration cards just in time to screw up yet another election
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| (Fox Sports) |
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Photoshop this Buffalo Bill and his coach
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| (wtopnews.com) |
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Stupid headline of the day: Lightning likely killed zebra that drowned
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| (wsoctv.com) |
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Owning a dog may help you lose weight. Your dog wants to go another lap
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Bet you didn't know Web 2.0™ was a trademark? Neither did a lot of people until the cease-and-desist letters started showing up
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Student suspended for bringing Jolt gum to school because it contains caffiene. The same school that sells Moutain Dew in its vending machines
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Britney finally kicks K-Fed out of her house... Po-po Zao, muthafarker
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"We're sure concerned about privacy issues, but what the heck?" Hayden confirmed as new CIA chief
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| (Gulf Daily News) |
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School principal who was caught with hashish in his underpants says he did it because he was stressed
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| (Inland Valley Bulletin) |
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Jewelry store worker leaves loaded handgun in employee break room. Other employees think it's fake and play with it. That smell you're noticing is gunpowder and hilarity
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| (Save Lives in May) |
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Asshat who had predicted that a tsunami was going to destroy the Atlantic coast yesterday now says it'll happen in a "time window of 48 hours"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Your risk of becoming a sex addict is in your genes. Also your jeans
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| (ksdk.com) |
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Actual headline: "Strippers arrested in fight outside burning club"
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Remember Meat Loaf's performance on "American Idol" two days ago? Neither does he
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| (News 14) |
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Reports of shots fired in Rayburn House Office Building across street from U.S. Capitol. Entire Capitol complex locked down. Dick Cheney sought for questioning
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| (hamptonroads.com) |
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If you've been crapping in the Atlantic ocean, the Virginia Beach Health Department would like to have a word with you
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And, with a simple guilty plea, the great NYC ice-cream turf war of 2004 simply melted away
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Former Laci Peterson case juror pen pal with Scott Peterson. Pic included with boob tattoo (SFW). Classy
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| (AJR) |
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Newspaper editors make stunning discovery that putting breaking local news on the front page rather than Paris Hilton sells newspapers
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Hugh Hefner finally reveals his secrets -- form a queue, people
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Sherpa stands naked for three minutes on Everest peak. Also creates longest frozen pee icicle
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Hell reportedly freezing over as Bush admits mistakes during Iraq crusade
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| (Jakarta Post) |
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In world's largest Muslim country, two largest Muslim groups ask government to crack down on Muslim extremists. Here is the outrage
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| (NY Daily News) |
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NY MTA now randomly screening Metro-North and Long Island railroad passengers for explosives. NJ Transit not bothering saying they had trains full of passengers waiting to explode yesterday
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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TSA recommendations to speed things up at the airport: Don't bring banned stuff
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| (physorg.com) |
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Russian scientists develop star-charged batteries; gives birth to the Duracell unicorn
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Drinking every day reduces risk of heart disease. In other news, Drew is the healthiest man alive
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| (Daily Mail) |
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West Viriginia man with tree-trimmer decides to give the overgrown power-lines a touch-up trim while he's up there
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More people voted for an "American Idol" contestant than any U.S. president. Ever
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Ex-navy marksmen gets 84 to life for popping Dom Perignon champagne
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| (some kingMountain) |
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Ten little-known facts about history and the world around us
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Bank robber forgets to escape before sitting down for nice, relaxing read
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| (Some Space Alien) |
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Photoshop this biker
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Woman gets tired of police helicopter flying around her, shoots bottle rocket at it. Jailarity ensues
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| (PJStar On Line) |
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Teens target family, leaving a boat, fridge, road construction signs on the lawn over 10 month period
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Bird rescuers go daffy over x-ray showing an alien head in a duck's gizzard. With pics
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| (NY1) |
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Military flyover of NYC scares the natives, who immediately pray to the God of Wood and Stone
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Australia offers $10,000 reward to catch the son of a beech who poisoned its historic Tree of Knowledge
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| Thu May 25, 2006 |
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Two philosophers and a farmer figure out which came first, the chicken or the egg
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| (Nature) |
