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| Sun March 26, 2006 |
| (Riding Sun) |
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Buddhist temple in Japan "devoted entirely to the worship of women's breasts" (with pic.) Farkers suddenly become devoutly religious
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this rock climber
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| (Netcraft) |
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World of Warcraft outage forces nerds into terrifying Real World (link changed to one without NSFW ads at bottom)
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US Navy Destroyer runs into merchant ship in Persian Gulf. Looks around, leaves a note with insurance information, motors off
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| (Some Guy) |
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Alyssa Milano - Fhm Photoshoot New
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6 ways to tell your girl to lose some weight
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| (Health) |
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Magazine announces world's five healthiest foods, obviously none of them are American
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Farmers in Cyprus grow soccer-ball-sized lemons that are so juicy that, if you were to squeeze them, the juice would run all down your leg
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| (Some Guy) |
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Top 50 countries with the highest proportion of atheists
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| (SI.com) |
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#11 GMU defeats #1 UConn; Duke sucks
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Housing Bubble has burst. Using your house as an ATM is now over. If you have an adjustible rate mortgage and wish to sell, you'll probably have to bring money to the table. The only thing proping up the economy has come to an end
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| (Some Guy) |
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"Wrap rage," the condition where you buy a product then can't get it out of the farking package with anything short of a samurai sword, has produced more than 60,000 injuries in the UK alone
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The Time magazine totally ignores the fact that George W. Bush totally ignores Global Warming
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this old man in front of a sculpture
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Thin mints are a lesson in microeconomics
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| (Some Guy) |
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Terri Schiavo's parents hope to make March 31st a holiday called "Terri's Day", so what are your plans for Terri's Day?
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Founder of IKEA is fourth-richest man in the world but drives a 15-year-old Volvo beater and flies economy-class. So you have at least one thing in common with the fourth-richest man in the world
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Viatamin-enriched dog water hits the market. Mmmm.... dog water
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| (Sky) |
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Top 10 air guitar songs of all time. You've probably got most of them in your repetoire
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If you think that hybrid is going to save you some tax dollars, think again. The man is going to stick it to all you hippies
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| (Not Life, or Look it's TIme) |
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Caption what Sen Rick is conjuring here (with bonus Ben Stein lookalike in background)
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| (some hero) |
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NCAA Tournament discussion thread
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Indy driver Paul Dana dies in a crash during warm up practice. With video
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Scientists find straightforward medical explanation for at least three of the world's major religions
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| (NBC5I) |
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Spokeswoman for commission arresting drunk Texans while they're still in bars doesn't understand why people are so upset, want her to 'Die in a fire.'
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| (Yenra) |
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It had to happen sooner or later: Programmable Soda Pop
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| (Female First) |
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Pop star Pink says that she wants to open a chain of x-rated strip clubs, that she would dance in herself
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| (Gothamist) |
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Photoshop these Trader Joe's bananas
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Woman whose homeowner's insurance was cancelled because she had Siberian huskies launches campaign to ban breed discrimination
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Case dismissed against Afghan Christian convert
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| (Some Guy) |
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Awesome lego arena
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| (BoingBoing) |
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Photoshop the agony and the ecstasy of these cardboard robots
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| (Fort Wayne.com) |
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Friends restore soldier's 1967 Plymouth Barracuda while he served in Iraq
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| (Some Gastronome) |
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Top 50 Competitive Eater's Bib Sheets
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After 3 years, half a trillion dollars, thousands of troops dead and wounded; Senator McCain tells Iraqi's it's time for them to form a government and fight for themselves or we're bugging out
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| (Firehouse.com) |
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Firefighter still sexiest job, water treatment worker holds onto stinkiest
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| (Some Guy) |
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The world's top 15 urban skylines (with pics)
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Illinois man fined and sentenced to one year of court supervision for piggybacking on someone else's Wi-Fi
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Swiss cheese with "perfect hole placement" named the best cheese in the world
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| (SPIFFY!!!) |
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Live from Saturday Night: What's on your desktop? Submit screenshot wipe hands on pants
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| Sat March 25, 2006 |
| (Afrol.com) |
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The next logical step from camel milk is camel chocolate
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A tribute to rednecks
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Customs officials find ghost ship floating adrift in Australian waters
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| (Focus i News) |
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Court rules that Greeks can worship Zeus and Apollo if they choose. Greek Orthodox Church reminds the faithful that cold weather is God's way of telling you to burn more pagans
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Church attendance booming with high definition virtual preachers
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| (Some Guy) |
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I got teh poison ivy on teh penor...when will this agony end? Tip: always wash hands b4 u go too
