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| Sun March 19, 2006 |
| (Some Guy) |
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The belief that Islam was spread by the sword is a fabrication. Charles Martel, Leo III, Khan Tervel, Rostam Farrokhzad and Pelayo beg to differ
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Indian call centers becoming hotbeds for sex and drugs. That's why the help-desk guy sounded a little out of breath and frankly unhelpful yesterday
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Garden gnomes form illegal formation on field with extra player
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| (Some Guy) |
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Disabled or just seriously lazy? Get a "monkey helper" to turn on lights, fetch beers, fling poo at Jehovah's Witnesses
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Ugly-ass lamb with six legs born (with picture)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop a chain, some pain and a stain
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| (Some Guy) |
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150 energy drinks reviewed
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It's my rainforest now. No logging
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| (Some Guy) |
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Iran kicks things up a notch by announcing they won't observe Daylight Savings Time this year. Shocked world community didn't realize things had gotten this bad
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Pilots flying into Miami International suprised to find that pirate hip-hop radio station is broadcasting on same frequency as air-traffic control. Hilarity has not ensued. Yet. Yo
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Explore the history of getting drunk and getting it on - - Going to need some more research
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| (Some Guy) |
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Naked world records (may not be safe for work) (link farked)
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If you ever have a choice of where you are jailed, try the PA's Jericho jail. You get Cigars, birds, flowers and servants
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| (Some Axe Me No Questions Guy) |
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Photoshop these very natural-looking military dudes and their prized ice axe
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| (Some Guy) |
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12 books that changed the world
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Idiot performance artist to leave six taps running at "secret" locations in London as protest against privatization of water. Last time he tried it in a gallery but visitors kept turning off the tap in protest of his protest
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NCAA tournament discussion
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Five people in India beaheaded for witchcraft after workers on a tea plantation afflicted by a strange disease. But don't worry, they had a trial and stuff before being found guilty
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| (Times Online) |
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British taxes now take $57 of every $100 earned, yet debt is at 127% of GDP. Bush points and laughs, does his Nelson impression
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American family writes Canadian senators about 'horrific' seal cull. Canadian senator writes back about 'horrific' innocent Iraqi cull
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Top 10 places to party while on Spring Break
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Rumsfeld Godwins Iraq debate, says leaving now would be like giving Germany to the Nazis
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| (Some Guy) |
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New Age begins for online RPG, Final Hero
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wallpaper that updates with an photorealistic image of the Earth as it would be seen from space at that precise moment
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Website sues Google because they were placed lower in search rankings
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Liverpool apologizes for behaviour of its fans in game against Man U. Especially the "pelting with human excrement", they particularly regret that part
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"Very stoned" mouse alerts police to man's pot stash
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| (Some Guy) |
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The JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser. Finally a tank that is both terror-inducing and affordable. Also available on Amazon
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List of the 10 hottest cars in America. Suprisingly, two are actually made in that country
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| (Some Guy) |
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Police officer discovers that the department has a strict policy of not crashing squad cars into second story apartments
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Over half of the government employees in America qualify for retirement, we just can't get them to leave
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| (News-Leader) |
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Missouri man carried 1300 feet by a tornado after being sucked out of his trailer...and lives to tell about it
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| (Some Editorial) |
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"Intellectual poverty is the most striking quality of the Bush administration's new National Security Strategy statement, issued on Thursday." And it gets better from there
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| (Impact Lab) |
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Chinese city is crushing low end cigarettes to make medicine. China is the world's largest cigarette producer and 1.2 million Chinese die each year from smoking. They obviously have a lot of crushing to do
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| (Forbes) |
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Hamas ready to present new government, still undecided on who will lead the Dept. of Self-Combustion
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Illinois gubernatorial candidate suggests drawing straws to narrow field. The catch: he gets ten times as many straws as his opponents
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| (Some Guy) |
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Category 4 Cyclone Larry building to category 5 off Queensland coast. Crikey
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these wall-sitting rebels
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Fire erupts on Moscow metro train after tunnel collapse
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| (Rugby.com.au) |
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Photoshop rugby player Shaun Berne making a break
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| (Don't drop the crucifix) |
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You heard it here first:: Faith-based prisons
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| (Boing Boing) |
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Marvel and DC comics claim they invented the word "Super-Hero" and are trying to trademark the word, so they can file lawsuits to put other comic book companies out of business
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| Sat March 18, 2006 |
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Policemen fired after using internet to check driving records of co-workers, bosses, John Travolta, and Tom Selleck
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you might have murdered someone, try to avoid going to the police to ask questions about the crime
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Epileptic boy heartbroken over loss of small black seizure dog. Had already taught him to lie down and shake
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| (Some Guy) |
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Criminal mastermind tripped up when the PA Lotto refuses to accept photoshopped ticket
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Drinking, violence, destruction of property. Is this what St. Patrick's Day means to us? In Kansas City the answer, year after year, is "yes"
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After mostly getting bids from brothels, fortune tellers and loan sharks, city decides against selling naming rights to bus stops
