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| Sun May 14, 2006 |
| (The Phoenix) |
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Another pretentious top 10 list (this time tv season finales), but don't pretend you won't look to see what's on it
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Gourmet pizza versus traditional pizza pie debate. w/bonus recipe goodness
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| (3rd World Farmer) |
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How many years can you keep your 3rd world farm running? Another addicting flash game
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ben Bova: "Kids today don't know what good music is"
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| (Some Drinking Guy) |
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Submit rules for tomorrow night's Bush Immigrant Speech Drinking Game. Wife got hammered during the State of the Union Game
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Super Bowl champion quarterback Big Ben Roethlisberger's unsteady scooter ride
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Scientists, delaying cancer research, grow a crop of rice capable of eradicating diarrhea. The kicker: it's made of people. PEOPLE
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Canadian's enjoyment of group sex and partner swapping on an upswing. Long, cold winters not so frigid anymore
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| (Some Guy) |
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Welcome to Martha's Vineyard. Enjoy the sand, the celebrities, the landscapers coughing up blood from the effects of rabbit fever
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Cos tells it like it is one more time
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Georgia governor throws bitchin' post-prom party at his mansion, complete with inflatable obstacle courses, video games and food provided by Waffle House
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Just in time for Mother's Day, woman kidnapped as toddler 30 years ago found alive and well
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| (KeloLand.com) |
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Commandment number 11 - Thou shalt not let beer go to waste. Even as the cops are busting your party
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| (IMC) |
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All newborns to be microchipped
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Bird flu in Africa sparks a dance craze with partygoers trembling, flapping their arms and clucking like dying chickens
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| (Daily Mail (UK)) |
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BBC interviews cab driver, thinking he's an expert on copyright law (with video)
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| (Sci tech today) |
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Sony's Playstation 3 will sport a processing-performance level of 16 teraflops
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Canadian navy shopping for 25-year-old electrical parts to use on its "new" submarines because attempting to install modern equipment tends to cause "catastrophic damage"
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Game: come up with the most legitimate sounding word that produces zero Google search results. Voting enabled, link goes to example
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| (NZ Nerald) |
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FCUK can't sell clothes even when they use erotic battling lesbians. Another French fad surrenders
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| (Resipisco) |
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Is the press at war with America?
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Top 5 TV moms of all time
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If you had an assload of money, you'd probably do what this guy did and bolt a 1974 Lamborghini to the wall of your mansion too
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| (Some Guy) |
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Heck's Angels scooter driver subdued by angry mob after terrorizing German town
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Dumbasses refuse to evacute farms despite volcano spewing large clouds of gas: "My feeling is it will not blow at this time"
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| (Sunday Mirror) |
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Artist creates an 8ft tall sculpture of a nude woman made from 4,200 Scrabble tiles - worth more than 76,000 points. That's a lot of wood
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Homeowners associations banning residents from leaving hurricane shutters up, no matter how many cyclones hit
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Bush scheduled to address nation tomorrow, so make those alternative TV plans now
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| (Some pseudoscientists) |
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Get a graduate degree in creationism online for only $8500. You will, of course, make it all up by your first revival and after the money will just roll on in as you fleece the flock
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Top "shameless exploitation of the issue by politicians" now is restricting what communities sex offenders can live
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| (New York Post) |
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Man bites off own tongue, spits it at cops. Police say he has the right to remain silent
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| (Some Guy) |
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Bananas on slippery slope to extinction
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A shortage of jail beds puts career criminals back on the streets, where they often commit new offenses. Lets go arrest some more pot smokers
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Not news: Airplane crashes at air show. News: It crashes into crowd. Weird: It was a model airplane. Fark: It still killed two
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Blowing your self up at a wedding after getting rejected by the bride is not a smart idea
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| (Some Guy) |
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Rock solid "Viagra defense" scores big in 4-hour court session
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Kites
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Huntington Beach, CA, wins battle to call itself "Surf City". City council can now begin work on "two girls for every boy" initiative
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| (www.thestate.com) |
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Having fixed all of the problems in South Carolina, a senator spends $100 million dollars on preserving a civil war submarine
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| (Star Tribune) |
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Not to be out done in the stupid department, two teens arrested after braging about arson on MySpace
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| (The Local) |
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Tour guide refuses to stop coach trip to let dead pensioner off
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| (KeloLand.com) |
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What do you get when you mix alcohol, a car, and a large brick school house? About 3-5 years
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| (Crooks and Liars) |
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SNL: If Al Gore Were President
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| (NBC4 DC) |
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If hiding from the police on a murder charge, you better think of a better hiding place than "donut shop"
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Happy Mother's Day
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop a Mother's Day card
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| (Some Butterfly Wannabe) |
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Photoshop this caterpillar
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The U.S. Government is sending mentally ill soldiers into combat in Iraq. Seems only fitting for a mentally ill foreign policy
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| (Some Pilot Guy) |
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How thick should the asphalt be under the 45 million dollar Gulfstream Jet that you just parked on? I dunno either, but it should be thicker than this
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Canned oxygen, coming to a 7-11 near you
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| (Syracuse.com) |
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Apparently, amnesty no longer actually involves amnesty, so if you possess any grenades from a recent deployment overseas, just pretend that there is nothing to see here and move along
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Chemistry professor walks the extra mile trying to get an ounce of respect for the metric system
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Turns out Britain's new high-tech license-plate recognition cameras can racial profile as well as any human police officer
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British researchers find that Barbie's perfect figure leads to unrealistic expectations in young English girls; "Malibu Barbie's Dental Clinic" just twists the knife in the wound
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Peugeot workers demonstrate to convince buyers not to buy Peugeot cars because Peugeot is closing plant because people are not buying enough Peugeots. The circle of failure is complete
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| (Phoenix New Times) |
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Oh there he is, your Komodo dragon. And he's delicious
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| Sat May 13, 2006 |
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Naked swordfighting chicks fight AIDS.(possibly Not safe for work pic)
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| (Sign on San Diego) |
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Movie theater plans to sell beer. What could possibly go wrong?