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Justice Department explains NSA can monitor any American's overseas calls because they just can
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| (Billings Gazette) |
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Cabin's water needs to be left trickling or the pipes will freeze. The result of this practice this year is a giant 45-foot tall hollow ice tower ( w/pic )
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop Bob's Market
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| (Some Guy) |
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The FBI investigates man for criticizing the Patriot Act
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| (Rapid City Journal) |
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South Dakota Indian tribe plans abortion clinic on their reservation. State's taliban legislators shocked to find out there's not a thing they can do about it
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When fifth-graders run the free market system, everybody wins
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| (Some Guy) |
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50-year-old cafeteria manager charged with stealing kids' lunch money in preparation for the release of Bully to PS2
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| (Star-Bulletin) |
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Freak hail storm follows rare tornado in Hawaii. Civil defense puts word out to find Brady kids and return the tiki
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| (ksl.com) |
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For making a donation of $35,000 to the VH1 hurricane relief fund, man gets to choose a full hour worth of videos. Chooses to play "'99 red balloons" for an hour straight
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| (NASA) |
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Comet comes close to Earth, giving it a string of pearls
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| (Spiegel Online) |
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Blame it on the cut-price airlines: Spain says "enough already" to low-class tourism as it only becomes one big boozefest in the end
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Orlando plagued with bird droppings (pics)
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| (CaledonianRecord.com) |
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College girl auctions herself on ebay to help pay for school, bar tab. (w/Pic)
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| (Pioneer Press) |
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Jailed spam king calls for hit on key witness and family...from jail phone, thus assuring stay at PMITA Prison, where he hopes that no-one has used his products
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| (Not quite a cache over here) |
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When does a Pot stash become a Pot cache---the Shenandoah Daily News-Record is there
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Hilary's opponent claims the sentaor is flying helicopters over her house and has spies staring through her windows. Woman unattractive enough for this to have been Bill's idea
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| (QCOnline) |
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Today's optical illusion that may or may not look like a religious icon when you squint really, really hard brought to you by Moline, IL
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Pamela Anderson is looking for a sperm donor
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| (Lowell Sun) |
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Judge says city is allowed to demand kickbacks from tow companies
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Minnesota judge thinks that "embellishing and making misstatements" are not the same as lying. Roget spins in his grave
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| (Some Guy) |
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Video: LED car rims display digital image while driving
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NCAA Elite Eight discussion thread
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MPAA opposes new copyright law to protect actors from exploitation, being downloaded into the Matrix
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Seven people dead and more injured in Seattle shooting. Appears to be murder-suicide
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| (Some Guy) |
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The "Bakersfield sound" just got quiet. RIP Buck Owens- if it weren't for bad luck he'd had no luck at all- Gloom, despair, and agony on me
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| (Some Krishna Guy) |
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Cereal killer: Kellogg Rice Krispies contains meat. Need "disgusting" tag
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| (Some Castle) |
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Photoshop this impressive old house
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| (Green Discharge) |
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Fark Atlanta: Big Party tonight at Twain's 8:30pm. Last night was incredible, don't miss out
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Who knew baby hippos were so cute... in an ugly-ass sort of way
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This spring's fashion trend: everything's coming up boobies (pic)
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| (Some Stumble! upon-er) |
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The coolest thing you'll see all day: Montage of old Isuzu Gemini Commercials, replete with amazing stunts
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Coolio to have his own cooking show, complete with strippers in the kitchen: "I'm going to change the way they do cooking shows"
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Juvenile boot camps to be replaced with "Star Academies" that seem to be cross between fat farms and new-age spiritual centers
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If you want your letter to the editor to be taken seriously, it helps to have less exclamations then words
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| (Daily Yomiuri Online) |
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Japanese man learns English from video games, recommends all you non-native-speaker cats do same, for great justice
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| (Some Guy) |
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New spray on dress.....this link useless without pics (pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Eight year old boy charged with sexual harassment; will rely on "she had cooties" defense at trial
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Your kid's iPod may help make her smarter. Podcasting in education is the "next big thing"
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit a phone conversation with Avon's new Indian customer-service division
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| (WRAL) |
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Washington police baffled by "polite" soccer ball thief. "It wasn't a smash and grab, it was kind of like a 'nice' burglar," they say
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this card trick
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15,000 storm the streets of Phoenix to protest law making it a federal crime for illegals to live in the USA
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If you've been kicking around an idea that needs 1 million carp per year to succeed, Utah would like to work with you
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| (Appalachian News Express) |
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A herd of cattle still "at large" makes front page news in Kentucky
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| (Some Guy) |
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Manholes of Japan