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Hoping not to be humiliated by coworkers, man swears he was attacked by ferocious bobcat, despite raccoon tracks everywhere
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Volkswagen removes billboard from Hispanic areas after residents found the phrase "turbo cojones" offensive
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| (wildsilverfox) |
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The most important photoshop ever: Design a "Snakes on a Plane" movie poster
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| (Some guy in the doghouse) |
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Architechts, builders create doghouses for charity. Your dog wants a Frank Lloyd Wright
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| (Some Edgy Guy) |
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Slow Saturday Rock Survey #2 - Name your top 5 most distinctive rock guitarists. Distinctive meaning that you recognize them from note one. Difficulty: The Edge is in my top 5
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"If the election were held today, the Democrats would capture 18 to 23 seats in the House. They need 15 to regain the majority"
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"Women love to watch the guy breaking bricks with his hands. The bricks are not important, though: when the guy concentrates to break them he loses erection"
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A California judge requests a private copy of the alleged Britney Spears sex tape
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| (TokenArcade.com) |
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Add Like Mad - Test out your math skills
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| (Navy Newsstand) |
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Pirates: 0. US Navy: 1.......... Ninjas: 7
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"Rock star Clinton eclipses his 2nd banana"
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French protesting about something
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81-year-old man wanted to rob a bank before he died "because they have always robbed me." (with pic)
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Because Hillary Clinton won't pander and take an anti-war stance, she's pissing off the Democrat party faithful
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| (Some Guy) |
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Atheism is the fastest growing religious identity in America
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| (News Journal) |
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Branch of The Ohio State University takes it on the chin for not doing enough to encourage minorities to go to College
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| (Kearney Hub) |
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Swimming in the nude can be a nice way to unwind, relax, and commune with nature. But it's not really recommended in the hotel's pool. Especially if you're not even a guest
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Doctor annoyed that his medical license has been suspended just because he placed a business ad. Of course, the ad was graced with his naked pics and was advertising his escort business
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Speeder tells police he was just putting his new Porsche through its paces, gets clocked doing 193 mph
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Sinn Fein leader delayed at airport for secondary screening after meeting with President Bush. Happy St. Security Day
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| (Some Guy) |
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Seven people run over by train that they were pulling with ropes while filming reality TV show
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New prostitution law is good news for cheerleaders
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| (Sentinel) |
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Teenager sticks gun down the front of his waistband, is dismayed when it starts to slip. Of course, hilarity did not ensue until he tried to catch it
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| (Hamilton Spectator) |
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The intensity of the competition for research grant money is the reason that researchers are producing crappy science and violating ethics
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| (KATU) |
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Audi TT completely crushed between 18-wheeler and bus on freeway. Driver walks away (with crash video)
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Australian officials recommend smearing hemorrhoid cream on toads and then putting them in the freezer
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Dissension in the ranks as Al Qaeda questions why no suicide bombers have been unleashed in the USA. Other interesting daily life inquiries contained inside
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Who will have the incredible NCAA Cinderella story? Let the discussion for Round 2 begin
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this bar jumper
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| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit yourself having a particularly frustrating conversation with an outsourced customer-service operator
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| (Some Guy) |
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Forty one students boycott school to protest the demotion of dean of students. Same forty one students promptly suspended by same dean
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| (Some Guy) |
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The top 100 overlooked films of the 1990's
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Moose lands in front seat of car and looks very comfortable there (pic)
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California town bans nearly all outdoor smoking, expected to turn their attention to car exhausts, chimneys and Cub Scout campfires in renewed zeal to ban smoke and air
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Thousands of Spanish youth to take to streets in display of massive drunkenness, or as it's known in America, "Friday"
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| (ABC13) |
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79-year-old four-term councilman beats election challenger. Did I mention he was dead?
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| (Honolulu Star-Bulletin) |
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106 inches (almost 9 feet) of rain in Hawaii -- in 3 weeks
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| (Photo.net) |
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Photoshop this Roman hole jumper
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| (Some Guy) |
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100 science fiction books you just have to read
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| (Some German) |
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You know that scene at the end of "Return of the King" where the ground splits apart and swallows Sauron's armies? Yeah, that's starting to happen in Ethiopia. Without the orcs and trolls, of course
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Halliburton denies that it moved its annual meeting from Houston to Bugfark, Oklahoma to avoid swarms of protestors it usually attracts
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Aptera hybrid is under $20k and boasts 330mpg. Yes, thats a full 317 more miles per gallon than a Hummer
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| (videogamesblogger) |
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Mortal Kombat creator Ed Boon talks current & next generation gaming
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| (Hutchinson News) |
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Group of bikers tour the country, keeping Westboro Baptist Church protesters from disturbing military funerals. Good guys ride Iron Horses
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| Fri March 17, 2006 |
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Hot selling wines have "critter" labels. Oddly enough, Old Skunk Crotch Merlot not a big hit
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| (Some Satch fan) |
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Listen to Satriani's new CD on his website. Why don't more musicians do this?