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Allah sends Koranic message to Kenya by way of a tuna. Now he'll never get that smell out of the ocean
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Combine any nursery rhyme with your favorite rock song
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| (WEAU) |
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Stolen mermaid case sounds fishy. With very-difficult-to-read article
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'Amazon Stonehenge' found in Brazil. In other news Spinal Tap contemplates reunion for concept album and stage show
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| (af.mil) |
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Photoshop this guy inspecting an F-16 engine
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| (Toledo Tales) |
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7-Eleven clerk pissed that no one notices his brilliance
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| (CTV News) |
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Massive rock falls from Mt St Helens. Giant fly seen leaving vicinity
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| (Southern Illinoisian) |
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Pastor charged with battery after spanking 13-year-old girl with wood because he didn't believe her sexual abuse claim
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| (Some Guy) |
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Top 10 strangest robots
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| (Some Motorhead) |
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Car mag performs test to see what cars get the highest mileage in real life. The winner is not the Prius. Winner heard muttering "oh, snap" with a German accent
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| (News-Press) |
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Possible record breaking 750lb hammerhead shark caught off the coast of Florida (w pic)
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| (EADT) |
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Bad: Car crashes. Better: Good Samaritan stops to help. Fark.com: Injured occupants of crashed car steal good samaritan's car
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| (The Eagle) |
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Don't sell stolen beer in a high school
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Sydney bars not going to get away with selling watered down drinks anymore
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$160 Kobe burgers are selling like hot potatoes in Ireland
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| (LA Times) |
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Problem: thousands of high school students are failing a basic exit exam. Solution: get rid of the exit exam. Accountability surrenders
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| (Some Guy) |
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Power outage causes airport to flood with foam (w/pic)
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Arizona man whose body is 85 per cent covered in tattoos petitions court to let him legally change his name to The Scary Guy. The Smoking Gun is there
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| (Global Research) |
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"Electromagnetic Weapons can and will wipe out mankind after they assassinate individual dissidents by sudden heart failure, mysterious airplane and automobile crashes, choking, suicides and other types of 'natural' deaths"
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Ukrainian mayor announces that he is available to personally listen to residents' complaints, not for a moment thinking that thousands of people would show up at his office to take up his offer
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| (Impact Lab) |
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Latest trend in China is team buying where groups first meet online and then show up at the store as a group to haggle for a better price
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| (chronicle of higher ed) |
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A freshman at Carnegie Mellon has the dubious distinction of being the "only student majoring in bagpipes at any American university or college."
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this hip party goth
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| (Some Aviation Guy) |
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Coolest photo you will see today: Blue Angels #5 at Mach 1.....at an altitude of 30 feet
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Four men attempt "Mission: impossible" style break-in at medicinal marijuana clinic, find out it isn't possible
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| (Portsmouth News) |
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Local officials can't figure out why seawater is flooding their moat, express concern that all that water might be hurting the fish
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| (Some Guy) |
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Women in bikinis solving math problems score lower than same women fully clothed. Men in speedos own competition and sadly, still no cure for cancer
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Sunbathing naked or topless poses great danger for women
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18-year-old girl to get MBA from Indiana University of Pennsylvania, will now embark on quest to marry Doogie Howser
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Gold may reach $1,000 an ounce in foreseeable future
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Putin calls USA 'a hungry wolf that eats and listens to no one'
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| (Courier-Journal) |
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Finally there is a medieval combat society for nerds who really don't want to risk getting hurt
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| (Some Guy) |
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From the guy who tried to kill UNC students with his ride: "I aimed to exact casualties from an enemy responsible for thousands of casualties among Allah's followers."