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Hackers figure out how to get XM and Sirius on their cell phones. XM, Sirius not very pleased
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| Fri March 24, 2006 |
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Photoshop this member of the Red Sox dance team
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Original idiot arrested for using a mannequin in the carpool lane has just sold his co-pilot on eBay for a cool fifteen large. How Golden Palace didn't snap this up is anybody's guess
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Shop forced to remove their electronic teen repellent siren. Will replace it with stereo playing Ethel Merman
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Today's "Media jumps all over one isolated study that contradicts years of research" story: If you get eight hours of sleep each night, you're going to die sooner than people who get less
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The official "let's watch my bracket get even more farked up" discussion thread. Your dog only has one final four team left
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WWII airman found frozen in mountainside will finally get a proper burial. Vibranium shield to be passed on to next viable candidate in the program
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Judge to Barry Bonds: Suck it
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| (UK Mirror) |
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The real Mrs. Doubtfire got away with it in England for five years before he was found out
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First rule of toddler fight club: don't talk about toddler fight club. Second rule of toddler fight club: don't use someone else's kid and leave a video of it for the mom to find
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| (Some Guy) |
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Real-life story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears plays out in Utah home, where a young woman is found naked in the shower
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| (Live from Dog Beach) |
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Photoshop Spike rooting around near the Sea of Japan
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Hominid skull, thought to be intermediate between the earlier Homo erectus and the later Homo sapiens, found in Ethiopia. Validity to be challenged by Christian fundamentalists, many of whom are thought to be closet Homo sexuals
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Those flooded cars Nagin gave away are now on sale near you
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| (Belleville News-Democrat) |
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Yesterday's freak lawyer, with pictures of his then-16-year-old sister in law, married to a teacher who educates in a see-through skirt -- commando
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| (Eagle Tribune) |
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...shortnose sturgeon, spawning for the very first time, endangered stur-ur-ur-ur-gen, got Haverhill on my mind
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| (PalmBeachPost.com) |
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Church members beat, hog-tie burglary suspect
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| (DNA India) |
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Superstitious simpletons get scared silly by prankster with plastic skeleton. Hilarity ensues
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It ain't a real wet t-shirt contest until six people get arrested
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Glacier National Park may have to be renamed Big Rock National Park after all the glacial ice has melted
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| (Virginian) |
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Five students in Virginia in deep doo-doo after cafeteria poop prank goes disgustingly wrong
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Police believed real hostage crisis took place during movie shoot
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"He was so small that some promoters initially encouraged him to wrestle as a larger-than-average midget ... "
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| (WWMT-DT) |
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Man shoots down toy plane after it caused his goats to faint from exhaustion
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| (Zug.com) |
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Michael Jackson faker given the red carpet treatment in Boston. Catholic priest impersonators, other pedophiles still shunned
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| (ABC7.com) |
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L.A. students stage walkout to protest... well... most of 'em have no idea why, but they're happy to break the rules so they can leave school
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Hawaii has lowest jobless rate and higest cursed-tiki necklace rate in United States
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Good news: Family stranded in snow rescued after 17 days. Bad news: Authorities recognize the parents on TV and issue arrest warrants
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Endangered sturgeon, hatched for the very first time, endangerd stur-ur-ur-ur-gen, in Idaho, you'll be spending time
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| (Click2Houston) |
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High school coach makes student crap in a bag while on a school bus
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| (WCCO) |
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L.A. hospital caught on videotape dumping 63-year-old patient onto city's skid row
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| (Infowars) |
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CNN put up a poll asking if you agree with Dr. Charlie Sheen, Ph.D on 9/11 cover-up, and apparently every conspiracy theorist alive went to it and voted "yes"
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| (FHWA) |
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Because drivers don't understand what a green light means, the U.S. government has approved a new type of traffic signal for drivers to be confused by. Read carefully, you may be tested on this
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| (Life Site) |
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TV promotes promiscuity in children. No plans to research whether changing the channel will have any impact
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Terrorists in Britain planned to poison the beer sold at soccer games. Previous attempts to poison water supply failed when it was discovered no one there drinks the stuff
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| (People's Daily) |
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Name-calling blogger loses libel case. What the hell is a "nonce" anyway?
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Mother smokes pot in same room as 11-day-old baby. Baby gets rushed to hospital with life-threatening breathing problems. Mother says from jail, "I just feel I have been really inconvenienced"
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Reebok recalls bracelets after boy swallows part of one and dies of lead poisoning. Bracelets are 99 percent lead -- the safety threshold is 0.06 percent
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| (some future headline) |
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When you finally do something newsworthy, what will the Fark headline about you say?
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People who blast their tunes at work have bad taste in music, limited social skills
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Today's "bank robber stuck trying to escape through the chimney" story brought to you by Granger, Washington
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Belarus, Belarus, they are opposed to Lukashenko? Police swoop in like lightning, very very frightening, see?