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| (Some Guy) |
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The Popular Science movie awards
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Man dressed as Jedi knight spends night in jail after being caught breaking into his own house and discovering the (police) force was definitely against him (pic)
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| (witz.org) |
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Kurt Cobain will be immortalized...as an action figure
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| (Some Guy) |
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My dog just ate a wedge of raw cabbage. I'm guessing I'm going to have to move out of the house for a few days?
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Fifty-seven per cent of American drivers say they have "personal reasons" for not using their turn signals, including a breathtaking seven per cent who say not using them "adds excitement" to driving
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ultimate list of horny teachers that weren't at your school
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| (Hindustantimes.com) |
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Tongue piercing could cause you to grow a second tongue
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NCAA tournament discussion
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| (Some Guy) |
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Top ten coolest robots
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Visit Oregon. See our lovely cities. Our gorgeous coastline. And check out our massive glockenspiel
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Rasta Reese's, Munchy Ways, Pot Tarts -- pictures of the goodies seized in DEA pot bust
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Man steals tractor-trailer loaded with $4.8 million worth of cell phones, blissfully unaware that there's a strong possibility that there might be a electronic tracking device aboard
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Apparently, being a robot is not a defense against murder. "Death by robots" insurance sales plummet
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US Army to close base in Luxembourg, despite pleas from citizens concerned that hostile Liechtenstein is just waiting for an opening like this
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Today's other "burglar gets stuck in restaurant air vent" story brought to you by St. Louis. Trifecta in play
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"Big Love" activists claim mainstreaming polygamy is the "next civil rights battle." Two of three wives agree
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Man compensated $275,000 after Mike Tyson chewed on his leg in the middle of a Florida interstate
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| (Pittsburgh Channel) |
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Police given the slip by bank robber covered in Vaseline
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| (Post Chronicle) |
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Hamas leader says if Israel gives everything back then they will recognize them. Good luck with that
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| (11Alive) |
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Today's "burglar gets stuck in restaurant air vent" story brought to you by Atlanta (with pic)
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| (Some thirsty people) |
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Forget Oil. Water is what the fight is going to be in the future . And the future starts now
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| (SouthFlorida.com) |
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Costco pulls Picasso drawings from website after one of Picasso's daughters questions authenticity of items
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| (AZ Starnet) |
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Interstate closed after spill of 40,000 lbs of cooking oil. Today's special: deep-fried roadkill
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you're going to go shoplifting, you don't want to do anything that would make you stand out to store security. You know, like wearing a Superman costume
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Head of England school prohibits students from raising hands in the classroom, to keep those not called on from feeling victimized
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| (Daily Record) |
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Thief demonstrates that if you're carrying a bucket of urine, people will think you're a doctor and give you free stuff
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Photoshop this oddly shaped building in Dubai
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Utah couple sues Sea World for turning their home into an animal house
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White guy wants to see more education about slavery in the Northern U.S. (with street-cred affirming pic)
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| (sploid.com) |
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Man picks up hitchhiker, takes him to convenience store, and forces him to eat pizza and drink wine at knifepoint
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German hotel begins charging customers by weight. Oh, the huge manatee
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Man who climbed lighthouse in tiger suit now charged with killing his dog. Media publicity is grrrrreat
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A St. Patrick's Day tribute to green super heroes and villains
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The English are the most frequent gazumpers in Europe
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Special forces soldier follows his training and hits the gas to avoid a man pointing a gun at him. Too bad it was a speed gun
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Exotic dancers in Australia entitled to overtime, rest periods, meal breaks and maternity leave. Oh the huge mammaries
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Miami Heat's Dwayne Wade can't even guard his car's wheels in his own driveway
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Today's "couple fails to rob bank via the drive-up window" story brought to you by Naperville, IL
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Doctors request permission to terminate life of 18-month-old boy with severe birth defects despite his parents' express wishes to keep him alive. Judge to doctors: Suck it
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| (The Newspaper) |
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Old and busted: Speed cameras. New hotness: Noise cameras
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Denny's Grand Slam: Three deadly shootings in one week with a side of scary
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Grab a virgin and lace up your boots -- the trail to the top of Mount St. Helens is open again
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| (NBC6.net) |
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Five-foot-one, 62-year-old grandma takes down fleeing robbery suspect. As it turns out, she's a champion bodybuilder (with pic)
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| (Mumbai Mirror) |
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Police catch high school vandals after studying the photocopies of their asses they left behind at the scene
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Canada worth exactly half of the entire U.S. national debt
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| (Some Guy) |
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If you're planning to steal your friend's car and set it on fire, you probably shouldn't accidentally dial 911 on your cellphone and let the cops listen in for four hours
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| (Moooo) |
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Flying cow leaves two police cars in flames
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Federal agents bust a marijuana ring that distributed pot-laced candy and soft drinks. Confiscated items include Rasta Reece's, Pot Tarts, Double Puff Oreo, Bong's Root Beer and Toka-Cola
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Sweden plans to colonize the moon
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| (2theadvocate) |
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Four hundred skydivers jump in tandem, setting a world record for the largest group ever to link up in flight, beating old record set by Pink Floyd fans
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| (MassLive.com) |
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Parents surprised to learn middle school activities include nipple twisting and ball tapping
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Chinese police have created a body-odor bank. Making a withdrawl undoubtedly unpleasant, but the mind recoils when pondering how deposits are made
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| (Press & Journal) |
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Pub provokes Christian outrage by planning to serve one of God's greatest gifts to man on a Sunday
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| (Some Guy) |
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Seventeen-year-old steals car and tries to run over cops. Learns a life-long lesson that lasts a few minutes
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| (maj.com) |
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Photoshop this unusually large pizza
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| (The Stranger) |
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Man takes computer into repair shop because he can't open image files. Shop repairs problem, finds trove of JPEGs depicting child molestation. Bonus: Shop customers threaten boycott over privacy invasion
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| (TagWorld) |
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Snakes on a motherfarkin trailer
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Distraught man bursts from home, hurling knives and his own penis at surrounding officers. Police spokesman says suspect is just plain nuts
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| (OregonLive.com) |
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High school student creates "Brokeback High" film for English class project. What could possibly go wrong?