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Hydrothermal vent is so hot, the water is supercritical. That screaming sound you just heard was thousands of Farkers having flashbacks to thermodynamics class
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| (www.TFKitchen.com) |
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TFKItchen -- better late then never
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| (Some Guy) |
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The top officer in the U.S. Marine Corps is going to Iraq to give the troops a stern talking to about upholding the honor of being a marine, and not killing innocent civilians. If that doesn't work, he'll send a harshly worded letter
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Boffins discover "metamaterials" which may be able to render objects invisible. Romulans, Predators expected to protest
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Mug shot of the convicted Nebraska child molester who a judge ruled was "too short" for prison. The Smoking Gun is there
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| (Some Tall Skinny White Guy) |
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New flash game from Eyezmaze, the maker of "Grow"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police force argument that speed cameras were installed to reduce accidents somewhat shot to hell by evidence that not one is pointing at any of the 10 most dangerous roads in the city
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| (Some artiste) |
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Paintings inspired by video games including "Duck Hunt" and "Counter Strike." Dada cheers; Impressionism surrenders
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Photoshop Tom Hanks
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Floridians support a lifting of the ban on drilling for oil within 100 miles of the coast by a 51-42 percent majority. The remaining seven percent apparently voted for Nader
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| (CBS13) |
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Physics teacher has been conducting a hig school experiment with his students for 14 years. The experiment is to gauge bullet speed by firing a carbine into a block of wood. One parent complains. Experiment shot to hell
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| (KSHB.com) |
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Sprint/Nextel sues after it finds out outsourcing didn't save any money
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| (KXTV) |
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First it was Seymour the Seal. Then it was Harriet the Hare. They almost got Pickles the Pig, too. For some reason, thieves keep stealing carousel's animals
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| (Some Guy) |
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House Judiciary Committe votes in favor of keeping the Net neutral. All our internets still not belonging to the telecoms
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| (Longmont FYI) |
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Colorado Quarter artist admits plagiarizing Long's Peak
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| (UC Berkely) |
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Berkeley student petitions U.S. post master for stamp dedicated to inflammatory bowel disease. And you think the normal ones taste bad
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Taxpayers owe $510,678 per household to cover retirement benefits for "boomers." Now get off my lawn, kid
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"On Monday, a half-dozen protesters beheaded a chicken and drank its blood to show local authorities that poultry was not the source of the problem." Controversy solved
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| (Durham Herald-Sun) |
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North Carolina kids rushed to hospital after spraying each other with stolen mercury
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| (Depressed Citizen) |
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Red Bull sues bar for using competitor's product in mixed drinks. Piss manufacturers considering similar lawsuit over use of Coors
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If you're being supplied a free lawyer to defend you for assault, you might not want to backhand your lawyer in court. The lawyer-beatings trifecta is now in play
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Coffee shop in Nashville receives photo of stolen nun-bun with Philadelphia postmark. Priory of Scone alerted
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Apparently only coffin dodgers vote for American Idol, once again proving that the real target audience couldn't give a rats ass about American Idol
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| (SeacretsLive.com) |
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Reminder: Drew will be at the "Midlantic" Fark Party this Saturday at 4pm at Seacrets in Ocean City, MD. RSVP on the thread or through email, please. Link goes to a blog with more info
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Now that Enron's out of the way, what about the other eight high-profile corporate scandals of recent years? Here's an update
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GM's master plan -- fire permanent employees, replace them with temps. Craptastic cars will create other temps known as "customers"
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| (TaxProfBlog) |
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IRS to stop collecting 3% "luxury" tax on long distance phone calls, originally passed to pay for the Spanish-American war in 1898; total refund will be more than $15 billion
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Only phone company to join lawsuit against NSA enjoying surge in new subscribers
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Bush intervenes on LA Congressman's FBI raid. General public, however, must fend for itself against NSA. (no link yet; breaking news)
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Canada releases suspected al-Qaeda member Mohamed Harkat from jail with promise to never talk to Islamic extremists again. That should work
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| (channeloklahoma.com) |
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"It is not unusual for seismologists to have dynamite." Of course when you get fired, it isn't advisable to just leave it laying around a hotel parking lot, either
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Mountaineer Mark Inglis wants to talk in private to Sir Edmund Hillary about the decision not to help an English climber who lay dying on Mount Everest. Five bucks on the old coot kicking the cripple's ass
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John McCain introduces bill allowing cable customers to choose their own channels. Bloomberg Television surrenders
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| (Some Guy) |