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| (TEXAS) |
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O noes. The boogler strikes again. Leaves taunting message: "Get a real safe" (with pic)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Owner shocked to find out that his dog swallowed a 9.5-inch stick, whole. Even more shocked about the $6000 bill to have it removed. Your dog wants nothing to do with fetching sticks
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Over past five years, the U.S. government spent $2.5 million researching distant prayer healing
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Viewers prefer reruns of old sitcoms rather than new shows such as "Charlie Sheen Cracks a Smirk" and "Everybody Loves a Fat Guy With a Hot Wife"
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Encyclopedia Brittanica angry at comparisons to Wikipedia, points to series of transparent human-body pages for emphasis
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Accused mom questions self on stand in attempt to convince jury she's nuts
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| (Radioblogger) |
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"We haven't had another 9/11, we freed 50 million people, we've set up democracies in the most unlikely places following the Taliban and Saddam Hussein, and I don't see anything incompetent about that"
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| (KELO-TV) |
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Gonzaga Bulldog Adam Morrison has a long history of crying on basketball courts
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| (TechDirt.com) |
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Cops fine late-night man in parking lot for using someone else's wifi. No word on how much porn he downloaded
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| (Some Guy) |
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Woman caught polishing her husband's scepter in public surprised that 10 officers and two riot vans converged on the scene
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Civil-rights activist being criticized for his new job: Corporate cheerleader for Wal-Mart
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| (theadvocate) |
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College student plans 750-mile unicycle trip for college funds, still hasn't considered applying for an internship
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Ugly-ass blue-and-yellow macaw born in Brazilian zoo (with hideous pic)
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| (MetroWest Daily News) |
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Fourth-grade girl wears earring with Playboy Bunny. Hilarity ensues
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Jacques Chirac storms out of European Union summit after bureaucrat addresses him in English. Quelle fromage
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Your NCAA brackets suck. Thanks Duke, Gonzaga
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Politician encourages countrymen to eat American invaders
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| (My Bitchin' Computer) |
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Photoshop what the world would look like if casemodders ran amok. Link goes to GIS for "casemod"
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Huge explosion in French college, casualties reported
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| (Calgary Herald) |
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Canadian banker fired for bringing prostitute to his office and leaving her there after hours; says he felt unappreciated in his wrongful dismissal suit
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| (Some Guy) |
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Animal rights campaigners target Scottish deer farm. Unfortunately, the deer there are so well-treated, none wanted to leave when the fences around the farm were cut (with pic)
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| (Impact Lab) |
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Doctors are calling for more research into persistent sexual arousal syndrome. Volunteers seen lined up around the block
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| (Costal View) |
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Telling the arresting officer that you're Jesus Christ, while you're staggering drunk, probably won't help you out very much. With bonus police blotter entries
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| (Herald) |
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Man with no arms caught by police driving car with his feet. At 75 mph
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Pope holds first meeting with Cardinals, worried about the reliability of their middle relief
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Boy thrown to the ground and robbed of his cell phone by a mugger. The mugger was a Labrador Retriever. And police say it may have been stealing to order
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| (news-leader.com) |
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Ugly-ass, Gollumesque colobus monkey born at Springfield zoo (with preeccccioussss pic)
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| (NBC5) |
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Woman named Cat Chow sneaks onto plane, hides in bathroom, then slyly occupies seats of passengers who subsequently get up to use the bathroom
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| (The Thunderbird) |
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One in four takes performance-enhancing drugs. Baseball? Football? No, classical musicians
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Road construction hot line number answered by phone-sex operators, who will eagerly fill your potholes for $2.99 a minute
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Today's Iron Photoshop contest: Weaponry of the future
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| Thu March 23, 2006 |
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U.S. hiring China to scan cargo for nuclear materials. What could possibly go wrong?
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Today's "Tom Cruise leaping on furniture" story brought to you by the Yahoo campus and hundreds of stunned onlookers
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Alligator bangs head against surprised homeowners' fornt door, claiming metal health will drive you mad
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Duke sucks a little too hard, chokes. LSU wins 62-54. Duke sucks
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| (Harborough Today) |
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Today's "large block of falling frozen airplane poo" story brought to you by Harborough, England
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| (DeKalb Daily Chronicle) |
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Drunk-driving alderman rear-ends another car, falls asleep inside with open beer on his lap. Humiliarity ensues
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Judge: "This case raises some interesting legal matters. I find that Ctrl-X Ctrl-V, F5, Ctrl-N, Ctrl-X Ctrl-V"
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| (The Chronicle) |
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Officials identify lizard as cause of power loss. "[When our power system fails] it's always these goofy lizard things." Duke sucks
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Fark invites you to join the 2nd Fark Hold 'Em Tourney -- March 30th at 9:00 p.m. Details in thread
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Barry Bonds to sue "Game of Shadows" authors for "the use of illegally obtained" documents. The word "libel" seems to be missing from the lawsuit
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| (consumeraffairs.com) |
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Vonage puts 911 caller on hold while house burns down. Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo
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| (College Humor) |
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College Humor's collection of recent embarassing reader-submitted Spring Break pictures. Some not safe for work
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| (Madison Record) |
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Attorney tells ex-wife: "Don't blow the whistle on my fraudulent bankruptcy or I'll show everyone pics of me having sex with your sister when I was 30 and she was 16." What could possibly go wrong?
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Warcraft guild leaders are now being headhunted for management positions. YA RLY
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Once again, the world doesn't want to do dick about Darfur and is looking to fat, dumb Uncle Sugar to save the day
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Concerns surface over sales of "glow-in-the-dark lights" to Iran. May lead to sales of "pie that tastes good" to North Korea
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: If Jack Bauer lived in a different period of time...