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| (Huntsville Times) |
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Worried school officials expecting over-the-top senior pranks this year. Seniors, don't let them down
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Spanish women to get their own stud farm packed with hot stallions
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Under new rules, lobbying groups wishing to bribe Congress must call themselves "think tanks"
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| (wish-tv) |
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Since their previous boycotts of films such as Life of Brian, Last Temptation of Christ, and Dogma have caused those films to be all but forgotten, the Catholic church prepares to boycott the Da Vinci Code
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| (Boston Herald) |
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Federal government plans $1 per month tax on telephone numbers. To complain, just talk into your phone. They're listening
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Class VolcanoEruptApp { public static void main(String[] args) { System.out.println("Volcano about to erupt");}}
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this guarded fallen tree
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Man farts during surgery to remove piles, ass catches on fire - Jamie and Adam skeptical, organise re-enactment
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| (Fox 19) |
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If you were at the UC Library recently, and happened to cop a nut in a strange woman's shoe, the police would like to converse with you
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| (www.jtlusk.com) |
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If your dog is being a bitch, there's a radio station to put her in a better mood. Radio for the dogs
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Group attempts to set Guiness record for world's largest hurricane party Saturday night in Tampa. Never mind there's no hurricane anywhere, and all of New Orleans claimed the title last year
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| Fri May 12, 2006 |
| (Proud Uncle) |
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Marine on a bike somewhere in Iraq (all entries will be added to his scrap book)
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Mom infuriated that Busch Gardens says her six-year-old got hurt on flume ride because she was too fat. Oompa Loopas singing little moral ditty as they left did not help matters
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Amazonian tribe discovers welfare beats looking for nuts and getting shot at by coca farmers
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| (wjz.com) |
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MD police investigating "strong odor" find 57 dogs inside home. Animal hoarding trifecta complete
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Lawyers hire lawyers to fight new bankruptcy law claiming it says they can't be lawyers
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Don't you hate it when you have to apologize for your wife stripping naked on a radio show? Yeah, so does this police detective
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Pentagon considers sending troops to another arid desert where they can fight a losing war against a determined enemy: the Mexican border
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America's Top 7 Stonehenge Replicas, from Carhenge to Stonefridge
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| (Some Guy) |
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Couple marry at Jelly Belly store as wife prepares for what her husband will be packing five years out
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| (Some Guy) |
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Truck full of beer spills on Interstate. Since it's only that nasty ass Michelob Ultra, no need for Sad tag
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| (TextileAffairs.com) |
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Finally, a guide to those laundry hieroglyphics
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"Emily" and "Jacob" most popular baby names last year as "Osama" and "Ilsa, She-Wolf Of The SS" fail to make up expected ground
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Company to make diamond out of Beethoven's hair, saying the diamond will be like when you put your head to the grass and you can hear the growin' and you can hear the insects. Do you like Beethoven?
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Children in Georgia school will still be able to read Harry Potter because contrary to one mother's belief, "students do understand the difference between fact and fiction." Florida tag wishes this had happened 1 state over
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Revenue-hungry New York City police are waiting near restaurants hoping to catch a car illegally parked in the moment between the owner getting out and the valet parker getting in
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Armless man charged with dangerous driving after being caught driving with his feet. He didn't have a driver's license either
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| (Palm Beach Post) |
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"Under a mess of highway overpasses where the Broward County suburbs meet the Everglades, a pig's lung tied to an empty soda bottle bobbed gently in a canal on Thursday afternoon."
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Paris Hilton's boobs are getting bigger (sfw)
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Sensing a dwindling number in the M28-54 w/small penises demographic, GM announces end to Hummer H1
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| (WPRI) |
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Second leg of the trifecta: 65 cats removed from a house in Rhode Island. Not including the seven dead ones in the freezer
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Some of baseball's wackiest promotions, including Free Vasectomy Night and Mime-O-Vision
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Fatigue to blame for low SAT scores. Also, dog ate homework, got VD from toilet seat
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British man breaks world icewater swim record by swimming almost a mile in a Norwegian fjord. He reports there is greatly reduced drag when your testicles physically retreat into your body
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Ford Motor Company chairman takes it on the chin at stockholder's meeting. Stockholders taking it in the rear
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| (Some Guy) |
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Actual headline: "Coalition of willing against EU in online-porn dispute"
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| (Some Skirt) |
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Photoshop this gleaming rocket. Difficulty: No squirrels
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| (KOVR-13) |
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Gas prices got you down? Why not drill holes in other people's gas tanks and drain them?
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Chinese Navy / Don't want ugly draftees / Chinese Navy / Don't need short inductees / Chinese Navy / If you're rude, if you're crude, don't want you as a new recruit...
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Canada Customs gives UFIA to president of Senegal
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| (kcra) |
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Eight-week-old labrador retriever mix forced to ingest a fifth of vodka, survives
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| (Connecticut Post) |
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Investigation finds man died from "self inflicted" bullet wound. To the back of the head. While being chased by police
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Bikini-clad beauty queen protests something or other in front of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. If you look carefully, you might notice she's holding a sign. (With pic -- possibly NSFW)
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Screenhots: What Opera on the upcoming Nintendo Wii and DS Lite look like
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| (BostonChannel) |
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Police throw away old desk, forgetting about the $31,355 stashed inside. Desk now sitting under tons of garbage in landfill. Police chief: "We know where it is, we know what it is, but we can't get to it and neither can anybody else"
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| (TheStreet.com) |
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XM satellite's orbit decaying fast. Chicken Little wanted for questioning
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FBI raids home of former CIA No. 3
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San Diego congressman appeals to Bush to save giant cross. Hero, dumbass, whatever
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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New law will prevent accused drunk drivers from questioning the accuracy of breath test machines
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| (580 WDBO) |
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Carjacker running from police jumps fence into yard protected by pit bulls. Hilarity definitely ensues (with audio)
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Diebold quickly becoming the Microsoft of the electronic-voting world, with latest glitch in its touch-screen machines called "the most severe security flaw ever discovered in a voting system"
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Despite the fact that it's not yet a government agency, Wal-Mart threatens rural farmers with eminent domain to get their land
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| (Some Guy) |
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ORLY owl morphs into worm. RLY
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British bus company recruits 44 drivers from Poland. Hilarity ensues when they start asking passengers, "Do you know where we are?"