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No changes to headline needed: Police doughnut-eating contest looks to expand
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Study shows that women may need all the chocolate they can get their hands on
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Hooker caught operating out of HoJo's, selling her own version of the Clam Roll (with pics)
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Unable to find 12-year-old girl or feeble old person, Florida Deputy tasers himself
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| (Border Mail, Australia) |
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Student protestors dressed up as koala discover that they are no match for breasts
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Surprisingly, most of the worst polluted beaches in California are miles away from any population centers. No, just kidding; they're in Los Angeles
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Man walks into store wearing a mask and points rifle at clerk and demands money, claims he's "only kidding" then buys a soda and leaves
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| (Starpulse.com) |
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German farmer auctioning toilet seat used by Paris Hilton. All germs and STDs included if you use "buy it now"
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Teeage girls posting on MySpace saying they can't get enough sex, and they are a slut and a whore isn't really all that surprising; until you find out they are Marie Osmond's kids
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Bad Career Moves: 1. Becoming a newspaper reporter. 2. Writing anonymous letter to Pulitzer Prize board, criticizing your newspaper's entry. 3. Admitting #2 to your editors
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Couple glad to see 'American Idol' season end; hope calls from stray fans will stop
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Former Space Camp instructor predicts massive tsunami in the Atlantic today, caused by a comet impact. EVERYBODY PANIC
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| (Glasgow Herald) |
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South African rugby player visiting Scotland jumps in a cab, asks to go to "Fort William." Cabbie takes him for $900, 300-mile, eight-hour trip around the country -- to Port William
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| (KTHV Little Rock) |
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When transporting a quarter million dollars worth of cocaine and marijuana, try not to draw attention to yourself. You know, by doing things like driving at night without your lights on
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| (CJP.org) |
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Parachutist is blown off course, directly over top-secret Israeli nuclear facility. Two F-16 fighters dispatched to ensure hilarity
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If you're pleading "not guilty" to murder charges, you might not want to attempt to strangle your lawyer in court
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Enron founder Ken Lay and former CEO Jeff Skilling found guilty of being first degree dickbags
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| (Right turn) |
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Photoshop these soccer-playing orangutangs
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"Yes sir, your $96-million water bill is a computer error"
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Former Met Bud Harrelson compares future razing of Shea Stadium to the WTC
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| (NBC6) |
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Defendant hires lawyer No. 10 and may actually answer charges from 1988 sometime soon, unless he doesn't like this attorney either
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| (WBIR-TV) |
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Tennessee is the sportsman's paradise, where soon you will not have to leave your truck to hunt
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No matter how bad their sales get, at least GM can rely on the booming Iraqi assassination getaway-car market
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Stuttering pill shows pr-pr-pr, shows pr-pr-pr, looks good
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Prostitution legalization campaign doomed to failure, because it would take all the fun out of it
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Man attempts to smuggle drugs in luggage by packing heroin-filled condoms inside jars of pickled fish. Since you're reading it here, you can guess how well it went
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Farker Arched wins Wired Rave Award for post-Katrina rebuilding effort
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| (Lincoln Journal Star) |
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Unaware that men like a tight fit, female judge refuses to send child molestor to prison because he is too small
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Teens concoct cunning plan to extort $150,000 from MySpace, post plan on MySpace
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Law passed to stop people jumping off bridges. Problem solved
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Hundreds of non-Farkers pay $150 and more to find out what goes on inside the mind of a dog. Your dog wants steak
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It's now okay for British females to sunbathe naked in their own gardens, even if it "shakes" and "upsets" their prudish male neighbours
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Census Bureau reports median age of first marriage for women is nearly 26 years old. Apparently taking longer to wear men down into simpering nancy-boys
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Amtrak NY-D.C. rail service halted due to a problem somewhere between Washington and New York. Well that's real specific
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| (The Brownsville Herald) |
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"By showing a little of our skin today, we hope to help save animals' skins all year long." Pretty pointless but you can appreciate the effort
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| (PugBus) |
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Charlie Sheen sees Barbaro breakdown conspiracy
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Having rid Chicago of corruption, gangs and crime, aldermen to bring peace to neighborhoods by establishing 10-minute time limit on dogs barking. Plan to impound noisy ice-cream trucks for good measure
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| (Somerset County Register) |
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Nightclub's event promoted as a "tasteful" night involving bikini-clad dancers in a "shower room" turns into a shocking lesbian sex show, whodathunkit?