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One step short of resorting to virtual Little League games, Maryland pondering encasing little leagurers in bubble wrap, further molding Generation Wuss
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| (Some Guy) |
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Danish imam accused of threatening to blow up moderate Moslem politician in Denmark. Imam strenuously denies, dares anyone to prove it. French TV shows video. Imam: "My bad... I was just joking"
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Apparently, business meetings at strip clubs are not fair to female colleagues, though on Tuesdays, they get in free
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Many Fortune 500 companies are openly advertising on webpages with pornographic material
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| (boingboing) |
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Toilet-paper air cannon has a range of 300 feet, is perfect for blasting Klingons off Uranus
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| (Arkansas Times) |
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Arkansas science teachers can't use the "E" word and must describe rocks as "very very old"
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Samuel L. Jackson will say "Get these motherfarking snakes off my motherfarking plane" in "Snakes on a Plane"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Five-inch metal pin causes $7 million damage to Air Force's brand-new F-22 Raptor fighter jet. It's a good thing our enemies shoot missiles and bullets at the jet instead of five-inch metal pins
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Forty percent of British men and 27 percent of women say they make naked phone calls
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New study finds most young people get their news from the Internet. No word on where they go for their Not News, but we have our suspicions
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Man gets additional 45 day in jail after "Tookie" Williams shirt is considered contempt of court. Good thing his shirt for Beaver Liquors was left at home
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| (Nintendo.Com) |
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The leader in points in Nintendo's "Metroid Prime: Hunters" online play is "I Eat Poo"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man protests "appalling" displays of male nudity on the BBC by mailing pornographic pictures of women to the station. Hilarity ensues
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Missing 14-year-old girl found, 10 years later, living in confinement with her 48-year-old boyfriend, a former security guard at her middle school
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| (WGAL) |
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Suspect spices up perp walk with one-finger salute. With pics
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| (nola.com) |
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New Orleans mayor was set to spend $23 million to dispose of 30,000 flooded cars, never realizing that saying "Free cars for the taking" would cost nothing
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St. Paul Easter Bunny is the first fatality in the "War on Easter®"
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| (BusinessWeek) |
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Coca Cola agrees that Powerade-fueled Amish farmers might drive their carts faster if they guzzle Gatorade instead
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| (IAState) |
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After cancelling last year's student festival due to rioting, ISU announces William Hung as one of the headline performers for this year's festival
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"Realistic" toy gun: $2.00. Traffic ticket for speeding: $200. Excitement experienced when you reach for your documents and the gun falls out, resulting in a high-risk tactical takedown ensues: Priceless
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Someone plants wheat in cemetery. Will harvest it in the fall to make crispy and delicious zombie flakes
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Warlords battle religious nutjobs for control of world's biggest pirate headquarters. Ninjas, robots and monkeys all trying like hell to get a piece of this action
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Can the government ban Fred Phelps from picketing funerals? Here comes the legal analysis
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Senator Ensign of Nevada trying to block nomination of Coast Guard Vice Admiral Thad Allen because saving pets during Katrina wasn't his top priority. It's not like the Coast Guard saved 33,000 people or anything
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Today's headline that makes you wonder if you are suffering a mild stroke: "Appeal to log otter road deaths"
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Penetration of Catholicism into coming Episcopal jism schism a full blown event
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Adwaitya the Tortoise dead at the ripe age of 255. Tonight we dine on turtle soup
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| (Some Pissed off Blogger) |
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ESPN Radio personality Colin Cowherd ganks material from TFer's sports blog, reads it verbatim on air. Support the little man and check it out
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Russia's Federal Security Service closes down Russian edition of Pravda.ru over Danish caricatures allegation
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| (Beijing Lives) |
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Chinese lawyer's map, supposedly a 1763 knockoff of an alleged 1418 map which proves a 1421 journey, has been conclusively radiocarbon dated to 1600s. Or 1700s. Or 1800s
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College Board admits more SAT screw-ups. College Board : Scoring Accuracy :: Duke : Everything
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A Leicestershire school uses heat-sensitive stickers to encourge boys to aim correctly in urinals. Apparently not only do the English not change their underpants, they don't know to use a toliet either
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Universal to offer movie downloads starting April 15th. It's a steal at only $40 per movie download
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Dutch family's "barking doorbell" gets them $97 dog tax bill. Your dog wants dependent status
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| (WSB-TV) |
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Forklift driver -- who won $1M in Powerball lottery -- refuses to quit job, thereby proving he's mentally unfit to operate a forklift
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Today's "dummy caught using the carpool lane" story comes from Toronto
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Jury in rape trial rejects "my evil twin Skippy did it" defense after learning that defendant is in fact the evil twin
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NASCAR rain-out coverage gets higher ratings than Kobe vs. LeBron. FOX planning future broadcasts of rain
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| (Khaleej Times) |
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Customs destroys man's frozen pigeons because the dead birds might catch the bird flu
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| (Lileks) |
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Lileks takes the snark bus to revisit a 1977 Fredericks of Hollywood catalog. Polyester pantsuits: Classy
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| (Buffalo Blog) |
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Buffalo police parking-ticket crusade so out of control, even fire trucks are getting parking tickets (with pic)
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Meatpacker sparks fight over testing. Republicans confused, say he can't get married
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Danish factory workers angry that their six-beers-a-day quota might be eliminated. What would Mohammed do?