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Thief massages victim. Chiropractors everywhere realize the jig is up
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Evidently not aware of chihuahuas, Colombian police train rats to sniff out mines as normal dogs are heavy enough to set them off
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| (Some Guy) |
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With Iraq, Iran, N. Korea and gas prices fixed, Congress turns their steely gaze toward America's next largest threat: MySpace.com
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Insider-trading ring used strippers and magazine thieves also ring bribed grand juror for updates on white-collar investigations. Unfortunately no "shameless" tag
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After her previous undercover exposé uncovers shocking truth that fat people are mistreated and men like strippers, Tyra Banks now blows the lid off prison life: It sucks
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In important test case, judge rules e-mail spammers are no different than people who write malicious viruses and says they could face five years in jail
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Thieves steal more than $10,000 worth of brass toilet valves, leaving Hawaiians without a pot to piss in
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| (Examiner.com) |
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Shanghai to open "Human Zoo." -- "People like to watch them taking a shower, so they have to shower at least two times a day."
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What will give you more pleasure - a wife or a PS3? Here comes the economics
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Telephone poll finds 65% of Americans support NSA phone wiretaps
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Vegetarians a little short of critical amino acids to discern the humor in the statement "vegetarians should be force-fed lard". Freedom surrenders to tofu
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Mexican "Parents of the Year" candidates tried to sell their 4-month-old boy via the internet to somebody in Texas for $50,000
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British artist embarks on quest to free barren, uninhabited, ice-covered rock from the tyranny of Norway
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| (NBC4) |
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Law student with new car was "trying to impress his girlfriend" when police clocked him at 126 mph on George Washington Parkway. Well, it did get him on Fark, that'll impress her pants off too
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Much like American movie theaters, series of bombs hit Ethiopia's capital
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| (Farktography) |
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It's Farktography's one year anniversary on May 12. Come photoshop our stuff from this past week's contest
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| (Montrose Today) |
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Woman upset grocery store doesn't do more about the naked people having sex in the disabled toilet, apparently it scares her mother
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| (PinkNews) |
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Newsagent cheesed off by lesbian sandwich questions
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Tanker truck spills syrup all over German autobahn. French toast surrenders
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Who owns the Beach Boys' original hit music? Apparently a really greedy guy who bought it at a garage sale
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Comcast to make CBS shows available on demand. Now, all they need are some CBS shows worth demanding
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With no other problems left to solve in the socialist workers' paradise that is Cuba, Castro vows to crack down on vintage American cars being run as taxis
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Hamas proves to the world that it is not anti-Semitic by attempting to attack Jordan
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Your DNA could finger your relatives. At least it knows about foreplay
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| (Some Guy) |
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Intrepid customer asks AT&T what the hell they're doing
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Hamas edges closer to recognizing Israel. In other news, pigs edge closer to evolving into winged creatures
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Places you may not want to be when the Big One hits include Golden Gate Bridge after California contractor admits supplying substandard concrete to dozens of projects
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Nigerian Oil Pipeline Explodes, various casualties; one of which is the husband of a rich (now) widower who needs help getting his money out of that country safely
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Highly enriched uranium - possibly at or beyond weapons grade - found in Iran. "Peaceful purposes" my ass
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Gas prices reportedly dropping across most of country. Not so fast, California
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Proposed off-shore wind farm to double as deli specializing in thin-sliced rare bird
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City loses court battle, now owes strip club $1.4 million for revenue lost in crack-down
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If you're bidding on New Zealand on eBay, it's not really for sale
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US Army M1 tanks feature today's greatest technology, yet somehow, the driver couldnt see the side of the bridge
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| (Grand Forks Herald) |
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Judge upholds traffic stop based on a police officer's assumption that anybody driving after midnight must be drunk
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| (Some Guy) |
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Drew will be on Ticket 760 with Charlie and Chance at around 8:20am CST
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Pet tortoise's break for freedom foiled when he is discovered 2 miles from his owner's home after 8 months on the run
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Scientists give up on that cure for cancer thing, decide to study why rock bands take so long to get out on stage
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| (Some Weather Guy) |
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GreatLakes hurricane still spinning... but at least it's not snowing eh
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Blonde model falls out of New York bus after mistaking exit door for the bathroom
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More than 60% of Britons use screwdrivers, scissors, knives, keys, and earrings to floss. And you thought their dental hygiene was bad. Don't you feel silly now?