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| (The West Virginia Record) |
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Woman sues employer after she was called a "no-good bitch" and fired. Driving home the original point
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| (Some Guy) |
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"She burnt my steak" is an inadequate defense to stabbing your girlfriend 32 times
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Fark favourite Kari Byron poses for FHM (SFW)
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Bazooka Joe to get an extreme makeover to try and give him more "street cred"
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The stolen 600-pound Buddha has been returned. Submitter knows you were losing sleep worrying
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14.5 feet long and 1,262 pounds
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| (The Local) |
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Stockholm hit by earthquake overnight. Swedish police send helicopter out to look for it
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Bat and robin caught in flypaper. You know The Sun will be there with a camera and a pun you could see coming even without sonar
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Some guy re-enacts the shopping mall chase from "The Blues Brothers"
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| (WSB TV) |
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Two women, 68 and 46, accused of stealing $13,000 worth of yarn. That's a lot of sweaters
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this hail-storm enthusiast
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Star Trek "Klingon" sword confiscated by British police. With pic that you absolutely have to see to believe
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| (farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 55: "Staplers & staples." Link goes to next week's contest. Please read first post
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| (WCBS 880) |
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Dumb: Trying to smuggle nine tons of fireworks into the New York metro area in a truck. Dumber: Attracting police attention by tailgating as you're doing it. Dumbest: The truck you're tailgating happens to be a fuel tanker-trailer
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Playing vinyl records with a laser: is it wrong?
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| (IndustryWeek) |
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The arrogance of ignorance: A new generation of the serenely clueless is ready, willing and able to destroy your company
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| (Flickr) |
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Caption this prairie dog
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Canadian prime minister refuses to give any more national press conferences; stamps foot, insists reporters are doo-doo heads
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"Second Life" user creates video game inside video game, thereby proving that he had no "first life" to begin with
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| (tusconcitizen.com) |
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It's now officially illegal to have sex with sheep in Arizona. Must happen so much that there needs to be a law
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Once again, California wines win taste test in France. It's like a black fly in their chardonnay
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| Wed May 24, 2006 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Gnomes spark huge outcry at Chelsea Flower Show as expert calls them "hideous" creations that do not belong at world's most presigious garden show. Drew's garden gnome still unavailable for rebuttal
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| (WNEP.com) |
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Police cruiser gets stuck in newly poured concrete (with pic). You just can't make up stuff like this
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Seven countries fork over 10€ billion to find out nuclear fusion doesn't work
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America crowns its Idol (contains spoilers)
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| (KitchenOfLove) |
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Ever dream of having Fabio read sultry kitchen magnets to you? Well dream no more. Welcome to the Kitchen Of Love©
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If you are a swanky spa, it's better not to invite husbands to join even swankier sex club (with Stanford girls), via letters opened by their wives
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On the eve of latest Marvel franchise release, test your knowledge of the X-Men
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Theme: What did Shamus the Gnome do on his "vacation"? Difficulty: No Middle-Earth references
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| (Silicon India) |
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Hindu woman claims she's Jesus
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Fine dining thy name is Costco
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| (Some Guy) |
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Eight recently graduated students arrested for wearing dark clothes and masks and squirting people with water guns
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Name: Joan Baez | Occupation: Singer | Address: In a tree
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The latest trend at the Cannes Film Festival? Porn
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| (Some Guy) |
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Do not leave $1.2 billion in a motel room with a faulty electrical system to go drink in your car
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Jealous of the "Florida" tag, 10 other states sign up for use of deadly force in hopes that they can generate more Fark headlines. Next week: Free Taser giveaway
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| (4 8 15 16 23 42) |
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"Lost" season finale discussion thread. The "24" finale thread will look like a wieners link by comparison
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| (PhysOrg) |
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Nutritional scientists calculate the total cost of super-sizing your meals, including the extra gas you'll have to put in your car to haul your fat ass around
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| (Some TFette) |
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Ugly-ass baby gazelle born at Florida zoo (with pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ugly-ass baby lobster found... and it's blue. With adorable pics
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| (Some Guy) |
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Court rules that Marineland employees can no longer beat the crap out of guy who protests on public property
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Michigan bakery unveils Jimmy Hoffa cupcakes, complete with green hand emerging from chocolate springkles on top
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| (Some Guy) |
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Some bars in New York's Nassau County are putting thin lenticular plastic inserts just above urinal drains. They automatically detect your presence and flash and broadcast anti-drunk driving images and messages. True streaming media
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Photos illustrating AT&T's phone- and Internet-tracking activities for NSA
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| (The Rude Pundit) |
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CNN gives up even pretending anymore, shows footage from "Lost" as news. Must be sweeps
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How Google beat the mainstream papers on the Web
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Fox News: "Al Gore's global warming movie: Could it destroy our economy?"