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In retrospect, perhaps a Leopard 2A4 battle tank is a tad heavy to be driving over an ice-covered bog
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| (Some Guy) |
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"This game is easy," you think, and then you get to level three
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Hilarity ensues when a gym teacher pulls a knife to get his lazy students to run around
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| (Some Guy) |
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Rosco P. Coltrane finally catches up with Dukes of Hazzard star Tom Wopat. Cooter can't save his pretty mouth now
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| (Some Irish Farker) |
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Happy Saint Patrick's Day, have a beer, pog mo thoin
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| (Some Guy?) |
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Male Like Me: Lesbian author dresses up as a man to find out what guys are really like when no women are around
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| (WALB-TV) |
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Georgia man arrested for riding a hog without a helmet
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| (Some Guy) |
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Homeless barred from using Internet at NYC libraries. Online cardboard box salesmen surrender
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Marathon runner chases teen mugger until the punk collapses in exhaustion
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: Earth, wind and fire. Difficulty: No musical references
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Man tries to buy condoms and cologne with fake $100 bill. Unless he was planning on a fun night in prison, his date isn't going to go well
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| (NBC 6) |
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In retrospect, corraling your cows by plowing into them with a Chevy van was probably not a bright idea
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| (Some Guy) |
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Twenty percent of all examined newspaper articles about common neurologic conditions had medical errors or exaggerations. The other 90 percent were even worse
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California tagging gang members before releasing them back into the wild
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When robbing a bank, make sure it's not of the cashless variety
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| Thu March 16, 2006 |
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Hopes of reanimating founders of world cryonics movement dashed when the corpsicles thaw following freezer failure
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Feds try to carry materials needed to make a homemade bomb through airport security 21 times and succeed in getting through 21 times. Now please take off your shoes, belt and hand in your tweezers before boarding the aircraft, grandma
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| (Some Guy) |
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Japanese company makes jeans out of sugar cane, ushering in a whole new era of cheesy pick-up lines
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| (Some Floyd Guy) |
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David Gilmour refused to play "Another Brick In the Wall" during Live 8 because of the song's lyrics and because the song was not appropriate for the festive event
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Kangaroo leads Austrian police on snow chase (with pic)
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| (Some SXSW guy with munchies) |
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Today's "two 18-wheelers collide and spew frozen hamburger patties across freeway, closing traffic for 10 hours" story brought to you by Austin, Texas
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| (Some Prick) |
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Photoshop these porcupine babies
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| (The Local) |
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Ten-year-old girls steer car driving at 140 kph as drunk driver sleeps at the wheel
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Man living on High Street within his rights to paint marijuana leaves on his house after pot bust
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| (news.com.com) |
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What's the most fun game to play in traffic? Roomba Frogger
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Team of specially trained dogs deployed to lock their owners in their houses if it catches fire. Your cat has been secretly training to do this to you for years
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"Tree massacre" occurs in downtown Tampa park popular with stoners, homeless
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| (Sentinel and Enterprise) |
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Men decide to chop down large tree on windy day as people walk past. If you can guess what happened next, you're too smart to be a city councilor
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| (WGAL) |
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Melted chocolate runs through streets as candy factory burns. With pics
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Turns out that a $59-million jail featuring art and flat-screen TVs in Portland, Oregon is too expensive to open
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Early humans probably peaceful; probably had calloused feet from self-propelled cars
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| (Some Goyim) |
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Banned book back on school board's shelves
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Americans cost the U.S. economy $586 billion a year thinking up stupid headlines and checking their auctions
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Kentucky to decriminalize public breast feeding
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Cable industry argues a la carte channels would result in them charging consumers more, breaking their long-standing tradition of ever-better service at ever-diminishing cost
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| (5 - 4 - 3 - -) |
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Eighty years ago this morning, Robert Goddard lit a fuse and changed the world
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| (Idaho Statesman) |
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Convenience-store clerk brings squeegee to a knife fight with an armed robber, wins anyway
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Physicists announce findings showing evidence for rapid expansion of the universe immediately after the Big Bang, fail to use the proper technical term "Dutch Oven Effect"
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Police pull over drunk naked 70-year-old woman having sex with naked drunk man 11 years her junior. This thread is useful without pictures
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| (allheadlinenews.com) |
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A Pennsylvania restaurant beats its own record by introducing a new hamburger as big as a car tire and weighing 15 pounds
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Hot pepper kills prostate cancer cells in study... but is the world really ready for habañero suppositories?