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Pissed off viewer forced to watch table tennis instead of cartoons sends TV station human remains
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Only in L.A. -- he's homeless, gets around town on a bicycle, sleeps in a laundromat, and is a Clippers season ticket holder; team official calls him "probably our most unique fan"
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J K Rowling: I've been having a hard time finding writing paper. Fans: Here, have 50 gazillion sheets, now STFU and GBTW
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| (Ike n Heels) |
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Tennis anyone? Photoshop this fine seating arrangement
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Young Americans continue the trend of the reverse commute. Though now, instead of commuting to the suburbs, young Americans are commuting to India to take their jobs back at call centers
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| (Some Guy) |
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Kingdom Coming: The Rise of Christian Nationalism
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| (Some Potographer) |
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Another pothead gets busted for bringing undeveloped pictures of his marijuana crop in for processing. It's seriously time go digital, dude
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| (Herald) |
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You hear a lot about how stupid politicians are. Only rarely does one stand up and say addicts should be given contraceptives with their methadone treatment so they don't breed
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| (Kos) |
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President Bush, "We do not mine data." General Hayden, Bush's nominee for CIA, "Last week we cemented a deal with another corporate giant to jointly develop a system to mine data"
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| (Examiner.com) |
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Neighbor calls police, upset about a dead cat in a driveway. He didn't know there were 60 others inside
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| (Some thing) |
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How to have a trailer park party. The goggles do nothing for the website
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Legislator proposes kicking the media out of the state capitol so the legislators could get a workout room
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Caption Bush and his youngest draftee
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| (Some Fox Guy) |
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Dignified, restrained British football fans to honor World Cup host country Germany by singing songs about World War II. What could possibly go wrong?
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| (Charlotte.com) |
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Two moms arrested after they jump on the school bus to tell bullies to back off
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| (Some Guy) |
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Check out this cool "castle" in Florida some guy just decided to make back in the day
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| (Some YouTube Guy) |
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At a recent con, Geek-week interviews a guy in a Joss Whedon costume who turns out to really be Joss Whedon
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NSA has "the largest database ever assembled in the world" of your phonecalls
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| (Some Embryo) |
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Raleigh-Durham Area Fark party: Saturday, May 20 at Brier Creek Carolina Ale House. Link goes to map
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| Thu May 11, 2006 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this city guy avoiding a puddle
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| (Some Guy) |
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It's 106 miles to Atlanta, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, we're wearing sunglasses and we left the cops in a cloud of heroin. Hit it
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| (wsbtv.com) |
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Construction crew in Altanta uncovers bank vault from the 1940's with everything in it including a snack machine
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| (Some Guy) |
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Norway's richest man no longer a Norwegian after switching citizenship to Cyprus to avoid income tax
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Picture of teen smoking pot on MySpace.com gets him arrested for possession of drugs, firearms and bomb-making paraphernalia
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"Paraplegic" woman who filed numerous fraudulent Disabilities Act lawsuits miraculously regains ability to leap from her wheelchair and flee the cops after being arrested
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A hundred, a hundred...do I hear 150? 150, 150...going once..going twi*BLAM*
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Purloined pony poop petrifies public; pilferer perplexes police
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"Million Little Pieces" author James Frey admits his other book may be a steaming pile of made-up crap as well
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| (Some GBA Guy) |
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Good bye GameBoy Advance, Wii hardly knew ye
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| (Some Guy) |
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Here's to you, Mr. "Clerk Won't Sell Me a Beer So I'll Kick Him in the Nuts and Pound His Head With a Jar of Salsa" Guy
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| (mediaweek.com) |
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Universal Music fined $12 million for manipulating "Total Request Live" and punishing us all with Lindsay Lohan
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| (WorldNetDaily) |
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Regarding Monday's story about the "gay brain" study -- according to the study's researcher, the AP got it wrong
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Today's "227 animals removed from urine-soaked house" story brought to you today by Hesperia, California. Pigs quoted as saying, "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others"
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| (AC-T) |
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Resisting arrest charge dropped against guy who had a police grenade lobbed into his house, explode on his lap and blow off his testicle. Judge says it was nuts
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| (Some Guy) |
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Tennessee passes law requiring 98-year-olds to provide proof of age before buying a beer
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| (Jennie Finch) |
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Softball pitcher Jennie Finch had a baby last week. And she looked pretty hot pregnant (SFW)
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| (Daily Post) |
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Four locals rob tourist after posing for a photo earlier in the day -- neglect to steal camera
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| (NewsNet 5) |
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Having solved all other problems, Ohio to make cellphone use an aggravated vehicular assault in a crash
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A newly discovered monkey in Africa gets to be the first monkey listed in a new genus in 83 years. Naturally, it will have to go on the endangered species list after that
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Twister touches down on Wizard of Oz Dr. Probably should have seen that coming
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| (Concord NH Monitor) |
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Fatcat lawmaker involved in hit-and-run. "This is not the kind of thing I do," probably referring to the Diet Coke he was drinking which caused him to crash
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| (Some Guy) |
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Quebec boy with rare condition sings for pope. Pope says he sings very well, but wants to know exactly what "my humps" means
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| (NBC 10) |
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Pug could become Delaware's state dog -- they're small, annoying and ugly. "An excellent representative of the state of Delaware and its people"
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| (Times Online) |
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"Tampon Rebels" are bloodied but hope to be soon extricated from their tainted situation
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| (Courant.com) |
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In direct opposition to the training and clearly established procedures, cop shoots another cop in the face with his taser gun, leaving him unable to finish his doughnut
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E3 booth babes: Then and now. (SFW)
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FEMA says it's ready for hurricanes. Anyone believe them?