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| (NBC4) |
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Real life, armed secret-service agent has his Hummer hijacked. Agent Pierce shakes his head in disgust
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Everest conqueror Sir Edmund Hillary has denounced fellow Kiwi climbers for leaving an Englishman to die alone just below the summit. In related news, Sir Edmund Hillary still alive
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| (Some Guy) |
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Do your best or worst attempt at covering Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me With Science." He saw the last PS contest, so he'll probably get to hear your submissions, too
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| (New Haven Register) |
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Girl accuses cabbie of "rape" to avoid paying fare, may get a real PMITA-prison experience instead. Kobe and Duke lacrosse team applaud
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| (RockyMtnNews) |
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Can you guess the inappropriate high school graduation gift from the following list? A) Brandy snifter. B) Martini glass. C) Shot glass. D) All of the above
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Armed video-store patron upset that "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo" was out on rental, hilarity ensues
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| (The Roanoke Times) |
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Sorry to disappoint everyone, but the Snakehead fish caught in Virginia was actually just an American Eel
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Cleveland Cavs to city: We need money more than your public schools do
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| (RCR News) |
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The FCC will not investigate NSA phone record collection because the NSA has deemed the project "classified". Tie between "scary" and "obvious" leads to "followup"
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WHO says the report of human-to-human bird flu transmission in Indonesia is credible, but they aren't yet ready to change the global pandemic threat level from "everybody panic" to "I don't want to die a virgin"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this cosplayer
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| (Cybersmack!) |
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TFer's video "No Budget Film Channel" -- originally made for a Fark VideoEdit contest -- is one of 10 finalists up for a $25,000 prize, help him win
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Miscommunication thwarts Baton Rouge hurricane drill. Anyone surprised by this will get what they deserve
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Woman gets too close to a candle, winds up setting her hair on fire, which in turn sets her house on fire
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| (RGJ) |
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Man pulled over for a traffic violation ends up being jailed for 12 offenses, one of them being possession of nunchaku nunchucks
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Dominican flag to fly on the space shuttle, most likely draped across the hood
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| (WYFF) |
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South Carolina's lieutenant governor gives flying a try after getting caught speeding numerous times on the interstate. That flying thing doesn't work out too well, either
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| (Some Guy) |
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Middle school science experiment causes 10-acre fire, evacuation of school
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| (Some Guy) |
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Male student barred from senior prom for wearing fuschia dress. Basic black would have gotten him in
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Student decides to speak the truth at high school graduation. Hilarity ensues
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| (Press & Journal) |
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Chainsaw? Check. Bottle of vodka? Check. Dumbass? Check. Let's roll
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Air Force begins recruiting supercross riders, which means that we're one step closer to unveiling MegaForce
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| (Las Vegas Review-Journal) |
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Following home invasion and robbery, woman gets in her car and follows thieves. She's got more guts than brains, but it worked. Jailarity ensued
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Boo Boo the Resuscitated Chicken dies. She will be annointed with a rosemary-and-thyme infusion and then be cremated at 375 degrees for 75 to 90 minutes
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Study says playing Super Monkey Ball for 20 minutes before surgery makes for better surgeons, so don't be surprised if you wake up with a banana-shaped scar
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For some reason, debate rages whether mountains depicted on Colorado's quarter are real or not
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| (Some Guy) |
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Oil prices fall due to ...*shakes Magic 8-Ball*... love? Who's been screwing with this thing?
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Mexico's Fox denounces border fences... except for the one between Mexico and the rest of Central America
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Hillary Clinton backs return to 55-mph speed limit
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Family values" candidate is $7000 behind in his child support
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Duke rape case lascrosstitute has given multiple stories to police, denied any rape occured at least once, and has changed the number of attackers. Duke isn't the only thing sucking down there
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USPS allows companies to create their own postage stamps with their corporate logo. Hewlett-Packard has already signed on, but Microsoft not expected to take part as market research shows consumers spit on the wrong side
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| (gulf-times.com) |
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Germans so excited by first bear to prowl their soil in 170 years they decide to shoot it. Bear returns to its native Austria. Austrians decide to shoot it
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Man arrested for stealing artificial vagina from sex shop risks becoming one in prison (last item)
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Vonage shares drop three percent after IPO. Woohoo Woohoohoo
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Industrial-arts teacher gets drunk on cognac at school and then fondles 13-year-old girl. Senatorial campaign bid expected at any moment
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"Guest workers" under new immigration bill will get union wages and can't be fired. Why not just go ahead and make them federal bureaucrats?