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| (wcpo.com) |
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Avon outsources 300+ jobs. You will now have to call India to find out the proper method of applying lipstick to a cat's anus
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| (thejacksonchannel) |
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Today's "three-year-old bringing pot on a school bus" story brought to you by Monroe, MI
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Car thief participates in Bring Your Child to Work Day. Child gets to see police participate in Bring Your Daddy to Jail Day
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| (The Journal News) |
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Suspected coke dealer walks into police station, asks if he's wanted. You know the rest
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| (West Press) |
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When planning world travel, don't forget to pack your pantomime cow costume
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Student recites 8,784 digits of pi, fights off chicks
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| (WTOP via DCist) |
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Ways not to get a job at the CIA: Tell the guard that God sent you, and then assume a fighting stance when he says go away
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| (Northwest Herald) |
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Bad: Driving drunk. Worse: Driving to pick up your kid from school and you're drunk. Fark.com: So is your chihuahua
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| (ABC7) |
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Dog uncovers possible attempt to blow Cox... Arena where NCAA championship games held. Fark.com: Suspicious package found at hot-dog stand. Your dog wants hot dogs
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Surveillance cameras catch thieves stealing surveillance cameras
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| (woai) |
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Man sues Wal-Mart over exploding Spongebob shirt
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| (Michelle Malkin) |
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Identity of the 9/11 "falling man" is confirmed. (With pic of man falling, may be NSFW)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Wildfires continue to rage across Texas. Pat Robertson still trying to figure out what God is trying to say exactly
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these deep thinkers
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Move over, WoW: New online game features breathtaking activities like sewing and sock-mending on the path to socialist glory
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| (Ha'Aretz) |
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Hospital keeps baby on "deposit" to assure payment for delivery of triplets
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Largest air assault since 2003 underway in Iraq
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| (Some Crazy Canuck) |
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Grab your club -- it's seal-hunting season
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Good: Script for new Indiana Jones film finally approved by Harrison Ford and Spielberg. Bad: It's by the screenwriter behind such classics as "Rush Hour 2" and "Speed 2: Cruise Control"
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| (Impact Lab) |
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Radical hair stylist uses axes and swords to trim people's hair. Free Band Aids with every visit
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| (Rolling Stone) |
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The reason Ozzy didn't play at the Rock n Roll Piss Stain induction ceremony? "My balls hurt"
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Florida expected to catch fire and burn up shortly. Hopefully hurricanes will then arrive to put it out
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| (Impact Lab) |
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Way cool photos of art sculpture made entirely of eggs, which just goes to show if you want to make great art you have to break a few eggs
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Official Thursday NCAA Tournament first-round discussion thread
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| (TechDirt) |
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Steve Wozniak raises $150 million in an IPO for his new company which apparently only produces its own stock
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Bush reaffirms that he reserves the right to launch a pre-emptive strike, points to the camera and goes "That's right Iran. I'm talking to you." Boo-yah
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U.S. ambassador to UN compares Iran threat to 9/11 attacks
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| (La Crosse Tribune) |
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No person shall within the city of La Crosse molest, injure or in any manner interfere with any squirrel of any kind
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| (Farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 45: "Light." Link goes to next week's contest. Please read first post
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| (My nightmare) |
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Theme: Photoshop what the #$%@ happened to Eddie Van Halen
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Republicans dismayed when Jessica Simpson walks all over them with her boots. Submitter apoplectic over almost giving Jessica Simpson "Hero" tag
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Elderly men dust off flirting skills to score at dance center where ladies outnumber them two-to-one. "I came for the lemonade until I saw you"
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Cheerleading is a "sport" in "crisis"
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| (Some Guy) |
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Ten New York City experiences to avoid -- funny, mugging isn't listed
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In retaliation for world baseball classic humiliation, U.S. prepares to invade Canada
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| Wed March 15, 2006 |
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More and more old people turning to online dating if all else fails
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| (Some Guy) |
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Top 10 vehicles owned by billionaires
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| (Some Guy) |
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Find out if you could have passed the 8th grade back in 1895
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Copenhagen's Little Mermaid statue vandalized with green paint, dildo. Police still trying to peg culprits (pic)
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| (some nanook) |
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University of Alaska, Fairbanks wins seventh D-1 Rifle national championship in eight years, defeating lesser known schools such as Army, Navy
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| (KBCI) |
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New advice from the folks who encouraged you to buy duct tape and plastic wrap to terror-proof your house: Keep powdered milk and tuna under your bed to ward off bird flu
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| (Guardian UK) |
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Pentagon developing insect cyborgs for spy missions, hunting Sarah Connor
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| (Some Pastafarian) |
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Ordinary: Devoted worshippers put up a billboard glorifying their god. Fark: It's of FSM, and it's in Baltimore (with pastariffic picture goodness)
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: If another country were the world's superpower
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| (Some Guy) |
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Nintendo helping to create diabetes management game
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The former UNC student who ran over other students but who is not a terrorist sends a letter to a TV station explaining himself and of course the first word is "Allah"
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| (Harrisburg) |
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Correctional-officer positions open. Must be able to "think and wear hats." Also taking bullets and shivs gracefully a plus
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| (Rochester D&C) |
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Inventor of chicken nuggets dies. Various body parts to be recombined, buried in BBQ sauce