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| (Miami Herald) |
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Castro burns his underwear to avoid "ass"assination
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Official NCAA Sweet Sixteen discussion thread
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| (The Local) |
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Nurse called Jesus asked to change name to avoid scaring patients told that "Jesus will be with you soon"
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Mainstream media deals with the fact their approval rating is even lower than the president's
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| (Some Pastoral Fellow) |
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Photoshop this path by a fence
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If you're going to kidnap a girl from the neighborhood, make sure your cell phone with the custom ringtone everyone already hates doesn't ring while you've got the girl tied up and blindfolded
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| (Networking Pipeline) |
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FCC Chief: AT&T can limit Internet bandwidth; extort money from companies like Google and Microsoft
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Court lets towns ban smoking in private buildings not open to the public
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| (Some Guy) |
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Here's to you, Mr. "Anybody Who Tries to Rob My Store Is Fixin' to Get a Six-Pack Upside the Head" Guy
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"Case of the Missing Pretty Young White Girl" update. Reporters scramble to be the first to report live on location
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Magazine study equating Wikipedia to Britannica bogus
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| (Greenville Online) |
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South Carolina proposes sentencing repeat child molesters to death
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British peace activist Norman Kember and two other guys from somewhere are freed
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| (Some Radio Guy) |
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In a stunning turn of events, local radio DJ gives credit to Fark. Thanks, man!
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Less sexy cheerleaders at rugby league matches could hold the key to attracting more people to watch sports, says panel of ugly women
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| (Post Chronicle) |
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Thanks to scientists, you'll now be able to definitively tell the difference between good pot and dirt weed
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| (The Peninsula) |
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A sexless marriage constitutes cruelty and is "ground" for divorce, India's top court has ruled
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A match made in geek heaven: Hasbro unveils new Star Wars Transformers. Read again: Star Wars Transformers
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| (wftv.com) |
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Bleeding to death and slow ER response? Have some free movie tickets
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| (Some Guy) |
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In honor of TFer's best friend who was just redeployed, photoshop him stirring a barrel of flaming poop in Iraq
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Anthrax victim dances for reporters. Skid Row victim merely bounces in place
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| (farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 46: "Old and young." Link goes to next week's contest. Please read first post
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Couple pays $1.00 for house; pays $120,000 to move the house three miles. Fark.com: Broken axle leaves house on neighbor's lawn
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When buying sexual services from 15-year-old, don't pay with counterfeit money
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Jeb Bush outlines plans to make Florida the first state requiring high school students to declare a major. Fourteen-year-old boys all sign up for bulldozer driving
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Study concludes ecstasy can damage the brains ability to.... uhhh.... umm can't remember what it does, read the article yourself
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| Wed March 22, 2006 |
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Classes in Arabic gaining in popularity at U.S. schools as students see new job opportunities, a chance to plead with kidnappers in their own language
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| (NBC5i) |
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New "test" Wal-Mart opens in Plano, Texas; features 1,200 different types of beer and wine, and 500 natural or organic food items. The city's alcoholic vegetarians rejoice
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Minor league ball player takes no-work job at state prison to act as ringer for softball tournament, narrowly avoids more permanent position there after officials find out
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Leader of "Nut Cases" gang found guilty of murder. In other news, the gang used the "Mr. Peanut" mascot as their gang tattoo
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| (Some Wind Farm) |
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Photoshop this wind-farm flyby
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Expecting Britain to do well in World Cup, finance minister freezes tax on champagne. Faces wrath, however, for increasing tax on beer, which Brits actually drink
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| (Daytona Beach News-Journal) |
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Florida celebrates Cracker Day. George Jefferson unavailable for comment
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Bush is now urging leaders of Iraq to form a stable government, which is sort of like standing over the top of a tank full of sea monkeys and begging them to build castles
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Soccer fan predicts 7-0 scoreline (at odds similar to finding WMD in Iraq tomorrow) and gets it right
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| (Oregon Live) |
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Fire department refuses to rescue kitten stuck in tree. "We don't do cat rescues"
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Man charged $673 for a 500-foot ambulance ride
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| (Albert Lea Tribune) |
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Today's stupid excuse given by a burglar when caught by a police officer right outside the building he robbed: I had to use the bathroom real bad
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New Mexico spending $110 million to assure that all UFOs will land there
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Swedish foreign minister resigns over censorship scandal. "The dark night of fascism is forever descending upon the United States, yet somehow it always lands in Europe"
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Some headlines cannot be made up: "The gospel singer and his porn addiction." Glory, hallejullah
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Arrested shoplifter tells police he stole because of a fear of math
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The "Bikini Principle" and the effectiveness of the airport security system
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British high court, which requires judges and attorneys to cover their hair and wear robes, rules that Muslim students are prohibited from covering their hair and wearing robes
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Incan women sat on a stone phallus while priests poured corn beer on them, eschewing more popular conception method of pouring beer in them
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If you're a felon that has recently escaped custody, you could do better than to hide from the law in your own apartment
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Stradivarius violin, one of only 600 known to exist, returning to Dallas Symphony Orchestra 21 years after it was stolen. Sadly, it will be called a "fiddle" and used to play songs about beers, steers and queers