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Stop me if you heard this one before: An Edvard Munch painting has been stolen
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Hurricanes could push Canadian gas prices to $1.30/litre. Go Sabres go
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If you see 20 red-faced women lying on damp grass of London park juggling newborn babies, it's simply the newest wacky craze in Britain
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| (Austin American Statesman) |
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Since early this morning the temperature has risen 10 degrees. At this rate we will all be dead by the end of the day
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World powers meet on Iran crisis. The "crisis" is that Iran is not yet a smoldering crater
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Polk County getting sued by family that says deputy chased boys to sexually assault them -- based on the lost porno version of "Dukes of Hazzard"
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Huge fire at Istanbul (not Constantinople) Airport, halting air traffic
|
| (Some Old Guy) |
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Photoshop this dolphin rider
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| (KOAT) |
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Having solved all other problems, Rhode Island's Department of Environmental Management has banned the use of gold fish as freshwater bait
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| (Some Guy) |
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Saturday, June 3rd. Chicago Fark Party at Fizz. DIT, LGT map. Drew will be there
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Kraft profits spread a little thin, employees cheesed off, offered a peanut butter and redundancy sandwich
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Woman's toes licked by man hiding under her car at Wal-Mart
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Ugly-ass baby turtle born at British zoo (with pic)
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Clergyman busted for extorting money from illegal immigrants so they could stay in the country. Plans to use the "hey, at least I wasn't with children" defense
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Late-for-Work Excuse, No. 3219: "Got stuck in traffic while alligator crossed turnpike"
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Meter maid writes up parking tickets for legally parked cars while she is sitting in her car, parked in a handicapped spot, miles away from the "violations" she is writing people up for
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GM offers gas-price cap of $1.99 per gallon for SUV buyers, still no cure for crappy business planning
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Bible-college student uses roommate's debit card to run up $2350 in phone-sex charges. It's so hot when it's so forbidden
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As Edmonton Oilers go deep into playoff series with Anaheim, Canadian city reports it is running out of beer
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American cowards' reunion set for this summer in Vancouver, B.C.
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Dumbass burglar tries to kick in family's front door, then tries to smash the window in with a bicycle. By the time he got in, the 15-year-old son had loaded dad's gun and had a few surprises waiting for him
|
| (ajc.com) |
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McDonald's and Chick-fil-A to have chicken-sandwich war. Your dog wants steak instead
|
| Tue May 23, 2006 |
| (Awwww) |
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Ugly-ass baby seal pup rescued from death. With adorable pics
|
| (Some Old Guy) |
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This soup needs some more ingredients
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Several Congressional leaders denounce FBI raids on their offices, giving the FBI a good idea on who to look into next
|
| (Flickr) |
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Caption this doll
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 |
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TFer Wil gets his geek on at E3
|
| (dgc360) |
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The final "American Idol" thread
|
| (Billings Gazette) |
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Redneck civilization evolving more rapidly than previously thought as yokels conduct demolition derby with gigantic grain harvesters
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New 7 World Trade Center opens for business as Bin Laden continues to rot in his cell... oh, wait...
|
| (Wikipedia) |
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A lengthy explanation of the seven forms of lightsaber combat. No explanation given for lengthy presence in mom's basement
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NFL rules that Reggie Bush can't wear No. 5. Someone had to explain to Bush what no means since he had never heard it before
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Ban on cellphones on a plane may be lifted. Still no cure for snakes on a plane
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The results are in, and it's official: Just over 60 percent of students from everyone's favorite wang can read
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Scientists developing new "super broccoli" capable of conquering worlds, rock you like a hurricane
|
| (Some Guy) |
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If you must steal a "king-size" nine-inch rubber penis from a sex store, don't go back to shop in the same store two weeks later with the thing in your car
|
| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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The annual waste-of-space report from AAA telling us that lots of people will be on the road this Memorial Day is here
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About that guy arrested in the Netherlands in connection with the dead white girl in Aruba -- nevermind
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Vonage set for $500 milion IPO despite investor skepticism. Doo doo, doodoodoo
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Budget airline boss vows to walk naked through airport terminal if competing airline drops the fuel surcharge on its tickets
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V'ger, heading the wrong direction, still wishes to join with The Creator
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In his latest press release, Osama bin Laden claims that Zacarias Moussoui was innocent; votes for Taylor Hicks on "American Idol"
|
| (WSMV) |
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USA's most bad-assed grandma discovered in Clinton, Tennessee. Ninety-two years young and still able to wound two relatives with just one shot from her hand cannon
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