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Ugly-assed baby anteater does an impression of a walking panda at the Japanese zoo. (With pic)
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After curing all genetic diseases, scientists create 50 billion smiley faces using DNA (with pic goodness)
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| (WTVF) |
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Angry that the teachers were getting all the good ones, school secretary goes out and gets some from a 16-year old student (with pic)
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Two boys, deprived of a classic cartoon education, successfully test limits of a warehouse skylight by jumping on it repeatedly
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Turkey "explodes" through picture window of Michigan couple's house as they watch TV. Unfortunately, they weren't watching "When Animals Attack"
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| (NBC San Diego) |
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Man sues himself after backing into his own car with a dump truck
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| (Some English) |
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Family's house is destroyed by a tornado. Amish neighbors rebuild the entire thing in a day and still have time to get in a quick 15 frames at the bowling alley
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Three dead, two hurt in California when gunman opens fire in Denny's
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| (The Daily Record) |
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Woman who wins lottery says the first thing she wants to do now that she is rich is: A) Quit job. B) Buy a mansion. C) Travel the world, or D) Go to Saltcoats and ride a donkey
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Clinical trial of anti-inflammatory drug concludes with six people seriously ill in intensive care suffering from severe inflammation. "Scary" tag trumps "Ironic"
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Mayor angrily proclaims T'Farker Hillary's web site as "the worst thing ever" that has happened in the city's history -- the same town that trained Mohamed Atta how to fly into the WTC
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Movie theaters to jam cellphones. Hopefully right up the arse of that jerk in the third row
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| (Some Guy) |
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Climate change "irreversible" as Arctic sea ice fails to re-form. Your dog wants a boat
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World Baseball Classic tiebreak formula is so goofy that even the Associated Press can't figure out if the U.S. needs Korea or Japan to win tonight
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Wildest statements made by video-game industry veterans: "The single-player game is a strange mutant monster which has only existed for 21 years and is about to go away because it is unnatural and abnormal"
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Latest gadget that is susceptible to viruses: RFID chips. Tinfoil hat brigade tightens up chin straps
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Republicans re-insert drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge into non-filibusterable budget bill, will vote on it today
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| (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) |
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New 1800-page Encyclopedia of Appalachia now available. Publisher apparently unfamiliar with the target audience
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| (NBC4.tv) |
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Of all the things you could wear on your head during convenience store robbery, milk crates probably shouldn't be near top of list (with picture goodness)
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Wisconsin tells neigboring states to keep its garbage at home and stop dumping it there. No word on if it applies to Michael Feldman monologues
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Wrestling coach tapes student to bench and leaves him there for inappropriately behaving on a bus
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Kegs become prime target for theives. Surprisingly, it's not for the beer inside
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| (Daily Mail) |
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"Teenagers and young men today are secret traditionalists who believe in hard work and family values, new research has revealed"
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Harley-Davidson desperately searching for new customers as its prime Baby Boomer demographic more interested in buying walkers and electric wheelchairs
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| (National Post) |
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Lost a mitten? Canadian? The National Mitten Registry can help
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Kings
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Discovery Channel launches website to help parents so they won't look like idiots while helping their kids do homework
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| (Channel 4 TV) |
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The 50 best actors, according to the actors themselves
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Top 10 radio shock jocks (sponsored link)
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Police on the lookout for man who robs convenience stores while wearing tube socks on his hands (with pic)
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Guards dismayed to discover that their security van is so secure that they find themselves trapped inside
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| (NBC5i) |
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Texas cities competing to increase gay tourism
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Huge oil field discovered off the shore of Mexico. The bombing will begin in five minutes
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Burned man says he was better off naked
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Carjacker gets surprise menage-a-trois asskicking by his intended female victim and a nearby woman. Bonus: Submission holds
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Damon Wayan's trademark application for a certain racial slur rejected
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Weird: British pub ordered to pay £2 fine for murder that happened on its premises. Weirder: The murder happened in 1664
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| (RangerBob) |
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Fark Party reminder. Asheville/WNC Party on April 8th. LGN. Location in thread
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This years NCAA tournament will result in $3.8 billion dollars in lost productivity according to firm who just pulled a random number out of a hat
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Hot air balloons
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Study finds that, instead of the sterotype of the grieving widow, most are quite merry
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New musical from North Korea about prison camp, featuring gems like "You Are Just Like Germs" and "All I Want Is Rice." And that's just Act One
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Man busted for carrying 250 $1-billion U.S. bills. Don't know what his bail is, but he can probably cover it
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Police and fire crews respond to reports of a dolphin in distress, turns out it was just a M-F-M dolphin threesome
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| (York Daily Record) |
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Squirrel takes out four cars, last seen collecting high-fives from his friends
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Teacher bites student for not spitting out a piece of candy
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| Tue March 14, 2006 |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Cubes
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| (Nature) |
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Supercomputer builds a virus. And so it begins
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| (Affirmative Action Jackson) |
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Facing threats of litigation and pressure from Washington, colleges and universities nationwide are opening to white students hundreds of thousands of dollars in fellowships, scholarships and other programs previously aimed at minorities
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Man caught with 1067 baby crocodiles in his car
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| (Some Guy) |
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Theme: What will "popular music" sound like in 100 years?