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| (Some Evangelist) |
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Street evangelists don't change bypassers' opinions. In other news, bears poo in the woods
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| (Delaware Online) |
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Today's "bare man arrested for shouting obscenities in the middle of the street" story brought to you by Bear, Delaware
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Town saddened to learn that the nice stranger who showed up randomly was really a fleeing murderer who would win their hearts before leaving for PMITA prison
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| (WCPO) |
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Kentucky governor indicted for getting caught doing something all Kentucky governors have done: Hiring flunkies. Which apparently is a misdemeanor
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Man, 61, gets 30 years in prison for using the Bible to convince a 15-year-old girl to have sex with him
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| (Antigua Sun) |
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Nude intruder ordered to see doctor because they can clearly see he's nuts
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Home-improvement tip: Lacquer fumes and power tools don't mix
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these two guys and a dinosaur skull
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Why flying a Russian helicopter after hitting the vodka isn't a good idea
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OK, so now it looks like there might actually be DNA evidence linking one of the Duke players to raped stripper. "Followup" trumps "Obvious"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man charged with throwing bomb at his girlfriend claims he wasn't aiming at the beaver but a beaver's dam. "I ain't no terrorist...It was just a little boom thing."
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| (nbc5i.com) |
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Blue Angels responsible for Kelly Clarkson's latest release
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| (Your local radar) |
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Hurricane now forming in the great lakes region
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| (WGRZ NBC NY) |
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To their astonishment, town discovers gas boycotts don't work and that people may have to resort to conservation. Dumbass led in points 'til sneaky illegal knockout punch to back of head by Obvious
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| (Some Cat Guy) |
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Catproof your computer
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Asshat drops 45 baby chicks off balcony for senior prank, robbing from them a life of cages and hormones
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(r'/P71( (0/\/\PU73r j4r90|\| |33P$ p4r3|\|7$ U|\|1|\|Ph0r/\/\3D
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McDonald's unveils panel for food advice. Mayor McCheese presides over opening ceremonies headlined by some clown
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| (Sports Illustrated) |
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SI makes it known of their opinion of Nick Lachey and Matt Leinart...right click the picture, select save as...preselected save names are priceless
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Israel releases money it had withheld from the Hamas led Palestinian Authority. Snowball fight scheduled to be held in front of Lucifer's place after the flying pigs land
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Twelve mile stretch of I-95 in Florida to be closed, causing the drug trade on the East Coast to slow slightly
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| (GaidinBDJ) |
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Reminder: Albany Fark party this Saturday, May 13th, 9:00 p.m. Link goes to more info
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| (google) |
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New feature in Google lets you track what regions of the world search for the most. Most searches for "sex"? Muslim countries
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| (College Humor) |
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The best part of amateur boxing is that no one knows how to block
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Noodle shop accused of aiding drunk driving. That's because nobody left the place soba
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After five long, grueling months, Nashville city council decides voting against free food for council members at local events is bad for the city's future
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Complaints to airplane authorities include the man whose lobsters died while illegally hidden in his lost suitcase, and a guy who wanted a free trip around the world because the different melons in his fruit cup all tasted the same
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| (Some Guy) |
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Chicago police says that the fact that suspects can escape from police wagon is a "design flaw"
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Tom Cruise's approval rating still four points higher than Bush's
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English soccer club's plan to sell seats from old stadium shelved after finding they could damage the balls men play with OFF the field. Of course, the Sun is there
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| (Some Downboy) |
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Reminder: DC/NoVa/MD Fark Party. Saturday, May 13th. LGT NSFW graffiti at Massachusetts & Rhode Island
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DJ fired for threathening to pull an "R Kelly" on a rival's daughter
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Student protesters pour 440 pounds of cooked spaghetti, with tomato sauce, on steps of Danish finance ministry in protest of cuts in student grants. In other news, 440 pounds of spaghetti could feed a hell of a lot of hungry college students
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Buy American: Buy a Toyota Sienna, made in Indiana and with more U.S. parts then the Ford Muskrat
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Lost hikers saved by bag left behind by year-long missing hiker
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| (ksdk.com) |
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Mysterious plaques appearing around the world, embedded into city streets. Are aliens responsible? Or is it, like most rational people would conclude, just a bunch of kooks? With nice, clear photo of one plaque
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| (chinadaily.com) |
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Angry rock singer destroys newspaper office and sets fire to a car for untrue things written about his family
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Florida inmate charged with putting the PMITA in PMITA prison
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Round the clock "Torture the Sleep Deprived Parents of Babies" channel to debut
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Two Arizona police officers suspended for doubling the dildo content of a police car
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| (Monterey Herald) |
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"About 40 percent of the medical malpractice cases filed in the United States are groundless." Duh
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Man files sexual discrimination suit against Los Angeles Angels because only women attending Mother's Day game were given a free tote bag
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| (Scoop) |
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"The fact that whale meat is already languishing in stockpiles and being used for dog food clearly shows that Japanese people simply are not interested in eating it." Japanese dogs desperate for steak
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United Airlines, which used to bill itself as Chicago's "hometown airline," considering moving headquarters to Denver
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Dyslexic poop thread time: Man catches 54-pound, 49-inch carp