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Arianna to The Clooney: My Bad. The Clooney: Suck It
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| (NewsNet5) |
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Drunk cop stops to take a leak in the middle of the street. Hilarity ensues
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If you're keeping score in your Book of Obscure Analogies, Venezuela's Hugo Chavez has become Scut Farkas's whiny little friend from "A Christmas Story"
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Japan facing "crisis" as growing numbers of mostly 30-something guys have not had sex for at least half year
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No, no, Daunte Culpepper wasn't getting lap dances at the boat party. He was too involved in....uh, illegal gambling. Yeah, that's it
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| (al.com) |
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Alabama legislature to force kids under 12 to sit in booster seats while in vehicles. Oppossing senator vows to add "they must wear helmets and fire retardant suits also" to bill
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| (NPR.org) |
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Whiny children grow up to be conservatives, according to this UC Berkeley study brought to you by NPR
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| (WTVF) |
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Police raid house lived in exclusively by the marijuana family, discover IKEA does make something for everyone
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Man: 1, Hindu diety: 1. It only sounds like a tie
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Pittsburgh Sniper just pissed at pigeons... all clear
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Pat Robertson miffed: Duct tape named world's greatest tool
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| (History.com) |
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Today in history: In 1933, FDR legalized the sale of beer and wine. Farkers rejoice
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Man arrested for asking officers if they would test his crack pipe
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Man named Timber Wolfe dies after being stabbed in leg with salad fork during drunken family horseplay
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"I have been working for 36 years and this is the first time we have had a patient who has been brought into the hospital after falling from the eleventh floor"
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Scottsdale police on the lookout for the "Botox Bandit" who's been scamming local day spas. Authorities ask you keep a lookout for a woman in a tight orange mask
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Watch live feed of Pittsburgh Sniper coverage while mainstream media goes on an extended smoke break
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| (Some slacker) |
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Employers cutting slackers less slack. They don't know I'm posting thi
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Oh noes. Zimbabwe is out of Coca-cola. Oh yeah, there's a bread shortage too
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| (Post Gazette) |
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Sniper holds downtown Pittsburgh hostage. Seahawks fans whine about cops letting him get away with it
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French apparently still protesting about something
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| (Some Wiki) |
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William Shatner...... turns... an amazing 75.......... years old.....today. Kirk out
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| (NWCN) |
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Man killed over Beatles poster. Suspect reportly described killing as "better than sex." If convicted, to learn some fun new types of sex
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GM to build more SUVs. When in a hole, hire a steam shovel
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| (wftv.com) |
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Four firefighters in trouble after breaking into a sherrifs patrol car and writing jokes and profanity in the ticket book
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| (Observer) |
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New dialect among women in Northeast known as "The Affect" and it's every bit as annoying as you might suspect: "People're li-yike, 'Oh my Gaaahd. You luh-iiiive abu-huuuv Fawer-teeenth Shtreeet?'"
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The coming Episcopal schism over jism
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About to lose the job it has held for 486 years, Jamaica debates whether to turn to alcohol or marijuana to ease the pain
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Detroit mayor needs $130M loan to keep city afloat, gives city council 10 seconds to comply
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When you're claiming thousands in disability welfare handouts, don't get caught running half marathons
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China to introduce tax on chopsticks. Tom Hanks and his stupid huge piano to protest the ruling
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| (Mobile Register) |
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Drywall Jesus story mentions Fark and its unbelievers (page 2)
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Ten percent of Brits wear underwear three days straight; same percentage have owned a pair more than 10 years
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Wily coyote captured in Central Park as Acme Escape-a-Thon does not function as promised
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Secret Service takes man into custody for throwing suspicious package over White House fence. Again
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| (Some Guy) |
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Real ninjas like to strip naked and oil themselves up before flipping out on the police
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| (Post Chronicle) |
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No more CNN/Gallup polls: Gallup says CNN brand diluting them because only two people in the U.S. watch the former cable news powerhouse
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| (LSJ) |
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Woman with 20 tons of garbage inside her house says she thinks she may have a hoarding issue (with pic -- judge for yourself)
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Hi everybody, chiropractors are a waste of time and money
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| (Some Swamp Thing) |
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Photoshop this uprooted tree
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Aerosmith's Steven Tyler to undergo undisclosed surgery. Lips everywhere tremble with fear
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Promoter offers chance to wrestle 450-pound black bear. What could possibly go wrong? (with pic)
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NY City subways to get messageboards. Trolls, flame wars soon to follow
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Barry Bonds avoids playing in cold weather because of his "achy legs" and not because his severely atrophied testicles all but disapper when cold
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Report released in 2006, from data collected in 1999, for something known since 1940: California and New York have filthy air
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Seventeen Indians die from "country liquor," drank while toasting at funeral of friend who died from drinking "country liquor"
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| (Some Guy) |
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School's head boy stripped of that title for emailing pictures of little head boy to classmates
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Yoko derides seance to contact Lennon as tasteless, tacky and exploitative
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White House gates sealed from lobbyists due to suspicious package that probably doesn't contain cash
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| (WXYZ.com) |