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Man passes out at Wisconsin party, wakes up covered in dry oatmeal and syrup. It was all fun and games until Oatmeal Boy pulled a gun
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| (Some Guy) |
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2005 porn titles -- bear in mind that 2005 refers to year and not quantity
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Kids take trash and lighter fluid into the garage to cook marshmallows. What could possibly go wrong?
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Dumbass: A man tries to rob a bank with just a helmet and an empty bag. Fark: The bank gives him the money
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Sirhan Sirhan unlikely unlikely to to be be released released on on parole parole
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Annual re-enactment of Battle Of Selma cancelled due to high gas prices
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| (kyw1060.com) |
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Men charged for committing fake crimes
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| (WMTW.com) |
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Just as police were about to release a man for fighting, he coughs up 31 bags of heroin
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High-scoring autistic basketball player gets visit from Bush. Both vow to continue showing how much can be accomplished by learning-disabled people
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| (The iPod Observer) |
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Microsoft confirms it created iPod Box Parody Video. And the bit. And the number zero. And the sun
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| (Some Dog Rescue) |
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Farker needs help naming rescued dog. Difficulty: Cat is named David Bowie
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| (Some Coffee Nut) |
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Starbucks will serve free coffee on Wednesday, March 15th, from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m.
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Serbia and Montenegro may split as a federation, not because of economy or political change, but because of Eurovision
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Man robs same Taco Bell so many times, workers begin opening the cash register whenever they see him coming
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| (The Newspaper) |
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Judge overturns speed camera ticket after nobody can explain how to tell which of the cars in the picture was the one driving seven mph over the limit
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| (The Local) |
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Drunk women get thrown out of bars more often than drunk men
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| (Peoria Journal Star) |
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Police department refuses to take man's pic off of website after being acquitted of soliciting a prostitute; wants to inform public of "successful outcome"
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Illinois village mulls law that would make it illegal to turn on radio, eat or talk to passengers while driving
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Next space shuttle disaster delayed until at least July 1st
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Judge rules Zacarias Moussaoui still eligible for dirt nap despite allegations of witness coaching
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World War II shell displayed at a school still contained live explosive
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| (NY Daily News) |
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Gawker.com now posting maps of current celeb sightings. What could possibly go wrong?