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High school teacher in trouble after students find her national bikini team photos. Which is sad because she is completely smoking hot. Article contains links to SFW pics
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It sucks to have your phone number erroneously listed in letters mailed to thousands. It sucks worse if it was for a hot line for hearing-and speech-impaired people whose services were being cut
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Dumbass: Guy uses power drill to style hair of sleeping girlfriend. Uber-dumbass: He ends up scalping her. Fark.com: He'd already scalped himself by doing the same thing previously
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| (Some Guy) |
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Dumb: Post nasty things about cops on MySpace. Dumber: Be a cop and get suspended for said comments. Fark: Post pics of you and your partner drinking in your police car. Florida: Your partner is a dog
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Arena league football fan charged in fight that knocked woman onto field (with pics of woman's fall from stands)
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Photoshop this basketball fan wearing stilts
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| (Some Guy) |
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6-foot-3, 240-pound 23-year-old pulls a BB gun during a religious argument with another man in the streets of New Haven. The other man had a real gun
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Congress: Let's investigate the NSA's spying program. NSA: Die in a fire. Congress: Okay, that's fine then, nothing to see here
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New York Daily News losing readers, ad revenue. The New York Post is there
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Richard Kelly, the director of "Donnie Darko," may miss Cannes premiere of his new film about post-911 U.S. security due to his totally coincidental and sudden appearance on the terrorist watch list
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Production of England's most famous "brown sauce" to be moved to the Netherlands. Mmmmm... Dutch brown sauce
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North Korea reverses its stance on food aid, will now accept food for 1.9 million people. Roughly the same number as its armed forces. So, we're feeding its army. Outstanding
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Putin to Russian people: "Fornicate"
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| (Metrowest Daily News) |
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Family distraught after having 300-pound gnome stolen from their lawn. "I went into the house screaming, 'Shamus is gone Shamus is gone!' It was like losing a child"
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| (Forbes) |
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Experts dismiss bird flu as "flight of fancy." In other news, the U.S. government just paid $1.4 billion to buy vaccines for a threat that doesn't exist?
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Today's rise in oil prices brought to you by *shakes magic 8-ball* some guy getting shot in Nigeria, repairs to a Texas refinery, the West's diplomatic confrontation with Iran, a thin supply cushion and the coming hurricane season
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| (Some Guy) |
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In an effort to calm everyone down, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahma... Ahma... AhmagonnastartWW3 calls Israel an "evil regime," says it will be "annihilated"
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If you're raising sheep within city limits and lost two recently, the Tarpon Springs police would like to talk to you
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| (Citizen-Times.com) |
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Susan says whether you're nekkid or naked, you shouldn't be it on your back porch
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NSA creates database of domestic U.S. phone calls made by millions of Americans, to the surprise of absolutely nobody
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You know your childbirth is going to be tough when there are 50 doctors helping with the delivery
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Man works two jobs to make ends meet. 1: Power-washing windows at convenience stores after hours. 2: Selling gas from his driveway. Authorities think there is a connection
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| (Some Guy) |
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Old boyfriend -- a former butcher -- gets in fight with new boyfriend. Guess who ends up in five trash bags?
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Photoshop Jack Nicholson putting a curse on the Phoenix Suns
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| (The Hometown Channel) |
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Police close down porn shop for breaking obscenity laws, say "they could be there all night investigating."
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Lack of new recruits has left three English counties with only one sperm donor, and boy is his wrist tired
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| (Some Guy) |
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Vice cop waits until 5-minute, repetitious genital-touching lap dance concluded before offering, "Busted. You've violated the four-foot private-dance law."
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| (LG2 Fizz Website) |
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You're running out of time to make plans to attend the next Chicago Fark Party, Saturday June 3rd at 7:00 p.m.
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If you're going to steal $12,000 from work, make sure you spend it on something a little less obvious than bigger boobs
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Combination Mexican flower shop/clandestine fireworks factory asplodes, blowing out windows in a four-block area
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| (Farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 53: "Top 3: Happy Farktography Anniversary." Link goes to next week's contest
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| Wed May 10, 2006 |
| (Some Guy) |
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Teen bitten by baby rattlesnake, figures he should go grab a drink with his friends rather than seek medical treatment. "I'm not too bright that way," he says
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Alligator bites old woman, who promptly beats it with a garden hose, screams "Get off my lawn"
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| (swradioafrica) |
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It's your lucky day when you are released from jail to settle a debt with a prostitute
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| (WND) |
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Seeking to extend his 15 minutes, atheist Michael Newdow challenges "In God We Trust"
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New Jersey's poorest city accidentally gives city workers an extra paycheck in 2004. State wants its money back. Unions say suck it
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| (Some Pagan) |
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Wiccan kid thrown out of scout troop for believing in more than one deity. Wait until someone tells them about Hindus
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this speakerless box
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| (Some Guy) |
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College Republicans protest Democratic governor with "Blagojevich Sucks" t-shirts. Blogojevich contacts them, asks for one to jog in
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Undergrad who's been at University of Wisconsin for 12 years puts off plan to graduate for another year. Should have his student loans paid off in year 2873
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Nearly 700 sticks of dynamite stolen in California. This is not going to end well
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| (Daily Kos) |
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Hillary Clinton introduces bill to link congressional pay raises to the minimum wage, so they can't raise one without raising the other. Congressional Republican heads asplode