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Man honors the memory of dead soldiers in Iraq by destroying a Lebanese-owned gas station
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| (WUSA 9 News) |
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The next time you file your taxes, make sure you don't accidently allow your tax preparer to sell your personal information to the highest bidder (with video)
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| (Duluth News Tribune) |
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Political Correctness Run Amuck, No. 637: "Baa baa black sheep" has been changed to "Baa baa rainbow sheep." Surprisingly, no sheep who felt insulted by previous lyrics were available for comment
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"Ancient" tree 4,000 years younger than originally thought, says fake ID was for buying beer and cigarettes
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Wal-Mart recalls doublewide rocking chairs because they may fall over and dump their doublewide owners out of their doublewide trailers
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Father of the Year® nominee leaves toddler in car parked at strip club. Hilarity ensues
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| (timesonline.co.uk) |
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Vatican attempts to put positive spin on the Crusades
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Ya dair, da 'sconsin language is an everchanging one, dontcha know
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Man arrested for selling marijuana to raise bail money for sons arrested for selling marijuana. The cycle of life continues
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Continuing the longstanding tradition of overpaying, George Steinbrenner offers $50 million for The Bronx
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Princeton student gets $350,000 settlement for falling from half-built bell tower. Personal responsibility surrenders
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Vivi, the whippet lost at JFK Airport last month, apparently touring Flushing, looking for a good place to use as a toilet. Shea Stadium security standing by
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| (Some Guy) |
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Boston-area Tomb & Booze Adventure Fark Party -- Saturday, 1 April (DIT)
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| (Wikipedia) |
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It's World Water Day- you probably celebrated this morning and didn't even know it
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Goths are the most likely group to become architects and psychologists
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| (Some Guy) |
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Mike Tython apologitheth for patht life of violenth
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| (Some Bad Parent) |
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Photoshop this heat-packing preschooler
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| (Peoria Journal Star) |
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Man with new world record 1,015 body piercings says,"I feel like I've done something memorable with my life"
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Canadian doctor alleges that "patients will continue to suffer and die because of waiting lists"; proposes a private system as an alternative
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| (Flight by jemison) |
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One of the coolest pics you'll see this lifetime
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| (Kretin Times) |
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An udderly tragic love affair: Man's noisy cow-passion gets him discovered. Jailarity ensues
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| (Some Guy) |
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Think you can check into a hotel, go down to the bar and get drunk before returning to your room? Think again
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Mississippi Fark Party in Ridgeland -- April 1, 7:00-10:00 p.m. at Buffalo Wild Wings
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Medical prof who moved to Botswana to help with doctor shortage eaten by a crocodile that dragged him from a canoe. This is why you don't try to help people
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| (Flickr) |
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Caption this curious dog
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| Tue March 21, 2006 |
| (wftv.com) |
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Woman's hair bursts into flames, causes house fire. With a headline like that, you have to know which tag belongs with this story
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Teacher sues school because farting chair made her the butt of jokes
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Microsoft delays launch of Vista operating system. In equally shocking news, Courtney Love may be out of running for Mother of the Year award
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| (Some Shield Fan) |
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Tonight's "The Shield" season finale discussion thread
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| (dgc360) |
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Official "American Idol" thread. One down, ten more to go
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| (New York) |
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Who needs NY/NJ's ports? Dubai makes money on each Dunkin' Donuts' coffee, Baskin-Robbins sundae, Hertz car rental and Alain Ducasse dinner that New Yorkers buy
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Whether they're small and pink, black and bumpy, or even grey and shrivelled, Bolivians are thrilled to yank out their tubers for the admiration of others at annual festival
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Farker featured in USA Today for, basically, being a dork. But in a cute way
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MIT brings broadband Internet access to outer space, ensuring astronauts can keep up with Foobies on Mars
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: 1930s big band + hip hop
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One-third of French admit they've surrendered to racism
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911 tape of the Ohio man who turned himself in after shooting the neighbor kid for messing up his perfect lawn (audio)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these zebra and wildebeest
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Man returns home to find other people living in it -- after his estranged wife forged his signature and sold the home
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| (Wish TV) |
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DOT decides how to transport 400 gallons of "caustic chemical soup" across New Jersey. "A tiny amount the size of a pin could kill a person"
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"Scientists study nuts and bolts of shuttle launches." Presumably by picking the things off the launch pad afterwards
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| (2theadvocate.com) |
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"B-Stupid" just a punk to "C-Murder," both "A-sshats"
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Ever-vigilant safety authorities recommend kids wearing those stupid Heely shoes also wear helmets, elbow and knee pads as well as wrist protectors so they don't bash what few brains they possess out on the sidewalk
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Germany building special "hooligan jail" for World Cup. New German-speaking hooligans not impressed
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Today's entry from the London mayor's wheel-o-bigotry (spins wheel): Telling Jewish developers to go back to Iran to see "if they can do better under the ayatollahs"
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| (KSL) |
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Crossdressing gas station robber snared by his own fishnet pantyhose
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Kenya to destroy record cocaine shipment. Right now they're storing it 26 miles outside the city. Good thing there's no one in Kenya who can run 26 miles in one day
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