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Oil companies to Senate: High gas prices aren't our fault, suck it
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Minnesota's Babe the Blue Ox statue gets $100,000 in highway money to fix her asscrack
|
| (India Times) |
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Great news: Top economic advisors say by 2012 unemployment will be totally eliminated. Bad news: In New Delhi
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| (Eisenhower) |
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Photoshop this addition to someone's reptile enclosure
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| (TheSuperficial) |
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Some idiots try to start Internet rumor that Will Ferrell is dead
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Man carjacks minutes after being released from jail for carjacking (with mug pic)
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| (Shanghai Daily) |
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Shanghai officials to replace only piece of stolen public art Farkers can agree is worthwhile: A bronze hottie in a belly shirt and mini-skirt talking on the phone (with pic)
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| (Jokaroo) |
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Jessica Simpson mocks Britney Spears on SNL (sponsored link)
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| (Some Guy) |
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'Gonadologists' flock to Virginia City for the 15th annual 'testicle festival'
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If you are the owner of a runaway barge that slammed into the Severn River Bridge and tied up traffice on Route 50, the Coast Guard would like to talk to you
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Prostitutes retraining as geriatric nurses. Your grampa is in good hands
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"Suspicious powder" found in letter addressed to Vancouver Canucks, referring to Todd Bertuzzi. As if broken sewer lines were the biggest concern for NHL teams
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| (MetroWest Daily News) |
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Company says it has no idea how a load of radioactive diapers ended up at its trash transfer station
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Always at the forefront of technology: UN reports that 2004 (yes, 2004) set record for highest greenhouse gases. Ric Romero intrigued
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's "garbage- and feces-infested animal shelter with 50 cats, 75-100 dogs and several horses" story is brought to you by Red Lodge, Montana
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Credit agencies Equifax, Experian and TransUnion pleased to announce that they will all have consistent reasons for turning you down for a loan
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Judge orders Google to hand your porn search history over to the DoJ. No need for concern, citizen
|
| (kolotv) |
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Today's school shooting brought to you by Pine Middle School. Go PMS
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88-year-old Mike Wallace retires; CBS finds out about it by reading the New York Times' website
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Los Angeles County to pay millions of dollars in class action by jail inmates who convinced a judge that sleeping on a mattress on the floor violated the Constitution. Apparently the right to keep and bear boxsprings is in there somewhere
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Judge quashes all subpoenas against Tom DeLay, orders no new ones to be issued. DeLay last seen doing hip thrusts, shouting "Boo-yah!" outside Texas courthouse
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Drew's monthly FHM column is back. This time he talks about Boehners and Jacking Abramoff
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Florida sheriff solves rising crime problem by pulling cold cases out of filing cabinet and marking them "Solved"
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High school students riot, throw stones at police and take all teachers hostage after school refuses to fire teacher accused of being a witch
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Ice Cube to star in "Welcome Back Kotter" remake. Travolta's ass is capped after telling Cube to stick it up his nose with a rubber hose
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New film tells the true story of a 16-year-old messenger boy who delayed the end of WWII by stopping to have pancakes and flirt with a waitress
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American Family Association boycotts Ford. Ford expected to lose three sales this fiscal year
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Thieves now stealing candy from babies in Florida community (with video)
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| (WOAI) |
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Teen shot after arguing about Tater Tots
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| (Q95) |
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Got your NCAA bracket filled in? How about your TnA bracket? (SFW-ish)
|
| (Some Guy) |
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Cal state baseketball player is planning on a hot date after the game. Turns out 5000 male fans were that hot date as he is pwn3d over instant messaging
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Frantic two-hour search for boy who fell through ice ends -- when authorities discover he was home the whole time
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| (KIRO) |
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Wisconsin trucker who "cried like a little girl" when he lost his dog drives 1,000 miles to get it back
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Be on the lookout for three women with two pairs of leather and metal bondage suspension cuffs, a 28-inch-long leather whip, bath salts, rainbow pot holders and an electrical stimulation device
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| (Daily Mail) |
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Faced with falling sales and appeal of FCUK brand wearing off, French Connection hope lesbian kiss advert will revive fortunes . Here come the complaints
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Maggie Gyllenhaal's spanking scene from "Secretary" named Sexiest Moment on Film. Once again, her brother Jake comes in No. 2
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| (Orlando Sentinel) |
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Relocated bears refuse to sit in the woods. Pope still Catholic, though
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| (IHT) |
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Ambien can lead to ravenous, unconscious food consumption, say researchers at the Mayo Clinic. Still no word from Bacon Clinic, Steak Clinic
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North Korea declares right to lauch pre-emptive attack. Jealous of all the attention Iran is getting
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| (Gulf News) |
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If one could face jail time for having sex in a car, one should keep one's ass off the horn
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| (Dark Horizons) |
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Rick McCallum promises the new Star Wars television show will be everything the fans wanted the prequels to be, but will be using completely new characters
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Two hundred people submit Holocaust-themed cartoons to Iranian newspaper, including six from Americans. Hilarity ensues
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| (PinkNews) |
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British gay campaigner denies Zimbabwe coup
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After over four years of staring at a hole in the ground, Port Authority of NYand NJ finally decides that, maybe, they should be doing the rebuilding of their World Trade Center site
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| (People's Daily) |
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Immigrants to Holland must watch gay film footage as an entrance exam
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Daytona prostitutes team up, promise to capture serial killer on the loose
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| (News Herald) |
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Second autopsy completed on youth who died at boot camp. Cause of death determined to be lethal injection administered by Robocop
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Facebook steals MySpace's thunder with underage party pics
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With a little over a month to go before the deadline, phishers are sending out even more bogus emails claiming that the IRS owes you a refund
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Two men steal over 1000 pounds of quarters from pay phones. Planned to use proceeds to pay for hernia surgery
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When Dubai World said "transfer fully" regarding the U.S. ports situation, they lied, according to a leaked internal email
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Pat Robertson says Islam is not 'religion of peace', and that radical Muslims are ''satanic.'' At least they're not gay or he'd really hate them
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The dumbing down of America continues: "American Idol" to get its own pre-show
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| (WPVI) |
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Driver sues for malicious prosecution after being cited for giving a construction worker the one-finger salute
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| (Rochester D&C) |
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