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"And thou shalt run with scissors, and corner thine enemy." -- Fiskars, 2:14
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| (ZTGD) |
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"Dance Dance Revolution" to become a children's TV show on CBS. Now kids can dance like wine-making slaves within the comfort of their own homes
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Man who drives his car right into a deputy's cruiser happened to be eating a bowl of cereal at the time
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Arizona county sheriff won't take any more illegal immigration; says, "I'm going to catch as many as I can and throw them in my jail"
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Actual headline: "Chief Rabbi: Buffalo Meat Kosher." Chief Rabbi bring big good news to all Jewish Indians
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| (Some Guy) |
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Top 10 bizarre vehicles (large pics)
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Great White manager gets jail time for 100 deaths in nightclub fire
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| (Some Guy) |
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Store owner thwarts robbery with beer can, proving yet again that everything can be solved with beer
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Andy Warhol's painting of Campbell's soup can sells for $11.7M at auction
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Banks introduce 50-year mortgage, also known as "you will never own this piece of property"
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With the amazing capabilities of the Nintendo Wii, what game are we treated to at E3? "Duck Hunt 2." Maybe this time you can finally shoot that damn dog
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| (Dear Abby) |
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"Dear Abby: Last weekend, my fiancee just got her baby daddy's name tattooed on her back, and it bugs me to see it during sex. What should I do?" Farkers undoubtedly can give better advice than Abby's. (Voting enabled)
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A concrete staircase, the last above-ground remnant of the WTC, tops list of America's most endangered historic sites, followed closely by pretty much all of New Orleans
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Bush: "Jeb would make a great president"
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Someone wasting their photoshop talent pasting MySpace heads onto porn images, instead of the preferred Gwen Stefani heads onto porn images
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this politician's high-hair wife
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Man -- all 410 pounds of him -- walks from New York to California, losing 100 pounds on the way, meaning don't touch that weird pile along the interstate in Iowa
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Former Top Gun pilot forgets to use landing gear. Drops a load in his shorts and takes Xenu's name in vain
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Vote for your favorite "M:I 3" babe. Safe for work. (Sponsored Link)
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150-pound catfish pulls fisherman into water; fisherman hits head on rock and drowns. Catfish last seen high-finning his friends and telling them about the fisherman who got away
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Toddler playing with handgun shoots man dead. NRA quick to point out that the three-year-old COULD have been defending his house against a burglar, so lay off already
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Guess the state in which TV stations will run a warning that the ABC bird-flu movie isn't real?
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| (Times Online) |
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Iraqi parliarment devolves into high school lunch period when ringtone starts scuffle. Yo, the Shia gots to represent
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| (MosNews) |
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6.2 earthquake hits Kamchatka, totally spoiling plans to attack Alaska, thus depriving opponent of five armies per turn
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| (Albert Lea Tribune) |
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Dumb: You are busted for selling marijuana at a McDonald's. Dumber: You are selling out of a diaper bag in a baby stroller. Fark: The baby and its underage mother are helping you
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Cingular pulls "offensive" ringtone that threatens deportation in English and Spanish
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Love teh intrawebs: Draw a pig, learn about your personality
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Today's "four circus elephants involved in traffic accident" story comes to you courtesy of Sweden
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Cape Cod doing background checks on students going to high school proms and barring anyone with a criminal record -- such as those monsters who who have been convicted of underage possession of alcohol
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Why we buy dumb souvenirs
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| (SPTimes) |
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The "messy trailer" defense clears rape suspect at trial. This being Florida, cleared suspect remains in jail on other charges
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Twelve species of flies get federal protection. I think my horse just committed a hate crime
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Q: Name two new black things Newark, New Jersey got yesterday. A: A new mayor and a bear
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Harvard university study finds teens who take virginity pledges rarely keep them
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Study shows how grapefruit juice helps you absorb more drugs. Hippies around the world flock to nearest grocery store; politicians scramble to ban it
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"I'm bored -- what do you want to do?" "I know, let's throw these paint cans off the roof!" "Should we look over the side to see if the police are around?" "Nah"
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| (Mirror) |
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Man who has spent last 44 years cycling around world has bike stolen within four hours of arriving in England
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Farmers reduce their power bills from $2500 to $30 a month by burning cow crap. Your dog wants to help you
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| (The State) |
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If you were planning on visting the South Carolina DMV today, you can forget about it. It's Confederate Memorial Day. South Carolina: Proud to be on the wrong side of history for 145 years and counting
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In a stunning pro-life move, Catholic school fires teacher for using in-vitro fertilization
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Eighty-year-old communist declared winner of the Italian preidential election, will get Carl Kassel's voice on his home answering machine
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Another reason for gettin' it right on the first try, German man told to pay damages for failed suicide bid
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Members of religious sect gain permission to have driver's licenses without photographs
|
| (ScienceDaily) |
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Having solved all other problems, scientists cure cancer in mice. Won't somebody think of the humans?
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Ann Coulter has announced that she will be voting for Al Gore in the 2008 elections. Perhaps she will be able to figure out which district she's registered in this time
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Woman who beat living hell out of burglar with pan is praised by judge, who tells battered crook, "I suspect many right-thinking people regret she didn't hit you harder"
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